Ugly Kids Become DJs

We talk about stolen ideas, more of Dave's conquests, the quality of life scale for pets, and acapella groups.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here we go with the Minnesota Goodbye. We're gonna start
off with an email dive right in from Brianna, our
show secretary who mails out staff writer stickers. And we
actually we gave out she was on the show yesterday,
I think, and we said, give your Instagram a shout out,
and she said, oh, it's Brianna Boley and she said,

(00:20):
I got one whopping follower. Well, there's no surprise because
nobody knows how to spell your name, so that's it.
It's Bree. I mean, if I spell your name, you'll
get a lot more followers. But when you say, like
follow me Brianna Bully, well I wouldn't know how to
spell that myself, so I will go ahead and spell
it for you. B r e A n n A
b o U l e y. And she is six

(00:43):
foot two of.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Of happiness, of smiles. She's so Brandon's like one of
the sweetest people. Which really do we call her Brian
or Briell? Herself secretary Brie So I don't know if
she prefers one or an other.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
I took her flying. I took her staff writer stickers
a couple of three weeks ago, and I said, well,
I can mail him to you, but better yet, I'll
just fly up to Buffalo meet me at the airport.
So her and her husband came by and he videotaped
as she got to the airplane and we went flying.
So shout out Secretary Brie. She said, you're short on emails,
so I'm doing my part. I've already recommended the documentary Amber,

(01:20):
The Girl Behind the Alert on Peacock, but it got
me thinking, Dave, do you recall when the Amber alert
became a thing? They share in the documentary how essential
radio stations were in making the alert successful and heard
by many. Have you ever had to announce an Amber alert? No,
but I will tell you. Back in the late nineties,
I was reading a magazine article about how the first

(01:42):
Amber alert started in Texas about a girl that literally
her name was Amber, and they put out an Amber
alert on TV and on freeway electric signs and on
radio stations, and it made me want to say, hey,
our radio station needs to enact this am alert. And
I'm not patting myself on the back because it didn't

(02:03):
work out. But I went to my boss and I said, hey,
this is really cool. We need to enact this Amber alert.
So if anybody ever disappears in Minnesota or is abducted,
we can go on the radio and say, hey, Katie
WB is issuing an amber alert, and all the other
radio stations would join in. And basically the boss's answer
was fuck yourself.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
WHOA.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
So yeah, because we had a very unimaginative boss.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
And that's not even imagine that's like safety.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
They were not in they were not into it. They
were not into doing good. They were into their own thing.
So yeah, And which boss am I talking about? Because
I had several bosses?

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Which boss was I talking about?

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay? It was not Mark, by the way to tell us, Yeah,
probably Okay. One other question, You've ever been aware of
another show stealing your morning show content? And have you
ever confronted or said anything to said shows for stealing
from you? Yeah? There was one. God, I mean the
the Ugly Kids billboard that Angie Taylor and I put
up twenty five years ago. It was us both as

(03:05):
fifth grader's little kid pictures and they knocked out our teeth,
and they made our eyes crossed, and they gave us
funny ears and they said ugly kids. And then the
reveal was about a month later where it said ugly
kids become DJs, but you didn't know what it meant.
And it was so successful that it was stolen everywhere,
really everywhere, and it pissed me off because other people.

(03:28):
There was like an article in People magazine about the
station in Milwaukee that did it, and it's like, bitch,
that was my idea. Yeah, we get stuff stolen all
the time.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Wow. Literally, like if you google ugly Kids, it pre
fills it with Billboard, does it really? Yes? And this
is one from Oh, this is two thousand and three. Okay,
got it. That's probably around the same time.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, well we did arg in about ninety nine or
two thousand and two or something like that.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Apparently they're all over the place.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, and that was my idea. And that's just what
That's one of the reasons why I've been able to
stay in this business for a long time is because
I just come up with ideas. That's really I'm not
that good at presenting them on the radio, but I'm
really good at coming up with ideas. And I'll tell
you a quick little story. So the other night, I
get ideas in the middle of the night, and I

(04:14):
wake up and I go god, I got to remember that,
and I never do. So I woke up with a
really good couple of ideas and I said, if I
don't write it down, I gonna forget. So I turned
on the light the lamp on the nightstand, looked in
the drawer and it's in the guest room, so it's
not my drawer. I sleep in the guest room. And
I open it up and I find a pen, and
I find a journal. It was a journal I gave

(04:36):
Allison for Christmas. It says Merry Christmas to Allison from Dad,
two thousand and four. And I tore a page out
of it and wrote my idea down. And I told Alison,
I said, I found your old journal f when when
you were twelve years old. She's like, yeah, dedn't rate
it dead, yeo. And I'm like, no, I did not
read it. And we were, you know, basically like I
don't know what was going on in your life when

(04:57):
you're twelve years old, but probably like crushes on boy
and things like that, and oh okay. Then she wraps
up with how she only got one follower, and thank you,
secretary Brie. We appreciate all you do. Hitting the lead
on that one.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Well, here's the billboard of you and Angie, Ugly Kids
and Little Canada in two thousand and two.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah. Nice, it was a huge billboard.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yeah, and I gotta come up with a good idea.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well, the other billboard I came up with was Dave
Ryan gave me crabs.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yes, I remember seeing that one.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
That was about three ish two and a half ish
years ago. And then we wanted to come up with
one that was going to be another teaser kind of
a billboard when vaut joined the show. It would just
be a black billboard with white lettering that said Bigger, Better, Blacker,
And then it would sit up there for a couple
of weeks and people would be like, what's that all about?
Is that a new show on Max? Is that? What

(05:52):
is that? And it would reveal like a picture of
all of us Bigger, better, blacker than Dave Ryan Show.
And we were going to do it. We really that'd
be a great idea, and Vont ran it by some
of his family and they said, eh, I think they
said it's not a good optic. It seems like it
is taking advantage of the fact that there's a black

(06:12):
kid on the show instead of showing it off, which
my idea was like, Hey, we're the only morning show
in town that's got a full time salaried black guy
on the show. I don't think there's another one. I'm wow,
And I just thought it was kind of a fun
novel thing and everybody, including Vont loved it. But he
ran it by some people and they're like, nah, I
don't think so.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
So, continuing on with the Minnesota Goodbye and to click
this tab, here we go, Christy says, walk in to dogs.
This morning, I encountered various piles what looked like dog
poop on my route. I will spare you a photo,
but based on the looks of it, it's coyote or
fox poo as they eat berries, which are readily available

(06:52):
this time of the year. So today on my walk,
I came across the pooh circled in bright pink chalk
with the word who. Keep in mind, we live in
a wooded area in the country where it's not unusual
to see coyotes and fox Clearly somebody is upset was
seeing the poo in things. It's left by a domestic
dog and the irresponsible owner leaving it, perhaps taking time

(07:15):
to call out who did it. Perhaps they could pick
it up and put their mind at ease. Do I
pick it up? I clean up after my dogs, but
I wasn't about to clean up every turt I see
from a wild animal. Being a natural born smart ass,
I'm tended to leave a note indicating the wild animals
that live in the woods and what they eat. What
would you do? I would just be impressed with myself
that I knew that it was coyote poop. Yeah, I'd
be like, I wouldn't do a thing. A scientist, I

(07:37):
mean personally, I have learned that certain things. No, I
wouldn't do anything about it. But I see it all
the time. I even you know, when I go on
the back trails at Minawashta, two out of three dogs
were off a leash. Two out of three dogs that
I see on the back trails, they're off the leash,
and it's like, bitch, there's an off leash dog park
right down the road, but they don't want to do that.

(08:00):
They want to go on the trails where your I
don't know why.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
Yeah, so they can be alone with their dog because
they probably think, oh, it's the back trails. I can
let my dog off leash and doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, I'm sure that's what they do. But and then
I see it in my neighborhood too. So I was
on the very calmon trail. There's a marsh by my
house and there's got a loop trail around it, and
it's paved. It's such a common trail that it's paved.
And I saw some jack hole the other night with
his fucking dog off the leash, and it's like, we
bring this up way too often. So I'm gonna move on, Christy,

(08:32):
thank you very much. I'm gonna tap delete on that
one and give me a second stall for me.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
Okay, my back hurts right now. I've been sitting kind
of funny lately.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Is it because you're sleeping with your cat?

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I do always have my arm hitched up because he
likes to lay on my chest like he's a baguette
and I'm holding like or a bunch of flowers or something.
So maybe it's that. Maybe I have to tell it.
I have to have a talk with them. Yeah, I'll
be like, you can't sit like that anymore.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Don't say a name on this one, hey, besties, Okay, Dave,
four fucking debbies in a fifth that went by the
name Rusty. Holy fuck. We were talking about like your
body count yesterday and I could name them all off.
And there were four debbies in there. Debbie. Every debbie
I've ever known has been a closet psycho, and you
stuck five of them. I love the vulgarity of the

(09:27):
word stuck. Tell us a story about the crazy ass
debbie that crossed your path. Love you guys the most.
And I won't say her name, but I will say
they are a regular staff writer of the show. And
they are very, very, very funny. And if I told you,
guys who it is, you'd know right away who is
So No, the all the debbies that I knew were
all very nice. There was one who was a little,

(09:49):
a little bit I don't want to say psycho because
that's not fair. Yeah, but she was too pretty for me.
At some point she realized she was too pretty for me,
so she started sleeping with somebody else and and I
knew about it, and I was kind of heartbroken because
she was kind of my girlfriend at the time. And
then so I blew her off and I'm like, Okay,
she's done. And then about a month or two later,

(10:11):
she sent me a pair of stuffed, shiny lips in
the mail, like I think of a stuffed animal. No,
you'll give a stuffed animal, but their lips like kissy
face lips. Sure, okay, yeah, And they're stuffed and they're shiny,
and they had a string to hang from your rear
view mirror. And that was her way of reaching back
out to me before email, before before text messaging. She

(10:34):
sent me this. I still remember standing in my mailbox
going what the fuck? And it was from Debbie. And
I never wrote her back. I never called her, and
I was just done. But that was her way of
like reaching back into my life. And I remember acknowledged it,
and I felt really good about not acknowledging it, even
though she was attractive and she was wanting to get
me back in her life.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
Did you ever sleep in any uggos? Because it seems
like there's a trend where they're all hot. That's how
you've framed all of them.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
I did. Her name is Mary, okay, And the she
called the radio station on a Saturday and won tickets
to a movie. And I said, well, you know, are
you doing anything? I'll pick you up and we'll get
the movie. Passes and we'll go together. That sounds great.
So she gives me her address and I knocked on

(11:22):
the door of her apartment and this really ugly woman
answered the door, and I thought, oh my god, please
don't be her, please be her roommate. No, it was her,
and we hooked up later that night. But the funny
thing was we dated for quite a while, like six
months or so, when she was so sweet. Yeah, she
was so sweet.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
She's sweet because she's ugo, she's got to be sweet.
You know, ugly people can't be a bitch.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
I mean, I've known some beautiful people that were all
so very sweet.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh yeah, beautiful. But I've known any.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Ugly people that were a bitch. You have no, I'm thinking,
have I known any ugly people that were a bitch?

Speaker 3 (11:59):
I don't. I don't do you looking at them right now?
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Okay, all right, thank you, so thank you not saying
your name. Let's grab another one. This is really good
and I want to do this on the radio. But
this is from somebody who said they work in the
veterinary field, and it's a question we get often about
when should I let my dog or cat? Finally, go,

(12:30):
and they said, when is the toughest decision? We get
it all the time. As Jenny said, you know Josie best,
but she will have her own way of telling you
when it's time. Remember to be kind to Josie and
make the best choice for her. And they attach something
that I'm going to put on the website, and I
really want to put this up right away because when
people start hearing the Minnesota Goodbye by midday today, they're

(12:51):
going to want to go look. And I wanted to
be there. So it's a quality of life scale. Let
me give you a couple of example questions. So you
give a zero if you agree with the statement if
describes your pet, one if it's not quite your pet,
but it's close, and two if it does not describe
your pet at all. Then you add up your points
in the higher your points, the more your dog is

(13:13):
towards the end, at the end of their life.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
So for example, if their appetite has stayed the same, okay, Well,
has your dog's appetite stay the same with Josie, I
would give her a one? Okay, I'll keep track of you.
Drinking has stayed the same. I totally disagree. I would
give her a two because she drinks water all the time,
all the time. Normal urination habits, well, that's kind of

(13:39):
hard to say, but no, she can't. She doesn't pee
regularly outside. We have to put a diaper on her
all the time. So I would give a two on
that one. Normal bowel movement habits, I would also say
they're semi normal, so I'd give her a one on
that one. And ability to walk has stayed the same, Yeah,
pretty much has yea. You know, she did have trouble

(14:01):
getting up stairs the other day. But so you there's
a bunch more and you add them up, and then
there's this scale. For example, if it's low, it says
quality of life is fine, no medical intervention is required.
If it's a little higher, it's quality of life is questionable.
Your pet could certainly benefit from veterinary oversight. And if
it's higher, quality of life is a debit of concern

(14:22):
and changes will be more severe and progressive in the
near future. See your vet. And it is a really
I mean, instead of just going by gut or feel
or whatever you think, it is a chart that will
help you kind of sort it out. That's nice for
nice life numbers say that again, that's.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
Really nice for people who like numbers and things to
help them decide.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yeah, can I send it to you, Jenny or Vant
to put up online?

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Why don't you send it to Van?

Speaker 1 (14:46):
Oh, send it to vone. I'll text and then text
him and let him know to put that up and
we'll get that up there. Hopefully it'll be up there
by the time you hear the podcast. And thank you
very much, Amanda, so helpful.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
And just to clarify it to be on Dave ryanshow
dot com like as a blog.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yes, And the reason is because my Josie is just
kind of I just held her last night and I
just scratched her over and over and over, and Susan
took a bunch of pictures and it's just I mean,
I just love that girl. Okay, here is one from Melissa,
another longtime listener, and I've never heard you mentioned Melissa
as part of your body count, Dave, since we share

(15:21):
the same name, that is my choice to hear more Melissa.
There were I think two of them, and really nothing
interesting about either of them. Just both very sweet, just
nothing nothing. I mean. I'm sorry, Melissa, I'm the happy thing.
Not everybody that I hooked up with was crazy. As

(15:41):
a matter of fact, those Melissa's probably thought I was
the crazy one. Yeah, oh, I will give you one Melissa.
The first one did want to have a threesome with
a girl named Surprise Debbie, but Debbie was not into it.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
Gosh, you can tell that you were around and hoping
in the eighties with all these debbies that you were getting.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
With all these lazy names. Nobody under the age of
eighty four now that's named Debbie. There's no young name
of young Debbie the age of what eighty four?

Speaker 3 (16:07):
I know one Debbie that's party three.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
I was going to say, how old is she?

Speaker 3 (16:10):
Thirty three? Abbie?

Speaker 1 (16:12):
How old is you're on Debbie?

Speaker 2 (16:13):
She's fifty.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
Exactly what I'm talking about. That for a Debbie for sure.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
Okay, thank you, Melissa. That was fun. Hearing Melluca Mela
Luca mentioned on Wednesday's podcast made me laugh because somebody
was talking about laundry detergent and they ordered their laundry
detergent from mel Luca. Well Clark writes in in Alabama.
He said it made me laugh. The writer described it
as an online shopping club it's actually a multi level

(16:40):
marketing pyramid where more than ninety nine percent of the
distributors lose money. The statistics from the wh wikipedical Wikipedia
article on the founder Frank vander Slut. Where have I
heard the name Frank Vanderslup vander Slop?

Speaker 2 (16:57):
I've heard that name.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
That sounds like I'm made up name.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
There's no there's like a document or or something on
a guy named Frank van der Sloot. Seriously, so anyway
they're going to say, Clark says, my father in law
sells mel Luca and I've tried many products. For the
most part, they're terrible and overpriced. It was considering it.
Please go into it knowing what the business truly is,
and there's a chance someone will try to recruit you
if you buy anything. Otherwise, keep up the great work.

(17:23):
I love the addition to Bailey. She's the reason I
started listening to the Dave Ryan Show podcast again. Oh wow, Bailey,
thank you for drawing in the listeners.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
We needed you.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
Jenny and I.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Certainly weren't doing it.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
Were not.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
What did you just do?

Speaker 3 (17:43):
This is called beatboxing? I dated a beatboxer once, did you? Yep?
It was fine.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Okay, Okay, Now, I think the fact that you defined
him first as not a plumber and a guy who
did beatboxing, but a guy who you dated a beat boxer.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
That was his job.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
That's what he did.

Speaker 3 (17:58):
That was his job. He was. He's in a or
he still is in an a cappella group. He is
the beatboxer and they would travel all over the world.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Okay, so he was a legitimate like kind of like,
where in the world is Carmen San Diego? Who are
those guys? I don't look it up. Who's sang Where
in the world is Carmen?

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Oh? Shoot, now I can't. There's like one really popular
acapella group.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah, it's not vocal.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
I'm thinking of vocal Adrenaline from Glee. That's not a thing.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
I think that's the theme song.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
And I know, but who sang where in the world
is voice?

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Is a very Carl Chris Phillips, Doug Priest and Christine.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yes they had a name, though.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
It's not giving me a name, Todd.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
What band sang? What band sang? Where in the world
is Carmen san Diego?

Speaker 3 (18:43):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (18:44):
All I can think of is technotronic, and technotronic is
pump up the jam, Up the jam?

Speaker 3 (18:50):
Are you thinking Pentatonics?

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Pentatonics? I think.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
I think if you look up the a cappella groups
of all time, the group that the guy I was
dating is not on it. Actually, you know what, what if
I scroll down and it is on that, I would die.
That would be wild. He's not.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
There's part of me the ones to hear you beatbox
as if you buyos Mosis learned to beat box from
dating this.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
No, he was mostly just like I don't know, Like
we would be driving in the car and he would
be like beatboxing and drumming on the like dash yeah,
and I'd be like, dude. Stop. And then I had
a friend that I worked with who I loved very
much but always had kind of a little crush on me.
But he was like married, so it couldn't happen. But
I told him I was dating a beatboxer, and then
he started beatboxing like all the time, just in regular conversation.

(19:35):
I'm like, stop, all.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Right, come on, admit it. Everybody in the privacy of
their bedroom or their car back in the nineties tried
to beat box to see if they could do well.
Not me what I never I did literally.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
Dating this guy was the first like glimpse into beatboxing
I've ever had, and it.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Was like, I mean, that was better than I could
ever do. But you just did didn't you do it? Jenny?

Speaker 3 (19:57):
I did try it to do it.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Did you guys figure out the name of the group
because I was putting out on the tarms. No, oh,
but the of the where in the world it's Rocapella?

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yes, you're right. Okay, that is going to wrap it
up for the Minnesota Goodbye. Send your fun emails to
Ryan's show at KDWB dot com.