Walmartification

We send love to a special MN Goodbye staff writer, talk nature, birds, and coats!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Time for the men Minnesota Goodbye. It is a Friday
and we're heading into the weekend, and I've really got
nothing to do this weekend, so I'm very excited.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Should we start by saying thanks to Secretary Brie, because
she's a big member of the podcast community, I would
say the Minnesota goodbye because she sends out all of
our stickers and she just gave us all a little present.
They've got a book, a bird book, right.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yeah, it's called The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of
North America. And it's kind of a parody of real birds.
And here's one called the fucking pigeon common name rock pigeon.
And then it's just like it's a parody of like
here's the doofest hummingbird, and it's.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
What they're actually called.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Confused, No, it is the real name. For example, here's
one called the brown headed cowbird, but this parody is
the shittheaded cowbird. And these shitheads are the worst. They
lay eggs like it's going out of style. Seriously, like
one every day all summer long. The female finds the
nest of some other birds, he throws one of their
eggs out of the nest. That's fucked up. Then she
lays one of her own eggs in his place and

(01:03):
flies off laughing shit headed cowbird. So I love birds,
and I love that book, and I've already laughed at
some of my favorite birds. So thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
We got Bailey and I both got a little gift
card to where she works, so thanks to that. And
then I also got a Patina gift card, which she
wrote in my card card saying she shopped at Patina
for like an hour, picked up like sixteen things, couldn't
figure out what I'd actually like, so she said, f it,
I'm just going to give her a gift card.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
I got a cat hair remover thing, which is exciting.
I mean, I know that doesn't sound exciting, but it's
cute because it's like wood in and it looks like
a little cat and I have cat hair all over everything.
Maybe I can use it on my shirt right now.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Se if it works, probably will hazards of owing Nikki.
Thank you, Bree. We love you so much. She is
just the sweetest person. Email kicking off the podcast right now.
What we do on the podcast, if you're new here,
is we read emails and then sometimes we get up
on tangents and we just kind of like free wheeling
and it's just a it's a very fun thing to do.

(01:59):
We just love it and people respond to it. I'm
gonna give a shout out to Tim. Yeah, this is
a sad story. And I found out this morning, Bailey,
maybe it's your story rather than my story.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
So Tim listens to the show, I mean the Dave
Ryan Show regular and he listens to the Minnesota Goodbye.
He was at our live podcast recording. If you were there,
you probably saw him. He sat in the front. He
has an oxygen.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Tube and older guy, probably sixty five ish.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, And he and I were like theater friends. And
I met him through the station and we would talk
about theater and we would go see plays and things together.
And he died on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Isn't that sad and shocking? I remember him. He was
up front, he was over on my right hand side,
near the wall, and he's just smiling and nodding, very supportive. Yeah,
and then you told me this morning that. Then here
it is not even two weeks later and he's gone.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
Yeah, And I'm really sad. I mean, he was really ill,
and like he knew he was. He didn't have like
a ton of time, but he was always like planning
for the next thing, And I mean mostly all we
really talked about was theater. But we had tickets to
see Improv last week and he couldn't go, so he
gave me his ticket. And then yesterday I was at

(03:13):
the Improv show again and wanted to reach out to
him to tell him that I was thinking about him
and that I wished he was there. And his son
had posted on his Instagram saying that he had died
on Tuesday. So I'm really sad, but I'll be okay.
It's like I didn't know him that well, but like
he's still he meant something to me. So shout out
to Tim.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Well, this is just so sad to think in that
room of like eighty or one hundred people that like
one of them now is gone. So rip Tim. I
didn't know you well, but thank Tim in spirit.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
He's great.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Hey, Hey, says Anna. I had to write in with
a horrible and gross story. Now this was a mood booster.
I'm finishing my basement. Needed to tear down some h bac.
You'll never guess what I found. I pulled down part
of the system a small rubbery thing fell on the
floor my child's feet. Immediately I knew what it was,
A very old, used tied up condom, three of them
to be exact, and an open wrapper from the twenty tens.

(04:08):
Now I'm terrified to touch anything else down there. I
was mortified. I still am, obviously. I know people lived
in my home before me, but to know that people
were doing the nasty where my children are currently playing
is just too much. How many barf emojis can I
use in one email? Jenny, be aware of what you
might find as you continue to update your home, and
wear gloves and maybe a face shield too, so nothing

(04:29):
falls on your face of cosse.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Good note.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
May your Christmas be wonderful and full of not sticky,
gross surprises. I gotta figure it was probably like a
teenager banging the boyfriend downstairs and then hiding the condoms
because you can't throw them in the trash because mom
or dad will find them. Yeah, because the only reason
to hide a condom is you don't want somebody to
find it. Because most people use a condom, they flush

(04:54):
it or they throw it in the trash your pipes.
People flush condoms all the time. The things that people flush.
I've talked to plumbers and it's like yeah, but yeah,
so it was obviously some young people that were down
there doing their thing.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
I have a story, and I'm I might get in
trouble if somebody hears this, but I don't fucking care.
So obviously I have two sisters, and one of them
lived in the basement at one point in time because
her and I shared a room and she was sick
of it. She's like, fuck it, I'm making my own room.
And she had a boyfriend in high school and whatever.
They'd hang out, all that stuff whatever. My mom sends
a picture one day. The basement has those ceiling tiles

(05:32):
I just kind of easily pop off, yeah you know
what I mean, of course, and her cat goes up
in them. So she's looking for her cat one day
and finds them up in this one ceiling tile and
goes to grab them. Sends a picture and like in
the background, it's definitely a used condom.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Oh my god, Oh no.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
That definitely was from I'm like back in the day,
like fifteen and twenty is years prior.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
But it wasn't your sister's, it was somebody else. It
was your no, I think it was.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
One of my sisters. But I did tell that story
on air one time, like many moons ago, and that
sister got very upset with me, so I don't think
she'll ever hear this. But you don't know which one.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
It is one of two.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Next one Happy Holiday's Morning Crew fellow staff writer Dara
or Dara here, I'm not sure. A couple of days
ago on the podcast, somebody asked for things to do
near Albert Lee. While in Blue Earth there is the
tall Jolly Green Giant statue in museum. It's there because
there is, or used to be a large facility for
green giant canning. About thirty minutes from Albert Lee. There's

(06:37):
a cave close by called Mystery Cave, but a little
farther in Harmony, Minnesota is Niagara Cave. That's nice. I've
heard of both of those, and the boy Scouts went
down to one of them, and I don't remember each one.
They have a lot of homish stores, tours and things
to do there. Also quick question for me, totally separate topic,
different topic regarding Christmas wish. Do you have a minimum
or maximum amouth that you spend on each wish or

(06:59):
Is it really just down to the need of each
specific wish, Yes, the latter. It is really about the
need of each specific wish, and sometimes people don't need
something in particular, they just need cheering up and they
need to ease the burden a little bit. So I
would say each wish averages two thousand dollars average, But

(07:20):
then again, that might not include if there's a six
hundred dollar High V gift card or one thousand dollars
match from Treasure Island, or I think six' five one
carpets through in you, know three thousand dollars worth of.
Carpeting SO i would say around two thousand, dollars but
we don't really, say, well if it's over two thousand,
dollars we can't do. It next One francis writes in

(07:43):
Reaching out to SAY i love listening to the live.
Show it is still available on the podcast App. iHeart
i'm writing with a, question have you heard From Ranger jessica? Recently,
NO i feel like it's been months Since i've heard
her Fun nature facts and that was one of my
favorite parts of the. SHOW i hope all well with.
Her Happy holidays to my favorite podcast and morning show

(08:03):
crew From. Franny, NO i, haven't AND i hope that everything's.
Okay i'm going to guess that she probably it's probably
hard to come up with a, palatable easy fun.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Fact, yeah you, KNOW i mean in the, wintertime nature's really.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Quiet, well there's a fun fact right there. There you, go,
mean thank your nature's really. Quiet it. Is BUT i
heard something this, Morning. Bailey so in In in they
do this thing with The Autabon society where it's called
The Great American Bird count or, something and it goes
on for a month Of december And january and they

(08:37):
have people go out and tally. Birds you can sit
in your living room window and count the birds and
that you see and blah blah. Blah we have lost
since nineteen Seventy guess what fraction of birds In america
we have lost that are no longer? Here what fraction of?
Birds so one percent would mean we've lost every? Bird,
yeah fifty percent means we've lost half of the. Birds what?

(08:59):
Fraction and do you think we've lost three exactly? Right,
yes really one third of all? Birds, wow in the
last fifty five. Years what habitat? Loss? Mostly? Wow because
what are we? Doing we're building we're plowing. UP i,
mean you think of a town, like what Did Dazzle
cocado look like in nineteen? SEVENTY i have no idea

(09:21):
what Did victoria look like in nineteen, Seventy what Did
wabashaw look like in nineteen. Seventy, well now it's filled
with walmarts and costcos and coals and targets and quick
trips and all. That and we're all guilty of. It
we're all guilty of. It but it's taken away their.
Habitat so the, birds with nowhere to, go they die
one third of the. Birds that's. Awful, Yeah and building

(09:45):
is not slowing. Down we're building more and more and
more all the. Time i'm a, pilot and So i've
been flying for thirty, years AND i fly over towns
that used to be just little dots with a main
street and a couple of side, streets and now the
there's town homes and a target and akhals and a
bed bath and beyond and all the habitat is just.

(10:06):
Disappearing and it's not slowing. Down so in another fifty
years we'll probably lose another third or half of all.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Birds whoa honestly like not to get. Political i'm not
trying to make this, political but it is very frustrating
right now BECAUSE i know That utah senator is like
literally trying to dispose Of national park lands right. Now
he's like trying to get just this wording out of
different documents that says that they'll maintain federal lands so

(10:33):
then that can be open to being built up or
doing something around, it or building hotels and. Stuff and
that just makes me so so, sad.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Like can't we just leave it be for a little. Bit,
well people keep, fucking and that's the problem is people
keep fucking and people keep having. BABIES i would argue.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
That a lot of people actually in the millennial generation
are not because a lot of people are waiting.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
To, me but a lot of people. ARE i, mean
let's face. It sometimes you'll walk through the park and
there's a, family AND i can picture it. Now there's two,
women one is, pregnant there's a stroller with a, kid
there's four or five other. Kids and some people are
just they keep fucking and they keep having. Kids and
there are other people who are, like you, know have
like one point two, Children and you're, right a lot

(11:13):
of you, know, millennials they just are. Not but there's
a lot of, people let's face, it who. ARE i
don't know if the population or birth rate is going
up or, down BUT i mean we're all guilty of.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
It right, now going as far AS i.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Know are you? Googling?

Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yes but hold on because the internet's been such a brat. LATELY.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Whoa BUT i think that sometimes you look at somebody
Like chase And. Maddie they've got one, child they probably
won't have. Another, beth my daughter's got two. Children alison's
the record breaker in the, Family she's got three. Children
but a lot of people don't have, children and other
people will. Gladly who is that awful family that had
nineteen kids in? Counting, yeah and they thought it was

(11:57):
such a Great, NOVELTY i can't remember The.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Goslins, no That's Johnny kate plus. Eight oh, Yeah, OKAY
i don't.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
KNOW i, Know, okay you know WHAT i.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
KNOW i know who you're talking.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
About what do you find it?

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Out Jae it says THE us birth rate is generally going,
down hitting a record low fertility rate in twenty twenty,
four but the total number of birth saw a slight
increase recently due to more older women having. Children, okay
so fertility rate is going, down which is very, sad
but women are having children at older, ages SO i
think that that's kind of balancing that all. Out so

(12:28):
looks like it's about staying the.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Same, Yeah, okay let's see what else we got. Here
where do you guys get your winter jackets and pants?
From i'm in need of new winter clothes and all
the jackets and pants are hundreds of. Dollars what's the
best brand to spend your money? ON i don't. KNOW
i think mine Is columbia or North, face AND i

(12:49):
just get mine down At dick's or. Wherever i'm luckily
THAT i don't have to be too budget. Conscious BUT
i also don't buy a new coat very. OFTEN i
think my current coat is probably six or eight years.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Old, YEAH i still wear the same North face parka
right here THAT i burned tailgating At lambeau on a
heater AND i still love it to this. Day And
i've had it for like twenty, years and it was
probably three hundred, dollars not twenty, years but probably like
fifteen years at this. Point and it was expensive at the,
time but it has gotten its. Use, yeah BUT i
just recommended this to. Someone so many winter, coats Like

(13:21):
nice Winter, Coats columbia North, face all that stuff goes
on sale like right after the, Holidays SO i start
looking At macy's soon because they discount that shit like
fifty percent off Because i've always only ever bought winter
jackets After. Christmas CAN i should Get anoise on?

Speaker 3 (13:37):
SALE i should get a new ONE i. Got, honestly
all of mine are. Thrifted the one that is my
like super cold weather jacket THAT i. WEAR i heart
actually paid for this BECAUSE i went to girls' night
out and they lost my coat really really so maybe
it Wasn't. iHeart maybe it was the w hotel that
paid for it because they lost, it so, yeah it
was them who paid for. It but, YEAH i went

(13:58):
to a girl's night out like ten years ago AND
i had a coat that was literally thirty dollars coat From.
Costco went to go grab it at the end of
the night AND i was, like that's not my, Coat
and then they went grabbed a different coat that was
the same color and they're, like is this It, nope
that's not my coat. Either oh, well, sorry it looks
like we lost your. COAT i had to walk back
to my car without a coat on, NO i mean
really freezing. Snow, yeah it was. Snowing it was, cold

(14:22):
AND i was wearing a little bitty. Jacket but then
they they, said go and buy any coat that you,
need like reasonable, price and we'll pay for. It and
SO i Bought Eddie bauer with his like three hundred fifty.
Dollars this is.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Great one other Thing i'll just plug real. QUICK i
don't know where this person, lives But hoyguard's In Saint Louis.
Park they had they do like, ski, snowboard outdoor. Stuff
but they also have a lot of deals on jackets
a lot of times too throughout the, season so you
could check out there. TOO i do think it's worth
it to spend on a nicer brand because that shit
really does last a long, time, honestly but you can

(14:54):
find deals for.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Them When susan used to be the big bargain, shopper
you're jinny or one hundred percent. Right she would buy shit.
EVERYTHING i remember one time she bought a really cheap
couch and within weeks the cushions were mashed, in they
were concave and it was AND i, SAID i know
you tried to save money on this, couch but it is.
Shit and that is it's the Whole walmart. Factor the

(15:16):
walmartification Of america is really it's like the dollar storification Of.
America one of my favorite stories Is walmart Approached toro
years ago and, said we want you to build us
a lawnmower to sell for one hundred forty nine. Dollars
we want the price to be one hundred and forty
nine dollars so people can walk into A walmart and
buy a lawnmower for one hundred forty nine. Dollars And

(15:39):
toro researched and developed and they, said we cannot build
a good lawnmower for one hundred and forty nine. Dollars
if we, do it will break, down it will be.
Shit And walmart was happy to sell a shit. Lawnmower
that's why you don't buy a vacuum cleaner At. Walmart,
yeah you got to go to you, know LIKE i don't,
Know minards Or coal's or, somewhere Because walmart will sell you.

(16:01):
Shit you'll have a. Bargain same thing with a. Coat
you buy A walmart, coat go buy a coat over At. Target, yeah.
Okay last one that we have time for right now
is kind of a fun. ONE i want to chime
in on the star or angel on top of your.
TREE i don't have. EITHER i have a skull on
top of my. Tree picture. Attached my uncle says it's,

(16:23):
blasphemous but decorating the tree didn't or originate in The christian.
Religion it was originally a pagan. TRADITION i just smiled
at him when he said that it makes me happy
and that's all that should, matter your, Friend, BRITT i
agree with, You. BRITT i will say that we ran
into something. Yesterday what was. Interesting we do a bit
called The Little Airhorn, boy and maybe you've heard the
bit on our. Show we did it twenty or more years,

(16:43):
ago and it's, about you, know instead of The little
Drummer boy coming to the manger On Christmas, eve it's
The little Airhorn boy and he's, LIKE i don't have
any gifts to, give BUT i want to play this
for the Baby jesus herk And mary, like what the
fuck are you get? That goddamn? It who's blowing up fucking?

(17:03):
Air and it's very funny and somebody wrote in and they,
SAID i love you, guys but that was so blasphemous
and disrespectful To. CHRISTIANITY i really lost a lot of
respect for you. Guys AND i wrote him back AND i,
SAID i Think god gave us a rich sense of,
humor AND i totally totally Respect christianity in spite of
so many, people you, know Blasting. Christianity, NOW i totally love.

(17:24):
It IF i define myself as, anything it would be A.
Christian But i'm not a Good. Christian i'm a Terrible.
Christian BUT i BUT i will say THAT i respect her.
Opinion but at the same, TIME i think That god
gave us a sense of. Humor and we're just you,
know we're making fun of a little airhorn. Boy we're

(17:45):
not making fun Of. Jesus you, know we would never
be on and, like you, know do something disrespectful About
jesus because there are people who wouldn't like. That and
we want you to like our. Show do you like our?
Show what can we do to make you like? Us all,
right that's gonna do it for The Minnesota, goodbye have
a great weekend or whenever you listen to this, one

(18:06):
and we'll see you next. Time send an email if
you want to be on the. Show love to get
your email on the. Show Ryan's show AT kdwb dot.
Com