Should She Have a Wedding Five Years Later?

A listener and her partner got married in COVID and promised each other they'd eventually have a wedding. Now it's five years later and she's not sure she wants to still do it.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I've got a dilemma, and this is really interesting. It's
came in via email. Hey, warning show crew, this is
this one. I have a dilemma. My husband and I
got married during COVID, so we didn't have a real wedding.
We promised each other that when COVID cleared up, we'll
have a big, elaborate wedding. My mom bought a dress

(00:21):
for it, thinking, like a lot of us did, that
COVID wouldn't last very long. But now it's five years later,
they've got all this money saved up for this thirty
thousand dollars wedding. She says, I don't know if we
want to spend thirty thousand on a wedding. I know
our whole family wants to celebrate our love since they
didn't get to in twenty twenty. We can afford it.

(00:42):
We got the money saved up. But now the newness
of being married is kind of over. And that sounds awful,
but I get it. I get it completely. We've been
married five years. The honeymoon phase of being married is
gone and passed. We got one kid already, another one
on the way, So now I'm just in this dilemma
do we have the big wedding or not? What do

(01:02):
you think, jen.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh Man, I mean to have that amount of money
saved up and not be like hyped about having a
big wedding makes me feel like you should think about
something else you could do with that money that like
maybe celebrates you now as a family, because now you
do have a kid and you have another one in
the way. You said, so maybe use it to go
on the most extravagant family vacation. But yeah, when you

(01:26):
have young kids, I know that like traveling isn't really
like top of mind for you.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Oh yeah, so it's like, I don't know, Well, what
do you think as you're listening to the show, what
do you think that you would do? Would you like
you promised each other? Oh my god. So they'd probably
you know, plann their wedding for a couple of years,
who knows. Maybe it was June first of twenty twenty.
They're in the height of COVID. Well, COVID comes in,
you go or not get married with a big wedding

(01:52):
because we really can't. Nobody wants to come. So they
get married like you know, with a friend or the
courthouse or whatever, with the prom promised that when COVID
clears up, they will have the big thirty thousand dollars wedding.
Here's COVID cleared up. Everybody can be safe, and they're
not sure they want to spend the money on it.
I'm with you, Jenny. I would rather go on like

(02:13):
a big memorable cruise, have grandma watch the kids so
they get another one on the way. That's a problem. Yeah,
it depends on how on the way it is. You know,
is it doing like six days or six months.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
It doesn't sound like they've planned anything yet, so clearly,
like if you are planning a wedding, you're planning that
like a year out anyways. So realistically a trip in
a year or a wedding in a year both very
high possibilities. But you're definitely not going to go on
a cruise with a newborn.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
No, No, you be surprised.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Some people do it, and I don't think that they should,
but you know, you live your life. I guess I
think you should have the wedding man. And anything that
happened in COVID didn't really happen in my mind, because
COVID was such a just a weird a weird time,
and I mean, I'm glad you're content, but you deserve
the wedding.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
She sounds like she's not super hyped about it, though,
but I deserve it. I've never been married, so I
don't know what it's like to have those like first
few years of marriage where you're like so excited I'm
married whatever. Well most people are, who knows, But so
I don't know what that's like. But I could imagine that,
like five years down the road, I would be like, yeah,
I don't think I really need a wedding anymore.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
I would kind of agree with that. I think if
you're not excited about it to the point where you're
writing to katie' but you be in saying should I
have this, You're gonna find something more fun that you
want to do with that thirty thousand dollars point. I mean,
maybe it's like you know, I mean, something as simple
as a bathroom remodel or new kitchen, well, I don't
know how much that costs, but spend it on something fun.

(03:36):
Spend it on something that I mean that was meant
to be fun money. And I'm going to tell you
one more thing. You're saying that all your friends and
relatives wanted to celebrate your love with you and come
to your wedding. They've forgotten about it. I mean they've
not forgotten about it, but they're not sitting there going
God Whin or Grace and John, whatever your names are,
gonna have that wedding. We really want to set aside
a weekend and buy a crock pot. They're not. They

(03:59):
don't care. They love you, but they don't care. It's
five years too young to renew your vows. Maybe do
that and they make it a trip.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, a lot of people are saying, throw a big
party and then use.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
These text messages.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, via text messages. They should throw a big party
to celebrate, but then use the rest of the money
for yourselves where it's like a house or renovation or
a vacation or something like that. Bring your most loved
ones on a trip and hire a nanny for your kids,
whether you can kind of like enjoy it, enjoy time
with your loved ones, have the kids there, but also
probably be able to have some free time on your own.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
There's a text that says the only person that cares
is your mother because the mom bought the new dress.
Probably move on no wedding. Another text kind of sums
up what I think. Weddings are fun, but vacations are
more fun, and vacations last a week and a wedding
is done in six hours. Nothing wrong with a wedding.
Thirty thousand dollars spread out over a week is going

(04:55):
to be a lot more fun than thirty thousand dollars
spread out. I don't even know. Tell me the truth.
If you are a bride or a groom, did you
have fun at your wedding? Did you mean, be honest
with me, did you have fun at your wedding? Or
was it And I'm not trying to plan a seed,
but was it more stressful and hectic and just a
big rush of blur through the day.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah, it's a it's a real question because a lot
of people say when you plan a wedding, it's more
so for the people going to the wedding, because you know,
you're trying to make sure the music for them is good,
the food for them is good. Yeah, obviously to celebrate you.
Let's talk to Dan. He went through the same situation.
Dan's on the phone. Yeah, you can call it too,
six five, one, nine, eight nine KDWB.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
Hi Dan, Hey guys going good If you missed it.
There's a woman who wrote in she got married during COVID.
They had planned a big thirty thousand dollars wedding. They
didn't spend it because of COVID. Now they promised themselves
five years later when COVID was done, and now it's
completely safe to be out. But now she's like, I
got the money, I don't know if I want to
have a wedding or spend it on something else. What

(05:51):
do you think?

Speaker 4 (05:53):
Yeah, so me and my.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Wife we got we got fifteen thousand dollars and we
could have had a wedding or done whatever with it.
You had a wedding.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
It was great and awesome, but.

Speaker 5 (06:02):
The first and we always talk about we should have.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Just taken a fifteen grand and taken a two to
three week honeymoon, go to Ireland, go to the Bahamas,
something so trip came to mind right off the bat.
No problem, yeah, okay, and and no regrets, no regrets.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Dan, I think he is.

Speaker 5 (06:23):
Our wedding was great.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
But see what I see. You spent the money on
the wedding. I misunderstood that. So you spent the money,
on the wedding when you should have said let's go
to Ireland instead.

Speaker 5 (06:33):
Yeah, because now we have kids and we don't have money.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
So Dan, thanks for your advice. I appreciate that. Who
else We got on the phone and Marie, what do
you think would would this woman get married or should
she just spend it on a trip or something?

Speaker 4 (06:49):
I think, yeah, I think she should do what her inclients,
but which seems like going on a trip. We actually
were scheduled to get married in twenty twenty and had
to postpone everything. We still wanted to get married, so
we just showed up to a park with just like
our parents' siblings and got married and it was an
amazing day and it went perfect and it was so

(07:10):
much fun. And then we weren't able to get out
of our contract and we weren't going to get any
of our money back, so we ended up still having
our big wedding, and it was fun and I don't
regret it, but it did make me realize I wish
we would have done the first thing and maybe had
a smaller party with more of our friends, but not
necessarily the big, giant wedding we.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Ended up having. How many people. We wrote your big
giant wedding.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
There was two hundred invited, and I think with COVID
and rescheduling and everything, we had about one hundred and
fifty show up.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Still, that's a big good thank you. By the way,
one more call. We're gonna move on. We're gonna give
away boo bash. Take us to get to Jenny's been
on Reddit.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
And so I'm bring to carpet a keyword in the
second and spring Yes, Cole Morning Morning.

Speaker 5 (07:54):
So we got married during COVID and then later on
in twenty twenty we had a big like redo ceremony
and then a big reception and it was a blast.
It was so much fun. I was already married. I
had like a different dress, I looked cute. All our
friends and family were there. It was amazing.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
But my question for you is you got married like
pretty shortly, had the big wedding after you had just
gotten married. It's five years later. Would you want to
still do that five years later? Had you not done
that back in twenty twenty, I.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
Probably wouldn't though, Yeah, I would do something else. Yeah,
celebrate your family.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Are you still with that person you married?

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Jenny J.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
J Okay good, and I would probably do another reception
wedding type thing because it was really actually fun. Yeah,
but it does cost a lot of money, so to
do something that fits your life.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Now, I think, yeah, yeah, I think you know. The
question is she's got all this money for a wedding
that they postponed because of COVID. Should she use the
money for the ceremony or should she spend it on
something else because she's not that excited about a wedding
now text message, This one's harsh. Forget the wedding, nobody
cares anymore. Have a little party and then take a

(09:06):
trip or do something as a family. Another one, do
a family trip instead. Weddings are overrated. I got married
way before COVID. I did a JP wedding. What's that
JP wedding and a kick ass honeymoon. I'm not sure
what that means. All right, thanks for all that