December 2, 2025 • 13 mins
Nikki calls for Group Therapy because a new relationship she's in might be getting ready to love bomb her.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Dam Ryan Show. Okay, so we have Nikki on
the phone. He sent us an email about something that
kind of happened, a confrontation with her sister over Thanksgiving. So, Nikki,
what is going on with you for group therapy today? I?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, I've been single for about nine years, I would say,
and I've I've dated a bit here and there, but
I really haven't had a boyfriend for a while. And
then I met this guy and there was just this
really strong connection right off the bat, and I I
really think that he might be the one that I'm
going to marry. Okay, And it was It's kind of
(00:40):
like a whirlwind, you know. And he does like so
many really wonderful and kind things for me that I
really love.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Like what.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Well, like pretty much every time I see him, he
has some kind of like little gift for me, so
maybe like a candle or a Starbucks gift card. He
just really thoughtful. And he'll text me in the morning
a good morning, and every night he texted me good night,
and he'll say a lot of the time that we're
meant to be together. And we have a song he
(01:12):
sent me a buff Do you know that Savage Garden song?
I knew I loved you.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I think.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
This it's like I'm the nineties fall.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yeah that's the way, and back.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
And forth like okay, yeah, I love that song.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I love that song too, so he said, that's our song.
So so it's been going really, really great. But this
past week I went to my grandma's for Thanksgiving and
he was texting me a ton and I didn't really
think anything of it because that's how we normally communicate.
And he was texting me like, how are you what
are you eating? What's the best dessert? Are you watching
(01:53):
the football game? You know, stuff like that. And I
showed my sister because I thought it was really sweet.
And then my sister was like, this is love bombing.
It's not okay, you shouldn't see him anymore. And I
don't know. I was just kind of taken aback by that.
And I don't know if I'm naive, but this is
this dangerous?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Is it bad?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I don't know. I just thought he was being sweet.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
So you so you've been single for nine years now,
you think you found the one because he's doing all
these romantic things.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
But your sister thinks it's love bombing.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, She like, really she just made me feel really
bad about it, to be honest, and I thought it
was really so much interested in my day, in what
was going on. But she thinks it's love bombing.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
So my question is, you guys have been dating for
how long? This is new? Right?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah, we've it's been almost two months.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, So I mean it sounds like right off the bat, yeah,
you like had pretty strong feelings for him, but then
he jumped right into like what sounds like getting you
gifts and like kind of surprising you with sweet things.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
He sent her a song.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
But there are people already texting saying love bomb, love bomb.
Somebody said, I'm such a paranoid free but I'm hearing
love bombing.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Okay, So if you don't know what love bombing is,
it's basically when you start in a relationship and someone
goes like crazy with the affection, attention, gives gifts, stuff
like that. But it's more of like try and create
this emotional bond independence on the other person so that
the person doesn't leave.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Almost what's wrong with I hear what you're saying, But
what's wrong with me showing you affection?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Especially so early?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
That's when they call it the honeymoon phase, the cupcake phase,
when everything's like, Oh, I love you, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I think there's a line that can be drawn with
it where it's like, if you're getting a gift every
single time you see each other, and you guys are
seeing each other like four days out of the seven
of the week, then that's probably a little bit too
much because then you're just like going to get so
used to that. But we're we're curious to hear what
you have to say, if you want to give us
a call. Six five one nine eight nine, Katie w B. Basically,
(03:56):
what's going on is NICKI met this guy that she's
been dating for a couple of months, and right off
the bat she feels like they hit it off, and
then you know, he started doing a lot of sweet things,
giving her gifts pretty consistently. He texts her a lot.
He apparently says that the Savage Garden song is their song.
(04:16):
And then over Thanksgiving and her sister was like, Ah,
this dude is love bombing you. You need to like run,
So do you feel the same. You can give us
a call six y one nine y nine, katiew B.
We'd love to hear what you have to say and
if Nicky should run? First off is Alex on the phone? Hi, Hi,
Alex Hi.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
First of all, love you guys so much, love your
morning show, Love you back. And I think that this
is love bombing for sure. If it feels too good
to be true, then it is too good to be true.
It's like one thing to want to be together and
know how your day is going, but to be checking
in that frequently.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Its red flag?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
How is a red flag?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So, Alex, have you been in this position before?
Speaker 5 (04:57):
I have?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Okay, toxic and think about like longevity of this. You
cannot be checking in with each other this much twenty
four to seven?
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
So? What what do you feel like was toxic with yours?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
How did yours end? Was it a matter of like
you did start to become like dependent on him or her?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
No, not dependent at all. I felt like there was
more space that needed to be had and I wasn't
getting it. And I feel like you've got to be
able to be your own person and have your person.
You can't rely on the other person to the extent
that he's relying on her for happiness.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It seems so.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Then I'm assuming you ended the relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Oh yeah, many years ago, married, now two kids, okay,
drop off, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Got it, got it? Okay. So Alex, you're saying it's
love bombing and you think Nikki should stay get out
of it. What do you think?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I think she seek it out of it. She's happy,
she's happy, but if she has to be able to
return that energy for the.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Rest of her life.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And yeah, I don't underto it.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I don't get how.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
There's so many I'm not even gonna just say women.
There are so many people that crave for a man
or a woman or anybody to give them everything on
the planet. I am one of those people that I
love to give my girlfriend a list of the world.
We've been together going on four years, but me going
above and beyond, and you guys have had to talk
me down about buying fifteen things just because she had
a bad day.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That when you started dating her, were you constantly showing
up and giving her a gift every single time you
saw her?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Not a gift, but I was definitely on my p's
and q's because I had to show her that that's
what I wanted in life.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Yeah, I wanted her.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I just think that there is a clear difference between
me interested in showing interest and love bombing. There is
a difference. There is manipulation when it comes to love bombing,
where you are literally getting that person so hooked on
you that you can then potentially manipulate them later in
the relationship. You were not doing that. You were being sweet,
you were doing kind things for Alyssa. And now you're
(06:44):
at a different phase in your life where maybe you
do all of these things that Nikki is saying, but
you guys are in a serious relationship and you've gotten
to that point.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
I guess the only difference is, yeah, Nikki's case that
this is very, very fresh. I don't know how much
I was doing compared to this guy because it was
four years ago.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
But he texting us that sounds called dependent. No, I'm
just a lover.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Vond is a lover. Here. We got some more people
on the phone. LeRoy's on the phone, Lera, What do
you want to say about this group therapy?
Speaker 6 (07:09):
I think that if it is love bombing is just
a definition that people want to put on it.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You can't.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
You're not a doctor about it. So if she likes it,
she likes it. Maybe her sister needs to relax and
stay out her business because we're all grown ups. And
that's the problem in as well. We're in each other's
business too much and we're doing things.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Okay, Is it fair, though, to be in your sister's business,
because I think I would probably be in my sister's
business if I was concerned.
Speaker 6 (07:35):
No, I really don't think it is fair to be
in people's business because you don't have a clue what's
going on in that man's mind, and you might not
have a clue what's going on in your sisters.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Just because he's.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
Buying things, don't mean he's trying to love bombers.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah, I mean, I just.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Think people stay in everybody's business way too much. It's
become a norm.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Clearra. You don't think that it was a little bit
too much for him to say that this is their song?
Speaker 6 (07:56):
Oh no, maybe he actually felt like that. And that's
what I'm saying. You don't really have a clue on
what people are feeling, so you can't put him in
a box. Yeah what's going on? You got to let
him live their life.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Okay, I mean that's a different take on it. I
appreciate you, Lee, right, Thanks so much for calling in.
We also have Francisco on the phone. Francisco, Nikki got
into a new relationship. She's been seeing this guy. He
gives her a lot of guests, he texts her pretty often,
and now he already says that they have the song
by Savage Garden. What do you think Francisco has this
love bombing? Should she run like her sister says or
(08:28):
stick it out? Yes?
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Hi, Good morning Jenny, Good morning bond. What First off,
I want to tell Nikki if she is listening, I'm
just speaking from my experience.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Yes, I think that's important.
Speaker 7 (08:41):
He wants you to know that from my experience. When
I first met my wife, we first started talking, I
knew what I wanted in life, and she fits a
lot of those things. Well think work. It's more, I
(09:01):
saw a lot of these characteristics in her, and from
the beginning I knew I loved that about her and
I appreciated that. So I made sure in the beginning
right away to inform her and let her know that
this is how I'm feeling, this is what I wanted.
And at the end of the day, it worked out
(09:23):
because she felt the same way and she reciprocated the
feet at the end of the day. You know, it's
really up to you the way you're feeling, Nikki, and
it's really it's your life at the end of the day.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Yeah, it's your love language, and I think the relationship
that you develop with your partner. There's so many text
messages coming in. A lot of people agree with that
last call of Leeroy. Some other people are saying this
love bombing stuff is crazy. You can text five three,
nine to one. By the way, love bombing stuff is crazy.
Let people be kind and loving and have communication. I've
been in a relationship for four years and I expect
this type of communication and being spoiled for my boyfriend,
(09:58):
and he loves doing that. Let be happy, and that's
all I'm saying. I don't know what Nikki and this
guy have agreed on. I just don't see the problem
with continuing to show your partner affection. And it's only
been two months, so we have to see how much
longer this develops.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I agree. I think though, on the flip side of things,
is like, you've never been in a position before to
have been love bombed where someone has completely like turned
the table on you out of nowhere after they just
showed you all of this like emotional connection, and then
out of nowhere, they're like just kidding. So like, there
is people who have experienced actual love bombing, and so
(10:33):
they are scarred from that, and they don't want this
girl to get hurt the way that they did. I
know someone I'm very close with who got love bombed
reala recently and it broke her. And I literally like
I wanted to just shake that person, because how dare
you pretend like you like someone so much and do
kind things for them and then just be like it
(10:54):
psych just kidding and then like leave.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 5 (10:57):
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I'm just saying
we can't jump the concludion it's only been two months
of this guy doing this stuff, for sure.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I mean, obviously we don't know what their relationship actually
is like between the two of them. We are basing
this off of a two minute conversation with Nikki, but
I think her sister's looking out for her. If you
missed it, Nikki basically was that Thanksgiving and she was
telling her sister about how this new guy she's been
seeing he was texting her like pretty consistently asking her
a million questions throughout Thanksgiving, and he also gives her
(11:24):
a lot of gifts. He already has a song for them,
and her sister was like, that's love bombing and it's
you should run. It's not okay. But yeah, so we've
had quite a few texts. We'll do one more phone
call and we're gonna wrap this up. We have Lisa
on the phone. Hi, Lisa, Hi, what did you want
to say about group therapy?
Speaker 8 (11:42):
I just went to the same thing. I start of
seeing some guy.
Speaker 6 (11:47):
He got me.
Speaker 8 (11:47):
Roses, he told me he loved me, he sent me
texts all the time. But then after like a month
and a half, I started turning really bad.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
He was rude to me.
Speaker 8 (11:57):
I felt a kindom of lies. I'm like, it was horrible.
But this guy that she's seeing isn't doing like, isn't lying,
is still sweet, It's okay with being apart from her
and not trying to move in or anything like that.
I'd tell her to take take her chances.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah, so you've even experienced it and you're saying, still,
maybe do it, but just be cautious because obviously, like
it turned for you, it turned into a pretty negative
situation for you.
Speaker 8 (12:25):
Yes, very bad. Like it's like roses little sweet, nothing's
always pain. I'm like to a complete listening to flying
to me you want to And because they couldn't move in,
he threw a big fit. He talked badly about me
to a friends and family and like that was like
a true case of love bombing. But if this guy
(12:47):
is still doing the things for her and it's not
fighting with her and not saying bad things about her,
and it's still perfect, and I tell her to take
my chances of okay, I like that.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I mean, we've gotten a lot of different things and
so many text messages that have come in. We can
read a couple of these, but then we'll wrap up.
Love Bombing is mostly applied when one person feels like
they're about to lose the other person, not in the
first phases. Someone says, someone else says, I'm a therapist.
And people who say love bombing is so great and
just one way of showing affection don't truly understand what
(13:20):
love bombing is. People who are bombing do not like boundaries.
So she could test it by setting a small limit
and seeing how he reacts, and if he gets upset
then that it would be her sign to run, and
that comes from a therapist.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Yeah, we just don't We don't know if they set boundaries,
or if she's okay with it or what because she
has been fine with it. I'm just saying we cannot
put the we cannot jump the conclusion and say that
he's love bombing, because if that's the case, anytime anybody
shows any affection in a relationship, but we jump to that,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
You'll probably be single for a while.
The Dam Ryan Show. Okay, so we have Nikki on
the phone. He sent us an email about something that
kind of happened, a confrontation with her sister over Thanksgiving. So, Nikki,
what is going on with you for group therapy today? I?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Well, I've been single for about nine years, I would say,
and I've I've dated a bit here and there, but
I really haven't had a boyfriend for a while. And
then I met this guy and there was just this
really strong connection right off the bat, and I I
really think that he might be the one that I'm
going to marry. Okay, And it was It's kind of
(00:40):
like a whirlwind, you know. And he does like so
many really wonderful and kind things for me that I
really love.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Like what.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Well, like pretty much every time I see him, he
has some kind of like little gift for me, so
maybe like a candle or a Starbucks gift card. He
just really thoughtful. And he'll text me in the morning
a good morning, and every night he texted me good night,
and he'll say a lot of the time that we're
meant to be together. And we have a song he
(01:12):
sent me a buff Do you know that Savage Garden song?
I knew I loved you.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I think.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
This it's like I'm the nineties fall.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yeah that's the way, and back.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
And forth like okay, yeah, I love that song.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I love that song too, so he said, that's our song.
So so it's been going really, really great. But this
past week I went to my grandma's for Thanksgiving and
he was texting me a ton and I didn't really
think anything of it because that's how we normally communicate.
And he was texting me like, how are you what
are you eating? What's the best dessert? Are you watching
(01:53):
the football game? You know, stuff like that. And I
showed my sister because I thought it was really sweet.
And then my sister was like, this is love bombing.
It's not okay, you shouldn't see him anymore. And I
don't know. I was just kind of taken aback by that.
And I don't know if I'm naive, but this is
this dangerous?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Is it bad?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I don't know. I just thought he was being sweet.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
So you so you've been single for nine years now,
you think you found the one because he's doing all
these romantic things.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
But your sister thinks it's love bombing.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, She like, really she just made me feel really
bad about it, to be honest, and I thought it
was really so much interested in my day, in what
was going on. But she thinks it's love bombing.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
So my question is, you guys have been dating for
how long? This is new? Right?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah, we've it's been almost two months.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, So I mean it sounds like right off the bat, yeah,
you like had pretty strong feelings for him, but then
he jumped right into like what sounds like getting you
gifts and like kind of surprising you with sweet things.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
He sent her a song.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
But there are people already texting saying love bomb, love bomb.
Somebody said, I'm such a paranoid free but I'm hearing
love bombing.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Okay, So if you don't know what love bombing is,
it's basically when you start in a relationship and someone
goes like crazy with the affection, attention, gives gifts, stuff
like that. But it's more of like try and create
this emotional bond independence on the other person so that
the person doesn't leave.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Almost what's wrong with I hear what you're saying, But
what's wrong with me showing you affection?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Especially so early?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
That's when they call it the honeymoon phase, the cupcake phase,
when everything's like, Oh, I love you, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I think there's a line that can be drawn with
it where it's like, if you're getting a gift every
single time you see each other, and you guys are
seeing each other like four days out of the seven
of the week, then that's probably a little bit too
much because then you're just like going to get so
used to that. But we're we're curious to hear what
you have to say, if you want to give us
a call. Six five one nine eight nine, Katie w B. Basically,
(03:56):
what's going on is NICKI met this guy that she's
been dating for a couple of months, and right off
the bat she feels like they hit it off, and
then you know, he started doing a lot of sweet things,
giving her gifts pretty consistently. He texts her a lot.
He apparently says that the Savage Garden song is their song.
(04:16):
And then over Thanksgiving and her sister was like, Ah,
this dude is love bombing you. You need to like run,
So do you feel the same. You can give us
a call six y one nine y nine, katiew B.
We'd love to hear what you have to say and
if Nicky should run? First off is Alex on the phone? Hi, Hi,
Alex Hi.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
First of all, love you guys so much, love your
morning show, Love you back. And I think that this
is love bombing for sure. If it feels too good
to be true, then it is too good to be true.
It's like one thing to want to be together and
know how your day is going, but to be checking
in that frequently.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Its red flag?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
How is a red flag?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So, Alex, have you been in this position before?
Speaker 5 (04:57):
I have?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Okay, toxic and think about like longevity of this. You
cannot be checking in with each other this much twenty
four to seven?
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
So? What what do you feel like was toxic with yours?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
How did yours end? Was it a matter of like
you did start to become like dependent on him or her?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
No, not dependent at all. I felt like there was
more space that needed to be had and I wasn't
getting it. And I feel like you've got to be
able to be your own person and have your person.
You can't rely on the other person to the extent
that he's relying on her for happiness.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It seems so.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Then I'm assuming you ended the relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Oh yeah, many years ago, married, now two kids, okay,
drop off, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Got it, got it? Okay. So Alex, you're saying it's
love bombing and you think Nikki should stay get out
of it. What do you think?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I think she seek it out of it. She's happy,
she's happy, but if she has to be able to
return that energy for the.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Rest of her life.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And yeah, I don't underto it.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I don't get how.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
There's so many I'm not even gonna just say women.
There are so many people that crave for a man
or a woman or anybody to give them everything on
the planet. I am one of those people that I
love to give my girlfriend a list of the world.
We've been together going on four years, but me going
above and beyond, and you guys have had to talk
me down about buying fifteen things just because she had
a bad day.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That when you started dating her, were you constantly showing
up and giving her a gift every single time you
saw her?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Not a gift, but I was definitely on my p's
and q's because I had to show her that that's
what I wanted in life.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Yeah, I wanted her.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I just think that there is a clear difference between
me interested in showing interest and love bombing. There is
a difference. There is manipulation when it comes to love bombing,
where you are literally getting that person so hooked on
you that you can then potentially manipulate them later in
the relationship. You were not doing that. You were being sweet,
you were doing kind things for Alyssa. And now you're
(06:44):
at a different phase in your life where maybe you
do all of these things that Nikki is saying, but
you guys are in a serious relationship and you've gotten
to that point.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
I guess the only difference is, yeah, Nikki's case that
this is very, very fresh. I don't know how much
I was doing compared to this guy because it was
four years ago.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
But he texting us that sounds called dependent. No, I'm
just a lover.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Vond is a lover. Here. We got some more people
on the phone. LeRoy's on the phone, Lera, What do
you want to say about this group therapy?
Speaker 6 (07:09):
I think that if it is love bombing is just
a definition that people want to put on it.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You can't.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
You're not a doctor about it. So if she likes it,
she likes it. Maybe her sister needs to relax and
stay out her business because we're all grown ups. And
that's the problem in as well. We're in each other's
business too much and we're doing things.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Okay, Is it fair, though, to be in your sister's business,
because I think I would probably be in my sister's
business if I was concerned.
Speaker 6 (07:35):
No, I really don't think it is fair to be
in people's business because you don't have a clue what's
going on in that man's mind, and you might not
have a clue what's going on in your sisters.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Just because he's.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
Buying things, don't mean he's trying to love bombers.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah, I mean, I just.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Think people stay in everybody's business way too much. It's
become a norm.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Clearra. You don't think that it was a little bit
too much for him to say that this is their song?
Speaker 6 (07:56):
Oh no, maybe he actually felt like that. And that's
what I'm saying. You don't really have a clue on
what people are feeling, so you can't put him in
a box. Yeah what's going on? You got to let
him live their life.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Okay, I mean that's a different take on it. I
appreciate you, Lee, right, Thanks so much for calling in.
We also have Francisco on the phone. Francisco, Nikki got
into a new relationship. She's been seeing this guy. He
gives her a lot of guests, he texts her pretty often,
and now he already says that they have the song
by Savage Garden. What do you think Francisco has this
love bombing? Should she run like her sister says or
(08:28):
stick it out? Yes?
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Hi, Good morning Jenny, Good morning bond. What First off,
I want to tell Nikki if she is listening, I'm
just speaking from my experience.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Yes, I think that's important.
Speaker 7 (08:41):
He wants you to know that from my experience. When
I first met my wife, we first started talking, I
knew what I wanted in life, and she fits a
lot of those things. Well think work. It's more, I
(09:01):
saw a lot of these characteristics in her, and from
the beginning I knew I loved that about her and
I appreciated that. So I made sure in the beginning
right away to inform her and let her know that
this is how I'm feeling, this is what I wanted.
And at the end of the day, it worked out
(09:23):
because she felt the same way and she reciprocated the
feet at the end of the day. You know, it's
really up to you the way you're feeling, Nikki, and
it's really it's your life at the end of the day.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Yeah, it's your love language, and I think the relationship
that you develop with your partner. There's so many text
messages coming in. A lot of people agree with that
last call of Leeroy. Some other people are saying this
love bombing stuff is crazy. You can text five three,
nine to one. By the way, love bombing stuff is crazy.
Let people be kind and loving and have communication. I've
been in a relationship for four years and I expect
this type of communication and being spoiled for my boyfriend,
(09:58):
and he loves doing that. Let be happy, and that's
all I'm saying. I don't know what Nikki and this
guy have agreed on. I just don't see the problem
with continuing to show your partner affection. And it's only
been two months, so we have to see how much
longer this develops.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I agree. I think though, on the flip side of things,
is like, you've never been in a position before to
have been love bombed where someone has completely like turned
the table on you out of nowhere after they just
showed you all of this like emotional connection, and then
out of nowhere, they're like just kidding. So like, there
is people who have experienced actual love bombing, and so
(10:33):
they are scarred from that, and they don't want this
girl to get hurt the way that they did. I
know someone I'm very close with who got love bombed
reala recently and it broke her. And I literally like
I wanted to just shake that person, because how dare
you pretend like you like someone so much and do
kind things for them and then just be like it
(10:54):
psych just kidding and then like leave.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 5 (10:57):
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I'm just saying
we can't jump the concludion it's only been two months
of this guy doing this stuff, for sure.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I mean, obviously we don't know what their relationship actually
is like between the two of them. We are basing
this off of a two minute conversation with Nikki, but
I think her sister's looking out for her. If you
missed it, Nikki basically was that Thanksgiving and she was
telling her sister about how this new guy she's been
seeing he was texting her like pretty consistently asking her
a million questions throughout Thanksgiving, and he also gives her
(11:24):
a lot of gifts. He already has a song for them,
and her sister was like, that's love bombing and it's
you should run. It's not okay. But yeah, so we've
had quite a few texts. We'll do one more phone
call and we're gonna wrap this up. We have Lisa
on the phone. Hi, Lisa, Hi, what did you want
to say about group therapy?
Speaker 8 (11:42):
I just went to the same thing. I start of
seeing some guy.
Speaker 6 (11:47):
He got me.
Speaker 8 (11:47):
Roses, he told me he loved me, he sent me
texts all the time. But then after like a month
and a half, I started turning really bad.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
He was rude to me.
Speaker 8 (11:57):
I felt a kindom of lies. I'm like, it was horrible.
But this guy that she's seeing isn't doing like, isn't lying,
is still sweet, It's okay with being apart from her
and not trying to move in or anything like that.
I'd tell her to take take her chances.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah, so you've even experienced it and you're saying, still,
maybe do it, but just be cautious because obviously, like
it turned for you, it turned into a pretty negative
situation for you.
Speaker 8 (12:25):
Yes, very bad. Like it's like roses little sweet, nothing's
always pain. I'm like to a complete listening to flying
to me you want to And because they couldn't move in,
he threw a big fit. He talked badly about me
to a friends and family and like that was like
a true case of love bombing. But if this guy
(12:47):
is still doing the things for her and it's not
fighting with her and not saying bad things about her,
and it's still perfect, and I tell her to take
my chances of okay, I like that.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I mean, we've gotten a lot of different things and
so many text messages that have come in. We can
read a couple of these, but then we'll wrap up.
Love Bombing is mostly applied when one person feels like
they're about to lose the other person, not in the
first phases. Someone says, someone else says, I'm a therapist.
And people who say love bombing is so great and
just one way of showing affection don't truly understand what
(13:20):
love bombing is. People who are bombing do not like boundaries.
So she could test it by setting a small limit
and seeing how he reacts, and if he gets upset
then that it would be her sign to run, and
that comes from a therapist.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Yeah, we just don't We don't know if they set boundaries,
or if she's okay with it or what because she
has been fine with it. I'm just saying we cannot
put the we cannot jump the conclusion and say that
he's love bombing, because if that's the case, anytime anybody
shows any affection in a relationship, but we jump to that,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
You'll probably be single for a while.
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