April 15, 2025 • 14 mins
We talk to Shawna, who just lost her boyfriend last week and is dealing with the grief.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Shauna is on the phone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Shawna wrote us an email and we said, Hey, Shawna,
would you like to be on the radio to talk
about this, and so maybe we can get a little
bit more helpful. We can be more helpful if we're
able to talk to you specifically in person.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Hi, Shawna, Hi, good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hey, thanks for being on. And I know this is
a very difficult thing for you to talk about, but
I hope we can help you out. And the thing
about group therapy is that if we can't help you
on the show, there are other people who are listening
that might be able to give you some advice or
words of wisdom. Tell me what you're struggling with right now, Shauna.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
My boyfriend just out of the blue, unexpectedly passed away
last Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Last Tuesday, so one week ago. And this was I mean,
as far as you knew, he was, you know, at
least moderately healthy to very healthy. And then and then
just kind of like I mean, you don't have to
give a lot of details, but one minute he was there,
and and then and then he was gone pretty much yep, yep.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
He works early mornings. Always said good night Monday night.
I sent him a message on Tuesdays say and good
morning babies and panhard from him. So his coworker stopped
over when he did shop from work and found him.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Wow, and he was gone, yeah, gone, And he was young,
thirty seven, Yeah, and so just devastating because this was
this was your person and just in a in a
blink and you'd you know it, you just you described
it in your email as just you're just kind of
(01:41):
lost and don't know what to do. But I don't
want to put words in your mouth tell me how
you're feelings.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Ye're exactly right. It's it's a fog that I'm just
kind of sucking. Yeah, to move forward, I just don't
know how. I can't. I'm just lost right now.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I can't even imagine.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So the what you would like some help with is
just how do you what do you do next? Have
you had people to talk to, your mom, your sister,
your cousin, anybody like that.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Yeah, my parents actually live in Florida, So my mom
came up this last week and spend it with me.
I've talked to his family every day since. You know, friends, family,
everybody has been there. But this is such a niche thing.
That nobody has really gone through themselves. So they're just
saying the nice words that they can, but they don't
(02:38):
really know what.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
More to do for me.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And I think that's kind of the thing, is people
don't People want to help, but they don't know what
to say, right And sometimes because people don't know what
to say, they kind of avoid somebody who has lost someone, yeah,
because they don't know what to say. I think that
you know, if you live long enough, you're going to
lose somebody suddenly on ex expectively in your life, whether
(03:02):
it's a friend, whether it's a coworker, whether it's a
family member, whether it's a partner or whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And I don't even know what to say.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But because you can't diminish it by saying, hey, it's
something everybody goes through, that doesn't make it any easier.
It's kind of like, you know, as simply, as simply
and totally different as when my dog died, it's something
everybody has been through and everybody is sympathetic, but at
the same time, and this is I mean, on a
much bigger level, this was your person. And I think
(03:32):
I think one of the things is you didn't get
a chance to say.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Goodbye exactly.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Have you had did you like plan a funeral for him?
Or has he had one yet?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Or are you going to a funeral?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Is Saturday?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Is Saturday?
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Okay, See, it's not that like a funerals necessarily like
you need to have it. But I know that that's
all like usually a good moment of closure, even though
he was like taken so suddenly that like I don't know,
maybe a funeral and being there and being able to
like talk about him with other people who knew him
and kind of celebrate where like his life in general
could be at least partially helpful in closing a chapter
(04:13):
sort of, But like it's never happened to me either,
So I struggle with giving advice.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I think whatever you feel is normal. That's how
you feel, and it is a process and it's not
something you can just get over. I don't think that
one day you wake up and go, yeah, okay, I
don't know what's.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
It's a long time of like healing to like get
used to probably this new life without him.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But you're never going to.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
Get over this loss.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It's just moving on with your life.
Speaker 6 (04:45):
Like some person said, I lost a partner in my
child's dad. I strongly recommend a grief camp. It was
active based counseling with others in similar situations, and I
could send I could send you on if you want
to know about it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
They said, let us talk to Danielle. We got some
phone calls about this one. So basically it's Shauna, Shauna
is I'm going to get You're around the same age
that he was when he passed. She lost her boyfriend
like out of the blue, said good night to him
on Monday. Tuesday, he didn't show up for work, so
a coworker went by and he was gone. And so
Shawna is just lost and you don't know. And I'm
sure that is there a little part of you, Shauna
(05:21):
that this like for an instant, your mind will say
I need to call.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Him every day.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
There's int like when my dad died, it took a
long time to get past the I need to call
him and see how he's doing, which is totally doesn't
make any sense. But you want to call him and
talk to him and say what happened. And that's normal too.
Danielle is on the phone, Danielle, help us out here.
Shauna is going through some stuff. And she's lost. What
do you want to say, well.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Being someone who was widowed at a very young age,
at the age of twenty six, is you're going to
you're stone shocked and that fog right now, that's your
body's natural response to the trauma that's happened. Don't make
any big decisions, giant decisions right now about your life
and what you're going to do and everything like that.
You just need to start by taking things minute by minute,
(06:14):
hour by hour to day by day. I really highly
suggest there are support groups out there for.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
This.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
There's lots of great books on dealing with grief and loss,
but one of the things that really helped me was
just going for walks in nature and kind.
Speaker 7 (06:33):
Of just allowing myself to be present in that moment,
and it helped me kind.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Of work through my grief. So just taking things well
right now, don't make any hasty decisions because you're you're
in shock right now. It's going to take some time
to pull yourself out of that. But just slowly going
for locks, taking things day by day, you know, that's
going to be the best part in finding the support
(06:58):
group out there.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, I think a lot of people are saying support
groups or grief counseling. We have a grief counselor on
the phone. Well, gets her in a second. And I
know this is a little bit incongruent if you want
to say that, but I got to give you the
keyword because there are people listening right now who are
expecting that keyword now. Good to be respectful of your time.
So the keyword right now is squabble. That keyword just
use the talk back feature and use the word squabble
(07:20):
to say the keyword is squabble. You're good to go,
So go do that, and we're going to get to
the grief counselor right now. Brittany, Hey, thanks for listening.
I'm glad you were here this morning to help us
out with this one on group therapy. What would you
say to Shawna she's listening right now, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Good morning, Shawna.
Speaker 7 (07:38):
So the biggest thing, I mean, obviously validating where you're at.
This is very common and I know if it's something
you haven't experienced before, it feels very abnormal. So a
big thing we say in grief is what feels abnormal
in life is normal, And we put that in quotes,
is normal in grief, so everything you're experiencing is valid,
It's to be expected. The biggest thing for someone who
(08:00):
is fresh into their grief that I hear all the
time is the pressure that they're getting from people in
their life, whether it coworkers, family support system, whatever, of
it's time to move on, especially after the funeral. Bailey
made a really great point of that can provide a
lot of closure for people, and sometimes I think that
also carries the expectation of, oh, well, the funeral's done,
I have to move on with my life, and that
(08:22):
is not true. A lot of the work we do
in grief is how do we grow around the grief.
So it's not necessarily moving on without it, but it's
moving alongside it. And that takes a lot of time
to figure out.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
What does your process look like? So right now I
would really encourage.
Speaker 7 (08:38):
You figuring out what feels okay for you. Does it
feel okay to jumping back into.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Some other hobbies or do you just want to take
some time for yourself, or do you need to readjust
some things. How do you want to connect with him?
All those different things is going to be really important
right now, and really just figuring out what feels okay
to you.
Speaker 7 (08:57):
And if there are things that people are encouraging that
you're like, I'm not ready for that yet, that's okay
that those boundaries and trust your process and listen to
what feels good for you.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
If you just turn the radio on, we're talking to Shawna.
Shawna is probably about thirty seven or so. She lost
her boyfriend one week ago this morning when he didn't
show up for work and somebody went to check on
him and he was gone. So Shauna is in her words,
I think she said, she's just lost and everything is
so new. I will tell you that a friend of
mine lost her nineteen year old son in a motorcycle accident. Again,
(09:31):
it died right away. One minute he was there, one
minute he was gone. And I went to the funeral
and she said to me, she says, she looked me
and she said, this isn't real.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
This is not real.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And that's very common too, to just like just not
even accept it as real.
Speaker 7 (09:45):
Brittany, Yes, So a lot of the first steps and
we try to move away from stages of grief because those.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Just aren't real. And that's a whole different conversation.
Speaker 7 (09:53):
But a lot of the first things that we do
in the grief work, especially with sudden losses, like this
is us making sense of it of like, one, this
is real, this is my reality. But also there might
be some unanswered questions.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Of like what happened?
Speaker 7 (10:08):
Or you know, for people who have maybe a spiritual
religious side, it's like why me, why now? So it
is a lot of your beginning works might be sitting
in that space, which can be really uncomfortable. So I
also encourage find your safe support system and find those
coping skills, which I know sounds cliche, but there's some
truth to it, which.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Is why we push on it so much.
Speaker 7 (10:29):
But find those things that are going to allow you
to take care of yourself, that's going to allow you
to reground because your nervous system is like all out
of whack right now. But yeah, really figuring out why
did this happen and how do I make sense of it?
What does this mean for me now? Moving forward? And
that takes time, and if we rush it, that's where
we're going to run into a little bit different problems
(10:50):
that feel a little bit more complex.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Brittany a Greef therapist, a friend of mine lost his
Basically it was his grandfather, but he raised him as
a kid. So and his thing, his way to cope
was get right back into work, just like the next day,
go right.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Back to work. Work, work, work, work.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
And it did not work because a month later he
was still like very he didn't give a chance to grieve.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
So you've got to have a chance to go through
the process.
Speaker 7 (11:14):
Absolutely, And I will say sometimes people think whether it's
because society right, it's like, oh, distract yourself, So sometimes
we need that space to trial and error something. But
that's where I'm saying, really, listen to what feels okay
for you. So if it does feel okay for you
to go back to work, try it. And if you're like, okay,
this is not working, give yourself that space to take
(11:35):
some time off. Or if you're already in the space
of like I don't have the capacity to do that,
set that boundary. It's going to be hard. I think
in the corporate.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
World you get like three days for recently.
Speaker 7 (11:47):
What is that you can't do anything? No, no, So
really honor.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
I mean, my clients are exhausted with hearing it of
honor your grief journey, which is simply just recognizing, which
isn't really simple because it can be hard, but recognizing
what feels true to you. Where are you in your
grief journey?
Speaker 7 (12:05):
Because if you're not in the space of going back
to work, but you go back anyway, that's where I'm
saying it's going to get a little bit more foggy.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Can I ask you a question, Brittany, because we get
to be respectful as Shawna's time, and I know you
can't stay on the phone forever too, But is there
a resource for anybody like Shawna?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Is there a website?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And I know there are professionals, but a lot of
people don't know where to begin. Where should somebody like
Shauna begin, like a resource or a website or something.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
So, Shauna, if you're looking for a therapist, psychology today
is always.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
A good search engine. You can look for specialties your area.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
It's under insurance.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
I'm always happy to connect with you as well, Dave.
I think you have my contact, I can always send
that to you. Otherwise, What's your Grief is a really
great website resource. It's got resources, but not only professionals
but also clients are excuse me, people who are going
through similar things like that, so it helps you kind
of explore what does your grief look like?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I've got blog, articles, YouTube, but what's your Grief is
a really good resource.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
So what's your grief?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Dot com or psychology today? Gosha, Brittany? Do I call
you doctor Brittany?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Oh no, I'm just an LMSP.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I just tell that that sounds impressive to me too,
for us doctor enough, you know what. I think it's
so cool that when we ask a question on KTWB
about this, where there's always somebody listening who's kind enough
to call in and offer their advice. Brittany, thank you
so much. And Shauna, I hope that helped a little bit.
Maybe you got some answers, maybe you got a little direction,
but I think maybe you realize that whatever you feel
(13:43):
is how you feel and that's okay.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, thank you guys so much. I really truly appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Hey, wow, you take care.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I don't know what else to say, but you know
we're here for you, So thank you for thank for
being on KTWDB.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Shauna, that was a hard one.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
That was a different one than what we usually do.
Is like my neighbors dogs won't stop barking what do
I do?
Speaker 8 (14:06):
But I'm glad because, like what you said, there's always
going to be somebody who knows what to say. And
I'm glad someone called in knowing kind of exactly what
to say, because I would not know what to say
in that situation.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
So there's always somebody though, and we're here for you.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Absolutely, So if you ever have a problem and you're like,
I don't know what to do, then there's somebody listening
who does know because they've been through the same thing.
So send an email into Ryan Show at KDWB
Shauna is on the phone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Shawna wrote us an email and we said, Hey, Shawna,
would you like to be on the radio to talk
about this, and so maybe we can get a little
bit more helpful. We can be more helpful if we're
able to talk to you specifically in person.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Hi, Shawna, Hi, good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hey, thanks for being on. And I know this is
a very difficult thing for you to talk about, but
I hope we can help you out. And the thing
about group therapy is that if we can't help you
on the show, there are other people who are listening
that might be able to give you some advice or
words of wisdom. Tell me what you're struggling with right now, Shauna.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
My boyfriend just out of the blue, unexpectedly passed away
last Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Last Tuesday, so one week ago. And this was I mean,
as far as you knew, he was, you know, at
least moderately healthy to very healthy. And then and then
just kind of like I mean, you don't have to
give a lot of details, but one minute he was there,
and and then and then he was gone pretty much yep, yep.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
He works early mornings. Always said good night Monday night.
I sent him a message on Tuesdays say and good
morning babies and panhard from him. So his coworker stopped
over when he did shop from work and found him.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Wow, and he was gone, yeah, gone, And he was young,
thirty seven, Yeah, and so just devastating because this was
this was your person and just in a in a
blink and you'd you know it, you just you described
it in your email as just you're just kind of
(01:41):
lost and don't know what to do. But I don't
want to put words in your mouth tell me how
you're feelings.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Ye're exactly right. It's it's a fog that I'm just
kind of sucking. Yeah, to move forward, I just don't
know how. I can't. I'm just lost right now.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I can't even imagine.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So the what you would like some help with is
just how do you what do you do next? Have
you had people to talk to, your mom, your sister,
your cousin, anybody like that.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Yeah, my parents actually live in Florida, So my mom
came up this last week and spend it with me.
I've talked to his family every day since. You know, friends, family,
everybody has been there. But this is such a niche thing.
That nobody has really gone through themselves. So they're just
saying the nice words that they can, but they don't
(02:38):
really know what.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
More to do for me.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And I think that's kind of the thing, is people
don't People want to help, but they don't know what
to say, right And sometimes because people don't know what
to say, they kind of avoid somebody who has lost someone, yeah,
because they don't know what to say. I think that
you know, if you live long enough, you're going to
lose somebody suddenly on ex expectively in your life, whether
(03:02):
it's a friend, whether it's a coworker, whether it's a
family member, whether it's a partner or whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And I don't even know what to say.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But because you can't diminish it by saying, hey, it's
something everybody goes through, that doesn't make it any easier.
It's kind of like, you know, as simply, as simply
and totally different as when my dog died, it's something
everybody has been through and everybody is sympathetic, but at
the same time, and this is I mean, on a
much bigger level, this was your person. And I think
(03:32):
I think one of the things is you didn't get
a chance to say.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Goodbye exactly.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Have you had did you like plan a funeral for him?
Or has he had one yet?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Or are you going to a funeral?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Is Saturday?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Is Saturday?
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Okay, See, it's not that like a funerals necessarily like
you need to have it. But I know that that's
all like usually a good moment of closure, even though
he was like taken so suddenly that like I don't know,
maybe a funeral and being there and being able to
like talk about him with other people who knew him
and kind of celebrate where like his life in general
could be at least partially helpful in closing a chapter
(04:13):
sort of, But like it's never happened to me either,
So I struggle with giving advice.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I think whatever you feel is normal. That's how
you feel, and it is a process and it's not
something you can just get over. I don't think that
one day you wake up and go, yeah, okay, I
don't know what's.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
It's a long time of like healing to like get
used to probably this new life without him.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
But you're never going to.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
Get over this loss.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It's just moving on with your life.
Speaker 6 (04:45):
Like some person said, I lost a partner in my
child's dad. I strongly recommend a grief camp. It was
active based counseling with others in similar situations, and I
could send I could send you on if you want
to know about it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
They said, let us talk to Danielle. We got some
phone calls about this one. So basically it's Shauna, Shauna
is I'm going to get You're around the same age
that he was when he passed. She lost her boyfriend
like out of the blue, said good night to him
on Monday. Tuesday, he didn't show up for work, so
a coworker went by and he was gone. And so
Shawna is just lost and you don't know. And I'm
sure that is there a little part of you, Shauna
(05:21):
that this like for an instant, your mind will say
I need to call.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Him every day.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
There's int like when my dad died, it took a
long time to get past the I need to call
him and see how he's doing, which is totally doesn't
make any sense. But you want to call him and
talk to him and say what happened. And that's normal too.
Danielle is on the phone, Danielle, help us out here.
Shauna is going through some stuff. And she's lost. What
do you want to say, well.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Being someone who was widowed at a very young age,
at the age of twenty six, is you're going to
you're stone shocked and that fog right now, that's your
body's natural response to the trauma that's happened. Don't make
any big decisions, giant decisions right now about your life
and what you're going to do and everything like that.
You just need to start by taking things minute by minute,
(06:14):
hour by hour to day by day. I really highly
suggest there are support groups out there for.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
This.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
There's lots of great books on dealing with grief and loss,
but one of the things that really helped me was
just going for walks in nature and kind.
Speaker 7 (06:33):
Of just allowing myself to be present in that moment,
and it helped me kind.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Of work through my grief. So just taking things well
right now, don't make any hasty decisions because you're you're
in shock right now. It's going to take some time
to pull yourself out of that. But just slowly going
for locks, taking things day by day, you know, that's
going to be the best part in finding the support
(06:58):
group out there.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, I think a lot of people are saying support
groups or grief counseling. We have a grief counselor on
the phone. Well, gets her in a second. And I
know this is a little bit incongruent if you want
to say that, but I got to give you the
keyword because there are people listening right now who are
expecting that keyword now. Good to be respectful of your time.
So the keyword right now is squabble. That keyword just
use the talk back feature and use the word squabble
(07:20):
to say the keyword is squabble. You're good to go,
So go do that, and we're going to get to
the grief counselor right now. Brittany, Hey, thanks for listening.
I'm glad you were here this morning to help us
out with this one on group therapy. What would you
say to Shawna she's listening right now, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Good morning, Shawna.
Speaker 7 (07:38):
So the biggest thing, I mean, obviously validating where you're at.
This is very common and I know if it's something
you haven't experienced before, it feels very abnormal. So a
big thing we say in grief is what feels abnormal
in life is normal, And we put that in quotes,
is normal in grief, so everything you're experiencing is valid,
It's to be expected. The biggest thing for someone who
(08:00):
is fresh into their grief that I hear all the
time is the pressure that they're getting from people in
their life, whether it coworkers, family support system, whatever, of
it's time to move on, especially after the funeral. Bailey
made a really great point of that can provide a
lot of closure for people, and sometimes I think that
also carries the expectation of, oh, well, the funeral's done,
I have to move on with my life, and that
(08:22):
is not true. A lot of the work we do
in grief is how do we grow around the grief.
So it's not necessarily moving on without it, but it's
moving alongside it. And that takes a lot of time
to figure out.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
What does your process look like? So right now I
would really encourage.
Speaker 7 (08:38):
You figuring out what feels okay for you. Does it
feel okay to jumping back into.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Some other hobbies or do you just want to take
some time for yourself, or do you need to readjust
some things. How do you want to connect with him?
All those different things is going to be really important
right now, and really just figuring out what feels okay
to you.
Speaker 7 (08:57):
And if there are things that people are encouraging that
you're like, I'm not ready for that yet, that's okay
that those boundaries and trust your process and listen to
what feels good for you.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
If you just turn the radio on, we're talking to Shawna.
Shawna is probably about thirty seven or so. She lost
her boyfriend one week ago this morning when he didn't
show up for work and somebody went to check on
him and he was gone. So Shauna is in her words,
I think she said, she's just lost and everything is
so new. I will tell you that a friend of
mine lost her nineteen year old son in a motorcycle accident. Again,
(09:31):
it died right away. One minute he was there, one
minute he was gone. And I went to the funeral
and she said to me, she says, she looked me
and she said, this isn't real.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
This is not real.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And that's very common too, to just like just not
even accept it as real.
Speaker 7 (09:45):
Brittany, Yes, So a lot of the first steps and
we try to move away from stages of grief because those.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Just aren't real. And that's a whole different conversation.
Speaker 7 (09:53):
But a lot of the first things that we do
in the grief work, especially with sudden losses, like this
is us making sense of it of like, one, this
is real, this is my reality. But also there might
be some unanswered questions.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Of like what happened?
Speaker 7 (10:08):
Or you know, for people who have maybe a spiritual
religious side, it's like why me, why now? So it
is a lot of your beginning works might be sitting
in that space, which can be really uncomfortable. So I
also encourage find your safe support system and find those
coping skills, which I know sounds cliche, but there's some
truth to it, which.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Is why we push on it so much.
Speaker 7 (10:29):
But find those things that are going to allow you
to take care of yourself, that's going to allow you
to reground because your nervous system is like all out
of whack right now. But yeah, really figuring out why
did this happen and how do I make sense of it?
What does this mean for me now? Moving forward? And
that takes time, and if we rush it, that's where
we're going to run into a little bit different problems
(10:50):
that feel a little bit more complex.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Brittany a Greef therapist, a friend of mine lost his
Basically it was his grandfather, but he raised him as
a kid. So and his thing, his way to cope
was get right back into work, just like the next day,
go right.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Back to work. Work, work, work, work.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
And it did not work because a month later he
was still like very he didn't give a chance to grieve.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
So you've got to have a chance to go through
the process.
Speaker 7 (11:14):
Absolutely, And I will say sometimes people think whether it's
because society right, it's like, oh, distract yourself, So sometimes
we need that space to trial and error something. But
that's where I'm saying, really, listen to what feels okay
for you. So if it does feel okay for you
to go back to work, try it. And if you're like, okay,
this is not working, give yourself that space to take
(11:35):
some time off. Or if you're already in the space
of like I don't have the capacity to do that,
set that boundary. It's going to be hard. I think
in the corporate.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
World you get like three days for recently.
Speaker 7 (11:47):
What is that you can't do anything? No, no, So
really honor.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
I mean, my clients are exhausted with hearing it of
honor your grief journey, which is simply just recognizing, which
isn't really simple because it can be hard, but recognizing
what feels true to you. Where are you in your
grief journey?
Speaker 7 (12:05):
Because if you're not in the space of going back
to work, but you go back anyway, that's where I'm
saying it's going to get a little bit more foggy.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Can I ask you a question, Brittany, because we get
to be respectful as Shawna's time, and I know you
can't stay on the phone forever too, But is there
a resource for anybody like Shawna?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Is there a website?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And I know there are professionals, but a lot of
people don't know where to begin. Where should somebody like
Shauna begin, like a resource or a website or something.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
So, Shauna, if you're looking for a therapist, psychology today
is always.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
A good search engine. You can look for specialties your area.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
It's under insurance.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
I'm always happy to connect with you as well, Dave.
I think you have my contact, I can always send
that to you. Otherwise, What's your Grief is a really
great website resource. It's got resources, but not only professionals
but also clients are excuse me, people who are going
through similar things like that, so it helps you kind
of explore what does your grief look like?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I've got blog, articles, YouTube, but what's your Grief is
a really good resource.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
So what's your grief?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Dot com or psychology today? Gosha, Brittany? Do I call
you doctor Brittany?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Oh no, I'm just an LMSP.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I just tell that that sounds impressive to me too,
for us doctor enough, you know what. I think it's
so cool that when we ask a question on KTWB
about this, where there's always somebody listening who's kind enough
to call in and offer their advice. Brittany, thank you
so much. And Shauna, I hope that helped a little bit.
Maybe you got some answers, maybe you got a little direction,
but I think maybe you realize that whatever you feel
(13:43):
is how you feel and that's okay.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, thank you guys so much. I really truly appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Hey, wow, you take care.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I don't know what else to say, but you know
we're here for you, So thank you for thank for
being on KTWDB.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Shauna, that was a hard one.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
That was a different one than what we usually do.
Is like my neighbors dogs won't stop barking what do
I do?
Speaker 8 (14:06):
But I'm glad because, like what you said, there's always
going to be somebody who knows what to say. And
I'm glad someone called in knowing kind of exactly what
to say, because I would not know what to say
in that situation.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
So there's always somebody though, and we're here for you.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Absolutely, So if you ever have a problem and you're like,
I don't know what to do, then there's somebody listening
who does know because they've been through the same thing.
So send an email into Ryan Show at KDWB
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