November 26, 2025 • 11 mins
We revisit a convo from last week where a guy calls and says he shouldn't have to wake up to feed his newborn because he works in the morning.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Last week on No Phone Screener Friday.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
You know, we open up the phones, we take calls
about anything, you can say, almost anything you want to.
And we got one call that we said we got
to come back to that one, so we saved it.
But this is what happened last week on No Phone
Screener Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Check this out.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Hey, my name is Lucas Lucas.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
What's up?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Hey? So I wanted to talk about my wife's just
had a kid and we're having argument about nighttime feeding.
And I don't feel as if I need to do
the two am or three am one, but like the
ten pm one, I'm completely.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Fine doing that.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
But she's having a lot of problems with my way
of thinking.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Why do you not want to do the two and three.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Because I worked at six am and she's.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
On maternity leave, so she's not able. She she can
you know, her sleep can be different. Bluely Bailey didn't
have any spirits.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
I mean don't.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
I don't, But I feel bad for her. I mean,
she's the one that's I assume she breastfeeding.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
A little bit, a little bit here and there.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
I mean, because I can't imagine breastfeeding that sounds exhausting. Okay,
I wasn't here for this conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, I got a lot of people riled up.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
People were calling and texting about whether what he should
or shouldn't do.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Well.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
It's funny because I kind of am on his side,
and I think that's kind of what maternity leave is
for now. I will absolutely listen to like other opinions,
and I don't know that I'm right, but that's what
maternity leave is for. So you can get up at
three o'clock in the morning and you can do the
feeding without having to worry about getting up at six
(01:40):
and going to work. So there's part of me that's like,
I kind of understand it. He's still got to go
to work, and yes, being the new mom is hard
and there's a lot of things to deal with. But
I think maybe I'm just maybe fifty one percent on
his side. But I'm willing to listen to hear why
he should get up at three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
I was gonna say, I have obviously no experience with
this myself, so I feel like it's hard for me
to make an opinion on this one. However, I don't know.
I think that like being a new mom. Everything about
that takes the life out of you. So even though
she's sitting at home and like on maternity leave, she's
still like taking care of a newborn child, which is
(02:22):
probably more work than him going into whatever his job
might be. And maybe he sits at a desk all
day and he gets to scroll on Instagram every once
in a while, Like that, actually, isn't really that exhausting
being a new mom though, is.
Speaker 7 (02:36):
I'm going to give him a little bit of credit
because I don't know what he does or doesn't do,
and if he is being the not sole provider, but like,
if he's going to work to make money, then I
understand why he feels he shouldn't have to get up.
But I think, my man, if you're not gonna wake
up and leave mommy duties to the mom overnight, when
you get off, you need to be like she needs
(02:56):
to be in the bad sleep or resting or taking
a shower, like you need to be dad duty at
that point.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I think that's a good point.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think that my thing would be like a little
bit of compromise, like he would maybe say, you know what,
you sleep all night?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
This time I will get up with little Clarence.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Every I'll get up at one, I'll get up at three,
I'll get up and when I go to work, you
sleep all night this time, and maybe get a little compromise,
because I think one of the things that's hard, and
it's been so long since I've had little kids like that.
I used to love getting up with Alison and I
would like hold her and she'd like with a little
bottle and it would be dark and there'd be like
(03:32):
just the light from the TV on and I would
watch old TV shows in the middle of the night,
and I loved it. Those are some of my favorite
memories with her. Yeah, but I would say, maybe a
compromise where it's like, Okay, I'm gonna let you sleep
par eight hours tonight. Tomorrow night, you let me sleep
par eight hours. So well, let's well, let's see what
we think here. We got a bunch of text messages
(03:52):
at KATIEWB one five, three, nine two one. Guess what
it works again? Yeah, let's get people off the phone
first so you can get on with your life. Who's
on the phone now, Layen's on the thn Hi, Hi, Lauren,
what do you want to say.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
About all this?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I just wanted to say that maternity leave is not
a vacation. She is not just hanging out all day
she I mean, the main reason is to be bond
with the baby, first of all, but to heal from
this significant events that happened to her body, whether it's
a C section or badgin or whatever it is, Like,
it's not I mean, she needs to rest in order
(04:27):
to heal, in order to produce milk and order all
of that. And I mean that's just part of what
he needs to do is help with that so that
she can sleep too. It and during the day she's
not getting to like nap for an hour or two.
That doesn't mean she gets a nap during that time.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
You don't think she's spit it on a cocktail.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Here's here's the funny thing is that you think, oh, well,
she can take a nap when the baby naps. No,
because when the baby naps, you got to wash bottles.
When the baby naps you got to run down to
like I mean, you can't go anywhere, but when the
baby naps, you got to finish your laundry. When the
baby naps, you got to do this. So really, mom's
do you think you're gonna get a nap when the
baby naps. It doesn't really work that way.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
There are a bunch of text messages, though, and I'm curious.
Speaker 7 (05:08):
Most of them seem like they're from women saying mom
of three, here, I agree with him since he works
in the morning. Another one that was the arrangement I
did with my husband when he worked. I did the
night stuff because I it went away, Oh, because I
could sleep in take naps throughout the day.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
Other people are saying that they screwed up and they
should have had a plan during the pregnancy and not
be arguing about it now.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Well, that's true. It's one of the things you don't
really think about the first month or so. When they
don't sleep through the night. It's hard, but it goes by,
like everything in life goes by. You blink and all
of a sudden they're sleeping through the night. It doesn't
seem like that when they're two weeks old. Here's what
we got. We're basically talking about somebody who called in
last week and they said, my wife and I are
having a disagreement. We've got a baby, she's on maternity leave.
(05:51):
I have to get up at six to go to work.
She wants me to do some of the three am
two am feedings, and I don't want to because I
get to get up two hours later. Text messages. Our
pediatrician recommended to my family that Dad needs sleep to
get to work and mom wakes up at night. We
schedule blocks to give mom breaks and naps, but Dad
needs sleep to provide And I think that's true. I'm
(06:14):
sure Dad's not sitting there picking his booty over at work.
He's probably busy doing whatever.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
I don't know, but i'd like to have that job.
Speaker 8 (06:21):
Though.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
Where can I get a job that.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
You get a job?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Can you do that, Jenny? You are one percent right.
Mom's on maternity to leave. Do not get any chance
to rest during the day. It's exhausting. He is getting
his solid night's sleep, She is getting intermittent sleep, which
is good as nuts.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
And you have to also think that, like she's dealing
with a baby who's crying and ornery, and you're trying
to figure out what's wrong with the baby all day.
Whereas like, once again, we don't know what this guy
does for work. Maybe he does have a stressful job,
but a lot of people's jobs aren't like brain surgery,
and it is like a lot of sitting at desk
or like maybe doing construction, which I know that that's
like stress on her body.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I mean, anybody who works, it's stressful.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
If you work at I don't know, Gil a Cargill,
it's stressful because you got to do this, you got
to do that, you got to do it by the deadline.
So I don't know that there's any job where it's like,
oh man, my job is who Thank god, my job.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Is so easy.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I was really surprised because we played that clip on Friday.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
We said, let's revisit it.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
We talked about it about fifteen twenty minutes ago, and
I was really surprised that I really thought people would
roast this guy. Yeah they were saying yeah, because they
really did on Friday, and that's why we came back
to it. But there are a surprising number of moms
that are like, yeah, you know what, I'm kind of
on his side. But not everybody thinks that. This text,
for example, says I think he's fair. They just need
(07:45):
to communicate a schedule that works for them. As a mom,
hold on, it just went away. It does that sometimes
as a mom, hold on Okay, I agree with him
because if he has a job where he could get
in big trouble or fired if he makes a mistake
because he is super tired, well, what is the point
of been going back to work and providing for the
(08:06):
family if he's tired and risking his job. Here's another
one that said, we are currently in the newborn trenches
with a seven week old. They're still not sleeping through
the night at seven weeks old. Some babies do it early,
some people, some babies do it months later. We switch
the middle of the night feedings and usually go by
whoever's most tired. But if we also split it up
(08:28):
where one of us feeds in the other burbs and
rocks the baby back to sleep, or in my case,
I go pump while dad is feeding.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
I do have Krista on the phone if we want
to talk to her real quick.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Christa, we're talking about whether it's fair for him to
be like, I don't want to get up at two
in the morning, I have to go to work at six, Krista,
what do you think?
Speaker 8 (08:50):
Well, first, and on a second of previous comments that
this is a huge change for a woman's body, and
she is asking for help. I think it's important if
you are truly her partner, you help her. She needs help.
It doesn't have to be forever. But if she needs help,
(09:12):
she's asking for help.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
She needs this, okay, right, think I think that, Yeah,
I think that's the kind of thing. Is kind of like,
if you need me to get up, then I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
But I also think, you know, I don't know. I
don't want to speak out of turn.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
But there is somebody who says I am a mom
of four, and I agree with him. So there are
people who see different sides. Here's one from a said
I'm a Newish first time dad. Here, my wife and
I did a similar thing as this guy. I did
the ten pm and the five and the five am feedings.
My wife did the two am. That way, I was
(09:50):
rested up enough where I could still function and be
professional in my job, but then she got to sleep
in a little bit in the morning. And I will
say that I think that if if dad goes into
work and he's a little bit ti, they're gonna be like, okay, yeah,
I get it. You know, Craig is tired because he's
got a new baby. So more text messages should have
had a plan during pregnancy.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
Yeah, a few people have texted that one in I
kind of agree with him as well. My way of
thinking is I'll get up in the on the feeding
into the middle of the night while on Materney leave,
but once I go back to work then I would
expect him to help out.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Somebody said the fact that he said my wife just
had a kid and not we just had a kid,
that's a red flag. A couple of weeks on the
show ago, on the show, maybe a couple of months ago,
a guy said we just had a kid, and he
got roasted and people said, no, your wife just had
a kid. So he couldn't win no matter which way
he said it. So, I don't know, I've been through
(10:49):
it a couple of times, and I'm going to tell
you this. You forget all of those things, those miserable
overnight feedings, all of that. You just kind of forget
all the squawking. What's that song? You're gonna miss this,
You're gonna want this back? And it's about this mom
who's got kids that are screaming and like you know,
like I don't know, stuffing like things down the toilet
(11:10):
and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's like you you don't remember all those bad things.
You just remember how freaking cute they are.
Speaker 6 (11:16):
Yeah, you do. I don't have the experience, but what
I hear from other parents, that is what you remember.
Last week on No Phone Screener Friday.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
You know, we open up the phones, we take calls
about anything, you can say, almost anything you want to.
And we got one call that we said we got
to come back to that one, so we saved it.
But this is what happened last week on No Phone
Screener Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Check this out.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Hey, my name is Lucas Lucas.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
What's up?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Hey? So I wanted to talk about my wife's just
had a kid and we're having argument about nighttime feeding.
And I don't feel as if I need to do
the two am or three am one, but like the
ten pm one, I'm completely.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Fine doing that.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
But she's having a lot of problems with my way
of thinking.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Why do you not want to do the two and three.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Because I worked at six am and she's.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
On maternity leave, so she's not able. She she can
you know, her sleep can be different. Bluely Bailey didn't
have any spirits.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
I mean don't.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
I don't, But I feel bad for her. I mean,
she's the one that's I assume she breastfeeding.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
A little bit, a little bit here and there.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
I mean, because I can't imagine breastfeeding that sounds exhausting. Okay,
I wasn't here for this conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, I got a lot of people riled up.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
People were calling and texting about whether what he should
or shouldn't do.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Well.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
It's funny because I kind of am on his side,
and I think that's kind of what maternity leave is
for now. I will absolutely listen to like other opinions,
and I don't know that I'm right, but that's what
maternity leave is for. So you can get up at
three o'clock in the morning and you can do the
feeding without having to worry about getting up at six
(01:40):
and going to work. So there's part of me that's like,
I kind of understand it. He's still got to go
to work, and yes, being the new mom is hard
and there's a lot of things to deal with. But
I think maybe I'm just maybe fifty one percent on
his side. But I'm willing to listen to hear why
he should get up at three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
I was gonna say, I have obviously no experience with
this myself, so I feel like it's hard for me
to make an opinion on this one. However, I don't know.
I think that like being a new mom. Everything about
that takes the life out of you. So even though
she's sitting at home and like on maternity leave, she's
still like taking care of a newborn child, which is
(02:22):
probably more work than him going into whatever his job
might be. And maybe he sits at a desk all
day and he gets to scroll on Instagram every once
in a while, Like that, actually, isn't really that exhausting
being a new mom though, is.
Speaker 7 (02:36):
I'm going to give him a little bit of credit
because I don't know what he does or doesn't do,
and if he is being the not sole provider, but like,
if he's going to work to make money, then I
understand why he feels he shouldn't have to get up.
But I think, my man, if you're not gonna wake
up and leave mommy duties to the mom overnight, when
you get off, you need to be like she needs
(02:56):
to be in the bad sleep or resting or taking
a shower, like you need to be dad duty at
that point.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I think that's a good point.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think that my thing would be like a little
bit of compromise, like he would maybe say, you know what,
you sleep all night?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
This time I will get up with little Clarence.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Every I'll get up at one, I'll get up at three,
I'll get up and when I go to work, you
sleep all night this time, and maybe get a little compromise,
because I think one of the things that's hard, and
it's been so long since I've had little kids like that.
I used to love getting up with Alison and I
would like hold her and she'd like with a little
bottle and it would be dark and there'd be like
(03:32):
just the light from the TV on and I would
watch old TV shows in the middle of the night,
and I loved it. Those are some of my favorite
memories with her. Yeah, but I would say, maybe a
compromise where it's like, Okay, I'm gonna let you sleep
par eight hours tonight. Tomorrow night, you let me sleep
par eight hours. So well, let's well, let's see what
we think here. We got a bunch of text messages
(03:52):
at KATIEWB one five, three, nine two one. Guess what
it works again? Yeah, let's get people off the phone
first so you can get on with your life. Who's
on the phone now, Layen's on the thn Hi, Hi, Lauren,
what do you want to say.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
About all this?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I just wanted to say that maternity leave is not
a vacation. She is not just hanging out all day
she I mean, the main reason is to be bond
with the baby, first of all, but to heal from
this significant events that happened to her body, whether it's
a C section or badgin or whatever it is, Like,
it's not I mean, she needs to rest in order
(04:27):
to heal, in order to produce milk and order all
of that. And I mean that's just part of what
he needs to do is help with that so that
she can sleep too. It and during the day she's
not getting to like nap for an hour or two.
That doesn't mean she gets a nap during that time.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
You don't think she's spit it on a cocktail.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Here's here's the funny thing is that you think, oh, well,
she can take a nap when the baby naps. No,
because when the baby naps, you got to wash bottles.
When the baby naps you got to run down to
like I mean, you can't go anywhere, but when the
baby naps, you got to finish your laundry. When the
baby naps, you got to do this. So really, mom's
do you think you're gonna get a nap when the
baby naps. It doesn't really work that way.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
There are a bunch of text messages, though, and I'm curious.
Speaker 7 (05:08):
Most of them seem like they're from women saying mom
of three, here, I agree with him since he works
in the morning. Another one that was the arrangement I
did with my husband when he worked. I did the
night stuff because I it went away, Oh, because I
could sleep in take naps throughout the day.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
Other people are saying that they screwed up and they
should have had a plan during the pregnancy and not
be arguing about it now.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Well, that's true. It's one of the things you don't
really think about the first month or so. When they
don't sleep through the night. It's hard, but it goes by,
like everything in life goes by. You blink and all
of a sudden they're sleeping through the night. It doesn't
seem like that when they're two weeks old. Here's what
we got. We're basically talking about somebody who called in
last week and they said, my wife and I are
having a disagreement. We've got a baby, she's on maternity leave.
(05:51):
I have to get up at six to go to work.
She wants me to do some of the three am
two am feedings, and I don't want to because I
get to get up two hours later. Text messages. Our
pediatrician recommended to my family that Dad needs sleep to
get to work and mom wakes up at night. We
schedule blocks to give mom breaks and naps, but Dad
needs sleep to provide And I think that's true. I'm
(06:14):
sure Dad's not sitting there picking his booty over at work.
He's probably busy doing whatever.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
I don't know, but i'd like to have that job.
Speaker 8 (06:21):
Though.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
Where can I get a job that.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
You get a job?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Can you do that, Jenny? You are one percent right.
Mom's on maternity to leave. Do not get any chance
to rest during the day. It's exhausting. He is getting
his solid night's sleep, She is getting intermittent sleep, which
is good as nuts.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
And you have to also think that, like she's dealing
with a baby who's crying and ornery, and you're trying
to figure out what's wrong with the baby all day.
Whereas like, once again, we don't know what this guy
does for work. Maybe he does have a stressful job,
but a lot of people's jobs aren't like brain surgery,
and it is like a lot of sitting at desk
or like maybe doing construction, which I know that that's
like stress on her body.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I mean, anybody who works, it's stressful.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
If you work at I don't know, Gil a Cargill,
it's stressful because you got to do this, you got
to do that, you got to do it by the deadline.
So I don't know that there's any job where it's like,
oh man, my job is who Thank god, my job.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Is so easy.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I was really surprised because we played that clip on Friday.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
We said, let's revisit it.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
We talked about it about fifteen twenty minutes ago, and
I was really surprised that I really thought people would
roast this guy. Yeah they were saying yeah, because they
really did on Friday, and that's why we came back
to it. But there are a surprising number of moms
that are like, yeah, you know what, I'm kind of
on his side. But not everybody thinks that. This text,
for example, says I think he's fair. They just need
(07:45):
to communicate a schedule that works for them. As a mom,
hold on, it just went away. It does that sometimes
as a mom, hold on Okay, I agree with him
because if he has a job where he could get
in big trouble or fired if he makes a mistake
because he is super tired, well, what is the point
of been going back to work and providing for the
(08:06):
family if he's tired and risking his job. Here's another
one that said, we are currently in the newborn trenches
with a seven week old. They're still not sleeping through
the night at seven weeks old. Some babies do it early,
some people, some babies do it months later. We switch
the middle of the night feedings and usually go by
whoever's most tired. But if we also split it up
(08:28):
where one of us feeds in the other burbs and
rocks the baby back to sleep, or in my case,
I go pump while dad is feeding.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
I do have Krista on the phone if we want
to talk to her real quick.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Christa, we're talking about whether it's fair for him to
be like, I don't want to get up at two
in the morning, I have to go to work at six, Krista,
what do you think?
Speaker 8 (08:50):
Well, first, and on a second of previous comments that
this is a huge change for a woman's body, and
she is asking for help. I think it's important if
you are truly her partner, you help her. She needs help.
It doesn't have to be forever. But if she needs help,
(09:12):
she's asking for help.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
She needs this, okay, right, think I think that, Yeah,
I think that's the kind of thing. Is kind of like,
if you need me to get up, then I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
But I also think, you know, I don't know. I
don't want to speak out of turn.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
But there is somebody who says I am a mom
of four, and I agree with him. So there are
people who see different sides. Here's one from a said
I'm a Newish first time dad. Here, my wife and
I did a similar thing as this guy. I did
the ten pm and the five and the five am feedings.
My wife did the two am. That way, I was
(09:50):
rested up enough where I could still function and be
professional in my job, but then she got to sleep
in a little bit in the morning. And I will
say that I think that if if dad goes into
work and he's a little bit ti, they're gonna be like, okay, yeah,
I get it. You know, Craig is tired because he's
got a new baby. So more text messages should have
had a plan during pregnancy.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
Yeah, a few people have texted that one in I
kind of agree with him as well. My way of
thinking is I'll get up in the on the feeding
into the middle of the night while on Materney leave,
but once I go back to work then I would
expect him to help out.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Somebody said the fact that he said my wife just
had a kid and not we just had a kid,
that's a red flag. A couple of weeks on the
show ago, on the show, maybe a couple of months ago,
a guy said we just had a kid, and he
got roasted and people said, no, your wife just had
a kid. So he couldn't win no matter which way
he said it. So, I don't know, I've been through
(10:49):
it a couple of times, and I'm going to tell
you this. You forget all of those things, those miserable
overnight feedings, all of that. You just kind of forget
all the squawking. What's that song? You're gonna miss this,
You're gonna want this back? And it's about this mom
who's got kids that are screaming and like you know,
like I don't know, stuffing like things down the toilet
(11:10):
and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's like you you don't remember all those bad things.
You just remember how freaking cute they are.
Speaker 6 (11:16):
Yeah, you do. I don't have the experience, but what
I hear from other parents, that is what you remember.
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