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August 15, 2025 • 9 mins
Janay calls in with a bold statement about gifts at kids' birthday parties.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Janney wants to bring up something that a lot of
moms and dads probably have experienced.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hi, Jena, what's going on?

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Hi?

Speaker 4 (00:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (00:07):
Good marrying?

Speaker 6 (00:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (00:08):
So I have a kid's birthday pray this weekend. So
my daughter's friend is turning four. To be honest, I
really think we need to normalize not bringing birthday presents
for kids.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Why is that? Why take the joy out of their birthday?
Why be such a fun killer?

Speaker 5 (00:26):
Well, I don't need to be a fun killers. It's
more of this. I mean. So, I just got back
from Target to get this present, and I got a
cotton candy maker for this girl. I spent forty three
dollars and nine cents on it. To be honest, we'll
probably love it for a week and then no, not
even a week.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
No, she'll use it once. It's so complicated.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Her momill hated, it's messy, It'll go in the back
of the closet, and then that they'll never touch it again.

Speaker 7 (00:49):
So you agree days then why bother?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
I do?

Speaker 6 (00:52):
Really?

Speaker 5 (00:52):
But I don't like that happened with my daughter too,
because she'll get she's gotten so many things that she
will play with once and then she's done with it,
and it's just it's not I don't think it's I
don't want to take away their joy or anything, but
I just I don't think they care as much. They
use it one time and then it's in my closet
and that's donated or throw it away, you know, six
months later, a year later, I don't I don't think

(01:13):
they care as much about that.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
I've been there. No, I totally know what you mean.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
My kids have had enough birthday parties that I remember
Carson got a candy making factory and he was probably
eight or so.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Was cool present.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
I did all the work, he sat there, the candy
was awful, it was messy, and then we never touched
it again. Yeah, but at the same time, they get
that joy. I'm on the fence on this one because
it's like part of your what did you love about
your birthday when you were a little kid. Do you
want to have people come by and guy, yeah, I
made a donation to the world Wildlife fun and your
kids nobody wants that. No, they want a playdough fun

(01:48):
maker machine.

Speaker 6 (01:48):
I think that's just.

Speaker 8 (01:49):
Part of you know, having kids, or having a kid
that has friends because they have joy in playing with
the toys, even if for two seconds, you know that
going into it.

Speaker 5 (01:58):
Yeah, I think they care about their friends and the
birthday games as they play and you know, like the
Barbie cake that you get and they'll blow out the candles.
I don't know if they really care about the present.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
I think it's I think that we put a lot
of emphasis so they learned to care about the presence.

Speaker 6 (02:14):
They learned.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
But a fun birthday party. My Allison's daughters just had
a joint birthday party at a place down in Egan
and I can't remember what it's called, but it's basically
it's rainbow PlayStations. It's like slides and climbing walls and
basketball hoops and it was so cool and the kids
ran around for two hours. They all brought presents. They're
all very kind. They all brought presents. Probably you know,
it's just like you said, the suitcase size shopping Target bag,

(02:37):
gift bag and it's got a twenty to forty dollars
present in there. And I tell you, you're talking about two
girls that don't need any more toys right their their
living room like every other parent, it is a dedicated playroom.

Speaker 7 (02:50):
It's all toys.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
And that's my niece's whole house is pretty much all toys,
and my dad's house is all toys for my niece.
And I've been to birthday parties where they even forget
to open presents because they're too busy doing all the
other stuff.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
These girls didn't open their presence in front of the kids.
It's just too much times, it's just too much time,
and kids are not good at that age.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's showing appreciation.

Speaker 7 (03:10):
They'll open it and they'll go aha, and then go
to the next thing.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
No, are some other little braddy girls opening the actual
birthday kids present.

Speaker 7 (03:16):
Happens to my niece every year.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Really, I remember my birthdays. My friends blew out my
candles and it destroyed me. It's just like destroyed me,
like Jimmy Stone, like them for you. I don't remember,
but I remember that little a hole Jimmy Stone leaned over.
And then my mom made the frosting on the cake
and it was the color of crest toothpaste, and he
said it looks like toothpaste, and he wasn't wrong.

Speaker 8 (03:38):
I think some of the pressure of buying toys is
I think it's alleviated because it was the last time you've.

Speaker 6 (03:42):
Seen a toy commercial on TV.

Speaker 8 (03:43):
Kids aren't watching those necessarily anymore, but it still is,
you know, the thought that counts, Like I'd be so
devastated if I was this kid and I didn't have
a gift to open.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
We got a lot of text messages about this. Here's
one that says, no birthday gifts if there are more
than five kids at the party, and Dollar Tree or
Dollar Section at Target are the places to go if
there are gifts.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Okay, yeah, like a little something that's not expensive that
if they don't play with it, it's no big loss.
We got to take a break. We'll come back with
more of this. I want to hear what you think
because Jenay, you brought up a really good point. And
I'm sure there's a lot of mom and dads that
have a dedicated living room that has become the playroom.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
There's toys everywhere.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
They play with the play Doo funny pumper one time,
it's messy, and then they put it away and they
never touch it again. So I want to you can
you can hang up and get on with your day,
but thank you for bringing this up. We'll come back
and talk about this, Okay, Thank you, Jenay, Yeah, keep
your radio on. What do you think birthday party? Here
comes all the kids in and their parents are happy

(04:39):
and they're whatever, and they bring presents and all they
all bring like.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
So you end up with fifteen presents.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Janay is like, we need to normalize no presence at
birthday parties because and I totally see your point. The
kids end up with fifteen thirty dollars presents and they
open them and they move on to the next one,
and so some of them never get opened or they
get played with. One time, everybody's out thirty dollars, which
most people can spring for thirty dollars a few times

(05:06):
a year, but then you've got all these toys that
the kids don't really appreciate. So she says, let's normalize
maybe putting on the invitation no presence. Dan is on
the phone, what did you want to say about this?

Speaker 4 (05:19):
A couple of days. First thing, picking out the gift
is super important to the kid going to the party.
My kids are like, I mean, take him an hour
in the aisle of Target. And then the second thing
was you know, when my gets have party, we put
everything up in the closet and then slowly open them
throughout the year. Otherwise they just get open and trashed the.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Bond and forgotten. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
I think it's really true because and that's a decent idea,
and I think a lot of parents are onto that
one to just let them open them, Like, hey, next
Tuesday after school, if you eat your dinner or whatever,
then we'll open up another present, because I just don't
think you want to give them all those toys all
at once. We get a ton of text messages, messages, banks,
BOMs and dads.

Speaker 7 (06:03):
Yes, uh okay, So this text says we do yes
days for birthdays.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
We are building experiences instead of gifts with family, we
do dinner and dessert. And I feel like a yes
day is like if your kid says, can we go
to the zoo?

Speaker 7 (06:14):
You say yes, Oh I like that.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yeah, And so you just do what your kid wants
to do for the day and call it a yes Day.
My nieces and nephews have everything they want and need,
so I just give them money as gifts.

Speaker 7 (06:25):
Now, kids these days love money, a parent like a.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
Four year old is a four year old love money?

Speaker 6 (06:31):
Money?

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Right? When kids are so little, opening the gifts is
the joy, not the actual gifts. Small trinkets are fine,
or recycled gifts from the gift givers home is perfect.

Speaker 7 (06:40):
It's the opening that is the joy.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
I think that's kind of true.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
When they're tearing open the little like, you know, little
piggybank that you got in the dollar spot over at Target.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah, and they go wow and then just throw it
on the ground. That's how they always do. Ask the
kids to bring gifts for the animals at your local shelter,
and then your kid can still open them and can
feel great about going to donate.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
It all.

Speaker 6 (07:05):
Have to be well. Okay.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
This is another one that's kind of about donating. We
have our girls go through their toys for the Birthday
Fairy to pick up and give to kids turning the
age they turned last year. The Birthday Fairy replaces each
toy with a balloon, and we fill their bedroom with
balloons while they're sleeping the night before their birthday. And
we'll do this on Christmas Eve as well, for Santa
to pick up when he brings their presence.

Speaker 7 (07:26):
I don't think the Birthday Fairy ever visited me when
I was little.

Speaker 8 (07:29):
No, well, he wasn't coming to Fondelac scared I kind
of like going back to the text about like building
memories and like yes days. I think it's cool, but
at a certain age, because five years old, I don't
think I'm going.

Speaker 6 (07:41):
To remember going to Disney or something like that.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Well, you're right, you won't remember that. Like we took
our kids to Disney that were two or three years
old first time. They don't remember it, but we did,
and they are definitely joyful. They go on the spinning
tea cups and they meet Goofy and Minnie Mouse. They
don't remember it, but they're joyful. Yeah, and you remember it,
so that's not a bad thing.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
The idea of a yes day would really work if
you're like turning eight and up.

Speaker 6 (08:06):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You have to be a
certain age.

Speaker 7 (08:08):
Because like if you're seven, you're just gonna have a
good time doing whatever.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Somebody says, well, what's the part of a point of
a party if there's no gifts? Well, I think that's
when you have a theme of a party. They all
just play. I mean, if they're little kids, they all
just love playing.

Speaker 7 (08:19):
Together, spending time with each other. That's the point of it.
Because that's like.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
What I said, earlier is that I've been a handful
of birthday parties where they don't even open the gifts there.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah, we didn't do that yet, so that.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
Wasn't the point of the party. It was to eat
cake and be with your friends and then.

Speaker 7 (08:31):
Like play get a bounce house. Yeah, exactly, you.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Got roomed for a bounce house. Alison took her girls
and I asked her where they took it. I couldn't remember.
It was last weekend Mills House, m il Z House
in Egan and it's all just a bunch of slides
and swings and basketball hoops and the kids loved it
two hours. There was plenty plenty. So just a suggestion

(08:56):
or you know, just do something around the house. What
do you think people say? Well, like, well, don't have
them make a donation was kind of boring. Here's a
text message that says, uh, my son is six right
now and I've always put no gifts necessary on all
the invitations. I think that's great, but I would say
no gifts period.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
But then again, yes for a childhood.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
Personally, when I am invited to a kid's birthday party,
I always get them bubble bath and then a bath toy.
They think yeah, because one they stink too. It's still
a toy because they get a bath toy to play
with in the bathtub. But it's also like, here's something
you'll actually use and it will make bath time.

Speaker 7 (09:37):
Like a game.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
It'll make it fun because now there's bubbles in ITIDS.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Love bubble baths, right, I love bubble baths.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
Like here's a barbie and here's like one that you
can throw into this box with all the other things.

Speaker 7 (09:47):
Like I don't try to get some practical

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Thanks
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