August 7, 2025 • 6 mins
Tony's in on the show today to give us a list of why he suspects his husband is actually straight!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tony's been married to Jason for a little while, been
together with him for fifteen years. However, Tony has a
theory that his husband is actually not gay.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
He's not, He's not. Before I start this, I gotta
give a shout out to Mom, Judy, Hi, Mama, I know,
and my mother in law Theresa is listening right now. Well,
so high to all of them. Let's get into this.
My husband straight and I am here to prove it.
Here's number one. My husband's favorite uh CD in high
(00:27):
schooler band was Rascal Flats Stop Flat so like the Highway. Yeah,
you guys, I was playing N sixty four, listened to
Brittany Christina, Yeah you know, Mandy Moore like all that.
His was Rascal Flats. Was he closeted? I think he yeah,
(00:48):
I guess I don't know. He wasn't really out, sure
he was just he was just Yeah, he's pretty straight
presenting this. I think people would know. Sure, he never
heard helps me. Flac Flats was his favorite city. That's
so straight.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Number one.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Number two, all right, this I cannot get over. My
husband is straight because he wears cargo shorts. Who wears
car We're gay? We're gay? Straight men wear cargo shirts.
You guys can have them.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And I have a question even straight men have kind
of like phased those out.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Which amen, because later on I want to have some
call and explain themselves. What do you keep it a
cargo short? Why? Too much? Honestly? Yeah, fishing hooks.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
They keep like keys and stuff in those side pockets,
and it weighs down the shorts. I like those shorts
that have like the few inches in seam, like a
five inch those are so they're like way above the knee. Man.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, so the younger age is doing that. Yeah, like
our age is like, no, that stuff's gay short shorts.
I'm not doing it. So I'm gonna do freaking cargo
shorts that are yeah stupid. Here's another one, like we're
gay so we get to have fun with her fashion.
My husband just wears keys all the time. Yeah, he's right,
come on, we're a Chelsea butt were a fancy thing.
(02:05):
Where's something like that Chelsea but has no laces on it.
It's just a boot with like the side like the
stretchiness to like where I asked my straight guy coworkers
all the time, I'm like, are these shoes gay or straight.
They're like, no, Tony, I'm not wearing those shoes, Like, okay,
these are okay shoes. So he wears nikes all the time.
That's pretty straight. Here's another one. My husband is straight
(02:28):
because he drinks I p As all the time.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Why heavy beer?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
But but like, why oh it's a hoppy beer. It's
not heavy beer. It's super happy.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I like, if you don't like beer, you will not
like an I p A because it is like the
beerriest of beer ever.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
We're gay. We drink fox sodas that is in our
expresso martini. Yeah, he drinks I pas. That's it's so true.
Me from work, he goes rocks in my pockets see
cargo shorts. Yeah, Germany, All right, here we go. He
(03:03):
still wears board shorts to go swimming with underwear. What. Yeah,
he wears board shorts instead of like the shorter shorts. Yeah,
just like you know, we're gay again, so we wear
speedos or we wear like short shorts. Yeah, but like
he wears really long board shorts with underwear underneath. Who
is doing that? Sting that? But he gets the underwear
(03:27):
wet when he gets in the water. Isn't that weird?
That's weird. What's the point I.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Just wear just wear swim shorts that look like your underwear,
like the same length as your underwear.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Then don't wear underwear. This is why the world will
never know. Straight men are strange. I don't understand. I
don't care. I'll work here, I'll say it. Here we go.
Here's another one reasons why my husband is straight. He
knows how to change the oil on a car. I
don't do that. That's such a good thing to skill.
(03:58):
And he can change the tires. I'm gay. Look at
these hands. Those hands have never seen hard labor. They
are exactly they are not doing manual labor. I am gay.
I'm not changing.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Than to look at these hands.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, look at these hands. No, I pay people to
pull my weeds. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
I'm so sorry. That's not happening in my house. Here's
one that literally makes my hair just pull out of
my head. My husband's straight because he leaves the toilet
paper roll on the windowsill and doesn't change it properly.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I am going to rage. I can feel steam coming
out of my ears. Brag his awful, and I'm going
to send I'm calling the police.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Nine one one.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
It's me again and I need to report something. Heinous
awful straight man. It just bothers me.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Guys, But why like growing up always like I never
had a boyfriend because I'm only attracted as straight man,
And now I have a straight man and I'm complaining
about it. Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Because he's not the supposed to be straight, he's supposed
to be gay.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
He is gay, but he also like he's gay and
he doesn't watch RuPaul's drag Race.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
What no, No, I'm gonna revoke his card, please do,
please do.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Here's one last one. Yeah, yeah, he is a straight
man because we have a gorgeous house, We have a
gorgeous bathroom. And he takes the towel and just like
throws it on the ground. Hi, we have a gorgeous towel.
Rack up on that again, Yes, hang it up on there?
Why do throw it on the ground? Because straight? Straight?
So those are the reasons why I'll real quick one
(05:35):
more time. All right, So these are reasons why my
gay husband is actually straight. His favorite CD in high
school was Rascal Flats. He wears cargo shorts, he wears
Nike shoes. We're gay, let's wear a fancy Chelsea boot.
My husband is straight because he drinks I p a
s duh. The gays drink vodka sodas. He still wears
(05:56):
board shorts with underwear underneath him when he goes swimming.
He knows how to change the oil. We're gay, we
don't do that. He wears the toilet paper roll out
and doesn't change the toilet paper properly. And lastly, his towel,
he throws it on the ground straight. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I love that you have some text messages that say, hey,
now I'm also a gay man and I like Rascal Flats.
I'm sorry, Yeah you're not, says that's so straight exactly you.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, yeah, all right, Well thanks Tony for that. I
always love to hear why you think your husband, who
you are married to, who is also very gay, is straight.
Tony's been married to Jason for a little while, been
together with him for fifteen years. However, Tony has a
theory that his husband is actually not gay.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
He's not, He's not. Before I start this, I gotta
give a shout out to Mom, Judy, Hi, Mama, I know,
and my mother in law Theresa is listening right now. Well,
so high to all of them. Let's get into this.
My husband straight and I am here to prove it.
Here's number one. My husband's favorite uh CD in high
(00:27):
schooler band was Rascal Flats Stop Flat so like the Highway. Yeah,
you guys, I was playing N sixty four, listened to
Brittany Christina, Yeah you know, Mandy Moore like all that.
His was Rascal Flats. Was he closeted? I think he yeah,
(00:48):
I guess I don't know. He wasn't really out, sure
he was just he was just Yeah, he's pretty straight
presenting this. I think people would know. Sure, he never
heard helps me. Flac Flats was his favorite city. That's
so straight.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Number one.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Number two, all right, this I cannot get over. My
husband is straight because he wears cargo shorts. Who wears
car We're gay? We're gay? Straight men wear cargo shirts.
You guys can have them.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And I have a question even straight men have kind
of like phased those out.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Which amen, because later on I want to have some
call and explain themselves. What do you keep it a
cargo short? Why? Too much? Honestly? Yeah, fishing hooks.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
They keep like keys and stuff in those side pockets,
and it weighs down the shorts. I like those shorts
that have like the few inches in seam, like a
five inch those are so they're like way above the knee. Man.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, so the younger age is doing that. Yeah, like
our age is like, no, that stuff's gay short shorts.
I'm not doing it. So I'm gonna do freaking cargo
shorts that are yeah stupid. Here's another one, like we're
gay so we get to have fun with her fashion.
My husband just wears keys all the time. Yeah, he's right,
come on, we're a Chelsea butt were a fancy thing.
(02:05):
Where's something like that Chelsea but has no laces on it.
It's just a boot with like the side like the
stretchiness to like where I asked my straight guy coworkers
all the time, I'm like, are these shoes gay or straight.
They're like, no, Tony, I'm not wearing those shoes, Like, okay,
these are okay shoes. So he wears nikes all the time.
That's pretty straight. Here's another one. My husband is straight
(02:28):
because he drinks I p As all the time.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Why heavy beer?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
But but like, why oh it's a hoppy beer. It's
not heavy beer. It's super happy.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I like, if you don't like beer, you will not
like an I p A because it is like the
beerriest of beer ever.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
We're gay. We drink fox sodas that is in our
expresso martini. Yeah, he drinks I pas. That's it's so true.
Me from work, he goes rocks in my pockets see
cargo shorts. Yeah, Germany, All right, here we go. He
(03:03):
still wears board shorts to go swimming with underwear. What. Yeah,
he wears board shorts instead of like the shorter shorts. Yeah,
just like you know, we're gay again, so we wear
speedos or we wear like short shorts. Yeah, but like
he wears really long board shorts with underwear underneath. Who
is doing that? Sting that? But he gets the underwear
(03:27):
wet when he gets in the water. Isn't that weird?
That's weird. What's the point I.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Just wear just wear swim shorts that look like your underwear,
like the same length as your underwear.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Then don't wear underwear. This is why the world will
never know. Straight men are strange. I don't understand. I
don't care. I'll work here, I'll say it. Here we go.
Here's another one reasons why my husband is straight. He
knows how to change the oil on a car. I
don't do that. That's such a good thing to skill.
(03:58):
And he can change the tires. I'm gay. Look at
these hands. Those hands have never seen hard labor. They
are exactly they are not doing manual labor. I am gay.
I'm not changing.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Than to look at these hands.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, look at these hands. No, I pay people to
pull my weeds. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
I'm so sorry. That's not happening in my house. Here's
one that literally makes my hair just pull out of
my head. My husband's straight because he leaves the toilet
paper roll on the windowsill and doesn't change it properly.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I am going to rage. I can feel steam coming
out of my ears. Brag his awful, and I'm going
to send I'm calling the police.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Nine one one.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
It's me again and I need to report something. Heinous
awful straight man. It just bothers me.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Guys, But why like growing up always like I never
had a boyfriend because I'm only attracted as straight man,
And now I have a straight man and I'm complaining
about it. Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Because he's not the supposed to be straight, he's supposed
to be gay.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
He is gay, but he also like he's gay and
he doesn't watch RuPaul's drag Race.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
What no, No, I'm gonna revoke his card, please do,
please do.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Here's one last one. Yeah, yeah, he is a straight
man because we have a gorgeous house, We have a
gorgeous bathroom. And he takes the towel and just like
throws it on the ground. Hi, we have a gorgeous towel.
Rack up on that again, Yes, hang it up on there?
Why do throw it on the ground? Because straight? Straight?
So those are the reasons why I'll real quick one
(05:35):
more time. All right, So these are reasons why my
gay husband is actually straight. His favorite CD in high
school was Rascal Flats. He wears cargo shorts, he wears
Nike shoes. We're gay, let's wear a fancy Chelsea boot.
My husband is straight because he drinks I p a
s duh. The gays drink vodka sodas. He still wears
(05:56):
board shorts with underwear underneath him when he goes swimming.
He knows how to change the oil. We're gay, we
don't do that. He wears the toilet paper roll out
and doesn't change the toilet paper properly. And lastly, his towel,
he throws it on the ground straight. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
I love that you have some text messages that say, hey,
now I'm also a gay man and I like Rascal Flats.
I'm sorry, Yeah you're not, says that's so straight exactly you.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, yeah, all right, Well thanks Tony for that. I
always love to hear why you think your husband, who
you are married to, who is also very gay, is straight.
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