Kerre Woodham: Exactly what kind of work will Darleen Tana do now?

So there she was yesterday, 2pm House of Parliament, one Darleen Tana.

Bold as brass as Sister Mary Claire would have said, sitting up the back in the naughty girl's seat lonely as Herb Alpert’s bull.

Well, until the leader of Te Pati Maori came by and dropped a hongi on her, or them sorry, she's now a they/them, because she never walks alone.

So the leader of Te Pati Maori came by, dropped the hongi on the lonely bull, but after that they were on their own. Alone. Powerless. Party-less. And as useless as the tits on the aforementioned Herb Alpert's lonely bull.

To recap, Darleen Tana was elected as a list MP for the Greens, she was stood down while an investigation was conducted and to what they knew of migrant exploitation in their husband's business and what she had divulged to the Green Party.

They spent longer on leave than they did on the job, and when the review was finally completed, they resigned before they could be sacked by the Green Party.

Their party urged them to shove off out of Parliament completely, as did Labour leader Chris Hipkins, but no. Darleen Tana played fast and loose, refused to say whether they would resign from Parliament, and the will they/won’t they question was finally settled, it appears, when they plonked themselves in the back row of the parliamentary chamber as an independent MP.

“They have work to do,” they said. “I'm here now and doing the mahi as long as this place allows me,” were the exact words. “It's been a long time out and I've been very keen to do the mahi. I'm pleased to be back and I'm determined to continue serving the people,” which is all very noble.

But exactly what kind of work will they do? Sam, Mike Hosking’s producer, said they replied by text to that question with “I'm honestly just keen to knuckle down and get on with the work. I'm determined to do oceans' protection justice. Thx again for reaching out.”

So, oceans' protection justice. Well, heavens knows the oceans need protecting. There also might be a wee bit of self-interest at play here.

Now that Tana’s husband, Christian Hoff Nielsen can no longer bring home the Danish pastries given his business has gone into liquidation, someone has to be earning a crust.

I would have thought, given Ms Tana’s impressive resume, and despite the hoo-hah over their ignominious, albeit brief time in Parliament, she'd be able to find a good paying job somewhere, but it appears not. Might be hard work finding a job when you've already got one.

Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and if you've planted your buttocks to the back of a leather seat in the parliamentary chamber, good as gold, you’ve got the job. They are staying put. And do you know what for the next 2 1/2 years, we will get the benefit of Ms Tana’s mahi on oceans' protection justice. Lucky, lucky oceans, lucky, lucky Kiwis. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to the carry wood of morning's podcast from
news Talk set B.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
So there she was yesterday two pm. House of Parliament one,
Darlene Tana Bold as brass Is system Mary Claire would
have said, sitting up the back in the naughty girl's seat,
lonely as her bealpits bull lit by a Wesa wow

(00:46):
until the leader of Tete Patimuri came by and dropped
a honey on her or them. Sorry, she's nowaday them
because she never walks alone. Sorry. So the leader of
Tete Patimuri came by dropped the honey on the lonely bull.
But after that they were on their own alone, powerless,

(01:12):
partyless and as useless as the tits on the aforementioned
her belpits lonely bull. To recap darling, Tana was elected
as a list MP for the Greens. She was stood
down while an investigation was conducted into what they knew
of migrant exploitation in their husband's business and what she

(01:35):
had divulged to the Green Party. She spent longer on
leave than she ever did on the job. I mean
they spent longer on leave than they did on the job.
And when the review was finally completed. They resigned before
they could be sacked by the Green Party. Their party
urged them to shove off out of parliament completely, as

(01:59):
did Labor leader Chris Hipkins, but not Darling. Tana played
fast and loose, refuse to say whether they would resign
from parliament and the will they won't they question was
finally settled. It appears when they plucked themselves in the
back row of the Parliamentary Chamber is an independent MP.

(02:20):
They have work to do. They said, I'm here now
and doing the mahi as long as this place allows me.
With the exact words, It's been a long time out
and I've been very keen to do the mahi. I'm
pleased to be back and I'm determined to continue serving

(02:41):
the people. Whare chairs all very noble, But exactly what
kind of work will they do? Sam Mike Cosking's producer
said they replied to text by text to that question
with I'm honestly just keen to knuckle down and get
on with the work. I'm determined to do ocean's protection justice.

(03:06):
Thanks with an X again for reaching out so Ocean's
protection justice. While heavens knows the oceans need protecting. There
also might be a wee bit of self interest at
play here. Now that Tana's husband, Christian hoff Neilson Cone

(03:30):
no longer bring home the Danish pastries given his business
has gone into liquidation, some one has to be earning
a crust. I would have thought, given Miss Tanner's impressive resume,
and despite the hohuhah over their ignominious, albeit brief time
in parliament, shar'd be able to find a good paying

(03:50):
job somewhere. But it appears not. Might be hard work
finding a job when you've already got one. Possession is
nine tenths of the law. And if you've planted yip
Atox into the back seat of a leather seat in
the parliamentary chamber, God is gold, You've got the job.

(04:11):
They are staying put and do you know what, for
the next two and a half years we will get
the benefit of Ms Tanner's mucky on ocean's protection justice,
Lucky lucky oceans, Lucky lucky Kiwi's always an excuse to

(05:03):
play per velvet. The Lonely Ball can be Darling Tanna's
theme song throughout.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
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