Kerre Woodham: The sewage and filth that fills social media after a tragedy

I said yesterday when I left you at midday that I thought I'd brought you one of the nicest stories that we'd done all year, which you clearly loved, and one of the saddest. The nicest: the interview with the musical director of the Auckland Pasifika Secondary Schools Choir, the choir who sang the national anthems for New Zealand and South Africa at Eden Park. The saddest: the shooting of a police officer, the fatal shooting of Tom Phillips, and the recovery of three children who had spent four years being force marched through rugged bush by their father.  

What made it sadder still was the bile and the sewage that filled the text machine and social media and is still doing so. You probably never see this sort of thing, and I'm glad for you. You don't know the inner workings of some of your fellow New Zealanders' minds. People that you might work with or play sport with, or heaven forfend live with, because you can choose to disengage. And you should, you absolutely should. It chips away at your soul when you read some of the stuff. Just how much some men loathe women. How much some men loathe authority. Who think shooting a police officer is justified. Who think the old “if I can't have her, nobody else can” trope that sees so many ex-partners end up dead, and in this case, “if I can't have them, nobody else can have the children, they can't see anybody else but me” - who think that's justified. Maybe in the fullness of time, when all the details come out, the angry men might think differently. I would hope so.   

And you always get the superheroes after every tragedy. Pike River, the Rena, Whakaari-White Island. Every single time, you get the superheroes who would have put their underpants on over their trousers and would have solved the situation earlier, and quicker, and more expediently, and they knew what to do and they'd have saved more lives. This case is no different. There are so many people who think they would have found Phillips and the children with just their knowledge of the stars, a bit of beef jerky and a good dog. And possibly they could have. But there was so much more at play here, as the Police Commissioner told Mike Hosking this morning.  

RC: We have always been very, very concerned, Mike. We knew that we were dealing with an armed, a dangerous, and a very motivated individual in Mr. Phillips. And we had to be very, very cautious about the approach that we have taken. You know, that played out yesterday morning in a way that we suspected it could, which is not something that any of us wanted, but our assessment of the situation over the last four years has been spot on. And, and that was shown yesterday morning when we confronted, Mr. Phillips, he shot one of my staff and, and we, we had to return fire. And, we have always been concerned that may be exactly what occurred, and of course that may also involve, the children.  

MH: The thing that's bugged me the whole time is this community thing whereby somehow this guy's a hero, or he's allowed to do what he wants to do, or he's, I don't understand that. Do you deal with that? Is that common in rural New Zealand?  

RC: You mean in respect of Mr. Phillips?  

MH: Yeah.  

RC: He's not a hero.  

There will be inquiries. There'll be reviews of processes, of how things could have been done differently and possibly better, and that says it should be. But I don't know how you speak to, connect with the men who are so angry, so alienated, so self-pitying, that they think the shooting of a police officer is justified, and taking three children hostage in the bush for four years is the action of a loving father.

I mean, already here it is. “How can you defend the cops? They shot a father dead in front of his child. That child will be screwed up for life”, says Ben.

You don't think that perhaps four years on the run in the bush might have done something to them? God knows what he was telling them. You don't think the fact that he pulled out a gun and shot a cop might have been the reason he ended up dead in front of his child?

See, this is what I mean? That isn't the action of a loving father.

The loving dads, the hero dads, in my mind, are the ones who put their own anger and their sense of grievance behind them, and who turn up and show up for their kids, who accept the kids aren't their property, that children have a wider community of family and friends who love them and who the kids deserve to be around. They're the hero dads.

So often on the radio, I only hear from the 2%. It's a well-known stat that of the 100% of people who list

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to the Carrywood and Mornings podcast from News Talks.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
He'd be I said yesterday when I left you at midday,
that I thought I'd brought you one of the nicest
stories that we've done all year, in which you clearly loved,
and one of the saddest. The nicest the interview with
the musical director of the Auckland pacifica secondary school's choir,
the choir who sang the national anthems for New Zealand

(00:31):
and South Africa at Eden Park. The saddest the shooting
of a police officer, the fatal shooting of Tom Phillips,
and the recovery of three children who had spent four
years being forced marched through rugged bush by their father.
What made it saddest still was the bile and the

(00:51):
sewage that filled the text machine in social media and
is still doing so. You probably never see this sort
of thing, and I'm glad for you. You don't know the
inner workings of some of your fellow zeland As minds,
people that you might work with, or play sport with,
or heaven for friend to live with, because you can

(01:15):
choose to disengage, and you should, You absolutely should get
chips away your soul when you read some of this stuff.
Just how much some men loathe women, how much some

(01:36):
men loathe authority, who think shooting a police officer is justified,
who think the old if I can't have a nobody
else can trope that sees so many ex partners end
up dead play out in the in this case, if
I can't have them, nobody else can have the children.

(01:56):
They can't see anybody else but me, who think that's justified.
Maybe in the fullness of time, when all the details
come out, the angry men might think differently. I would
hope so. And you always get the superheroes after every tragedy,

(02:18):
like River, the Riena Facadi, White Island, every single time,
you get the superheroes who would have put their underpants
on over their trousers and would have solved the situation
earlier and quicker and more expediently, and they knew what
to do, and they'd have saved more lives. This case
is no different. There are so many people who think

(02:38):
they would have found Phillips and the children with just
their knowledge of the stars, a bit of beef jerky,
and a good dog, and possibly they could have. But
there was so much more at play here. As the
police commissioner told Mike Costing this morning, we have.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Always been very very concerned, Mike. We knew that we
were dealing with an armed, a dangerous and a very
motivated individual in mister Phillips, and we had to be
very very cautious about their coach that we have taken.
You know, that played out yesterday morning in a way
that we suspected it could, which is not something that

(03:13):
any of us wanted. But our assessment of the situation
over the last four years has been spot on and
that was shown yesterday morning when we confronted mister Phillips.
He shot one of my staff and we had to
return fire. And we have always been concerned that may
be exactly what occurred, and of course that may also

(03:35):
involve the children.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
The thing that's bugged me the whole time is this
community thing whereby somehow this guy is a hero or
is allowed to do what he wants to do or
I don't understand that. Do you deal with that? Is
that common in rural New Zealand?

Speaker 3 (03:51):
You mean in respect of mister Phillips, Yeah, he's not
a hero.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
No, that was police Commissioner Richard Chambers with Mike Coskin
this morning. There will be inquiries, there will be reviews
of processes, of how things could have been done differently
and possibly better, And that says it should be. But
I don't know how you speak to connect with the

(04:21):
men who are so angry, so alienated, so self pitying
that they think the shooting of a police officer is
justified and taking three children hostage in the bush for
four years is the action of a loving father. I mean,
already here it is. How can you defend the cops.

(04:46):
They shot a father dead in front of his child.
That child will be screwed up for life, says Ben.
You don't think that perhaps four years on the run
in the bush might have done something to them. God
knows what he was telling them. You don't think the
fact that he pulled out a gun and shot a
cop might have been the reason he ended up dead
in front of his child. Already, see, this is what

(05:07):
I mean. That is not the action of a loving father.
The loving dads, the hero dads, in my mind, are
the ones who put their own anger and their sense
of grievance behind them and who turn up and show
up for their kids, who accept the kids aren't their property,

(05:27):
that children have a wider community of family and friends
who love them and who the kids deserve to be around.
They're the hero dads. So often on the radio, I
only hear from the two percent. It's a well known
stat that of the one hundred percent of people who

(05:49):
listen to talk back radio, only two percent will ever ring.
I think the stats are probably higher. I haven't seen those.
For those who text, it would be amazing today if
the reasonable people, the rational people, the ones who appreciate
our police, and the ones who know what it is
to swallow your pride, to swallow your grievance, to swallow

(06:11):
you hurt, who know what it is to be a
good mum or a good dad, took the time to
ring in text. It would be really lovely if you
used your voices today.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
For more from Carrywood and Mornings, listen live to news
Talks it'd be from nine am weekdays, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio.