Bridgette Tapsell: Family friend of Nigel Latta speaks following his death

Kiwi psychologist author and broadcaster Nigel Latta is being remembered for his relatability - and lasting impact.

He died yesterday - a year after being diagnosed with stomach cancer.

Family friend Bridgette Tapsell joined the Afternoons team to reflect. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from news Talk zed B.
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Speaker 2 (00:17):
So very sad news broke this morning that Key we psychologist,
author and broadcaster Nigel Latter died yesterday, a year after
being diagnosed with stomach cancer. He leaves behind his wife
Natalie Flynn, daughter Arena, son Kieren, and three step children, Elijah,
Maya and Leon. Bridget Tapsell is family spokesperson and also
Natalie's best friend, and she joins us on the line now, Bridget,

(00:39):
good afternoon to you and our deepest condolences to you
and the family.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Oh, Jena QUADAA thank you.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
When you think back on your friendship with Nigel, what's
the first memory that pops into your mind?

Speaker 3 (00:55):
For me personally? He went over and above what friends
normally do for me and my family in a situation
that was really sticky and uncomfortable, and he went out
on a limb for us and he was Yeah, he
advocated for a situation and he was brave and it

(01:19):
turned the situation around massively for us personally. That's the
type of human he is. He he was driven by
his galues and he stood by his Zalius and he
lives by Xalius. A very very special human, a person
who was well Maria, I would say, call Year, Dad,

(01:42):
call Year. He was love and love with Nigel and
a man of love. Yeah, and I feel right at
the moment if I look at the response from the
Prime Minister and all the responses that are happening around
the country, and as Natalie said, she feels like old

(02:02):
titlor is giving Nigel one huge hug right now. And
that's because of the man who he was.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Yeah, what was Nigel like away from from the camera?
And you know, people people like Tyler and I we
only know him from from enjoying his television shows and
reading his books. What was he like away from from
the camera and the public eye, bridget he was.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
He was a very kind person, just very laid back
and obviously very very well known. So like if you
we'd go out for dinner, there would always be lots
of people would approach him and talk to him. He
had that kind of or about him. People wanted to
connect with him from seeing him on TV, from his

(02:47):
parenting shows, but after a while you actually forgot he
was famous because he was just he was a humble human,
very real, very focused on other people, not focused on him. Uh.
He was egoless. Yeah, a fantastic human. You would have
you would have loved his company, honestly, would have. He

(03:10):
would have made you both feel like you were the
most important before in the room. That's you gift. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
Yeah, I was ucky enough to interview a couple of times,
but yeah, and he was. He was lovely on those occasions. Now,
Nigel made You've got to say, he made psychology, which
is reasonally complex, complex ideas relatable to a lot of
New Zealanders in your opinion, What made him such a
good communicator of all these complex ideas well?

Speaker 3 (03:40):
I actually would you know. Obviously I hit him and
Netalie on tap and Netalie's a psychologist as well, so
I had firsten experience of what it was like to
wring him up and say, hey, I've got this parenting problem.
What do you think? And he was just he just
didn't muck around like he would just get straight to
the point you know this is he was just black

(04:03):
and white. Compassionate of course, but just very pragmatic. And
I think for me that's what was very relatable, and
that's what I think the nation was relating to is
like there was nothing fluffy or nothing that you couldn't
sort of go, oh, that actually makes sense. Oh, and
I actually have some practical advice to walk away with

(04:24):
and make some positive change in my family and in
my children. And that's I mean, I mean you, I'm
sure you've seen his programs at DAM and that's probably
what you've saught as well. And that's that's he had
just the ability to connect to other people and communicate
in a way that wasn't too highbrow. You know, that

(04:45):
was just very you can understand them basically. Yeah, that's
that's kind of was my personal experience.

Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah, I definitely came through in the way you experienced.
And he seems very similar on as broadcasting as in
his writing as he was to you in person. Now
I just started speaking of his writing. I just started
reading his new book, Lessens on Living, and you know,
it starts off with some pretty hor stories of you know,
time he spent with people that have done some pretty

(05:13):
horrific things. He he he had to deal with a
lot of that that that serious, horrible dark side of society,
crime and murder and parenting gone wrong. But he was
also very funny. How did that did that? Did that
stuff affect him? Because it would be hard to keep

(05:34):
that completely out of out of your your life when
you're you're doing that that sort of stuff professionally.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
I mean, I I didn't see any sign of that
affecting him. I felt that he was able to. I mean,
I think when you're an empathetic critician, you're able to
put the darkness of life into context, a way to context,
and he obviously had the ability to do that. So yeah,

(06:01):
he was his his ah, I think parkd his his
being was always so positive, you know, it was always
so up. It was also so hopeful, always so optimistic.
You know of anybody who know I think you know,

(06:22):
you can't escape some of the shadows of life. So
that was a reality. But you know, it depends what
you focus on. And so I learned from him that
it is what depends what you focus on, like focus
on the good, focus on the beauty, focus on the positivity.
And he was testament to that. That's how he lived.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
The honesty and that pragmatism that he showed Bridget when
he was diagnosed clearly resonated with so so many people
in New Zealand who are going through a similar thing
and provided them comfort because it was so honest and
and that philosophy and as you say, that pragmatism that
he was he was so talented at. When the message

(07:02):
messages I no doubt started flooding in from people going
through something similar, how did Nigel and the thing deal
with it.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
With grace and with dignity and with understanding, you know,
I mean that's I mean, I've never had cancer, so
I don't know that. I can only imagine how difficult
that is to navigate. Yeah, so he did it with humility,
strength and dignity and very honest communications within in a circle.

(07:37):
But having said that, though, the communication was always very optimistic,
and so last week when he went to the oncologist
on Wednesday, he went with optimism like he wasn't probably expecting,
you know, to find out that there was no there
was nothing else that could be done. So yeah, right

(07:58):
up until the last week, he was optimistic.

Speaker 4 (08:02):
So you know, I think I've you've answered this sort
of throughout your your answers to our questions, But how
much of a gap do you think he will leave
in the country and then your personal life.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
Bridget, I mean it's absolutely huge. I mean there's just
nobody like Angel Letter personally. For Natalie, I mean it's
a mass and under family and the children, it's an
undescribable loss. Yeah. And for me, I mean, gosh, I

(08:36):
didn't sleep last night so hard. It's hard to it's
hard to take the news, to be honest, I was,
like everybody else in this country, just hoping that he
was going to be a run for a lot longer.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
Well, look, thank you so much for talking to us,
and look so sorry for you for your loss there, Bridget.
He was, as you say, at great human, great communicator, communicator,
and he sounds like a great friend too. So yeah,
I'm going to say so if you're.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Lost, thank you very much, Bridget. Yeah, lots of love
to you and to Natalie and the family as well.
That is Bridget Tepsil our close family friends of Natalie
and Nigel, speaking about the said loss of Nigel Letter.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
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