Full Show Podcast: 22 October 2025

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk zed B.
Follow this and our Wide Ranger podcasts now on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello you, great New Zealanders. Welcome to Matt and Tyler
Full Show Podcast number two seven for the twenty second
of October. She's a Wednesday, and what a great show
it was. If you're looking forward to the chat on geez,
what chat do we have to drop weird pets in
New Zealand because people in the Wellington area have been

(00:39):
told not to get pet possums. We don't get to
that because the other chats blew up.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Yeah again again.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Again, our chats blow up. But we'll get to that
one tomorrow. But yeah, I particularly like the chats at
the end of the show on not letting your kids
when a very good time was had by all or
potentially just me.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
Some great calls absolutely and Jean, watch out for Jean.
Geena is a beauty.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Wait for the shotgun, a phone call and just to
skit just everything fires down the phone by Jean.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yep, the busiest woman in New Zealand by the sounds
of it, had a lot of going on.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
A lot on Yeah, some robots in there. There's all
kinds of stuff yeap.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
So download, subscribe and give us a great review.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Please give a taste of Kiwi or are you seeing busy?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Love you?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
The big stories, the leg issues, the big trends and
everything in between. Matty's and Taylor Adams Afternoons News.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Talk said me, very good afternoon. Do you welcome into
Wednesday show show? Hope you're doing well. We're eve you're
listening in the country. Great day of your company as always,
Thanks for giving us a listen.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Get a mate, and now Tyler, you're taking my dog.
You're babysitting my dog for the weekend because I'm going
away tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
It's a big moment relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, it is. Our friendship's moving up to another level.
It shows how much I trust you.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
Thank you, mate, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
After a year working with you as a co host,
I now trust you with my dog. So Colin's reasonably.
He's a pretty simple dog. There's no fuss. Okay, see
he'll come worth his bed.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
He'll come with his special bikies. Okay, he'll come with
his special teeth treats.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
He's got teeth treats. The dental sticks, yep, you d
sticks and pepper have one of those yep, okay, news
for Pepper.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
I'll send extra runs for Pepper.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
What you've got to do is this game I play
with Colin every day. I get his dental treat and
I pretend to eat it. Yep, and I go, you
young Colin, and he goes. He sits down and looks
at me, terrified and confused and can't believe that I'm
going to eat his dental treat every day.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
It's a great game.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Every day he looks sad, and then I give it
to him and he's very grateful.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
You need me to film that interaction. I'm just I'll
trust you to do it, Okay, Yeah, yeah, trust trust me.
I'm definitely going to do that.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
I trust your acting skills to convince my dog that
you are going to eat his street.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
There's a lot of appreciate here, but I know I
can live up to it.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
And and I'll give you enough poop bags to last
the weekend.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Place about four a day for a day. What's in
this kibble that you're feeding up? Fruit in there or something?

Speaker 2 (03:05):
He's regular and healthy.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
Yeah that's good now, Okay, just a quick couple of
questions for you, ye Can I give him some various treats?

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Can you have a little bit of chicken?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah? I love it.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
A little bit of dried beef? Oh absolutely, here's a
big one for you. Can he have a pizzle? I
don't know what a pizzle is. I'm going to keep
this clean. It is a dried ball appendage, but it's amazing.
So you can have one of those, okay, yeah, because
otherwise he's going to watch people with her pizzle and
he's going to say, what's going on here?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
You just just make sure you put his beards somewhere
nice with a good view, and.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
He can be right in front of the fire that
this is going to go well, mate, you can trust me.
Look yeah, right on to today's ard to.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Hearing the adventures of Tyler and Colin.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
It's people going to write a book about it after
three o'clock. Speaking of pits, let's have a chat about pits.
We love them in New Zealand, no doubt about our
cats and dogs. They have been humanities companions for centuries
and centuries, but lately more people are reaching for something
a bit different, something about it because unusual and even
wild animals as pets and Wellington. The council is sounding

(04:14):
the alarm about one particular problematic pets. This is the
brushtail possum. It turns out a few people are taking
in brushtail possums to have as pets, and they say,
well they might look cuddly, they certainly are cuddly. Possums
are pests, They damage native wildlife, and the council wants
people to stop adopting them.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, so someone was asked. An English person was once
asked what's the big difference between Australians and New Zealanders
And this person came back and said, Australians think possums
are cute, and Kiwi's will immediately try and kill any
possum that they see.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah, that is a very apt description.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
So is the brushtail possum just the common possum that
runs around New Zealand?

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Ye right, so super cuddly, yeah, super fluffy. But you're right,
there is something ingrained in our psyche that we see
a possum, you're going to take it down like any Yeah,
any way you can kill it.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Well, whatever you got, what have you got, strangle it,
punch it, whatever you want anything.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
That is part of being a citizen of this country.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Because they do terrible things to our flora and fauna.
But it sort of makes you think about the other
pets that people have, because we're very focused on having
dogs or cats in this country. But we want to
have a chat about other pets. If you can't have
a possum, what kind of other interesting pets have you
got out there? You're running a hedgehog? You got it?

(05:32):
Just a pig clooney styles. What are you running? We
want to talk interesting pets after three.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Looking forward to that after two o'clock. We were going
to get to this yesterday, but we had so much
AI chat which was great, that this is going to
be great as well. Eugen Klop Jugen rather Klop a
longtime Liverpool manager and widely regarded as one of the
greatest football managers of all time. He recently shared insights
about his upbringing in an interview on a podcast, and

(05:59):
he described his childhood home is shaped by a loving
mum but also a very confident dad, and he said
his old man had big expectations. He wanted to be
successful in life and in sport, to the point where
he would never ever let a Jurgen win any family
in competitions unless he was good enough to win them
in his own right.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, we want to talk about this because I think
it's crucial. It's crucial that you never let your kids win.
It's crucial that they have to earn their successes.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Absolutely, it's crucial to be honest with your kids and
build resilience and make them competent to face the world
where you're not just handed everything.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
That's going to be a good chat after talk speaking
of which isn't it?

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Isn't it Jorgen Jurgen, Jergen Jurgen? Are you sure it's Yergen?

Speaker 3 (06:47):
I'm sure it's Jrgen.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Are you sure?

Speaker 3 (06:50):
Let's ah, fantastic, there was a Jurgen who called yesterday
that Jgen.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, so Jergen can call himself whatever he wants.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
If you're German, please ring through Jurgen Jrgen Jorgen En.
There's four options ab r D let us know.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
But we're all agreed on klop. That's fine.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's sortied. But that is after two
o'clock because right now we want to have a chat
about retirement and how much money you may or may
not need and what are you actually needing your retirement.
A recent study from Massi University reveals that for a
couple seeking a comfortable lifestyle in one of New Zealand's
major cities that's christ Huge, Auckland or Wellington, a nest
egg of over a million dollars might be necessary. Even

(07:32):
a modest, no frills lifestyle could require hundreds of thousands
of dollars in savings. Lead author Associate Professor Clear Matthews.
We're going to have a chat with her after one thirty,
by the way, she said. With rising costs like council
rates and daily expenses outpacing the New Zealand superannuation, many
retirees find themselves topping up their income by almost one
thousand bucks a week.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
If this is crazy to me, I can't quite get
my head around it, Associate Professor Clear Matthews, As you
said so. In the research they found that food costs
are outpacing inflation and council rates a growing burden. And
the rates issue has absolutely huge because you can own
your own house and if rates are going up forty
nine percent over the last three years, like they are
in some places forty seven percent, then you know forty

(08:15):
seven percent and Wellington.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Right, yeah, so that is that that.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Is insane, especially with what Wellington Council is doing with
that money. Very true, But so the study calculated how
much retirees must have saved to fund these gaps. Single
person Metro one hundred and eighty one thousand for no thrills,
retirement two hundred and seventy three thousand for choices. So
I guess choices is you know, you can buy your

(08:40):
grandkids dinner every now and then, maybe do a bit
of an overseas trip or something. I don't know. A
single person Provincial forty six thousand, no thrills, two hundred
and fifty two thousand for choices, and two person household
Metro more than a million dollars for choices, two person
household Provincial four hundred and fifty thousand for choices. So
what do we actually need and what do we mean

(09:01):
by choices? Right? A few luxuries, you know, a lifestyle
that that that is that gives you meaning as you
get older. Yeah, I mean is that money? I mean
I think it's not all money, is it. I think
a lot of that would be community and you know,
and and social connections, right, it would be would be

(09:21):
in social connections and community are free.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Definitely, and can you have I'm gonna phrase this correctly
because I don't want to be disparaging to anyone who
has to have that no frills retirement, because there will
be a lot of people out there that have to
face that. But ideally, you do want to have some
choices once you get into retirement, because that's the whole point, right.
You work your butt off for that forty to fifty
years before you get to that point that finally you

(09:46):
can have a breather and maybe do some of the
things that you always wanted to do, whether that's a
bit of travel or at least have a comfortable existence
in retirement.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah, I mean, is that what you need? I don't know.
As I was saying before, I think a dream retirement
for me. And look, if you're retired, and this comes
across this naive, I think you don't want to be
obsessing about your security in terms of whether you can
need up on the street or starving. Right, Yeah, so
you want to know you've got enough food and you've
got somewhere to live, right, Yeah, that's that's primary, right,

(10:16):
And then you feel safe and that you feel that
if the medical emergency comes along that you can then
then then you can probably cover it.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah right, yep. They would be the big worries of yeah,
everyday life.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
And then after that, give me a one one two
five of gin and a widescreen TV to watch sport
and some grand kids to help out with.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
You're easy to please, mate. No travel for you, but
a bungee jump in maybe.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
I don't know. I guess like, I mean maybe maybe,
But the travel would be nice, but I don't need it.
It's someway to volunteer to help out. Yeah, you know,
give give me some gloves to wash the dishes in
the Rugby Cup club kitchen or something.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yeah, you've got it all worked out. This seexally sounds
like a really nice retirement for you.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (10:57):
I know.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
So we put all the pressure on ourselves and we
go out over time. It needs to be amazing. We
need to be visiting the Pyramids of Geezer. I don't know,
we need to get up to much, you pitch you. Yeah,
we need to I don't know, spend a month living
in the cotswotz. Yeah, but is that what happiness and
retirement is? As long as you secure you've got enough

(11:20):
food and if an emergency comes, you can pay. You know,
you've got some kind of health insurance going or you know,
and then you've got some social connection and you've got
a Sky subscription. Let's go.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Yeah, oh, eight one hundred eighty ten eighty is the
number to call if you're looking to head to your retirement.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Need a million for that?

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah, you know, you don't really keen to hear from
you about what you think you actually need in your
retirement and how much money do you think you'll need?
Are you like Matt that you're just happy with a
Sky subscription in a bottle of Gordon's Gin? Or do
you have these big lofty goals of going to much
you peat? You and do you think that's really going
to be realistic?

Speaker 2 (11:55):
And before we put this topic to bed, Angela, you've
got some information for us. Hello, Hello, Angela, You've got
some information for us on a particular pronunciation.

Speaker 6 (12:07):
I believe, Yes, Jurgen is the name, not.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
J Come on, Matt, play the game, so Jurgen Clop, It's.

Speaker 7 (12:18):
Definitely Jurgen Klop is the German name.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
Jurgen Klop.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Did you say Jurgen Clop Jurgen.

Speaker 8 (12:26):
Not not Jurgen.

Speaker 9 (12:28):
It's Jurgen Jurgen.

Speaker 6 (12:31):
Or no as if you if you're talking in English,
as if.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
It's a y yes, okay, y oh g Jrgen.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Okay, got it? Thank you, Thank you so much, Angela,
thank you so much for clearing that up. For appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
We needed that. So where do we end up there, jen.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Ergen Klop, We ended up where we started?

Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yeah, fantastic, Thank you very much, Angela. Right, oh, one
hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number to call retirement.
How do you think it's going to look for you?
How much money do you think you'll need? And what
do you actually need outside of money? Do you just
need those social cannitions and and you could happily have
a no frills retirement. Love to hear from you.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
I mean, the biggest issue for me with Jurgen is
his teeth.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Huge.

Speaker 3 (13:17):
I mean it's free healthcare in Germany. It's no excuse,
huge jobbers, come on, Yugen, the.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Big stories, the big issues, the big trends and everything
in between. Matt Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons used talks.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
It'd be a very good afternoon to you. It's twenty
one past one. I've got to say the old Jurgen,
Jurgen Jorgan has has kicked off, and now there's been
some questions about how to how to pronounce.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
I think the biggest problem for you is that you
answered the phone from Angela Yeah, to discuss Jurgen, yeah,
or Jurgen. But wouldn't she.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Be angler angler? Yeah, like angler if she was German?

Speaker 10 (13:55):
Right?

Speaker 3 (13:56):
So stuffed up on two accounts here.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, No, Well you were right about the Jurgen.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yes, I've got a named Jugen.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
But but Angela I really stuffed up.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Because when we answered the phone, she didn't say anything,
but so she rang in to sort your pronunciation out
and then got mispronounced herself.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
The hesitation is everything we needed to hear pronunciation.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
Thank you for any anyway, Let's put Jugan to be
a bit yes, big chompers.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
We'll come back to that at two o'clock because there's
plenty of to digest. But let's get back to retirement.
We've had so many texts come through A nine to
nine two.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, O one hundred and eighteen eighty is the number?
What do you actually really need for retirement? Because all
this here is just figures and numbers. But what does
it actually mean to have a meaningful retirement? Is it
all about one million one point three million for a
choices two person household metro retirement? Hi, guys, says this text.
I'm retiring next year at sixty five, and have done

(14:51):
my maths on having a two point four million in,
having two point four million invested and living on about
one hundred and thirty k per anim after tax. That
should give me choices and lifestyle chairs Adam absolutely well.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
And then some one hundred and thirty k after text.
That is a good lifestyle.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
I mean, no one knows how long they're going to
live though, so yeah, no, I mean, I mean, I'm like,
I think I think we can all agree. If you've
got two point four million, Yeah, then you're sweet ass mate, exactly,
You're gonna be fine. Yeah, You're gonna have choices whatever. Well, no,
you're not necessarily if you don't get the other stuff going.
That's the I'm missing my own point here. So if you,

(15:29):
if you, if you, you can have the two point
four but if you don't have meaningful activities and goals
and your physical health and community and social connection. I
guess community and social connection are kind of kind of
the same thing. And and I don't know, just a
sense of peace. I mean, you could spend your retirement

(15:49):
with two point four million dollars just getting increasingly angry
at YouTube clips.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
It's a very good point, and a lot of people
seem to do that. Yeah. Oh, eight one hundred eighty
ten eighty is the number to call him. Hello, get Ann, Hi, Hello,
how are you.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Okay?

Speaker 11 (16:09):
I just want to tell you that ugan j you
but the U has got two dots on top, which
make makes it urgan. Yeah. If there's two dots on top,
it's Ugen. If there's no two dots on top of

(16:32):
the you, it would be.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
You Organ, Okay, but it is.

Speaker 11 (16:37):
Urgen Jay you two dots on top of the U.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
R G E N beautifully explaining. So what about what
about Angela or Angler?

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Anger?

Speaker 3 (16:53):
Angler? Angler? Angler?

Speaker 11 (16:55):
No, no, no, no, no, let's go carefully, okay, Angler angler yea?

Speaker 2 (17:02):
What horrible name? Angler?

Speaker 11 (17:04):
Horrible?

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Angler?

Speaker 2 (17:07):
Yeah, you'd want to flip over to Angela. It sounds
much better as angela. Well it you spell it the
same as angela, don't you.

Speaker 11 (17:15):
That's correct?

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yeah, yeah, Okay, I'll tell you what. If I was Angela,
I wouldn't be I wouldn't want to be angulate.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
That's off, g is what you need.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
I've got nothing a burglar. I've got nothing against Merkel.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
But she was a fine, fine leader. The name was
just about harsh. Yeah, anyway, but man, you've got a
beautiful name and a beautiful accent and you'll explain that beautifully.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, thank you so much for for your call. But
as I said, let's put Jurgen and there's big chompers,
beautiful Turkish chompers to bed.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Yeah, there will be plenty of time for that after
two o'clock because there's so many people wont to have
a chat about retirement. But we're going to play some
messages and Jeene is on the line and it sounds
like she's thought heavily about this. We're gonna have a
chet to her next. It is twenty point past one.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yean, is that yan or Jean?

Speaker 12 (17:58):
Oh?

Speaker 13 (17:58):
No?

Speaker 1 (18:02):
The headlines and the hard questions, it's the mic asking breakfast.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
In your opinion, how angsty has this been?

Speaker 14 (18:08):
Look, there's been quite a lot of quite strong rhetoric overnight.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
In the last couple of days.

Speaker 14 (18:13):
Overall, most people recognize that balance was set. I mean,
all the New Zealanders have got an interest in what
goes on on the foreshold of the seabed. We all
share this country. When you move away from those basic
expectations to the ability as you have under this lord,
if you have custom me marine title to grant resource
consents in an area for certain things and a whole
lot of quite valuable sort of rights, that there was

(18:34):
a high threshold for that.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Reduce that threshold and we're restoring it. So that's the purpose.
Back tomorrow at six am the Mic Hosking Breakfast with
the Defender News Talk ZB.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Twenty eight past. Once on the back of this massive
university study saying that a couple in a big city
may need a million dollars plus just over a million
for a comfortable retirement. What do you actually need in
your retirement?

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Hi, guys, people don't stop living at retirement or at
sixty five. We are retired, being very active and now
starting a whole new business. We see ourselves working another
ten or fifteen years. We don't need to work, but
you need to keep the brain and body active. So true, Yeah,
I mean, I think that even if you're not working,
you have to keep the brain and body active. So
you have to find meaningful things to do. And I

(19:16):
don't think that's just a financial thing. I don't think
you can put a number on that and say one
point three million for a metro household couple. I think
you've got to find those meaningful things to do. Some people,
that's not actually retiring. Jean, welcome to the show.

Speaker 15 (19:33):
Oh yes, good afternoon. Look I listen to you. People
are very lot, a lot, I really do. But I
want to say, I want you to know that I
am a pensioner. I am on my own home and
we paid three thousand, nine hundred and seventy five thousand
four our home in nineteen sixty.

Speaker 8 (19:57):
Cool.

Speaker 15 (19:57):
Now I am what I am doing now. I have
been using my pension two And when you become a pence,
you don't stop. You keep working to promote the next generation.
And that's what my husband is. And we were fifty

(20:18):
six years he went to nineteen seventy twenty seventeen. But
the thing is right at this point in time, I
have been over these nine years, I have paid my
pension now to help everybody without going on the doll

(20:40):
and write this moment, I'm going to go down now.
My husband and I we did this a little little
house up in Welford, and over this last few years
it has been absolutely destroyed. I am now paying my
pension off to actually pay the original lawyer of my

(21:04):
husband's family to actually paid for And we've had the
police informed in everything. And I have known also that
during this COVID thing, we as pensioners were helping people
with their families. And even like tomorrow, we have what

(21:27):
we've got tomorrow, we have got mister bulgeous service. Well
you talk to an own National Party person, they didn't
even know it was on. And that's how messy our
our country isn't.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Now there's a lot. There's a lot to unpack here, jeans.
So how's your retirement going, just generally speaking, Well, be.

Speaker 15 (21:48):
Honest, we have been with the local bodies down here
and election and I did a lot of work in
Buckham's Beach during our day. And I started off from Kragian,
you know, and with the ad Yes, and I actually
got my first pray plane put up to orkantall from

(22:12):
our first job. And this is what we all had
to do in the country.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
What kind of plane was it? What kind of plane
was it? Did they have propellers?

Speaker 15 (22:22):
A little true theater? Do you know at the school
down here, the old boys are actually helping the boys
to make planes.

Speaker 16 (22:30):
This is how.

Speaker 15 (22:31):
And my husband was in the in the in the
Navy in Devonport. So and I've done so much in
this country.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
How long have you been retired for it? You sound
like you've been a very You've contributed greatly to our
country over the years. Gene, thank you so much for that.
How long have you been retired for Jeane?

Speaker 15 (22:51):
Let me finish? Can I finish?

Speaker 2 (22:54):
You get to the point? That would be awesome some
if you get an opportunity to get to the point,
there'd be awesome, Jane.

Speaker 15 (23:00):
If no, I've been down the road all right, and
it's it's the shop is as the road from the
old post office and it's a computer shop. You go
in there and you want to speak to someone and
it's Dorry a I And I said, are you are

(23:22):
you artificial and paladin for your artificial incinmination for our
brains because our seventy year old we we's been and
worked in officers and all sorts of.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
There was a robot working in the shop? Was there
a robot working in the shop?

Speaker 15 (23:39):
Yes, And that's what you want to listen to.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
Wow.

Speaker 15 (23:42):
And I've helped so many people, you know. I've had
people down here that have come from Beatons and they
had to move because they couldn't know they weren't allowed
to work because of the these COVID thing. And you've
got no idea the people that I have met, and

(24:04):
you know, and and and.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
I'll tell you just one more thing, just just one
point one, one more key point. If you can just
make that one more key point and then we'll well,
then we'll have to move on, Jean. But we've loved
your chat.

Speaker 15 (24:19):
Yes. No, Well, I'm actually speaking for many many people
and I'm going to go down now and I've got
to pay the pay the spark, I've got to pay
for the power, and I'm talking for heats and heaps
of people. And I observed exactly what happened with the
local bodies and the whole damn thing is a big

(24:40):
rought because look at the look how many percentage joined
in the in the Awkroand city. And I actually I'm
am in the Awkland city because of awnt been in Wilsford,
and so the whole thing and our whole world is
being recycled.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Yeah, there is, absolutely, Gene, and thank you. We'll just
get through. We'll have to unpack the seventy eight points
you made there. But all the best there, all the
best out there. That sounds like a lot of challenges
in your retirement. She thanks you so much for the call.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Is that enjoying retirement, vir Gene? I mean, bless her,
She's doing a lot, but that, I mean, there's a
lot going on in Jean's retirement. I just think maybe
go back to watching a bit of sport in that
Gordon's gym.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
I just just enjoy Yeah. Well, I would say that
there are a lot of stresses in her retirement, and
the point that robot walking down at the commuter shop
super annoying. Yeah you don't want that, I know that
in our retirements.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Twenty five to two headlines with Raylena's coming.

Speaker 13 (25:37):
Up us talks the headlines with Blue Bubble taxis it's
no trouble with a Blue Bubble. Fire crews and helicopters
are still fighting fires near Kaikoda. Another four are still
burning in southern Hawks Bay. From midday outdoor fire and
fireworks were banned in Marlborough, Canterbury, South Canterbury, Hawks Bay

(25:59):
and Wellington, where the warnings cover the South Island, the
Lower North Island and Hawkes Bay. Met Service is advising
people to hunker down tomorrow when red wind warnings will
apply for Wellington Southern, Wided Upper and Canterbury, and some
strike rallies are being called off tomorrow and Wellington Wided
Upper in Canterbury because of the weather, but the massive

(26:20):
country wide industrial action will continue in all other centers
as planned. Thousands are expected on Auckland's Queen Street and
many other North Island cities and towns, with strikers moving
indoors and toned An Infracargo and Queenstown from tomorrow, Rooftop's
solar panels on commercial and residential buildings will no longer

(26:41):
need building consents injured Tally's staff detail long battle for
compensation Read more at Enzidherral Premium. Back to Matteath and
Tyner Adams.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Thank you very much, Ray Lean. So we are chatting
about your retirement after a recent study from Messi University
showed that for a couple seeking a pretty comfortable choices,
our retirement lifestyle. They'll need over a million dollars, just
over a million dollars in our major city. So what
do you actually need for your retirement?

Speaker 2 (27:10):
Can we get Gene back on the line.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
She's got more to say, it's fair, but bless her, Yeah,
bless her. I feel like I.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Feel like I didn't get everything I needed to do
about the AI, the robot working at the computer shop.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
Anyway, she's got a lot to do, Jeane, So we
might try and get her back once she's sorted out
that AI situation.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Hey, Mitten Tyler, is the one million for a comfortable
retirement in twenty twenty five or the future. And does
that include property assets or just cash in hand? Yes,
So we're going to have We're going to we're going
to bring on just in a minute to answer all
these questions. You know, Clear Matthews, Associate Professor, Clear Matthews

(27:51):
is going to jump on to talk about and answer
all those questions about retirement. I'm planning to live in
a tent by a beach somewhere when I retire, get
the kids to deliver me beer, and go fishing every day.
See this is my point, My point, does do you
need a lot of money, and what is the choice's retirement?
The whole idea that we need money to do all
these kind of things. But if you're around family and

(28:12):
I don't know, you get to go fishing, get a
bit of watch, a bit of sports.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Joined the bowls club. You know what do you really need?
Social connection? Oh eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is
the number to call.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Retirement is such a fabulous chapter. And every day I
wake up excited for what waits. I live on about
fifty four k per anum, which gives me a wonderful life,
including overseas travel. I have found my wants have reduced
greatly as relationships and time is my new currency. Seventy
year old solo woman.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
Nice, that's a great text.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
See you go. So she needs fifty four thousand dollars
a year, which she gets by on fifty four thousand
dollars a year.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
That's great. Oh eight one hundred eighty ten eighty is
the number to call. Love to hear what you actually
think you'll need in your retirement or how has it gone?
If you have retired and you had these lofty ideas
and you found that a bit of a no frills
retirement actually worked out better for you. Nine two niney
two is the text number. And if you've got a
question for Associate Professor Clear Matthews, she was the lead
author of the study, come on through via the text

(29:11):
machine nine two ninety two because she is coming up next.
It is nineteen to two.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Your home of afternoon Talk, mad Heathen Taylor Adams Afternoons
call Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty news Talk said, be.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
Very good afternoon to you. It is sixteen to two. So,
as we've been discussing, a recent study from Messi University
reveals that for a couple seeking a comfortable lifestyle in
New Zealand's major cities, and this the egg of over
one million might be necessary. Even a modest no frills
lifestyle could require hundreds of thousands in savings. Joining us
now is lead author Associate Professor Claire Matthew's very good

(29:46):
afternoon to you. Professor, good afternoon.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
So what are the numbers currently across the types of
retirement you're talking about? And how come they've changed so
much since the last retirement report.

Speaker 17 (30:00):
For the last question.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
First, so they've changed because we've adjusted them for inflation,
for the twelve months. So the previous report was for
the shou thirty two twenty twenty four. This now adjusts
those numbers for inflation through to the thirty to June
twenty twenty five, and that inflation adjustment is done at
the class level, so we don't just apply CPI of
two point seven. We go down into the bits that

(30:22):
make up that CPI. So in terms of the amounts,
it does vary according to whether you're talking in one
or two person household, what type of lifestyle you want,
a more basic lifestyle no frills, or one where you've
got more choices. And they're then also whether you living
in a metro or provincial. But the love sums that
we suggest you need are from forty six thousand two,

(30:44):
as you know, just over a million dollars. But it
is worth noting that that million dollars is for a couple,
so it's two people saving that, so it's half a
million each.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Yeah, right, And what do you mean by a choice's retirement?
What exactly is that?

Speaker 4 (31:00):
Well, I mean, what a choice is retirement looks like
really does come down to the individual or the individuals involved.
But essentially what it means is that you have got misses,
you've got some flexibility that you've got enough money to
say what do I want to do? As opposed to
having to simply budget According to you've got a certain
amount of money and you've got to make your spending

(31:22):
fit that with the choices lifestyle. You should have enough
money that you can say, well, okay, what would I
like to do? I can do this or this? Which
do I prefer to do as opposed to well, I
can only afford to do one or the other. And
so rather than the money dictating what you do, you've
got choices about how you spend your life.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Is there anywhere in New Zealand where you can just
live on Super as it is?

Speaker 16 (31:45):
Well?

Speaker 4 (31:46):
Absolutely, and we do have New Zealanders living on just
Super exactly where those locations are, they'll acually be living
all throughout New Zealand.

Speaker 17 (31:55):
But whether you want the lifestyle that you would.

Speaker 4 (31:59):
Get from living just on New Zealand Super And, for
most of us, that's not the lifestyle that we dream of,
but it's quite possible that for individuals that is exactly
what they want to do.

Speaker 17 (32:08):
They want a very simple lifestyle.

Speaker 4 (32:10):
They've got their probably got their own home, it doesn't
need a lot of maintenance, and so they can cope
and you know, possibly grow in their own vegetables, doing
a lot of stuff self sufficient and therefore nest super sufficient.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
And so when you when you these numbers, are they
for someone that has paid off their mortgage and your
living mortgage free and you know, not renting. Is that
is that where those numbers sit.

Speaker 17 (32:39):
To an extent.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
Yes, So it's not that we make any assumptions about
what the situation is that people are written. But what
we know is because these are based on what current
retirees are spending. You're talking about current retirees who are
primarily Baby boomers and there's still some of the Silent
generation older generation left. They have a very high level
of home ownership, and because they bought their home a

(33:02):
long time ago when they didn't need to borrow as much,
they do generally have their homelown paer off. So yes,
it does reflect the fact that most of the current
retirees are in that situation.

Speaker 17 (33:13):
But it's not making that as a deception.

Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, professor, why is there quite a big gap between
the one person choices metro lifestyle and the couple a
person choices metro lifestyle. I just knowed and hopefully I've
got these figures right. Two hundred and seventy three thousand
for one person choices and just over a million for
two people. Why that big.

Speaker 4 (33:32):
Gap beyond there to say that that's something what the
data shows, I really don't have a better explanation than that.
What we do is we get stats by zeal And
collect the data from the household economics, so they put
it together in a way for us, and that's what
the data has come up and shown us interesting. So

(33:53):
exactly why that is the case, No, I don't know
the other I.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Wonder if that's because if you're on your your single
you're quite happy just to have a more simple life.
But if you're a couple, you're both of you coming
up with ideas of ways to spend money. This is
sort of a more I guess philosophical question. But do
people need to get rid of the dream retirement idea?
Are we imagining things that aren't possible and just don't

(34:19):
need to happen. I mean, if you imagine a retirement
of travel and doing a glamorous things choices and such,
you might be disappointed. But if you imagine a retirement
of I don't know, day drinking and watching sport and
hanging out with your mates. Maybe that is more possible.
Are we just unrealistic now and what we think of
retirement could should be.

Speaker 17 (34:42):
That's a really interesting question.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
I'd hate to see people reducing their aspirations for retirement,
and because to some extent, if you reduce your aspirations,
then that's what you're going to achieve.

Speaker 17 (34:57):
I think it's better to achieve to be aiming.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
High and maybe you won't get exactly to where you
want to. But it's like the saying about if you
aim for the moon and you might you know, you
miss the moon, you might go to the stars. It's
not quite the same thing, but it's about if you
aim high, you might not get to exactly where you were,
but you'll be higher than if you aim low and
you only get to where you were.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
So I guess you should need to aim really high
in terms of you know, in all the analysis of retirement,
social connection and being active and remaining a part of
the community is really important for happiness and health. So
as well as aiming financially, people probably need to aim

(35:42):
to keep those social connections going and put that effort
into keep friendships going, keep family connections going, and keep
associations with clubs and community groups.

Speaker 17 (35:53):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
Absolutely, social connection is really important for everybody, and so
making sure that you maintain that when you hit retirement.

Speaker 17 (36:00):
I mean that's why some.

Speaker 4 (36:02):
Particularly men struggle when they have work, because they suddenly
all their social connections we're connected to work and something.
They lose all those connections and so that makes it
really hard. So those social connections are really important, so
maintaining those are vital.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Clear, it's been great to chat with you. Thank you
very much for joining us and giving us some of
your time. No problem, that is Associate Professor Clear Matthews
and a very interesting port report that you can read
on the New Zealand here. But we're taking your calls,
oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty. What is what does
retirement look like for you? And what do you think
you'll need in your retirements? It is nine minutes to two.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
You can live forever on half a million in Thailand,
says the Steckxter.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Good to know.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Good today, madd.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
Heath Taylor Adams taking your calls on oh, eight hundred
eighty ten eighty. It's mad Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons
news talks.

Speaker 18 (36:54):
That'd be.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
It is seven to two. We've been talking about what
you think you'll need in your retirements.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
I call bs and all your homelessness crap. The state
will give you at least four to five hundred a week,
and you only need to rent one bedroom for one
hundred eight a week. One can survive on. That is
this tech staff? Ben, Have you retired at forty five?
You have to.

Speaker 12 (37:19):
I thought I was lucky enough to well there, but
it was well overrated. Yeah, I know, I'm just going
to go and do all these things that I enjoyed doing,
and I spent about a year and a half doing it.
But what I found was I got sick of everything.

Speaker 10 (37:42):
After you get sick of bacon and eggs every day
you do, you get sick of baking eggs if you
I got sick of I got sick of eating fish.
You know, it's just fishing. I moved down to Stuart
Island and thought this would be great, and then yeah,
I just thought I'd get into traveling and and just
it was just it wasn't what I was expecting. I

(38:03):
ultimately end up going back to work. Yeah, here, I am.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
It's kind of that thing, isn't it. It's holiday is
exciting because it's brief, right, So because there's always that
saying that everyone imagines that they want to retire, sit
on the beach and have and drink pinacoladas, and then
the next question is what do you want to do?
You know, half an hour after that?

Speaker 10 (38:24):
Yeah, yeah it man, that's exactly it. And yeah, I
can tell you bacon they're great, but yeah, I enjoy weekbeaks.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yeah well I suppose yeah, yeah, you're enough too, But
I suppose being for you as well. Mate, retiring at
forty five and your midweek and think, man, I could
use some company. I wonder what my mates are up to.
They're all at work, so that doesn't help.

Speaker 19 (38:43):
Everybody that works.

Speaker 10 (38:45):
Everybody work.

Speaker 12 (38:46):
Yeah yeah, and if and if we're to coming time
to catch it up with them, I was expected to
shout because I had more money than them.

Speaker 10 (38:54):
And they knew it.

Speaker 20 (38:54):
So yeah, so your.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Advice is that your advice has never retire. Thank you
so much for cole being appreciate appreciate that, But I
know what being are saying. So my son was in
hospital recently for the week, and I say this is great,
you can just watch everything you want, and he goes,
it's boring, you know, and playing video games is boring.
Watching what it watching Netflix and playing videos is boring

(39:18):
when you can do it all the time. Yeah, yeah,
I mean that seems like a shallow way to look
at it. But part of the reason why holidays are
so enjoyable is because the scarcity of them and the
bre brevity of them. You know, they're disappearing fast. So
everything's so important and exciting. Nicely said, but but you know,
so many people have been on holiday for you know.
I was just recently in Figi and I was talking

(39:39):
to this couple that had been at the resort for
three weeks and they were they were they were in
a bad stack.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
It's too long too They need to go home.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
They need they need something else.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
So with that in mind, mate, your retirement of watching
sport and drinking a bit of Gordon's gym during the day,
you're going to need more than that.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yeah, you're probably going to need more than that. You
need something more meaningful. Hey, that that last hour was
a total shamozzle and we never got to the topics.
So we'll just keep it going for another fifteen minutes
after the break and actually get to some callers to
talk about the topic.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Yeah, we've got plenty there. Absolute from you are eight
one hundred and eighty ten eighties and number of cour
blessed Gene. I would say, hope she's doing well, great
New Zealand.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Talking with you all afternoon. It's Matt Heathan Taylor Adams
Afternoons News Talk ZIVY.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Very good afternoon to you. Welcome back into the show.
At seven past two. We're going to carry on with
our discussion about retirement. It's on the back of new
research out of Massive University. It's found that if you're
planning to retire comfortably in one of New Zealand's big
cities Auckland, Wellington and to a lesser exting Christ, you
may need to have more than a million dollars saved.
And even if you're aiming for a more modest, no
frills lifestyle, it could still take a serious chunk of

(40:45):
savings to make ends meet.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
Yeah, and last hour turned a little bit of a smuzzle.
We got a bogged down and Jurgen Klop talk and
then we've got a very interesting call from gene and
she had a lot of issues that she raised up,
but very ready to say this is why I love
this job. Yeah, because you never know what you're going
to get. Thanks, You'll never know what you're going to
learn as a newstalk ZB talk back host. It's very

(41:09):
grateful to be here and get all the people ringing
through on our eight hundred and eighty ten eighty and
just sharing their life.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Yeah, we've just got to ride that train. Whatever that
train looks like when it comes on through. How good, Maria,
welcome to the show. Well, your thoughts on retirement.

Speaker 6 (41:25):
Okay, hey, yeah, thanks Saorah and taking my course. My
thoughts are and I don't know exactly what the research
has been based on, but I think as you get older,
your expectations and your needs changed. So the other guy
was riding it is between four and five hundred dollars
a week that you will get on a tension and yeah,

(41:46):
it is pretty slim to live on that, However, it depends.
I think the key is to having a freehold home.
If you're freehold, things are a lot more doable, yes,
in terms of your not having to pay rents. If
you had a freehold home, You're still going to have
things like rates and insurance, and the way I look
at things, and that the way I voiced looked at things,

(42:07):
if I could cover my basis, my basic needs, then
everything else as a bonus. Yeah, if I can cople
my yeah, and my my rates and my insurance and
my electricity and my gas or whatever I've got. And
then and I just noticed, as I'm getting older, I
don't need or want as many things as I used to.

(42:29):
I don't eat anywhere nearest amounts of food as I
used to when I was in my thirties and forties.
You know, I eat it much smaller. So I'm not
going out and spending two hundred dollars a week on
groceries anymore because I don't eat that amount of food
anymore as I'm getting older. And then say, well, you know,
might want to have a trip overseas. Yeah, I might,
But when I'm seventy five, I might I have a
trip overseas because that's huge. It's really big, giving on

(42:53):
a plane and taking a suitcase and working out where
you're going. And you know, like things change when you're older.
You're not as quick as a start, so things that
you used to do, like I need to do this,
I need to do that. You might not want to
do them when you're older.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Would you suggest, instead of saving to do those things
when you're retired, spend that money early when you've got
the energy and the excitement around it.

Speaker 6 (43:17):
Yeah. Yeah, But I've always been a saver my whole life.
I've always been a saver. Is it not a little bit?

Speaker 3 (43:25):
Yeah? And that's a good philosophy to have. But is
it not part of you, Maria that I take it
to you if you're a few years away from retirement.

Speaker 6 (43:34):
Oh, just yeah, not too many.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
Is there a part of you that thinks this is
just my mentality and I'm a wae way away from
it that by the time I get to that stage,
my worries will be limited in terms of you know
that I don't really have stresses at work, but that
thinking about the work environment and all that the hours
and there that that takes. Once I hit sixty five,
that's my time to take a breather and do all

(43:57):
those wonderful things I've always wanted to do but didn't
have the time or the ability to do that without
worrying about other aspects of life.

Speaker 6 (44:08):
Yeah, Okay, So I think there's there's a twofold answer
to that. I think one is expectation, and then what
I want to do what somebody else mnd to do
might be, might be you know, I'm you know, maybe
a little bit like you know, sitting around just evid
a few gen T's downs is great fun for me.
I really enjoyed you. Is that just chilling out?

Speaker 3 (44:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (44:30):
Yeah, so I think, yeah, I'm not intending to stop
working I'm sixty five because I couldn't have imagine what
I would do all day?

Speaker 15 (44:40):
What would I do?

Speaker 6 (44:42):
I will really turn into a caps potato. I know
that about me.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
Yeah, well, this text Maria says, I'm forty two and
semi retired jan this year, solar business stuff for the
years of hard graft, paid off the mortgage. Only recently
just picked up a job one day a week just
to keep me sane.

Speaker 6 (44:58):
So yes, I'm paying to work till I'm seventeen, and
then I might go down to part time if I
still can, and if it's still working for everybody today,
I kind of imagine what I wouldn't do all day.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
So the philosophy chat or that thinking, did that change
the closer you're getting to retirement. I'm just really interested
that whether a lot of people think the way I'm
thinking at the age of forty, that I'm going to
have this massive breather and do all these wonderful things
when I finally get to retire, that's my time to
finally do all the things I ever wanted to do.
Whether that's just fuzzy thinking and by the time you

(45:28):
get closer to it, you get a bit more wise
and you realize that, hey, that was that's not really
the reality of retirement.

Speaker 6 (45:36):
Yeah okay, so yeah, so that's really interesting question. So
just from other friends of mine, their lives change in
different way. So yes, when I go, oh, you know,
I'm so great man, I'm retired sixty five, had a
big party, got a gold watch, ya ya ya, and
now I'm looking after all the grandchildren.

Speaker 18 (45:53):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (45:54):
I love looking at it because then you go, well,
when am I going to do all those things I
said I was going to do and ask forty because
now I just want to stay here and pick up
Katie and Sam from KINDI every day and that's my
life and I love it.

Speaker 3 (46:04):
That's love.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
See, That's what I was saying, Maria, for me, for me,
for me when I retire, if I ever retire, and
and it's a ways away from me, but I pictured
that being a great life if you could be contribute
to your grandkid's life. I love the idea of a
granny a granny flat. It have to be a granddad
flat for me. Yeah, living on out the back of

(46:25):
one of my kids' houses. I've got a big TV
to watch some sport. We've got a few G and t's,
as you say, Maria, and then I'm helping out with
the kids, obviously not G and t's. When i've when
I've got when I'm called pick up and.

Speaker 6 (46:37):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Yeah. Do you think do you think potentially do you
think I was thinking about this. Do you think potentially
that people feel pressure to live these dream lives And
it's sort of the instagramivocation of retirement as well, the
sort of photo frame where you have to you have
to live up to this ideal that you're going to retire,
You're going to travel, you're going to see these things,
You're going to have these amazing experiences. But as you say, Maria,

(47:02):
if that experience means involved being away from the family
and grandkids and friends and such. Is that really so great?

Speaker 21 (47:10):
Are you?

Speaker 2 (47:11):
I guess what I'm saying is right, are people doing
these retirement amazing adventures for themselves or for the perception
that they're having an amazing retirement.

Speaker 6 (47:21):
Well, you just made me think of something else. Now,
So if your life has always been family orientated, if
one's life has always been family orientated, then I would
be surprised to someone who's been family orientated all of
their life to time to say right now, I'm sixty five,
buggy you guys, I'm off here because that hasn't been
your life hasn't been you. But someone who is still

(47:45):
traveling maybe, And I could be completely wrong. This isn't
me just thinking talking to you. Nobody's listening. If people
are still traveling when they're older. When they're older, if
they're still traveling, they maybe did all let their whole
life anyway, but it's just continuing doing what they always did.

Speaker 21 (48:02):
Yeah, it's hard to know.

Speaker 6 (48:04):
All I'm just what I'm saying is from my experience
is I've just noticed that as I'm getting older, the
things that really wanted that I did when I was young,
I think, Oh, no, I'm too tight.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
Yeah, you know you're retired, and then you you're yoloing
up the much you peach you trail and you're just thinking,
I wouldn't actually mind.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
Just being back at home and we go back to
the hotel.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
But I'm wondering what my grandkids are up to.

Speaker 16 (48:27):
You.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
I hear one of the you know, one of them's
made it into a soccer tournament, and you know one
of them's playing, one of them play, you know, one
of them's made the rowing team. I wouldn't mind going
down to Marty Caup to watch them or something just
down the road. You know, Maria, thank you so much
for your call.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Yeah, really great call. I WIT one hundred and eighty
ten eighty is the number to call if you like
Maria and you're you're some years off a time, and
do you agree that things have changed as you've got
closer and what you value in life has changed as well.
Love to hear from you boys.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
The problem is how long will you live? A sobering
thought is to generate the minimum wage passively in retirement
risk free. You need to invest circle one point two
million in government bonds to get the minimum wage.

Speaker 3 (49:05):
Dave right, Okay, it's done the mess. It is quarter
past two. Back very shortly.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Your home of afternoon talk, Mad Heathen Taylor Adams afternoons
call oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty Youth Talks. They'd be.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Eighteen pass two. What do you think you'll need in
your retirement? If you're nearing retirement, have you thought about it?
And have are your values changed in terms of what
you think you'll be doing in those golden years? Are
eight one hundred and eighty ten eighties and number.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
To call, Alan, Welcome to the show. You've got some
advice that was given to you when you were younger?

Speaker 22 (49:39):
Yeah, I had a maid who retired younger and I
kept on asking him, Terry, how you're getting on with
your retirement, And he said, I'll give you some.

Speaker 21 (49:49):
Advice, son. He said, all your capital expenditure, the new car,
the travel, all of that kind of stuff, do before
you retire. And if you don't do it before you retire,
put the money aside so when you retire you know
how much money you've got to live on. And that's
really good advice. And I work three days a week.

Speaker 22 (50:10):
And I'll do that for a little bit longer.

Speaker 21 (50:15):
But you know the reality is his advice was really
really good. So if I want a wheel trip and
it's kind of cost forty grand and I don't do
it before I retire, I put that, I would.

Speaker 19 (50:25):
Put that aside.

Speaker 21 (50:26):
Oh wow, so that when I'm really it's not out
of the pool of the money I need to survive.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Did that motivate you not to go on trips? You
imagine a trip it's been about forty thousand dollars. You go,
I've imagined it, but I'm not going to do it
and put that forty thousand dollars away. I mean, there'd
be a motivation not to do it, wouldn't it.

Speaker 9 (50:46):
Well, it depends how.

Speaker 21 (50:47):
Much other money you've got. Really, I think for me,
I've done some travel and it's a little bit more
than I want to do. But I'll do that maybe
when I do retire, when I maybe seven issue. But
what I do, it's economically viable and it keeps me

(51:08):
fit and healthy, and yeah, no, wish out really well.
So Terry's advice was really good. To sort out your
cantal expenditure before you retire, and you know how much
you've got to live on.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
See, I do a thing. That's a bit like that, Ellen.
If I buy something extravagant for myself, I punished myself
for putting this by putting the same amount of money
on my key we saver. Smart. I've been doing this
for a while. So if there's a nice watch I
want to buy, I go, okay, I'll I'll allow myself
to buy that, but I will put the equal amount
away as well.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
It's very smart.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
Did that with the legal ship eight hundred bucks on Lego,
eight hundred bucks in the key we saver.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, absolutely, thanks for you call, Ellen.

Speaker 3 (51:52):
Yeah, great, cool O eight hundred and eighty ten eighty
is the number to cool. We got plenty of tips
coming through. On nine two ninety two.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
My uncle retired, went fishing and playing golf for several weeks,
then got bored and went back to work for ten
years more. Find a job that you enjoy and it
will feel like you never work. Don't want what you love,
rather love what you have. Yeah, I mean, I agree
with that, but that was like my dad. He got
so excited about retiring. He was talking about it for
the longest time, counting down to when he was sixty five.

(52:19):
He's talking about a lot. And then I don't think
he was even retired for a day. He just got
another job and missed immediately. Yeah, and then worked for
at least another thirteen years.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
Same thing about freedom, isn't it, Because that's what I
see as retirement is ultimate freedom. But perhaps people when
they get that freedom, realize that freedom can equal boredom.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
Yeah, well the stick said up new guys. We sold
our farm three years ago and I retired. It was
bloody horrible, plenty of money, plenty of choice, but I
just got bored shitless. Then the opportunity came for a
job with a rural merchant technical field sales out on
the road, which I got, and life is just wonderful again.
I'm out meeting talking with farmers, contributing to society, and
I don't get bored regards.

Speaker 3 (52:57):
Graig, Yeah, that's awesome, right. Oh, eight one hundred and
eighty ten eighty is the number to call. It's twenty
two past.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Two, Matt Heathen Tyler Adams after call on Youth Talk zeb.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Twenty four past two.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
Gay, we're talking about retirement. How are you?

Speaker 16 (53:16):
Yes, very good.

Speaker 7 (53:18):
I've got a different slant on retirement I'm seventy seven, so.

Speaker 18 (53:24):
I call it.

Speaker 7 (53:26):
I've been retired for quite a while, but I am
having an absolute ball. I am now by myself and
next week I'm heading to Japan for five weeks by myself,
walking tracks by myself and thoroughly enjoying what I'm doing.

(53:47):
Go yeah, I think you've got to work out what
you are happiest at doing. And if you're happy at
retiring and then going back to it, sure do it.
But no, I'm happy at doing Brandmr Duty, going to gym,

(54:08):
king and tripping.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
Do you have do you have? Do you have a
good circle of friends? Gay?

Speaker 7 (54:18):
I have. I have just recently moved from another province
up to Auckland because my grandchildren are up here and
so at the moment it is difficult for an old
lady to find a circle of friends. I had a
great circle of friends that are left behind. But the

(54:41):
advantage of leaving them behind I go back down and
visit them. But I have got the added value of
the grandchildren and family.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
That's lovely.

Speaker 7 (54:54):
So yeah, And I never thought that I would ring
up others that I'm sitting or at home at the moment,
and I was listening to the people that did like retirement. Yeah,
there's there's other things in retirement than sitting on the

(55:16):
beach drinking G and T or you know, there's a
great world out there.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Yeah, I mean, and it's good that you're you've got
your health, so you can go for a big long
walk in Japan, right because you know people you never know,
you know, some people can't do that at fifty five.

Speaker 7 (55:34):
Yes, yeah, no, Luckily, Luckily, I definitely have my health.
I might be a bit forgetful, you know. I always
lose my phone and my.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Keys, so.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
That's you know, just harf for the course.

Speaker 7 (55:49):
But no, if you I'm only saying that I don't
know whatever I would do if I ever lost my license.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Yeah, that's very stricting. Hey, but thank you so much
for sharing. There's the positive side of it, because so
many people saying they were I either hated and went
back to work. But Gay's getting a bit out of it.
But she's busy with grandkids and stuff she's got going on.
This is an email that came through. Hey, Matt and Tyler.
I've been listening to the discussion and how much people
really need to retire comfortably, and I wanted to share

(56:22):
my own experience. I turned sixty five in July and
went on to New Zealand Super. I don't have lofty goals.
I just want enough to live on. I have multiple
sclerosis and was living off my income Protection insurance up
until it's expired at age sixty five. This means my
income is now limited to SUPER and a small amount
of savings. My SUPER is one thousand and seventy five
dollars a fortnite and my renter is eight hundred. That

(56:43):
leads me with around one hundred and thirty eight dollars
a week to cover food, power, phone, transport and everything else.
Having to draw about three hundred a week from my
rapidly diminishing twenty thousand dollars key, we save it just
to get by. According to official calculations. The Household Expenditure Guide,
quoted to me by ID and MSD apparently have a surplus.

(57:04):
I don't know where that idea comes from, but to
my mind, one hundred and thirty eight dollars a week
for food, power, transport, et cetera. It's completely out of
touch with reality. For many retirees, it's not about living luxuriously,
it's about surviving I think this conversation is really important
because what's on paper and what's actually happening in people's
lives are two very different things. Thank you so much

(57:25):
for your email, Claire.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
Great email. Thank you very much to everybody who text
and called on that one. Really enjoyed that discussion. Coming
up next this is going to be a great discussion
as well. And I'll make sure I get this pronunciation right.
Pronunciation right.

Speaker 16 (57:40):
So.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
Jurgen klop He is the longtime Liverpool manager, widely regarded
as one of the greatest football managers of his generation.
He sat down in a recent interview with a podcast
and described his childhood. But he made mention of his
dad and he loved his dad. His dad loved Jurgen.
But he made mention that his dad wanted to him
to be very successful, had big expectations to the point

(58:02):
he would never let him when any competitions unless he
was good enough to win on his own.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
Yes, So the question is should you let your kids win?
You're hot on this, Yeah, No, I think I think not.
I think that you've got to be honest with your kids.
You've got to be honest about their abilities. You can't,
you know, you've got to prepare them for the reality
of life. You've got to build resilience. You know, confidence

(58:28):
comes with resilience. And so this whole idea that you
just let them win and they feel like they're the
most amazing thing in the world, reality is going to
hit them pretty square in the face when they go
out into the real world, isn't it.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Yeah, what do you say to that?

Speaker 18 (58:40):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (58:40):
Eight one hundred and eighty ten eighty love to hear
your thoughts. Should you ever let your children win in
games and competitions within the household? Nine two ninety two
is the text number as well. Headlines with rayling coming up.
We will be back very shortly.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Jus talks'd be headlines with blue bubble taks.

Speaker 13 (58:59):
It's the no trouble. It is no trouble with a
blue bubble cruise. A major fires near Kaikoder worry strengthening
wins will make them job harder. Another three fires are
burning in southern hawks Bay one across two hundred and
forty five hectares. Bands now apply on outdoor fires and
fireworks in Marlborough, Canterbury, South, Canterbury, Hawks Bay and Wellington.

(59:23):
Whether warnings cover the South Island, the Lower North Island
and Hawk's Bay. Red wind warnings will apply tomorrow for Wellington, Southern,
Wided Upper and Canterbury. People are being advised to prepare
and hunker down and strike. Rallies and Wellington Wided Up
and Canterbury tomorrow are being called off and moved indoors

(59:44):
in Dunedin and Vicargo and Queenstown. The country wide industrial
action will continue elsewhere as planned. A axinologist says New
Zealand must act fast to stop measles spreading, which could
be flying under the radar in people with low symptoms.
Three new cases and Manawit, Whu and Nelson were announced yesterday.

(01:00:04):
Pons and Bees Cracked Chicken closes after eight months to
re you open as Matcher specialist. You can read more
at Insight here or Premium. Back to Matt Eathan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
Thank you very much. Rayle.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
You can't go striking inside. You've got you've got to
get out and about right.

Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
God, it defeats the purpose. Well, you've got to let
people see you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Well, you're protesting, you know, I mean, all these things
nowadays are just really for the TikTok footag, aren't they right, Yeah,
so surely just putting on a jacket and heading out
and having your banners flapping around in the wind, it's
part of it. Won't that be more dramatic for your cause?

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
If nobody sees your protests? Have you really protest the
philosophical question here?

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
I think you can't. You can't, that's not I don't
think that counts as a strike if you're indoors. So postpone,
I mean, just stay at home and then post the
pictures from your couch.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
You might as well, right, yeah, so maybe a postponement
might be better, or just get out there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
And place the conditions. Like, what's that fantastic weather reporter.
I think his name's Jim Candor from the Weather net work. Yes,
he gets in the scar and he goes wherever the
weather is, he goes. So he gets that shot where
he's standing into the wind, nearly nearly being knocked over.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
He's a brave dude, but it looks good on camera.
Get out there, yeah, you know, love it? Right, let's
get into this one. So you're Jurgen Klopp, the veteran
Liverpool manager often hailed as one of the best of
his generation, recently opened up about his upbringing. During an
interview on the podcast Diary of a CEO, he painted
a picture of a childhood influence by contrasting forces, especially

(01:01:38):
noting his very confident dad. So Klop shared with host
Steve Bartlett that his father had very high expectations of him.

Speaker 23 (01:01:46):
My dad had expectations. So he wanted me to be
a sports guy. Each sport tennis, skiing, football, That was
he slafe. So he wanted that his son is good
at that and her loft doing it. But then pretty
quick when I became better, it was never good enough
with his son. He wanted him to be vicious and

(01:02:09):
was a bit of free that I might be not
ambitious enough.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
So competitive man not here, Yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:02:16):
Reading about stories of him racing you on ski slopes
and the sprint, racism, never letting you win, it's true.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Who knows if it's right. Probably its right.

Speaker 23 (01:02:26):
I don't know if it was not nice in a
way when you tell the story, it's like my god, gum,
I lad the poor boy when or whatever we had
no chance.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
So that's what we want to have a chat about.
Jurgen Klops dad never let him win on the ski
slopes or anything. Else and arguably, I mean Jurgen himself
said maybe it wasn't right, maybe it was. He's been
very successful in his life.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Yeah, what do you think? I mean, just from my
personal experience. Actually, I'll share it, and I want to
share the the because it's not just sport, it's other
things and it's winning rewards, right, and so I want
to talk about how good a picture needs to be
drawn by a kid to deserve a spot on the fridge. Okay, right,
because I think across everything creative and you know, physical activities,

(01:03:09):
I think you just can't hand them wins. But we'll
talk about in that a bit because I want to
get to Jeremy right now, welcome to the show. What
are your thoughts on letting kids.

Speaker 18 (01:03:17):
Win one hundred percent with you?

Speaker 9 (01:03:20):
And that's this on that you're going to knock them
down a people too?

Speaker 18 (01:03:24):
Just create I only just creates a massive learning opportunities
in terms of the way you deal with not necessarily failure,
but the way you deal with not winning. I remember
specifically when I was a kids and I bet mom
and dad at.

Speaker 9 (01:03:37):
Tennis for the very first.

Speaker 18 (01:03:39):
Time, and I genuinely I still remember that.

Speaker 20 (01:03:41):
Day and I smiled throughout a week because mom and
dad even let me win.

Speaker 9 (01:03:47):
And I specifically remember that time and it was sort
of a we're quit of competitive family that it created
that competitive atmosphere. But I now look at it from
my kids' perspective and go like, it creates massive opportunities.
You know, one of my kids loses it, guess who
you know, the tantry comes out forward, gets flipped and
they walk off. But it creates an ability to be
able to give them me teaching moments to go, well,

(01:04:09):
you're not you know, life's not like that. You're never
necessarily going to win all the time. And if they
haven't been taught that, and if they've got no coping
stratesities to be able to deal with those bosses, I
think that's where we're struggling. And while we're sort of
probably creating a life where it keeps are struggling with
anxiety and that kind of stuff because we're wrapping way
too much cottom war around them, and that they've got

(01:04:29):
to know these heart lessons that I think that all
starts from the family and what you sort of teach them.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
How far do you go on that? Jeremy, though, say
from a cricketing perspective. When they're seven, are you coming
off the back fence and giving them the chin music?

Speaker 9 (01:04:47):
It depends on how bad they've been.

Speaker 18 (01:04:49):
But no, generally thinking generally thinking.

Speaker 9 (01:04:52):
No, not at all. I mean you want to encourage them.
You want to you want to be able to give
them an environment where they can experiment and where they
can go out and do the things that they want
to do and be encouraged to play those kind of sports.
Like you don't want to give them such a hiding
that they lose all of that sort of encouragement and
they just never want to play it again. But at
the same time, yeah, like I say, just wrapping them

(01:05:15):
up and cotton wall and pretending I'm like that life's
all about winning. It's not helping them in the future.

Speaker 21 (01:05:21):
I don't think as.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Part of that Jeremy that say it's a running race
and you know you're gonna you're gonna smash your child
in this running race. But do you give them a
handicap and say I'll give you five seconds head start
but after that it's all on. Is that a good
way to say you've got a chance here? But realistically,
I'm easily going to beat you.

Speaker 9 (01:05:38):
Yeah, one hundred. That's what I do with my two boys,
one seven and one's four. And I'll say, right, a
four year old ago, you get one hundred men a
head start, and then I'll hold a seven year old back.
He's really.

Speaker 18 (01:05:53):
And I don't know.

Speaker 9 (01:05:54):
I just look at all those those opportunities and it's
fun and it's exciting, and it gives them a sense
of achievement when they do start winning those little battles
by themselves.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
I you know, I know you're the same thing with
you finally beating your parents at tennis. So I've played
my kids at chess for a very long time and
always just absolutely smoked them at chess. And they were like,
you're some kind of magician, dad. And then a couple
of years ago just said, for me, my fourteen year son,
fourteen year old son beat me at chess for the

(01:06:27):
first time, and I've never seen celebrations like it before.
He was jumping. It's like you having that smile on
your face for the week. It was worth all those
losses for him just for the me. How meaningful it
was for him to beat me, how downtrod and I was,
he'd slayed the dragon I was destroyed. He was jumping
on the couch, he was running around. It was like

(01:06:48):
he'd won the World Cup. It was phenomenal and it
was and for me it was a great moment as well,
because he'd finally slayed me.

Speaker 9 (01:06:56):
Yeah. Those life are all about those memories, right, and
like that will be a memory that will never leave
his mind. You know, he'll be eighty telling his best
story to his grandkids. I guarantee it, yes, And I think, yeah,
I think by leaving them when all the time, you're
just setting them up for failure. Life is real tough
gut as soon as they go out and find you
a job and they get turned down from their first job,

(01:07:17):
and if they can't deal with that failure, then it
makes life a whole lot harder.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
Yeah. Great, cool.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
I haven't played chess against him again.

Speaker 3 (01:07:25):
Yeah, I'm just picturing that Rocky montage where he's building
up and come on, Rockie, you can do it, and
then that moment where he finally beats your mate. There's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
Yeah, Hey, thank you so much for you call Jeremy.
I appreciate it. That's a definite. No, I'm too competitive.
Let them win if they do it's on their own merits.

Speaker 3 (01:07:41):
Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
Oh's a slightly different thing. That's a different issue. You're
not really being competitive with your kids. You are being
a worthy adversary that it's worth becoming competent enough to surpass. Right,
that's what you're trying to do, because that's the great

(01:08:03):
thing about being a parent is when they do finally
beat you, you're chuffed. Unlike when mate finally beats you
at something, they're not chuffed. When your kid moment, you're like,
oh my god, that my kid finally beat me.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
But there must have been some occasions, Matt, where say
cricket and it was an easy catch that whacked it.
You could see you got you were going to take it,
and then you thought, just in that split moment, I'm
going to let you have this, and you went for
the went for the catch and then just gave a
wee stumble to make it look like you're about to
catch them. Surely or not, you just would have gone
straight in there.

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
No, I'm dropping that catch on my own volition. To
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty Should you let your
kids win? Or is going hard in the competition a
great way to build resilience one hundred and eighty ten eighty.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
The issues that affect you and a bit of fun
along the way. Mad Heathen Taylor Adams Afternoons News Talk said.

Speaker 3 (01:08:59):
Be quarter to three. Should you ever let your kids
win in competition? This is on the back of Jugen Klop,
very very successful football manager. His dad we ever let
him win and he says maybe that made him the
man he is today.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
The sexer says, Hi, guys, there is a balance. Letting
kids win everything easily without if it should be used sparingly,
but showing them you must win everything can turn them
into arrogant individuals. Win is yes, nice people know, cheers Phil, Yeah,
I mean letting them win. So just letting them win,
Letting kids win everything easily without if it should be

(01:09:32):
used sparingly, but showing them you must win everything can
turn them. I get what you're saying. I mean you
have to show them what a good winner is like. Yeah,
you know. I mean that's a huge part and it's
not just about sport. It's about a lot of different things.
But you need to be a good winner and a
good loser in life. I think that's really important that
in employment yep, everything.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
And striving for success right that it doesn't come free.

Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
Maggie, your thoughts on this, well, you hit.

Speaker 24 (01:10:02):
A light bulb moment when I heard this topic too.
Start off, I've always lost ludo. I mean, they always
knocked me off the board, and I used to rant
and rage and tip the board up and do all
sorts of wonderful nets childish and mature things. But they
never told me they were doing it for my own goods.

Speaker 6 (01:10:22):
What a shame.

Speaker 24 (01:10:23):
I might have learned a few more lessons in life,
but I always remember, just when you said what the
topic was, I just couldn't help but ring and say.
I started at ludo and I was the loser, but
a total loser.

Speaker 2 (01:10:37):
Mega.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
Did you did you?

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
Did you eventually start? Warning?

Speaker 24 (01:10:41):
No, because we never They barred me from any games
of ludo anymore, so I can never go back. Unfortunately
I have a brother still, maybe I could try one
more game of ludo with them, but no, and scrabble
as well. It was always not a word or something.
So yeah, so they were really trying to teach me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
But never mind, you didn't know that until right now.
That actually what the light bulb moment.

Speaker 24 (01:11:08):
Oh, gosh, I know now why I.

Speaker 22 (01:11:10):
Love all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
They were trying to make you a more resilient person.

Speaker 24 (01:11:15):
Oh something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:16):
But it sounds out like it sounds out like it
sounds like you turned out pretty well, so there was
some success in that.

Speaker 25 (01:11:21):
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, thank you very much. Please you there,
Thank you so much for your call. Lads, lands lads.
When it comes to playing with children, no mercy, practice
your speed, your swing. When playing crickets, let the wager
their future. Let them wager their future pocket money for

(01:11:43):
getting out of jail and monopoly play nothing that will
get them better, No mercy.

Speaker 2 (01:11:48):
There you go.

Speaker 3 (01:11:49):
Yeah, very good text. Keep them coming through.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
And that person says, my son's in our social worker.

Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
Okay, well they kind of worked out. Nine to nine
two is the text number. But taking your calls on
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty should you ever let
your children win at games? Love to hear your thoughts
it There is twelve to three back in the month, the.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
Issues that affect you and a bit of fun along
the way. Matt Heath and Taylor Adams Afternoons News Talks.

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
EDB, News Talks EDB. It is ten to three, should
you ever let your children win in competitions. This is
a good text here, Guys, when your kids are under five,
you can't repeatedly kick their butt at armor wrestling, et cetera.
It creates a demoralized rather kid not wanting to try
again once they're a bit older. They need to be
making a real effort.

Speaker 19 (01:12:33):
Though.

Speaker 3 (01:12:33):
I never let my boy beat me at armor wrestling
for the last eight years. He's now fifteen, beat me
fair and squeer last week, a huge moment for both
of us. I'm off to the gym now for some
secret training.

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
Dino, I'm not sure about that. I thought I would
never let my kids beat me at arm wrestling until
they could beat You don't want like a three year
old to think that they're stronger than dad. That's a
complete misunderstanding of the reality of the world. You need
to know that an adult is bigger and stronger than you.

Speaker 3 (01:12:59):
It's a very good point.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
I would never. I mean, what you do is you
you let them get close.

Speaker 3 (01:13:05):
Yeah, you go bit.

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
Yeah, and then you get right down and they think
they're close, you go just joking, and then you slam
them right over.

Speaker 3 (01:13:11):
That'll teach them. Yeah, One hundred and eighty ten eighties
and number.

Speaker 2 (01:13:14):
To call Doreen. You sometimes let your kids win at cards?

Speaker 26 (01:13:18):
Yeah, that's a grandmother. I always let them when to
keep them matresses, like, I let them have a turn
up winning because we can see that they're getting disappointed
if they're not winning, especially when they're little. What kind
of cards?

Speaker 2 (01:13:35):
What cards? Games are you talking about? Here?

Speaker 26 (01:13:38):
We play a thing called speed?

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
Were you great? I play my kids at the cards?

Speaker 16 (01:13:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
Yeah, I play my kids at speed all the time,
and and that that is the most competitive thing in
our household.

Speaker 3 (01:13:49):
What is speed?

Speaker 1 (01:13:50):
It is?

Speaker 2 (01:13:51):
How would you describe it?

Speaker 26 (01:13:53):
You lay all the cards out playing, yeah, playing snack,
but you've got to take them out their hand and
put them down on the table and get rid of
your cards.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
Right, sounds amazing.

Speaker 7 (01:14:02):
Look at us. It's really good.

Speaker 2 (01:14:04):
Yeah, it's a great game.

Speaker 24 (01:14:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 26 (01:14:06):
I've played them all from about three or four or
eight grandkers and the last one at home now fourteen
and fifteen, and I can't beat them. They beat me
all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:14:18):
How do you feel about that? As a nana? That
would have been a good day doing.

Speaker 26 (01:14:23):
Yes, it's wonderful. Yeah, but you can see how you
know it can be disappointing if you don't.

Speaker 2 (01:14:28):
Want Yeah, I guess, I guess. The point is disappointment
is part of life, though, isn't it. So kids need
to learn learn how to deal with disappointment, and they
have no how.

Speaker 26 (01:14:41):
To need to know how to deal with a nana
that just wants to play cards, or having had dinner,
and I just make out I'm shuffling the cards and
dealing them to them, and they all light up. And
if we go and play cards, yes, lovely, well, good.

Speaker 2 (01:14:56):
On your dooring. So Speed is a fast paced two
player card game where the objective is to be the
first to get rid of all twenty cards. Players simultaneously
play cards on center piles by matching a sequence so
you can sequench or rank up or down of the
card on top, with no turns allowed. To set up,
deal twenty cards to each player and place four piles

(01:15:16):
in the center, two out of piles of five cards
and two inner piles of one card each. It's so fast.

Speaker 3 (01:15:22):
Yeah, that sounds like a great game, and it's a.

Speaker 2 (01:15:24):
Great game to play with your kids because it's it's
it's not only how quickly you think, because you have
to think quickly and match things quickly. But you have
to move your hands really quickly. Yeah, it's really fast.
It's a great, great game. I used to play that
with my kids straight after school when they got home,
and we just have tournaments between us and yeah, it
got really competitive.

Speaker 3 (01:15:43):
Love it. Mark, How are you you very good? Do
you let your kids good?

Speaker 16 (01:15:51):
Hell?

Speaker 5 (01:15:52):
No kicks.

Speaker 8 (01:15:55):
He wants to kick it, and he likes to kick
it real high. So I'll kick it real high and fine,
and after about fifteen attention, you know, he's pretty puffed
out and tired, and that means I can go back
to doing what I was doing. I've got a niece
and when she was young, she was at school, she
was very good at athletics, lungs and running all that
sort of stuff. In the end at the school when

(01:16:18):
it comes to sports days and stuff like that, she
was cleaning up in the races. So they ended up
telling her to slow down and let other people win.
That really demorrol.

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
That's terrible.

Speaker 8 (01:16:28):
To the point where she almost, yeah, where she almost
gave up. You know, athletics. Now got along.

Speaker 9 (01:16:33):
Story short.

Speaker 11 (01:16:33):
She went to.

Speaker 8 (01:16:34):
Australia for brothership, did over there, over there for a
wee bit and she went to school there and she
could not get over how competitive things were over there.
There wasn't any You let this kid win because you've
won two races. It's only fair. She ended up getting
back into her track and field and to the point
where she could have represented Australia and then, like a

(01:16:56):
lot of people else, no one of the Australians are
so good. Yeah, the worst winners in their cockie, but
they're not out to good participation awards. And that's what
we see a lot today. And to be honest, we
feel like we can take your kids, you know, to
win and be good winners and that sort of thing.
But I think the school system has also got a
lot to say for it South too, for saying it's

(01:17:17):
okay to fail. It's okay to fail, but not all
the time.

Speaker 19 (01:17:20):
Well you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:17:21):
Yeah, but you need to know that you failed. That's
the thing. You need to know that this false idea.
I had this situation where my one of my sons
was very good batsman and the other one was rubbish,
and the other parents and coaches kept on telling my
younger son that he was amazing at betting, and we
were driving home in the car and the younger son,
who's terrible, was giving my oldest son advice, saying, you

(01:17:43):
should do what I do because you know I'm great.
Right to turn around and go No, people are telling
you you're great, you're rubbish, mate.

Speaker 3 (01:17:49):
Yeah you're deluded.

Speaker 2 (01:17:50):
Yeah you're great at some things, but you need to
know that you're not as good as your brother because
he spends more time playing cricket and he's spent more
time practicing.

Speaker 3 (01:17:57):
Yeah you know.

Speaker 8 (01:17:59):
Yeah, And that's kind of like while I was coaching
my young fellers, like he's a very.

Speaker 12 (01:18:03):
Goodly rugby player, and like when they.

Speaker 8 (01:18:05):
Got to the age when it was like, you know,
most value player, player of the day. Yeah, when they
got to say it was getting to the stage thirteen
fourteen year olds were wanting the McDonald's to forget Well,
who's player of the day is like everyone's player of
the day, mate, I'm not just giving it out. And
I stopped doing it. Yeah, you know, because even the
parents are putting the hardware I should give so and

(01:18:25):
so Ago was like, well hang on, they went out
and missed fifty tackles and just walked everywhere and just
participate exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:18:32):
Yes, spot on, it's my kid's turn to get player
of the day. Well, was he the player of the day?

Speaker 3 (01:18:36):
No, yes, it's not his to No, McDonald's about to
for you. We're going to carry this on for about
after three o'clock. Oh eight hundred and eighty ten eighties
the number.

Speaker 1 (01:18:45):
Your new home are insightful and entertaining talk. It's Maddie
and Tyler Adams afternoons on News Talk.

Speaker 3 (01:18:52):
Sibby, Very good afternoon to you. Welcome back into the
show where we're having a great chat about letting kids
win or should you ever let kids win? And this
is on the back of Ugen Klopp. He is a
veteran Liverpool manager hailed is one of the best of
his generation. Did phenomenal things with that team Liverpool we
FC oh.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
One hundred and eighty ten eighty. So should you go
easy on your kids so they can experience victory or
is it about building resilience and teaching the reality of
life by being better at them until they finally slay
the dragon and become better than you. That's really the question.
And also we're getting a few great stories about when
people finally bet their parents at a sport finally bet

(01:19:34):
dad or mum at a particular thing I've talked about before.
When I finally my son finally met me at chess.
That was one son. Yeah, celebrations, they were bigger than
the celebrations of World Cup in twenty eleven. He had
huge celebrations at finally beating me and so for him
all those losses were worth it. Also, my other son

(01:19:58):
and I have raced on ski fields off the lift
first of the bottom for years, in years and years,
so we always got up the chairlift together off the top.
I just smashed him for years and years that but
then recently he is so much faster than me and
so he's so fearless. Reminds me of when I was

(01:20:20):
a teenager, just the you can't compete with the lack
of fear. He will risk anything to beat me. He
will just go straight, you know, he'll go off a
cliff yep just to beat me.

Speaker 3 (01:20:31):
There's a joy in that fearlessness. Then just turn the
skis to the bottom and then gets go for it.
He will stop you.

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
He'll run me off the skill field to beat me,
and it's the most fun in the world. And now
it's flipped where I'm just desperate to beat him now.
And even though I've got my natural dad fear coming
in as a get older, I will I will beat him.
I will beat him again one more time, one more
time before the end. Charlie, if you're listening, which I
absolutely know you're not, I will beat you one more

(01:20:58):
time before the end of it. If it means spending
two years in hospital recovery.

Speaker 3 (01:21:02):
Even going off that cliff, You've got to put your
body on the line, man, That's what it's going to take.
Oh eight hundred eighty eight is the number of cool.
Love to hear your thoughts about this and whether you
do let your kids ever win at competition.

Speaker 2 (01:21:14):
This text is great show there are always going to
be winners and losers. You need to teach them how
to practice, which makes people improve. Don't be soft or
you have cheatahs. Jack, Yeah, yeah, I'm a teacher. Aide
says this text out and I've seen this over the years.
You're all winners' kids. It's not the way to teach resilience.
You work hard to win. It's all failed from the

(01:21:35):
party bag someone's birthday, but you all get a present.
We need children to have resilience. This is another issue.
Where did the party bag come from? Where you go
to a party and every kid leaves a little bag.
That's got to stop. Yeah, that has got to stop.
The kid whose birthday is gets the present.

Speaker 3 (01:21:52):
That's a good point.

Speaker 2 (01:21:53):
And maybe if you win the past the parcel. Yeah,
but apart from that, you're going home with nothing. You're
turning up with a lego set and you're going home
with nothing. Kids.

Speaker 3 (01:22:01):
I did love that party bag though, that was fantastic.

Speaker 2 (01:22:04):
But you also did that come in with your generation?

Speaker 3 (01:22:06):
Do you think it was a millennial thing? Everybody needed
a little party bag? See he did your week candies
and you had you a couple of toys, and everybody's
a winner.

Speaker 2 (01:22:14):
I couldn't believe when my mother and children sent me
out to get stuff for a party bag.

Speaker 3 (01:22:19):
I'm not whose birthday is it here? No, Rachel, how
are you this afternoon?

Speaker 16 (01:22:24):
I'm good?

Speaker 6 (01:22:25):
How are you very good?

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
Sounds like you're traveling backwards, Rachel? Are you?

Speaker 16 (01:22:28):
Oh?

Speaker 18 (01:22:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 27 (01:22:29):
Sorry?

Speaker 2 (01:22:30):
No, all good?

Speaker 6 (01:22:30):
Yeah, my child up.

Speaker 16 (01:22:34):
You're going to be mortified.

Speaker 2 (01:22:35):
Now all right, just let we'll let it go. We'll
let it get in the car. Is you in the car.
You need to let it get in the car.

Speaker 16 (01:22:41):
Yeah, yeah, she's a car.

Speaker 2 (01:22:44):
Okay, Hello, hello, Rachel's hello.

Speaker 16 (01:22:48):
I was wanting to talk about winning at all costs. Yes,
and and my family growing up even today, if you when.

Speaker 3 (01:22:55):
You are the best, yes, yep, no.

Speaker 16 (01:22:59):
Questions about it. In fact, we used to have a
batch at y hit key ye back probably around the
nineties nineteen.

Speaker 3 (01:23:07):
You're definitely winning.

Speaker 27 (01:23:08):
I remember.

Speaker 16 (01:23:10):
Yeah, No, we don't have it anymore.

Speaker 27 (01:23:12):
But my dad.

Speaker 16 (01:23:15):
We used to always play cricket, cricket on the beach.
I remember my dad smashing the ball into the water
so much so that my brother nearly drowned himself trying
to swim out past the waves to get it as
Dad was just running between the wickets with his hands
in the air. Like yeah, And I think I have
a feeling Mum might have threaten to divorce him. That

(01:23:38):
might go out and help.

Speaker 2 (01:23:39):
That might be just a sniff too far there, Rachel.

Speaker 16 (01:23:44):
Yes, but I have I have followed on the tradition
and it's the same in my family. We don't let
them one. But now, like you say, with my older kids,
I actually can't one.

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
So so the child, the child that you've just picked
up and it's jumped in the back of your car, Rachel.

Speaker 6 (01:24:00):
That was my son.

Speaker 2 (01:24:01):
That's that's your son. And has can he beat you
at anything yet? Rachel?

Speaker 16 (01:24:07):
He's been able to beat me since I had to
stop playing rugby league with him, since about seven son.

Speaker 3 (01:24:14):
Yeah yeah, and.

Speaker 16 (01:24:17):
Now it's just no, yeah, even basketball.

Speaker 15 (01:24:19):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:24:20):
Well, is there anything you can beat him at yet? Still? Chess?

Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
Probably snakes and letters, Okay, it's a game of chance, chance.

Speaker 6 (01:24:28):
Of the dice.

Speaker 2 (01:24:29):
Yeah, So you need to find something that you're really
good at just to continue the defeating of him for
his own personal growth.

Speaker 16 (01:24:36):
I was going to say, I think table tennis.

Speaker 3 (01:24:38):
Oh okay, yeah, good.

Speaker 16 (01:24:40):
Yeah, we've got to be carried away with table tennis
in my family that we've got a trophy and my
dad called himself the wizard. But that's a whole nother
story table tennis. So I reckon I could still one.

Speaker 2 (01:24:53):
We'll just get get a coach in the background, you know,
spend a lot of money, become amazing at it, and
just quietly don't say anything, and then just turn up
with just the most incredible serve that changes direction on landing,
that'll get them. Thank you for you call Rachel you
know my partner's family, they talk up heavily how competitive

(01:25:14):
they are.

Speaker 3 (01:25:14):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:25:14):
And I was at a sort of a table tennis
tournament with her family, and the table tennis tournament got
so intense, and I'm just new to the family, yep,
got so intense that my partner's mum broke her wrist
playing table tennis.

Speaker 3 (01:25:31):
Wow, did you win?

Speaker 2 (01:25:32):
Though I wasn't. I wasn't actually at the other end
of the court at that point.

Speaker 3 (01:25:36):
It was a challenger.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
I'm not sure who the challenger was, but it got
to the point where she had broken wrist and had
to get rushed off to hospital. That's how intense that
table tennis tournament got well done, and it was putting
your body on the line, and it was good to see.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
Yeah, fantastic.

Speaker 2 (01:25:49):
She was horrible to see, but the level of competition
was good to see.

Speaker 16 (01:25:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:25:52):
Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty. I'm still thinking about
that table tennis match we had, mate, We've got to
have a rematch. I mean, I'm still I'm still dirty
on that that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:59):
I will never let you, oh man, for your own
good time.

Speaker 3 (01:26:03):
I've got it. Build resilience eight hundred eighty ten eighty
is the number to call love to you your thoughts. Ever,
let your children win?

Speaker 2 (01:26:09):
Parents, stop carrying your kids school bag. You look like
a loser. That's a good but you cannot care. Oh
my god, you cannot carry your kids school bag to
school for them.

Speaker 3 (01:26:17):
That's the bare minimum. That's not even a competition.

Speaker 2 (01:26:19):
You're a parent, not a sherpa.

Speaker 3 (01:26:20):
I've got shoulders us talk said, be afternoon to year
seventeen pass three. Do you ever let your kids win?
Love to hear your thoughts on our eight one hundred
and eighty ten eighty. So many texts are coming through
on nine to nine to two, and.

Speaker 2 (01:26:35):
There's a sort of sight issue going on as well
as when did party bags become a thing? You know
when you go to a party and it's not just
the person whose birthday is gets presents, it's everyone there,
which I think is disgusting. This text said worst ever
party bag my daughter came home with was a goldfish.

Speaker 3 (01:26:51):
That is that is a pain of the bart that
nobody wants a goldfish to come home to.

Speaker 2 (01:26:55):
No one wants a goldfish. You think goldfish are gonna beautiful,
They're gonna they're gonna swim around it's gonna be peaceful.
And then you have to clean out the tank.

Speaker 3 (01:27:03):
So much, Edmund, and they're boring. They just swim around.

Speaker 2 (01:27:06):
Yeah, don't even look that we had a great golf.
It is called apple that I'll never say a bad
word about Peter your thoughts on letting kids win, not.

Speaker 20 (01:27:16):
Even unless it's legit. I used to move the goalpost
where I could, like if we're playing uno or five
crowns and she was getting destroyed, I'd make sure that
I accidentally put down the wrong cards so she would
have an ability to give me pick up twenty or whatever,

(01:27:37):
but still crush her and so make it yeah like
last card and all that. Always make it hard for yourself,
but still still make sure you win and make a big,
big player. You know, I had twenty cards in my hand.
You had three, you know, blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (01:27:54):
And did you do that and because of your belief
that it was good for parenting or was it a
competitive thing?

Speaker 20 (01:28:01):
Oh no, that was the way I was taught. You'd
talk by you know, by the more you play, the
better you get. And she beat me and swimming at
the age of sixteen, and again I moved the gold
post a little bit by saying that you can beat
me in all four strokes, then you're the king and

(01:28:22):
the only one. She can't beat me, and she can't
do twenty five meters underwater yet, So I'm still raining, raining.
But it's good though. I think it's really good for
them because they learn that you're not the entirewood, you're
not the best at everything. There's going to be people
that will destroy you without even smiling at you.

Speaker 2 (01:28:43):
So yeah, yeah, And it also teaches them that competence
is something to strive for and something to be admired.
So the fact that that Dad's good at something is
something to strive for. And then and it's worthwhile. It's
for want a better word, you're a dragon. That's worth saying.

(01:29:04):
You know, if you just trample over all over dad
from a young age, you you know, that's not a
great role model situation. You just go or Dad's useless,
and that's disappointing.

Speaker 20 (01:29:17):
It gets to a different point though, Like we did
this thing down at the Aquatic Center down town where
one meter board, three meter board five, eight, And here
I am sitting at the eight meter board up on
the platform going hey damn, and I'm like, oh, well,
if you don't go, you're a chicken. And if I jump,
and I turned around and looked back up for it,

(01:29:39):
she jumped, and I'm right ten meters next I'm going
to soar end call from that last one. But yeah,
you have to do it. You have to do it.

Speaker 3 (01:29:50):
And how long do you reck until she beats you
on the underwater twenty five meters? She must be training,
is she.

Speaker 1 (01:29:57):
No?

Speaker 20 (01:29:57):
Because she she doesn't listen, you know how you hold
your breath and click, you know, so she doesn't like
when we go snorking that she's good, but she doesn't
practice to twenty five. Like whenever I go to the
pool with her, that's the first thing I know. I
do twenty five meters underwater, the first very first thing
I do. And then i'd see where she comes and

(01:30:19):
she's she's close. I reckon. She's about maybe eighteen meters.

Speaker 2 (01:30:27):
You hold onto that out, You hold onto that twenty
five meters for as long as you can, Peter.

Speaker 3 (01:30:31):
Yeah, you need it. You need a couple of crowns.

Speaker 2 (01:30:33):
They're called loot bags. Obviously you never prepared them bags. Okay,
for a start, Texter, I have prepared these party bags before,
and it disgusted me that they exist. That every kid
gets a party bag when they leave a party. And
you can call them loot bags if you want, but
I call them party bags. All right, we'll treat bags, okay,
loot bags, pegs. Don't tell me that's not a millennial thing.

Speaker 3 (01:30:56):
Can I just say.

Speaker 2 (01:30:56):
That that's compelled speech. You're telling me to call them
loot bags.

Speaker 3 (01:31:00):
I'll call them whatever I want. Oh, one hundred and
eighty ten eighty is the number to call.

Speaker 2 (01:31:04):
Your dad? Did this to you, Tyler? He did my
dad's words. When I'd leave home for a netball game
or speaking competition, don't come home if you don't win.
That's what that's nearly that nearly killed you across country,
didn't it.

Speaker 3 (01:31:15):
Nearly nearly killed me. So it was into a regional
running competition. And can I say I was a pretty
good runner. I was the pride of Hope School at
the time. There was about ten schools that were competing.
And the old man before I left, he did say
he said, if you don't come third or better, don't
bother coming home. Now I think he was kind of joking,
but that motivation. I ended up getting third place. I
lost my shoe in the middle and had to run

(01:31:36):
back and get my shoe and almost completely destroyed me.
But hey, that was motivation. I knew if I didn't
get at least third place, then I was homeless from
that point on.

Speaker 2 (01:31:45):
But what's amazing about that is that you got third
place and ran back and got your shoe.

Speaker 3 (01:31:52):
Yeah. So also conscious I could have got I could
have got first.

Speaker 2 (01:31:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:31:56):
And I don't know how Dad felt about that. Actually,
he was probably a bit disappointed that I had to
go back and get my shoe.

Speaker 2 (01:32:00):
You couldn't zole a butt it into a half solar.
But I should have just left the shoe there, Matt.
When my son was younger, we decided no party bag.
See this physicals and party bag at his birthday. Other
kids had a mountdown when they discovered this. Where did
this idea come from? That's from Craig. Yeah, you go
to a party and leave with presents.

Speaker 3 (01:32:20):
It's got to stop a bunch of losers. Yeah, it's
twenty three past three.

Speaker 2 (01:32:24):
All those cute little kids at parties. Bunch of losers.

Speaker 1 (01:32:27):
Hard enough, Matt Heathen Tyler Adams afternoons call oh eight
hundred eighty eighty on US dogs.

Speaker 3 (01:32:37):
V News doorgs VV. It is twenty five past three.
Are we getting so many calls about where that you
should ever let your kids win it? Competition?

Speaker 2 (01:32:47):
And there's sort of a side quest on around this topic.
Fully agree with Goodie Bags wrong message to my kids
needs to learn the day isn't about him. Yeah, yeah,
the band, the Goodie Bags, Yeah, you don't need to
do it parents and if the kids throw a shit.
I think the problem with parents though, is that we
go well. I want my kid to be popular, so
I don't want them to have a party in the

(01:33:08):
part not to go well because it won't be popular.
But you need to get your head out of whether
your kids popular. That's not it's your kid's job to
become popular or not. You know, you can't buy them
into popularity. Very true, I totally. I agree, totally. It
makes our kids resilient and they learn how to win
or lose. This is on the topic of not letting
your kids win and how to mentally deal with this

(01:33:29):
and help others that can't cope. Says the TEXTA. This
is all for their life skills for the future. It's
a life skill. And on that I'm on a losing
streak and it's making a cooking sour dough. I just
can't get it, and the oldest has nailed it. I'm
sneaking in some attempts and I'm getting better. But in
the meantime on the family chat is my sour dough

(01:33:49):
photo with it x ribbing family love and respect.

Speaker 3 (01:33:52):
Yeah, ithurs when they beat you at the sour dough.

Speaker 2 (01:33:54):
Yeah, Debbie, welcome to the show.

Speaker 28 (01:33:56):
Hi, how are you guys?

Speaker 2 (01:33:58):
Very good? Thank you calling good.

Speaker 28 (01:34:00):
Look I align with Peter the caller before you play.
I mean, when they're tiny, you let them win and
it's fun, but eventually you start to go, no, you've
got to win on your own. With my kids, when
we were playing games and things like that, and if
they lost, they start to sort of grumpies and sulks
and things, and you go, well, hang on, how do
you know it was your day to win today? Maybe

(01:34:21):
it's my day to day and your day tomorrow it's not,
you know, So we've sort of got around it that
way a little bit, that you have to keep trying
because you never know when it's your day to win,
and if you don't keep trying, you're never going to
get there sort of thing.

Speaker 2 (01:34:35):
So what do you reckon is the age of swapover
from letting them when to going hard.

Speaker 28 (01:34:43):
Look, I would probably go three four, maybe four sort
of thing there. You've got to, you know, put your
socks on a little bit as an adult, you know,
and they slowly get a little bit higher. It depends
on the kid's character.

Speaker 16 (01:34:53):
And things like that.

Speaker 28 (01:34:56):
My eldest was a kid that probably at three we
had the socks half way up to our knee sort
of thing, playing where the go you can lose, you
can deal with it sort of thing, and she would
think outside the square of trying to how can I win?
So it depends on the but I reckon around then
you've got to start to teach them. You know that
it's you don't need refunk.

Speaker 16 (01:35:14):
But.

Speaker 2 (01:35:16):
Think if you called Debbie With my kids, I used
to do a lot of w WE wrestling with them
from a very young age, from like three onwards, and
you went hard, Oh absolutely, but you know, not to
hurt them. But mostly i'd get them in a move
and then hit them onto the bed, far into the bed.
But I remember once I was walking down the hallway
and my son Charlie. He came, he was three, and

(01:35:39):
he offers bunk bed. He came launching off his bunk
bed and flew out the door to tackle me. Good boy,
trying to do you know, an elbow drop. Well, he
just came flying out the door and with his elbow
out and I had to I had to catch him

(01:36:00):
in midiir and I was like, okay, we need to
just put some parameters on this.

Speaker 3 (01:36:03):
Good boy. Charlie him always had him.

Speaker 2 (01:36:06):
He set up a he set up a trap for me.

Speaker 3 (01:36:08):
Yeah, all right, we've got the headlines with railing coming up.
But can you hear from you? Oh one hundred and
eighty ten eighty, We've got full boards. If you can't
get through, keep trying. Do you ever let your children win?

Speaker 2 (01:36:19):
Our family saying second place is first loser?

Speaker 3 (01:36:22):
Great science, says this Texter.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
You talks evy headlines with.

Speaker 13 (01:36:28):
Blue bubble, taxis, it's no trouble with a blue bubble.
The National Emergency Management Agency is activated a national coordination
center ahead of destructive winds tomorrow. Met Service has issued
rare red wind warnings in Wellington, Southern Wided, Upper and
Canterbury fires fueled by strong winds yesterday are still burning

(01:36:50):
and the continued heavy weather is stymying firefighters. Cruise is
still at work in Caikoda, but aerial teams in Hawks
Bay are grounded and a new blaze is broken out
north of Dunedin. Police urging witnesses to come forward who
are around Gisbon's Ormond Road and Dale on the night
a man was shot September twenty nine. Nissana is recording

(01:37:14):
more than sixteen hundred j twelve cash Kais SUVs. They
were built between twenty twenty two and twenty twenty four.
It's because of a possible fire risk. Owner shall take
their cart in Nisandilas for a free repair. Air Barston
Cafe Pacific signed one hundred and twenty two million dollar
sustainable aviation fuel deal. You can see more at ends

(01:37:36):
in Herald Premium macmail to matt Ethan Tyner Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:37:40):
Thank you very much. Ray Lane. Having a great discussion
about do you ever let your children win at games
in competition or does it build resilience to show them
the reality?

Speaker 2 (01:37:50):
Dev says, hey, guys, what about that child that never
wins it any sport, just not athletic. I am the
least athletic person in my house and the smallest always
picked glass for sports team type of kid. Yeah, but
it doesn't have it's not just about sport, like I
was saying before, the artwork for the fridge, for example,
So there needs to be a standard of artwork before

(01:38:13):
a child has gets the reward of having that artwork
put on the fridge. I remember we had a discussion
where one of my kids drew this great picture and
we put it on the fridge, and then he just
started coming running over to the table doing a little
scribble and bringing it over to be put on the fridge. Right,
and one of those pictures got put on the fridge,
and then I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

(01:38:33):
no no. There is a minimum standard of effort that
needs to be put into a picture before it gets
the reward of being put on the fridge. Otherwise you've
got a kid running back just getting a crown, doing
a couple of scribbles and then bringing it up and
getting the reward, and then they don't understand the idea
that the reward comes with work.

Speaker 3 (01:38:51):
So good point their quality control and that message of
I mean if they spent half a day doing that
it's different, right. You can see they're putting energy and
a bit of skill involved into that and learning and
getting some challenge under their belt.

Speaker 2 (01:39:04):
And you know, the smallest kid or you know, the
youngest kids know any really So it's not you know,
it's not about sport. It could be cards, could be monopoly, cludo, yep,
whatever it is, art, sport, whatever it is. You know,
you just teach kids that that they have to work
for the rewards that they get.

Speaker 3 (01:39:25):
Yeah, right, yeah, I agree, right right.

Speaker 2 (01:39:30):
And to tell you what, the greatest sports people and
the greatest achievers in the world are people that have
older kids. It's you know that that they have to
compete with, right, Yeah, So you may be the smallest
and you may be the worst, but you'll be you'll
be made better by competing with older kids in your family.

Speaker 3 (01:39:48):
Very true.

Speaker 2 (01:39:48):
Look at the Hadley.

Speaker 3 (01:39:49):
Brothers, Tracy, how are you hi?

Speaker 6 (01:39:53):
Good things?

Speaker 3 (01:39:55):
So you are what? You cheated a little bit in
games when you were younger.

Speaker 27 (01:40:00):
No, my youngest one, when he's about three or four,
got given a wiggle snakes and letters. Yeah, yep, and
I could not beat them. I cheated like hell if
I could not beat him for years and he used
to say things like, I feel like one in today,
so let's just play. We'll all Snakes and Letters. And
I think, oh, you're in the last and I've beat
you today. But no, you'd still beat me and I

(01:40:21):
would cheat like hell.

Speaker 2 (01:40:23):
And so I haven't played Snakes and Letters for a while.
But is there a skill element to Snakes and Letters?
Or is it completely random?

Speaker 4 (01:40:32):
Oh?

Speaker 27 (01:40:32):
I think it was just completely red could not be
and he just got really cocky about it. Even now
that adults, we still laugh about it.

Speaker 2 (01:40:43):
I love that, Tracy. Yeah, fantastic. I mean, And how
do you cheat at snakes? Snakes and Letters? Are you
counting the rolling the dice? And then you just sort
of counted a little bit wrong, so you don't you
don't arrive on a snake.

Speaker 27 (01:40:56):
Exactly, or you might just land on the biggest letter.

Speaker 3 (01:41:00):
M Yeah, bringing a loaded die. Yeah, Tracy, but there
must have been I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:41:04):
Still angry at my sister. She would always cheat at Monopoly.

Speaker 3 (01:41:08):
How do you oh when they steal money from the bank. Yeah, yeah,
that's dirty, It's real dirty. Yes, And it's a frustrating
game at the best of times.

Speaker 2 (01:41:16):
And there's some members of any given family that cannot
be allowed to run the bank. Yeah, that monopoly, So
where's the sibling.

Speaker 3 (01:41:21):
My orderbro was the same. He'd sit on the money.
I could see. I caught him one time when he
was sneaking a Hundie and he just put it under
his bum and I could see it just sticking out there. Dylan,
what are you doing. You've let yourself down. You've let
this family down, you know. Yeah, I just can't be
doing that to win this game.

Speaker 2 (01:41:37):
Yeah, that's right. You like the balloon that took the
balloon child that took the pin to school and the
principal said, look, you've let yourself down, let the school down,
you've let your teacher down, and worst of all, you've
let yourself down.

Speaker 3 (01:41:54):
I wanted where you go with that, but very well done, mate, JOHNO,
how are you mate?

Speaker 2 (01:42:00):
Welcome to the show.

Speaker 8 (01:42:02):
Hey, bit of the next story.

Speaker 20 (01:42:06):
We used to race the.

Speaker 29 (01:42:08):
Bikes every now and then, usually go once a weekend
and work sort of thing. We used to practice files them.
The first competitive race that I did, you know, I
didn't have the flashers bike, but we do with what
with what I had. There was a five racing, five
races in one day, I came first, then the first
three and then my bike you know, comped out on

(01:42:30):
the last two and I idea if the last two
races and that put me out of the top three
by one. I was placed fourth at the end of
the day, and there was hip to sop prises at
the end of the day, and you know, the common
sener goes, you know, whoever has on a trophy today,

(01:42:51):
come up and grab a spot price.

Speaker 30 (01:42:53):
And I was.

Speaker 29 (01:42:54):
I was on my way up and my old man
sort of grabbed me by the shoulder and said, no,
you know, just just think back and you just watch,
watch and you know, let the other kids take take
stuff like that. And I was a bit like wow,
you know, like wow, you know all that sort of thing.
It didn't really make sense to me at the time.
Why but you know, like looking back a couple of

(01:43:14):
years and thinking about it now, he still brings it
up and we have conversations about it and he goes,
you know, how to make you feel And it makes
me work harder, and it makes me appreciate the things
more that I earn, and it makes me you know, yes,
you know, I don't want to get I don't want
to get handouts, But it makes me appreciate the things
that I have to work a lot harder for.

Speaker 2 (01:43:33):
Yeah, and so you had a couple of didn't did
not finishes, did you say.

Speaker 29 (01:43:37):
Yeah, Yeah, the bike broke down on Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:43:39):
And that's a real that's a huge lesson, isn't it
that that also sometimes things outside of your control go
wrong and you have to deal with that as well. Yeah.

Speaker 29 (01:43:50):
I guess the most hilarious part about this was a
couple of weeks after that was oncely got the bike
up and running. I actually ended up beating him at
the race.

Speaker 3 (01:43:58):
Nice and it.

Speaker 29 (01:43:59):
Was it was the quietest drive home I've ever heard
after racing. I was probably about sixteen or seven, and
there's no forty that sort of thing, and he'd been
racing for a long time and I've only just started
racing for a couple of years. And yeah, he does
a very very quiet drive home after that.

Speaker 2 (01:44:18):
It's a weird feeling when your kids beat you, because it's,
as we were saying before, it's a mix of pride
and and but also there's a mortality to it as well,
because you're you're you're on it's you're in a way
on the way down. You're in the decline and they're
on the up.

Speaker 3 (01:44:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:44:39):
So but you know, generally speaking, the only person you
want to beat you is your kids, right, do better
than you.

Speaker 29 (01:44:46):
I didn't necessarily feel particularly good about it because he
was the one funding all the motorbike riding and all
that sort of thing. But hey, you know cut on
the inside of a corner and took the wind.

Speaker 3 (01:44:55):
Yeah, m john O, it's on him. There's got to
be some sort of German word for that feeling. Oh,
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number.

Speaker 2 (01:45:03):
Dean reckons that the loser party bags have brought up.
Loser school bag carrying parents. So yeah, I mean you've
got it. You can't be carrying your kid's bag to school. Yeah,
you see it all the time. You've got the kid
walking along and the parents carrying. I've seen I've seen
parents walking two kids home and they've got a backpack
on front and back, you know, and the kids just

(01:45:25):
walking along.

Speaker 3 (01:45:26):
It just creates weak children. Yeah, their shoulders are going
to just fall apart.

Speaker 2 (01:45:30):
Plus, you know, the cutest thing the kid with a
massively huge bag just stumbling down the road. And on
the topic of those party bags. Someone says, is it
a goodie bag or a party bag? Because you called
it both your knob Look, I don't care what people
call these things that you leave parties with, loot bags,

(01:45:50):
goodie bags, or party bags. What I was complaining about
was the compelled speech of someone telling me that I
had to call it a loop bag. I'm against compelled
speech and all forms. You call that humiliating bag that
you give kids when they leave a party, what you
want to call it. But the point we're really trying
to make here is that it's someone else's birthday, so

(01:46:10):
they get the presents, not you. Charlotte disagree, Charlene disagrees.
Party bags or a little thank you for the gift
and for coming. Well, that's why I make them. Yeah,
good on you. You're you're a lovely person, I'm sure. But
sometimes it's someone else's day, It's all I'm saying. Yeah,
sometimes it's the you know, And this TIX says, cut cake.

(01:46:32):
Send them home with a little cake wrapped in a napkin.
Now that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:46:35):
Yeah, that's a nice thing to do.

Speaker 2 (01:46:36):
Absolutely, it's not a goodie bag.

Speaker 3 (01:46:38):
That's just a nice thing to do after a party.
Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number to call.
Do you ever let your kids win? It is eighteen
to four?

Speaker 2 (01:46:46):
Oh, this is nice though this text. I always carry
my daughter's bags. She's my little princess. Fair enough to
It's hard to argue with that one. Yeah, fair enough,
that's good pushback. Yeah, that's played. That's played my heart strings.

Speaker 17 (01:46:57):
That one.

Speaker 3 (01:46:58):
Hat's in the fields.

Speaker 1 (01:47:00):
Matt Heath, Taylor Adams with you as your afternoon rolls
on Matt Heath and Taylor Adams Afternoons news talks.

Speaker 3 (01:47:07):
That'd be news dogs there b sixteen to four. Do
you let your kids ever win at competition? Or do
you think it beilds resilience?

Speaker 2 (01:47:14):
Hilarious topic, guys, My daughter's friend is so competitive. She
will start a jigsaw with you hide a piece at
the beginning, which means she always gets to put the
last piece in to say she finished it.

Speaker 3 (01:47:25):
Wow, Well I like your style.

Speaker 2 (01:47:27):
That might be too far. Playing cricket. If our son
was bold out he laid down on the bat and
hugged it so tight no one could get it off him.
We would all just walk away. No more cricket. Yeah,
I mean, that's the lesson to learn. You know that
if you're going to behave like that, then people just
won't play with you anymore. And that's an important Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:47:44):
You've got to be a good winner and a good loser.

Speaker 2 (01:47:46):
You said before, you can't buy kids popularity, but realistically,
in today's world, that's what everybody does. Yeah, I mean
you might be able to buy kid's popularity, but it's
a pretty stale popularity. We're talking about, you know, a
kid's party being so fantastic and the goodie bag that
they take home or lootberg that they take home being

(01:48:06):
so fantastic that the kids are popular. That's a pretty
hollow popularity, isn't it.

Speaker 3 (01:48:12):
It's not a long term strategy for that kid. You've
got to push back at that sort of stuff because
that kids, as you said before, he's got to be
or she's got to be popular in her own right.
Got to figure that out. You can't rely off you
have goodie bags.

Speaker 2 (01:48:23):
Yeah, do that for because you're not always going to
be able to running around school hanging out goodie bags
all day. For the kids.

Speaker 3 (01:48:28):
Yeah, exactly, they're.

Speaker 2 (01:48:29):
Going to have to learn how to be popular themselves.
Not that being popular is important, they just need a
few good friends. Nicely said, Hi, guys, just look what's
happening with the Silver Ferns netball team. Couple of players
didn't like the regime, complained about the environment and mental
health and bang, you have a real mess just because
it got a little hard for them and they're representing

(01:48:50):
us on the world stage. That is sad for us.
Cheers from Graham.

Speaker 3 (01:48:55):
John, how are you you're going well?

Speaker 10 (01:48:57):
How you go?

Speaker 3 (01:48:58):
Very good? So do you always try and beat your boys?
Beg your pardon, that's not quite right, sorry, Do you
always try and win that? John?

Speaker 30 (01:49:07):
We have before, but I've gave that up a long
time ago. But no else is more around lifting weights,
and I've lifted them all my life, and I thought
I've introduced them to it really at a right age,
you know, when their bodies are forming up, sort of
late teens, and so I introduced them to the three
hundred club, which is the three big discipline bench press,
squat and deadlift and if you can lift one hundred

(01:49:30):
kilos of each one, then you're in the three hundred club.

Speaker 7 (01:49:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 30 (01:49:34):
So it's really cool, fun and we do it every
Christmas Eve and we have done.

Speaker 17 (01:49:38):
For the last.

Speaker 30 (01:49:41):
Eleven years now.

Speaker 2 (01:49:42):
How cool?

Speaker 30 (01:49:43):
Yeah, really really cool. And of course I won for
many of those years. And then the older one, who
turns twenty nine today, actually he finally got me at
twenty three. I got there, and of course you know
that was a great celebration for sa him. And the
young one's still still coming up. He's turning twenty one

(01:50:06):
in November and he hasn't quite got the bench yet.
But no, I never let them win. It was always
you got to do it. You've got to press through,
and if you don't, you come back next year.

Speaker 2 (01:50:18):
See that. What's so great about that, John, is I
love the Christmas Eve element of it, because if you'd
let them win, then that special tradition wouldn't have continued
and it wouldn't have any meaning. But because the way
you've you've laid it out, you've given it meaning, more
meaning to to Christmas Eve, and so much meaning to
when they finally beat you that it's it's just it's

(01:50:41):
it's really what parenting's made of. And that's just so cool.
I love that idea, John. I wish I'd thought of that.

Speaker 30 (01:50:48):
It's great fun. It is, it is actually great fun.
And I've still had a couple of years left in me,
I think to still be in the club. But you
decline as this phone goes on. But anyway, I'm sure
the young one is going to get me this year.

Speaker 2 (01:51:02):
And that'll be And that's what was what's your feeling
when when each kid finally beats you, John, what's your
feeling in your heart?

Speaker 8 (01:51:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 30 (01:51:10):
Just pride, you know, Yeah, yeah, absolutely, kind of same
pride and and you know, just sort of hope that
they're going to carry it on, you know, because you
got to do that resistance training when you get older.

Speaker 3 (01:51:23):
Very true. Yeah, what a great thing to do.

Speaker 2 (01:51:25):
Absolutely, yeah, I mean it flips over and becomes great
for you to keep that going.

Speaker 30 (01:51:29):
Yeah, look absolutely isn't they You know, they give me
a ship about it. Come on, pops, and you know
it's great fun.

Speaker 3 (01:51:36):
Yeah, love that, John, Thank you very much. Mary. You
want to have a chat about snakes and letters?

Speaker 11 (01:51:43):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:51:43):
Yes. When I used to look after my granddaughter a lot,
and of course she was the youngest with older siblings
and that, and so she always wanted to win, and
so she'd perform and carry on, and she'd shake the
dice and all this sort of thing, and she'd get

(01:52:03):
up to say ninety nine, and I said, just I
can still catch you.

Speaker 20 (01:52:07):
You know enough, and I would.

Speaker 5 (01:52:09):
And then one day, all of a sudden, she's sort
of just contemplating that, and I just picked up the mat.
It was a big mat on the floor, picked up
the mat, threw the dice and that and the counters
all over the room, and said, when you know. She

(01:52:30):
was so shocked, and and then I'd take it to
them all and she's always I want this, I want that.
And so we're walking down towards the two dollars shop
and that, and and I stopped and I said, I
don't want to go and all this and acted like
she did with Tenter.

Speaker 2 (01:52:51):
So did she do you think? Do you think she
learned something from that?

Speaker 4 (01:52:55):
Mary?

Speaker 2 (01:52:55):
Do you reckon? She? She goes, Once I've seen that,
I don't want to behave like that anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:52:59):
Yeah, yeah, good on your tastes of their own medicine.

Speaker 2 (01:53:03):
Greg, it's all about when you retire.

Speaker 19 (01:53:06):
Yeah, absolutely, I said to this whole discussion as learning
to when it's time to retire. I used to do
running races with my boys, and when I started the
sense that it was getting pretty close, I decided to
retire unbeaten like some of those givaway boxes too. Just
decide that the world champions, they'll retire unbeaten before they

(01:53:27):
get clovered. So so now I can always say to
my sons that they've never ever been in a running race,
no matter how old. Again, I'll always be able to
carry that one over on them.

Speaker 2 (01:53:36):
Yeah, but you know, money talks bought at warts. You know,
you know, initially they'll wrestle up enough money to get
you out of retirement.

Speaker 3 (01:53:43):
Greg, just one more.

Speaker 19 (01:53:45):
Yeah, you just don't let the fats get them way.
Have a good story. So now I'm going to keep
that mantle of world champion, and our family have running racers.

Speaker 3 (01:53:54):
I'm Greg. Good on you, Greg, thank you very much.
A couple of texts before we got to play some messages.

Speaker 2 (01:54:00):
I'm forty seven. Can I enter as fifteen? If he
can beat me in an eight hundred meter running race,
I'll give him fifty bucks. He's challenged me five times
from when he was thirteen, and he's lost five times.
It's only amount of time till he beats me. But
with fifty bucks on the line, I'll try and win
every time.

Speaker 3 (01:54:15):
Yeah, great text, All right, We've got to play some messages,
but we'll be back very shortly. It is eight minutes
to four. You're listening to Matt and Tyler. Good afternoon to.

Speaker 1 (01:54:23):
You the big stories, the big issues, the big trends
and everything in between. Matt Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons
used talks.

Speaker 3 (01:54:32):
That'd be very good afternoon. Sure it is five two four.

Speaker 2 (01:54:37):
Such a great chat over the last three hours, particularly
the last hour. I've really enjoyed it. But I just
sum it up. I guess not letting your kids win
it teaches them something more valuable than victory, right, which
is probably the word is resilience, right yep. And the

(01:54:58):
losing part of it. It teaches them disappointments, which we'll
get that. It teaches them to learn from their mistakes,
and it teaches them to keep trying. And it's about honest,
it's respect. I guess it shows if it and integrity
matter more than easy wins.

Speaker 3 (01:55:17):
Right yeah. And they're all fantastic lessons to learn. The
earlier the better really for a lot of kids, right yeah,
because that's what you're going to face in the real world.

Speaker 2 (01:55:24):
So they might have a few tantrums here and there.
But in the long run, the proper competition, it prepares
them better for real life and pretend success as a child,
pretend success.

Speaker 3 (01:55:34):
It's not right. And I'm looking forward to hearing the
day that you finally beat your son on those ski
slopes again. Mate, Yeah, it's going to happen.

Speaker 2 (01:55:41):
I think I would end up how crazy he's getting
on the slopes now, I'll end up in hospital before
a beat of beginn.

Speaker 3 (01:55:46):
Yeah, and you'll put your body on the line anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:55:48):
Thank you so much for listening to this show. Loved
our chats today. Heather's next, but Tyler right now, why
am I playing this song from Rupert Holmes.

Speaker 3 (01:55:58):
I love the song, the Pinacolata song or Escape, such
a beautiful love story of this song. For the reason
you're playing that, I assume is because this is almost
like your ideal retirement, right just sitting on the beach
drinking pinakolada, maybe answering some some messages in a newspaper,
you lovely lady close Thailand.

Speaker 2 (01:56:18):
I'm playing the song because people have this vision of
their retirement where they be sitting on a beach drinking
pina koladas. But that'll be interesting for about thirty seconds
or thirty minutes, and then you have to do something
else interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:56:32):
Yeah, yeah, nicely, nicely backed, great journe.

Speaker 2 (01:56:35):
All right till tomorrow, r VO. Whatever you're doing wherever
you are, give them a taste of Kiwi from Tyler
and I. All right, then you seem busy, Mali, you go,
love you Absolute Chune from River Holmes Beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:56:48):
You come for more from News Talk, said B. Listen
live on air or online, and keep our shows with
you wherever you go with our podcast on iHeartRadio

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