Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Mark Simo.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
R Well, Jimmy Fayla, the great TV star, great comedian.
You can hear him every night now on w R
from nine to midnight. It's an excellent show. It's interesting,
it's funny, nine to midnight every weeknight. W R also
does the best late night show Saturday nights at ten
Fox News Channel, with the finest funniest monologue in television.
(00:28):
Every Saturday at ten Fox News Channel. Jimmy Fayla, how
you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I'm doing? Man, What a great week to be a comedian.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Huh yeah, except them all set to watch you Saturday
night like I always do. And then it's preempted by
Maduro getting arrested.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You know, the nerves, and we were, we were ready
to go. I was, actually I was excited to make
that one happen. I think the Maduro thing, since you
mentioned it, is like it's it's a reason like as American,
like we should all be happy. Like America now offers
same day shipping on dictators. Think about that. They got
(01:07):
him in Venezuela Saturday morning. He was in New York
City jail by Saturday at dinner time. Like that's pretty impressive.
If you bought sneakers on Amazon Saturday morning. There's no
chance you had them before Sunday. Trump is bringing in
dictators in eight our This is progress America. I don't
care how you vote.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
So what about these Democrats. They're all yelling, we don't
need to be in another endless war. It was twelve
minutes the whole thing, endless war.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I'm seriously like the soldiers, if you don't have to
bring a cell phone charger, it's not a long war
like this war was the equivalent of do you remember
the space flight with those female astronauts who pretended it
was like an Apollo mission, but they went out in
that Amazon thing. Yeah, you know they're drinking chardonay with
(01:51):
Jeff Bezos's wife. That was an eleven minute flight, Like Mark,
you know that that's not pioneering space travel. That's an
expensive six flags row.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
That's all it was. You know, our old buddy Pete Hegseeth.
They keeps saying he's not qualified, he's the most unqualified. Meantime,
he's pulled off like twelve of the most unbelievable military
operations ever, from taking out a RAN's nuclear erect to
this pretty impressive, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's actually amazing considering sometimes the plans league on Signal.
I mean, give the guy, crist give the guy. They're
getting it done. Man, and everyone who yells about this,
it's like, think about we wanted to get Saddam Hussein?
How much? How many years, how many hundreds of billions
of dollars did we spend in a rack to get
rid of Saddam Hussein? You know what I mean? We
got this guy out. I mean literally in less time
(02:41):
than a Yankee game. Like a Yankey game is about
two hours and five minutes, this was eighty eight minutes.
It's an hour and twenty eight minutes. Any Hole is
an hour and thirty one minutes the iconic film in
the time it took any of you to go home
and watch Andy Hall tonight, we had Midduro out of
a military base Stafeley. I mean, come on, well, you
look back on it.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
The Trump method seems the Bush method of let's invade
the country fight for You're right, why didn't they just
go in and capture Husaying before even starting a war?
Just do that first.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Where That's where honestly you got to give Trump credit
for this one thing. A guy who comes from the
business world. In the business world, you have to be efficient.
Business rewards efficiency because if you're efficient, you have less overhead.
You know, you're not wasting as much money. You get
a quick return on your investment. The government does the opposite.
The government rewards inefficiency because when something doesn't work, they go,
(03:34):
oh great, we'll conduct a billion dollar study wondering why
it didn't work, and the study will conclude we need
another billion to try it again. And that's what they're doing.
I mean, we're like a day away from Minnesota saying
we need to study, we need to study, to study
why the daycares didn't have kids of them. Give us
another billion.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
That's all it is. H Hey, speaking of all this,
Maduro is sitting in a jail note with this Minnesota stuff,
this is all we're going to talk about now for
a month. He must be furious. He's not on TV anymore.
Maduro will get no coverage, She'll be forgotten.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
About, no more memes. He doesn't get any of the
fun videos. You know, you know, it's really stressed out
about all this. And you know this, it's whoever the
printer is for all of these paid protests, because like
the guy like two weeks ago he was making Palestidian flags,
then they became Ukrainian flags. Now they're doing anti ice stuff.
They had a Madurero bump over the weekend. It's like,
(04:29):
I want to know who that printer is that is
turning around, because when Mduk got captured again Saturday morning,
those organized protests were all over the country by Saturday
afternoon and it's probably Soros for somebody else. But whoever
they are, they got a lot of printer act because
I've seen five different flags outside the Fox News building
in the last two weeks, because the protest changes every day.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Well, and you can see you can see Jimmy Fayla
on Fox on the Fox News Channel, and make sure
watch his Saturday night show at ten o'clock. It's excellent,
and of course listen to him every weeknight nine to
midnight here on WR. What's the difference to you between
radio and TV? Which is easier?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Ooh? I mean I like radio because we just have
a little more womb to have a conversation and no
one is chasing me around the studio with a mozobic needle. Okay, TV,
I walk in the door here and it's just like
they're shooting darts at me, just trying to slim me out,
because like I've always dressed like fat Elvis, but in
(05:30):
the last two weeks, I'm telling you go because the holidays,
Like you know you're fat when you're out of breath
reading Okay, I'm reading, by the way, I'm not even kidding,
you're gonna die. I meant to bring this up. I'm
reading this Johnny Carson book that you're quoted in like
several times.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Oh, it's an excellent book, Mark Melcoff. It's the best book,
yes ever on Johnny Carson. It's called Love Johnny Carson.
It's phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
It is phenomenal. And I'm just randomly banging to the
book and they're like Mark Simon, and They'm like, well,
what what's going on? Was amazing? I meant to tell
you that. And they're great quotes and you have a
great take, and it's so like, I really truly appreciate
your understanding and your connection to Late Night because you're
uniquely qualified to explain to your listeners how modern late
(06:19):
night is failing America. Like it is, like you watch
my show, you can see what I'm trying to do.
It's put people to bed with a smile on their
face and not try to be in charge of the country.
You know, the Kimmels of the world, the Cold Bears
of the world, are actually doing the opposite of our job,
and it really hurts the country because that used to
be this one hour a night that was like a
neutral zone. You now they have like that five miles
(06:40):
between North Korea and South Korea where they don't shoot
at each other. Okay, that's what late night used to be.
Now it's you know, they've taken those five miles and
just turned it into a war zone, so we don't
have the off ramp. So I'm trying. And it's like,
I really do appreciate you getting it. When I read
your quotes in that book, it all made sense.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, because you are you know, people say, well, why
can't you get well, what why can't get it? Like
a real late night show like we used to have.
It's Jimmy Fayala every Saturday at ten. If Johnny Carson
were alive today, this is what he would be doing
or watching. It's just you just try to be funny.
You're not trying to preach or or persuade or no,
and it's not angry.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
No. I don't want to be in charge. Mark Mark.
My identity got stolen last year and my credit score
went up thirty six points. Okay, I shouldn't be in
charge of anything. Those Albanians actually boosted my credit score.
I don't want to steer the economy. I just want
to laugh about it.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
You know, hey, you mentioned Elvis. I'm just saying, you know,
today's birthday. He would have been like one hundred and
nineteen or something today. It's his birthday today, So.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
What do you mean would have been? I believe he's
still I'm kidding. It is funny. When you go to Graceland,
they kick you out by five. So I have this
belief that he's just alive. He's just making money off
the tours. He probably plays the stock market. He's a
day trader. We go home at five, he comes down
and eat a sandwich in the jungle room. That's my guess.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Well, he was a very talented guy, but day trader.
He wasn't the smartest guy.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yes, you got me there, all right, you definitely got
me there. I'll trade you this peanut butter and banana
sandwich for a pound of bacons.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, that's what that is. Yeah. Even his menu wasn't
that bright the thing you said. You see the things
he would eat peanut butter and bananas and bacon and yeah.
And so wait, what do you got on Tonight's on
the radio tonight nine to midnight.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Oh, it's a crazy one. Jillian Michaels is on from
The Biggest Loser because she's talking about this RFK food
pyramid thing. Yeah. And then we'll have reporters out on
the scene in Minneapolis, just in case there's any chaos
or whatever. Hopefully it's cold enough that everybody stays home
and behaves. I mean, that's the only thing like is
a comic. In times like this, it is actually a
(08:52):
good time to be doing comedy because you can take
the edge off. Yeah, you don't want to be the
guy on the other side of this, and I don't listen.
I don't have the energy for that, you know. I'm
just trying to tell my dirty jokes and not get
stabbed by that ozambic needle. You know how this works.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
But as a guy who wants to be a comedian
making people laugh, this is all perfect. Tim Waltz, Mom Donnie.
This is great for business, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Well, that's the one thing I laughed about with Tim Waltz.
It's like as bad as this Minnesota story is. They
said all the public schools were closed today, So I'm like, well,
on on the bright side, this will be the first
time that daycares have kids in them if you close
all the public so you might actually have a kid
in one of those daycares, So that'd be good for them.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I guess he's not kidding. They had to close. They've
closed all the schools in Minnesota today and tomorrow just
to be safe.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Ye's so think when I was growing up, we had
snow days. Now we have riot days. Like there's something
wrong with liberal cities when you're getting a riot day,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
So and Mom, Donnie's going to be perfect for the
next four years. I mean for us to make fun
of it might ruin the city, but perfect for our business,
isn't it.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
I love I love his You know I'm gonna work
on free World Cup tickets or affordable World Cup tickets. Yes,
And for everyone who listens to Mark Simona, I'm gonna
work on getting you all a date with Cindy Crawford
Saturday night. You'll get the tube tickets from Mom Tonnie
that aren't coming, and then you'll have a dinner date
with Sidney kra It's like, come on, he just gets on.
(10:25):
He just gets on in front of a camera and
just promises anything. It's it's gonna get tired fast, even
for his supporters, but like you said, it's gonna be
fun for us.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, definitely. Well, Jimmy fail a great talk, and everybody
get that Johnny Carson book. It's called Love Johnny Carson
by Mark Malcolm.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Best, and it is great. I've read a lot of
Carson books. That is the best one I've read by far.
And it's just like you're just a part of the
production of the show. It's so it's, I guess the
best way I could explain it to you, it's like
you're just sitting in on his life. It's it's a
great book and getting past the fact that he quotes
(11:01):
bark Simon.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, but you know, the guy that did it has
been for the last five years doing the Carson Podcast.
Have you ever heard that, Yes, where he interviews everybody
had anything to do with Johnny Carson's fascinating stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
So I would love to meet him. I mean it's
really fast. Really, I was blown I was blown away,
and I didn't I didn't know you were in it,
which is even fun, which is even funnier. So there,
it was like a night surprise party for me.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Well, everybody listened tonight. If you haven't heard Jimmy Faylo's
radio show, it is excellent. It's nine to midnight every weeknight,
nine to midnight w R and don't miss his Saturday
night show. It's the closest thing you get to Johnny
Carson Today, best late night show in television, Saturday nights
at ten Fox News Channel. Jimmy Fayla, thanks for being
with us.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
You're the best.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
All right, take care and don't forget coming up at noon,
Buck Sexton, Klay Travis, that's a real good show every
day at noon. And Sean Hannity. I think it would
be live from Washington, d C. Today at three o'clock
right here on seven ten wo