August 19, 2024 • 14 mins
In this edition of Patty and the Millennials, Patty and the crew tackle the age old question of whether looks and attitude truly influence our perceptions and interactions. How much weight should we really give to appearances in our daily lives? Patty and the crew discess.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Whether it's life, relationships, politics, or current events, nothing is
off limits. This is the Patty and the Millennials podcast,
powered by ACME Markets, helping to bridge the gap between
baby boomers, gen X and millennials.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's another edition of Patty and the Millennials. It's the
podcast where the baby boomer sits down and it's conversation
with millennials, gen X, gen Z. We just have conversation,
and conversation is important. Mother Kim Read is joining us.
She has the book Optimist Always Wins, and Kim, we're
(00:39):
gonna start. This is a true or false question. I
need a true or false and the why people will
treat you better once you take better care of your
physical appearance.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
True?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Why?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Unfortunately unfortunately, Patty, because let me say this first, because people,
you have to feel good about yourself at any at
any size, any age, any beauty level. Right. But the
world is judge, judge, judge, judge. I remember my cousin.
He is a little bit on the.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
More.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
I love to eat fives and she's gorgeous. But she
went for an interview as a front desk manager at
a five star hotel and she feels one of the
reasons why they didn't hire her, because she was very qualified,
(01:45):
was because of her appearance. And you know, it's unfortunate,
but in some industries, in some some circles of small
minded people, they feel if you don't take care of
your outer appearance, that's a reflection of your inner and
how you.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Will do the job.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Or you can't get into the club, you know, because
remember Patty, you're like, you know, forty forty club when
it first opened in New York. I remember I went
with my girlfriends and we knew there's a code, you know.
So it's just unfortunate the way the world is, and
we are a judge as a society. But that does
(02:27):
not dictate your success, It does not dictate your worth,
and it does not dictate your trajectory in life. Really,
so I do want to say.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That Arlene Felder is joining us Glassy Brown Cookies two
twenty four High Street in Burlington, New Jersey. Arlene, you're
around people all the time, true or false? And I
need to know why do happy people want to hang
out with other happy people.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
That's a great question. I'm going to say, yes we do,
because I'm a happy person. Yes, we want to hang
out with other happy people. We don't need any Debbie downers,
any Devin downers, just bringing down our natural high.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
What message would you have for people who are always depressed,
are always angry, mistrustful, because those type people will never
attract the kind of people you know that you want
to be around. They wonder why people stay away because
they're toxic.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
Well, the message coming from me is like, you're not
going to drain my light because I have a shining
light for all to enjoy and to really speak some help,
talk to a therapist, and you know, get your life
in order.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
We've got Dasia mean more joining us the podcast Conversation
Patty and the Millennial Station. We're going to set you
on success. People who look for miracles in short insht cuts, right,
do you think they're blocking their own blessing on the
(04:09):
road to success?
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I think that looking for sure, I think the best
part of the success is the journey is the one
thing that I'm learning personally. So when you try to
look for short cuts, you're missing the character building. All
the lessons that you could begin us and to help
you be successful is be successful when you get finally
to the top of where you're trying to go. So
the short that you can get to where you want
to go, but you're not going to be able to
clip the handle it or keep it without all the
(04:34):
lessons along the process.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
What do you think about being in a moment? How
hard is it to live in the moment?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
It's very hard, especially if a person with a lot
of goals. Because you have a person with a lot
of goals, you have to you always got to think
about what's coming next, to what you're doing next, and
so it's a little hard to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
We got rescreen. It's a senior in Saint Jo's representing
gen z In representing those millennials. We've got Lexi, Hey, crew,
how are you?
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Hey?
Speaker 7 (05:07):
Hey, Hey, how's it going?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Doing good? Doing good? We're hitting you at life questions, Lexi,
I'm gonna hit you first. Do you think people investing
you more once you're already successful?
Speaker 8 (05:23):
One? I was literally just having this conversation with someone
this morning, and I think what it is is, it's
like you have two options you can take a chance on.
You could take a chance on an I don't know,
or on a sure thing. And it seems like, especially
in this day and age, when so much is all
over the place. People want to take a want to
(05:45):
invest in a short thing, so they're willing to support
you if they see other people already support you, or
that you look like you've achieved some level of success
in progress.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
As you do the climb up to success, right, how
hard is it to live in the moment and just
enjoy that.
Speaker 9 (06:04):
It's really hard.
Speaker 8 (06:06):
It's really really hard. And I think the hardness is
elevated when you are dual road, like a you know,
mom or wife or caregiver in some other capacity, and
you're looking to build success because you always, at least
for me, I always feel like I can't stop, like,
oh my gosh, okay, I achieve this level great, but
(06:26):
now I gotta keep going. But the beginning of or
the end of last year, I remember being in prayer
about that because it's anxiety provoking and it's rippling sometimes,
and I remember God just being like, look up. So
it's like we're always digging, planting seeds and watering, but
sometimes you got to stop and look up as your
fruit is growing, you know, as whatever you plant it
(06:47):
is growing. So I'm trying to be more present in
that capacity.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Wreath do people treat you better once you take better
care of your physical appearance.
Speaker 10 (06:59):
You know they do at.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah, they do. We live in a very judgmental society.
Speaker 7 (07:05):
Yes we do. Unfortunately, Yes, I would say that looks, unfortunately,
do matter, and that people tend to go away from
you if you seem like unkept or like seem like
you're just.
Speaker 10 (07:19):
Awful a little bit. And it's very unfortunate because normally,
when people are like that, all they do is just
need someone to talk to them and help them out.
But instead, people in our society, you just go away
from those types of people, and that just puts them
down a further darker path.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
You know, when you say that you don't care, and
some people have this attitude, I don't care what other
people think. But it's simply not smart presenting that unhealthy
version of yourself because people are what very judgmental. We've
got Desi the Strong, the Songstress, Desi Neil, We've Got
(07:58):
chocolatea Divinity, LaToya Chin, The Podcast Conversation Patty and the Millennials, Ladies,
how do you feel about people who are always depressed, angry, mistrustful.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
I'm okay real quick. In the words of the Great
Phase of parts. Apollo, go away from go away from
me with this Apollo, your negative, nasty attitude. Woe is me,
the world is against me? Why me? Why me? You
better take that poisonous cancer on somewhere else. Keep these
(08:39):
people far away from you because they are literally like
a cancer to your own spirit. You have to get
them out there. People don't realize they're around these people.
You know, these people will use you to draw trauma,
dump on you about what's going on when you're with
your life, like me, why I ain't even get a
(09:00):
first cup of coffee yet? And these people tend not
to even ask you anything about yourself. They just want
to come and tell you how miserable it is for me.
Get them people out of your life. Do not let them,
allow them to affect your spirit in a negative way.
And it's so sad because only if they knew you
(09:20):
could change your life right now. All you have to
do is shift your perspectives. But you choose not to.
So stay over there and misery.
Speaker 9 (09:31):
I know it's right, Jasey, Yeah, so yes, Reverend So,
I loved everything you said, and I will also say
not only they are they miserable, they are selfish, because
when you choose to bring that kind of energy into
somebody's face, you are diminishing that we all are going
(09:53):
through Like you not the only person that's going through something.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
We all are struggling with something.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
We got personal issues, we got societal issues, our cultural, spiritual,
all kinds of stuff that's going on. Who are you
to eat up and soak up the world like you're
the only person going through something. Then the other thing is,
I got to add a layer to this. So y'all know,
I wear rose colored glasses most of the time because
the joy of the Lord is my strength, and not
that everything is going well, but happiness is, you know,
(10:18):
like it's based on what's going on. Joy comes from
a different place. When I get around people who hate
me because I'm bringing joy into the room, that's a.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Whole other level of misery.
Speaker 9 (10:28):
And so I can attest to having been treated bad
because I'm coming with a smile, thinking that you know
what I mean, high and mighty because I come in
with a smile. No, I'm just trying to get through
the day and not slap you so you bad.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
I got this joy in my heart because it could
have went another way.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Come now, we've got Dexter and this is the podcast
conversation Patty and the Millennials. Let's talk about appearance, your
physical appearance. Do you think that people treat you better
once you take better care of your physical appearance?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Oh? One?
Speaker 11 (11:07):
And you know what, I'm one of those people like
when you people don't be dressed a certain way or
like groomed a certain way. I'm not saying I treat
them poorly, but I did be giving them the sada.
And then there's other people when like you smell good,
you look good, I'd be like, okay, well that's my.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Friend right here.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Well, when people show that they don't care about what
people think how they look by being unhealthy, when you
show that version of yourself, it's not smart. Do you
think that people realize that.
Speaker 11 (11:42):
I don't think people do, because I think a lot
of people are stuck in an era of being comfortable,
and like I can say that about myself as well,
like I got after the pandemic and then working remotely,
like I've gotten to this place where I was extremely comfortable,
gained a bunch of weight, didn't keep my haircut, didn't
keep my beer cut, and then one day somebody called
(12:03):
me with an opportunity and it was something that will
be filmed, and I'm like, I don't look good. My
hair doesn't look good, like I haven't taken care of myself,
my weight is off, and it's like it hit me
in that moment of like, oh, you gotta always And
you told me this before, Petty, you say, if you
if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready,
and it hit me that it's like, you got to
live your.
Speaker 7 (12:23):
Life like that.
Speaker 11 (12:24):
If you stay ready, you never have to worry about
getting ready because you never know when somebody's gonna come
see you. And it reminds me of something that my
mom said before too. She used to always say, never
leave the house for dirty underwear, because you never know
one of your pants.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Will be down.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
And now I get that, like you have to always
present yourself in the best possible manner.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Do you think do you have points in your life
or periods in your day where you go without social media?
Speaker 6 (12:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So, no social media. I was reading this thing on
different ways that you can change your life and they
say no social media from nine pm to nine am,
like a twelve.
Speaker 10 (13:06):
I saw that last night.
Speaker 11 (13:07):
I saw that last night.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
I took a screenshot of it.
Speaker 11 (13:09):
I think it's a chart of things. I took a
screenshot and I'm like, I'm gonna try. I do block
all social media from like twelve midnight to twelve PM.
I do do this, but like I still go on
and check every once in a while, so like I
don't completely go without it, but I do want to
start me. I'm gonna have a baby, so I'm definitely
gonna be with our social media.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yes, you're going to be a dad. All of that
is about to change. This is the podcast conversation Patty
and the Millennials and Dexter. He puts everything together and
we are so appreciative. Find this where we live. Apple Podcasts,
iHeartRadio podcast, SoundCloud, Spotify, Do Do Do, Do Do, and Pandora.
(13:56):
Find us where we live. It's great conversation. I'm Patty. Yeah,
thanks for joining us.
Whether it's life, relationships, politics, or current events, nothing is
off limits. This is the Patty and the Millennials podcast,
powered by ACME Markets, helping to bridge the gap between
baby boomers, gen X and millennials.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's another edition of Patty and the Millennials. It's the
podcast where the baby boomer sits down and it's conversation
with millennials, gen X, gen Z. We just have conversation,
and conversation is important. Mother Kim Read is joining us.
She has the book Optimist Always Wins, and Kim, we're
(00:39):
gonna start. This is a true or false question. I
need a true or false and the why people will
treat you better once you take better care of your
physical appearance.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
True?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Why?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Unfortunately unfortunately, Patty, because let me say this first, because people,
you have to feel good about yourself at any at
any size, any age, any beauty level. Right. But the
world is judge, judge, judge, judge. I remember my cousin.
He is a little bit on the.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
More.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
I love to eat fives and she's gorgeous. But she
went for an interview as a front desk manager at
a five star hotel and she feels one of the
reasons why they didn't hire her, because she was very qualified,
(01:45):
was because of her appearance. And you know, it's unfortunate,
but in some industries, in some some circles of small
minded people, they feel if you don't take care of
your outer appearance, that's a reflection of your inner and
how you.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Will do the job.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Or you can't get into the club, you know, because
remember Patty, you're like, you know, forty forty club when
it first opened in New York. I remember I went
with my girlfriends and we knew there's a code, you know.
So it's just unfortunate the way the world is, and
we are a judge as a society. But that does
(02:27):
not dictate your success, It does not dictate your worth,
and it does not dictate your trajectory in life. Really,
so I do want to say.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That Arlene Felder is joining us Glassy Brown Cookies two
twenty four High Street in Burlington, New Jersey. Arlene, you're
around people all the time, true or false? And I
need to know why do happy people want to hang
out with other happy people.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
That's a great question. I'm going to say, yes we do,
because I'm a happy person. Yes, we want to hang
out with other happy people. We don't need any Debbie downers,
any Devin downers, just bringing down our natural high.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
What message would you have for people who are always depressed,
are always angry, mistrustful, because those type people will never
attract the kind of people you know that you want
to be around. They wonder why people stay away because
they're toxic.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
Well, the message coming from me is like, you're not
going to drain my light because I have a shining
light for all to enjoy and to really speak some help,
talk to a therapist, and you know, get your life
in order.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
We've got Dasia mean more joining us the podcast Conversation
Patty and the Millennial Station. We're going to set you
on success. People who look for miracles in short insht cuts, right,
do you think they're blocking their own blessing on the
(04:09):
road to success?
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I think that looking for sure, I think the best
part of the success is the journey is the one
thing that I'm learning personally. So when you try to
look for short cuts, you're missing the character building. All
the lessons that you could begin us and to help
you be successful is be successful when you get finally
to the top of where you're trying to go. So
the short that you can get to where you want
to go, but you're not going to be able to
clip the handle it or keep it without all the
(04:34):
lessons along the process.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
What do you think about being in a moment? How
hard is it to live in the moment?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
It's very hard, especially if a person with a lot
of goals. Because you have a person with a lot
of goals, you have to you always got to think
about what's coming next, to what you're doing next, and
so it's a little hard to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
We got rescreen. It's a senior in Saint Jo's representing
gen z In representing those millennials. We've got Lexi, Hey, crew,
how are you?
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Hey?
Speaker 7 (05:07):
Hey, Hey, how's it going?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Doing good? Doing good? We're hitting you at life questions, Lexi,
I'm gonna hit you first. Do you think people investing
you more once you're already successful?
Speaker 8 (05:23):
One? I was literally just having this conversation with someone
this morning, and I think what it is is, it's
like you have two options you can take a chance on.
You could take a chance on an I don't know,
or on a sure thing. And it seems like, especially
in this day and age, when so much is all
over the place. People want to take a want to
(05:45):
invest in a short thing, so they're willing to support
you if they see other people already support you, or
that you look like you've achieved some level of success
in progress.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
As you do the climb up to success, right, how
hard is it to live in the moment and just
enjoy that.
Speaker 9 (06:04):
It's really hard.
Speaker 8 (06:06):
It's really really hard. And I think the hardness is
elevated when you are dual road, like a you know,
mom or wife or caregiver in some other capacity, and
you're looking to build success because you always, at least
for me, I always feel like I can't stop, like,
oh my gosh, okay, I achieve this level great, but
(06:26):
now I gotta keep going. But the beginning of or
the end of last year, I remember being in prayer
about that because it's anxiety provoking and it's rippling sometimes,
and I remember God just being like, look up. So
it's like we're always digging, planting seeds and watering, but
sometimes you got to stop and look up as your
fruit is growing, you know, as whatever you plant it
(06:47):
is growing. So I'm trying to be more present in
that capacity.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Wreath do people treat you better once you take better
care of your physical appearance.
Speaker 10 (06:59):
You know they do at.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah, they do. We live in a very judgmental society.
Speaker 7 (07:05):
Yes we do. Unfortunately, Yes, I would say that looks, unfortunately,
do matter, and that people tend to go away from
you if you seem like unkept or like seem like
you're just.
Speaker 10 (07:19):
Awful a little bit. And it's very unfortunate because normally,
when people are like that, all they do is just
need someone to talk to them and help them out.
But instead, people in our society, you just go away
from those types of people, and that just puts them
down a further darker path.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
You know, when you say that you don't care, and
some people have this attitude, I don't care what other
people think. But it's simply not smart presenting that unhealthy
version of yourself because people are what very judgmental. We've
got Desi the Strong, the Songstress, Desi Neil, We've Got
(07:58):
chocolatea Divinity, LaToya Chin, The Podcast Conversation Patty and the Millennials, Ladies,
how do you feel about people who are always depressed, angry, mistrustful.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
I'm okay real quick. In the words of the Great
Phase of parts. Apollo, go away from go away from
me with this Apollo, your negative, nasty attitude. Woe is me,
the world is against me? Why me? Why me? You
better take that poisonous cancer on somewhere else. Keep these
(08:39):
people far away from you because they are literally like
a cancer to your own spirit. You have to get
them out there. People don't realize they're around these people.
You know, these people will use you to draw trauma,
dump on you about what's going on when you're with
your life, like me, why I ain't even get a
(09:00):
first cup of coffee yet? And these people tend not
to even ask you anything about yourself. They just want
to come and tell you how miserable it is for me.
Get them people out of your life. Do not let them,
allow them to affect your spirit in a negative way.
And it's so sad because only if they knew you
(09:20):
could change your life right now. All you have to
do is shift your perspectives. But you choose not to.
So stay over there and misery.
Speaker 9 (09:31):
I know it's right, Jasey, Yeah, so yes, Reverend So,
I loved everything you said, and I will also say
not only they are they miserable, they are selfish, because
when you choose to bring that kind of energy into
somebody's face, you are diminishing that we all are going
(09:53):
through Like you not the only person that's going through something.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
We all are struggling with something.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
We got personal issues, we got societal issues, our cultural, spiritual,
all kinds of stuff that's going on. Who are you
to eat up and soak up the world like you're
the only person going through something. Then the other thing is,
I got to add a layer to this. So y'all know,
I wear rose colored glasses most of the time because
the joy of the Lord is my strength, and not
that everything is going well, but happiness is, you know,
(10:18):
like it's based on what's going on. Joy comes from
a different place. When I get around people who hate
me because I'm bringing joy into the room, that's a.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Whole other level of misery.
Speaker 9 (10:28):
And so I can attest to having been treated bad
because I'm coming with a smile, thinking that you know
what I mean, high and mighty because I come in
with a smile. No, I'm just trying to get through
the day and not slap you so you bad.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
I got this joy in my heart because it could
have went another way.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Come now, we've got Dexter and this is the podcast
conversation Patty and the Millennials. Let's talk about appearance, your
physical appearance. Do you think that people treat you better
once you take better care of your physical appearance?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Oh? One?
Speaker 11 (11:07):
And you know what, I'm one of those people like
when you people don't be dressed a certain way or
like groomed a certain way. I'm not saying I treat
them poorly, but I did be giving them the sada.
And then there's other people when like you smell good,
you look good, I'd be like, okay, well that's my.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Friend right here.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Well, when people show that they don't care about what
people think how they look by being unhealthy, when you
show that version of yourself, it's not smart. Do you
think that people realize that.
Speaker 11 (11:42):
I don't think people do, because I think a lot
of people are stuck in an era of being comfortable,
and like I can say that about myself as well,
like I got after the pandemic and then working remotely,
like I've gotten to this place where I was extremely comfortable,
gained a bunch of weight, didn't keep my haircut, didn't
keep my beer cut, and then one day somebody called
(12:03):
me with an opportunity and it was something that will
be filmed, and I'm like, I don't look good. My
hair doesn't look good, like I haven't taken care of myself,
my weight is off, and it's like it hit me
in that moment of like, oh, you gotta always And
you told me this before, Petty, you say, if you
if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready,
and it hit me that it's like, you got to
live your.
Speaker 7 (12:23):
Life like that.
Speaker 11 (12:24):
If you stay ready, you never have to worry about
getting ready because you never know when somebody's gonna come
see you. And it reminds me of something that my
mom said before too. She used to always say, never
leave the house for dirty underwear, because you never know
one of your pants.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Will be down.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
And now I get that, like you have to always
present yourself in the best possible manner.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Do you think do you have points in your life
or periods in your day where you go without social media?
Speaker 6 (12:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So, no social media. I was reading this thing on
different ways that you can change your life and they
say no social media from nine pm to nine am,
like a twelve.
Speaker 10 (13:06):
I saw that last night.
Speaker 11 (13:07):
I saw that last night.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
I took a screenshot of it.
Speaker 11 (13:09):
I think it's a chart of things. I took a
screenshot and I'm like, I'm gonna try. I do block
all social media from like twelve midnight to twelve PM.
I do do this, but like I still go on
and check every once in a while, so like I
don't completely go without it, but I do want to
start me. I'm gonna have a baby, so I'm definitely
gonna be with our social media.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yes, you're going to be a dad. All of that
is about to change. This is the podcast conversation Patty
and the Millennials and Dexter. He puts everything together and
we are so appreciative. Find this where we live. Apple Podcasts,
iHeartRadio podcast, SoundCloud, Spotify, Do Do Do, Do Do, and Pandora.
(13:56):
Find us where we live. It's great conversation. I'm Patty. Yeah,
thanks for joining us.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!