October 24, 2025 • 20 mins
Patty and the crew dive into the art of reading people — from first impressions to long-term trust. Are we really as good at judging character as we think we are? The crew shares personal stories, red flags they ignored, and how experience shapes discernment.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Whether it's life, relationships, politics, or current events, nothing is
off limits. This is the Patty and the Millennials podcast,
powered by Independence Blue Cross, helping to bridge the gap
between baby boomers, gen X and millennials.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Welcome to another edition of the podcast conversation Patty and
the Millennials.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I'm Patty Jackson. I'm a radio vent.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
In Philadelphia and I love a good conversation. And I
got some great voices and they come in millennials and
Gen X and gen Y and I'm the baby boomer.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
But the conversation is great.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Today we're talking about are you a good judge of character?
Because some people aren't. But I'm gonna tell y'all, I
can spot crazy a mile away. And I'm a viber.
I vibe with people. I either know if I want
to deal with you immediately or like you loow great Great.
(01:01):
I ain't got time. I gotta move on. I've just
admired this young man since he walked in the doors here,
and I heart media. And he's a recent grad of
Saint Jo's It's Generation Why Generation ZA Generation Z excim
they damn alphabet Red Screen is joining us a recent
(01:22):
grad Reese, Yes, would you consider yourself a good judge
of garn.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yes, I do so. As you said, I'm just a
recent graduate from Saint Joseph's University and that's where I
earned my degree in communications. You see, as a communications major,
all we do is study how people talk, how people
interact with one another. If you realize a lot of
people who deceive you or do things wrong, they do
the exact same mannerisms, They do the exact same patterns.
(01:47):
When you keep on taking note of these patterns, you
can go into a conversation with a new person and realize, oh,
this person is not good for me, Oh this person
got some bad vies, bad energy, or just get out
my life. You see, there's too many people that have
these certain small groups, these their own friend groups of
people that aren't there for them. And then when you
(02:09):
try to tell them, hey, I don't think you should
be hanging with so and so, and they don't listen.
And then the wonder why they have all these problems
in their life. It's because we judge their character and
that can rub off on a person and people don't
be realizing that, and you see it all throughout life.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Wow, that's good.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So that's what they do for me. It's just a
natural thing I can tell. I can just instantly tell, like,
don't go.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I'm learning to really lean on that first instinct. Yeah,
that first when that first mind comes, because when you
try to fit a circle in a square, it's not
gonna go. We've got sex, doctor Heather, And this is
the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Are you a good judge of character? Doctor Heather? Are you?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I think I am because I can spot crazy a
mile away. I'm an energy viber. I vibe and I
can tell. Now a couple of people have gotten past
me in my lifetime. But but when a person shows
you who they are, believe them. Are you a good
(03:26):
judge character?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
Yes, I am a very good judge of character. I
believe That's what I do for a living. You know,
that's part of why I was born to be a therapist, Patty.
I can judge, not judge. I don't want to say judge.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I don't judge people.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
But I watch people's behaviors right without them even saying
one word, I know exactly who they are, believe it
or not.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
Right.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
So you said people's energy and I believe you because
when I met you, Patty, I don't know if you
remember the day we met, we were and Kyrie Terrell's
studio and you and I's energy was on point. And
it's been that way ever since, and we've been friends.
We formed this friendship, and I've been on this podcast
(04:13):
with you, so I definitely know you're You're also.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
A good judge of character.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
It's very helpful when you can watch someone's behavior and
them not even having to say words, right, and then
you know, and you said a couple people slip by you.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I don't think that's true.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
I think you just because just like me, we're loving people, right.
We hope people better, we want them to do better.
So even though they're showing us one thing like oh
maybe they'll change, maybe they'll do better. Right, So it's
part of who we are, Patty.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I've got author Kim Reid. I've got the doula. She
is so amazing in what she does. We've got Lexi.
The ladies are joining us, and I'm gonna start with you.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Lexi. Do you consider yourself a good judge of character?
Some people don't have it. I got it.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I could sign up a person real quickly, really well,
are you a good judge of characters?
Speaker 7 (05:14):
I want to lie so bad and say yes, and
I just am it's not. I for the most part,
I can see the good in people. My problem is
not being able to quickly pivot from that when I
recognize the break. But I keep people like you and
probably Kim and others that do have that strong judge
(05:34):
of character around me, So I'm.
Speaker 8 (05:36):
Thankful for that.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Kim, with the work that you do, the meetings, the
meaning people, the conversations. Are you a good judge of character.
Speaker 9 (05:48):
Professionally?
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (05:49):
I like, and I like to believe I am. Overall
I'm just being humorous. But you know, over the years,
I've learned that judging character starts with knowing your own
and you're clear about your own values, it becomes easier
to recognize who aligns with them and who does not.
Seek Patty. I watched how people treat those who can't
(06:12):
do anything for them.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
That always tells me what.
Speaker 9 (06:18):
I needed, what I need to know. And I've also
learned that being a good judge of character isn't about
being judgmental. It's really about being discerning, and we miss that.
So experiences, experience has taught me to listen beyond what
people say and pay attention to their inner into what
(06:40):
their energy communicates. Character is revealed in consistency, not necessarily charisma,
and I trust patterns, not those promises.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Hell, hell, the gang's all here.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I got Toya, chocolate divinity. We've got decks there. Hi, guys,
how you doing?
Speaker 6 (07:00):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Are you a good judge of character?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I can answer Dex's because I always have to scold him, y'all.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
No, this is what I do with Dex. I done
told you, Toya.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You know you know I'm right. I know what now
what I tell you? Why you surprised?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
I take people.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
When a person shows you who they are, right, you
gotta believe them. You gotta believe them. If they're that way,
it's like that's how they really are. Despote out people
that are fake, that are phoning, not sincere, that are crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I could spy crazy am all the way. Y'all know
that about me.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I keep y'all giggling all day.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
But I'm gonna start with you, Toya. Then Dexter you
slide in. Toya.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Do you find yourself as you get older, as you're
growing in life? Are you a good judging character.
Speaker 10 (08:00):
Yes, I will say that I am a very good
judge of character, but I'll also wield that with a
little bit of openness, like if I've coined you for
who you are and then I've already kind of seen it,
especially like with other people. So I'm like, and I
base that off of if you've done that to somebody else,
nine times out of ten it went, and if the
(08:22):
day comes it happens to me, I cannot be shopped.
So I'm also like with that said, like, yes, I'll
judge the character, but sometimes I will wait until you
kind of have wronged me in some type of way.
But then once that happens, I will abort mission immediately.
But on the other side of that, Patty, I'll say,
I'll get caught up in giving sometimes too much benefit
(08:45):
of doubt to where God is, who's to this person is.
And because you have a hard time with letting sometimes
certain people, places and situations go, you are only causing
more injury than anything that's going to be helpful for you.
So for me, how I deal with it, it's just
(09:06):
in my head of stop extending so much grace to
people when you've already seen it Tankster.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
I'm probably the only person on the podcast that will
admit the problem with people's character, Like I am one
of those people that the hard time accepting the season
reason lifetime things like I have friends who date back
from high school, and I have like they're great people,
great relationships with them. So I have a mindset that
(09:41):
it's just like I am a really good person, so
I attract really good people. But then you realize after
a while that it's just like, yeah, sure you have
these long term friendships, but a lot of these new
relationships that you're bringing into your life, these people don't
I don't think they intentionally mean me harm. I just
think they're not good people overall for me. Like they're
(10:02):
not terrible people. I won't say that, but I just
think they're not my people, Like they're not for me.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
So when you've gotten burned by somebody and I've been
there when this happened, did you learn a lesson?
Speaker 6 (10:18):
I do? I learned. The lesson I learned, though, is
that that's not my person, you know what I mean.
Like it's kind of one of those things like I
can't speak to their relationships or their character with other people.
Because they may be like the greatest person in the
world to them, but like you didn't mean me, well,
and I just let that go. I just had to
let that person go.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
How about if they don't mean anybody, well, they just
use it and they're just me.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
Now, that's just the character flaw on their part. The
thing is, one of the great philosophers said you never
can win when you play dirty, and I do believe it.
I definitely said it.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
I believe it.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
And I feel like if you go around doing dirt
to people that catches up to you can only kick
around mud for so long before it splashes you back
in your face.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Well, damn, that sounds like some Auntie advice. I love it,
don't love now? Go ahead, now go textent songs. Stress.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Desi nil is joining us. We're talking about are you
a good judge of character? How is your discernment? I'm
a scorpio. I have great discernment. Not that all scorpios
have great discernment, but me, DESI, I got a little
extra shot.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
How is your.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Listen, fellow scorpio here checking in and it's almost size seasoned.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Auntie, I resonate with you.
Speaker 11 (11:38):
I am at the point of my life, thank God,
where my desernment is higher right, and I can actually
feel sometimes a tingly feeling. I can feel when somebody
is off. Now, the choice that I make is not
to immediately disengage.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
But I make sure that I don't get too close.
Speaker 11 (11:53):
To the person that don't because your right is spiritual
and we can feel that thing.
Speaker 10 (11:58):
We are impaths.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Just joining us Hea.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
We're talking about are you a good judgment of character?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Whitney? You meet people from all walks of life, well,
are you good at sizing them up?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Telling a good person or a person with a good
spirit versus a person with a crazy spirit or a
weird spirit or a bad spirit.
Speaker 12 (12:24):
Those spirits listen, you be telling, you be seeing them coming.
But at this age, at this age of forty, I
have gotten to the point where I can see you coming,
and I can already navigate who you are, like how
you move, how you speak to people, what you're saying
with your body language. I can read all of that.
But that takes time, and that takes maturity. And it's
just like that Maya Angelo quote. When people show you
(12:44):
who they are, you believe them, and you believe them
the first time.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
We've got comedian and magician Derek Lee, and he always
got something on his mind.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Derek, we're talking about are you a good judge of character?
Can you size up a person? Can you tell I
don't know the spirit of a person, not.
Speaker 13 (13:12):
When you first meet him anymore. It takes a little time.
You might it might take you a little time.
Speaker 14 (13:18):
You might have to see people two or three times.
Now you could spot ghetto when you meet them. You know,
trash when you meet them. But sometimes people are there's
always a wolf in sheep's closing. It takes a little
while to figure people out.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
Women know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 13 (13:34):
Did God tell you he had good creditness and he
can't even get a cell home?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Well, we are living in a different time where it's
kind of hard because you've got a lot of people
out here.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
They're lying.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
The women are lying to Derek. Oh, it ain't just
the men, the women. Some of them be lying to.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
The women are the best liars. They walk out the
house lion.
Speaker 13 (13:57):
That wasn't they eyelashes, that wasn't hair. And then you
take them home and they take the clothes off. All
of a sudden, they got these body shapers. You thought
she was built a certain way. So women are the
original liars.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Okay, let's get back to the good judge of character.
When you meet somebody, Derek, when you meet somebody and
you can like, you can like tell, you can tell
if they're crazy, if they're weird, if there's someone that
you want to get to know. Sometime, especially when you
get older, you be determining who you want in your circle.
Speaker 14 (14:36):
Yes, the older you get, the better you are with
the good judge of character. Yes, so the older I get,
the more I can see when people are full of crap.
Speaker 8 (14:44):
Yes, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
You could kick them out.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Most Schela Wren is joining us, said, we're talking about
being a good judge of character. To me, it gets
better as you get older because then you start seeing
through the bs and seeing what somebody. But do you
consider yourself just a person. Your discernment is on and
you can tell to b as the weirdness, the craziness,
(15:10):
the just the varied.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Or when you know.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
You know your circle, you know you can't mess with everybody,
And it just gets better as you get older.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You good with that?
Speaker 15 (15:25):
I am? You know somebody had told me what I
crossed the forty line that your I d G A
F radar gets it gets more. I guess it gets clearer.
(15:45):
But they said, when you get to that fifty plus
you have zero.
Speaker 6 (15:51):
You can get zero, you know what?
Speaker 8 (15:54):
And that and that comes because you're right. Your your
discernment radar.
Speaker 6 (16:00):
Is on high alert.
Speaker 8 (16:02):
I know that I'm a good judge of character just
because I know who I am and I know the
character that I hold and I want with every day.
I can usually tell Patty within five minutes if you're
my kind of people, you know what I mean? I
need to suddenly remember that. Okay, this reminds me of
something that I didn't like and didn't didn't feel good,
and I know to move on. It's like spiritual Wi Fi,
(16:25):
spiritual Wi Fi.
Speaker 15 (16:26):
You know, I'm always picking up.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
The signal of.
Speaker 15 (16:31):
Disingenuousness.
Speaker 8 (16:32):
And and lastly, I will say to that social media
has made that even more clear for me today.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah, those people aren't honest.
Speaker 8 (16:47):
Well, because no, people aren't honest. I'm the filter, and
I don't mean just for the photo. Their whole life
is a filter. It's what they want you to believe.
It's what they curate on a daily basis. For you
to buy into, but it's not at all who they
really are offline. Like, take the industry that we have
(17:07):
been in for that we were in for so long
and you're still in. Do you remember meeting your favorite
artists and then saying, oh my god, I almost wish
I had not met you. Yeah, because the art did
not imitate the life. You know what they sang about,
(17:28):
you know whether it's good energy and positive energy, and
then you meet them You're like, oh my god, you're
a witch, you know what I'm saying. So that same
perception have carried over into social media, where now people
are able to create whatever persona they want you to
believe is what they put out front, and it's really
(17:49):
not who they are. And I can connect to that
because I am one hunted when I say I'm the
realist of the real, of the real, I am who I.
Speaker 15 (17:57):
Say I am in front behind the scenes.
Speaker 8 (18:02):
You either love me, like me or leave me, and
I don't give a dance.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
We've got that term broadcaster uncle oh joining us. And
the question today is are you a good judge of character?
Just from knowing you?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I think you are because you can sense out the bs,
the craziness, the bizarreness you like, you could tell, but
sometimes it comes with age as you as you can tell,
because I have to admit it. In the twenties that
dated satan Oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
I didn't know. I thought I could trust him. He
worked for Zepta. I thought I could trust him.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
I tell you.
Speaker 16 (18:46):
You do know, you know a lot of times we
know and then we ignore the signs that are telling us.
Nor you know, there's a you know, God gives us
six senses to give you taste, smell, hearing, sights and
common sense. Okay, and that common sense helps you judge character,
(19:08):
and we ignore the character traits because there's other character
traits we like, so we ignore the bad ones.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And that's how we end up in those jams. So
that's what happened to me in my twenties.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
That's what happened.
Speaker 16 (19:23):
Well, in your twenties, you were wild and crazy and
not really thinking about a whole lot, so you weren't
you weren't checking for character, but you knew still there
were all you know, you can't tell the signs until
you're older, but you knew there were signs, and you
ignore them because you were enjoying yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Mmm, I see Okay.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
As I've gotten older, I've gotten better. And now I
consider myself a good judge of character. I can smell
crazy and see it from a mile away.
Speaker 16 (19:54):
Well, now, because you're you're automatically, because of life experiences,
You're automatic taking a step back and looking from the
side and saying, what.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Do you actually want?
Speaker 6 (20:07):
Why are you here?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Who sent you?
Speaker 16 (20:09):
Why are you doing that?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
You look crazy?
Speaker 16 (20:11):
You know the things you didn't pay attention to before
you are paying attention to now.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I have loved this conversation.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
This is the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials, and
you will find us where podcasts will live. And thanks
so much for joining us. I'm Patty Jackson. Thanks for
hanging out with us today.
Whether it's life, relationships, politics, or current events, nothing is
off limits. This is the Patty and the Millennials podcast,
powered by Independence Blue Cross, helping to bridge the gap
between baby boomers, gen X and millennials.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Welcome to another edition of the podcast conversation Patty and
the Millennials.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I'm Patty Jackson. I'm a radio vent.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
In Philadelphia and I love a good conversation. And I
got some great voices and they come in millennials and
Gen X and gen Y and I'm the baby boomer.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
But the conversation is great.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Today we're talking about are you a good judge of character?
Because some people aren't. But I'm gonna tell y'all, I
can spot crazy a mile away. And I'm a viber.
I vibe with people. I either know if I want
to deal with you immediately or like you loow great Great.
(01:01):
I ain't got time. I gotta move on. I've just
admired this young man since he walked in the doors here,
and I heart media. And he's a recent grad of
Saint Jo's It's Generation Why Generation ZA Generation Z excim
they damn alphabet Red Screen is joining us a recent
(01:22):
grad Reese, Yes, would you consider yourself a good judge
of garn.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yes, I do so. As you said, I'm just a
recent graduate from Saint Joseph's University and that's where I
earned my degree in communications. You see, as a communications major,
all we do is study how people talk, how people
interact with one another. If you realize a lot of
people who deceive you or do things wrong, they do
the exact same mannerisms, They do the exact same patterns.
(01:47):
When you keep on taking note of these patterns, you
can go into a conversation with a new person and realize, oh,
this person is not good for me, Oh this person
got some bad vies, bad energy, or just get out
my life. You see, there's too many people that have
these certain small groups, these their own friend groups of
people that aren't there for them. And then when you
(02:09):
try to tell them, hey, I don't think you should
be hanging with so and so, and they don't listen.
And then the wonder why they have all these problems
in their life. It's because we judge their character and
that can rub off on a person and people don't
be realizing that, and you see it all throughout life.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Wow, that's good.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So that's what they do for me. It's just a
natural thing I can tell. I can just instantly tell, like,
don't go.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I'm learning to really lean on that first instinct. Yeah,
that first when that first mind comes, because when you
try to fit a circle in a square, it's not
gonna go. We've got sex, doctor Heather, And this is
the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Are you a good judge of character? Doctor Heather? Are you?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I think I am because I can spot crazy a
mile away. I'm an energy viber. I vibe and I
can tell. Now a couple of people have gotten past
me in my lifetime. But but when a person shows
you who they are, believe them. Are you a good
(03:26):
judge character?
Speaker 5 (03:29):
Yes, I am a very good judge of character. I
believe That's what I do for a living. You know,
that's part of why I was born to be a therapist, Patty.
I can judge, not judge. I don't want to say judge.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I don't judge people.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
But I watch people's behaviors right without them even saying
one word, I know exactly who they are, believe it
or not.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
Right.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
So you said people's energy and I believe you because
when I met you, Patty, I don't know if you
remember the day we met, we were and Kyrie Terrell's
studio and you and I's energy was on point. And
it's been that way ever since, and we've been friends.
We formed this friendship, and I've been on this podcast
(04:13):
with you, so I definitely know you're You're also.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
A good judge of character.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
It's very helpful when you can watch someone's behavior and
them not even having to say words, right, and then
you know, and you said a couple people slip by you.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I don't think that's true.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
I think you just because just like me, we're loving people, right.
We hope people better, we want them to do better.
So even though they're showing us one thing like oh
maybe they'll change, maybe they'll do better. Right, So it's
part of who we are, Patty.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I've got author Kim Reid. I've got the doula. She
is so amazing in what she does. We've got Lexi.
The ladies are joining us, and I'm gonna start with you.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Lexi. Do you consider yourself a good judge of character?
Some people don't have it. I got it.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I could sign up a person real quickly, really well,
are you a good judge of characters?
Speaker 7 (05:14):
I want to lie so bad and say yes, and
I just am it's not. I for the most part,
I can see the good in people. My problem is
not being able to quickly pivot from that when I
recognize the break. But I keep people like you and
probably Kim and others that do have that strong judge
(05:34):
of character around me, So I'm.
Speaker 8 (05:36):
Thankful for that.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Kim, with the work that you do, the meetings, the
meaning people, the conversations. Are you a good judge of character.
Speaker 9 (05:48):
Professionally?
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (05:49):
I like, and I like to believe I am. Overall
I'm just being humorous. But you know, over the years,
I've learned that judging character starts with knowing your own
and you're clear about your own values, it becomes easier
to recognize who aligns with them and who does not.
Seek Patty. I watched how people treat those who can't
(06:12):
do anything for them.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
That always tells me what.
Speaker 9 (06:18):
I needed, what I need to know. And I've also
learned that being a good judge of character isn't about
being judgmental. It's really about being discerning, and we miss that.
So experiences, experience has taught me to listen beyond what
people say and pay attention to their inner into what
(06:40):
their energy communicates. Character is revealed in consistency, not necessarily charisma,
and I trust patterns, not those promises.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Hell, hell, the gang's all here.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I got Toya, chocolate divinity. We've got decks there. Hi, guys,
how you doing?
Speaker 6 (07:00):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Are you a good judge of character?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I can answer Dex's because I always have to scold him, y'all.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
No, this is what I do with Dex. I done
told you, Toya.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You know you know I'm right. I know what now
what I tell you? Why you surprised?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
I take people.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
When a person shows you who they are, right, you
gotta believe them. You gotta believe them. If they're that way,
it's like that's how they really are. Despote out people
that are fake, that are phoning, not sincere, that are crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I could spy crazy am all the way. Y'all know
that about me.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I keep y'all giggling all day.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
But I'm gonna start with you, Toya. Then Dexter you
slide in. Toya.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Do you find yourself as you get older, as you're
growing in life? Are you a good judging character.
Speaker 10 (08:00):
Yes, I will say that I am a very good
judge of character, but I'll also wield that with a
little bit of openness, like if I've coined you for
who you are and then I've already kind of seen it,
especially like with other people. So I'm like, and I
base that off of if you've done that to somebody else,
nine times out of ten it went, and if the
(08:22):
day comes it happens to me, I cannot be shopped.
So I'm also like with that said, like, yes, I'll
judge the character, but sometimes I will wait until you
kind of have wronged me in some type of way.
But then once that happens, I will abort mission immediately.
But on the other side of that, Patty, I'll say,
I'll get caught up in giving sometimes too much benefit
(08:45):
of doubt to where God is, who's to this person is.
And because you have a hard time with letting sometimes
certain people, places and situations go, you are only causing
more injury than anything that's going to be helpful for you.
So for me, how I deal with it, it's just
(09:06):
in my head of stop extending so much grace to
people when you've already seen it Tankster.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
I'm probably the only person on the podcast that will
admit the problem with people's character, Like I am one
of those people that the hard time accepting the season
reason lifetime things like I have friends who date back
from high school, and I have like they're great people,
great relationships with them. So I have a mindset that
(09:41):
it's just like I am a really good person, so
I attract really good people. But then you realize after
a while that it's just like, yeah, sure you have
these long term friendships, but a lot of these new
relationships that you're bringing into your life, these people don't
I don't think they intentionally mean me harm. I just
think they're not good people overall for me. Like they're
(10:02):
not terrible people. I won't say that, but I just
think they're not my people, Like they're not for me.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
So when you've gotten burned by somebody and I've been
there when this happened, did you learn a lesson?
Speaker 6 (10:18):
I do? I learned. The lesson I learned, though, is
that that's not my person, you know what I mean.
Like it's kind of one of those things like I
can't speak to their relationships or their character with other people.
Because they may be like the greatest person in the
world to them, but like you didn't mean me, well,
and I just let that go. I just had to
let that person go.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
How about if they don't mean anybody, well, they just
use it and they're just me.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
Now, that's just the character flaw on their part. The
thing is, one of the great philosophers said you never
can win when you play dirty, and I do believe it.
I definitely said it.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
I believe it.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
And I feel like if you go around doing dirt
to people that catches up to you can only kick
around mud for so long before it splashes you back
in your face.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Well, damn, that sounds like some Auntie advice. I love it,
don't love now? Go ahead, now go textent songs. Stress.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Desi nil is joining us. We're talking about are you
a good judge of character? How is your discernment? I'm
a scorpio. I have great discernment. Not that all scorpios
have great discernment, but me, DESI, I got a little
extra shot.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
How is your.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Listen, fellow scorpio here checking in and it's almost size seasoned.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Auntie, I resonate with you.
Speaker 11 (11:38):
I am at the point of my life, thank God,
where my desernment is higher right, and I can actually
feel sometimes a tingly feeling. I can feel when somebody
is off. Now, the choice that I make is not
to immediately disengage.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
But I make sure that I don't get too close.
Speaker 11 (11:53):
To the person that don't because your right is spiritual
and we can feel that thing.
Speaker 10 (11:58):
We are impaths.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Just joining us Hea.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
We're talking about are you a good judgment of character?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Whitney? You meet people from all walks of life, well,
are you good at sizing them up?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Telling a good person or a person with a good
spirit versus a person with a crazy spirit or a
weird spirit or a bad spirit.
Speaker 12 (12:24):
Those spirits listen, you be telling, you be seeing them coming.
But at this age, at this age of forty, I
have gotten to the point where I can see you coming,
and I can already navigate who you are, like how
you move, how you speak to people, what you're saying
with your body language. I can read all of that.
But that takes time, and that takes maturity. And it's
just like that Maya Angelo quote. When people show you
(12:44):
who they are, you believe them, and you believe them
the first time.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
We've got comedian and magician Derek Lee, and he always
got something on his mind.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Derek, we're talking about are you a good judge of character?
Can you size up a person? Can you tell I
don't know the spirit of a person, not.
Speaker 13 (13:12):
When you first meet him anymore. It takes a little time.
You might it might take you a little time.
Speaker 14 (13:18):
You might have to see people two or three times.
Now you could spot ghetto when you meet them. You know,
trash when you meet them. But sometimes people are there's
always a wolf in sheep's closing. It takes a little
while to figure people out.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
Women know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 13 (13:34):
Did God tell you he had good creditness and he
can't even get a cell home?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Well, we are living in a different time where it's
kind of hard because you've got a lot of people
out here.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
They're lying.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
The women are lying to Derek. Oh, it ain't just
the men, the women. Some of them be lying to.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
The women are the best liars. They walk out the
house lion.
Speaker 13 (13:57):
That wasn't they eyelashes, that wasn't hair. And then you
take them home and they take the clothes off. All
of a sudden, they got these body shapers. You thought
she was built a certain way. So women are the
original liars.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Okay, let's get back to the good judge of character.
When you meet somebody, Derek, when you meet somebody and
you can like, you can like tell, you can tell
if they're crazy, if they're weird, if there's someone that
you want to get to know. Sometime, especially when you
get older, you be determining who you want in your circle.
Speaker 14 (14:36):
Yes, the older you get, the better you are with
the good judge of character. Yes, so the older I get,
the more I can see when people are full of crap.
Speaker 8 (14:44):
Yes, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
You could kick them out.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Most Schela Wren is joining us, said, we're talking about
being a good judge of character. To me, it gets
better as you get older because then you start seeing
through the bs and seeing what somebody. But do you
consider yourself just a person. Your discernment is on and
you can tell to b as the weirdness, the craziness,
(15:10):
the just the varied.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Or when you know.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
You know your circle, you know you can't mess with everybody,
And it just gets better as you get older.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
You good with that?
Speaker 15 (15:25):
I am? You know somebody had told me what I
crossed the forty line that your I d G A
F radar gets it gets more. I guess it gets clearer.
(15:45):
But they said, when you get to that fifty plus
you have zero.
Speaker 6 (15:51):
You can get zero, you know what?
Speaker 8 (15:54):
And that and that comes because you're right. Your your
discernment radar.
Speaker 6 (16:00):
Is on high alert.
Speaker 8 (16:02):
I know that I'm a good judge of character just
because I know who I am and I know the
character that I hold and I want with every day.
I can usually tell Patty within five minutes if you're
my kind of people, you know what I mean? I
need to suddenly remember that. Okay, this reminds me of
something that I didn't like and didn't didn't feel good,
and I know to move on. It's like spiritual Wi Fi,
(16:25):
spiritual Wi Fi.
Speaker 15 (16:26):
You know, I'm always picking up.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
The signal of.
Speaker 15 (16:31):
Disingenuousness.
Speaker 8 (16:32):
And and lastly, I will say to that social media
has made that even more clear for me today.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah, those people aren't honest.
Speaker 8 (16:47):
Well, because no, people aren't honest. I'm the filter, and
I don't mean just for the photo. Their whole life
is a filter. It's what they want you to believe.
It's what they curate on a daily basis. For you
to buy into, but it's not at all who they
really are offline. Like, take the industry that we have
(17:07):
been in for that we were in for so long
and you're still in. Do you remember meeting your favorite
artists and then saying, oh my god, I almost wish
I had not met you. Yeah, because the art did
not imitate the life. You know what they sang about,
(17:28):
you know whether it's good energy and positive energy, and
then you meet them You're like, oh my god, you're
a witch, you know what I'm saying. So that same
perception have carried over into social media, where now people
are able to create whatever persona they want you to
believe is what they put out front, and it's really
(17:49):
not who they are. And I can connect to that
because I am one hunted when I say I'm the
realist of the real, of the real, I am who I.
Speaker 15 (17:57):
Say I am in front behind the scenes.
Speaker 8 (18:02):
You either love me, like me or leave me, and
I don't give a dance.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
We've got that term broadcaster uncle oh joining us. And
the question today is are you a good judge of character?
Just from knowing you?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I think you are because you can sense out the bs,
the craziness, the bizarreness you like, you could tell, but
sometimes it comes with age as you as you can tell,
because I have to admit it. In the twenties that
dated satan Oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
I didn't know. I thought I could trust him. He
worked for Zepta. I thought I could trust him.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
I tell you.
Speaker 16 (18:46):
You do know, you know a lot of times we
know and then we ignore the signs that are telling us.
Nor you know, there's a you know, God gives us
six senses to give you taste, smell, hearing, sights and
common sense. Okay, and that common sense helps you judge character,
(19:08):
and we ignore the character traits because there's other character
traits we like, so we ignore the bad ones.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And that's how we end up in those jams. So
that's what happened to me in my twenties.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
That's what happened.
Speaker 16 (19:23):
Well, in your twenties, you were wild and crazy and
not really thinking about a whole lot, so you weren't
you weren't checking for character, but you knew still there
were all you know, you can't tell the signs until
you're older, but you knew there were signs, and you
ignore them because you were enjoying yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Mmm, I see Okay.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
As I've gotten older, I've gotten better. And now I
consider myself a good judge of character. I can smell
crazy and see it from a mile away.
Speaker 16 (19:54):
Well, now, because you're you're automatically, because of life experiences,
You're automatic taking a step back and looking from the
side and saying, what.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Do you actually want?
Speaker 6 (20:07):
Why are you here?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Who sent you?
Speaker 16 (20:09):
Why are you doing that?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
You look crazy?
Speaker 16 (20:11):
You know the things you didn't pay attention to before
you are paying attention to now.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I have loved this conversation.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
This is the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials, and
you will find us where podcasts will live. And thanks
so much for joining us. I'm Patty Jackson. Thanks for
hanging out with us today.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.