🏙 Affordable Housing & the Housing Trust Fund
In Philadelphia, developers can pay a fee instead of building affordable housing—with those funds intended for the City’s Housing Trust Fund. But the reality hasn’t matched the promise. We’ll speak with City Councilmember Jamie Gauthier about a new ballot question that could change that and help ensure these payments actually support affordable housing in our communities.
🔗 Learn more: phlcouncil.com/housingtrustfund
📲 Follow: @councilmemberjg on X, Instagram, Facebook, Threads, and LinkedIn
🎉 40 Years of Impact: Bebashi – Transition to Hope
We’re joined by Sabrina Tate, CEO of Bebashi – Transition to Hope, as the organization celebrates 40 years of providing trusted, culturally responsive health and social services in Philadelphia. We’ll also hear from therapist April Lancit about her work supporting Black and Brown couples through healing and connection.
🌐 More info: www.bebashi.org
📱 Follow: @Philly.Bebashi on Instagram and Facebook | LinkedIn: Bebashi – Transition to Hope
💬 Real Talk on Relationships with April Lancit
Relationships aren’t always easy—but healing is possible. We’re talking with April Lancit, a Philadelphia-based marriage and family therapist who specializes in supporting Black and Brown couples through emotionally centered, trauma-informed care. Her work focuses on relationship wellness, communication, and deeper connection.
💻 Visit: www.aprillancit.com
📸 Follow: @AprilLancitLMFT on Instagram and Facebook
In Philadelphia, developers can pay a fee instead of building affordable housing—with those funds intended for the City’s Housing Trust Fund. But the reality hasn’t matched the promise. We’ll speak with City Councilmember Jamie Gauthier about a new ballot question that could change that and help ensure these payments actually support affordable housing in our communities.
🔗 Learn more: phlcouncil.com/housingtrustfund
📲 Follow: @councilmemberjg on X, Instagram, Facebook, Threads, and LinkedIn
🎉 40 Years of Impact: Bebashi – Transition to Hope
We’re joined by Sabrina Tate, CEO of Bebashi – Transition to Hope, as the organization celebrates 40 years of providing trusted, culturally responsive health and social services in Philadelphia. We’ll also hear from therapist April Lancit about her work supporting Black and Brown couples through healing and connection.
🌐 More info: www.bebashi.org
📱 Follow: @Philly.Bebashi on Instagram and Facebook | LinkedIn: Bebashi – Transition to Hope
💬 Real Talk on Relationships with April Lancit
Relationships aren’t always easy—but healing is possible. We’re talking with April Lancit, a Philadelphia-based marriage and family therapist who specializes in supporting Black and Brown couples through emotionally centered, trauma-informed care. Her work focuses on relationship wellness, communication, and deeper connection.
💻 Visit: www.aprillancit.com
📸 Follow: @AprilLancitLMFT on Instagram and Facebook
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning. You are listening to Insight, a show about
empowering our community. I'm Lorraine Ballad Morrow Relationships can be tough.
I'll be talking with April Lancett, a Philadelphia based marriage
and family therapist who's become a trusted voice in supporting
black and brown couples. Babashi has been providing culturally sensitive
health care for forty years. I'll be speaking with its CEO,
(00:23):
Sabrina Tate. But first joining us today is City Council
Member Jamie Gautier, a passionate advocate for housing justice and
equitable development in Philadelphia. As the City Council prepares for
an important ballot question related to affordable housing funding, Council
Member Gautier is helping lead the charge to make sure
(00:43):
communities benefit from development and not get left behind. At
the heart of this issue is a simple principle. When
developers pay for the right to build more densely, that
money is supposed to go into the Philadelphia Housing Trust Fund,
a lifeline for affordable housing. But so far those dollars
haven't been reinvested the way that they should. And that's
(01:05):
what we're going to be talking about with a council
member Thank you so much for joining us here today.
And this ballot question can sound a bit technical, so
I wonder if you can break it down for us
in plain English and explain why it's such an important
issue for Philadelphia residents.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Really, this is all about having more resources for affordable housing. So,
as you mentioned, we have this density Bonus program. It
allows for developers to build more densely if they quote
make a payment in lieu of providing affordable housing to
the City of Philadelphia. The intention was that this was
(01:43):
always going to go to the Housing Trust Fund, which
is our biggest local funding source for creating and preserving
affordable housing across the city of Philadelphia. But the reality
is that that has never happened. So at this point
we're being cheated out of nearly thirty six million dollars
in affordable housing benefits and that's enough for more than
(02:05):
eighteen hundred homes that we are entitled to by law.
And so the ballick question, if voters vote yes, which
I'm hoping they do, will end this injustice and create
a guaranteed funding stream to build and preserve more affordable
homes in Philadelphia.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Well, thanks for the clarification. Now the question is, how
does the current zoning process allow developers to avoid building
affordable housing and what's supposed to happen with the payments
that they make instead sure.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So, under the leadership of Councilmember Maria Canyonas Santez, a
former councilmember, Maria Canyonis Sanchez, several years ago she created
a voluntary inclusionary zoning policy which covers much of the
city of Philadelphia. So it allows for developers to either
include a portion of affordable units on sites in their developments,
(02:59):
or if they feel that they can't do that, they
have to make a payment and lou of providing affordable
housing to the city so that the city can invest
in affordable housing efforts. This is a good program that
Maria Keonis Sanchez created many years ago, but we never
close the loop until now of making sure that those
(03:22):
dollars get to the city's Housing Trust Fund, because the
reality is that most often developers do not include the
units on site. They choose to make this payment into
the Housing Trust Fund, and it's up to the city
to make sure that those dollars don't just sit in
the general fund, that they actually go towards what we
promise to communities and go towards affordable housing, which is
(03:45):
a critical need in the city of Philadelphia. So this
ballot question is intended to close that loophole and give
Philadelphia's residents what they deserve. And it's really important. This
could not come at a more critical time. At our
current pace, it will take over two hundred years to
build the amount of affordable housing that's needed in the
(04:08):
city of Philadelphia. And all of this is happening in
the era of Trump, where housing costs are going up
and all kinds of costs are going up for working families.
So we have to make sure that we're resourcing ourselves appropriately.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
So just let me make sure I understand the developers
have the choice of building affordable housing or putting money
into this fund. Are they putting money into this fund?
And why is it just sitting there if in fact
they are doing that.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
The developers have been putting the money into the fund
over the past several years since Maria Canona Sanchez set
up this program. We calculate there's been about thirty six
million dollars in contribution. The problem has lied on the
city side that money, even though it's been promised for
affordable housing and was intended to go towards affordable housing.
(04:58):
In reality, that money goes to the city's general fund,
and then whomever is mayor makes a decision about the
amount of that money that's going to the Housing Trust Fund.
What we want to do is get rid of that
decision point. The money is intended for the Housing Trust
Fund and that's where it needs to go. So we're
(05:18):
asking voters to clearly say that they want that to
happen so that we can make sure that the density
Bonus program is operating as intended and creating more affordable
housing in our community.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
So who's backing this ballot initiative and what are you
hearing from residents in your district about housing access and affordability.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
We have a lot of support on this. We have
support from families in our district, from city council members.
This ballot measure was supported unanimously by city Council's, supported
by housing advocates, experts, community leaders who are all saying
that we need more resources for affordable housing. But we
(06:00):
know that the voters have the final choice, and so
we're appealing to voters on May twentieth to also support
this increased funding stream for affordable housing in our city
at a time when we really, really really need it.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
It sounds like a no brainer there. So there's questions
on the ballot coming up on the twentieth. Where can
people go to learn more, read the ballot language, or
get involved ahead of the election.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Sure, people can visit phlcouncil dot com slash Housing Trust
Fund to learn more, or they can contact my office
by calling two one five six eight six zero four
six zero. And I want to make the point. I
want to break it down a little bit more so
people can understand the type of activities that are funded
(06:46):
through the Housing Trust Fund. So we're talking about programs
like Basic Systems Repair, which provides up to twenty five
thousand dollars in grant funding for free to home owners
to make the type of critical repairs on their homes
that they would not be able to afford otherwise. If
(07:06):
we had thirty six million dollars more in our Housing
Trust Fund, we could support eighteen hundred families with getting
the maximum benefit of those repairs. Thirty six million dollars
could also go towards rental assistance as a critical program
in the City of Philadelphia, where we're helping people with
(07:26):
the gap between the money that they make and what
they owe and rent, which is significant across the city.
The Housing Trust Fund also supports money to build to
create new affordable housing units, or to preserve and renovate
affordable housing units. So these are wonderful programs that keep
(07:47):
people hous that keep families off the streets, and we
need more resources for them.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, thank you for breaking that down. All those things
sound amazing. We certainly know that renovating aging housing stock
is one way to maintain and create affordable housing, renovating
older homes, all those things sound great at a time
when housing is at a critical place in the City
of Philadelphia, repeat one more time. Places we can go
(08:15):
for more information.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Listeners can visit phlcouncil dot com, slash Housing Trust Fund,
or call my office at two one five six eight
six zero four six zero to learn more.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Thank you so much for raising awareness on this ballot
question that's going to be on the ballot that is
all about creating affordable housing for for all of us
that need it, And I want to thank you so
much Council Member Jamie Garier, who is supporting this very
important ballot question. Thank you so much for all that
you do for us.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Thank you for having me, Lorraine.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
You're listening to Insight Today we're joined by Sabrina Tate,
President and CEO of Bibashi Transition to Hope, one of
Philadelphia's most trusted in impactful health and social service organizations.
For forty years, Bibashi has provided culturally sensitive care and
support to underserved communities, offering everything from HIV services to
(09:15):
food access, case management, and health education. Now celebrating its
fortieth anniversary and settling into a new home in University City,
Bibashi is continuing to expand its reach and reimagine what
holistic care and community support can look like. So joining
me right now is Sabrina Tate. Thank you so much,
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
For having me.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
I'm excited to be here and talk about all the
great things that are happening.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Well, it's been forty years. Those who may not know
your story, can you tell us a bit about your
background and what brought you to this work at Babashi.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Most of my career has been working with children. I've
worked at the school district, I've worked in various different
nonprofits throughout the city of Philadelphia in mental health and
child protective services. The position at Babasha came about some
years ago and there was an opportunity to do education
in a different way. And as a woman who had
experienced some not so great care in the healthcare system,
(10:10):
I thought, well, this is my opportunity to represent folks
like me, and so I interviewed for the position and
I came in as their second in command and was
eventually graduated to president and CEO. And I absolutely love
the organization. It is not a job, it is a passion.
It's a calling. Yeah, that's how I came to Blebashi.
I've been there now for six years.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Wow, that's great. Well, Babashi has a long, powerful legacy.
I was able to really talk about Kababashi at the
ground floor at its inception, and this came at a time.
Bibashi came at a time when HIV was something people
didn't talk about, especially in communities of color. And sister
Rashida Hassan, I'm not sure what her married name is
(10:51):
these days, but in any case, she was an extraordinary
visionary and started the organization which has really grown and expanded.
What if you can share the mission behind the organization
and what makes it so essential to the communities you serve.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Let me first pay homage to doctor Rashida abdul Kabir.
Our new wellness center at our new location is named
after her. She continues to be the inspiration for the
things that we do, and so our mission then was
to serve people who were HIV positive and make sure
that they had a smooth transition and felt like they
were heard and received healthcare in a dignified way despite
(11:28):
having a diagnosis that then was had a lot of
stigma attached to it. Now we just address all of
the health disparities that impact black and brown people in
the city of Philadelphia, and we give them the opportunity
to be partners in their wellness journey. So it's not
just healthcare, it's also food security, housing security, social service connections,
(11:50):
and all the things that impact our wellness.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
You mentioned the areas in which you do address for
the community. I wonder if you can walk us through
some of the key services that you.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Provide our I guess flagship programs would include prevention and education,
which is going out into the community connecting with people,
giving them education about sexual health. But overall health in
general having them come into the organization and learn about
how to protect themselves.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
We do testing.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Obviously, that is a part of the navigation realm. We
do case management for people who are HIV positive. We
have housing services for folks who are HIV positive who
are in need of housing, so we help them supplement
their income and find stable housing and remain in housing.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
That's a newer program.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
One of our largest programs is our food and security programs.
So we have a Pantry of Choice which allows people
to have a dignified shopping experience and they get to
pick the foods that they would eat.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
And it eliminates food waste. So those are some of
the things that we do.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Obviously, our Wellness Center, which is centered around making sure
that people who are uninj under insured, or who have
insurance but don't have a primary care physician get the
culturally sensitive services that they need.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Babashi has been located on Spring Garden for a very
long time. Long time, but you have moved into a
new space in University City and tell us more about
what this move means for Babashi's future and the people
you serve.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
We still have a part of our Wellness Center and
our prevention services at twelve thirty seven Spring Garden Street,
so it's right next door to where our main building was,
so we still have a piece of us in North Philadelphia.
We didn't want to leave North Philadelphia altogether, but we've
expanded most of our services to forty.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
One oh one Woodland Avenue.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
We're in University City and this allows us to create
some new partnerships. It allows us to expand, so we
have five exam rooms now. We had two in the past,
So now with North Philadelphia, I guess that's seven exam rooms.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
We have separate blood draw rooms and just more room.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
But it also allows us to include other services. We
have a partnership that is up and coming with a
mental health organization, so we'll have mental health on site
as well as the services that we provide. We look
forward to the partnerships with the eds and meds in
the University City area and are really excited about just
(14:21):
the new building and everything that comes along with it.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It's beautiful to see how one person's dream and mission
has blossomed into the organization that Babashi is now transitioned
to Hope. This year marks the fortieth anniversary of Babashi's
services to Philadelphia. What does this milestone mean to you
and how are you celebrating?
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Wow, So we have not yet announced an event to celebrate.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
We're still trying to figure out what that looks like.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
It's been a while, we haven't had a gala since COVID,
so we certainly are looking to do something to celebrate.
But the move and cutting the ribbon was the first
part of this fortieth year for years, means that we
are really a staple in the city of Philadelphia right
The move I think was the biggest way in which
we market but it means that what we do is
(15:09):
so much more than HIV. What we do is impactful
to the city and relevant in many many ways, and
hopefully we'll have another forty that continues to expand and serve.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Looking ahead, what's next for Bibashi and how can folks
support your mission or get involved or get the services
that you provide.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
What's next is we continue to make partnerships throughout the
city of Philadelphia. Hopefully we continue to expand. Obviously, there
have been some challenges in terms of budget cuts and
things like that that have impacted the work that we do,
but we stand ten tos deep on making sure that
we do it no matter what, and hopefully the city
will continue to support us in making sure that people
are well and continuing to have conversations like this so
(15:49):
people know where we are, what we're doing, and where
to find us well.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Tell us your website and any social media that you
might have and your phone number.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
So we're at Babashi dot org, beeba Shi dot org.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
That is our website.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
On Instagram, we're Philly dot Bibashi. On Facebook, you can
find us at just bibashi, and the same for LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Fantastic And what's your phone number? For those who may
not be so computer literate.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's two on five seven sixty nine three five sixty one.
Speaker 5 (16:22):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
So there's lots of different ways to connect with Bibashi,
whether you're looking to donate, whether you're looking for services
or perhaps even volunteer. Yes, at Bibashi, there are all
kinds of options for you. Sabrina Tate, president and CEO
of Babashi Transition to Hope, when of Philadelphia's most trusted
and impactful health and social service organizations, celebrating forty years
(16:46):
providing culturally sensitive care and support to underserved communities.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Thank you so much, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We are going to be talking about relations everybody needs
help in that area and joining us right now is
April Lancid. She's a Philadelphia based licensed marriage and family
therapist and the founder of the April Lanced and Associates organization.
With over a decade of experience, April has become a
trusted voice in supporting black and brown couples and individuals
(17:19):
through culturally responsive therapy. Her work centers around relationship wellness,
emotional connection, and trauma recovery. This also happens to be
National Couples Appreciation Months. So April, very awesome to have
you here, especially as we are now talking about the
importance of relationships. So can you share a little bit
(17:39):
about your background and what inspired you to become a
marriage and family therapist?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
Yes, thank you Loraine for having me here. I have
actually been a therapist for over eighteen years and I
have had my practice for the last ten years, but
specifically working with relationships for fourteen years. And what I
say I saw when I developed my practice was that
I wanted a space for couples to work on their relationship.
(18:05):
I had worked for over a decade in mental health
services in the Philadelphia region, but most of the services
never focused on relationships, and so I wanted to create
a space where couples could come and work on their marriage,
their relationship, get married, stay married, a co parent, or
maybe end up in a separation if that happened as well.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Now, April, you work closely with black and brown couples.
What unique challenges do you often see in these communities
and how does culturally responsive therapy support healing.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Yeah, so when I originally opened the practice, it was
really to service people of all walks of life. But
what I did not know was that my biggest clientele
was going to be black and brown people. It's kind
of like that saying, once you open a space, people
will come. And so the people that began to come
were black and brown couples. And what I saw was
that they were coming in with complex issues, things that
(18:58):
couldn't be resolved in one or two sessions. And so
what I call that is generational trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship disconnection,
lack of intimacy, and vulnerability is what I was seeing
happening in those relationships that were showing up on my couch.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Well, well, we also have to talk about the overall
impact of racism in our society, especially for black men.
Every day is a challenge, because that is something any
person of color experiences, but black men in particular, you know,
no matter what type of life they lead, whether they're
(19:35):
super successful professionals or someone who's just doing some great
blue collar work, the challenges are especially rough, I think
for black men.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Yes, I would agree.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
And so when I talk about the trend of my practice,
the black men were actually the one reaching out for
the therapy. They were the ones calling and saying, I
want to try this couple's therapy thing. I don't know
about this, we don't really do this in my neighborhood,
but I'm willing to give it a shot. And what
I noticed about their experiences was that they didn't have
many outlets where they could talk about the trauma that
(20:09):
they faced or what it means to be a black
man in the world and showing up in those spaces
and then bringing that home to their partner. And so
this was the first time that I was starting to
see what was it like for them to sit on
the couch and unpack that and share what their experiences
were with their partners, and sometimes their partners were like
their minds were blown because they never heard those stories,
they never witnessed those experiences. And then it was almost
(20:32):
like they had the Oprah's Aha moment, like, oh my God, like,
this is really what you've been going through, this is
what you've been experiencing. This is why we have this
disconnect in our marriage. This is why we can't resolve
conflicts in our relationship because these are the things that
you're dealing with every day, and I never would have
thought to ask you those specific questions.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Well, definitely, having culturally competent therapy is very important, but
we also know that there are some issues that impact everybody,
no matter who you are or what part of life
you're from. Why is it so crucial for folks to
address these common stressors like finances, parenting, communication, breakdowns, These
are all things that impact all couples.
Speaker 6 (21:09):
I think sure, when I think about finances, I think
that most people have a money story. You either knew
about money growing up or you didn't know about money
growing up. And so what I see is that couples
have differences and how they articulate the finances in their life,
and that creates a lot of stressors depending on what
they've learned and what they've experienced. And I think being
(21:32):
able to develop strategies to have intentional conversations about finances
is how you work through collaboration and connections. Sometimes couples
will be at odds with each other for weeks about
finances and never really being able to sit down and
have those solid conversations about what I made this decision
based on some sort of historical moment in my life,
(21:53):
and that has a lot to do with why I
choose certain things financially in our relationship.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
When it comes to parenting, I think that parents are
special people.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
I say that because when you are parenting with another person,
you're bringing two different identities to the table to parent
this one person. And when you are parenting, you don't
want to be an enemy and you don't want your
child to see that your enemies. So being able to
have alignment and purpose and how you parent your child.
Every parent is going to have their style, their strategy
(22:24):
of how they show up, and I think it's important
for the parents to embrace what the other person's strong
suit is and allow that to be the alignment that
you agree to disagree on. When it comes to teaching
children to be resilient, I think a lot of the
parents that I have worked with always talk about wanting
to give their children what they did not have, and
(22:45):
so they parent from that place. But there are just
moments that, no matter how much you want to keep
your child safe, in order for them to develop their
own grit, their own resilience, you have to create those
moments that allows them to fall right and then they
have to learn how to pick themselves up.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
But you could be there and be the listener.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
I think you can also be there set the boundaries
and the foundation for them to let them know like, okay,
I hear you.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
I want your voice to be.
Speaker 6 (23:10):
Violid in this relationship, but there's a line between respect
and disrespect, and being clear with your child about those boundaries,
I think is how you build a resilient kid.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Yeah, boy, I feel so much better talking to right now.
I think you're therapizing me right as we speak. Well,
you know what, You've said some very interesting things, and
I think that one of the things that we often
forget is that we all come into the world with
the story oh as adults, Right, you talk about how
our finances can be informed by how we were taught
(23:42):
to relate to money in the past, and when it
comes to parenting, same thing. You know, how you were
raised is going to have an impact, right, so being
able to get beyond the story. But then getting back
to something I talked about a little bit earlier, which
is the impact of racism on everyday life.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
We do carry.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Trauma, and it's not just trauma from our immediate past.
There's also trauma that's generational that we hand on from
generation to generation. So I wonder if you can talk
about these generational patterns of trauma that really inform how
people read, relate to things, and how do you address
stuff that's like deeply rooted in generations of experience.
Speaker 6 (24:24):
When I look at generational trauma in a relationship, it's
important to understand that I'm looking at it from the
context of the psychological, the behavior they're emotional in, the
patterns within their family system, and that means that there
are certain patterns behaviors that are unresolved from one generation
to the next, and then you carry those traumas in
(24:44):
your everyday life, and then you get into a relationship
with a person who just happens to unconsciously trigger you, right,
and then those behaviors then show up in your romantic
relationship and you're not able to understand why are you
having this disconnect? And generational trauma could be connected to abuse, neglect, poverty, racism, displacement.
And now, I mean, we're living in a time where
(25:04):
we're living in war, and so there's only things that
we can imagine a person will experience living in a
different country, dealing with war, and then coming to build
their own relationship after enduring those traumas.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
What happens in.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Those relationships is they begin to recreate some of the
things that they thought that they had worked through. We
see this in people's attachment style, We see this in
unconscious beliefs, We see this in reoccurring cycles. So although
you might have grew up in let's say a household
where people dealt with conflict by silence, then you'll go
into your relationship with your partner and you'll deal with
(25:39):
that person in silence, and you won't communicate what your
needs are or what you.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
Need to address in that relationship.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
And so when we think about this generational cycle that continues,
the only way that we can begin to break it
is bringing it conscious, having those conversations, naming what it
is that you're experiencing and what's happening and how is
it affecting you. Many times people get into relationships and
they're not always aware that they're showing up until there's
(26:04):
these reoccurring arguments that just never seem resolved, and couples
talk about the dance of being in this vicious cycle
that goes on and on and on, and they often
will say, well, we never resolve this. This seems like
an unfinished conversation, and it usually is because you haven't
got to the root cause of why this keeps showing up.
And so when we deal with that in therapy, we
unpack all of that. Okay, tell me a story so
(26:25):
that you can rewrite the story. If you don't want
this to be your story, then the goal in therapy
is reauthoring your story.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
I think so many.
Speaker 6 (26:32):
People live by social constructs of what they think a
relationship is supposed to be. And I always say, you
can redefine your relationship on your own terms. Even though
your parents did this, your family did this, it doesn't
mean that what they gave you wasn't enough. It just
means that you can take what they gave you and
turn it into something else in order to make it
what you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And I love that rewriting our story. I mean, it's
like what I think we often forget is that our
story is a story. That it's not like a solid piece.
So it's not a ball or a bat, or it's
not a chair. It's a story. It's a story that
basically just gets recreated in our minds, but it's not
real real, And I love that you talk about that. Now.
(27:12):
I'm very encouraged that you say you're getting calls from
men who are interested in getting into therapy. But we
do know that we're still facing a lot of stigma
around mental health and a reluctance in our community to
seek help, professional help. You know, sometimes it's like pray
it away. Well, you know that doesn't always work, as
we know. So I wonder if what you can speak
(27:33):
to in terms of our reluctance to actually seek the
kind of help that you can provide and others like you.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
Yeah, So when we think about stigma, obviously that's historic.
There's a lot of narratives that were said about people
going into therapy getting mental health, And so what I
try to do is normalize the conversation. I always tell families, individuals, couples,
whoever is coming to sit on the couch or now
telehealth screen with me, is that just because you may
(28:01):
have had one bad experience with therapy or mental health,
it doesn't have to be your entire experience. So I
always ask couples, families, or individuals, what is it about
this experience that make that can make you feel good
about sitting here with me. The other question that I
typically ask couples is what are the things that they
were told about therapy that made them feel that this
(28:22):
isn't for them? And so sometimes they'll say, well, I
come from a family that said, you don't talk about problems,
you be strong, you cover it up, you don't show emotion,
you don't show tears. And so I say to them,
let's okay you to fill all of those things and
be in the space to process all of those things.
It doesn't mean that every single thing is going to
be resolved, but you can at least walk away feeling
(28:42):
that you were able to unpack some of the burden
that you've been carrying.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Well, you definitely created a safe space right here in
the studio, and I'm very impressed with how you approach
therapy and mental health and how important it is to
be culturally confident. If people want to know more about
your practice, the Philadelphia based license marriage and family therapists
that you are April Lanced and associates, how do they
get in touch?
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Yeah, so you can follow me on Ala therapy dot com.
We also are on Instagram, so Ala Therapyinstagram dot com.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Is also where we are.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
Our website is ww dot Ala therapy dot com. You
can follow me on LinkedIn as April Lancet. Our private
practice is a practice of several different clinicians, so although
I am still the face and founder and CEO of
the practice, there are other therapists of color who also
work at this practice who are ready for you whenever
you call or email us or text us.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Well, I want to thank you so much for coming
in and talking about relationships because those are absolutely key
and be able to address the trauma of the past,
being able to redirect our behaviors so that they're not
based on a story that we told ourselves about what
is real and who we are, but that we can
rewrite our story April Lanced from April Lanced and associates,
(29:58):
thank you so much. You can listen to all of
today's interviews by going to our station website and typing
in keyword Community. You can also listen on the iHeartRadio
app ye Words Philadelphia Community Podcast. Follow me on Twitter
and Instagram at Lorraine Ballard. I'm Lorraine Ballard morel and
I stand for service to our community and media that empowers.
What will you stand for? You've been listening to Insight
(30:21):
and thank you
Good morning. You are listening to Insight, a show about
empowering our community. I'm Lorraine Ballad Morrow Relationships can be tough.
I'll be talking with April Lancett, a Philadelphia based marriage
and family therapist who's become a trusted voice in supporting
black and brown couples. Babashi has been providing culturally sensitive
health care for forty years. I'll be speaking with its CEO,
(00:23):
Sabrina Tate. But first joining us today is City Council
Member Jamie Gautier, a passionate advocate for housing justice and
equitable development in Philadelphia. As the City Council prepares for
an important ballot question related to affordable housing funding, Council
Member Gautier is helping lead the charge to make sure
(00:43):
communities benefit from development and not get left behind. At
the heart of this issue is a simple principle. When
developers pay for the right to build more densely, that
money is supposed to go into the Philadelphia Housing Trust Fund,
a lifeline for affordable housing. But so far those dollars
haven't been reinvested the way that they should. And that's
(01:05):
what we're going to be talking about with a council
member Thank you so much for joining us here today.
And this ballot question can sound a bit technical, so
I wonder if you can break it down for us
in plain English and explain why it's such an important
issue for Philadelphia residents.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Really, this is all about having more resources for affordable housing. So,
as you mentioned, we have this density Bonus program. It
allows for developers to build more densely if they quote
make a payment in lieu of providing affordable housing to
the City of Philadelphia. The intention was that this was
(01:43):
always going to go to the Housing Trust Fund, which
is our biggest local funding source for creating and preserving
affordable housing across the city of Philadelphia. But the reality
is that that has never happened. So at this point
we're being cheated out of nearly thirty six million dollars
in affordable housing benefits and that's enough for more than
(02:05):
eighteen hundred homes that we are entitled to by law.
And so the ballick question, if voters vote yes, which
I'm hoping they do, will end this injustice and create
a guaranteed funding stream to build and preserve more affordable
homes in Philadelphia.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Well, thanks for the clarification. Now the question is, how
does the current zoning process allow developers to avoid building
affordable housing and what's supposed to happen with the payments
that they make instead sure.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So, under the leadership of Councilmember Maria Canyonas Santez, a
former councilmember, Maria Canyonis Sanchez, several years ago she created
a voluntary inclusionary zoning policy which covers much of the
city of Philadelphia. So it allows for developers to either
include a portion of affordable units on sites in their developments,
(02:59):
or if they feel that they can't do that, they
have to make a payment and lou of providing affordable
housing to the city so that the city can invest
in affordable housing efforts. This is a good program that
Maria Keonis Sanchez created many years ago, but we never
close the loop until now of making sure that those
(03:22):
dollars get to the city's Housing Trust Fund, because the
reality is that most often developers do not include the
units on site. They choose to make this payment into
the Housing Trust Fund, and it's up to the city
to make sure that those dollars don't just sit in
the general fund, that they actually go towards what we
promise to communities and go towards affordable housing, which is
(03:45):
a critical need in the city of Philadelphia. So this
ballot question is intended to close that loophole and give
Philadelphia's residents what they deserve. And it's really important. This
could not come at a more critical time. At our
current pace, it will take over two hundred years to
build the amount of affordable housing that's needed in the
(04:08):
city of Philadelphia. And all of this is happening in
the era of Trump, where housing costs are going up
and all kinds of costs are going up for working families.
So we have to make sure that we're resourcing ourselves appropriately.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
So just let me make sure I understand the developers
have the choice of building affordable housing or putting money
into this fund. Are they putting money into this fund?
And why is it just sitting there if in fact
they are doing that.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
The developers have been putting the money into the fund
over the past several years since Maria Canona Sanchez set
up this program. We calculate there's been about thirty six
million dollars in contribution. The problem has lied on the
city side that money, even though it's been promised for
affordable housing and was intended to go towards affordable housing.
(04:58):
In reality, that money goes to the city's general fund,
and then whomever is mayor makes a decision about the
amount of that money that's going to the Housing Trust Fund.
What we want to do is get rid of that
decision point. The money is intended for the Housing Trust
Fund and that's where it needs to go. So we're
(05:18):
asking voters to clearly say that they want that to
happen so that we can make sure that the density
Bonus program is operating as intended and creating more affordable
housing in our community.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
So who's backing this ballot initiative and what are you
hearing from residents in your district about housing access and affordability.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
We have a lot of support on this. We have
support from families in our district, from city council members.
This ballot measure was supported unanimously by city Council's, supported
by housing advocates, experts, community leaders who are all saying
that we need more resources for affordable housing. But we
(06:00):
know that the voters have the final choice, and so
we're appealing to voters on May twentieth to also support
this increased funding stream for affordable housing in our city
at a time when we really, really really need it.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
It sounds like a no brainer there. So there's questions
on the ballot coming up on the twentieth. Where can
people go to learn more, read the ballot language, or
get involved ahead of the election.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Sure, people can visit phlcouncil dot com slash Housing Trust
Fund to learn more, or they can contact my office
by calling two one five six eight six zero four
six zero. And I want to make the point. I
want to break it down a little bit more so
people can understand the type of activities that are funded
(06:46):
through the Housing Trust Fund. So we're talking about programs
like Basic Systems Repair, which provides up to twenty five
thousand dollars in grant funding for free to home owners
to make the type of critical repairs on their homes
that they would not be able to afford otherwise. If
(07:06):
we had thirty six million dollars more in our Housing
Trust Fund, we could support eighteen hundred families with getting
the maximum benefit of those repairs. Thirty six million dollars
could also go towards rental assistance as a critical program
in the City of Philadelphia, where we're helping people with
(07:26):
the gap between the money that they make and what
they owe and rent, which is significant across the city.
The Housing Trust Fund also supports money to build to
create new affordable housing units, or to preserve and renovate
affordable housing units. So these are wonderful programs that keep
(07:47):
people hous that keep families off the streets, and we
need more resources for them.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, thank you for breaking that down. All those things
sound amazing. We certainly know that renovating aging housing stock
is one way to maintain and create affordable housing, renovating
older homes, all those things sound great at a time
when housing is at a critical place in the City
of Philadelphia, repeat one more time. Places we can go
(08:15):
for more information.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Listeners can visit phlcouncil dot com, slash Housing Trust Fund,
or call my office at two one five six eight
six zero four six zero to learn more.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Thank you so much for raising awareness on this ballot
question that's going to be on the ballot that is
all about creating affordable housing for for all of us
that need it, And I want to thank you so
much Council Member Jamie Garier, who is supporting this very
important ballot question. Thank you so much for all that
you do for us.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Thank you for having me, Lorraine.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
You're listening to Insight Today we're joined by Sabrina Tate,
President and CEO of Bibashi Transition to Hope, one of
Philadelphia's most trusted in impactful health and social service organizations.
For forty years, Bibashi has provided culturally sensitive care and
support to underserved communities, offering everything from HIV services to
(09:15):
food access, case management, and health education. Now celebrating its
fortieth anniversary and settling into a new home in University City,
Bibashi is continuing to expand its reach and reimagine what
holistic care and community support can look like. So joining
me right now is Sabrina Tate. Thank you so much,
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
For having me.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
I'm excited to be here and talk about all the
great things that are happening.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Well, it's been forty years. Those who may not know
your story, can you tell us a bit about your
background and what brought you to this work at Babashi.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Most of my career has been working with children. I've
worked at the school district, I've worked in various different
nonprofits throughout the city of Philadelphia in mental health and
child protective services. The position at Babasha came about some
years ago and there was an opportunity to do education
in a different way. And as a woman who had
experienced some not so great care in the healthcare system,
(10:10):
I thought, well, this is my opportunity to represent folks
like me, and so I interviewed for the position and
I came in as their second in command and was
eventually graduated to president and CEO. And I absolutely love
the organization. It is not a job, it is a passion.
It's a calling. Yeah, that's how I came to Blebashi.
I've been there now for six years.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Wow, that's great. Well, Babashi has a long, powerful legacy.
I was able to really talk about Kababashi at the
ground floor at its inception, and this came at a time.
Bibashi came at a time when HIV was something people
didn't talk about, especially in communities of color. And sister
Rashida Hassan, I'm not sure what her married name is
(10:51):
these days, but in any case, she was an extraordinary
visionary and started the organization which has really grown and expanded.
What if you can share the mission behind the organization
and what makes it so essential to the communities you serve.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Let me first pay homage to doctor Rashida abdul Kabir.
Our new wellness center at our new location is named
after her. She continues to be the inspiration for the
things that we do, and so our mission then was
to serve people who were HIV positive and make sure
that they had a smooth transition and felt like they
were heard and received healthcare in a dignified way despite
(11:28):
having a diagnosis that then was had a lot of
stigma attached to it. Now we just address all of
the health disparities that impact black and brown people in
the city of Philadelphia, and we give them the opportunity
to be partners in their wellness journey. So it's not
just healthcare, it's also food security, housing security, social service connections,
(11:50):
and all the things that impact our wellness.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
You mentioned the areas in which you do address for
the community. I wonder if you can walk us through
some of the key services that you.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Provide our I guess flagship programs would include prevention and education,
which is going out into the community connecting with people,
giving them education about sexual health. But overall health in
general having them come into the organization and learn about
how to protect themselves.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
We do testing.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Obviously, that is a part of the navigation realm. We
do case management for people who are HIV positive. We
have housing services for folks who are HIV positive who
are in need of housing, so we help them supplement
their income and find stable housing and remain in housing.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
That's a newer program.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
One of our largest programs is our food and security programs.
So we have a Pantry of Choice which allows people
to have a dignified shopping experience and they get to
pick the foods that they would eat.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
And it eliminates food waste. So those are some of
the things that we do.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Obviously, our Wellness Center, which is centered around making sure
that people who are uninj under insured, or who have
insurance but don't have a primary care physician get the
culturally sensitive services that they need.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Babashi has been located on Spring Garden for a very
long time. Long time, but you have moved into a
new space in University City and tell us more about
what this move means for Babashi's future and the people
you serve.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
We still have a part of our Wellness Center and
our prevention services at twelve thirty seven Spring Garden Street,
so it's right next door to where our main building was,
so we still have a piece of us in North Philadelphia.
We didn't want to leave North Philadelphia altogether, but we've
expanded most of our services to forty.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
One oh one Woodland Avenue.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
We're in University City and this allows us to create
some new partnerships. It allows us to expand, so we
have five exam rooms now. We had two in the past,
So now with North Philadelphia, I guess that's seven exam rooms.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
We have separate blood draw rooms and just more room.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
But it also allows us to include other services. We
have a partnership that is up and coming with a
mental health organization, so we'll have mental health on site
as well as the services that we provide. We look
forward to the partnerships with the eds and meds in
the University City area and are really excited about just
(14:21):
the new building and everything that comes along with it.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It's beautiful to see how one person's dream and mission
has blossomed into the organization that Babashi is now transitioned
to Hope. This year marks the fortieth anniversary of Babashi's
services to Philadelphia. What does this milestone mean to you
and how are you celebrating?
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Wow, So we have not yet announced an event to celebrate.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
We're still trying to figure out what that looks like.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
It's been a while, we haven't had a gala since COVID,
so we certainly are looking to do something to celebrate.
But the move and cutting the ribbon was the first
part of this fortieth year for years, means that we
are really a staple in the city of Philadelphia right
The move I think was the biggest way in which
we market but it means that what we do is
(15:09):
so much more than HIV. What we do is impactful
to the city and relevant in many many ways, and
hopefully we'll have another forty that continues to expand and serve.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Looking ahead, what's next for Bibashi and how can folks
support your mission or get involved or get the services
that you provide.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
What's next is we continue to make partnerships throughout the
city of Philadelphia. Hopefully we continue to expand. Obviously, there
have been some challenges in terms of budget cuts and
things like that that have impacted the work that we do,
but we stand ten tos deep on making sure that
we do it no matter what, and hopefully the city
will continue to support us in making sure that people
are well and continuing to have conversations like this so
(15:49):
people know where we are, what we're doing, and where
to find us well.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Tell us your website and any social media that you
might have and your phone number.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
So we're at Babashi dot org, beeba Shi dot org.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
That is our website.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
On Instagram, we're Philly dot Bibashi. On Facebook, you can
find us at just bibashi, and the same for LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Fantastic And what's your phone number? For those who may
not be so computer literate.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's two on five seven sixty nine three five sixty one.
Speaker 5 (16:22):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
So there's lots of different ways to connect with Bibashi,
whether you're looking to donate, whether you're looking for services
or perhaps even volunteer. Yes, at Bibashi, there are all
kinds of options for you. Sabrina Tate, president and CEO
of Babashi Transition to Hope, when of Philadelphia's most trusted
and impactful health and social service organizations, celebrating forty years
(16:46):
providing culturally sensitive care and support to underserved communities.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Thank you so much, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We are going to be talking about relations everybody needs
help in that area and joining us right now is
April Lancid. She's a Philadelphia based licensed marriage and family
therapist and the founder of the April Lanced and Associates organization.
With over a decade of experience, April has become a
trusted voice in supporting black and brown couples and individuals
(17:19):
through culturally responsive therapy. Her work centers around relationship wellness,
emotional connection, and trauma recovery. This also happens to be
National Couples Appreciation Months. So April, very awesome to have
you here, especially as we are now talking about the
importance of relationships. So can you share a little bit
(17:39):
about your background and what inspired you to become a
marriage and family therapist?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
Yes, thank you Loraine for having me here. I have
actually been a therapist for over eighteen years and I
have had my practice for the last ten years, but
specifically working with relationships for fourteen years. And what I
say I saw when I developed my practice was that
I wanted a space for couples to work on their relationship.
(18:05):
I had worked for over a decade in mental health
services in the Philadelphia region, but most of the services
never focused on relationships, and so I wanted to create
a space where couples could come and work on their marriage,
their relationship, get married, stay married, a co parent, or
maybe end up in a separation if that happened as well.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Now, April, you work closely with black and brown couples.
What unique challenges do you often see in these communities
and how does culturally responsive therapy support healing.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Yeah, so when I originally opened the practice, it was
really to service people of all walks of life. But
what I did not know was that my biggest clientele
was going to be black and brown people. It's kind
of like that saying, once you open a space, people
will come. And so the people that began to come
were black and brown couples. And what I saw was
that they were coming in with complex issues, things that
(18:58):
couldn't be resolved in one or two sessions. And so
what I call that is generational trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship disconnection,
lack of intimacy, and vulnerability is what I was seeing
happening in those relationships that were showing up on my couch.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Well, well, we also have to talk about the overall
impact of racism in our society, especially for black men.
Every day is a challenge, because that is something any
person of color experiences, but black men in particular, you know,
no matter what type of life they lead, whether they're
(19:35):
super successful professionals or someone who's just doing some great
blue collar work, the challenges are especially rough, I think
for black men.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Yes, I would agree.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
And so when I talk about the trend of my practice,
the black men were actually the one reaching out for
the therapy. They were the ones calling and saying, I
want to try this couple's therapy thing. I don't know
about this, we don't really do this in my neighborhood,
but I'm willing to give it a shot. And what
I noticed about their experiences was that they didn't have
many outlets where they could talk about the trauma that
(20:09):
they faced or what it means to be a black
man in the world and showing up in those spaces
and then bringing that home to their partner. And so
this was the first time that I was starting to
see what was it like for them to sit on
the couch and unpack that and share what their experiences
were with their partners, and sometimes their partners were like
their minds were blown because they never heard those stories,
they never witnessed those experiences. And then it was almost
(20:32):
like they had the Oprah's Aha moment, like, oh my God, like,
this is really what you've been going through, this is
what you've been experiencing. This is why we have this
disconnect in our marriage. This is why we can't resolve
conflicts in our relationship because these are the things that
you're dealing with every day, and I never would have
thought to ask you those specific questions.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Well, definitely, having culturally competent therapy is very important, but
we also know that there are some issues that impact everybody,
no matter who you are or what part of life
you're from. Why is it so crucial for folks to
address these common stressors like finances, parenting, communication, breakdowns, These
are all things that impact all couples.
Speaker 6 (21:09):
I think sure, when I think about finances, I think
that most people have a money story. You either knew
about money growing up or you didn't know about money
growing up. And so what I see is that couples
have differences and how they articulate the finances in their life,
and that creates a lot of stressors depending on what
they've learned and what they've experienced. And I think being
(21:32):
able to develop strategies to have intentional conversations about finances
is how you work through collaboration and connections. Sometimes couples
will be at odds with each other for weeks about
finances and never really being able to sit down and
have those solid conversations about what I made this decision
based on some sort of historical moment in my life,
(21:53):
and that has a lot to do with why I
choose certain things financially in our relationship.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
When it comes to parenting, I think that parents are
special people.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
I say that because when you are parenting with another person,
you're bringing two different identities to the table to parent
this one person. And when you are parenting, you don't
want to be an enemy and you don't want your
child to see that your enemies. So being able to
have alignment and purpose and how you parent your child.
Every parent is going to have their style, their strategy
(22:24):
of how they show up, and I think it's important
for the parents to embrace what the other person's strong
suit is and allow that to be the alignment that
you agree to disagree on. When it comes to teaching
children to be resilient, I think a lot of the
parents that I have worked with always talk about wanting
to give their children what they did not have, and
(22:45):
so they parent from that place. But there are just
moments that, no matter how much you want to keep
your child safe, in order for them to develop their
own grit, their own resilience, you have to create those
moments that allows them to fall right and then they
have to learn how to pick themselves up.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
But you could be there and be the listener.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
I think you can also be there set the boundaries
and the foundation for them to let them know like, okay,
I hear you.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
I want your voice to be.
Speaker 6 (23:10):
Violid in this relationship, but there's a line between respect
and disrespect, and being clear with your child about those boundaries,
I think is how you build a resilient kid.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Yeah, boy, I feel so much better talking to right now.
I think you're therapizing me right as we speak. Well,
you know what, You've said some very interesting things, and
I think that one of the things that we often
forget is that we all come into the world with
the story oh as adults, Right, you talk about how
our finances can be informed by how we were taught
(23:42):
to relate to money in the past, and when it
comes to parenting, same thing. You know, how you were
raised is going to have an impact, right, so being
able to get beyond the story. But then getting back
to something I talked about a little bit earlier, which
is the impact of racism on everyday life.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
We do carry.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Trauma, and it's not just trauma from our immediate past.
There's also trauma that's generational that we hand on from
generation to generation. So I wonder if you can talk
about these generational patterns of trauma that really inform how
people read, relate to things, and how do you address
stuff that's like deeply rooted in generations of experience.
Speaker 6 (24:24):
When I look at generational trauma in a relationship, it's
important to understand that I'm looking at it from the
context of the psychological, the behavior they're emotional in, the
patterns within their family system, and that means that there
are certain patterns behaviors that are unresolved from one generation
to the next, and then you carry those traumas in
(24:44):
your everyday life, and then you get into a relationship
with a person who just happens to unconsciously trigger you, right,
and then those behaviors then show up in your romantic
relationship and you're not able to understand why are you
having this disconnect? And generational trauma could be connected to abuse, neglect, poverty, racism, displacement.
And now, I mean, we're living in a time where
(25:04):
we're living in war, and so there's only things that
we can imagine a person will experience living in a
different country, dealing with war, and then coming to build
their own relationship after enduring those traumas.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
What happens in.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Those relationships is they begin to recreate some of the
things that they thought that they had worked through. We
see this in people's attachment style, We see this in
unconscious beliefs, We see this in reoccurring cycles. So although
you might have grew up in let's say a household
where people dealt with conflict by silence, then you'll go
into your relationship with your partner and you'll deal with
(25:39):
that person in silence, and you won't communicate what your
needs are or what you.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
Need to address in that relationship.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
And so when we think about this generational cycle that continues,
the only way that we can begin to break it
is bringing it conscious, having those conversations, naming what it
is that you're experiencing and what's happening and how is
it affecting you. Many times people get into relationships and
they're not always aware that they're showing up until there's
(26:04):
these reoccurring arguments that just never seem resolved, and couples
talk about the dance of being in this vicious cycle
that goes on and on and on, and they often
will say, well, we never resolve this. This seems like
an unfinished conversation, and it usually is because you haven't
got to the root cause of why this keeps showing up.
And so when we deal with that in therapy, we
unpack all of that. Okay, tell me a story so
(26:25):
that you can rewrite the story. If you don't want
this to be your story, then the goal in therapy
is reauthoring your story.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
I think so many.
Speaker 6 (26:32):
People live by social constructs of what they think a
relationship is supposed to be. And I always say, you
can redefine your relationship on your own terms. Even though
your parents did this, your family did this, it doesn't
mean that what they gave you wasn't enough. It just
means that you can take what they gave you and
turn it into something else in order to make it
what you want it to be.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And I love that rewriting our story. I mean, it's
like what I think we often forget is that our
story is a story. That it's not like a solid piece.
So it's not a ball or a bat, or it's
not a chair. It's a story. It's a story that
basically just gets recreated in our minds, but it's not
real real, And I love that you talk about that. Now.
(27:12):
I'm very encouraged that you say you're getting calls from
men who are interested in getting into therapy. But we
do know that we're still facing a lot of stigma
around mental health and a reluctance in our community to
seek help, professional help. You know, sometimes it's like pray
it away. Well, you know that doesn't always work, as
we know. So I wonder if what you can speak
(27:33):
to in terms of our reluctance to actually seek the
kind of help that you can provide and others like you.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
Yeah, So when we think about stigma, obviously that's historic.
There's a lot of narratives that were said about people
going into therapy getting mental health, And so what I
try to do is normalize the conversation. I always tell families, individuals, couples,
whoever is coming to sit on the couch or now
telehealth screen with me, is that just because you may
(28:01):
have had one bad experience with therapy or mental health,
it doesn't have to be your entire experience. So I
always ask couples, families, or individuals, what is it about
this experience that make that can make you feel good
about sitting here with me. The other question that I
typically ask couples is what are the things that they
were told about therapy that made them feel that this
(28:22):
isn't for them? And so sometimes they'll say, well, I
come from a family that said, you don't talk about problems,
you be strong, you cover it up, you don't show emotion,
you don't show tears. And so I say to them,
let's okay you to fill all of those things and
be in the space to process all of those things.
It doesn't mean that every single thing is going to
be resolved, but you can at least walk away feeling
(28:42):
that you were able to unpack some of the burden
that you've been carrying.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Well, you definitely created a safe space right here in
the studio, and I'm very impressed with how you approach
therapy and mental health and how important it is to
be culturally confident. If people want to know more about
your practice, the Philadelphia based license marriage and family therapists
that you are April Lanced and associates, how do they
get in touch?
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Yeah, so you can follow me on Ala therapy dot com.
We also are on Instagram, so Ala Therapyinstagram dot com.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Is also where we are.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
Our website is ww dot Ala therapy dot com. You
can follow me on LinkedIn as April Lancet. Our private
practice is a practice of several different clinicians, so although
I am still the face and founder and CEO of
the practice, there are other therapists of color who also
work at this practice who are ready for you whenever
you call or email us or text us.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Well, I want to thank you so much for coming
in and talking about relationships because those are absolutely key
and be able to address the trauma of the past,
being able to redirect our behaviors so that they're not
based on a story that we told ourselves about what
is real and who we are, but that we can
rewrite our story April Lanced from April Lanced and associates,
(29:58):
thank you so much. You can listen to all of
today's interviews by going to our station website and typing
in keyword Community. You can also listen on the iHeartRadio
app ye Words Philadelphia Community Podcast. Follow me on Twitter
and Instagram at Lorraine Ballard. I'm Lorraine Ballard morel and
I stand for service to our community and media that empowers.
What will you stand for? You've been listening to Insight
(30:21):
and thank you
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