July 31, 2022 • 45 mins
Maller is in the studio with Danny G. and they're having some podcast fun with the mail bag for your Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and
welcome into a special addition of the Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny G Radio. As we have returned
(00:44):
to the podcast, do Joe and we are ready for
what I look forward to every week. Now. I'm not sure,
like what podcast gets the most downloads. Is it the
Friday one with the interview? Is it The Saturday Life
of Mallard and Danny G? Or is it the mail Bag?
As you know, Danny, I just keep my head down
(01:07):
and keep marching on, hoping that the audience is there.
And you know, it's it's an odd thing that the Mailbag.
I like it because I don't really know what we're
gonna get on. The Mailbag literally is a mixed bag.
I've told you before. One of my favorite segments working
with you on the live show. Was asked Ben, because
(01:27):
I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what
questions we're gonna come up. And then we would learn
something new about you and everybody on the crew. And
most of the time it was something humorous that we'd
all be laughing about later. Well, it might be romantic
or you know, and that's so sweet and hopefully not romantic.
Nobody wants to hear about that. That's true, That's definitely true.
(01:51):
You can tell some story about how you save somebody
out of a burning car and the crowd went wild.
Would you run towards a burning car to help somebody?
You know? You don't know until you're in the moment.
I would like to think I would, depending on the
level of fire. Depending on the level of fire, yeah,
like smoke and you maybe you could see just a
(02:14):
little bit of flames starting by the engine. Yea, in
my head. I think we all have this and like
the cartoon bubble in our heads. Were the hero, right,
we run over just in the nick of time, We
pull the person out of the car, we get away,
and then when we get like thirty steps away, kaboom,
the thing explodes and and then we wake up and
(02:37):
we realize that's actually not what happened, that none of that,
none of that took place, and boom goes to dynamite.
All right, let's get to the mail bag. It's all right.
(03:04):
The first question on the mailbag comes from Kevin in Kansas.
He says, Dear Ben and Danny G. You both have
odd sleep schedules. What's the longest you've gone without sleep
and how un normal were you during that span or
did you actually function decently? That is from Kevin, our
(03:27):
buddy in Kansas who is a fellow teacher Danny G.
And So I trying to think the longest way, I
think it might have actually been when I had my
gall bladder issues because I couldn't sleep. I was so
uncomfortable that it was a nightmare. Uh So that might
have been it. Outside of that, when I was doing
(03:49):
that television stuff at NBC and I was traveling and
I had to get off the plane and immediately work.
But the problem I have is I sound like I'm drunk.
I start luring my words, which is when you're in
the business I'm in and you're in, Danny, that becomes problematic.
Except a lot of our favorite Mallard Militia members sound
(04:11):
that way. That is true, Yeah, you just sound like
the leader. Yeah. But as far as the number of
hours I without doing any kind of pharmaceuticals like Jet
who fled that some of the other people that call
the show, I would say, I've probably stayed up maybe
three days. I think is the is about the limit
(04:33):
on that. I've definitely done two days a lot where
I've gone over forty right around forty eight hours where
I have gone without sleep. So I've done that. But
I'm getting older now, Danny, we're both getting older. I
don't know how much that I can do anymore. I
need at least a few hours. I'm not a good sleeper,
but it's at least a few There were some nights
where I had to do the intricate parts of some projects. Now,
(04:57):
mind you, that's sixty kids, sixty different projects. So I
had the hot glue gun out here at home, and
I had like an assembly line on my kitchen table encounters.
I literally was up all night working on it, and
then showered, went to work, stayed up working all day,
(05:17):
got home. I love science. You know, I guess that's
doable because you don't sleep, You're up for two days whatever.
But when I first started the podcast with you and
I was moving here to where I'm at now, Ben,
there was a three day span where I was moving,
working at the network, working at the school, and I
(05:37):
literally did not sleep for three straight days. It was
just work, this shift, double shift, this move. And I
remember being in my old place in Burbank with my
eyes just bugged out. I've never done drugs like cocaine
or anything like that, but that would have been the
time to start. I remember thinking to myself, how did
(06:03):
people do this back in the eighties, you know, where
they just worked around the clock and they never slept.
And then it occurred to me they did not do
it on their own. They didn't do it sober. Oh yeah,
I've heard stories about people we I think we know
some of the people who have done television in l
A who were skiing the mountains even when there was
(06:27):
no snow on the mountains. They were they were riding
the white Horse. Yes, yes, exactly, exactly so uh yeah,
But I've never done that stuff either. I mean, people
get blown away. I've I've talked about this also in
the past, but I I've never had a cup of coffee,
and I can't have it at this point because that
is my claim to fame, that is my conversation starter.
(06:50):
I have crossed the rubicon of age where I can
no longer discuss uh even having a cup of coffee
because it's off the table. And sushi, right, I've never
had sushi either, That is correct. I've never see. The
sushi part is amazing to me. The coffee, I kind
of get it because I don't exactly like the smell
(07:10):
of black coffee. Um, you know, I need like a
lot of creamer, I need a lot of sugar, I
need milk added. So I like the cold coffee. I
would drink a cold latte way before I would drink
any sort of hot coffee. So I kind of can
understand that. But never having sushi and you live in
(07:30):
southern California, that's just weird. I'm obviously weird. I'm in radio.
You know that you're not even a California roll. See,
that's like sushi par beginners. No, I've never. I've never.
I don't like fish. If I don't like fish when
it's cooked, why am I gonna eat sushi when it's not?
(07:51):
When it's not cooked. We forgot, by the way, to
mention our buddy ohio Aw. We thank ohio Aw. I
just kind of slid it. We slid into that without
giving him the proper credit. It's a bad job by us.
But Ohio aw came up with the the jingle great Ohio.
All the mail continues, it does not end. I got
mail yea, I got mail yea. The air from East
(08:16):
of the Rockies rights and he says, I am writing
in on the wild card line. He says, uh, I
like that. Three quick questions, Hey, why did you save
your bone breaking adventures for the Mallard Town podcast and
not your own? And he says, credit to the Aussie
(08:37):
guy for breaking the news. That's a great question, Pierre.
I don't know why that that ended up that way.
I never I never spent too much time, uh worried
about him. I just kind of, like I told, I
told the story with him, and I guess it just
didn't come up on the podcast. That's a bad job
by me. He also says, can you share the cautionary
(08:58):
tale of Ernie the Great oh Piner for the listeners.
He says he wants to know the details. Ernie was
you were on the show when Ernie was part of
the show, right, Danny there, and Ernie was a big,
big part of what we were doing and all that,
and he quit the show like he was like a
major contributor in the show. And Ernie was a great
(09:19):
fan of the show. And we had the Muppet remember
the Muppets account and and and actually Pierre is alf
the alien o Pineer and he was one of the
guys that started that. And Ernie was getting so upset
because he had Ernie from Burton Ernie as his avatar,
and he was so annoyed by all these other Muppet accounts.
(09:39):
It was hilarious, it was. But and that's part of
the reason he went away. Uh, And I don't I
don't think we're gonna hear from Ernie again. Unfortunately, I
think nothing. He's dead. I think he's moved on. But
it sucks if somebody quits your live show, it's almost
like a death. Yeah, these are people that are part
of our family. I agree with you. It's a weird
(10:00):
thing when they get traded, like like Chris and Houston,
who was like a nemesis from Houston. Chris, but he
doesn't call anymore because he's on the dreaded day shift.
He's sold out for the day shift, and yah, you
miss him. You're like like, once in a while, I'd
like to have a nice conversation with Chris so I
could bust his balls about the Astros, the cheating as astros.
(10:23):
Uh and Pierre also says, is Fullerton west of the
four oh five? Asking for a friend, he says, uh no,
uh no, no, no, it is west Uh it's actually
east of the five, although I think the five goes
through part of Fullerton west of Fashion Island. Yes, yes,
(10:44):
that is uh let's it's not anyway, I thank you
for that. Next up, Ironically enough, I don't know how
this worked out. Come back, pay a touch. It's time
from now. I'll call Mike from Fullerton rights and he says,
has USC and U c l A joining the Big
Ten made you feel any different now that southern California
(11:06):
is part of the Big ten country. It took me
a while to adjust, but I'm really starting to appreciate
these Midwestern values since Mike from Fullerton. Yeah, when I
was driving through Westwood this week to get to the
Fox Sports radio studios, I was I took the dreaded
four oh five to get over the hill and through
(11:28):
bel air and all that nonsense. And so I'm driving
and I'm looking at the u c l A Campus.
I'm like, wow, I can't believe they get snow here.
That's what it's gonna be wild. It's absolutely crazy. And
I wonder what the U c A Hockey team is
gonna be And when they take on Wisconsin in Michigan,
it's it's gonna be cool, right man. Uh. And then
(11:49):
Mike also says he's adding a few more to his
interview wish list, and he's got Ralph Lawler, Don McLean,
Jose Mode uh, and Donald Trump. He says Danny g
has his number, and he says last, but certainly least
Brian Finley's on the list. So out of that list,
(12:11):
not that we do list podcasting, but Ralph Lawler I
believe will be on the podcast at some point. I'm
friends with Ralph. He's retired now, he's he spend part
of his time in Oregon, part of his time in Florida.
But the reason I believe he'll come on the podcast,
Danny he's got a book. Yeah, the books coming out,
(12:32):
so he'll be on the pimp his book, and I
actually want to read the book. He's gonna tell Sterling stories,
stories about Donald Sterling, his time with the Clippers, obviously
his life. And so hopefully we'll get him on at
some point. I know, I know all these guys except Trumps,
Don McClean I know from the Petrols and Money Show,
(12:55):
and Don I when he played in the NBA years
ago and all that. He's been around forever, So hopefully
we get him on. And Jose Moda known known Jose
for for many many years. Also casually, you know we're
not best friends. Then would this be a good time
to vent for a minute about Brian Billick? Is it now?
Can we officially put the cover of the coffin down
(13:20):
and say that's it? We're done? Are we at that point? Though?
I would like to because on a previous podcast we
joked around, because we jumped through all these hoops with
Brian Billick and his representative to get him on as
a guest on the podcast Brian bill Brian Billick, they
said yes to the interview, and then through email only,
(13:42):
they would not give me cell phone numbers except we
had one cell phone number. Remember that said this isn't
Brian's phone anymore. Oh that's right, yes, yes, And I
got that number from somebody who that was the number
that was Brian Billick pretended like his cell phone number
wasn't his cell phone number. And in that text message,
(14:05):
which was very odd, he said, Brian Billick doesn't use
this cell phone anymore. You need to get ahold of
his rep. And he gave the reps name and I'm like, well,
if Brian doesn't use this phone anymore, how would this
person know who Brian Billicks rep is. So I'm like, okay, whatever,
I'll play your stupid game. Brian Billick. I've been emailing
(14:27):
back and forth with his rep. This is just amazing
to me because back and forth, I'm talking ten emails. Ben,
he doesn't come on the podcast. So you and I
were like whatever, Brian Billick. I even I have a
funny drop from that podcast because you're like Brian Billick,
Brian Billick, Brian bill Brian Billick. And it's just funny
(14:50):
to hear your voice cracking because you're so piste off
about dumb ass Brian Billy. Well, fast forward to Monday,
I get email from the rep saying hey, Danny, it's
been a while. I know you guys really wanted to
have Brian on the show Good News. He's doing media
tomorrow all day Tuesday. He's gonna go on TV and radio.
(15:15):
So give me the time for Ben and we'll make
it happen. I promise. And I'm like, well that's nice.
I mean, you know, it was a ship show last
time trying to work with this guy. But he's trying
to make it up to us. So I text you.
I'm like, hey, Ben, what's your window? When can we
take this guy? Yeah? I gave you two windows, right,
do it a morning window in an afternoon window to
(15:38):
completely f up my day for the podcast. Talk to
Brian Billick, who is not coached in the NFL and
over a decade. I immediately send this information back to
him via email and I'm like, dude, we look forward
to it. Here are the two windows. Let me know
what works for Brian. Got crickets, that's all we got.
(16:03):
Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick
tick tick. Nothing nothing back, nothing back, nothing back. I'm
checking my email all day now. I'm interrupting my school
job by trying to slightly check my email in between
lesson plans and teaching these kids in the classroom. I'm like, all,
are you guys cutting paste over there? I gotta check
(16:24):
my email. So I'm checking my email. Nothing from this guy.
Nothing back. Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick. Day goes,
day goes, nothing back. So that night I email him
again and I'm like, dude, it's almost Tuesday. When are
we gonna say? I wake up Ben? I set my
alarm for Tuesday morning. I set it for four am,
(16:45):
five am, and six am. That way I don't miss
any communication with this guy. I get one email from
him Tuesday morning at five a m r. Time, and
it said what time does Ben wanted to hype again?
And and mind you Danny. In the afternoon, I'm texting
(17:08):
my friend in Baltimore because he knows Billick and he's
one of the people whatever so we're friends, and and
he's like, hey, I heard Billocks on one of the
stations in Baltimore right now doing an interview. You know, like,
wait a minute, this is one of the windows that
I had given Danny and Billicks red interview. And then
(17:30):
he popped up on a station in Denver like he
did a bunch of like radio stuff and a few
podcast things. But we were on the list and we
didn't make the lid. What was that? Hi? I like
the saint. That's that's fine, that's it. And next time
and they need something to promote, I'll remember this, al right.
Next time they had some crappy product they want to
(17:52):
promote or whatever, some gambling thing, I'll remember. All right,
I'm moving on as we continue. You always exciting a
fifth hour mail bag? Who is next here? All right?
We have Neil from the real Miami, he says, A
(18:13):
three hour long but scenic drive from Hemingway's Key West
a great place for the Miami chapter of the Mallard
Militia to meet up. You can fly over to Miami
or Fort Lauderdale twenty minutes away Gascon and Lawrence the
Lawyer ak marlins Man can pick you up in a
(18:34):
stretch Limo and we can swing by to get weed man,
hippie and cantankerous COVID couple from pombay Uh And on
the way to Key West, what do you say? Yeah, well,
you name pretty much all the listeners, although we did
have that that guy the dick from from Miami. Then
(18:54):
I love you? Who calls up every once in a while.
He hasn't called up in a while. That would be
great fun. I'd love to do it. I've I've been
to Miami at once in my life. I was there
for like a week years ago for a World Series
and I've not been back, so that would be That
would be great. And uh, I've friends that have moved there,
(19:16):
and I know a lot of people in Florida. Over
the last three years, a lot of people left California.
Many of them have gone not just to Miami, but
Orlando and you name it, the Gulf Coast region where
the what they call the redneck rivieria, I believe is
the term some friends that are there. Uh. Neil also
says pro tip for you and the Mallard militia. Best
(19:38):
time to go to Miami is the end of the
hurricane season, which is from Halloween when they have a
Freaky Fantasy Fest and then followed by festival after festival,
including some food festivals like seafood so you can pick
your own poison. That's great advice. Yeah, And that's a
(20:00):
good time to go anyway, because the weather in Miami
is always pretty much the same. It doesn't really get
that cold doesn't get that hot. It's always kind of
the same around the same temperature. So if you go
there in October, I maybe wait till November, right because
it gets a little colder in November. Where we are,
it doesn't get all that cold. So thanks for the information, Neil.
(20:21):
And if I do end up having another one of
my friends relocate to Miami, I guess I'm gonna have
to go back to Miami. And sounds to me like
there will be more people I know moving to Miami. Miami, Miami.
You've got mail Tony in Seattle, write s this is
somewhat related, he says. The next place you'd like to travel?
(20:44):
Yes with Mrs Mallard and Mrs TINDERNI So any road trips?
I know you You mentioned your car issues here, Danny,
so she won't be going on any car trips. But
any any exotic locations that you'd like to visit. No,
nothing exotic. We're actually gonna try to go to Disneyland
(21:06):
next week. That's tost of going somewhere exotic. Are you
gonna start robbing banks on the way? Um? I do
have a few week days off in between this summer
school job ending and the next school semester starting. That's
gonna be nice to have a couple of week days off.
Just gonna try to stay close by in southern California. No,
(21:28):
nothing long distance until November. A stay cation. Yeah, of course.
We got Maui coming up in November. That's that's the
big one. That's the big one. So we're saving. We're
in that mode right now where we're like, get the
one that's on sale. I hear you. Yeah, as far
as me, Tony. Actually, I would like to get to
(21:51):
the Pacific Northwest again, a lot of Portland. My wife's
got a friend in Portland and we were talking about
going up there and visiting her and her kid and
all that. Uh. And I want to get back to Minnesota.
I was so close in Wisconsin, and I learned that
people from Minnesota do not cross the Wisconsin Minnesota border.
It's a point of demarcation. It's apparently the people in
(22:13):
Wisconsin hate the people in Minnesota and vice versa. They
think the other state is like a demilitarized zone. So
I had a meet and greet in Appleton, and we
had all these listeners in Minnesota like, oh yeah, I'm
gonna drive over it's a long drive, but I want
to meet you. And then nobody showed up from Minnesota,
but I we we do so well there on the
radio show. I really would love to meet a bunch
(22:35):
of the big fans of the show that listen on
on CAFAN. One of the great sports talkers in the country,
and it's very cool that they carry the overnight show.
So I'd love to go in there and go to
some juicy lucy place. And if you're one of our
p ones and you know a restaurant in Minnesota, like
the reason I picked a Latin Fusion restaurant in Appleton
(22:58):
because I was a friend of the family and so
I it's much easier to do these things if you
end up knowing someone or you have somebody's a fan
of the show at the restaurant. Uh. There has been
some talk of a Mallard meet and greet sometime in
August at a I cannot reveal the location yet, that's
not finalized, so I don't want to say anything about
(23:18):
it to jinx it Um. But to answer your question again,
Tony Minnesota, possibly Portland's and that's that's about it. But
whether I get to any of those places I can't
can't say, what do you like? Burn it down? Like Bakersfield?
How dare you that stadium still there although it should
(23:38):
be burnt down? I will say that Chris and Marracoca
to Iowa, Right, since it's you and Danny G should
start watching a TV series together and you can discuss
the weekly episode on the pod. Yeah. I don't know
that I have enough time, neither to you Danny, with
our crazy schedules to dedicate every week to watch an episode.
(23:59):
But from I'm the time I I did this with
with Gascon back in the day west of the four
oh five, where if there was a cool documentary or something,
and we could both watch it and give our like
book report or movie review like Siskel and Ebert, there's
an outdated reference thumbs up or thumbs down, you know,
on the on the documentary. Have you been watching the
(24:20):
Jeter documentary? God? No, I'm not a Yankee fan, and
I I don't want to overdose on athlete worship, so
I've not I've not checked it out. I have heard,
I've heard some things. The Yankee fans, of course love it.
They think it's the greatest thing ever. But I'm not
a Yankees fan by any means, But I like it.
But I like most sports documentaries. Yeah, like I'm I'm
(24:43):
hit and miss on the sports documentary thing, like some
of them. I love the one about the baseball cards.
I thought was fascinating. But I'm on the age of
where I grew up in that world, so I see that.
I'm like, oh, man, well I was. I was a
Mark and they took advantage of me as a kid.
Rat bastards. Me and my older brother. Man, I've told
(25:06):
you before paper Chase, our goal in life was to
get some little bit of coin and get our butts
to paper Chase to buy some more plastic sheets. Oh yeah,
I got a whole wing filled with cards and I
still have to get rid of. But a part of
me's like, no, it's nostalgia. But then the other part
of me is taking up space. I gotta get rid
of this stuff. What a pain in the behind. That was?
(25:31):
All right, let's keep it going on the mailbag. Next
up is Mark. He says, how did Marcel completely fool you? Ben?
That dude is the biggest fake ever. Ben. He's making
you look really weird, Ben? Is that really him? On Twitter? Yeah? Yeah,
that's Marcel. I didn't know he was black, not to
(25:56):
sound like that famous Ben Mallard drop. Famous man. I
don't know if you know this, but I'm black. That's right. That.
Oh that was the guy that sounded like Bill Cosby.
I used to Arizona have that drop in my hard drive. Here.
Hey man, you might not notice, but I'm black. Yeah.
He just readily starts and it was hilarious. Marcel is
(26:21):
African American, and uh, all these people think we're getting punked.
And he's a character. And this is another one of
those cases where Danny people seem to think we have
a much bigger budget than we do and that we're
much more creative than we are. Neither one of those
things is true, because Marcel is a kid who lives
(26:42):
in the projects in Brooklyn. I've said it before. We'll
say it again for those of you that haven't heard.
Marcel's got issues. He's got problems. He loves the radio.
It's his outlet to the world. He doesn't get out
of his home, he doesn't see the world. He's stuck
in this little apartment in Brooklyn, and Uncle Dynamite comes
by and gives him food and and so there's only
(27:05):
a couple of things he eats. But Marcel, for him,
this is like the greatest thing in the world that
he gets to be on the radio. And he likes
being a character. From what I can tell, he likes
being a character on the show, and he likes to
play along with us and all that and so. But
he's not somebody we're paying and he's not punking us.
I've trust me. It's his version of Ham Radio, big
(27:27):
antenna on his roof, and he's reaching out to everybody
around the country. Yeah, he's in his own little world
and it's he's on the Internet and he's able to
call our show. He's a He was a correspondent on
the Big JAB in Maine in Portland, Maine, I think
the PM JAB, but I mean it was the AM JAB.
(27:47):
One of the more either the AM or the PM
show they had him on. And he's my favorite is
when he contacts Australian news anchors like he somehow tracked
them down. So it's weird because he's he's got some
mental issues, but he's able to find these these broadcasters
and and so in some parts of his his mind, Okay,
he's a savant when it comes to investigative reporting. He
(28:11):
is the man that broke the Titanic, that the Titanic
could hit the iceberg. Nobody else had reported that as
breaking news. I heard that that morning breaking news sounder
the Titanic sunk. He hasn't fallen for that ruse much anymore. So.
I think he has figured out that when somebody sends
him a breaking news story, you might want to double
(28:33):
check it. You might want to check into a little more,
all right. Next up on the you know what You've got?
Mail mail back, Mr Luciano from Southgate and Sokel says,
this question is for Ben and Danny. G Are you
guys exciting that the NFL is almost back? And how
much betting, if any? Will you guys do? Keep up
(28:54):
the great work, guys. Well, we hope to have on
some platform Benny versus the Penny to be back. So
we'll pick every game against the spread as far as
the games were actually gonna bet, I'm gonna I'm gonna
pick my spots as I usually do. I don't bet
every game. You shouldn't bet every game. But if I
got a pretty good vibe on a team or a
(29:15):
player that going into a game, I will obviously bet it,
but I usually only bet. I try to bet three
games a weekend, sometimes five, but I try to keep
it to three and if perfect scenario would be only
one and just let it roll. If you have, really
it's it's hard enough to win one game, and then
you gotta win two out of three, or three out
(29:36):
of five or four out of seven, or if you
do a parlay, you gotta win them all, which is
a pain in thee or a teaser pains. But yeah,
we're obviously excited. Mr. You knew we're excited. Man. I
saw a video the other day of Car throwing a
long past two Adams in double coverage and him snatching it,
(29:57):
and I stood up Ben and celebrated as if it
was a tough down in the regular season. Now, are
you gonna make the pilgrimage to Vegas for Are they
having any opening, any open practices at that massive air
hanger radar facility that I drove by last time I
was in Vague. That's a good question. I've been so
busy between the network and school that no, I haven't
(30:20):
even looked into it. The prices are astronomical, Like Disneyland.
I did the stadium tour, but I haven't been there
for a game yet, So I'm gonna try to go
this season for one game. Now, is it a regular
season game or an exhibition? Which one are you? I
would rather go to a meaningful game like in in
the middle of the season or down the stretch. I
(30:43):
would rather go sometime in November or December, all right,
So I'm looking at the secondary market. I just punched
it up on my computer here in the studio, and
I have are you sitting down? Are you YEA? Which
game were you thinking of? Should I just go through
all the games? Or you want me to pick one
or two that you're thinking about. I go towards the
(31:04):
middle of the season, so you're looking like October November
something like seven, the week twelve, all right, So after
the bye week, so the Raiders will be rested. They
have their bye week. In week six, the Raiders will
play the Houston Texas. Now the Texans are a dog
food team. That game will cost you their tickets as
(31:26):
low if you want to sit near the purly gates
for a hundred and fifty two dollars okay with an
oxygen mask voll setor the Indianapolis Colts will visit November.
That's week ten. Oh, that's gonna be pricey. It's a
hundred and seventy one bucks for the cheaper that's not
(31:50):
too bad, I guess. But for something good. What's a
good ticket costs for that? Oh boy, lower bowl right
at the fifty yard line behind the Colts bench. Yeah,
that's gonna cost you minimum one thousand and fifty three dollars.
Now all I say now in the end zone is
(32:10):
still expensive. Section one oh one at Allegian Stadium three
hundred eleven dollars, still very pricey. But you are in
the lower bowl, so that would be six plus for
a pair. Yeah. Yeah, there's a reason they made the
most money off of tickets last season. Oh yeah, and
(32:31):
that's a destination situation. People are dying Jones. And again,
let's see the the cheapest ticket. Where is the cheapest Wow,
this is this compelling podcasting. The cheapest ticket is at
the hotel across the street with the binoculars. The funny
thing about that, the cheapest I'm looking at all the
games for the Raiders, the cheapest ticket. This is surprising
(32:54):
to me. Well, no, no, it's not. That makes sense
raiders stealers in pits Burg. But the reason it's the
cheapest ticket it's Christmas Eve, Saturday, December Christmas Eve is
the people are busy with family dollar ticket, so you
(33:14):
could probably fly to pitch. It would be cheaper to
fly to Pittsburgh and see that game and fly back home.
You are damn right. I went down a rabbit hole.
Here's what happened. Uh, next time we all watched you
go on YouTube. I know, I know, I'm like, what
is what the hell is? This falls fan Jimmy Wrights
(33:36):
and from Big Orange Country. He says for both of you,
in your opinion, why is college football so much more
popular in the South then on the West coast? Myself,
I would walk to Knoxville. I would rather walk to
Knoxville than drive to Nashville. Who is your favorite college
football team? Well, it's it's just really a product of
(33:57):
the way I read that college football is. Popularity in
the South is provincial, and people in the West are
There's a lot of transient people that have moved from
other parts and so they might like college football, but
they're fans of whatever school they came from. And in
the South, I just feel like, it's more people that
(34:18):
are that are locked in and loaded, that are from
their generations of families and things like that, and they
grew up fans of Alabama or Auburn, Georgia, L s U,
whoever it might be, and just just keep it going. Uh, Danny,
any theory on the love of college football in the South,
I would tend to agree with what you just said,
(34:40):
because like Clay Travis, for instance, his grandfather played for Tennessee.
And you hear that a lot a lot of guys
that I met when I visited Tennessee, their family history
runs deep like that with whatever school, whether it be
Auburn or Tennessee, they have family ties. I don't have
that here in California. My family spread out. One person
(35:03):
went to Santa Cruz, one person went to U C. Davis,
one person went to school in the o C. It's
so spread out for us here that we just don't
have that family tie the way people do in the South. Yeah.
Now that being said, if U C. L A and
USC both have good football teams, it's popping at the
colisseum of the Rose Bowl for sure. When's the last
(35:26):
time that happened where they both had good Bush Bush.
It's been a long time. When USC was going off
with Liner and Bush, I remember people crowding the sports
bars here. Oh, it was massive I at that time,
and I I was around those USC teams when Pete
Carroll was there and I was in an elevator, was
(35:46):
Spike Lee and Rick Fox who was still playing at
the time. They were in the end, and I want
to point out Spike Lee looked at me like he
thought I was gonna mug him and kill him. And
when the when the elevator doors ows, there's a thing
when you're a celebrity you don't like being in an
elevator with other strangers. And he Spike Lee. I can
(36:06):
still close my eyes on the look that he gave
me in the elevator at the Polissey And before they
renovated it, you thought you were debot from Friday. Why
are you in here my bike? You're not supposed to
be an area and all that stuff. Carlos in Bang
Bang Houston says, hey, Ben, good job in installing the
Mallard riddle into the show. I love hearing the funny
(36:29):
answers from the Mallem militia. Also, I'm an Astros fan,
and I enjoy listening to you every day. So you
can't really say the Astros fans don't like well, I
could say that Carls. I can say that not all
Astro fans dislike me, but many do, and it's still
(36:51):
blows me away. We were on seven ninety in Houston,
which is the Astros radio station. So every once in
a while, all of the stars will aligned Danny and
Astro Talk will end and my show will come on,
our show will come on, and I will be in
the middle of the rant the cheating astro's and did
(37:11):
you have it take? Did you get to go rail
on Jose Altuve conveniently being hit by a pitch so
that he didn't have to come here to the All
Star Game in l A. Yeah, that's now two years
in a row, I believe it is. And because in
he there was no All Star Game, so at least
three years he's avoided the All Star Game. But this
was the big one in in l A. And and
(37:33):
the only cheating Astro that was there was Joe Musgrave
or Musgrove rather the Padres. But that doesn't people. Once
you change the laundry, they kind of forget about forever,
Jose Altuve will be booed, correct, Bregman, George Springer and
Toronto should be booed everywhere he goes all those cats. Uh,
(37:54):
Carlos says, My question is, do you guys like the
flat build hats or the curved build hats? Keep up
the great work. And so I'm a curve guy. I
like much like my women, I like curves. I'm a
fan of the curves. And uh, what about I'm looking
at the hat you're wearing. You appear to be team curve. Also,
(38:15):
this was a hybrid, and I kind of like those
the ones that are a cross between the flat and
the curve. They're not quite curved down all the way.
Those those ones that are curved down too much, I'm
not a fan of. And most of the totally flat
bills don't look right on your head because they'll pop up,
they'll do a wheelie. Yeah, I do not like the
(38:35):
flat build hats. Could I agree with you? Look you
look like a dork. You know, you hard It's hard
to look good in those kind of hats. So, but
I'm I'm team curved hat all the way. Next up
is Paul from Great Falls. He writes in on the
mail bag, I got mail, yeah, I got mail. Yeah.
(39:00):
Allsos who will be the next Pack twelve team to
ditch their conference? And which conference will they join? So
I'm gonna vote Big ten. I believe the Big ten
comes back and starts poaching some more teams from the
the Pack twelve. And if I was a betting man,
which i am, I would look to northern California. You
(39:22):
you go by the media market, it's all about eyeballs,
It's all about qum, as we say in the radio business.
And so San Francisco, Stanford the private school, Cal the
state school, and get that market covered. Although Stanford has
been good at football that last couple of years, I
(39:43):
feel like that that program has gone the wrong direction.
But they were very good for a number of years.
Cal hasn't been good more than a couple of years
my entire life at football. But it's the market. But
if you if you're just going by raw power, you'd say,
if they could skip Cal goes Stanford and then the
Oregon football program because of the Nike money, yeah that
(40:06):
would be one. But what do you think, Danny about
teams that are gonna ditch the Pack twelve for another conference. Uh.
I don't know about ditching that conference, but I think
the next major move that will rock the world will
be Notre Dame finally picking aside. Well, they gotta go
big ten though, right, That's what I would assume, And
(40:26):
if Notre Dame went Big ten, then talk about a
super conference that would end the USC Notre Dame thing
every year anyway, though they wouldn't be able to hear
from in the same conference unless they just said, screw it,
We'll make up our own rules as we go. They
would have to do that, right, because at that point
they throw everything out the window. Yeah. God, that that
(40:47):
would be. That would be something touchdown. Jesus would be
very unhappy with that. I think it would be bed
Lum speaking of a bar area is Steve in San
Francisco Rights, and he says, did you see this story
been about the lockness monster. I want to know your
thoughts that you and Danny g Yeah, this was the
(41:08):
story the other day, Danny we mentioned it briefly on
the show. I guess Steve was not listening that scientists
now are saying the existence of the lock nest monster
is plausible because they found some fossils that they believe
indicate that that is a thing. So yeah, but that's
(41:29):
one of those things. I grew up when I was
a kid with the Lockness Monster, and then I learned
later on, although there's no such thing as the Lockness
Monster bogus. So yeah, I think why not? People have
seen that thing for years? I think that in Bigfoot,
let's let's have all these things be real. Yeah, why
couldn't the Lockness Monster be a leftover dinosaur? Your tortoises
(41:52):
on Earth that have been alive for hundred and eighty
five years? The Yeah, the blue whale? Right, how long
has the blue whale been around? So it's not outside
of the realm of possibility that there could be some
sort of dinosaur like that left on earth. Yeah, Maddie
in Boston writes, and he says, hey, Benn and Danny Gee,
(42:12):
any chance you guys can bring the animal Thunderdome? Is
that what you called it? Annimal Thunderdome? Oh? If he
wants to, he wants to have that on this show.
He said, well, actually, I heart our bosses have been
working on making that a podcast for months and months
and months and months. Oh is that are you gonna
hosting if it happens. Yeah, it is something that they've
(42:34):
been trying to put together behind the scenes. Now, can
you find enough animal stories every week? Shockingly yes, because
there's a lot of stupid people that do a lot
of stupid things around animals. I still have listeners tweet
animal stories to me weekly, so there are some weeks
(42:55):
that are, you know, busier than others. But yeah, we
used to do that on OutKick the Coverage once a
week and there were plenty of stories. Yeah, Maddie says
he he sent a link here to a story about
I guess in South Africa there were some lions that
ate a crocodile, a pack of pride of lions attack.
(43:15):
I saw that. I saw that. Yeah, there was that
elderly lady recently who fell into the water and a
guy jumped in trying to save her and the alligator
eight or oh oh yeah, and what a way to
go right alligator food? Yeah, that's man, like, how long
are you alive while it's eating you? That's got a
(43:37):
shitty way to die. Well, you're feeling pain and then that,
yet you're feeling nothing after a while. Man, that's nuts.
I think we'll get out of there. On that note,
that wonderful note. Well, animals choke out? Could you choke
out a crocodile bed if one came after you? No?
I always thought you had to run in a zigzag
(43:59):
line because they can't can't deal with the zig zag
They get off balance. Yeah, it's hard for them to
shift their body that quickly. If it was right up
in your face, though, would you just give it a
good sock? And its nose? I guess it's not a nose.
What is it? I don't know what is that called?
Is it a snout? What is that on a crocodile?
The snout the mouth? I don't know. I call a
(44:21):
snout with sharp te Imagine how shocked the crocodile is
though when the lion eats it, Because the crocodile must
think it's invincible, and then it gets eaten by the lion.
And then that's what they call it. The king of
the jungle. What they call it the king? All right,
we'll get out of here. I think you have a
great rest your Sunday. What are you going on here, Danny?
(44:42):
G anything to promote it is Sunday, So gonna have
some fun with Covino and Rich on the air this afternoon,
and then right before your show it is Chris Plank
and Arnie Spaniard and I will be in the God
Willing I will be back in the amazing radio station
and all that. So it's it's not really so, it's
(45:03):
not really, it's just uh, just exactly. It's a second thing.
I mean, great, rest your Sunday. I'll hopefully talk to
you tonight eleven pm in the West, two am Monday
morning in the East on my show, and Dani will
be in many many hours before that, and we'll catch
you then later. Skater population
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and
welcome into a special addition of the Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny G Radio. As we have returned
(00:44):
to the podcast, do Joe and we are ready for
what I look forward to every week. Now. I'm not sure,
like what podcast gets the most downloads. Is it the
Friday one with the interview? Is it The Saturday Life
of Mallard and Danny G? Or is it the mail Bag?
As you know, Danny, I just keep my head down
(01:07):
and keep marching on, hoping that the audience is there.
And you know, it's it's an odd thing that the Mailbag.
I like it because I don't really know what we're
gonna get on. The Mailbag literally is a mixed bag.
I've told you before. One of my favorite segments working
with you on the live show. Was asked Ben, because
(01:27):
I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what
questions we're gonna come up. And then we would learn
something new about you and everybody on the crew. And
most of the time it was something humorous that we'd
all be laughing about later. Well, it might be romantic
or you know, and that's so sweet and hopefully not romantic.
Nobody wants to hear about that. That's true, That's definitely true.
(01:51):
You can tell some story about how you save somebody
out of a burning car and the crowd went wild.
Would you run towards a burning car to help somebody?
You know? You don't know until you're in the moment.
I would like to think I would, depending on the
level of fire. Depending on the level of fire, yeah,
like smoke and you maybe you could see just a
(02:14):
little bit of flames starting by the engine. Yea, in
my head. I think we all have this and like
the cartoon bubble in our heads. Were the hero, right,
we run over just in the nick of time, We
pull the person out of the car, we get away,
and then when we get like thirty steps away, kaboom,
the thing explodes and and then we wake up and
(02:37):
we realize that's actually not what happened, that none of that,
none of that took place, and boom goes to dynamite.
All right, let's get to the mail bag. It's all right.
(03:04):
The first question on the mailbag comes from Kevin in Kansas.
He says, Dear Ben and Danny G. You both have
odd sleep schedules. What's the longest you've gone without sleep
and how un normal were you during that span or
did you actually function decently? That is from Kevin, our
(03:27):
buddy in Kansas who is a fellow teacher Danny G.
And So I trying to think the longest way, I
think it might have actually been when I had my
gall bladder issues because I couldn't sleep. I was so
uncomfortable that it was a nightmare. Uh So that might
have been it. Outside of that, when I was doing
(03:49):
that television stuff at NBC and I was traveling and
I had to get off the plane and immediately work.
But the problem I have is I sound like I'm drunk.
I start luring my words, which is when you're in
the business I'm in and you're in, Danny, that becomes problematic.
Except a lot of our favorite Mallard Militia members sound
(04:11):
that way. That is true, Yeah, you just sound like
the leader. Yeah. But as far as the number of
hours I without doing any kind of pharmaceuticals like Jet
who fled that some of the other people that call
the show, I would say, I've probably stayed up maybe
three days. I think is the is about the limit
(04:33):
on that. I've definitely done two days a lot where
I've gone over forty right around forty eight hours where
I have gone without sleep. So I've done that. But
I'm getting older now, Danny, we're both getting older. I
don't know how much that I can do anymore. I
need at least a few hours. I'm not a good sleeper,
but it's at least a few There were some nights
where I had to do the intricate parts of some projects. Now,
(04:57):
mind you, that's sixty kids, sixty different projects. So I
had the hot glue gun out here at home, and
I had like an assembly line on my kitchen table encounters.
I literally was up all night working on it, and
then showered, went to work, stayed up working all day,
(05:17):
got home. I love science. You know, I guess that's
doable because you don't sleep, You're up for two days whatever.
But when I first started the podcast with you and
I was moving here to where I'm at now, Ben,
there was a three day span where I was moving,
working at the network, working at the school, and I
(05:37):
literally did not sleep for three straight days. It was
just work, this shift, double shift, this move. And I
remember being in my old place in Burbank with my
eyes just bugged out. I've never done drugs like cocaine
or anything like that, but that would have been the
time to start. I remember thinking to myself, how did
(06:03):
people do this back in the eighties, you know, where
they just worked around the clock and they never slept.
And then it occurred to me they did not do
it on their own. They didn't do it sober. Oh yeah,
I've heard stories about people we I think we know
some of the people who have done television in l
A who were skiing the mountains even when there was
(06:27):
no snow on the mountains. They were they were riding
the white Horse. Yes, yes, exactly, exactly so uh yeah,
But I've never done that stuff either. I mean, people
get blown away. I've I've talked about this also in
the past, but I I've never had a cup of coffee,
and I can't have it at this point because that
is my claim to fame, that is my conversation starter.
(06:50):
I have crossed the rubicon of age where I can
no longer discuss uh even having a cup of coffee
because it's off the table. And sushi, right, I've never
had sushi either, That is correct. I've never see. The
sushi part is amazing to me. The coffee, I kind
of get it because I don't exactly like the smell
(07:10):
of black coffee. Um, you know, I need like a
lot of creamer, I need a lot of sugar, I
need milk added. So I like the cold coffee. I
would drink a cold latte way before I would drink
any sort of hot coffee. So I kind of can
understand that. But never having sushi and you live in
(07:30):
southern California, that's just weird. I'm obviously weird. I'm in radio.
You know that you're not even a California roll. See,
that's like sushi par beginners. No, I've never. I've never.
I don't like fish. If I don't like fish when
it's cooked, why am I gonna eat sushi when it's not?
(07:51):
When it's not cooked. We forgot, by the way, to
mention our buddy ohio Aw. We thank ohio Aw. I
just kind of slid it. We slid into that without
giving him the proper credit. It's a bad job by us.
But Ohio aw came up with the the jingle great Ohio.
All the mail continues, it does not end. I got
mail yea, I got mail yea. The air from East
(08:16):
of the Rockies rights and he says, I am writing
in on the wild card line. He says, uh, I
like that. Three quick questions, Hey, why did you save
your bone breaking adventures for the Mallard Town podcast and
not your own? And he says, credit to the Aussie
(08:37):
guy for breaking the news. That's a great question, Pierre.
I don't know why that that ended up that way.
I never I never spent too much time, uh worried
about him. I just kind of, like I told, I
told the story with him, and I guess it just
didn't come up on the podcast. That's a bad job
by me. He also says, can you share the cautionary
(08:58):
tale of Ernie the Great oh Piner for the listeners.
He says he wants to know the details. Ernie was
you were on the show when Ernie was part of
the show, right, Danny there, and Ernie was a big,
big part of what we were doing and all that,
and he quit the show like he was like a
major contributor in the show. And Ernie was a great
(09:19):
fan of the show. And we had the Muppet remember
the Muppets account and and and actually Pierre is alf
the alien o Pineer and he was one of the
guys that started that. And Ernie was getting so upset
because he had Ernie from Burton Ernie as his avatar,
and he was so annoyed by all these other Muppet accounts.
(09:39):
It was hilarious, it was. But and that's part of
the reason he went away. Uh, And I don't I
don't think we're gonna hear from Ernie again. Unfortunately, I
think nothing. He's dead. I think he's moved on. But
it sucks if somebody quits your live show, it's almost
like a death. Yeah, these are people that are part
of our family. I agree with you. It's a weird
(10:00):
thing when they get traded, like like Chris and Houston,
who was like a nemesis from Houston. Chris, but he
doesn't call anymore because he's on the dreaded day shift.
He's sold out for the day shift, and yah, you
miss him. You're like like, once in a while, I'd
like to have a nice conversation with Chris so I
could bust his balls about the Astros, the cheating as astros.
(10:23):
Uh and Pierre also says, is Fullerton west of the
four oh five? Asking for a friend, he says, uh no,
uh no, no, no, it is west Uh it's actually
east of the five, although I think the five goes
through part of Fullerton west of Fashion Island. Yes, yes,
(10:44):
that is uh let's it's not anyway, I thank you
for that. Next up, Ironically enough, I don't know how
this worked out. Come back, pay a touch. It's time
from now. I'll call Mike from Fullerton rights and he says,
has USC and U c l A joining the Big
Ten made you feel any different now that southern California
(11:06):
is part of the Big ten country. It took me
a while to adjust, but I'm really starting to appreciate
these Midwestern values since Mike from Fullerton. Yeah, when I
was driving through Westwood this week to get to the
Fox Sports radio studios, I was I took the dreaded
four oh five to get over the hill and through
(11:28):
bel air and all that nonsense. And so I'm driving
and I'm looking at the u c l A Campus.
I'm like, wow, I can't believe they get snow here.
That's what it's gonna be wild. It's absolutely crazy. And
I wonder what the U c A Hockey team is
gonna be And when they take on Wisconsin in Michigan,
it's it's gonna be cool, right man. Uh. And then
(11:49):
Mike also says he's adding a few more to his
interview wish list, and he's got Ralph Lawler, Don McLean,
Jose Mode uh, and Donald Trump. He says Danny g
has his number, and he says last, but certainly least
Brian Finley's on the list. So out of that list,
(12:11):
not that we do list podcasting, but Ralph Lawler I
believe will be on the podcast at some point. I'm
friends with Ralph. He's retired now, he's he spend part
of his time in Oregon, part of his time in Florida.
But the reason I believe he'll come on the podcast,
Danny he's got a book. Yeah, the books coming out,
(12:32):
so he'll be on the pimp his book, and I
actually want to read the book. He's gonna tell Sterling stories,
stories about Donald Sterling, his time with the Clippers, obviously
his life. And so hopefully we'll get him on at
some point. I know, I know all these guys except Trumps,
Don McClean I know from the Petrols and Money Show,
(12:55):
and Don I when he played in the NBA years
ago and all that. He's been around forever, So hopefully
we get him on. And Jose Moda known known Jose
for for many many years. Also casually, you know we're
not best friends. Then would this be a good time
to vent for a minute about Brian Billick? Is it now?
Can we officially put the cover of the coffin down
(13:20):
and say that's it? We're done? Are we at that point? Though?
I would like to because on a previous podcast we
joked around, because we jumped through all these hoops with
Brian Billick and his representative to get him on as
a guest on the podcast Brian bill Brian Billick, they
said yes to the interview, and then through email only,
(13:42):
they would not give me cell phone numbers except we
had one cell phone number. Remember that said this isn't
Brian's phone anymore. Oh that's right, yes, yes, And I
got that number from somebody who that was the number
that was Brian Billick pretended like his cell phone number
wasn't his cell phone number. And in that text message,
(14:05):
which was very odd, he said, Brian Billick doesn't use
this cell phone anymore. You need to get ahold of
his rep. And he gave the reps name and I'm like, well,
if Brian doesn't use this phone anymore, how would this
person know who Brian Billicks rep is. So I'm like, okay, whatever,
I'll play your stupid game. Brian Billick. I've been emailing
(14:27):
back and forth with his rep. This is just amazing
to me because back and forth, I'm talking ten emails. Ben,
he doesn't come on the podcast. So you and I
were like whatever, Brian Billick. I even I have a
funny drop from that podcast because you're like Brian Billick,
Brian Billick, Brian bill Brian Billick. And it's just funny
(14:50):
to hear your voice cracking because you're so piste off
about dumb ass Brian Billy. Well, fast forward to Monday,
I get email from the rep saying hey, Danny, it's
been a while. I know you guys really wanted to
have Brian on the show Good News. He's doing media
tomorrow all day Tuesday. He's gonna go on TV and radio.
(15:15):
So give me the time for Ben and we'll make
it happen. I promise. And I'm like, well that's nice.
I mean, you know, it was a ship show last
time trying to work with this guy. But he's trying
to make it up to us. So I text you.
I'm like, hey, Ben, what's your window? When can we
take this guy? Yeah? I gave you two windows, right,
do it a morning window in an afternoon window to
(15:38):
completely f up my day for the podcast. Talk to
Brian Billick, who is not coached in the NFL and
over a decade. I immediately send this information back to
him via email and I'm like, dude, we look forward
to it. Here are the two windows. Let me know
what works for Brian. Got crickets, that's all we got.
(16:03):
Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick
tick tick. Nothing nothing back, nothing back, nothing back. I'm
checking my email all day now. I'm interrupting my school
job by trying to slightly check my email in between
lesson plans and teaching these kids in the classroom. I'm like, all,
are you guys cutting paste over there? I gotta check
(16:24):
my email. So I'm checking my email. Nothing from this guy.
Nothing back. Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick. Day goes,
day goes, nothing back. So that night I email him
again and I'm like, dude, it's almost Tuesday. When are
we gonna say? I wake up Ben? I set my
alarm for Tuesday morning. I set it for four am,
(16:45):
five am, and six am. That way I don't miss
any communication with this guy. I get one email from
him Tuesday morning at five a m r. Time, and
it said what time does Ben wanted to hype again?
And and mind you Danny. In the afternoon, I'm texting
(17:08):
my friend in Baltimore because he knows Billick and he's
one of the people whatever so we're friends, and and
he's like, hey, I heard Billocks on one of the
stations in Baltimore right now doing an interview. You know, like,
wait a minute, this is one of the windows that
I had given Danny and Billicks red interview. And then
(17:30):
he popped up on a station in Denver like he
did a bunch of like radio stuff and a few
podcast things. But we were on the list and we
didn't make the lid. What was that? Hi? I like
the saint. That's that's fine, that's it. And next time
and they need something to promote, I'll remember this, al right.
Next time they had some crappy product they want to
(17:52):
promote or whatever, some gambling thing, I'll remember. All right,
I'm moving on as we continue. You always exciting a
fifth hour mail bag? Who is next here? All right?
We have Neil from the real Miami, he says, A
(18:13):
three hour long but scenic drive from Hemingway's Key West
a great place for the Miami chapter of the Mallard
Militia to meet up. You can fly over to Miami
or Fort Lauderdale twenty minutes away Gascon and Lawrence the
Lawyer ak marlins Man can pick you up in a
(18:34):
stretch Limo and we can swing by to get weed man,
hippie and cantankerous COVID couple from pombay Uh And on
the way to Key West, what do you say? Yeah, well,
you name pretty much all the listeners, although we did
have that that guy the dick from from Miami. Then
(18:54):
I love you? Who calls up every once in a while.
He hasn't called up in a while. That would be
great fun. I'd love to do it. I've I've been
to Miami at once in my life. I was there
for like a week years ago for a World Series
and I've not been back, so that would be That
would be great. And uh, I've friends that have moved there,
(19:16):
and I know a lot of people in Florida. Over
the last three years, a lot of people left California.
Many of them have gone not just to Miami, but
Orlando and you name it, the Gulf Coast region where
the what they call the redneck rivieria, I believe is
the term some friends that are there. Uh. Neil also
says pro tip for you and the Mallard militia. Best
(19:38):
time to go to Miami is the end of the
hurricane season, which is from Halloween when they have a
Freaky Fantasy Fest and then followed by festival after festival,
including some food festivals like seafood so you can pick
your own poison. That's great advice. Yeah, And that's a
(20:00):
good time to go anyway, because the weather in Miami
is always pretty much the same. It doesn't really get
that cold doesn't get that hot. It's always kind of
the same around the same temperature. So if you go
there in October, I maybe wait till November, right because
it gets a little colder in November. Where we are,
it doesn't get all that cold. So thanks for the information, Neil.
(20:21):
And if I do end up having another one of
my friends relocate to Miami, I guess I'm gonna have
to go back to Miami. And sounds to me like
there will be more people I know moving to Miami. Miami, Miami.
You've got mail Tony in Seattle, write s this is
somewhat related, he says. The next place you'd like to travel?
(20:44):
Yes with Mrs Mallard and Mrs TINDERNI So any road trips?
I know you You mentioned your car issues here, Danny,
so she won't be going on any car trips. But
any any exotic locations that you'd like to visit. No,
nothing exotic. We're actually gonna try to go to Disneyland
(21:06):
next week. That's tost of going somewhere exotic. Are you
gonna start robbing banks on the way? Um? I do
have a few week days off in between this summer
school job ending and the next school semester starting. That's
gonna be nice to have a couple of week days off.
Just gonna try to stay close by in southern California. No,
(21:28):
nothing long distance until November. A stay cation. Yeah, of course.
We got Maui coming up in November. That's that's the
big one. That's the big one. So we're saving. We're
in that mode right now where we're like, get the
one that's on sale. I hear you. Yeah, as far
as me, Tony. Actually, I would like to get to
(21:51):
the Pacific Northwest again, a lot of Portland. My wife's
got a friend in Portland and we were talking about
going up there and visiting her and her kid and
all that. Uh. And I want to get back to Minnesota.
I was so close in Wisconsin, and I learned that
people from Minnesota do not cross the Wisconsin Minnesota border.
It's a point of demarcation. It's apparently the people in
(22:13):
Wisconsin hate the people in Minnesota and vice versa. They
think the other state is like a demilitarized zone. So
I had a meet and greet in Appleton, and we
had all these listeners in Minnesota like, oh yeah, I'm
gonna drive over it's a long drive, but I want
to meet you. And then nobody showed up from Minnesota,
but I we we do so well there on the
radio show. I really would love to meet a bunch
(22:35):
of the big fans of the show that listen on
on CAFAN. One of the great sports talkers in the country,
and it's very cool that they carry the overnight show.
So I'd love to go in there and go to
some juicy lucy place. And if you're one of our
p ones and you know a restaurant in Minnesota, like
the reason I picked a Latin Fusion restaurant in Appleton
(22:58):
because I was a friend of the family and so
I it's much easier to do these things if you
end up knowing someone or you have somebody's a fan
of the show at the restaurant. Uh. There has been
some talk of a Mallard meet and greet sometime in
August at a I cannot reveal the location yet, that's
not finalized, so I don't want to say anything about
(23:18):
it to jinx it Um. But to answer your question again,
Tony Minnesota, possibly Portland's and that's that's about it. But
whether I get to any of those places I can't
can't say, what do you like? Burn it down? Like Bakersfield?
How dare you that stadium still there although it should
(23:38):
be burnt down? I will say that Chris and Marracoca
to Iowa, Right, since it's you and Danny G should
start watching a TV series together and you can discuss
the weekly episode on the pod. Yeah. I don't know
that I have enough time, neither to you Danny, with
our crazy schedules to dedicate every week to watch an episode.
(23:59):
But from I'm the time I I did this with
with Gascon back in the day west of the four
oh five, where if there was a cool documentary or something,
and we could both watch it and give our like
book report or movie review like Siskel and Ebert, there's
an outdated reference thumbs up or thumbs down, you know,
on the on the documentary. Have you been watching the
(24:20):
Jeter documentary? God? No, I'm not a Yankee fan, and
I I don't want to overdose on athlete worship, so
I've not I've not checked it out. I have heard,
I've heard some things. The Yankee fans, of course love it.
They think it's the greatest thing ever. But I'm not
a Yankees fan by any means, But I like it.
But I like most sports documentaries. Yeah, like I'm I'm
(24:43):
hit and miss on the sports documentary thing, like some
of them. I love the one about the baseball cards.
I thought was fascinating. But I'm on the age of
where I grew up in that world, so I see that.
I'm like, oh, man, well I was. I was a
Mark and they took advantage of me as a kid.
Rat bastards. Me and my older brother. Man, I've told
(25:06):
you before paper Chase, our goal in life was to
get some little bit of coin and get our butts
to paper Chase to buy some more plastic sheets. Oh yeah,
I got a whole wing filled with cards and I
still have to get rid of. But a part of
me's like, no, it's nostalgia. But then the other part
of me is taking up space. I gotta get rid
of this stuff. What a pain in the behind. That was?
(25:31):
All right, let's keep it going on the mailbag. Next
up is Mark. He says, how did Marcel completely fool you? Ben?
That dude is the biggest fake ever. Ben. He's making
you look really weird, Ben? Is that really him? On Twitter? Yeah? Yeah,
that's Marcel. I didn't know he was black, not to
(25:56):
sound like that famous Ben Mallard drop. Famous man. I
don't know if you know this, but I'm black. That's right. That.
Oh that was the guy that sounded like Bill Cosby.
I used to Arizona have that drop in my hard drive. Here.
Hey man, you might not notice, but I'm black. Yeah.
He just readily starts and it was hilarious. Marcel is
(26:21):
African American, and uh, all these people think we're getting punked.
And he's a character. And this is another one of
those cases where Danny people seem to think we have
a much bigger budget than we do and that we're
much more creative than we are. Neither one of those
things is true, because Marcel is a kid who lives
(26:42):
in the projects in Brooklyn. I've said it before. We'll
say it again for those of you that haven't heard.
Marcel's got issues. He's got problems. He loves the radio.
It's his outlet to the world. He doesn't get out
of his home, he doesn't see the world. He's stuck
in this little apartment in Brooklyn, and Uncle Dynamite comes
by and gives him food and and so there's only
(27:05):
a couple of things he eats. But Marcel, for him,
this is like the greatest thing in the world that
he gets to be on the radio. And he likes
being a character. From what I can tell, he likes
being a character on the show, and he likes to
play along with us and all that and so. But
he's not somebody we're paying and he's not punking us.
I've trust me. It's his version of Ham Radio, big
(27:27):
antenna on his roof, and he's reaching out to everybody
around the country. Yeah, he's in his own little world
and it's he's on the Internet and he's able to
call our show. He's a He was a correspondent on
the Big JAB in Maine in Portland, Maine, I think
the PM JAB, but I mean it was the AM JAB.
(27:47):
One of the more either the AM or the PM
show they had him on. And he's my favorite is
when he contacts Australian news anchors like he somehow tracked
them down. So it's weird because he's he's got some
mental issues, but he's able to find these these broadcasters
and and so in some parts of his his mind, Okay,
he's a savant when it comes to investigative reporting. He
(28:11):
is the man that broke the Titanic, that the Titanic
could hit the iceberg. Nobody else had reported that as
breaking news. I heard that that morning breaking news sounder
the Titanic sunk. He hasn't fallen for that ruse much anymore. So.
I think he has figured out that when somebody sends
him a breaking news story, you might want to double
(28:33):
check it. You might want to check into a little more,
all right. Next up on the you know what You've got?
Mail mail back, Mr Luciano from Southgate and Sokel says,
this question is for Ben and Danny. G Are you
guys exciting that the NFL is almost back? And how
much betting, if any? Will you guys do? Keep up
(28:54):
the great work, guys. Well, we hope to have on
some platform Benny versus the Penny to be back. So
we'll pick every game against the spread as far as
the games were actually gonna bet, I'm gonna I'm gonna
pick my spots as I usually do. I don't bet
every game. You shouldn't bet every game. But if I
got a pretty good vibe on a team or a
(29:15):
player that going into a game, I will obviously bet it,
but I usually only bet. I try to bet three
games a weekend, sometimes five, but I try to keep
it to three and if perfect scenario would be only
one and just let it roll. If you have, really
it's it's hard enough to win one game, and then
you gotta win two out of three, or three out
(29:36):
of five or four out of seven, or if you
do a parlay, you gotta win them all, which is
a pain in thee or a teaser pains. But yeah,
we're obviously excited. Mr. You knew we're excited. Man. I
saw a video the other day of Car throwing a
long past two Adams in double coverage and him snatching it,
(29:57):
and I stood up Ben and celebrated as if it
was a tough down in the regular season. Now, are
you gonna make the pilgrimage to Vegas for Are they
having any opening, any open practices at that massive air
hanger radar facility that I drove by last time I
was in Vague. That's a good question. I've been so
busy between the network and school that no, I haven't
(30:20):
even looked into it. The prices are astronomical, Like Disneyland.
I did the stadium tour, but I haven't been there
for a game yet, So I'm gonna try to go
this season for one game. Now, is it a regular
season game or an exhibition? Which one are you? I
would rather go to a meaningful game like in in
the middle of the season or down the stretch. I
(30:43):
would rather go sometime in November or December, all right,
So I'm looking at the secondary market. I just punched
it up on my computer here in the studio, and
I have are you sitting down? Are you YEA? Which
game were you thinking of? Should I just go through
all the games? Or you want me to pick one
or two that you're thinking about. I go towards the
(31:04):
middle of the season, so you're looking like October November
something like seven, the week twelve, all right, So after
the bye week, so the Raiders will be rested. They
have their bye week. In week six, the Raiders will
play the Houston Texas. Now the Texans are a dog
food team. That game will cost you their tickets as
(31:26):
low if you want to sit near the purly gates
for a hundred and fifty two dollars okay with an
oxygen mask voll setor the Indianapolis Colts will visit November.
That's week ten. Oh, that's gonna be pricey. It's a
hundred and seventy one bucks for the cheaper that's not
(31:50):
too bad, I guess. But for something good. What's a
good ticket costs for that? Oh boy, lower bowl right
at the fifty yard line behind the Colts bench. Yeah,
that's gonna cost you minimum one thousand and fifty three dollars.
Now all I say now in the end zone is
(32:10):
still expensive. Section one oh one at Allegian Stadium three
hundred eleven dollars, still very pricey. But you are in
the lower bowl, so that would be six plus for
a pair. Yeah. Yeah, there's a reason they made the
most money off of tickets last season. Oh yeah, and
(32:31):
that's a destination situation. People are dying Jones. And again,
let's see the the cheapest ticket. Where is the cheapest Wow,
this is this compelling podcasting. The cheapest ticket is at
the hotel across the street with the binoculars. The funny
thing about that, the cheapest I'm looking at all the
games for the Raiders, the cheapest ticket. This is surprising
(32:54):
to me. Well, no, no, it's not. That makes sense
raiders stealers in pits Burg. But the reason it's the
cheapest ticket it's Christmas Eve, Saturday, December Christmas Eve is
the people are busy with family dollar ticket, so you
(33:14):
could probably fly to pitch. It would be cheaper to
fly to Pittsburgh and see that game and fly back home.
You are damn right. I went down a rabbit hole.
Here's what happened. Uh, next time we all watched you
go on YouTube. I know, I know, I'm like, what
is what the hell is? This falls fan Jimmy Wrights
(33:36):
and from Big Orange Country. He says for both of you,
in your opinion, why is college football so much more
popular in the South then on the West coast? Myself,
I would walk to Knoxville. I would rather walk to
Knoxville than drive to Nashville. Who is your favorite college
football team? Well, it's it's just really a product of
(33:57):
the way I read that college football is. Popularity in
the South is provincial, and people in the West are
There's a lot of transient people that have moved from
other parts and so they might like college football, but
they're fans of whatever school they came from. And in
the South, I just feel like, it's more people that
(34:18):
are that are locked in and loaded, that are from
their generations of families and things like that, and they
grew up fans of Alabama or Auburn, Georgia, L s U,
whoever it might be, and just just keep it going. Uh, Danny,
any theory on the love of college football in the South,
I would tend to agree with what you just said,
(34:40):
because like Clay Travis, for instance, his grandfather played for Tennessee.
And you hear that a lot a lot of guys
that I met when I visited Tennessee, their family history
runs deep like that with whatever school, whether it be
Auburn or Tennessee, they have family ties. I don't have
that here in California. My family spread out. One person
(35:03):
went to Santa Cruz, one person went to U C. Davis,
one person went to school in the o C. It's
so spread out for us here that we just don't
have that family tie the way people do in the South. Yeah.
Now that being said, if U C. L A and
USC both have good football teams, it's popping at the
colisseum of the Rose Bowl for sure. When's the last
(35:26):
time that happened where they both had good Bush Bush.
It's been a long time. When USC was going off
with Liner and Bush, I remember people crowding the sports
bars here. Oh, it was massive I at that time,
and I I was around those USC teams when Pete
Carroll was there and I was in an elevator, was
(35:46):
Spike Lee and Rick Fox who was still playing at
the time. They were in the end, and I want
to point out Spike Lee looked at me like he
thought I was gonna mug him and kill him. And
when the when the elevator doors ows, there's a thing
when you're a celebrity you don't like being in an
elevator with other strangers. And he Spike Lee. I can
(36:06):
still close my eyes on the look that he gave
me in the elevator at the Polissey And before they
renovated it, you thought you were debot from Friday. Why
are you in here my bike? You're not supposed to
be an area and all that stuff. Carlos in Bang
Bang Houston says, hey, Ben, good job in installing the
Mallard riddle into the show. I love hearing the funny
(36:29):
answers from the Mallem militia. Also, I'm an Astros fan,
and I enjoy listening to you every day. So you
can't really say the Astros fans don't like well, I
could say that Carls. I can say that not all
Astro fans dislike me, but many do, and it's still
(36:51):
blows me away. We were on seven ninety in Houston,
which is the Astros radio station. So every once in
a while, all of the stars will aligned Danny and
Astro Talk will end and my show will come on,
our show will come on, and I will be in
the middle of the rant the cheating astro's and did
(37:11):
you have it take? Did you get to go rail
on Jose Altuve conveniently being hit by a pitch so
that he didn't have to come here to the All
Star Game in l A. Yeah, that's now two years
in a row, I believe it is. And because in
he there was no All Star Game, so at least
three years he's avoided the All Star Game. But this
was the big one in in l A. And and
(37:33):
the only cheating Astro that was there was Joe Musgrave
or Musgrove rather the Padres. But that doesn't people. Once
you change the laundry, they kind of forget about forever,
Jose Altuve will be booed, correct, Bregman, George Springer and
Toronto should be booed everywhere he goes all those cats. Uh,
(37:54):
Carlos says, My question is, do you guys like the
flat build hats or the curved build hats? Keep up
the great work. And so I'm a curve guy. I
like much like my women, I like curves. I'm a
fan of the curves. And uh, what about I'm looking
at the hat you're wearing. You appear to be team curve. Also,
(38:15):
this was a hybrid, and I kind of like those
the ones that are a cross between the flat and
the curve. They're not quite curved down all the way.
Those those ones that are curved down too much, I'm
not a fan of. And most of the totally flat
bills don't look right on your head because they'll pop up,
they'll do a wheelie. Yeah, I do not like the
(38:35):
flat build hats. Could I agree with you? Look you
look like a dork. You know, you hard It's hard
to look good in those kind of hats. So, but
I'm I'm team curved hat all the way. Next up
is Paul from Great Falls. He writes in on the
mail bag, I got mail, yeah, I got mail. Yeah.
(39:00):
Allsos who will be the next Pack twelve team to
ditch their conference? And which conference will they join? So
I'm gonna vote Big ten. I believe the Big ten
comes back and starts poaching some more teams from the
the Pack twelve. And if I was a betting man,
which i am, I would look to northern California. You
(39:22):
you go by the media market, it's all about eyeballs,
It's all about qum, as we say in the radio business.
And so San Francisco, Stanford the private school, Cal the
state school, and get that market covered. Although Stanford has
been good at football that last couple of years, I
(39:43):
feel like that that program has gone the wrong direction.
But they were very good for a number of years.
Cal hasn't been good more than a couple of years
my entire life at football. But it's the market. But
if you if you're just going by raw power, you'd say,
if they could skip Cal goes Stanford and then the
Oregon football program because of the Nike money, yeah that
(40:06):
would be one. But what do you think, Danny about
teams that are gonna ditch the Pack twelve for another conference. Uh.
I don't know about ditching that conference, but I think
the next major move that will rock the world will
be Notre Dame finally picking aside. Well, they gotta go
big ten though, right, That's what I would assume, And
(40:26):
if Notre Dame went Big ten, then talk about a
super conference that would end the USC Notre Dame thing
every year anyway, though they wouldn't be able to hear
from in the same conference unless they just said, screw it,
We'll make up our own rules as we go. They
would have to do that, right, because at that point
they throw everything out the window. Yeah. God, that that
(40:47):
would be. That would be something touchdown. Jesus would be
very unhappy with that. I think it would be bed
Lum speaking of a bar area is Steve in San
Francisco Rights, and he says, did you see this story
been about the lockness monster. I want to know your
thoughts that you and Danny g Yeah, this was the
(41:08):
story the other day, Danny we mentioned it briefly on
the show. I guess Steve was not listening that scientists
now are saying the existence of the lock nest monster
is plausible because they found some fossils that they believe
indicate that that is a thing. So yeah, but that's
(41:29):
one of those things. I grew up when I was
a kid with the Lockness Monster, and then I learned
later on, although there's no such thing as the Lockness
Monster bogus. So yeah, I think why not? People have
seen that thing for years? I think that in Bigfoot,
let's let's have all these things be real. Yeah, why
couldn't the Lockness Monster be a leftover dinosaur? Your tortoises
(41:52):
on Earth that have been alive for hundred and eighty
five years? The Yeah, the blue whale? Right, how long
has the blue whale been around? So it's not outside
of the realm of possibility that there could be some
sort of dinosaur like that left on earth. Yeah, Maddie
in Boston writes, and he says, hey, Benn and Danny Gee,
(42:12):
any chance you guys can bring the animal Thunderdome? Is
that what you called it? Annimal Thunderdome? Oh? If he
wants to, he wants to have that on this show.
He said, well, actually, I heart our bosses have been
working on making that a podcast for months and months
and months and months. Oh is that are you gonna
hosting if it happens. Yeah, it is something that they've
(42:34):
been trying to put together behind the scenes. Now, can
you find enough animal stories every week? Shockingly yes, because
there's a lot of stupid people that do a lot
of stupid things around animals. I still have listeners tweet
animal stories to me weekly, so there are some weeks
(42:55):
that are, you know, busier than others. But yeah, we
used to do that on OutKick the Coverage once a
week and there were plenty of stories. Yeah, Maddie says
he he sent a link here to a story about
I guess in South Africa there were some lions that
ate a crocodile, a pack of pride of lions attack.
(43:15):
I saw that. I saw that. Yeah, there was that
elderly lady recently who fell into the water and a
guy jumped in trying to save her and the alligator
eight or oh oh yeah, and what a way to
go right alligator food? Yeah, that's man, like, how long
are you alive while it's eating you? That's got a
(43:37):
shitty way to die. Well, you're feeling pain and then that,
yet you're feeling nothing after a while. Man, that's nuts.
I think we'll get out of there. On that note,
that wonderful note. Well, animals choke out? Could you choke
out a crocodile bed if one came after you? No?
I always thought you had to run in a zigzag
(43:59):
line because they can't can't deal with the zig zag
They get off balance. Yeah, it's hard for them to
shift their body that quickly. If it was right up
in your face, though, would you just give it a
good sock? And its nose? I guess it's not a nose.
What is it? I don't know what is that called?
Is it a snout? What is that on a crocodile?
The snout the mouth? I don't know. I call a
(44:21):
snout with sharp te Imagine how shocked the crocodile is
though when the lion eats it, Because the crocodile must
think it's invincible, and then it gets eaten by the lion.
And then that's what they call it. The king of
the jungle. What they call it the king? All right,
we'll get out of here. I think you have a
great rest your Sunday. What are you going on here, Danny?
(44:42):
G anything to promote it is Sunday, So gonna have
some fun with Covino and Rich on the air this afternoon,
and then right before your show it is Chris Plank
and Arnie Spaniard and I will be in the God
Willing I will be back in the amazing radio station
and all that. So it's it's not really so, it's
(45:03):
not really, it's just uh, just exactly. It's a second thing.
I mean, great, rest your Sunday. I'll hopefully talk to
you tonight eleven pm in the West, two am Monday
morning in the East on my show, and Dani will
be in many many hours before that, and we'll catch
you then later. Skater population
Host
Ben Maller
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