August 20, 2022 • 40 mins
Ben Maller and his 5th Hour partner Danny G. have a fun Saturday broadcast for you, talking Electrician, Who Ya Gonna Call, pump it up, shaking hands and kissing babies, Blackbeard Benny, back scratcher and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere back in
the podcast Jojo, a brand spanking new edition of The
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio. You
are in the air everywhere. We will attempt to not
(00:46):
deliberately sabotage podcast, but Danny back at it. I want
to thank my guy Sports with Coleman, who gave us
an inside look on the Friday podcast about the seed
underbelly of radio. As Yeah, he was laid off from
his gig in Baltimore, and it's good to have him
on and an excuse to talk to him great broadcasters.
(01:09):
Whoever gets him next is a lucky radio station. Upward
and onward, Danny. He was upset that you were not
able to be part of that. He said, where's Danny
g You listen Danny's he's a very busy man. Okay,
can I be bothered to talk to you? And if
he was gonna do one of these Friday podcasts, it
would have been Brent Musburger. It would not have been you.
(01:32):
That kind of thing, right, Yeah, Friday. I get to
do a lot of the booking and the behind the
scenes editing of that podcast. But when it comes to
an interview ban it's one on one. It's like you're
a reporter. Oh, it may tell you. I asked the
deep questions, deep penetrating questions unless I don't no, no, no, no,
(01:53):
not rating is the keyword. I was more concerned about
him giving me a double fish. Wells Uh. There's a
lot of hesitation, there's a lot of shakiness, a lot
of unstudying nous in these interviews, and uh, I usually
end up botching most of them. But nonetheless, so this
being the Saturday podcast, I've got on the menu today
(02:14):
at the bodega, We've got Electrician pump it Up, shaking
hands and kissing babies and black Beard Benny. Now, I'm
going to attempt to not injure myself like our friend
David Vasse, who has been on this podcast, who went viral.
(02:34):
He was all over the place. I was at the gym.
They had on the on Sports Center. They showed my man,
David Vasse attempting to go down a slide and he
was like even a car accident. It was unbelievable. Yeah,
that's the slide that the Milwaukee Brewer's mascot slides down
after a home run. Right. Oh yeah, Bernie Brewer, the
(02:56):
mascot a few nights ago, might drowning and I we
kept watching this video over and over again. We were
dying laughing, just like Joe Davis in the broadcast booth
showed the clip and he could not stop laughing. It
was great, No, it was amazing. You know, I've known David.
He was my producer back in the day when I
(03:18):
was doing local radio in l A, The Ben and
Dave Show, and he's like, you know, he's got kids,
he's all these he gets every once in a while
they throw him a bone. He gets to the dodging
game on TV. So he's up going down the slide.
It's snapped, crackle pop. He broke six He frestured six
ribs and broke his his wrist. If I'm going down
a damn mascot slide. And I've not been to that.
(03:42):
I was. I was in that ballpark when they were
building it, but I was in the old stadium, in
the old stadium. I don't remember the slide in the
old stadium having that kind of angle, but hopefully. Well.
One thing you have to appreciate was Joe Davis and
Nomar cracking up laughing. As the video shows. That's a
riving in pain. These two are cracking up laughing. I've
(04:07):
always appreciated when somebody can laugh through hard times like that. Yeah,
for sure. And he was going, oh crap, oh crap,
like he was nervous, like he he You could tell
he did not feel comfortable. Oh crap, oh crap. Damn. See,
(04:28):
if the Dodgers are smart, they'd have a Vasse bubble
head where he goes down the slide and tumbles Vesse
bubble head night and the bubble head is him with
the cast on his arm. Yes, yes, exactly, what idea.
You gotta give that to the Dodger marketing team. Marketing
team needs to do that, all right. So and now
I was away from my post a few days at
(04:50):
the end of last week, and I did not do
the radio show, was not hanging out on the graveyard shift,
not in the cat bird seat. And I meant this
the other night on the radio show. But the reason
why if you didn't hear it, we had mentioned it
last weekend that because of family in town, I had
(05:11):
my older brother and his family were here, and so
we you know, I don't see him very often. I
see him once or twice a year the most. Uh,
And so we we tried to maximize our time, and
that has become even more important. You know, I've gotten older,
and I've lost relatives, lost my parents, so I always
try to spend time with him, and so my brother,
(05:32):
his wife, and my two nieces. Obviously his daughters made
the sojourn from the East Coast. One of my nieces,
she lives in South Carolina on Charleston, South Carolina's going
to college and she flew out. My other niece, which
is very important here, headed to her senior year of
high school in Manhattan, and I drove her by a
high school here or I've someone very close to me,
(05:55):
it goes to high school, and she was like blown
away by like the football field, in the baseball field.
He's actually had none of that. Going to school in Manhattan,
I have no no concept of that. They have a
basketball team, but they don't have anything, uh like outdoors.
And but last Wednesday I was off because of the
We had a big Mallard Mansion welcoming party, amazing, and
(06:17):
my job I was fahita Freddie. That was my job.
I was manning the fifty seven pounds of fajitas that
we had everything covered, Danny. We had ribby, we had chicken,
even for our vegan friends. There were some mushrooms which
were a little disturbing cooking fungus on the griddle. But
(06:39):
to each their own, live and let live. But I
had a good stack of veggies. I had onions, bell
pepper and all this, you know, it was. It was cool.
Had the tortillas, flower tortillas, cooking those up. I'm this
was restaurant qual. I'm I'm Danny. I'm telling this. You
gotta get a griddle at some point. This thing makes
(07:00):
restaurant quality food. It had nothing to do with me anyway.
So I had some other relatives that were kind of
in the air of two other cousins that lived close
and we had eaten and I spent all night cooking
food and all that eat we moved on to dessert.
One of my cousins brought cupcakes. We had a cake,
so we had all this and boom bang pile and
(07:22):
then all of a sudden, like the lights started a
flicker in the kitchen. We had all eaten. We were
on the dessert part and things started flicking, flickering, and
then bam, somebody pulled the plug. Power out each at
the party. Hi, I like to saint power out total darkness.
(07:45):
Someone called an electrician immediately. Was this a neighbor drunk
crashing into a telephone pole? I'm glad you asked, Dandy,
because I did what everyone else does. We all do
the same thing. If you're you have a power outage,
what do you do? You immediately go out the front
door to look around, and you hope that all of
(08:05):
your other neighbors also have their power out. You don't
want to be the only house with the power out.
And I guess it would be a neighbor crashing into
a power line, not a telephone poll well telephone yeah
at least yeah, but but but anyway, so so we
went outside and sure enough, like the whole as far
as we could see in the north Woods there the power.
(08:25):
No you feel right though, You feel better when it's
everybody not just you, Yeah, because if it's just you,
you're like, oh, something's wrong with my house. But if
it's everyone's like, oh, they just somebody messed up at
the power company and it'll be back on and all that.
So everyone pulls out their smartphone and they're all holding
it up like it's uh kind of something like that
(08:47):
and uh doing that whole thing. We did have a flashlight,
and so half the crowd went out front, the other
half went in the back of the malle match because
we had a fire pit going, so they don't need it,
was all, you know, you don't need the power for
a fire fire pit. So thank goodness. The power actually
(09:07):
was only off for like two hours and then it
it popped back on and it was just a neighborhood
power outage situation. So but right, I'm fortunate it happened
at the end. If it had happened while I was
cooking the fajitas and everything, that would be a poop fest,
as some would say. So that was my my trip
(09:30):
at the party. Now pump it up, then you gotta
pump it up is what you have to do. Well.
First of all, Ben, before I tell you about pump
it Up. I was at the local CVS here last
night and I saw an actor from one of your
favorite eighties movies. I'll give you. I'll give you a clue.
(09:51):
Who are you gonna call? Joined the party late, but
he's one of the guys who made that movie a classic,
and he was buying at CBS. He didn't have anything
in his hands yet. But I am talking about the
Great Ernie Hudson. Oh of course he must live out there.
(10:12):
I googled it after I left the CVS because I
was curious, and it said that he splits his time
between Minnesota and southern California. Oh man, yeah, there's only
We've only lost one of the original Ghostbusters, right egne
past right? Well, that's cool. Yeah, And here's the best part.
(10:34):
When he walked past me, he said, what's up? I
gotta what's up? From the Great Ernie Hudson And I
just stared at him like a little kid in awe.
That's awesome. Yeah, And you wonder how many times people
come up to him. Probably not much anymore, but they're like, Hey,
who you gonna call? It's funny you say that, because
(10:55):
that's exactly what I was thinking. I was like, dude,
I know that this guy thousand times in his life
somebody has come up to him and said that to
him and then asked for an autograph. Oh, you know
what we gotta do, Danny's I gotta have you steak
out that CBS. We gotta get Ernie Hudson on the podcast.
I'm staying, Yeah, get him on. I'd love to talk
(11:15):
to Ernie Hudson. What's it like being a ghostbuster? Now
that I know he's a neighbor, I'm gonna see if
we can get him on the podcast. But yeah, so
that it was an exciting week, okay to see a
ghost That just capped off a great week where I
did have some transportation issues though. That was the only
small snap boo in the week, not kung fu snafoo, because,
(11:38):
like you Ben, my family was sharing one car all right,
don't have the new clutch yet. I find out that
Wednesday afternoon the district needs me at one of their
elementary schools. Damn it, How am I going to get there?
I don't exactly want to pay lift because this school
is right down the street, but when I pulled it
(11:59):
up on lift, they wanted ten dollars on principle alone.
I don't want to give them ten dollars. Okay, I'm
right there with you. I'm a fugal man myself, and
so what what did you pull a bike out a skateboard?
What's your what's your move? I'm glad you asked, so
I'm like, all right, it's time to resurrect the e bike.
(12:20):
I used it in the city when I lived in
downtown Burbank. I haven't used it here yet where I
live now because there's so many hills, it's been so hot,
hasn't exactly been perfect bike riding conditions here. But I
needed the bike now because I'm like, screw paying them
twenty dollars to get back and forth. I'm gonna save
(12:40):
that money for Maui in November and I'll yeah, I'll
just ride my bike. That'll get you about a third
of a cocktail. That'll give me one shrimp, one shrimp
on a plate, baby shrimp, because you're right, a baby
shrimp on a plate. So I've pull out the e bike.
(13:00):
It had been covered. I had to cover on it,
but it took about ten minutes of maneuvering because there's
a lot of stuff piled in that part of the garage,
several bikes next to each other, and you know how
the bikes kind of get stuck together. I had to
move things away so that I could carefully roll out
each bike out of the way. I get the e
(13:22):
bike out, I take the cover off. There's still some
dust on some parts that the cover wasn't covering, you know.
I go into my clean mode, Ben, and even though
I'm on my lunch break now, I'm like, I don't
want to spend too much of this hour cleaning. Let
me just make this bike shining and all brand new again.
I'm I'm shining it up. I get the dust off,
(13:44):
I get the bike ready. I'm like, I look at
my watch. I only have a few minutes before I
need to get on this bike to get to that
school in time. But I know, well it's been sitting
for a little while. I need to put some air
in these tires now. I've not had to do this
before with Spike because it's a new bike. I find
the step pump that I have, the foot pump, and
(14:05):
I'm like, all right, let me get some air in
these tires and then I'm gonna be on my way.
Problem I take off the cap on the first tire.
Ah damn it. These are not normal tires for a
normal pump. Oh bastards, So what what kind of you
need a special device to hook him up? Or yeah,
(14:27):
you need a special pump for e bike tires. I
know this what it reminds me of Apple, where you
have to have certain adapters and connectors for their products.
I googled it. I guess it's like called a straighter valve.
So a regular bike pump or ball pump will not
(14:48):
connect to the to the tires. Can you connect? So
you and you've never had this issue with the tires before,
you never had to pump them up. This is the
only time you've had to do this. Oh man, I
have this shiny bike and two flat tires. So what
do you do? You gotta take it? Lift? You start
(15:10):
walking like, what's your take? So now my move is
I still say f you lift and Uber on principle alone,
gonna charge me ten dollars to go too blocks or
it's more than two blocks and it's up a hill.
I'd say it's about a five minute car ride. Not
the end of the world, but not worth twenty dollars either.
(15:30):
I wish I could walk it, Ben, but it is
completely uphill and around a bend. Probably I'm guessing it
would be a half hour walk to that school. Now
some advice here, and I don't know how this story
is going to turn out, But just to give you
my background, uh, Danny, I you've known me a while.
I am a very prudent person. Uh. You know you
(15:52):
know that Guyl Chapo, right, you've heard of him, right? Yeah?
My name if I was in a Mexican cartel would
be el Cheapo. That would be money. So I what
I would have done is I would have walked like
maybe halfway and then seeing how much the lift is,
like to see if I could like slice in and
a half like that would have been moment. But but
(16:14):
I can't wait to hear what happened next. I wonder,
like the planes, trains and automobiles, did you hitch hike?
What did you do? Well? I checked the weather and
it was a cool ninety nine degrees outside Chamber of
Commerce kind of day. Yeah, So I was like, well,
I better put on some sunscreen if I'm gonna start walking,
(16:35):
but I'm also looking at my watch because I don't
think I'm gonna make it on time, so I put
on my thinking cap, which doesn't happen often. I found
an employee who also was needed at that school because
a few days ago I overheard the principle saying blah
blah blah, teacher is also needed at that school Wednesday afternoon.
(16:55):
All hands on deck there, Okay, I remember hearing this.
I get on my phone, I find that teacher's number
and I'm like, hey, are they also calling you into
this elementary school. I get a reply back, Yep, on
my way now, ding ding ding ding ding. You're like hot,
dignity doll. Yeah. I was like, all right, if it's
(17:17):
on your way, could you please pick me up on
the corner of blank and blank. And this teacher was
nice enough to pick me up and give me a
lift there. They were also on the same kind of
shift I was on, so I also got the lift back.
Did not have to part with twenty Yeah, but now
(17:39):
I'm gonna have to spend more than twenty dollars on
an e bike pump on Amazon. That sucks, man. Yeah,
it's it's the whole pump like I I bought years
ago at the old Mallard mansion at Walmart. I got
like an air pump air like a thing that would
actually like if your tires go flat, you know, you
can hook it up that whole thing, uh, and you
(18:01):
plug it in. It's like a plug in thing and
it's got a million different handles and it actually is
coming handy, like when you're if you have a basketball
or football you gotta blow it up with the air
tires on a bike? Could you hook up the connected after? Yeah?
Could you hook that up? I'm thinking I haven't had
time yet to sit down and look at the options.
I'm guessing that there's probably adapters I can buy to
(18:24):
put onto the end of the air pump I already have,
I'm assuming, but if not right away on the initial
Amazon search I did, they were trying to sell me
the digital pumps you're talking about. Well, it's not digital,
it's just I bought it years ago. It's like a
tube thing and you plug it in and then it's
like when you if you've used gas air at the
(18:46):
gas station. You know it takes that kind of noiser
like that. That's how does it sound? Again? May May
may like just like that, and then air comes out
of it and it's ed Mallard does all his own
sounded h of course whatever you need. Listen, you have
to improv from time to time. Wing it all right,
(19:09):
So you made it to work. So we are one
week away this actually less than a week. Check that
less than a week away from our first big Mallard
meet and greet since nineteen. Now. I did do one
in Appleton, Wisconsin, but was last minute and I didn't
promote it the way I should have promoted it. We
(19:30):
still had a good turn out all things considered, but uh,
you know, COVID and all that. The last one I
did was in twenty nineteen in Seattle, and it's a
so cal social event, Danny G. It's the event of
the summer. It cannot be missed. Myself, Eddie, Garcia, Cooper
(19:51):
and Roberto have decided that they're too busy they will
not be attending. Yeah, but you are invited as well,
Danny G. I don't know if your schedule allow you
to attend, but I have gotten corresponded from people saying
will Danny G be there? And so you're more than
welcome if you want, let me know. I'll promote it
during the week, but as of right now, it's just
(20:12):
gonna be me and Eddie and I'm really looking forward
to say. It's not through Fox Sports Radio, it's not
an official fs R I Heart event. In fact, they
don't even know about it because they sleep while we're
on the air. But we're gonna hang out together in
lamar Ratta. If you're familiar with southern California, it's in
North o c right near the l A County line,
(20:36):
not far away behind the Orange Curtain, and the name
of the restaurant is twelve sixty Modern Pub and Kitchen.
It's I'm told it's right adjacent to a Holiday Inn.
In fact, it might even be in the parking lot
at the Holiday Inn there. Yeah, So if you're planning
(20:57):
on showing up and getting completely ship faced, uh, this
is an opportunity for you to stay at the holiday
and and not injure anyone else not pull a move
of an old Las Vegas Raider. But it's a laid
back sports bar. It's a fourteen to nine nine Firestone
Boulevard in La Morada, and I will be there. I
(21:21):
am scheduled to attend from six pm to ten pm.
That is four hours for the same amount of time
as our radio show, and my goal is to shake
hands and kiss babies. Chase Scoop is going to be
there all the way from Seattle. He will be in attendance,
and we have some San Diego people making the drive up.
(21:45):
I believe there'll be a few people from Vegas. I
haven't heard from anyone in Arizona, but you're all welcome.
If you're in reasonable driving distance, I would love to
meet you. We don't do these things very often. I
have not done a appearance in southern California in the
l A Orange County area that's outside of a minor
league baseball game in probably almost twenty five years. So
(22:10):
it's been a long time, is what I'm trying to say.
And so we look forward to it and as long
as it's not geographically undesirable, and Eddie says Danny that
we have a legitimate chance to break the record for
a Mallard meet and greet. The record was at the
Casking Flagging across from Finway, and I think that was
(22:34):
also in twenty nineteen. I think that was March or
I think it was March of going into April and
we had about I think it was around fifty or
so people that showed up to an event. And that
was like a last minute thing too in Boston. So well,
we'll see if we can out do that. Now, are
true that if we show up we all get to
(22:55):
sign David Vassey's cast. Yeah, I don't think we'll be
able to attend. I think there's a Dodger game that night, unfortunately,
but but we we can sign a car to get
well card for Vesta. We could get a big you
know those big oversized post things get well Vesa. Oh
that would be great. And then he loves busting your chops. Yeah,
oh yeah all the time. I know you texted him
(23:17):
something after his accident, No I did. I sent him
a meme of a kid going down a slide too.
You know, obviously a little child can go down a slide,
but for some reason eating right back. Maybe it's because
his right wrist is broken and he uses that to
send messages and and so that could be could be
why though. Yeah, that's a tremendous David a viral star
(23:38):
of the Internet this week. Yeah, please google that if
you hear us talking about it, and you haven't seen
it yet. Type in Dodger reporter breaking risks going down
Brewers slide yeah, or you can type in his last
name is v A S S E G h vs
A is. I was trying to stay away from that.
(24:00):
Uh yeah, I am looking at it right. That's gonna
be a great meat and Greek though, because you know
Southern Cali reps hard for the Ben Mallard ship. I'm
fired up, man, and so listen. Based on the numbers,
we do very well on a M five seventy, where
as you know, Danny, that station does tremendous and at
(24:21):
Dodger Baseball dominates the radio dial and we get to
come on right after on the late night show, the
Dodger Games, and so we're on right after Dodger programming,
and so it's pretty it's pretty cool, and I'm looking
forward to it, and I know Anthony and Anaheim is
gonna be there. And ironically enough, it goes from vass
(24:41):
A's voice to your voice. Yeah, that's right there you go.
All right, So turning the page on that, I mentioned
earlier that the story with the power going out at
the party, we had house guests gott to entertain, so
we had a beach day that was a lot of fun,
lounging around. Also did some thrift store or shopping with
my nieces. They wanted to go to thrift stores to
(25:03):
buy clothes and all that crap. So I was like,
all right, whatever and uh. But then the highlight of
the week, with my brother in town and my other relatives,
the Crown Jewel Danny, I did something I had never done.
I popped my cherry. I'm no longer a Virgin. I
with my wife we rented a boat for ninety minutes,
(25:27):
a ninety minute tour around Newport Beach in the O
c oh cool. You were captain Benny. Yeah, AHOI made
uh under under black flag. We shall sail obey the
captain or learned to you know, learn to sail. Ever,
so my brother was there. So along with my brother,
(25:50):
we took turns driving the vessel around the harbor. And
so you can now call me black Beard Benny, shiver
me chimber. This isn't that what pirates say? All right? Yeah?
Were you like John Candy in that classic eighties film
where you found out that there were tons of frozen
fish down below you had to throw them overboard? To
(26:11):
get more speed. I could only wish we were in
a boat that big to have frozen fish underneath, But
I I'd be the ruler of seven c So I
jotted down a couple of notes from my experiences black Beard. Benny,
have you ever done this, Danny? Have you ever rented
a boat before? Okay, then neither of I. It's very expensive, right,
(26:34):
So that's the first thing. And my this particularly, my
wife did not take a nap. She she got up
early because we had to do some some early daytime
stuff because my relatives were on East Coast time, and
so when she doesn't get a nap, she's not very happy.
And so she was kind of he was She was nice,
but you could tell she was annoyed that she didn't
(26:55):
get it. So she reminded me as we're driving the boat,
she reminds me that we don't have insurance for the boat.
And she keeps telling me us and and so okay,
she said they didn't offer. She said, if if we
crashed the boat, we have to then pay out of
(27:18):
pocket to repair this boat and whatever other boat. If
it's our fault, we have to take care. Yeah, so
this was not a problem, Danny, until about twenty five
minutes into the boat. Right, we're driving through the back channels.
They're in Newport Beach, beautiful amazing yachts all over the place,
(27:42):
and I'm I'm in the captain's chair. We we drive
by one of these yachts and in the back we
spotted a sea lion that was just laying down chilling. Now,
let me explain, this is a beautiful creature on from
God's green Earth, and this thing was taking a nap.
(28:02):
You know those dinghies in the back of the yachts
that they used to get to get to the land,
And so there was a dinghy behind this multimillion dollar
yacht and this massive like sea lions laying in the
in the dinghy. So we go by. I'm driving cruising,
I should say, we go by the dinghy with the
(28:27):
sea lion, and everyone's like, oh, you gotta turn around,
and I want to. I want to get a better look. Right,
I'm getting peer pressure. I've never turned a fucking boat around.
I don't know what the hell I'm doing, right, So, okay,
I want to make everyone happy. I want to make
this the greatest experience they could have. They wanted me
to circle back. So I, of course do as best
(28:51):
as I can. I think it's like I'm out in
a car and I attempt to maneuver the boat. I'm
finagling the boat around. Wait did this boat have a
backup camera? Yeah? No, no, no, no no, we wish. So
now keep in mind, I again, i'd never driven a boat.
The only experience I had was at Disneyland, which i'm
(29:11):
dating myself. You probably remember this, Danny, if you went
back in the day, if you're of a certain age,
But they used to have this thing called the Motor
Boat Cruise, which was it was right on the border
of Fantasy Land and Tomorrowland, and it was like the
boat equivalent of Autopia, right, So they had this for years.
It closed in the nineties and it's you know, it's
(29:35):
long gone and all that that sounds familiar. Yeah, that's
my only experience on a boat where you're on a
track going acrossing the waterways at Disneyland. So I don't
know what I'm doing. Some kid, I was a young
guy at the boat rental. He spends less than five
minutes explaining how to drive the boat. And I'm not
(29:58):
exactly like five minutes. He's like he's explaining how here's
it forward backwards, here's what not to do, here's what
to do if this happens, and then bam, we're on
our way. So now we go back. Let me circle
back to the sea line where I had to turn
the thing around. So I I flipped the boat around.
I'm able to turn the boat around. But now I
have another problem. I have to now position the boat
(30:22):
between two other yachts, because that way we'd have a
nice view of the sea lion. But more importantly, we'd
be out of the main waterway where there's other boats
blocking the boats. So I'm picturing this in my mind
and it's not going well. So I as I slow
down an attempt to stop the boat, I position the boat.
(30:46):
I jerry rigged the boat in between the two yachts.
And these are very expensive yuyts. These yachts would send
me to bankruptcy. Okay if I if I touch either
one of these yachts with the boat. So so I
the boat's not doing what it's supposed to do. I'm
going in reverse. The thing is floating to the left,
it's supposed to be sitting center or going to the right.
(31:10):
And then I try to turn the power of the
boat off and the thing starts floating. It's on a
collision course to hit this million dollar yacht with all
I mean, it's unbelievable. I'm thinking, here we go Titanic
two point oh. You know, well, not only am I
gonna hit the yacht, everyone's gonna sink in this, this
(31:31):
dopey electric boat. Finally, some real breaking Titanic news from
Marcel to tweet out that's right, that's right. So then
a a good samaritan, my older brother saves the day. Right,
he realizes, holy Cannoli, my brother is about to send
the yacht or the not even we didn't have a yacht.
(31:52):
We had an electric boat. But we're about to send
the boat into the yacht. And so he's telling me
all this. He sees all this rather and what he does,
like Superman or Captain America. He stands up in the boat,
hand to God Danny, and he pushes with his hands
to hit the yacht. But by doing that, he hadn't.
(32:13):
It was he and and my my other cousin they
were able to save the day by using their hands
to push the yacht and and direct the boat. We
were in a way. My right hand was getting a workout,
dodging a collision which would have scraped up the boat
and wowsers. So at this point my wife then gives
(32:36):
me a reminder, we have no insurance. What are you doing?
You know? It's that kind of thing, all right. So
I wanted to walk the plank. I wanted to get
off the boat right there. I was like, this is
not a good experience. I wanted. I wanted to to
pillage and plunder the land or whatever. Yoho yoho. A
(32:57):
pirate's life ain't for me. And uh, it was very
stressful and I don't know that I'll do it again.
And then the other thing was my wife kept telling me.
It's like she said, listen, for every minute we're late,
they're gonna charge us a ridiculous amount of money. If
we go over the ninety minute a lot of time.
Then sucks. Yeah, So there's pressure to get back, and
(33:20):
then there's like, well, you've got to take the boat,
You've got to slow it down. So I'm thinking in
my head, okay, so the same thing is gonna happen.
When I tried to slow down, we hit the yacht.
Now we're gonna try to slow down and we're gonna
run into the little dock and then I'm gonna get
charged because we're gonna gonna But unfortunately did not happen.
We were able to make it back and so that
(33:43):
was my my trip on the waterways. How did you
not hit the dock? It was an active, active, active
God clearly divine intervention. Afterwards, looking back, I think she
enjoyed it. And so she's like, well, now next time
we go out to like Catalina Island off the coast
(34:06):
of l A, will rent a boat, you know, because
then we'll be out in the open ocean. You know,
we could go wrong there, you know. And she's like,
we can die, we can go fishing or not fishing,
but dive out and swim and the water outside Catalina.
So so that was that we gotta get out. We
have backscratcher. They We've got a few backscratchers this week, Danny.
And this is where we blatantly begged you the listener
(34:28):
two support our podcast on the Apple podcast page, and
Danny has been explaining each week how to do that.
If you want to join the fun. If you listen
to the podcast, obviously you're listening to it right now,
you're hearing my voice, and if you would like to
have your voice heard, we will promise to read your
comment good, bad or ugly right here in the backscratcher segment.
(34:50):
And I'm looking here, Danny, and I see one, two, three,
three responses this week, which is pretty good, because there
were some weeks we got none. There were some we
had one. Last week we had a record I think
it was five five responses. But this is solid. If
we can get one, two or three a week, we're
good to go. How can people add on to this, Danny?
(35:12):
How can You're very good at explaining this. You're an
expert at how people can find our show on the
Apple podcast page. Yeah. I was just gonna say there
were weeks where there was zero or one to three,
but there were always several emails to us saying I
can't figure it out. I want to give a review,
but I can't figure it out. It's pretty easy. Right here,
(35:34):
go into the description of the podcast. There is a
link to subscribe, review and rate the podcast. When you
click on that link page down, you'll see the big
four point nine, which is our overall rating, and right
under that it says, write a review and click on
that you make a user name, and then you are
(35:55):
able to write an Apple podcast review. Alright, so it's
it's not that hard, like anything. Once you figure it out, Yeah,
you'll be able to do it whenever you want. First
of all, one is from ah Ah. I believe it's
the name. That's the name. They put great general podcast,
much more than sports. You're right. In fact, we hardly
(36:18):
ever talked about uh. This is a great podcast about
the trials and tribulations of life in general, but not
just sports. It shows a side of Ben that you
don't get to see or here on the daily sports
talk show. Ben and his guy Danny g have a
great chemistry and entertaining salt of the earth attitude towards
(36:40):
the daily grind of living in so Cow. No Davis here,
that's right, Danny, We're not. D's absolutely not. MJ wrote,
and he says, another great weekend of shows. Brent Musburger
was excellent. I love that you are looking live just
thinking about Musburger in the nineties seventies and hanging out
(37:01):
with gamblers and him. Okay, here's my code for the gamblers.
Before the NFL games hilarious, larious. I love that he
definitely used to hang out and party with the mob
back in the day. You know, the gumbas says he
said about John Gruden. Right, the revolting parts of society.
Shall we say all right? Uh? B H and k
(37:23):
C rights and he says garlic to the throat. Ben
and Danny Gee, you can be entertained throughout the weekend
with your banter and real world commentary. I love anytime
Ben mentions the landing in Liberty, Missouri, home of the
Ben Mallard chicken fingers. That's my hometown, BH, says Ben.
(37:44):
Since this is the podcast, can you give a shout
out to the Liberty Blue Jays each time you mentioned
the Lenning No, look, look listen, b H. As you
know this is a podcast, this is not a morning
Zoo show. We cannot give us out to the Liberty
Blue Jays. That would be wrong. We can't tell people
to support the landing and Liberty to order the basket
of Ben Mallory chicken fingers, to tell people that you
(38:06):
attend that restaurant just because of the Ben Mallory chicken figures.
It would be wrong to do all that. Right there,
I'm glad that you won't do stuff like that. I
will not do that. I will certainly not say I
hope the Liberty Blue Jays do very well. I can't
because it would be like amateur Zoo morning show hour
and exactly. Obviously you're not a diva, but you are
a radio professional, and those people get paid a lot
(38:28):
of money. I every time I contract this up, and
I'm actually in a negotiation right now, I have a
happy ending. But I am reminded that there are two
worlds in radio. There's the six am to six pm,
and there's the six pm to six am, and the
haves and the have nots. And uh so, I I'm
reminded when when it's time for the contract, which half
(38:51):
I am in really quick, what's the team that we're
too professional to mention? Again? Well, that would be the
Liberty Blue Jays, all right, but I can't. You know again,
Liberty Missouri can't do it. Uh b H says, keep
up a great work, gentlemen. Your preparation, dedication to the craft,
and reliability makes for engaging content. Well that was well written.
That was so good. I feel like I need eat
(39:12):
some ben mallow chicken figures. At the landing in Liberty,
Missouri while I'm watching the Liberty Blue Jays, unless that's
not the case, Danny, anything to promote here, anything at all, Danny,
anything you would like to tell people about. You've got
a radio schedule this weekend, it's Saturday, or what do
you have going on? Well, first of all, before I
get to this weekend, a programming note. I am gonna
(39:33):
be on your live show filling in hey Monday night
into Tuesday morning. Oh outstand. Yeah, so that's gonna be
a lot of fun. Before we get there. Saturday Saturday,
I'm gonna be on the jam Packed l A Freeways
going into Produce Hartman and Shorts, and then after that
Brian no with from salon the No Show. Alright, very good,
(39:58):
have a great rest of your day today, whatever you're doing,
and we'll catch you. Get the mail bag up next,
warming up for our next podcast. We'll talk to you then,
have a great day. Asta pasta population
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere back in
the podcast Jojo, a brand spanking new edition of The
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio. You
are in the air everywhere. We will attempt to not
(00:46):
deliberately sabotage podcast, but Danny back at it. I want
to thank my guy Sports with Coleman, who gave us
an inside look on the Friday podcast about the seed
underbelly of radio. As Yeah, he was laid off from
his gig in Baltimore, and it's good to have him
on and an excuse to talk to him great broadcasters.
(01:09):
Whoever gets him next is a lucky radio station. Upward
and onward, Danny. He was upset that you were not
able to be part of that. He said, where's Danny
g You listen Danny's he's a very busy man. Okay,
can I be bothered to talk to you? And if
he was gonna do one of these Friday podcasts, it
would have been Brent Musburger. It would not have been you.
(01:32):
That kind of thing, right, Yeah, Friday. I get to
do a lot of the booking and the behind the
scenes editing of that podcast. But when it comes to
an interview ban it's one on one. It's like you're
a reporter. Oh, it may tell you. I asked the
deep questions, deep penetrating questions unless I don't no, no, no, no,
(01:53):
not rating is the keyword. I was more concerned about
him giving me a double fish. Wells Uh. There's a
lot of hesitation, there's a lot of shakiness, a lot
of unstudying nous in these interviews, and uh, I usually
end up botching most of them. But nonetheless, so this
being the Saturday podcast, I've got on the menu today
(02:14):
at the bodega, We've got Electrician pump it Up, shaking
hands and kissing babies and black Beard Benny. Now, I'm
going to attempt to not injure myself like our friend
David Vasse, who has been on this podcast, who went viral.
(02:34):
He was all over the place. I was at the gym.
They had on the on Sports Center. They showed my man,
David Vasse attempting to go down a slide and he
was like even a car accident. It was unbelievable. Yeah,
that's the slide that the Milwaukee Brewer's mascot slides down
after a home run. Right. Oh yeah, Bernie Brewer, the
(02:56):
mascot a few nights ago, might drowning and I we
kept watching this video over and over again. We were
dying laughing, just like Joe Davis in the broadcast booth
showed the clip and he could not stop laughing. It
was great, No, it was amazing. You know, I've known David.
He was my producer back in the day when I
(03:18):
was doing local radio in l A, The Ben and
Dave Show, and he's like, you know, he's got kids,
he's all these he gets every once in a while
they throw him a bone. He gets to the dodging
game on TV. So he's up going down the slide.
It's snapped, crackle pop. He broke six He frestured six
ribs and broke his his wrist. If I'm going down
a damn mascot slide. And I've not been to that.
(03:42):
I was. I was in that ballpark when they were
building it, but I was in the old stadium, in
the old stadium. I don't remember the slide in the
old stadium having that kind of angle, but hopefully. Well.
One thing you have to appreciate was Joe Davis and
Nomar cracking up laughing. As the video shows. That's a
riving in pain. These two are cracking up laughing. I've
(04:07):
always appreciated when somebody can laugh through hard times like that. Yeah,
for sure. And he was going, oh crap, oh crap,
like he was nervous, like he he You could tell
he did not feel comfortable. Oh crap, oh crap. Damn. See,
(04:28):
if the Dodgers are smart, they'd have a Vasse bubble
head where he goes down the slide and tumbles Vesse
bubble head night and the bubble head is him with
the cast on his arm. Yes, yes, exactly, what idea.
You gotta give that to the Dodger marketing team. Marketing
team needs to do that, all right. So and now
I was away from my post a few days at
(04:50):
the end of last week, and I did not do
the radio show, was not hanging out on the graveyard shift,
not in the cat bird seat. And I meant this
the other night on the radio show. But the reason
why if you didn't hear it, we had mentioned it
last weekend that because of family in town, I had
(05:11):
my older brother and his family were here, and so
we you know, I don't see him very often. I
see him once or twice a year the most. Uh,
And so we we tried to maximize our time, and
that has become even more important. You know, I've gotten older,
and I've lost relatives, lost my parents, so I always
try to spend time with him, and so my brother,
(05:32):
his wife, and my two nieces. Obviously his daughters made
the sojourn from the East Coast. One of my nieces,
she lives in South Carolina on Charleston, South Carolina's going
to college and she flew out. My other niece, which
is very important here, headed to her senior year of
high school in Manhattan, and I drove her by a
high school here or I've someone very close to me,
(05:55):
it goes to high school, and she was like blown
away by like the football field, in the baseball field.
He's actually had none of that. Going to school in Manhattan,
I have no no concept of that. They have a
basketball team, but they don't have anything, uh like outdoors.
And but last Wednesday I was off because of the
We had a big Mallard Mansion welcoming party, amazing, and
(06:17):
my job I was fahita Freddie. That was my job.
I was manning the fifty seven pounds of fajitas that
we had everything covered, Danny. We had ribby, we had chicken,
even for our vegan friends. There were some mushrooms which
were a little disturbing cooking fungus on the griddle. But
(06:39):
to each their own, live and let live. But I
had a good stack of veggies. I had onions, bell
pepper and all this, you know, it was. It was cool.
Had the tortillas, flower tortillas, cooking those up. I'm this
was restaurant qual. I'm I'm Danny. I'm telling this. You
gotta get a griddle at some point. This thing makes
(07:00):
restaurant quality food. It had nothing to do with me anyway.
So I had some other relatives that were kind of
in the air of two other cousins that lived close
and we had eaten and I spent all night cooking
food and all that eat we moved on to dessert.
One of my cousins brought cupcakes. We had a cake,
so we had all this and boom bang pile and
(07:22):
then all of a sudden, like the lights started a
flicker in the kitchen. We had all eaten. We were
on the dessert part and things started flicking, flickering, and
then bam, somebody pulled the plug. Power out each at
the party. Hi, I like to saint power out total darkness.
(07:45):
Someone called an electrician immediately. Was this a neighbor drunk
crashing into a telephone pole? I'm glad you asked, Dandy,
because I did what everyone else does. We all do
the same thing. If you're you have a power outage,
what do you do? You immediately go out the front
door to look around, and you hope that all of
(08:05):
your other neighbors also have their power out. You don't
want to be the only house with the power out.
And I guess it would be a neighbor crashing into
a power line, not a telephone poll well telephone yeah
at least yeah, but but but anyway, so so we
went outside and sure enough, like the whole as far
as we could see in the north Woods there the power.
(08:25):
No you feel right though, You feel better when it's
everybody not just you, Yeah, because if it's just you,
you're like, oh, something's wrong with my house. But if
it's everyone's like, oh, they just somebody messed up at
the power company and it'll be back on and all that.
So everyone pulls out their smartphone and they're all holding
it up like it's uh kind of something like that
(08:47):
and uh doing that whole thing. We did have a flashlight,
and so half the crowd went out front, the other
half went in the back of the malle match because
we had a fire pit going, so they don't need it,
was all, you know, you don't need the power for
a fire fire pit. So thank goodness. The power actually
(09:07):
was only off for like two hours and then it
it popped back on and it was just a neighborhood
power outage situation. So but right, I'm fortunate it happened
at the end. If it had happened while I was
cooking the fajitas and everything, that would be a poop fest,
as some would say. So that was my my trip
(09:30):
at the party. Now pump it up, then you gotta
pump it up is what you have to do. Well.
First of all, Ben, before I tell you about pump
it Up. I was at the local CVS here last
night and I saw an actor from one of your
favorite eighties movies. I'll give you. I'll give you a clue.
(09:51):
Who are you gonna call? Joined the party late, but
he's one of the guys who made that movie a classic,
and he was buying at CBS. He didn't have anything
in his hands yet. But I am talking about the
Great Ernie Hudson. Oh of course he must live out there.
(10:12):
I googled it after I left the CVS because I
was curious, and it said that he splits his time
between Minnesota and southern California. Oh man, yeah, there's only
We've only lost one of the original Ghostbusters, right egne
past right? Well, that's cool. Yeah, And here's the best part.
(10:34):
When he walked past me, he said, what's up? I
gotta what's up? From the Great Ernie Hudson And I
just stared at him like a little kid in awe.
That's awesome. Yeah, And you wonder how many times people
come up to him. Probably not much anymore, but they're like, Hey,
who you gonna call? It's funny you say that, because
(10:55):
that's exactly what I was thinking. I was like, dude,
I know that this guy thousand times in his life
somebody has come up to him and said that to
him and then asked for an autograph. Oh, you know
what we gotta do, Danny's I gotta have you steak
out that CBS. We gotta get Ernie Hudson on the podcast.
I'm staying, Yeah, get him on. I'd love to talk
(11:15):
to Ernie Hudson. What's it like being a ghostbuster? Now
that I know he's a neighbor, I'm gonna see if
we can get him on the podcast. But yeah, so
that it was an exciting week, okay to see a
ghost That just capped off a great week where I
did have some transportation issues though. That was the only
small snap boo in the week, not kung fu snafoo, because,
(11:38):
like you Ben, my family was sharing one car all right,
don't have the new clutch yet. I find out that
Wednesday afternoon the district needs me at one of their
elementary schools. Damn it, How am I going to get there?
I don't exactly want to pay lift because this school
is right down the street, but when I pulled it
(11:59):
up on lift, they wanted ten dollars on principle alone.
I don't want to give them ten dollars. Okay, I'm
right there with you. I'm a fugal man myself, and
so what what did you pull a bike out a skateboard?
What's your what's your move? I'm glad you asked, so
I'm like, all right, it's time to resurrect the e bike.
(12:20):
I used it in the city when I lived in
downtown Burbank. I haven't used it here yet where I
live now because there's so many hills, it's been so hot,
hasn't exactly been perfect bike riding conditions here. But I
needed the bike now because I'm like, screw paying them
twenty dollars to get back and forth. I'm gonna save
(12:40):
that money for Maui in November and I'll yeah, I'll
just ride my bike. That'll get you about a third
of a cocktail. That'll give me one shrimp, one shrimp
on a plate, baby shrimp, because you're right, a baby
shrimp on a plate. So I've pull out the e bike.
(13:00):
It had been covered. I had to cover on it,
but it took about ten minutes of maneuvering because there's
a lot of stuff piled in that part of the garage,
several bikes next to each other, and you know how
the bikes kind of get stuck together. I had to
move things away so that I could carefully roll out
each bike out of the way. I get the e
(13:22):
bike out, I take the cover off. There's still some
dust on some parts that the cover wasn't covering, you know.
I go into my clean mode, Ben, and even though
I'm on my lunch break now, I'm like, I don't
want to spend too much of this hour cleaning. Let
me just make this bike shining and all brand new again.
I'm I'm shining it up. I get the dust off,
(13:44):
I get the bike ready. I'm like, I look at
my watch. I only have a few minutes before I
need to get on this bike to get to that
school in time. But I know, well it's been sitting
for a little while. I need to put some air
in these tires now. I've not had to do this
before with Spike because it's a new bike. I find
the step pump that I have, the foot pump, and
(14:05):
I'm like, all right, let me get some air in
these tires and then I'm gonna be on my way.
Problem I take off the cap on the first tire.
Ah damn it. These are not normal tires for a
normal pump. Oh bastards, So what what kind of you
need a special device to hook him up? Or yeah,
(14:27):
you need a special pump for e bike tires. I
know this what it reminds me of Apple, where you
have to have certain adapters and connectors for their products.
I googled it. I guess it's like called a straighter valve.
So a regular bike pump or ball pump will not
(14:48):
connect to the to the tires. Can you connect? So
you and you've never had this issue with the tires before,
you never had to pump them up. This is the
only time you've had to do this. Oh man, I
have this shiny bike and two flat tires. So what
do you do? You gotta take it? Lift? You start
(15:10):
walking like, what's your take? So now my move is
I still say f you lift and Uber on principle alone,
gonna charge me ten dollars to go too blocks or
it's more than two blocks and it's up a hill.
I'd say it's about a five minute car ride. Not
the end of the world, but not worth twenty dollars either.
(15:30):
I wish I could walk it, Ben, but it is
completely uphill and around a bend. Probably I'm guessing it
would be a half hour walk to that school. Now
some advice here, and I don't know how this story
is going to turn out, But just to give you
my background, uh, Danny, I you've known me a while.
I am a very prudent person. Uh. You know you
(15:52):
know that Guyl Chapo, right, you've heard of him, right? Yeah?
My name if I was in a Mexican cartel would
be el Cheapo. That would be money. So I what
I would have done is I would have walked like
maybe halfway and then seeing how much the lift is,
like to see if I could like slice in and
a half like that would have been moment. But but
(16:14):
I can't wait to hear what happened next. I wonder,
like the planes, trains and automobiles, did you hitch hike?
What did you do? Well? I checked the weather and
it was a cool ninety nine degrees outside Chamber of
Commerce kind of day. Yeah, So I was like, well,
I better put on some sunscreen if I'm gonna start walking,
(16:35):
but I'm also looking at my watch because I don't
think I'm gonna make it on time, so I put
on my thinking cap, which doesn't happen often. I found
an employee who also was needed at that school because
a few days ago I overheard the principle saying blah
blah blah, teacher is also needed at that school Wednesday afternoon.
(16:55):
All hands on deck there, Okay, I remember hearing this.
I get on my phone, I find that teacher's number
and I'm like, hey, are they also calling you into
this elementary school. I get a reply back, Yep, on
my way now, ding ding ding ding ding. You're like hot,
dignity doll. Yeah. I was like, all right, if it's
(17:17):
on your way, could you please pick me up on
the corner of blank and blank. And this teacher was
nice enough to pick me up and give me a
lift there. They were also on the same kind of
shift I was on, so I also got the lift back.
Did not have to part with twenty Yeah, but now
(17:39):
I'm gonna have to spend more than twenty dollars on
an e bike pump on Amazon. That sucks, man. Yeah,
it's it's the whole pump like I I bought years
ago at the old Mallard mansion at Walmart. I got
like an air pump air like a thing that would
actually like if your tires go flat, you know, you
can hook it up that whole thing, uh, and you
(18:01):
plug it in. It's like a plug in thing and
it's got a million different handles and it actually is
coming handy, like when you're if you have a basketball
or football you gotta blow it up with the air
tires on a bike? Could you hook up the connected after? Yeah?
Could you hook that up? I'm thinking I haven't had
time yet to sit down and look at the options.
I'm guessing that there's probably adapters I can buy to
(18:24):
put onto the end of the air pump I already have,
I'm assuming, but if not right away on the initial
Amazon search I did, they were trying to sell me
the digital pumps you're talking about. Well, it's not digital,
it's just I bought it years ago. It's like a
tube thing and you plug it in and then it's
like when you if you've used gas air at the
(18:46):
gas station. You know it takes that kind of noiser
like that. That's how does it sound? Again? May May
may like just like that, and then air comes out
of it and it's ed Mallard does all his own
sounded h of course whatever you need. Listen, you have
to improv from time to time. Wing it all right,
(19:09):
So you made it to work. So we are one
week away this actually less than a week. Check that
less than a week away from our first big Mallard
meet and greet since nineteen. Now. I did do one
in Appleton, Wisconsin, but was last minute and I didn't
promote it the way I should have promoted it. We
(19:30):
still had a good turn out all things considered, but uh,
you know, COVID and all that. The last one I
did was in twenty nineteen in Seattle, and it's a
so cal social event, Danny G. It's the event of
the summer. It cannot be missed. Myself, Eddie, Garcia, Cooper
(19:51):
and Roberto have decided that they're too busy they will
not be attending. Yeah, but you are invited as well,
Danny G. I don't know if your schedule allow you
to attend, but I have gotten corresponded from people saying
will Danny G be there? And so you're more than
welcome if you want, let me know. I'll promote it
during the week, but as of right now, it's just
(20:12):
gonna be me and Eddie and I'm really looking forward
to say. It's not through Fox Sports Radio, it's not
an official fs R I Heart event. In fact, they
don't even know about it because they sleep while we're
on the air. But we're gonna hang out together in
lamar Ratta. If you're familiar with southern California, it's in
North o c right near the l A County line,
(20:36):
not far away behind the Orange Curtain, and the name
of the restaurant is twelve sixty Modern Pub and Kitchen.
It's I'm told it's right adjacent to a Holiday Inn.
In fact, it might even be in the parking lot
at the Holiday Inn there. Yeah, So if you're planning
(20:57):
on showing up and getting completely ship faced, uh, this
is an opportunity for you to stay at the holiday
and and not injure anyone else not pull a move
of an old Las Vegas Raider. But it's a laid
back sports bar. It's a fourteen to nine nine Firestone
Boulevard in La Morada, and I will be there. I
(21:21):
am scheduled to attend from six pm to ten pm.
That is four hours for the same amount of time
as our radio show, and my goal is to shake
hands and kiss babies. Chase Scoop is going to be
there all the way from Seattle. He will be in attendance,
and we have some San Diego people making the drive up.
(21:45):
I believe there'll be a few people from Vegas. I
haven't heard from anyone in Arizona, but you're all welcome.
If you're in reasonable driving distance, I would love to
meet you. We don't do these things very often. I
have not done a appearance in southern California in the
l A Orange County area that's outside of a minor
league baseball game in probably almost twenty five years. So
(22:10):
it's been a long time, is what I'm trying to say.
And so we look forward to it and as long
as it's not geographically undesirable, and Eddie says Danny that
we have a legitimate chance to break the record for
a Mallard meet and greet. The record was at the
Casking Flagging across from Finway, and I think that was
(22:34):
also in twenty nineteen. I think that was March or
I think it was March of going into April and
we had about I think it was around fifty or
so people that showed up to an event. And that
was like a last minute thing too in Boston. So well,
we'll see if we can out do that. Now, are
true that if we show up we all get to
(22:55):
sign David Vassey's cast. Yeah, I don't think we'll be
able to attend. I think there's a Dodger game that night, unfortunately,
but but we we can sign a car to get
well card for Vesta. We could get a big you
know those big oversized post things get well Vesa. Oh
that would be great. And then he loves busting your chops. Yeah,
oh yeah all the time. I know you texted him
(23:17):
something after his accident, No I did. I sent him
a meme of a kid going down a slide too.
You know, obviously a little child can go down a slide,
but for some reason eating right back. Maybe it's because
his right wrist is broken and he uses that to
send messages and and so that could be could be
why though. Yeah, that's a tremendous David a viral star
(23:38):
of the Internet this week. Yeah, please google that if
you hear us talking about it, and you haven't seen
it yet. Type in Dodger reporter breaking risks going down
Brewers slide yeah, or you can type in his last
name is v A S S E G h vs
A is. I was trying to stay away from that.
(24:00):
Uh yeah, I am looking at it right. That's gonna
be a great meat and Greek though, because you know
Southern Cali reps hard for the Ben Mallard ship. I'm
fired up, man, and so listen. Based on the numbers,
we do very well on a M five seventy, where
as you know, Danny, that station does tremendous and at
(24:21):
Dodger Baseball dominates the radio dial and we get to
come on right after on the late night show, the
Dodger Games, and so we're on right after Dodger programming,
and so it's pretty it's pretty cool, and I'm looking
forward to it, and I know Anthony and Anaheim is
gonna be there. And ironically enough, it goes from vass
(24:41):
A's voice to your voice. Yeah, that's right there you go.
All right, So turning the page on that, I mentioned
earlier that the story with the power going out at
the party, we had house guests gott to entertain, so
we had a beach day that was a lot of fun,
lounging around. Also did some thrift store or shopping with
my nieces. They wanted to go to thrift stores to
(25:03):
buy clothes and all that crap. So I was like,
all right, whatever and uh. But then the highlight of
the week, with my brother in town and my other relatives,
the Crown Jewel Danny, I did something I had never done.
I popped my cherry. I'm no longer a Virgin. I
with my wife we rented a boat for ninety minutes,
(25:27):
a ninety minute tour around Newport Beach in the O
c oh cool. You were captain Benny. Yeah, AHOI made
uh under under black flag. We shall sail obey the
captain or learned to you know, learn to sail. Ever,
so my brother was there. So along with my brother,
(25:50):
we took turns driving the vessel around the harbor. And
so you can now call me black Beard Benny, shiver
me chimber. This isn't that what pirates say? All right? Yeah?
Were you like John Candy in that classic eighties film
where you found out that there were tons of frozen
fish down below you had to throw them overboard? To
(26:11):
get more speed. I could only wish we were in
a boat that big to have frozen fish underneath, But
I I'd be the ruler of seven c So I
jotted down a couple of notes from my experiences black Beard. Benny,
have you ever done this, Danny? Have you ever rented
a boat before? Okay, then neither of I. It's very expensive, right,
(26:34):
So that's the first thing. And my this particularly, my
wife did not take a nap. She she got up
early because we had to do some some early daytime
stuff because my relatives were on East Coast time, and
so when she doesn't get a nap, she's not very happy.
And so she was kind of he was She was nice,
but you could tell she was annoyed that she didn't
(26:55):
get it. So she reminded me as we're driving the boat,
she reminds me that we don't have insurance for the boat.
And she keeps telling me us and and so okay,
she said they didn't offer. She said, if if we
crashed the boat, we have to then pay out of
(27:18):
pocket to repair this boat and whatever other boat. If
it's our fault, we have to take care. Yeah, so
this was not a problem, Danny, until about twenty five
minutes into the boat. Right, we're driving through the back channels.
They're in Newport Beach, beautiful amazing yachts all over the place,
(27:42):
and I'm I'm in the captain's chair. We we drive
by one of these yachts and in the back we
spotted a sea lion that was just laying down chilling. Now,
let me explain, this is a beautiful creature on from
God's green Earth, and this thing was taking a nap.
(28:02):
You know those dinghies in the back of the yachts
that they used to get to get to the land,
And so there was a dinghy behind this multimillion dollar
yacht and this massive like sea lions laying in the
in the dinghy. So we go by. I'm driving cruising,
I should say, we go by the dinghy with the
(28:27):
sea lion, and everyone's like, oh, you gotta turn around,
and I want to. I want to get a better look. Right,
I'm getting peer pressure. I've never turned a fucking boat around.
I don't know what the hell I'm doing, right, So, okay,
I want to make everyone happy. I want to make
this the greatest experience they could have. They wanted me
to circle back. So I, of course do as best
(28:51):
as I can. I think it's like I'm out in
a car and I attempt to maneuver the boat. I'm
finagling the boat around. Wait did this boat have a
backup camera? Yeah? No, no, no, no no, we wish. So
now keep in mind, I again, i'd never driven a boat.
The only experience I had was at Disneyland, which i'm
(29:11):
dating myself. You probably remember this, Danny, if you went
back in the day, if you're of a certain age,
But they used to have this thing called the Motor
Boat Cruise, which was it was right on the border
of Fantasy Land and Tomorrowland, and it was like the
boat equivalent of Autopia, right, So they had this for years.
It closed in the nineties and it's you know, it's
(29:35):
long gone and all that that sounds familiar. Yeah, that's
my only experience on a boat where you're on a
track going acrossing the waterways at Disneyland. So I don't
know what I'm doing. Some kid, I was a young
guy at the boat rental. He spends less than five
minutes explaining how to drive the boat. And I'm not
(29:58):
exactly like five minutes. He's like he's explaining how here's
it forward backwards, here's what not to do, here's what
to do if this happens, and then bam, we're on
our way. So now we go back. Let me circle
back to the sea line where I had to turn
the thing around. So I I flipped the boat around.
I'm able to turn the boat around. But now I
have another problem. I have to now position the boat
(30:22):
between two other yachts, because that way we'd have a
nice view of the sea lion. But more importantly, we'd
be out of the main waterway where there's other boats
blocking the boats. So I'm picturing this in my mind
and it's not going well. So I as I slow
down an attempt to stop the boat, I position the boat.
(30:46):
I jerry rigged the boat in between the two yachts.
And these are very expensive yuyts. These yachts would send
me to bankruptcy. Okay if I if I touch either
one of these yachts with the boat. So so I
the boat's not doing what it's supposed to do. I'm
going in reverse. The thing is floating to the left,
it's supposed to be sitting center or going to the right.
(31:10):
And then I try to turn the power of the
boat off and the thing starts floating. It's on a
collision course to hit this million dollar yacht with all
I mean, it's unbelievable. I'm thinking, here we go Titanic
two point oh. You know, well, not only am I
gonna hit the yacht, everyone's gonna sink in this, this
(31:31):
dopey electric boat. Finally, some real breaking Titanic news from
Marcel to tweet out that's right, that's right. So then
a a good samaritan, my older brother saves the day. Right,
he realizes, holy Cannoli, my brother is about to send
the yacht or the not even we didn't have a yacht.
(31:52):
We had an electric boat. But we're about to send
the boat into the yacht. And so he's telling me
all this. He sees all this rather and what he does,
like Superman or Captain America. He stands up in the boat,
hand to God Danny, and he pushes with his hands
to hit the yacht. But by doing that, he hadn't.
(32:13):
It was he and and my my other cousin they
were able to save the day by using their hands
to push the yacht and and direct the boat. We
were in a way. My right hand was getting a workout,
dodging a collision which would have scraped up the boat
and wowsers. So at this point my wife then gives
(32:36):
me a reminder, we have no insurance. What are you doing?
You know? It's that kind of thing, all right. So
I wanted to walk the plank. I wanted to get
off the boat right there. I was like, this is
not a good experience. I wanted. I wanted to to
pillage and plunder the land or whatever. Yoho yoho. A
(32:57):
pirate's life ain't for me. And uh, it was very
stressful and I don't know that I'll do it again.
And then the other thing was my wife kept telling me.
It's like she said, listen, for every minute we're late,
they're gonna charge us a ridiculous amount of money. If
we go over the ninety minute a lot of time.
Then sucks. Yeah, So there's pressure to get back, and
(33:20):
then there's like, well, you've got to take the boat,
You've got to slow it down. So I'm thinking in
my head, okay, so the same thing is gonna happen.
When I tried to slow down, we hit the yacht.
Now we're gonna try to slow down and we're gonna
run into the little dock and then I'm gonna get
charged because we're gonna gonna But unfortunately did not happen.
We were able to make it back and so that
(33:43):
was my my trip on the waterways. How did you
not hit the dock? It was an active, active, active
God clearly divine intervention. Afterwards, looking back, I think she
enjoyed it. And so she's like, well, now next time
we go out to like Catalina Island off the coast
(34:06):
of l A, will rent a boat, you know, because
then we'll be out in the open ocean. You know,
we could go wrong there, you know. And she's like,
we can die, we can go fishing or not fishing,
but dive out and swim and the water outside Catalina.
So so that was that we gotta get out. We
have backscratcher. They We've got a few backscratchers this week, Danny.
And this is where we blatantly begged you the listener
(34:28):
two support our podcast on the Apple podcast page, and
Danny has been explaining each week how to do that.
If you want to join the fun. If you listen
to the podcast, obviously you're listening to it right now,
you're hearing my voice, and if you would like to
have your voice heard, we will promise to read your
comment good, bad or ugly right here in the backscratcher segment.
(34:50):
And I'm looking here, Danny, and I see one, two, three,
three responses this week, which is pretty good, because there
were some weeks we got none. There were some we
had one. Last week we had a record I think
it was five five responses. But this is solid. If
we can get one, two or three a week, we're
good to go. How can people add on to this, Danny?
(35:12):
How can You're very good at explaining this. You're an
expert at how people can find our show on the
Apple podcast page. Yeah. I was just gonna say there
were weeks where there was zero or one to three,
but there were always several emails to us saying I
can't figure it out. I want to give a review,
but I can't figure it out. It's pretty easy. Right here,
(35:34):
go into the description of the podcast. There is a
link to subscribe, review and rate the podcast. When you
click on that link page down, you'll see the big
four point nine, which is our overall rating, and right
under that it says, write a review and click on
that you make a user name, and then you are
(35:55):
able to write an Apple podcast review. Alright, so it's
it's not that hard, like anything. Once you figure it out, Yeah,
you'll be able to do it whenever you want. First
of all, one is from ah Ah. I believe it's
the name. That's the name. They put great general podcast,
much more than sports. You're right. In fact, we hardly
(36:18):
ever talked about uh. This is a great podcast about
the trials and tribulations of life in general, but not
just sports. It shows a side of Ben that you
don't get to see or here on the daily sports
talk show. Ben and his guy Danny g have a
great chemistry and entertaining salt of the earth attitude towards
(36:40):
the daily grind of living in so Cow. No Davis here,
that's right, Danny, We're not. D's absolutely not. MJ wrote,
and he says, another great weekend of shows. Brent Musburger
was excellent. I love that you are looking live just
thinking about Musburger in the nineties seventies and hanging out
(37:01):
with gamblers and him. Okay, here's my code for the gamblers.
Before the NFL games hilarious, larious. I love that he
definitely used to hang out and party with the mob
back in the day. You know, the gumbas says he
said about John Gruden. Right, the revolting parts of society.
Shall we say all right? Uh? B H and k
(37:23):
C rights and he says garlic to the throat. Ben
and Danny Gee, you can be entertained throughout the weekend
with your banter and real world commentary. I love anytime
Ben mentions the landing in Liberty, Missouri, home of the
Ben Mallard chicken fingers. That's my hometown, BH, says Ben.
(37:44):
Since this is the podcast, can you give a shout
out to the Liberty Blue Jays each time you mentioned
the Lenning No, look, look listen, b H. As you
know this is a podcast, this is not a morning
Zoo show. We cannot give us out to the Liberty
Blue Jays. That would be wrong. We can't tell people
to support the landing and Liberty to order the basket
of Ben Mallory chicken fingers, to tell people that you
(38:06):
attend that restaurant just because of the Ben Mallory chicken figures.
It would be wrong to do all that. Right there,
I'm glad that you won't do stuff like that. I
will not do that. I will certainly not say I
hope the Liberty Blue Jays do very well. I can't
because it would be like amateur Zoo morning show hour
and exactly. Obviously you're not a diva, but you are
a radio professional, and those people get paid a lot
(38:28):
of money. I every time I contract this up, and
I'm actually in a negotiation right now, I have a
happy ending. But I am reminded that there are two
worlds in radio. There's the six am to six pm,
and there's the six pm to six am, and the
haves and the have nots. And uh so, I I'm
reminded when when it's time for the contract, which half
(38:51):
I am in really quick, what's the team that we're
too professional to mention? Again? Well, that would be the
Liberty Blue Jays, all right, but I can't. You know again,
Liberty Missouri can't do it. Uh b H says, keep
up a great work, gentlemen. Your preparation, dedication to the craft,
and reliability makes for engaging content. Well that was well written.
That was so good. I feel like I need eat
(39:12):
some ben mallow chicken figures. At the landing in Liberty,
Missouri while I'm watching the Liberty Blue Jays, unless that's
not the case, Danny, anything to promote here, anything at all, Danny,
anything you would like to tell people about. You've got
a radio schedule this weekend, it's Saturday, or what do
you have going on? Well, first of all, before I
get to this weekend, a programming note. I am gonna
(39:33):
be on your live show filling in hey Monday night
into Tuesday morning. Oh outstand. Yeah, so that's gonna be
a lot of fun. Before we get there. Saturday Saturday,
I'm gonna be on the jam Packed l A Freeways
going into Produce Hartman and Shorts, and then after that
Brian no with from salon the No Show. Alright, very good,
(39:58):
have a great rest of your day today, whatever you're doing,
and we'll catch you. Get the mail bag up next,
warming up for our next podcast. We'll talk to you then,
have a great day. Asta pasta population
Host
Ben Maller
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