September 4, 2022 • 37 mins
Ben Maller is in the studio with Danny G. and they're having some podcast fun with the mail bag for your Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
into the mail Bag edition of The Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny G. Radio. Now, since this is
(00:45):
a podcast and we don't announce when we're recording the podcast,
there are no calls like the phones even though they ring, Danny,
we're not we're not answering the phone. Maybe at some
point we'll do that. We'll figure out a way logistically,
there are ways to do it. But we have the mailbag.
It is our chance to interact with you, the listeners,
(01:09):
and let's get right into it. Danny G, what do
you say, do you have it? Do announced before we
get into it? No, just your thought about the phones there.
People spend way too much damn time on their phones.
Unless you're using your phone to listen to this podcast,
then it's okay. Yes, And I did meet some people people.
I mentioned Dottie from the Friday podcast and she does
(01:32):
not have email. She does not have a computer. Dotty
told me that. I said, why don't you, I'll email.
I think I was gonna email or something, and Dottie's like, no, no,
I go to the library. That's how I used the
computer at the library. Can you imagine, Danny, how much
more difficult would our lives be with what we do.
(01:53):
We would all have meltdowns if we did not have
access to a computer. And when you have a smartphone
on it, you've got a radio, you've got a television,
you've got a computer. They can spy on you. Big
brother can spy on you at any moment. They know
where you are, the shopping cart. It's exactly. It is
(02:17):
one of the great conveniences. And I don't know, maybe
financially she can't afford that. I have no idea, but listen,
you listen, however you listen. That's how people get hookers
in cocaine. Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Whether you whether
you listen on terrestrial radio regular regularly. I did see
(02:37):
Danny Fox Sports Radio upgrading our affiliate in San Diego,
the San Diego market. Poppy actually told me this on
the air the other night. We went from thirteen sixty
on the AM dial to seven sixty on the amw
which is great. It's a much more powerful station in
San Diego. And so they flipped the conservative talk station,
(03:02):
the Patriot San Diego version, that went to the higher
frequency and we went on the lower frequency. So that
was kind of cool. But the problem with San Diego radio,
and I know this when I worked in San Diego,
is that the transmitters are all pretty powerful, but they're
facing the Pacific Ocean. So you're broadcasting if only blue
(03:23):
books blue whales, rather if only blue whales, dolphins, seals,
uh fish, schools of fish, yes, and guys working on
oil rigs, if only they could be credited with listening
to the programming, the audience would be much bigger. Now.
That was one of the great things about working at
a border blaster station that was not governed by the FCC,
(03:46):
because the mighty six ninety was booming just the same
but different. It was booming across the United States as
opposed to out to the Pacific Ocean, so little inside
radio mumbo jumbo and all that. But let's get to
the mailbag right now, and our buddy, ohio Wow, it's
(04:13):
mail bag, all right, thank you for that, Ohio Wow.
And let's see who is first. I got mail, Yeah,
I got mail. Yeah. Reminder, if you want to be
part of the mailbag, you don't have to wait for
me to post something on Facebook. I do it every
(04:35):
Monday or Tuesday, usually in the afternoon, sometimes in the
morning on the Facebook page. I'll put a funny gift
on there, and then you can submit a question or
you can just email me right now. You don't have
to wait if you have a witty question, something about
the show, something about something that has happened in the past.
Danny G. You want to ask him what his life's
like my life. You want to ask Danny G what
(04:57):
it's like to be in a school and being around
kids all the time. Uh, ask me what it's like
to have no life and not do anything other than radio.
You can ask me any of those questions and Danny
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Make sure to
spell it out Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
First one comes from Cliff from Nashville's has Been and
Danny G. Y'all said, I was pranking you with the
(05:20):
broom straw checking the rightness of a watermelon. Have you
have you had the opportunity to try it? Uh? And
he also says, please Ben, take the West of the
four oh five off your podcast promos and replace it
with Danny G. He is worthy. Al right. So as
far as the podcast promo thing, I don't know anything
about that, Danny, I'm not sure how that works. I
(05:43):
think I Heart has an old version of the promo.
They've been sticking it in some of the podcasts. Yeah,
so it's away from what we do. Unfortunately, we're not
in charge of that. Well, that is his disrespect. That's
not right. There has to be away. I know this
is a major bureauqu to see and there's a lot
of layers at iHeart Media, but there has to be
a way that we can get rid of that. There's
(06:07):
some central command that we can go to and just
simply trade out the old promo for the new promo.
We could record a new promo, Danny. I'm willing to
do that. We can write some new copy. I I
believe I am capable of doing that. We can come
up with some new dogma and toss it in there
and boom, it'll be unfreaking believable. Danny. Yeah, we talk
(06:29):
for all these hours. I think we're okay to talk
for thirty seconds. Yeah. Well, of course, it's like it's
like the difference between television and radio. Like people that
do television and go to radio have a much harder
time typically than people that go from radio to television
because it's a whole different skill set in terms of
(06:50):
the amount of time. Ask Pat O'Brien p o b
who's been on this podcast, the Great Pat O'Brien. Anyway,
as far as the watermelon thing, I have not check
the watermelon. I have stuck to my original watermelon technique
where you look for the watermelon that's all scratched up
because that's that's the sweetest watermelon, because the bugs were
(07:11):
trying to get into the critters were trying to get
into the watermelon. So that's what I do. Have you
have you, Danny, been able to try the broom straw
technique for the water from our past conversations, I also
now have been looking for the ones that are the
most scratched up, and has that worked for you? Yeah? Okay,
my TENDERNI picked out a watermelon just a week ago,
(07:34):
and it looked all scratched up, and it was bright
red inside and juicy and over me had enough sweetness
to it. It was perfect. It's a great life hack
because most people don't know it, and they would avoid
those watermelons because they think there's something wrong with and
they look beat up. The simpleton will say, no, no, no,
(07:57):
that's a cautionary watermelon. Do not do not touch that watermelon.
That's there's storm clouds around that watermelon. And we know better,
all right. I next up on there the mail bag.
These are actual messages by actual lists. Mr Luciano says, Hey, Ben,
(08:17):
no question, Yeah, no question asked for you and Danny G.
I just want to say thank you. Mr Luciano says,
thanks again. It was a pleasure meeting both of you.
Great times. Keep doing what you doubt well. Thank you,
Mr Luciano. A fine night we had together that we
will remember, and I'm sure you you remember. Mr Luciano.
(08:42):
It was great meeting you, and I'm glad you were
able to make it and hang out and you stayed
long enough for Danny and the whole the whole deal
you've got mail, Kevin and Kansas writes, and he says,
dear Ben and Danny, g with your recent car issues,
have either of you gone for walks recently or has
life been too busy for that right now? Ben, is
(09:02):
your new area just as nice for walking as the
old place? So I answer that one first. Kevin. First
of all, I hope live Street in ull. Kevin is
a teacher as well, Danny, so he's in the education world.
Where I live now, Kevin, there's actually more trails to walk.
It's an amazing place where I where I reside, and
(09:24):
I've done a little bit of it lately. I'm not
gonna lie. It's been too hot and I just haven't
been able to to get out and wander the trails
and whatnot. I hope to get back to that. I
love going on nature hikes. I love walking to like waterfalls.
There's a great one up in Pasadena, in the Pasadena
(09:44):
area of southern California. Danny, I don't know if you've
done any of that hiking to waterfalls, but it's it's
pretty cool. There's a a bridge that goes to nowhere,
the bridge to Nowhere, which is out above Azuza in
southern California. I'd like to go there at some point.
But I like stuff like that. But I answer your question, Kevin,
(10:07):
I have not really done much of that recently. I
have been going to the gym. My treadmill, my dear
beloved treadmill is covered in dust, and at some point
the crowd will go wild because that thing will work again.
Just be careful with that bridge to nowhere, because everybody
in southern California knows that's where the chakra lives. Oh
(10:30):
is that right? Uh? The boogeyman. You gotta watch out
for the boogeyman. What about you, Danny? You have told
stories about how you've gone. You have the e bike,
You've done a little bit of that. But have you
been wandering the mean streets of the valley. It was
two weekends ago. I tried to take a Saturday morning
(10:52):
walk after I finished post production of the podcast. I
told my TENDERRONI, I'll go out with you. As she
was walking the dog dog Daisy, who looks like a
squirrel ear. She had to pick Daisy up because it
was hot. Her dog he didn't want to touch the concrete.
And then we get to where the grass was up top.
(11:13):
She was being grouchy. She kept complaining about everything, and
I told her, I'm like, you know, you're just complaining NonStop,
right And she's like, I'm sorry, it's just too damn
hot to take a walk. We came back to the
A C. And she was her wonderful self again. That's
how hot it's been here. It's been been nasty. And
(11:33):
a few more, few more weeks ago by Halloween. Yeah,
maybe maybe by Halloween. All right, let's see here, all right,
come back. It's Kevin is in Rockford, Illinois. So back
to back, belly to belly, Kevin and Kansas. Now Kevin
and Rockford, Illinois a regular. It's like Kevin and Kevin
(11:54):
is like a law firm or a morning show. Are
you coming and coming in the morning? And Kevin, we'll
have traffic on the ones and fun on the twos.
One thousand dollars up for grabs in ten minutes. This
is a national contest anyway, Kevin in Illinois, who sends
(12:14):
a really good questions quite a bit, just like Kevin
and Kansas. He says, I'm heading back to Colorado next week.
The hike. Another Colorado fourteener and just so Danny g
does not feel left out, I will yet again change
the name of the mountain and it shall be called
Tinderroni Mountain. Can I have a request? Can please call
(12:37):
it Tinderoni Tip, Tinderoni Tip Mountain, even better, Tinderoni Tip Mountain.
Kevin says, we're camping out at the base of the
mountain and I just bought a miniature black stone griddle
to cook cook on a camp What do you guys
recommend as a good camping meal. Oh that you're gonna
(12:59):
love the griddle. Even those small griddles are great. The
smash burger is wonderful on a griddle. It's it just
takes some obviously some ground beef and make sure it's
cold whatnot. But and you can use it like a
pot to squish the burger down with a turkey burger.
You can do that with a turkey burger too. I've
done that. I've done ground turkey that works as well.
(13:23):
I love the Philly cheese steak, which is probably not
a good idea on a hike. But you can make
breakfast foods omelets, bacon, anything your heart desires. I am
all about the griddle. I have a Blackstone griddle. Dare
you they're not an advertiser. They should be. I love
(13:45):
I freaking love that thing. It's a wonderful thing. Kevin.
Make sure it takes some good photos though, of the
TENDERNI tips signed Tenderoni Tips Mountain and put put Danny
g s Tenderoni Tips Mountain. That's a lot of writing. No,
just call the tip since he's up at the top
of it. Oh, there you go, yeah tip. Yeah, all right,
and I think I saw that. But thank you Kevin,
(14:11):
Good luck, safe travels, enjoy you stay at the top
of the mountain. If I hiked to the top of
the mountain, I would not want to leave the top
of the mountain. I just want to stay there and
be like, all right, this is a lot of work.
I'm just gonna hang out here. You've got mail, all right.
Next up we go to Mike in Wisconsin. He says, hey, guys,
would you rather give up air conditioning and heating for
(14:34):
the rest of your life or give up the Internet
for the rest of your life? Well, this is interesting.
I think we just talked about Dottie, who does not
lives her life. She does not have the internet. She
hates this show hates me. I gotta tell you, I
am so in the internet world for work. Like, if
(14:54):
I didn't have this job, I probably wouldn't really worry
that much about it. If I had like a job
where I didn't need to worry about being updated on stuff.
But the Internet is everything. The Internet is radio, it's television,
it's movies, it's everything. You'd have to give up all
of that about just giving up the Internet for one
season because I don't care about the heater. I don't
(15:16):
use the heater, not where we live. Yeah, you don't
really need that. No, I need the A C though badly. Yeah.
Oh man, I already I don't know about you. I
already run hot. So when it gets super hot outside
then I'm a mess. Like I don't want to be
out there where that sun is blazing down on you.
(15:37):
I need to find that air conditioning or some shade. Yeah, so, Mike,
would I rather? I would rather give up the heating
and the air conditioning if I had to make that
Sophie's choice call than the Internet. But my life would
be so much more uncomfortable. Although at the same time,
we've heard so many stories over the years, Danny that
(15:58):
like washing In d c. They call it the swamp.
We love big Ben. Big Ben's a friend of mine.
The reason they called it the swamp originally because it
was oppressively hot and humid like a swamp. It still is,
but the politicians now they call it the swamp because
of the politicians, but they The worst thing that happened
(16:20):
for politics is the air conditioning. Because everyone used to
get out of Washington, d c uh in the summertime
because it was so nasty and it was just horrible.
And our friend Marlin's man told me the story about
how in in Florida it was the same thing that
it was. Real estate was cheap. Nobody wanted to live
(16:41):
in Florida because it was so nasty most of the
year with the humidity, and people could not handle it.
From the north, the northerners that would come down. And
then once air conditioning became a thing, suddenly it didn't
matter anymore and people would just Conditioning also helped build
(17:01):
Las Vegas. That's right. There is no lost Las Vegas
without without that, all right. The next up Chris in Marraccata, Iowa.
He says, guys, what was the most embarrassing moment you
had in high school? Well, there are there are so
many nightmare moments in high school, Like how do you
(17:24):
sum up one one moment in time? I have very
uh troubling memories of the fitness test in football, trying
to beat a certain time and having to do it
over and over again. Well, all my teammates are like,
you fat ass, what's wrong with you? That was a
(17:44):
that was a nightmare. And then there were some like
random things, awkward moments with girls in high school where
you're I was. I was very shy, I'm introvert then
and it was very weird and uh so anything in particular, Danny,
though you you remember from high school that you haven't
recently told that. He Yeah, it was my sophomore year
(18:06):
and I was in the Electronics r OP program. She
was a freshman. I was a sophomore, and she would
flirt with me in that class every day. And there
was a separate class attached where they actually had old
TVs and things like that for us to use the
soldering irons on and in that little room. She and
(18:27):
I went back there and uh, we were grinding, We
were doing some things we shouldn't have been doing on
school hours, and the electronics teacher walked in and caught us,
and I thought for sure he was going to call
my mom. I was embarrassed because of what he caught
(18:47):
us doing. Then it was you acting like you were
in an A's game or a Blue Jay's game. No,
it wasn't anything that torrid, but it was let's just
say it was R. Kelly his hit song Up and Grind. Okay,
I felt like at any moment he could pick up
the phone and call my mom and get me in trouble.
That's the one memory that comes to mind where I
(19:09):
was embarrassed about something. Although she was good looking, I
wasn't embarrassed about that part. It was just what he
caught us doing red handed. He could have held that
over your head the entire I guess. Yeah, he could
have blackmailed me. He actually lived two blocks away from us,
and so my mom she met him, and she knew
(19:31):
him because my older brother was in his electronics class.
So I don't want to say he was a friend
of the family, but he definitely knew my mom well
enough to where he could have talked to her and
got me busted. Wow. So okay, that's good. So that's
a cool He didn't do it though. Yeah, thank you
Mr Hoskins for not getting me grounded for a month. Now,
(19:52):
kids are gonna be kids, right are you gonna You're
gonna do stuff as long as you don't cross certain lines.
You gotta live your life. Why not? All right? Next
up is Eric from Parts Unknown. He says, Hey, guys,
what I guess this is for me? What is the
most unprepared you've ever been for a show? And how
(20:12):
did you get through it? Yeah? So I over prepare Eric.
But there have been times a few times over the
years where I've been at the studio, I've been on
my way out and who whoever was supposed to do
the show next they couldn't connect to their studio and
so they're like, hey, can you start the morning show?
(20:33):
And I'd be like, okay, hello, hello, and but I
don't have any but sero. So often I just kind
of rehash stuff that I've done. There have been times
where I've put some notes down. Usually the way it
(20:54):
works is I I go to my my home studio,
my office, and I'll prepare for the show, and then
when I go oheen, I'll email myself. So I have everything,
and then I'll print everything up on the company dime,
and that's how we do things. And so sometimes though,
I was in such a rush to get out that
I forgot to actually send the email that had all
(21:15):
my notes for the show, and so I just had
to kind of wing it. And the weird thing I've
noticed is that when I've had that happen, has happened
a few times where I've not really been prepared the
way I should be, nobody really seems to notice. It's
like nobody like I guess I'm able to fake it
till you make it, or I've done it enough that
(21:35):
it's I'm able to do it. I don't. I don't figure.
I don't prefer to do that. I like to have preparation.
I don't want to I don't want to just wing
it totally, because you know, people give up the most
valuable thing they have to listen to radio and or
have it be a part of your life, and I
feel it's it's wrong to do it. Now, there are
(21:56):
plenty of people that do it that way. I don't
like to do it, but it has happened. Eric. To
answer your question, to my to my knowledge, no one's
ever said. I've never got an email saying, hey, you
didn't do the normal thing you normally do because I
I'm able to still present a similar product just in
my head, in my neurosis. It's not as good as
(22:16):
it could be. All right, what is next? We have
a Shane in Texas. He writes, and he says, if
you had one wish from a genie in a bottle,
and you could only pick one, would you rather have?
And I guess it's these two things Shane is saying,
not Genie and mentor, but Genie like a genie in
(22:37):
about I said, but these are the only two things
you got to pick from. Would you rather have perfect
teeth or perfect hair? All right? So for me this
is easy maybe for both of us. I don't know
the hair thing because I don't I don't really notice,
Like if you have really nasty teeth, I guess I'll notice,
But I don't really like stare at people's teeth. But
(22:58):
it's hard to avoid hair because it's you see it.
I wear hats all the time because my hair is
thanks to my my my grandparents and my grandfather or whatever.
It's it's gone. Yeah, like he I guess I would pay.
I would pick if my genie in a bottle could
only give me one of those two things, I would
pick flowing locks. That's what I would pick. Danny, I
(23:21):
like Sampson, I would be with the locks. What about
you now? Back when you were dating? And I mean, man,
I I know that was a period in your life
where you had a lot going on, but were you
would it bother you if a girl had a jacked
up grill or like her hair was thinning, because I
think the jacked up grill is worse. Yeah. See, well
(23:44):
that's a different I'm talking about. Yeah, I guess in dating. Yeah,
But like I like, what do I really care if
my buddy Jimmy has messed up teeth? You know, give
a crap. I'm not gonna kiss him. You pay me
five dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine. Uh so it
doesn't really matter to me. Um yeah, I mean I'm
with you. For us, the fabio here would be amazing, Yeah,
(24:09):
because I think we already have some decent teeth for
anyone listening in England right now. Sorry not to take
a shot at you, not the stereotype, but yeah, but
they're known for some teeth that maybe needs some dental work.
I guess I agree with you, But I also think
about that question and I turn it around, like, is
that a physical trait people would pay attention to when
(24:32):
they're dating? Yeah, that that would not be Uh, what's
the word I'm looking for, a DGAC or whatever, the
afrodza afrodesiac. Yeah, that's the word I was looking for.
Easier for me to say. But but yeah, that would
not enhance the situation. And but on your second date,
you could take her to the dentist. Yes, I have
(24:55):
a great dentist. I want to recommend. You're really gonna
like this dentist. Oh man, is this a great dentist?
I got one hell of an orthodonist on my payroll. Baby,
all right, no way, Jose rights and he says, if
you can be reincarnated, but only as an animal, any animal,
(25:16):
when you die, what would you want to be? All right?
So if you come back to the same planet, I
guess I would pick like a blue whale. Don't they
live to be like two hundred years old? Or a
tortoise or something like that. Although I guess if you're
a blue whale, you don't want to go through some
(25:37):
of the h I guess I'll stereotype here some of
the countries where they're in in the Asian countries where
they love to hunt the whales, right, harpoon the whales
and all that. Don't they fry up the whale peoples. Yeah,
it's a it's a culinary delight. I think. I don't
think you're I don't think you're kidding. I think they're
like every part of the whale is very, very valuable.
(25:59):
But I so I'd be in the ocean, but i'd
avoid the whalers. Not the Hartford Whalers, the old hockey team,
but the whalers. I would what animal would you be, Danny,
If you could be any animal reincarnated, you're coming back
and you're out there doing your thing. I would definitely
want to come back as the king of the jungle.
(26:19):
I would. I would be a lion for sure, all right. Yeah,
nobody picks like a cockroach. No one's like, I want
to come back and I want to be an aunt.
I want to be a worker aunt or a worker
b No one ever picks that. They always pick whale, lion, tiger, rhino, hippo,
you name if I was a hippo, I would be
(26:39):
the hungry hippo. I would definitely be the hungry hippo.
You'd be the fasting hippo. Yeah, exactly. Well, if I
was living the life I'm living now, Barry in Nashville
rights and he says, yo yo, mob, Benny. Have you
ever watched the show Naked and Afraid on Discover Channel?
Discovery Channel, I have not. Have you seen that show? Danny? Oh, yeah,
(27:01):
I've seen a couple of seasons of it, all right,
he says, if not. It's where they drop off two
contestants into a remote location where the contestants have no
clothes and can only bring one survival item a knife,
a fishing line, et cetera of their choice. They then
have to fend for themselves for food and building a shelter.
(27:23):
The contest typically last for twenty one days. They then
they hike out and considered to have complete completed the
challenge if they make it to the end of the
twenty one days. The question is who from your crew
would make it the longest and how many minutes, hours,
or days would they last? Man? All right, So there
(27:44):
was a show that I used to watch where this
guy would land in a place remote area, but he'd
be dropped off by himself and then he'd record everything.
But that's not naked and afraid. This was This was
They wasn't naked. This is something else. There's another great
show you could watch on Netflix right now called A
(28:05):
Loan where different contestants get dropped off somewhere where it's crazy,
crazy environment. But they're they're wearing clothes, but they're by
themselves and they have to fend for food and try
to outlast all of the other contestants on that same island.
So it's pretty cool. But for your staff, Ben, I'm
(28:27):
trying to think, who could really make it out there
in the in the wilderness if there's no drive through
his coop would not make it. Roberto would probably be
okay cooking wise, he'd be able to cook. But then
you gotta kill and cook him. Yeah, you have to
catch fish too, that's the key. The ones who made
it the longest on the Loan are the ones who
(28:47):
are able to catch fish. It's very difficult without a
fishing line to catch a fish though with your bare hands.
If you don't, they made contraptions they put together like
a Jerry rigged fishing net to catch fish overnight, then
you gotta gut the fish and that whole thing. Yeah,
and those bamboo contraptions where you know the fish can
(29:09):
fit in but then can't get out. Yeah, I guess.
So I answer your question. I would go with you,
Danny G. I think you do okay, because you've watched
the show, so you know what to do with you.
I could build a fort, that's for sure, and I
think I would be able to catch a couple of fish.
There you go. You got that going for you. I'd
have no chance. I would just say, okay, I'm not
gonna eat for twenty one days. I'll go to Keynes.
(29:31):
When I get back, I'll have the candy at Combo.
I'm good to go. Thank you, Verry. I appreciate that.
The next one from Pierre, try to pick up the
pacer a little bit, Pierre says, writing from my safe space,
He says, cuddling my therapy dog with one arm and
clutching my crayons and crushing the keys with the other.
(29:52):
Danny G mentioned the Nerve football during last week's mailbag,
and this got me feeling nostalgic for toys from my youth,
did either of you have and it's a football? Growing up,
this was a soft rubber football that you could throw
super tight spirals with as well as further than a
NERF football. Also, did you guys have any other toys
(30:16):
that you enjoyed? Possibly ones that your friends had that
you didn't always also wanting to go over to their
house to play. Maybe we be weebls, ben, he says,
because they wobble and they don't fall down. Well, I
did see the wee bol you sent a photo here,
and I have. I have seen those. I don't recall
(30:39):
playing with them as a as a kid. I remember
seeing them though as a kid. So is that Have
you ever heard of the what he called it, the
it's a football? No, and I looked it up right now.
I'm I'm not sure what he's referring to. My older
brother and I we had a Los Angeles Raiders football
and it was it was almost like jelly like, if
(31:01):
that makes sense the material it was made out of. Huh.
It felt like it was filled with gel and you
could chuck that thing far. Yeah, I'm looking at the
the it's a ball and it does. Actually, it does
remind me of something I had as a as a kid.
It does remind me of that, so I'm gonna go yes,
(31:24):
I didn't know the name of it, though, How did
you know the name of Pierre. What's the name of it?
I t z A this type of it's a ball
or it's a football or you know, one of those,
and it does look like a nerve product, but it's
not a nerve product. It's similar to Yeah, that look familiar. Yeah, yeah,
(31:45):
we we had those when we're around the same age.
We had those as far as like games and towards
nothing off the top of my head. Most of my childhood,
even though I was the fat kid, we went out
and played stickball in the name ro We played baseball.
We had we used tennis balls or racquet balls, and
we'd play with the neighborhood kids. We had great fun.
(32:07):
We'd run through the orange groves and have fights orange fights.
And you haven't lived until you've been hit by an orange.
And you haven't lived until you've been chased by soldiers
who are drinking in the orange groves from the local
military base. You really haven't lived your life until you've
done those things. Next up Mike from Home and not
(32:28):
gridlocked traffic, apparently not in Fullerton anymore. He says, I
have an original question for you. It might not be
a very good one, but at least I didn't steal
it from another podcast like Pierre did last week, Wow
Shots Fire. He says, do either of you have a
memorable story about losing a tooth? For me, it's when
I didn't notice one of my baby teeth came out
(32:51):
while biting into a Rocky Road ice cream corner. I
accidentally ate it. Yeah. No, I was eating Tito's tacos
as a I was a grown up person, and I
bit into the taco and I felt my tooth kind
of like a little bit of a crack. That's a
(33:11):
bad feeling. That's the world. And then you're like, how
bad is it? Maybe I'm imagining it, Maybe it was
something in the taco, and yeah, that was bad. Any
memorable stories about losing a tooth? Danny? I do remember
that my mom did that old trick with my older
brother where she was trying to tie the dental floss
onto his loose tooth, and she pulled the line and
(33:35):
I think she was attempting maybe to tie it to
a door knob and I didn't know what they were doing,
so I came running into the room. You know, um
three years younger than him, So I'm wild. I don't
know what they're doing, and I come running into the room,
and I ran into the line inadvertently pulled his tooth out.
He was bleeding at the mouth, screaming and yelling at
(33:57):
me for for violently pulling his tooth out. That is
that is horrible when you're not prepared for it. Oh man.
I think my mom was trying to be funny with
her whole dental faust thing, and I came in and
spoiled their fun great, not for him. Uh, that's that's funny. Uh,
(34:19):
John and Northern Colorado rights in John says, have you
ever explained to your lady that you have the toilet
seat up because she's just going to lift it anyway
to check for spiders? Ah, he says, I think that's
more like for Cooper Loop. I think that might be well,
Coop's actually the one should leave the toilet seat up
because he for the spiders and all that, and uh,
(34:43):
thank you, John Glass One. Joe from New York says,
what's worse doing the dishes or the laundry, so this
is easy. I'm the dishwasher, Joe. I'm the professional dishwasher.
That's my job. I feel a great sense of satisfaction
when I washed the dishes. I feel like I've accomplished something.
(35:04):
I love a big sink full of dishes and then
methodically going through the dishes and putting them, you know,
rinching them all off, and then putting them in the
dishwasher and arranging. It's like a jigsaw puzzle to get
everything in the dishwasher. So I love that. And the
laundry thing. Here's my take on laundry, Danny. I don't
(35:24):
mind washing and drawing the laundry. I hate putting laundry away.
So that's my my, my problem with laundry. What about you, quickly, Yeah,
we know what your exercise bike in your treadmill looks like.
Of course, um yeah, I mean you and my Tinderoni
are a bunch of freaks when it comes to dishes,
(35:45):
because dishes suck. Um. I would much rather do laundry.
The problem is, I'm fine with the washing. Taking it
out of the hot dryer really bothers me because instantly
you start sweating and so the heat of the dryer
bothers me. But I would still rather do laundry well
and then. But also you have the link guard. You've
(36:05):
got to make sure otherwise you'll have a fire. Right. Yeah,
very imported advice there on the podcast. Thank you. I'm
here to help. Don't don't have your house burned down
because you didn't take the lynch out of the dryer. Please,
I beg of you, I beg of you. All right,
we'll get out on that. Danny, what do you have
going on today? I know I'll be back tonight on
the radio, this being the Sunday show, so we'll be
(36:26):
back yapping away Sunday night. It's a game week to
his foot, that's right. I was just gonna say, this
is the week finally. Damn it's here finally. Yeah. I'm
gonna be in having fun with Covino and Rich on
Sunday afternoon into the early evening and then the show
right before yours Chris Plank and Arnie Spaniard, and that
(36:47):
is of course the lead into your first show of
the week. It's my pregame show. So ye have those
guys and I'll be back yapping away all night long.
Have a great rest of your weekend. Thanks for supporting
the podcast, Tell a friend about it. Remember you can
email a question for next week's mail bag Real Fifth
Hour at gmail dot com, and we'll talk to you
(37:07):
next time. Bumping and grinding later, skater, oh double out there.
Look at that, we got two outs on that population.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
into the mail Bag edition of The Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny G. Radio. Now, since this is
(00:45):
a podcast and we don't announce when we're recording the podcast,
there are no calls like the phones even though they ring, Danny,
we're not we're not answering the phone. Maybe at some
point we'll do that. We'll figure out a way logistically,
there are ways to do it. But we have the mailbag.
It is our chance to interact with you, the listeners,
(01:09):
and let's get right into it. Danny G, what do
you say, do you have it? Do announced before we
get into it? No, just your thought about the phones there.
People spend way too much damn time on their phones.
Unless you're using your phone to listen to this podcast,
then it's okay. Yes, And I did meet some people people.
I mentioned Dottie from the Friday podcast and she does
(01:32):
not have email. She does not have a computer. Dotty
told me that. I said, why don't you, I'll email.
I think I was gonna email or something, and Dottie's like, no, no,
I go to the library. That's how I used the
computer at the library. Can you imagine, Danny, how much
more difficult would our lives be with what we do.
(01:53):
We would all have meltdowns if we did not have
access to a computer. And when you have a smartphone
on it, you've got a radio, you've got a television,
you've got a computer. They can spy on you. Big
brother can spy on you at any moment. They know
where you are, the shopping cart. It's exactly. It is
(02:17):
one of the great conveniences. And I don't know, maybe
financially she can't afford that. I have no idea, but listen,
you listen, however you listen. That's how people get hookers
in cocaine. Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Whether you whether
you listen on terrestrial radio regular regularly. I did see
(02:37):
Danny Fox Sports Radio upgrading our affiliate in San Diego,
the San Diego market. Poppy actually told me this on
the air the other night. We went from thirteen sixty
on the AM dial to seven sixty on the amw
which is great. It's a much more powerful station in
San Diego. And so they flipped the conservative talk station,
(03:02):
the Patriot San Diego version, that went to the higher
frequency and we went on the lower frequency. So that
was kind of cool. But the problem with San Diego radio,
and I know this when I worked in San Diego,
is that the transmitters are all pretty powerful, but they're
facing the Pacific Ocean. So you're broadcasting if only blue
(03:23):
books blue whales, rather if only blue whales, dolphins, seals,
uh fish, schools of fish, yes, and guys working on
oil rigs, if only they could be credited with listening
to the programming, the audience would be much bigger. Now.
That was one of the great things about working at
a border blaster station that was not governed by the FCC,
(03:46):
because the mighty six ninety was booming just the same
but different. It was booming across the United States as
opposed to out to the Pacific Ocean, so little inside
radio mumbo jumbo and all that. But let's get to
the mailbag right now, and our buddy, ohio Wow, it's
(04:13):
mail bag, all right, thank you for that, Ohio Wow.
And let's see who is first. I got mail, Yeah,
I got mail. Yeah. Reminder, if you want to be
part of the mailbag, you don't have to wait for
me to post something on Facebook. I do it every
(04:35):
Monday or Tuesday, usually in the afternoon, sometimes in the
morning on the Facebook page. I'll put a funny gift
on there, and then you can submit a question or
you can just email me right now. You don't have
to wait if you have a witty question, something about
the show, something about something that has happened in the past.
Danny G. You want to ask him what his life's
like my life. You want to ask Danny G what
(04:57):
it's like to be in a school and being around
kids all the time. Uh, ask me what it's like
to have no life and not do anything other than radio.
You can ask me any of those questions and Danny
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Make sure to
spell it out Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
First one comes from Cliff from Nashville's has Been and
Danny G. Y'all said, I was pranking you with the
(05:20):
broom straw checking the rightness of a watermelon. Have you
have you had the opportunity to try it? Uh? And
he also says, please Ben, take the West of the
four oh five off your podcast promos and replace it
with Danny G. He is worthy. Al right. So as
far as the podcast promo thing, I don't know anything
about that, Danny, I'm not sure how that works. I
(05:43):
think I Heart has an old version of the promo.
They've been sticking it in some of the podcasts. Yeah,
so it's away from what we do. Unfortunately, we're not
in charge of that. Well, that is his disrespect. That's
not right. There has to be away. I know this
is a major bureauqu to see and there's a lot
of layers at iHeart Media, but there has to be
a way that we can get rid of that. There's
(06:07):
some central command that we can go to and just
simply trade out the old promo for the new promo.
We could record a new promo, Danny. I'm willing to
do that. We can write some new copy. I I
believe I am capable of doing that. We can come
up with some new dogma and toss it in there
and boom, it'll be unfreaking believable. Danny. Yeah, we talk
(06:29):
for all these hours. I think we're okay to talk
for thirty seconds. Yeah. Well, of course, it's like it's
like the difference between television and radio. Like people that
do television and go to radio have a much harder
time typically than people that go from radio to television
because it's a whole different skill set in terms of
(06:50):
the amount of time. Ask Pat O'Brien p o b
who's been on this podcast, the Great Pat O'Brien. Anyway,
as far as the watermelon thing, I have not check
the watermelon. I have stuck to my original watermelon technique
where you look for the watermelon that's all scratched up
because that's that's the sweetest watermelon, because the bugs were
(07:11):
trying to get into the critters were trying to get
into the watermelon. So that's what I do. Have you
have you, Danny, been able to try the broom straw
technique for the water from our past conversations, I also
now have been looking for the ones that are the
most scratched up, and has that worked for you? Yeah? Okay,
my TENDERNI picked out a watermelon just a week ago,
(07:34):
and it looked all scratched up, and it was bright
red inside and juicy and over me had enough sweetness
to it. It was perfect. It's a great life hack
because most people don't know it, and they would avoid
those watermelons because they think there's something wrong with and
they look beat up. The simpleton will say, no, no, no,
(07:57):
that's a cautionary watermelon. Do not do not touch that watermelon.
That's there's storm clouds around that watermelon. And we know better,
all right. I next up on there the mail bag.
These are actual messages by actual lists. Mr Luciano says, Hey, Ben,
(08:17):
no question, Yeah, no question asked for you and Danny G.
I just want to say thank you. Mr Luciano says,
thanks again. It was a pleasure meeting both of you.
Great times. Keep doing what you doubt well. Thank you,
Mr Luciano. A fine night we had together that we
will remember, and I'm sure you you remember. Mr Luciano.
(08:42):
It was great meeting you, and I'm glad you were
able to make it and hang out and you stayed
long enough for Danny and the whole the whole deal
you've got mail, Kevin and Kansas writes, and he says,
dear Ben and Danny, g with your recent car issues,
have either of you gone for walks recently or has
life been too busy for that right now? Ben, is
(09:02):
your new area just as nice for walking as the
old place? So I answer that one first. Kevin. First
of all, I hope live Street in ull. Kevin is
a teacher as well, Danny, so he's in the education world.
Where I live now, Kevin, there's actually more trails to walk.
It's an amazing place where I where I reside, and
(09:24):
I've done a little bit of it lately. I'm not
gonna lie. It's been too hot and I just haven't
been able to to get out and wander the trails
and whatnot. I hope to get back to that. I
love going on nature hikes. I love walking to like waterfalls.
There's a great one up in Pasadena, in the Pasadena
(09:44):
area of southern California. Danny, I don't know if you've
done any of that hiking to waterfalls, but it's it's
pretty cool. There's a a bridge that goes to nowhere,
the bridge to Nowhere, which is out above Azuza in
southern California. I'd like to go there at some point.
But I like stuff like that. But I answer your question, Kevin,
(10:07):
I have not really done much of that recently. I
have been going to the gym. My treadmill, my dear
beloved treadmill is covered in dust, and at some point
the crowd will go wild because that thing will work again.
Just be careful with that bridge to nowhere, because everybody
in southern California knows that's where the chakra lives. Oh
(10:30):
is that right? Uh? The boogeyman. You gotta watch out
for the boogeyman. What about you, Danny? You have told
stories about how you've gone. You have the e bike,
You've done a little bit of that. But have you
been wandering the mean streets of the valley. It was
two weekends ago. I tried to take a Saturday morning
(10:52):
walk after I finished post production of the podcast. I
told my TENDERRONI, I'll go out with you. As she
was walking the dog dog Daisy, who looks like a
squirrel ear. She had to pick Daisy up because it
was hot. Her dog he didn't want to touch the concrete.
And then we get to where the grass was up top.
(11:13):
She was being grouchy. She kept complaining about everything, and
I told her, I'm like, you know, you're just complaining NonStop,
right And she's like, I'm sorry, it's just too damn
hot to take a walk. We came back to the
A C. And she was her wonderful self again. That's
how hot it's been here. It's been been nasty. And
(11:33):
a few more, few more weeks ago by Halloween. Yeah,
maybe maybe by Halloween. All right, let's see here, all right,
come back. It's Kevin is in Rockford, Illinois. So back
to back, belly to belly, Kevin and Kansas. Now Kevin
and Rockford, Illinois a regular. It's like Kevin and Kevin
(11:54):
is like a law firm or a morning show. Are
you coming and coming in the morning? And Kevin, we'll
have traffic on the ones and fun on the twos.
One thousand dollars up for grabs in ten minutes. This
is a national contest anyway, Kevin in Illinois, who sends
(12:14):
a really good questions quite a bit, just like Kevin
and Kansas. He says, I'm heading back to Colorado next week.
The hike. Another Colorado fourteener and just so Danny g
does not feel left out, I will yet again change
the name of the mountain and it shall be called
Tinderroni Mountain. Can I have a request? Can please call
(12:37):
it Tinderoni Tip, Tinderoni Tip Mountain, even better, Tinderoni Tip Mountain.
Kevin says, we're camping out at the base of the
mountain and I just bought a miniature black stone griddle
to cook cook on a camp What do you guys
recommend as a good camping meal. Oh that you're gonna
(12:59):
love the griddle. Even those small griddles are great. The
smash burger is wonderful on a griddle. It's it just
takes some obviously some ground beef and make sure it's
cold whatnot. But and you can use it like a
pot to squish the burger down with a turkey burger.
You can do that with a turkey burger too. I've
done that. I've done ground turkey that works as well.
(13:23):
I love the Philly cheese steak, which is probably not
a good idea on a hike. But you can make
breakfast foods omelets, bacon, anything your heart desires. I am
all about the griddle. I have a Blackstone griddle. Dare
you they're not an advertiser. They should be. I love
(13:45):
I freaking love that thing. It's a wonderful thing. Kevin.
Make sure it takes some good photos though, of the
TENDERNI tips signed Tenderoni Tips Mountain and put put Danny
g s Tenderoni Tips Mountain. That's a lot of writing. No,
just call the tip since he's up at the top
of it. Oh, there you go, yeah tip. Yeah, all right,
and I think I saw that. But thank you Kevin,
(14:11):
Good luck, safe travels, enjoy you stay at the top
of the mountain. If I hiked to the top of
the mountain, I would not want to leave the top
of the mountain. I just want to stay there and
be like, all right, this is a lot of work.
I'm just gonna hang out here. You've got mail, all right.
Next up we go to Mike in Wisconsin. He says, hey, guys,
would you rather give up air conditioning and heating for
(14:34):
the rest of your life or give up the Internet
for the rest of your life? Well, this is interesting.
I think we just talked about Dottie, who does not
lives her life. She does not have the internet. She
hates this show hates me. I gotta tell you, I
am so in the internet world for work. Like, if
(14:54):
I didn't have this job, I probably wouldn't really worry
that much about it. If I had like a job
where I didn't need to worry about being updated on stuff.
But the Internet is everything. The Internet is radio, it's television,
it's movies, it's everything. You'd have to give up all
of that about just giving up the Internet for one
season because I don't care about the heater. I don't
(15:16):
use the heater, not where we live. Yeah, you don't
really need that. No, I need the A C though badly. Yeah.
Oh man, I already I don't know about you. I
already run hot. So when it gets super hot outside
then I'm a mess. Like I don't want to be
out there where that sun is blazing down on you.
(15:37):
I need to find that air conditioning or some shade. Yeah, so, Mike,
would I rather? I would rather give up the heating
and the air conditioning if I had to make that
Sophie's choice call than the Internet. But my life would
be so much more uncomfortable. Although at the same time,
we've heard so many stories over the years, Danny that
(15:58):
like washing In d c. They call it the swamp.
We love big Ben. Big Ben's a friend of mine.
The reason they called it the swamp originally because it
was oppressively hot and humid like a swamp. It still is,
but the politicians now they call it the swamp because
of the politicians, but they The worst thing that happened
(16:20):
for politics is the air conditioning. Because everyone used to
get out of Washington, d c uh in the summertime
because it was so nasty and it was just horrible.
And our friend Marlin's man told me the story about
how in in Florida it was the same thing that
it was. Real estate was cheap. Nobody wanted to live
(16:41):
in Florida because it was so nasty most of the
year with the humidity, and people could not handle it.
From the north, the northerners that would come down. And
then once air conditioning became a thing, suddenly it didn't
matter anymore and people would just Conditioning also helped build
(17:01):
Las Vegas. That's right. There is no lost Las Vegas
without without that, all right. The next up Chris in Marraccata, Iowa.
He says, guys, what was the most embarrassing moment you
had in high school? Well, there are there are so
many nightmare moments in high school, Like how do you
(17:24):
sum up one one moment in time? I have very
uh troubling memories of the fitness test in football, trying
to beat a certain time and having to do it
over and over again. Well, all my teammates are like,
you fat ass, what's wrong with you? That was a
(17:44):
that was a nightmare. And then there were some like
random things, awkward moments with girls in high school where
you're I was. I was very shy, I'm introvert then
and it was very weird and uh so anything in particular, Danny,
though you you remember from high school that you haven't
recently told that. He Yeah, it was my sophomore year
(18:06):
and I was in the Electronics r OP program. She
was a freshman. I was a sophomore, and she would
flirt with me in that class every day. And there
was a separate class attached where they actually had old
TVs and things like that for us to use the
soldering irons on and in that little room. She and
(18:27):
I went back there and uh, we were grinding, We
were doing some things we shouldn't have been doing on
school hours, and the electronics teacher walked in and caught us,
and I thought for sure he was going to call
my mom. I was embarrassed because of what he caught
(18:47):
us doing. Then it was you acting like you were
in an A's game or a Blue Jay's game. No,
it wasn't anything that torrid, but it was let's just
say it was R. Kelly his hit song Up and Grind. Okay,
I felt like at any moment he could pick up
the phone and call my mom and get me in trouble.
That's the one memory that comes to mind where I
(19:09):
was embarrassed about something. Although she was good looking, I
wasn't embarrassed about that part. It was just what he
caught us doing red handed. He could have held that
over your head the entire I guess. Yeah, he could
have blackmailed me. He actually lived two blocks away from us,
and so my mom she met him, and she knew
(19:31):
him because my older brother was in his electronics class.
So I don't want to say he was a friend
of the family, but he definitely knew my mom well
enough to where he could have talked to her and
got me busted. Wow. So okay, that's good. So that's
a cool He didn't do it though. Yeah, thank you
Mr Hoskins for not getting me grounded for a month. Now,
(19:52):
kids are gonna be kids, right are you gonna You're
gonna do stuff as long as you don't cross certain lines.
You gotta live your life. Why not? All right? Next
up is Eric from Parts Unknown. He says, Hey, guys,
what I guess this is for me? What is the
most unprepared you've ever been for a show? And how
(20:12):
did you get through it? Yeah? So I over prepare Eric.
But there have been times a few times over the
years where I've been at the studio, I've been on
my way out and who whoever was supposed to do
the show next they couldn't connect to their studio and
so they're like, hey, can you start the morning show?
(20:33):
And I'd be like, okay, hello, hello, and but I
don't have any but sero. So often I just kind
of rehash stuff that I've done. There have been times
where I've put some notes down. Usually the way it
(20:54):
works is I I go to my my home studio,
my office, and I'll prepare for the show, and then
when I go oheen, I'll email myself. So I have everything,
and then I'll print everything up on the company dime,
and that's how we do things. And so sometimes though,
I was in such a rush to get out that
I forgot to actually send the email that had all
(21:15):
my notes for the show, and so I just had
to kind of wing it. And the weird thing I've
noticed is that when I've had that happen, has happened
a few times where I've not really been prepared the
way I should be, nobody really seems to notice. It's
like nobody like I guess I'm able to fake it
till you make it, or I've done it enough that
(21:35):
it's I'm able to do it. I don't. I don't figure.
I don't prefer to do that. I like to have preparation.
I don't want to I don't want to just wing
it totally, because you know, people give up the most
valuable thing they have to listen to radio and or
have it be a part of your life, and I
feel it's it's wrong to do it. Now, there are
(21:56):
plenty of people that do it that way. I don't
like to do it, but it has happened. Eric. To
answer your question, to my to my knowledge, no one's
ever said. I've never got an email saying, hey, you
didn't do the normal thing you normally do because I
I'm able to still present a similar product just in
my head, in my neurosis. It's not as good as
(22:16):
it could be. All right, what is next? We have
a Shane in Texas. He writes, and he says, if
you had one wish from a genie in a bottle,
and you could only pick one, would you rather have?
And I guess it's these two things Shane is saying,
not Genie and mentor, but Genie like a genie in
(22:37):
about I said, but these are the only two things
you got to pick from. Would you rather have perfect
teeth or perfect hair? All right? So for me this
is easy maybe for both of us. I don't know
the hair thing because I don't I don't really notice,
Like if you have really nasty teeth, I guess I'll notice,
But I don't really like stare at people's teeth. But
(22:58):
it's hard to avoid hair because it's you see it.
I wear hats all the time because my hair is
thanks to my my my grandparents and my grandfather or whatever.
It's it's gone. Yeah, like he I guess I would pay.
I would pick if my genie in a bottle could
only give me one of those two things, I would
pick flowing locks. That's what I would pick. Danny, I
(23:21):
like Sampson, I would be with the locks. What about
you now? Back when you were dating? And I mean, man,
I I know that was a period in your life
where you had a lot going on, but were you
would it bother you if a girl had a jacked
up grill or like her hair was thinning, because I
think the jacked up grill is worse. Yeah. See, well
(23:44):
that's a different I'm talking about. Yeah, I guess in dating. Yeah,
But like I like, what do I really care if
my buddy Jimmy has messed up teeth? You know, give
a crap. I'm not gonna kiss him. You pay me
five dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine. Uh so it
doesn't really matter to me. Um yeah, I mean I'm
with you. For us, the fabio here would be amazing, Yeah,
(24:09):
because I think we already have some decent teeth for
anyone listening in England right now. Sorry not to take
a shot at you, not the stereotype, but yeah, but
they're known for some teeth that maybe needs some dental work.
I guess I agree with you, But I also think
about that question and I turn it around, like, is
that a physical trait people would pay attention to when
(24:32):
they're dating? Yeah, that that would not be Uh, what's
the word I'm looking for, a DGAC or whatever, the
afrodza afrodesiac. Yeah, that's the word I was looking for.
Easier for me to say. But but yeah, that would
not enhance the situation. And but on your second date,
you could take her to the dentist. Yes, I have
(24:55):
a great dentist. I want to recommend. You're really gonna
like this dentist. Oh man, is this a great dentist?
I got one hell of an orthodonist on my payroll. Baby,
all right, no way, Jose rights and he says, if
you can be reincarnated, but only as an animal, any animal,
(25:16):
when you die, what would you want to be? All right?
So if you come back to the same planet, I
guess I would pick like a blue whale. Don't they
live to be like two hundred years old? Or a
tortoise or something like that. Although I guess if you're
a blue whale, you don't want to go through some
(25:37):
of the h I guess I'll stereotype here some of
the countries where they're in in the Asian countries where
they love to hunt the whales, right, harpoon the whales
and all that. Don't they fry up the whale peoples. Yeah,
it's a it's a culinary delight. I think. I don't
think you're I don't think you're kidding. I think they're
like every part of the whale is very, very valuable.
(25:59):
But I so I'd be in the ocean, but i'd
avoid the whalers. Not the Hartford Whalers, the old hockey team,
but the whalers. I would what animal would you be, Danny,
If you could be any animal reincarnated, you're coming back
and you're out there doing your thing. I would definitely
want to come back as the king of the jungle.
(26:19):
I would. I would be a lion for sure, all right. Yeah,
nobody picks like a cockroach. No one's like, I want
to come back and I want to be an aunt.
I want to be a worker aunt or a worker
b No one ever picks that. They always pick whale, lion, tiger, rhino, hippo,
you name if I was a hippo, I would be
(26:39):
the hungry hippo. I would definitely be the hungry hippo.
You'd be the fasting hippo. Yeah, exactly. Well, if I
was living the life I'm living now, Barry in Nashville
rights and he says, yo yo, mob, Benny. Have you
ever watched the show Naked and Afraid on Discover Channel?
Discovery Channel, I have not. Have you seen that show? Danny? Oh, yeah,
(27:01):
I've seen a couple of seasons of it, all right,
he says, if not. It's where they drop off two
contestants into a remote location where the contestants have no
clothes and can only bring one survival item a knife,
a fishing line, et cetera of their choice. They then
have to fend for themselves for food and building a shelter.
(27:23):
The contest typically last for twenty one days. They then
they hike out and considered to have complete completed the
challenge if they make it to the end of the
twenty one days. The question is who from your crew
would make it the longest and how many minutes, hours,
or days would they last? Man? All right, So there
(27:44):
was a show that I used to watch where this
guy would land in a place remote area, but he'd
be dropped off by himself and then he'd record everything.
But that's not naked and afraid. This was This was
They wasn't naked. This is something else. There's another great
show you could watch on Netflix right now called A
(28:05):
Loan where different contestants get dropped off somewhere where it's crazy,
crazy environment. But they're they're wearing clothes, but they're by
themselves and they have to fend for food and try
to outlast all of the other contestants on that same island.
So it's pretty cool. But for your staff, Ben, I'm
(28:27):
trying to think, who could really make it out there
in the in the wilderness if there's no drive through
his coop would not make it. Roberto would probably be
okay cooking wise, he'd be able to cook. But then
you gotta kill and cook him. Yeah, you have to
catch fish too, that's the key. The ones who made
it the longest on the Loan are the ones who
(28:47):
are able to catch fish. It's very difficult without a
fishing line to catch a fish though with your bare hands.
If you don't, they made contraptions they put together like
a Jerry rigged fishing net to catch fish overnight, then
you gotta gut the fish and that whole thing. Yeah,
and those bamboo contraptions where you know the fish can
(29:09):
fit in but then can't get out. Yeah, I guess.
So I answer your question. I would go with you,
Danny G. I think you do okay, because you've watched
the show, so you know what to do with you.
I could build a fort, that's for sure, and I
think I would be able to catch a couple of fish.
There you go. You got that going for you. I'd
have no chance. I would just say, okay, I'm not
gonna eat for twenty one days. I'll go to Keynes.
(29:31):
When I get back, I'll have the candy at Combo.
I'm good to go. Thank you, Verry. I appreciate that.
The next one from Pierre, try to pick up the
pacer a little bit, Pierre says, writing from my safe space,
He says, cuddling my therapy dog with one arm and
clutching my crayons and crushing the keys with the other.
(29:52):
Danny G mentioned the Nerve football during last week's mailbag,
and this got me feeling nostalgic for toys from my youth,
did either of you have and it's a football? Growing up,
this was a soft rubber football that you could throw
super tight spirals with as well as further than a
NERF football. Also, did you guys have any other toys
(30:16):
that you enjoyed? Possibly ones that your friends had that
you didn't always also wanting to go over to their
house to play. Maybe we be weebls, ben, he says,
because they wobble and they don't fall down. Well, I
did see the wee bol you sent a photo here,
and I have. I have seen those. I don't recall
(30:39):
playing with them as a as a kid. I remember
seeing them though as a kid. So is that Have
you ever heard of the what he called it, the
it's a football? No, and I looked it up right now.
I'm I'm not sure what he's referring to. My older
brother and I we had a Los Angeles Raiders football
and it was it was almost like jelly like, if
(31:01):
that makes sense the material it was made out of. Huh.
It felt like it was filled with gel and you
could chuck that thing far. Yeah, I'm looking at the
the it's a ball and it does. Actually, it does
remind me of something I had as a as a kid.
It does remind me of that, so I'm gonna go yes,
(31:24):
I didn't know the name of it, though, How did
you know the name of Pierre. What's the name of it?
I t z A this type of it's a ball
or it's a football or you know, one of those,
and it does look like a nerve product, but it's
not a nerve product. It's similar to Yeah, that look familiar. Yeah, yeah,
(31:45):
we we had those when we're around the same age.
We had those as far as like games and towards
nothing off the top of my head. Most of my childhood,
even though I was the fat kid, we went out
and played stickball in the name ro We played baseball.
We had we used tennis balls or racquet balls, and
we'd play with the neighborhood kids. We had great fun.
(32:07):
We'd run through the orange groves and have fights orange fights.
And you haven't lived until you've been hit by an orange.
And you haven't lived until you've been chased by soldiers
who are drinking in the orange groves from the local
military base. You really haven't lived your life until you've
done those things. Next up Mike from Home and not
(32:28):
gridlocked traffic, apparently not in Fullerton anymore. He says, I
have an original question for you. It might not be
a very good one, but at least I didn't steal
it from another podcast like Pierre did last week, Wow
Shots Fire. He says, do either of you have a
memorable story about losing a tooth? For me, it's when
I didn't notice one of my baby teeth came out
(32:51):
while biting into a Rocky Road ice cream corner. I
accidentally ate it. Yeah. No, I was eating Tito's tacos
as a I was a grown up person, and I
bit into the taco and I felt my tooth kind
of like a little bit of a crack. That's a
(33:11):
bad feeling. That's the world. And then you're like, how
bad is it? Maybe I'm imagining it, Maybe it was
something in the taco, and yeah, that was bad. Any
memorable stories about losing a tooth? Danny? I do remember
that my mom did that old trick with my older
brother where she was trying to tie the dental floss
onto his loose tooth, and she pulled the line and
(33:35):
I think she was attempting maybe to tie it to
a door knob and I didn't know what they were doing,
so I came running into the room. You know, um
three years younger than him, So I'm wild. I don't
know what they're doing, and I come running into the room,
and I ran into the line inadvertently pulled his tooth out.
He was bleeding at the mouth, screaming and yelling at
(33:57):
me for for violently pulling his tooth out. That is
that is horrible when you're not prepared for it. Oh man.
I think my mom was trying to be funny with
her whole dental faust thing, and I came in and
spoiled their fun great, not for him. Uh, that's that's funny. Uh,
(34:19):
John and Northern Colorado rights in John says, have you
ever explained to your lady that you have the toilet
seat up because she's just going to lift it anyway
to check for spiders? Ah, he says, I think that's
more like for Cooper Loop. I think that might be well,
Coop's actually the one should leave the toilet seat up
because he for the spiders and all that, and uh,
(34:43):
thank you, John Glass One. Joe from New York says,
what's worse doing the dishes or the laundry, so this
is easy. I'm the dishwasher, Joe. I'm the professional dishwasher.
That's my job. I feel a great sense of satisfaction
when I washed the dishes. I feel like I've accomplished something.
(35:04):
I love a big sink full of dishes and then
methodically going through the dishes and putting them, you know,
rinching them all off, and then putting them in the
dishwasher and arranging. It's like a jigsaw puzzle to get
everything in the dishwasher. So I love that. And the
laundry thing. Here's my take on laundry, Danny. I don't
(35:24):
mind washing and drawing the laundry. I hate putting laundry away.
So that's my my, my problem with laundry. What about you, quickly, Yeah,
we know what your exercise bike in your treadmill looks like.
Of course, um yeah, I mean you and my Tinderoni
are a bunch of freaks when it comes to dishes,
(35:45):
because dishes suck. Um. I would much rather do laundry.
The problem is, I'm fine with the washing. Taking it
out of the hot dryer really bothers me because instantly
you start sweating and so the heat of the dryer
bothers me. But I would still rather do laundry well
and then. But also you have the link guard. You've
(36:05):
got to make sure otherwise you'll have a fire. Right. Yeah,
very imported advice there on the podcast. Thank you. I'm
here to help. Don't don't have your house burned down
because you didn't take the lynch out of the dryer. Please,
I beg of you, I beg of you. All right,
we'll get out on that. Danny, what do you have
going on today? I know I'll be back tonight on
the radio, this being the Sunday show, so we'll be
(36:26):
back yapping away Sunday night. It's a game week to
his foot, that's right. I was just gonna say, this
is the week finally. Damn it's here finally. Yeah. I'm
gonna be in having fun with Covino and Rich on
Sunday afternoon into the early evening and then the show
right before yours Chris Plank and Arnie Spaniard, and that
(36:47):
is of course the lead into your first show of
the week. It's my pregame show. So ye have those
guys and I'll be back yapping away all night long.
Have a great rest of your weekend. Thanks for supporting
the podcast, Tell a friend about it. Remember you can
email a question for next week's mail bag Real Fifth
Hour at gmail dot com, and we'll talk to you
(37:07):
next time. Bumping and grinding later, skater, oh double out there.
Look at that, we got two outs on that population.
Host
Ben Maller
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