October 16, 2022 • 50 mins
Ben Maller is in the studio with Danny G. and they're having some podcast fun with the mail bag for your Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, and
welcome me to the beginning of a magical audio journey,
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio.
And that means one thing and one thing only. Look
(00:46):
at the calendar. Look what day it is, Danny male mothersucker.
That's right, Strike up the band, Strike up the band.
It's all right, thanks, Ohio. Are you prepared Danny for
(01:10):
the mail bag? These are actual questions, actual responses from
listeners of this podcast who have contacted me either at
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Spell that out,
not numbers letters, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com,
or on the Facebook page Ben Mallard Show. Either way
(01:33):
you can send your question and make sure you include
your name and city. And we had a lot of
people that reached out to us this week, Danny, that's
a good sign. That means the mail bag. Even though
it's football season, people like the mail bag. I think
it's from your marketing inside karaoke clubs. Yes, the people
performing at the karaoke club on Saturday, big fans, unless said,
(02:00):
I didn't speak to any of them, but I just
merely observed. I just merely was sitting there in the
corner of the room, like what am I doing here?
Why am I? And and a voice in my head said,
you're not that guy. I trust me, You're not that guy.
But I was there, So I was that guy. I
was hanging out there at that time. All right, let's
start out here Blake in Arkansas, right. So, and he says,
(02:22):
Ben and Danny, g I am listening to the pod
from your radio show, and I'm floored about Jed's story.
Did I missunderstand talking about Jed who fled? Did I misunderstand?
Or did he say he used to be a teacher,
gets in trouble and makes the front page. I must
have missed that show. I must hear the story. Also,
(02:42):
as a new listener four years, I know a little
of the Doc Mike story. Anymore. Wild stories over the years,
I may not know. Well, Blake, you've got to be
more specific than that. But Jeed, who fled, has told
some wild stories. I don't know how much of that
is true and how much of that is fueled by pharmaceuticals.
But Jed also said his father was a local politician
(03:05):
and was on the school board, and you can only
imagine the family reaction knowing what Jed's up to. But
I don't know how much of that is like legit
and how much of that is just for the radio.
So it's hard to say. But we've had some zany
zany moments over the years, Blake, So if you want
to get more specific, if there's anything, it's kind of generic.
Doc Mike has been on the show a bunch, not lately,
(03:27):
but he's had some crazy things happened with us. He
used to call me up when he would drop goat
heads off at Wrigley Field as he was doing it.
And one time it made international news because the Cub
game got reined out and the owner of the Cubs
got very upset and the mayor of Chicago, Ram Emmanuel,
was the mayor at the time. My favorite Doc Mike
(03:48):
story Rob Emmanuel, the mayor of Chicago gets on a
news conference which is broadcast across the country on the
news channels and says, we're gonna find out whoever did this,
and that person is going to be prosecuted to the
hollo sic cent of law. And I'm like, well, I
have a voicemail recording of Doc Mike as he was
doing it. I'm going to decapitate a goat. And amazingly
(04:10):
they never found out Doc Mike did it, so it's
a nod. They were big fans of your show. Yeah,
we've had I'm trying to think some of the other
stories that pop into my head here. We we've had
some zany people that have called up working all kinds
of odd jobs. I always get blown away. We have
a number of college professors that love the show. That
(04:31):
always blows me because Lee, the guy I went to
dinner with Lee Klein always says, I your audience just
the dumbest audience. You know. He always wanted the intellectuals
listening to his show. You know, I was like, it's
the radio show. So smart people love this kind of
programming because it's like watching reality TV. Gives you a
moment to shut off your brain. Yeah, and not everything
(04:53):
has to be hard. Oh, in life, you can let
your hair down, have a good time and it's harmless fun.
You could go listen to one of the investigative reporting
podcasts if you need that kind of crap. Are there
any other podcast other than that? We should do a
crime podcast, Danny, think how popular that would be. There's
also the chicks to talk on podcasts about relationships, health
(05:16):
and sex. Man. Yeah, that's also what I need. That
did they do as well as some Some dudes just
love hearing on Warman's voice. But like the the amount
of money that's flying around. I thought the economy was bad,
but this only fans thing. I mean, there's there's so
much money that so many different amateur porn stars are making.
(05:40):
It's a wild It's the porn version of Patreon, which
you know, for five dollars a month you could listen
to exclusive content from Bill Miller. Bill Miller, Yeah, how
do we get in on that? Danny? Is there any
way we can get in on that? Like I can
have a bonus coverage or something like that. I'm not
sure that people would pay to see the scraps now,
(06:04):
all right? Probably not. Mike from fuller tin rights, and
and so Callie says that I'd like to hear how
Danny g makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after
ben show was recently hijacked by P B and J
Hot Talk, and Mike says, do you put peanut butter
(06:24):
on one slice of bread and jelly on the other
or are you one of those psychos who spreads the
jelly right on top of the peanut butter. That's his
his first question. Well, yeah, and you think I'm a
serial killer. Of course. I put peanut butter on one
side and the jelly on the other. And you always
(06:45):
do the peanut butter first, always, Then you do jelly
on the other piece of the bread, and then you
put it together, and then Ben, you cut it in half. Yeah,
well that was one of his other questions. He says,
what is the best way to eat a sandwich whole
cut in half or into a bunch of tiny cupe?
So I cut it in half, but I like cutting
(07:06):
it diagonally. No, no, no, I feel like I'm getting
more more bang for my bite here. You cut it
down the middle, and it to me it short changes you.
I like the angle, the triangle side. What you know,
the the the the angle, rather than just down the middle.
That's corner crunchers. That's not the way to do it.
(07:27):
When you cut it right down the middle, then you
get that goodness, the plumpness of the peanut butter and
jelly right in the center. Now. But if you spread
out the jelly and the peanut butter right you can
get that all the way across and you actually have
more real estate too. No, no, no, It's kind of
like the you think of the coastline in California or
Florida as opposed to the coastline in Massachusetts. If you
(07:51):
cut it down right down the middle, there's just a
little bit of coastline. But if you cut it at
an angle, then you're dealing with like Florida coastline. I'm
talking coastline of gooley peanut butter and jelly. But when
you eat from the corner, like I've seen some weirdos,
do you get too much crust? You get a couple
of delicious bites right down the center when you cut
(08:14):
it down the center, and there's no crust involved at
that point. I disagree. I believe there is no crust.
You have more bites without crust. Cutting it diagonally, and
it's a scientific fact because it's longer. It's longer diagonally.
What's done it is I'll bet you right now, that's
at the bank. That's make a bat right now. It's
(08:35):
the same coverage. You get better bites right off the bat.
I don't want my first bite to have crust involved. No,
your first bite does not have crust involved. You can
still bite in the middle. You don't have to bite
on the ends. You guys who do the diagonal, I
always see you bite the end. Well, I don't eat
it that way. I can't speak for the other diagonal
(08:56):
peanut butter and jelly eaters, but I eat it diagonally,
and I start in the middle, and I either go
right or left. And this debate is for nothing because
you agree with me you should cut it down the middle. No,
but we know the debate stands, and I stand by
my position, Danny, because you get more of those middle bites.
You might have to not take the full bite, but
(09:17):
you still get more of those middle bites. Wrong, alright.
Some other rapid fire questions from Mike from Fullerton. He
says creamy or crunchy peanut butter. I can take either,
but I do enjoy the creamy a grape or strawberry jelly.
(09:37):
Grape for strawberry jelly. Uh And and I can't go
wrong with either one. But I feel like grape was
kind of a more special thing. I usually got strawberries,
so great. Was kind of a special occasion thing. I
like the crunchy peanut butter. But sometimes it gets stuck
in your teeth or the roof of your mouth, the
roof of your mouth, or it hurts your gums a
little bit. Yeah, do you want to avoid trauma? That's
(10:01):
even a better drop than what I said. See, that's
even better. And white or wheat bread white or or
wheat bread is the other. And so I guess I
leaned to the white bread, lean to the white bread
on that. But well, if it's peanut butter and jelly,
the white bread obviously tastes the best. That's the That
(10:22):
is the day old wonder bread come back. It's time
from that. I'll call all right Bury from Nashville's next
He says, Yo yo ma, Benny uh you Bury the
lead mama. On a recent edition of Ask Been you
guys were talking about if you saved your plastic bags.
But the headline of the discussion was it you have
(10:44):
to pay ten cents for each plastic bag. Are we
talking about these cheap ass plastic bags? He sent a
photo that cost about one quarter of a cent to produce,
and yes, that is exactly the same plastic bag that
the those of us that live in the People's Republic
of California have to pay berry. He says, here are
(11:05):
my questions, when did California start doing this? Do you
get a refund if you bring them back like on
soda cans? And if you go through the self checkout,
do you have to enter in how many bags you used? Alright,
so answer number one is I believe four years ago,
five years ago or something like that they started doing this,
(11:27):
and you don't get a refund. They're single use bag,
so you don't get a refund. You can't bring them back.
And yeah, if you're at the self checkout, you have
to punch in how many bags you want. No, they're
not single use if you have a pet, because you
put those in a drawer and then take them out
every time you need to clean up poop o. There
is that, yes, but he says, I mean, you can
(11:50):
steal from stores in California as long as you don't
exceed eight hundred dollars, but you need to pay ten
cents per plastic bag. Berry says, yes, yes. Why do
you think so many people are leaving California to go
to Florida and in Texas? It's things like this that
the bullshit that the people have to deal with in
addition to the other bullshit that is going on. All right,
(12:10):
what is next year? I got mail yea, I got
mail yea. Ron in Minnesota rights and he says, why
don't you respect this St. Louis Rams, the Rams of
the Rams in Los Angeles or St. Louis, They're still
ramming it all day and ramming it all night, whether
(12:31):
they're in St. Louis or l A. It's the same
Rams ramal nights. No, uh, it is not. I grew
up a fan of the Los Angeles Rams. My father
may he rest in peace, took me in. My first
NFL game was the l A Rams and the forty Niners,
and so that was my first experience with the NFL.
(12:52):
And I was not a fan of the St. Louis Rams.
The Rams left and I left, and it's a little
different for you, Danny, right, because you're you're Raider fans.
Raiders have bounced around all over the place, and the Raiders,
I don't think they've lost a single fan. Well maybe
in Oakland they have, but most people like, yeah, the
Raiders are in l A. There in Oakland. Every twenty
years they changed locations. It's fine. But when the Rams laughed,
(13:16):
I was like, well that's it. I'm done. I'll be
a fan of whoever ill people want me to be in.
I'll gamble on games. But I'm not a fan of St.
Louis Cardinals of the St. Louis Blues, so I'm not
a fan of St. Louis Rams. And that was that.
A lot of people don't realize that the Rams used
to play in Anaheim. Well, yeah, they played an anim
(13:36):
also played in I think Cleveland before they came to
l A. So they were the Cleveland Rams before they
were the l A Rams. But teams moved around a
lot in the early days of the end f l
come back, it's sun from now. Call Pierre from the
land of sleep, deprivation and political mailings, says Ben, will
(14:01):
you be inviting Brian Finley to the Mallard Halloween Bash
an ugly sweater party, Daddy. And how will you break
the bad news to Ferg Dog and the rest of
the Findley fanboys, Daddy. Yeah, I am convinced that Brian
probably has some tennis match or a pickle ball game
to play, so he would not be able to attend.
(14:22):
So I don't want to force him to have the
awkward uh situation where he was. I wish I could
make it, but I can't make it. And so rather
than put him in that awkward situation, I think we'll
just we'll just avoid inviting. I think that would be
the way to That would be the proper way to go, right, Danny,
you know I will put him in a tough situation. Yeah,
I think you're right. He will definitely be on the
road calling some tennis match where we cannot pronounce the
(14:46):
player's names. Well, his new nickname is Lovey because you
know what you know what love means in tennis? Yeah?
Nothing at zero even, Yes, I see what you did there, nickname, Hey,
lovey es here you go. You've got mail our friend
Jennifer in rich Men Virginia rights in and I'm gonna
(15:10):
give Jennifer credit. She's consistently one of the handful of
women that are loyal menius of this podcast on the
radio show, So God Bless you. She's like Brady's X.
She likes consistency. I have seen the numbers, Danny, and
based on the numbers, you're a and you're not a
one percenter, Jennifer, You're a four percenter. The audience is
(15:32):
roughly nineties six percent. Man, I'm not kidding about four
percent women sent women. Jennifer writes and says, Hi, King
Ben and Danny g Ben, do you recall the Curb
episode where Larry's bath towels keep getting mentioned in random conversations,
being called ratty, worn out, scratchy, and thin? I do
(15:54):
remember that was a great episode. And she goes on
to say Jennifer and how he defended them, saying he
doesn't like the fluffy ones because they don't get you dry. So, Ben,
where do you stand on the towel rattiness scale? So
I'm gonna one up Larry David on this. It's it's
(16:15):
not so much the rattiness. I don't like a ratty towel,
but I like a jumbo sized towel. And they're they're
not actually called bath towels. They're called something else. I
forget what the name is. Beach towels. Well, no, it's
they're the size of beach towels, but they're they're they're
made out of different material in the beach. It's like
a bath robe towel than answer, Well, weird, but those
(16:38):
are the way to go because you can wrap your
whole upper body in that towel. It's not like your
normal towel that you would get them. I'm a big guy,
and so it doesn't necessarily cover enough real estate there.
But yeah, the new the new towels, you gotta you
gotta use the towel a little bit to get it going.
But there's there's different levels of plushness. And that's one
of those things. I'm very frugal, as you know, Danny,
(17:00):
but there's certain and it comes to toilet paper and
when it comes to towels and things like that, I
want comfort, I want luxury. How about your thread count? Yeah,
thread count on the bed sheets. You want to have
a nice soft bed. You're gonna be in your bed
whether you like it or not. You know, sixty eight
hours a day, every day your life. Unless you're doing
(17:20):
a lot of hard drugs, you're gonna be in there,
so you might as well enjoy it, right, I'm just saying,
you know what, what do I know? I'm just doing
a podcast here. But those are certain things. And and
the great thing about that is you can be in
like a little shitty studio apartment and you can still
still have nice sheets. You can have the same sheets
(17:42):
that some high falutin big shots at right, and the
same the same deal, all right. Next up on the
mail bag, I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah.
Dick in Wisconsin rights and he says, Ben, did you
change the name of your show too? Just the Mallard
Show because you never said Ben tonight saying about the
(18:04):
Wednesday Morning Show for him. Real question though, for both
you and Danny Gee, I wanted to ask, if you
were stranded on a desert deserted island, would you rather
be stranded with someone who doesn't talk or someone who
won't shut up? Yeah? Well, the answer is obviously you
want to be with an introvert like me, because can
you imagine if someone talking your ear off NonStop? Oh
(18:26):
my god, we're gonna die. I can't believe we're here.
We're not gonna have any need. Oh my god, who
wants that? Nobody wants that? So I would pick the
guy that doesn't talk. Danny. Yeah, you know my tender RONI.
She knows exactly when to talk and when not to
and that's rare and women, as you know, man not
to be sexist, but there's some women that can't stop talking,
(18:51):
and then there's other women who are mysteries. They're just
quiet and you wonder if they're brooding, you wonder if
they're mad about something. When a woman in his in
her own head and you ask her if everything's okay, what,
what will she say to you? Oh, everything's fine? Yeah,
yeah yeah, the F word fine yeah, fine, I'm fine. Um.
Now you need to both. That's the most lethal word
(19:14):
that you can say. You need this really good medium,
you need you need to be in the middle there.
You're not talking too much, but you're not so quiet
that everything is fine. And she has that. So that's
exactly what you need on a deserted island, because can
you imagine somebody talking your air off like the the
guy in the bar of the story I told on
(19:36):
yesterday's podcast, I'd want to shoot myself in the head
with a nail gun. Yeah, for sure. It's It is
true though, like when you're in a relationship and a
woman is upset with you, the cone of silence and
then the I'm fine. It's so obvious. It's like, you know,
it's like, come on, we all know. And as far
(19:58):
as the name of the show, so a of days
this week, I said the Mallard Show and I didn't
say the Ben Maller Show, and so people were freaking
out there, like what are you doing. I can't believe
you called it the Mother Show. It's not the Mother Show.
It's the Ben Moller Show. The Mother Shows a different show.
Why would you call the mall Show. You've always called
it the Ben Moller Show. I don't understand. You're you're
(20:18):
blowing my brain out. I can't. I can't figure it out.
I was like, really, come on, were you just switching
it up? I just tossed it out. I don't even
know why I started saying, and I said it, and
then all of a sudden, I'm getting all these people
that are like I I can't handle this. Ah, your fault, Ben.
(20:40):
We don't like change even the name just missing my
first name, Come back attention. It's sign from that. I'll
call Jason Rocky Mound, Virginia, friend of the show hat
benefactor rights in. He says this week, my question is
for Danny g A. Are you planning on going to
(21:01):
any Raider games this year? And if so, you're gonna
be taking the family. If you do, let us know
the cost of that one in Vegas. Well, yeah, before Danny,
you said you weren't gonna go because you have to
work on Sunday. But now you don't have to work
on Sunday anymore. The Raiders are going to be in
l A for a game against the Rams later this year.
(21:22):
You've already played the Chargers in l A. Any plans,
I mean, I will have to see the game here
in l A. If I do go. Vegas is just
out of the picture right now because of the price
of hotels, resort fees, resort fees, and ticket prices there
at Allegiance Stadium. Well, you could just drive there and
(21:44):
drive back, but that would be quite the commitment. That
would be quite the commitment. You have to get up
at the crack of dawn, get there, go to the game,
and then deal with all the traffic on the way back.
And you never want to drive back from Vegas on
a Sunday afternoon when the check out time is You
don't want to be doing that. Rather get a hotel
(22:04):
and go back Monday morning early. Yeah, that is the
way to do it. I got mail ya, I got
mail ya. Mike from Sacramento says, does a straw have
one or two holes? He says, and then I shall
ask how many holes does a cup have? Uh? Well, yeah, cup,
(22:25):
it has a is that does that count as a
whole top of it? It's a tube, but there's a
there's not a full tube. So I'm gonna say a
straw has two holes and a cup has no holes,
because if a cup had a hole in it, that
would be a problem. Right where did he come up
(22:46):
with this question? He's doing a lot of hard narcotics.
I think, Thank you, Mike and Sacramento. Here's Magoo, the
one eyed tiged farm trucker from Boston. Baby and he says,
big end and Danny, g would you go to your
thirty fifth class reunion? And what would you look forward to? Much?
(23:07):
I like, I said, a thirty fifth class reunion, Like
I don't think I'm at that point yet, but thank
you pal Uh. No, I really have no interest in
doing that. I wasn't popular in high school. I didn't
get along with a lot of people. The people I
got along with I still know, and if I don't
know them, it's because I didn't get along with them,
or we our lives took a different path. And I
(23:28):
also went to a couple of different high schools for
multiple reasons, a myriad of reasons. So for me, it's
not really necessary. I guess some people say you can
go back and brag, you know, you've you've done pretty
well on radio business, and you could do a victory lap.
But I don't really need to do that. Uh that
doesn't really excite me at all. And uh many people
(23:48):
if I say, you're a loser anyway, So who needs that?
What about you, Danny? Would you go back to a
big high school reunion. No, I don't think so, because
I don't want to see everybody old. You know, there's
the exceptions. There's the people we went to school with
it don't look like they aged that much. But then
there's also the person who looks like they were out
in the sun seven days a week and they look
(24:10):
eighty um and you know you don't want to think
about your own mortality. We saw a commercial on TV
the other night, me and my girl for the Connors.
They had to rename it, I guess after they kicked
Rosanne off of the show. And all of those actors
look so old. That was my girl's comments. She's like, God,
(24:30):
they all look so old. Why would anyone want to
watch that? Yeah, it is to That's how I feel
about reunions. I don't want to watch that. Yeah, and
you don't really need to even go anymore. If you're
on Facebook, you can see what they look like without
having to go to the reunion. You can kind of
check them out, and it is odd. I'm like, do
I look like that too? I guess I do. I mean,
(24:51):
I mean in the same age as them. It's like, Wow,
that's what happened. Where did that have? How did that happen?
Like crazy Oreo Cookie from Oakland Rights in have you
or any of your colleagues ever gotten into trouble for
smoking the Mary Jane and talking about it on the radio.
I'm afraid for the Cooper Loop, so so I guess
(25:13):
I'll go. I no uh, and Coop's been talking about
his weed thing for years and no one's ever brought
it up to me anyway, So I guess it doesn't
really matter. I think our bosses at one point they
were wondering about if they should write us up, and
then they passed the joint to the other boss. He
(25:34):
took a toke, he pondered on it smoke weed, and
he was like, Nah, let's just let that kind of
humor go. It's a fun network. Yeah, I don't know
we have to worry about any any of that. Although
in the early days, I will tell you, when the
network started, they were very button up and they were like, hey,
we're on all over the Bible Belt. You can't be
(25:54):
talking about this kind of stuff. What are you doing?
You know? And then they were finally like, that's a
couple of bosses that and since then they've they've changed
a wee bit, a wee bit. Let's see, Ozzy was
from Western Australia Rights and he says, hey, Big Ben
and Danny Gee been working away a lot no phone reception,
(26:18):
which can be bliss, but haven't been able to listen
to the show during that time, which obviously absolutely sucks,
but that's life, sleeping in a swag under the stars,
keeping in contact with the Mrs and little Miss via
satellite phone. My question is, have either of you guys
had to spend some time away from the big smoke
(26:40):
and family? And I know you work in radio, needed
internet and what not to work, he says, But would
you be willing to do that? Mind you? Twelve hour days,
seven days a week. As you say, Benny, no days off, flies,
nakes and no, Danny, we can't run over them and
(27:05):
twirl it about our head. And yes, we took our
own food and piss a k a beer for you guys.
Just to clarify, that's from Ozzy Was, He says. Ps.
I have a lot of podcasts to download and listen to,
so Ozzy Was, you'll probably get to this podcast by
early three. But would you want to be off the grid?
(27:26):
Danny is asking there and work twelve hour days for
seven days a week. That doesn't sound very good to me.
I like, I like at least one day off a week. Yeah,
it makes me think of the longshoreman. Um. We get
calls from those guys. Well, I used to get calls
from some of those guys. Out on the platforms. Yeah.
(27:48):
Still yeah, right off the coast here in California, they
are digging for the bubbly the what was the old
TV show? What did they say, black gold or what
was like? Yeah, the that gold. And we used to
have a regular caller he was two weeks on, two
weeks off, and he used to tell us about his
(28:10):
crazy shifts in his hours. I don't know, I I
think half of me would like that, Ben, But then
being out in the middle of nowhere, that's probably the
part that would bother me. Well, having two weeks off
after every two weeks of work would be really kind
of cool if you can mind, If you can make
the most of it and travel and do things, that
would be a lot of fun. Like one of the
(28:33):
drawbacks is that in our job, you gotta be there
every day and and if you're not, you lose an audience,
you lose ratings, you lose your job. People don't listen
to you. But if I had two weeks off, I
could like drive across the country and have a fine
time and I have a have a great go on
a cruise that I really want to go on a cruise.
But one thing that caller that regular caller told my
(28:56):
morning show though, is that he was so dead tired
from his work out there on the platform in the
ocean that when he would get home, he was like
dead to the world for the first week, and then
he was like recovered and he had a wheat to
kind of do things, so he said, even though it
was two weeks off, he always only felt like it
was a week off. Yeah. Well, the older you get,
(29:16):
the tougher that gets for sure. Thank you for listening.
In the middle of nowhere in Western Australia, the Great
Ozzy was checking in. Next up on the mail back
all right, come back, it's time, Kevin in Kansas writes,
and he says, dear Ben and Danny g I remember
Danny talking about taking the family to a rather expensive
(29:37):
opening game at Dodgers Stadium back in April. How costly
would a family outing have to get before you decide
to either limit what you get at a game or
to just not go. Well, the easy answer is, we
haven't been back to Dodgers Stadium, thinks opening day. Um,
(29:58):
it's just too expensive to take a family there. We'd
have to sneak away for a date night to go,
and even then I think I would only do it
if a M five seventy gave us some free tickets,
which they usually save those for sponsors and friends and bosses. Uh,
so we don't get gifted those very often. Ben, As
(30:19):
you know, it would have to be a gift of tickets,
I think, uh. And then I would pay for the
parking in for some food there. But I feel like
part of the whole experience is eating there at the park.
But that's harder and harder to do across America. Right now,
it is in the prices of Dodger Stadium about to
go even up more and more because they have to
(30:39):
pay the workers ten dollars more an hour, and they're
not gonna take that out of the profits. They're just
gonna pass that on to the consumers. So they're gonna
raise the price of everything by a dollar here, a
dollar there, and that's how they're gonna get the money.
Do you see how Disneyland is raising their prices again?
Oh my god, come on, Walt would be rolling in
(31:03):
his grave right now. Well, it's one of the seven
deadly sins greed, and they're very good at it. A
lot of places are, for sure. The price of this
show though, Free Danny Free, and you can even fast
forward the commercials. If you're a dick, you shouldn't do that.
You should listen to all the commercial In fact, a
lot of people like to go back and listen to
them twice. Whenever there's a code, Mallard, I type that
(31:28):
in two different times to give you credit, just so
the advertisers know that you're listening to the commercial. When
you hear my name as a promo code, it does
help us out if you punch that in. It's the
only way they know for sure that the advertising is
actually work, that people are listening to these commercials. Otherwise
they have no way. I mean, they know that the
numbers of people that download these podcasts and all that. Oh,
(31:51):
and then if they give a number, I call it
and I just say Mallard when they answer the phone,
that's it, Mallard. That's all you know. Just like what mallard.
Jed who asked, which I think is Jed who fled,
but he changed his name. He says, what's the closest
y'all have ever come to being arrested? Or have you
(32:11):
been arrested? So I have not been arrested. I don't know.
The closest I ever came to being arrested. There was
an incident when I was in saddle back. I was
at saddle back doing the play by play. We were
at a basketball tournament at San Jose State University and
there wasn't a lot of parking outside the gymnasium there,
(32:32):
and I we had a lot of equipment that we
were we were broadcasting the game back to saddle back,
and so we had all this equipment. It was old
radio equipment, so it was heavy stuff. And so there's
this this parking space. I had to back into the
parking space. So I started backing into the parking space
and this rather large woman she comes over and she
(32:56):
slams her hands down on the car, on the back
of the rental car that we had, and she starts screaming,
this is my space. I'm saving the space. I didn't
see her, and next thing I know, she's yelling at
her college age and high school age sons to get
the cops over here. Called the cops. He ran into me.
(33:19):
He ran into me. You know, she's screaming. So I'm like,
oh boy, here we go. Now. At the time, the guy,
the other guy that I was working with my my
friend Brad. He was bringing some of the equipment. It
was actually after the game, so we we were we
were trying to get a closer parking space to bring
the equipment back, but so this one was saving the
space because there was another game after our game. It
(33:41):
was a tournament. And so my friend he comes out
and he has no idea what just happened. He comes out,
there's a large woman screaming at her kids to call
the cops because this guy just ran ran me over
and all this stuff. And uh, anyway, the police came
and they just kind of said, everyone calmed down here,
(34:02):
there's no crime that was committed, you know whatever. So
that was that was that. What about you, Danny? Anything? Boy?
I mean, there's been a few run ins. One I
would say when I was a teenager in San Jose,
my cousin and older brother they were on a little
bit of a crime spree that they're not proud of
now as adults. But they went inside they were stealing
(34:26):
some c d s and they got caught and uh,
I was outside as the lookout, and I just saw
my cousin running out the door being chased by security
my older brother dashes out the other door, chased by
another security guard. My brother was super fast, so he
was all the way across the street. He got away.
(34:48):
My cousin, big guy, strong, but not fast. He got
caught halfway through the parking lot. So it was the
walk of shame for my brother. The security was yelling
to him, I got your friends, you might as well
just come back. My brother had a walk back. They
took all three of us inside to that little room
in the back of the store with the video cameras.
(35:12):
Called the parents said they were going to press charges.
Uh that's probably the closest because we were really sweating
bullets thinking that the police were gonna show up next,
and that was it was gonna be all over for you.
It really well, it ruined that was a summer. It
ruined the rest of that summer because then my mom
really micro managed our time after that happened. But they
(35:34):
talked their way out of the police being involved. But yeah,
my older brother and cousin weren't allowed to hang out
for the rest of the summer. I I am here
to tell you though. That did not end their crime spree.
It continued when school started. Okay, they picked back up
where they left off, like good burglars. They were, Yeah,
and as the lookout, though, Danny, you could have conceivably
(35:57):
gotten away, right, they didn't. You didn't you know anything,
so you could have got I could have took off,
But it was supposed to be the three of us
hanging out that afternoon, So it would have been weird
if their younger brother and cousin was off, you know,
down the street while they were in this store, because
we were all supposed to be together. So that's why
I had to stay and also walk into that security room.
(36:21):
You've ever been back in one of those security rooms, though, Ben,
That is not the best feeling. No, you don't want
to be part of that action for sure. Next up
David Rights, and he says, I just started listening to
your show about a year ago. Have you ever had
an interview where someone got upset because you kept pressing
for an answer. We've had a few on the radio,
but a lot of those things happened when I was
(36:42):
a radio reporter back in the day, and I was
in locker rooms, and I got kicked out of more
than one locker room because I asked questions that players
didn't like, and they got upset and I had some
some crazy things happen in those days. There was a
player for the Giants, the Sandra's Cisco Giants. He was
with the Diamondbacks at the time. Matt Williams got very
(37:05):
upset with me and kicked me out of the Diamondbacks
clubhouse because the Dodgers were clearly throwing at him. In fact,
I remember the picture chann Hole Park was throwing a
Matt Williams and it was obvious because like three pitches
in a row that were right near the head. Nowadays,
there'd be a court martial on Channel Park for doing that.
(37:25):
But anyway, I asked Matt Williams about it and he
didn't really answer, So then I asked him again. He
didn't really give me a good answer, and then I
asked him a third time, and then he stood up
from his locker in the visiting clubhouse at Dodger Stadium
and proceeded to yell at me and told me to
get out of here, and blah blah blah blah blah. Alright,
is he cursing profanity and all that? So that was
(37:47):
that was a good one, surprising because he seemed like
a nice guy when he was playing, unless he didn't. Yeah,
nineteen eighties NBA player, But Benjamin of all people, at
the end of his career with the Vancouver Grizzlies, a
team that no longer exists, he got very upset with me.
I asked him about the fans always booing when he
(38:08):
comes to play. You know, every time we come back
to l A, the fans would always pool. And he
started out very calm, and then the more he talked,
the angrier he got, and he started punching his right
hand into his left hand. He made like a fist
with his right hand. He was punching his left hand
(38:29):
and he's getting worked up into a ladder. It was
very bizarre, like what is what are you doing? Benoit?
And so I was asked to leave. I don't think
it was even that bad a question, But there's there's
been a few other ones. So but as far as
on the radio, I mean, there's been some some moments
that were awkward, but we don't do a lot of
interviews on this podcast. We do interviews, but normally if
they're really bad, they don't make the air. So next up,
(38:51):
Tyrone writes and he says who's that new check? I
keep missing the backstory. Did Eddie get fired down? So
Eddie takes a day off? Danny? G and the Eyes
are like, who's the Mons? They don't know who Monsey
is who because she's one of the update anchors that
occasionally chimes in. Paul from Minneapolis. Is your favorite childhood cartoon?
(39:12):
We've been through this before, Danny. We've had this many times.
I'm old school. I'm a traditionalist. Fred flint Stone, the
Jets in Saturday Morning cartoons, any of those good to go?
Anything different? Danny? Yeah. I think when we were asked this,
I talked about G Force. Besides the G Force, for me,
the superheroes whenever they would all gather together at the
(39:35):
Hall of Justice. Oh yeah, that was a good one.
Yeah yeah, And I always like because they they have
the U the same superheroes. But when Aquaman was on,
Aquaman wasn't on very often. Special episode when Aquaman was
also liked Ice Man. Remember that he would surf while
he shot the ice out. Yeah that was good too. Yeah,
that was good. Frank in San Dimas, California. Some people
(39:58):
who don't know that town called San dime Us, but
it's sand demons. How the hell are these blind scott
NFL officials getting away with horrible calls is a sporty question.
I think that all these guys should be accountable for
if you fuck up, then they should be replaced. Just
because the officials bet on the Raiders and Tom Brady
don't make it look so obvious. Well, Danny, you you
(40:21):
would argue they did not bet on the Raiders right, No,
they did not. I think that if they had got
that call right, the game would have turned out differently
because when they blew that call and the Chiefs fans
were losing their minds like big sports babies. I mean,
you would think the Chiefs never got a good call
in their life, the way those fans were melting down
(40:43):
on camera Whenever the TV camera went on the fans
after that, they looked like they were gonna pass out
in faint over how upset they were. But then after that,
the referees went on to throw eight flags in a
row on the Raiders. There were blatant holding calls. There
were blatant non defensive holding calls on a missed field
(41:05):
goal on Koons where if you see the replay of that,
the offensive lineman engages him and stands him up, and
he's just standing there, and they called holding on Koon's
That was the most egregious call of the game. But
yet the next morning, everybody's only talking about the thing
with Car because of what happened with Tom Brady. Well,
(41:26):
the Car call was I mean, that was a chicken
ship call. The guy call the ball was ore out
of Car's hand, and they agree. I agree, But that
was in the middle of the field. We don't know
what would have happened. You fast forward, and that missed
field goal turned into seven points at the very end
(41:47):
of the game. That was the Chief's last touchdown. That
would have not happened had they not called that bullshit
defensive hold on a missed field goal, which you never see.
That call has not been called. I see what you've
done now, Frank as you've incited Danny j Not really,
but I just think it's odd that people forget that
(42:10):
it was made up to the Chiefs and then some
and the rest of the game. Are you saying there's
makeup calls as that one. Oh, there's makeup calls for sure.
I used to work with the guy that said there's
no such thing as makeup calls, what's wrong with you,
you jackass? You've got mail Sergio the Italian chef, he's back.
Sergio is a legend on the show back in the day,
and I'm glad to hear that he's still around, he says.
(42:33):
Dell Murphy Hall of Famer or not not a Hall
of Dan writes, and he says, like myself, do you
look forward to the day of ordering fast food and
have it never be touched by a grubby human hands
during the preparation process? Yeah? Yeah, I mean I try
(42:54):
to block that out when I go to restaurants because
I know there's probably chance that somebody's spitting loogie or
worse in my food. I try to block that out.
But then if everything's made by a computer or a robot,
what if you want extra sauce or everything's gonna be
like it's like kind of going a subway, even though
(43:15):
humans make it, everything's weighed out. When you go to subway,
like the meats way to the veggie everything's weighed out.
So it's like, what fun is that? I don't I
don't like that. Uh. Susan from Boston writes in she says,
is Houston still cheating, Yes, I I I. My theory
is they are my opinion legally, I'm entitled my opinion, right, Danny.
(43:37):
In my opinion is they are still Oh of course,
and how happy were you to see Springer leave that
game in the Blue Jay's implode? That is part of
that cheating ass droves karma? Well, yeah, I hate to
see anyone get hurt, Danny, But if someone's gonna get
hurt and I have no control over it, might as
well be a stro I mean, it wasn't a serious injury.
(44:00):
When I found out it wasn't serious, That's when I
started to celebrate. Yea, Chris and Marra Cocoa di iowas
is whatever happened to Cameo? I haven't you talk about
it lately? They have that hit song word up from
the eighties. No, No, have you heard of fiber and
used it? I don't know what that is? What is fiber? Danny?
Do you know what that is? I have no idea
(44:22):
what that is. I love Cameo though, well. Cameo dot
Com of course, the website where if you want a
personalized video shout out from a gas bag that does
a podcast with Danny g and an overnight show. You
can do that right now for a It's not free,
but I haven't raised the price in over a year now.
And if you want to be on there and check
(44:43):
that out, and if that's something that would be cool,
if you got a friend to the show that's a
big fan or something like that, birthday, bar Mitzvah's weddings, funerals,
you name it, I'll give you a g S. I will.
I'll do anything on there and do many Mallard monologues.
I actually got in trouble true story Danny on Cameo
because most of the celebrities on Cameo and I'm not
(45:05):
a celebrity, like like real celebrities, they were doing cameos
that are like thirty seconds, Oh yeah, and you were
doing ten minutes. I'm doing a monologue. You know, I'm
doing an opening segment of a radio show. And they're
people like Cameo like sent me a message that what
are you doing? You know that you're it's taking forever
of these videos to upload and then download. It is
like you gotta keep them short. I'm like why I
(45:26):
always felt guilty because I wanted to give the people
their money's worth. Yeah, that's not the line of business
for you, no I I I guess next time I
get cameos, I'll just you know, here's here's My name
is Ben Maller. Thanks for listening to Jackass. And by
the way, the best song from cameo was Candy. I'm
a fan of candy. I enjoyed candy. I like eating candy.
(45:49):
I don't need candy that often, but when I do,
I like it. So I think I said well, r
J and San Antonio, thank you, Randy from the Cape,
Mike and Wisconsin, Joe and New York, all these other guys. Uh, Greg,
time for one more? If you want to do one more?
You want to do one more? One more bonus question?
All right? I don't know. I think we'll have a
sporty one and we have a we have one which
(46:13):
is uh. I think we've been asked before, So which
which one do you on? Here? What's the one you
think we've been asked before? R J in San Antonio says,
have you all ever been fishing before? And if you did,
did you catch anything? And what was I forget your
answer to this. I don't remember if you've ever fished.
(46:33):
So I have been fishing before. I've been fishing no on.
I was at a like a lake and it was
the most frustrating, annoying. The fish weren't biting, No, nothing
was happening. I was like, what, he's something wrong. I
bought the bait I had, I had everything the way
(46:54):
it was supposed to be, and there were no fish.
But then other people were catching fish, So I was like,
what the fuck? You know they're catching fish. There's fish here,
but they're not They're not biting. And I've never been
on a boat though and done fishing. And what about you, Danny.
I know you've talked about this in the past, but
there's no people listening. Yes, it's a new audience every time.
(47:14):
It's like the Godfather. You didn't do a Hail Mary
before you throw your line in? Did I need my
my rosary beads and all that? Yeah? You know. I've
participated in uh Bass Lake derby fishing derby the past
two years and both times, same as you learned all
the tricks from YouTube. Had everything perfect on the pole,
(47:38):
but no luck. Yet. There were other boats that passed
by and they were showing off the fish that they caught.
But I maintained that those were actors hired by Bass Lake.
They were extras to make it look like they actually
planted the proper fish. But I think they just stole
all of our registration money. Well you saw that story
(47:58):
this week. What an amazing using story that that fishing
video that was viral from a couple of days ago.
These two dudes who they were accused of cheating. Have
you seen that video? Was in Ohio the fishing tournament
and they ended up getting charged. They were stuffing the
fish with lead weights and the video made the rounds
(48:19):
last month and the filets and weights and this forty
two year old guys, thirty five year old guy, they
were the ones in some lake in Ohio and they
they would have won almost thirty thousand dollars in prize money.
But now they're facing criminal charges. Good luck here they
(48:42):
the video was all over the place there the two
they're facing misdemeanor charges for unlawfully owning wild animals in
addition to the other charges that they were charged with,
attempted grand theft, possession, possessing criminal tools. All those are felonies.
So they ain't playing around with the whole felonything. There.
(49:06):
What's worse that or pushing a cameraman who's credentialed. Well, yeah,
how about the fact that was the guy's first day
on the job too. You see that watch where you're going, buddy.
But by the letter of laws, it's one of these
things by the spirital law, that's nothing. By by the
letter of the law, that's actually assault by the spirital law.
(49:26):
You're like, okay, it's just whatever, dust it off. But
it didn't help Davante Adams that he didn't even look
to see what kind of It's just like, I'm looking
like I'm better than you. You pee on, get out
of my way? How did we've all been upset like
that before? But when you make a mistake out of anger,
you have to snap out of it really quick. He
should have just helped the guy up. Yeah, if he
(49:48):
helps him up. But we still in the same situation
where maybe we would probably not probably I'll give you
tickets to and to a game something. Yeah, and for
Allegian Stadium. That's like, right, big money, big money, big money,
big money, and all right, all right, we will get
out of here Danny off today. Yes, yeah, it's just
(50:08):
like the Raiders I have a by day. Yeah, I'm
gonna sleep and then watch some Sunday ticket. All right, Well,
I will be on the radio tonight eleven o'clock Sunday
night in the West, two am Monday morning in the East,
all the way until six a brand new week of
radio shows. And don't forget. If you want to be
part of this podcast, you can send in a message.
(50:32):
You'll be a Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com, and we may
use it on the air also on Tuesday's usually in
the morning. I will post a message on Facebook. You
can post a question there if you don't want to
send an email. So we're about to say get out
of here on that, and I have a great rest
(50:52):
of your day, and we'll talk to you next time.
Osta pasta boolation
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, and
welcome me to the beginning of a magical audio journey,
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio.
And that means one thing and one thing only. Look
(00:46):
at the calendar. Look what day it is, Danny male mothersucker.
That's right, Strike up the band, Strike up the band.
It's all right, thanks, Ohio. Are you prepared Danny for
(01:10):
the mail bag? These are actual questions, actual responses from
listeners of this podcast who have contacted me either at
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Spell that out,
not numbers letters, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com,
or on the Facebook page Ben Mallard Show. Either way
(01:33):
you can send your question and make sure you include
your name and city. And we had a lot of
people that reached out to us this week, Danny, that's
a good sign. That means the mail bag. Even though
it's football season, people like the mail bag. I think
it's from your marketing inside karaoke clubs. Yes, the people
performing at the karaoke club on Saturday, big fans, unless said,
(02:00):
I didn't speak to any of them, but I just
merely observed. I just merely was sitting there in the
corner of the room, like what am I doing here?
Why am I? And and a voice in my head said,
you're not that guy. I trust me, You're not that guy.
But I was there, So I was that guy. I
was hanging out there at that time. All right, let's
start out here Blake in Arkansas, right. So, and he says,
(02:22):
Ben and Danny, g I am listening to the pod
from your radio show, and I'm floored about Jed's story.
Did I missunderstand talking about Jed who fled? Did I misunderstand?
Or did he say he used to be a teacher,
gets in trouble and makes the front page. I must
have missed that show. I must hear the story. Also,
(02:42):
as a new listener four years, I know a little
of the Doc Mike story. Anymore. Wild stories over the years,
I may not know. Well, Blake, you've got to be
more specific than that. But Jeed, who fled, has told
some wild stories. I don't know how much of that
is true and how much of that is fueled by pharmaceuticals.
But Jed also said his father was a local politician
(03:05):
and was on the school board, and you can only
imagine the family reaction knowing what Jed's up to. But
I don't know how much of that is like legit
and how much of that is just for the radio.
So it's hard to say. But we've had some zany
zany moments over the years, Blake, So if you want
to get more specific, if there's anything, it's kind of generic.
Doc Mike has been on the show a bunch, not lately,
(03:27):
but he's had some crazy things happened with us. He
used to call me up when he would drop goat
heads off at Wrigley Field as he was doing it.
And one time it made international news because the Cub
game got reined out and the owner of the Cubs
got very upset and the mayor of Chicago, Ram Emmanuel,
was the mayor at the time. My favorite Doc Mike
(03:48):
story Rob Emmanuel, the mayor of Chicago gets on a
news conference which is broadcast across the country on the
news channels and says, we're gonna find out whoever did this,
and that person is going to be prosecuted to the
hollo sic cent of law. And I'm like, well, I
have a voicemail recording of Doc Mike as he was
doing it. I'm going to decapitate a goat. And amazingly
(04:10):
they never found out Doc Mike did it, so it's
a nod. They were big fans of your show. Yeah,
we've had I'm trying to think some of the other
stories that pop into my head here. We we've had
some zany people that have called up working all kinds
of odd jobs. I always get blown away. We have
a number of college professors that love the show. That
(04:31):
always blows me because Lee, the guy I went to
dinner with Lee Klein always says, I your audience just
the dumbest audience. You know. He always wanted the intellectuals
listening to his show. You know, I was like, it's
the radio show. So smart people love this kind of
programming because it's like watching reality TV. Gives you a
moment to shut off your brain. Yeah, and not everything
(04:53):
has to be hard. Oh, in life, you can let
your hair down, have a good time and it's harmless fun.
You could go listen to one of the investigative reporting
podcasts if you need that kind of crap. Are there
any other podcast other than that? We should do a
crime podcast, Danny, think how popular that would be. There's
also the chicks to talk on podcasts about relationships, health
(05:16):
and sex. Man. Yeah, that's also what I need. That
did they do as well as some Some dudes just
love hearing on Warman's voice. But like the the amount
of money that's flying around. I thought the economy was bad,
but this only fans thing. I mean, there's there's so
much money that so many different amateur porn stars are making.
(05:40):
It's a wild It's the porn version of Patreon, which
you know, for five dollars a month you could listen
to exclusive content from Bill Miller. Bill Miller, Yeah, how
do we get in on that? Danny? Is there any
way we can get in on that? Like I can
have a bonus coverage or something like that. I'm not
sure that people would pay to see the scraps now,
(06:04):
all right? Probably not. Mike from fuller tin rights, and
and so Callie says that I'd like to hear how
Danny g makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after
ben show was recently hijacked by P B and J
Hot Talk, and Mike says, do you put peanut butter
(06:24):
on one slice of bread and jelly on the other
or are you one of those psychos who spreads the
jelly right on top of the peanut butter. That's his
his first question. Well, yeah, and you think I'm a
serial killer. Of course. I put peanut butter on one
side and the jelly on the other. And you always
(06:45):
do the peanut butter first, always, Then you do jelly
on the other piece of the bread, and then you
put it together, and then Ben, you cut it in half. Yeah,
well that was one of his other questions. He says,
what is the best way to eat a sandwich whole
cut in half or into a bunch of tiny cupe?
So I cut it in half, but I like cutting
(07:06):
it diagonally. No, no, no, I feel like I'm getting
more more bang for my bite here. You cut it
down the middle, and it to me it short changes you.
I like the angle, the triangle side. What you know,
the the the the angle, rather than just down the middle.
That's corner crunchers. That's not the way to do it.
(07:27):
When you cut it right down the middle, then you
get that goodness, the plumpness of the peanut butter and
jelly right in the center. Now. But if you spread
out the jelly and the peanut butter right you can
get that all the way across and you actually have
more real estate too. No, no, no, It's kind of
like the you think of the coastline in California or
Florida as opposed to the coastline in Massachusetts. If you
(07:51):
cut it down right down the middle, there's just a
little bit of coastline. But if you cut it at
an angle, then you're dealing with like Florida coastline. I'm
talking coastline of gooley peanut butter and jelly. But when
you eat from the corner, like I've seen some weirdos,
do you get too much crust? You get a couple
of delicious bites right down the center when you cut
(08:14):
it down the center, and there's no crust involved at
that point. I disagree. I believe there is no crust.
You have more bites without crust. Cutting it diagonally, and
it's a scientific fact because it's longer. It's longer diagonally.
What's done it is I'll bet you right now, that's
at the bank. That's make a bat right now. It's
(08:35):
the same coverage. You get better bites right off the bat.
I don't want my first bite to have crust involved. No,
your first bite does not have crust involved. You can
still bite in the middle. You don't have to bite
on the ends. You guys who do the diagonal, I
always see you bite the end. Well, I don't eat
it that way. I can't speak for the other diagonal
(08:56):
peanut butter and jelly eaters, but I eat it diagonally,
and I start in the middle, and I either go
right or left. And this debate is for nothing because
you agree with me you should cut it down the middle. No,
but we know the debate stands, and I stand by
my position, Danny, because you get more of those middle bites.
You might have to not take the full bite, but
(09:17):
you still get more of those middle bites. Wrong, alright.
Some other rapid fire questions from Mike from Fullerton. He
says creamy or crunchy peanut butter. I can take either,
but I do enjoy the creamy a grape or strawberry jelly.
(09:37):
Grape for strawberry jelly. Uh And and I can't go
wrong with either one. But I feel like grape was
kind of a more special thing. I usually got strawberries,
so great. Was kind of a special occasion thing. I
like the crunchy peanut butter. But sometimes it gets stuck
in your teeth or the roof of your mouth, the
roof of your mouth, or it hurts your gums a
little bit. Yeah, do you want to avoid trauma? That's
(10:01):
even a better drop than what I said. See, that's
even better. And white or wheat bread white or or
wheat bread is the other. And so I guess I
leaned to the white bread, lean to the white bread
on that. But well, if it's peanut butter and jelly,
the white bread obviously tastes the best. That's the That
(10:22):
is the day old wonder bread come back. It's time
from that. I'll call all right Bury from Nashville's next
He says, Yo yo ma, Benny uh you Bury the
lead mama. On a recent edition of Ask Been you
guys were talking about if you saved your plastic bags.
But the headline of the discussion was it you have
(10:44):
to pay ten cents for each plastic bag. Are we
talking about these cheap ass plastic bags? He sent a
photo that cost about one quarter of a cent to produce,
and yes, that is exactly the same plastic bag that
the those of us that live in the People's Republic
of California have to pay berry. He says, here are
(11:05):
my questions, when did California start doing this? Do you
get a refund if you bring them back like on
soda cans? And if you go through the self checkout,
do you have to enter in how many bags you used? Alright,
so answer number one is I believe four years ago,
five years ago or something like that they started doing this,
(11:27):
and you don't get a refund. They're single use bag,
so you don't get a refund. You can't bring them back.
And yeah, if you're at the self checkout, you have
to punch in how many bags you want. No, they're
not single use if you have a pet, because you
put those in a drawer and then take them out
every time you need to clean up poop o. There
is that, yes, but he says, I mean, you can
(11:50):
steal from stores in California as long as you don't
exceed eight hundred dollars, but you need to pay ten
cents per plastic bag. Berry says, yes, yes. Why do
you think so many people are leaving California to go
to Florida and in Texas? It's things like this that
the bullshit that the people have to deal with in
addition to the other bullshit that is going on. All right,
(12:10):
what is next year? I got mail yea, I got
mail yea. Ron in Minnesota rights and he says, why
don't you respect this St. Louis Rams, the Rams of
the Rams in Los Angeles or St. Louis, They're still
ramming it all day and ramming it all night, whether
(12:31):
they're in St. Louis or l A. It's the same
Rams ramal nights. No, uh, it is not. I grew
up a fan of the Los Angeles Rams. My father
may he rest in peace, took me in. My first
NFL game was the l A Rams and the forty Niners,
and so that was my first experience with the NFL.
(12:52):
And I was not a fan of the St. Louis Rams.
The Rams left and I left, and it's a little
different for you, Danny, right, because you're you're Raider fans.
Raiders have bounced around all over the place, and the Raiders,
I don't think they've lost a single fan. Well maybe
in Oakland they have, but most people like, yeah, the
Raiders are in l A. There in Oakland. Every twenty
years they changed locations. It's fine. But when the Rams laughed,
(13:16):
I was like, well that's it. I'm done. I'll be
a fan of whoever ill people want me to be in.
I'll gamble on games. But I'm not a fan of St.
Louis Cardinals of the St. Louis Blues, so I'm not
a fan of St. Louis Rams. And that was that.
A lot of people don't realize that the Rams used
to play in Anaheim. Well, yeah, they played an anim
(13:36):
also played in I think Cleveland before they came to
l A. So they were the Cleveland Rams before they
were the l A Rams. But teams moved around a
lot in the early days of the end f l
come back, it's sun from now. Call Pierre from the
land of sleep, deprivation and political mailings, says Ben, will
(14:01):
you be inviting Brian Finley to the Mallard Halloween Bash
an ugly sweater party, Daddy. And how will you break
the bad news to Ferg Dog and the rest of
the Findley fanboys, Daddy. Yeah, I am convinced that Brian
probably has some tennis match or a pickle ball game
to play, so he would not be able to attend.
(14:22):
So I don't want to force him to have the
awkward uh situation where he was. I wish I could
make it, but I can't make it. And so rather
than put him in that awkward situation, I think we'll
just we'll just avoid inviting. I think that would be
the way to That would be the proper way to go, right, Danny,
you know I will put him in a tough situation. Yeah,
I think you're right. He will definitely be on the
road calling some tennis match where we cannot pronounce the
(14:46):
player's names. Well, his new nickname is Lovey because you
know what you know what love means in tennis? Yeah?
Nothing at zero even, Yes, I see what you did there, nickname, Hey,
lovey es here you go. You've got mail our friend
Jennifer in rich Men Virginia rights in and I'm gonna
(15:10):
give Jennifer credit. She's consistently one of the handful of
women that are loyal menius of this podcast on the
radio show, So God Bless you. She's like Brady's X.
She likes consistency. I have seen the numbers, Danny, and
based on the numbers, you're a and you're not a
one percenter, Jennifer, You're a four percenter. The audience is
(15:32):
roughly nineties six percent. Man, I'm not kidding about four
percent women sent women. Jennifer writes and says, Hi, King
Ben and Danny g Ben, do you recall the Curb
episode where Larry's bath towels keep getting mentioned in random conversations,
being called ratty, worn out, scratchy, and thin? I do
(15:54):
remember that was a great episode. And she goes on
to say Jennifer and how he defended them, saying he
doesn't like the fluffy ones because they don't get you dry. So, Ben,
where do you stand on the towel rattiness scale? So
I'm gonna one up Larry David on this. It's it's
(16:15):
not so much the rattiness. I don't like a ratty towel,
but I like a jumbo sized towel. And they're they're
not actually called bath towels. They're called something else. I
forget what the name is. Beach towels. Well, no, it's
they're the size of beach towels, but they're they're they're
made out of different material in the beach. It's like
a bath robe towel than answer, Well, weird, but those
(16:38):
are the way to go because you can wrap your
whole upper body in that towel. It's not like your
normal towel that you would get them. I'm a big guy,
and so it doesn't necessarily cover enough real estate there.
But yeah, the new the new towels, you gotta you
gotta use the towel a little bit to get it going.
But there's there's different levels of plushness. And that's one
of those things. I'm very frugal, as you know, Danny,
(17:00):
but there's certain and it comes to toilet paper and
when it comes to towels and things like that, I
want comfort, I want luxury. How about your thread count? Yeah,
thread count on the bed sheets. You want to have
a nice soft bed. You're gonna be in your bed
whether you like it or not. You know, sixty eight
hours a day, every day your life. Unless you're doing
(17:20):
a lot of hard drugs, you're gonna be in there,
so you might as well enjoy it, right, I'm just saying,
you know what, what do I know? I'm just doing
a podcast here. But those are certain things. And and
the great thing about that is you can be in
like a little shitty studio apartment and you can still
still have nice sheets. You can have the same sheets
(17:42):
that some high falutin big shots at right, and the
same the same deal, all right. Next up on the
mail bag, I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah.
Dick in Wisconsin rights and he says, Ben, did you
change the name of your show too? Just the Mallard
Show because you never said Ben tonight saying about the
(18:04):
Wednesday Morning Show for him. Real question though, for both
you and Danny Gee, I wanted to ask, if you
were stranded on a desert deserted island, would you rather
be stranded with someone who doesn't talk or someone who
won't shut up? Yeah? Well, the answer is obviously you
want to be with an introvert like me, because can
you imagine if someone talking your ear off NonStop? Oh
(18:26):
my god, we're gonna die. I can't believe we're here.
We're not gonna have any need. Oh my god, who
wants that? Nobody wants that? So I would pick the
guy that doesn't talk. Danny. Yeah, you know my tender RONI.
She knows exactly when to talk and when not to
and that's rare and women, as you know, man not
to be sexist, but there's some women that can't stop talking,
(18:51):
and then there's other women who are mysteries. They're just
quiet and you wonder if they're brooding, you wonder if
they're mad about something. When a woman in his in
her own head and you ask her if everything's okay, what,
what will she say to you? Oh, everything's fine? Yeah,
yeah yeah, the F word fine yeah, fine, I'm fine. Um.
Now you need to both. That's the most lethal word
(19:14):
that you can say. You need this really good medium,
you need you need to be in the middle there.
You're not talking too much, but you're not so quiet
that everything is fine. And she has that. So that's
exactly what you need on a deserted island, because can
you imagine somebody talking your air off like the the
guy in the bar of the story I told on
(19:36):
yesterday's podcast, I'd want to shoot myself in the head
with a nail gun. Yeah, for sure. It's It is
true though, like when you're in a relationship and a
woman is upset with you, the cone of silence and
then the I'm fine. It's so obvious. It's like, you know,
it's like, come on, we all know. And as far
(19:58):
as the name of the show, so a of days
this week, I said the Mallard Show and I didn't
say the Ben Maller Show, and so people were freaking
out there, like what are you doing. I can't believe
you called it the Mother Show. It's not the Mother Show.
It's the Ben Moller Show. The Mother Shows a different show.
Why would you call the mall Show. You've always called
it the Ben Moller Show. I don't understand. You're you're
(20:18):
blowing my brain out. I can't. I can't figure it out.
I was like, really, come on, were you just switching
it up? I just tossed it out. I don't even
know why I started saying, and I said it, and
then all of a sudden, I'm getting all these people
that are like I I can't handle this. Ah, your fault, Ben.
(20:40):
We don't like change even the name just missing my
first name, Come back attention. It's sign from that. I'll
call Jason Rocky Mound, Virginia, friend of the show hat
benefactor rights in. He says this week, my question is
for Danny g A. Are you planning on going to
(21:01):
any Raider games this year? And if so, you're gonna
be taking the family. If you do, let us know
the cost of that one in Vegas. Well, yeah, before Danny,
you said you weren't gonna go because you have to
work on Sunday. But now you don't have to work
on Sunday anymore. The Raiders are going to be in
l A for a game against the Rams later this year.
(21:22):
You've already played the Chargers in l A. Any plans,
I mean, I will have to see the game here
in l A. If I do go. Vegas is just
out of the picture right now because of the price
of hotels, resort fees, resort fees, and ticket prices there
at Allegiance Stadium. Well, you could just drive there and
(21:44):
drive back, but that would be quite the commitment. That
would be quite the commitment. You have to get up
at the crack of dawn, get there, go to the game,
and then deal with all the traffic on the way back.
And you never want to drive back from Vegas on
a Sunday afternoon when the check out time is You
don't want to be doing that. Rather get a hotel
(22:04):
and go back Monday morning early. Yeah, that is the
way to do it. I got mail ya, I got
mail ya. Mike from Sacramento says, does a straw have
one or two holes? He says, and then I shall
ask how many holes does a cup have? Uh? Well, yeah, cup,
(22:25):
it has a is that does that count as a
whole top of it? It's a tube, but there's a
there's not a full tube. So I'm gonna say a
straw has two holes and a cup has no holes,
because if a cup had a hole in it, that
would be a problem. Right where did he come up
(22:46):
with this question? He's doing a lot of hard narcotics.
I think, Thank you, Mike and Sacramento. Here's Magoo, the
one eyed tiged farm trucker from Boston. Baby and he says,
big end and Danny, g would you go to your
thirty fifth class reunion? And what would you look forward to? Much?
(23:07):
I like, I said, a thirty fifth class reunion, Like
I don't think I'm at that point yet, but thank
you pal Uh. No, I really have no interest in
doing that. I wasn't popular in high school. I didn't
get along with a lot of people. The people I
got along with I still know, and if I don't
know them, it's because I didn't get along with them,
or we our lives took a different path. And I
(23:28):
also went to a couple of different high schools for
multiple reasons, a myriad of reasons. So for me, it's
not really necessary. I guess some people say you can
go back and brag, you know, you've you've done pretty
well on radio business, and you could do a victory lap.
But I don't really need to do that. Uh that
doesn't really excite me at all. And uh many people
(23:48):
if I say, you're a loser anyway, So who needs that?
What about you, Danny? Would you go back to a
big high school reunion. No, I don't think so, because
I don't want to see everybody old. You know, there's
the exceptions. There's the people we went to school with
it don't look like they aged that much. But then
there's also the person who looks like they were out
in the sun seven days a week and they look
(24:10):
eighty um and you know you don't want to think
about your own mortality. We saw a commercial on TV
the other night, me and my girl for the Connors.
They had to rename it, I guess after they kicked
Rosanne off of the show. And all of those actors
look so old. That was my girl's comments. She's like, God,
(24:30):
they all look so old. Why would anyone want to
watch that? Yeah, it is to That's how I feel
about reunions. I don't want to watch that. Yeah, and
you don't really need to even go anymore. If you're
on Facebook, you can see what they look like without
having to go to the reunion. You can kind of
check them out, and it is odd. I'm like, do
I look like that too? I guess I do. I mean,
(24:51):
I mean in the same age as them. It's like, Wow,
that's what happened. Where did that have? How did that happen?
Like crazy Oreo Cookie from Oakland Rights in have you
or any of your colleagues ever gotten into trouble for
smoking the Mary Jane and talking about it on the radio.
I'm afraid for the Cooper Loop, so so I guess
(25:13):
I'll go. I no uh, and Coop's been talking about
his weed thing for years and no one's ever brought
it up to me anyway, So I guess it doesn't
really matter. I think our bosses at one point they
were wondering about if they should write us up, and
then they passed the joint to the other boss. He
(25:34):
took a toke, he pondered on it smoke weed, and
he was like, Nah, let's just let that kind of
humor go. It's a fun network. Yeah, I don't know
we have to worry about any any of that. Although
in the early days, I will tell you, when the
network started, they were very button up and they were like, hey,
we're on all over the Bible Belt. You can't be
(25:54):
talking about this kind of stuff. What are you doing?
You know? And then they were finally like, that's a
couple of bosses that and since then they've they've changed
a wee bit, a wee bit. Let's see, Ozzy was
from Western Australia Rights and he says, hey, Big Ben
and Danny Gee been working away a lot no phone reception,
(26:18):
which can be bliss, but haven't been able to listen
to the show during that time, which obviously absolutely sucks,
but that's life, sleeping in a swag under the stars,
keeping in contact with the Mrs and little Miss via
satellite phone. My question is, have either of you guys
had to spend some time away from the big smoke
(26:40):
and family? And I know you work in radio, needed
internet and what not to work, he says, But would
you be willing to do that? Mind you? Twelve hour days,
seven days a week. As you say, Benny, no days off, flies,
nakes and no, Danny, we can't run over them and
(27:05):
twirl it about our head. And yes, we took our
own food and piss a k a beer for you guys.
Just to clarify, that's from Ozzy Was, He says. Ps.
I have a lot of podcasts to download and listen to,
so Ozzy Was, you'll probably get to this podcast by
early three. But would you want to be off the grid?
(27:26):
Danny is asking there and work twelve hour days for
seven days a week. That doesn't sound very good to me.
I like, I like at least one day off a week. Yeah,
it makes me think of the longshoreman. Um. We get
calls from those guys. Well, I used to get calls
from some of those guys. Out on the platforms. Yeah.
(27:48):
Still yeah, right off the coast here in California, they
are digging for the bubbly the what was the old
TV show? What did they say, black gold or what
was like? Yeah, the that gold. And we used to
have a regular caller he was two weeks on, two
weeks off, and he used to tell us about his
(28:10):
crazy shifts in his hours. I don't know, I I
think half of me would like that, Ben, But then
being out in the middle of nowhere, that's probably the
part that would bother me. Well, having two weeks off
after every two weeks of work would be really kind
of cool if you can mind, If you can make
the most of it and travel and do things, that
would be a lot of fun. Like one of the
(28:33):
drawbacks is that in our job, you gotta be there
every day and and if you're not, you lose an audience,
you lose ratings, you lose your job. People don't listen
to you. But if I had two weeks off, I
could like drive across the country and have a fine
time and I have a have a great go on
a cruise that I really want to go on a cruise.
But one thing that caller that regular caller told my
(28:56):
morning show though, is that he was so dead tired
from his work out there on the platform in the
ocean that when he would get home, he was like
dead to the world for the first week, and then
he was like recovered and he had a wheat to
kind of do things, so he said, even though it
was two weeks off, he always only felt like it
was a week off. Yeah. Well, the older you get,
(29:16):
the tougher that gets for sure. Thank you for listening.
In the middle of nowhere in Western Australia, the Great
Ozzy was checking in. Next up on the mail back
all right, come back, it's time, Kevin in Kansas writes,
and he says, dear Ben and Danny g I remember
Danny talking about taking the family to a rather expensive
(29:37):
opening game at Dodgers Stadium back in April. How costly
would a family outing have to get before you decide
to either limit what you get at a game or
to just not go. Well, the easy answer is, we
haven't been back to Dodgers Stadium, thinks opening day. Um,
(29:58):
it's just too expensive to take a family there. We'd
have to sneak away for a date night to go,
and even then I think I would only do it
if a M five seventy gave us some free tickets,
which they usually save those for sponsors and friends and bosses. Uh,
so we don't get gifted those very often. Ben, As
(30:19):
you know, it would have to be a gift of tickets,
I think, uh. And then I would pay for the
parking in for some food there. But I feel like
part of the whole experience is eating there at the park.
But that's harder and harder to do across America. Right now,
it is in the prices of Dodger Stadium about to
go even up more and more because they have to
(30:39):
pay the workers ten dollars more an hour, and they're
not gonna take that out of the profits. They're just
gonna pass that on to the consumers. So they're gonna
raise the price of everything by a dollar here, a
dollar there, and that's how they're gonna get the money.
Do you see how Disneyland is raising their prices again?
Oh my god, come on, Walt would be rolling in
(31:03):
his grave right now. Well, it's one of the seven
deadly sins greed, and they're very good at it. A
lot of places are, for sure. The price of this
show though, Free Danny Free, and you can even fast
forward the commercials. If you're a dick, you shouldn't do that.
You should listen to all the commercial In fact, a
lot of people like to go back and listen to
them twice. Whenever there's a code, Mallard, I type that
(31:28):
in two different times to give you credit, just so
the advertisers know that you're listening to the commercial. When
you hear my name as a promo code, it does
help us out if you punch that in. It's the
only way they know for sure that the advertising is
actually work, that people are listening to these commercials. Otherwise
they have no way. I mean, they know that the
numbers of people that download these podcasts and all that. Oh,
(31:51):
and then if they give a number, I call it
and I just say Mallard when they answer the phone,
that's it, Mallard. That's all you know. Just like what mallard.
Jed who asked, which I think is Jed who fled,
but he changed his name. He says, what's the closest
y'all have ever come to being arrested? Or have you
(32:11):
been arrested? So I have not been arrested. I don't know.
The closest I ever came to being arrested. There was
an incident when I was in saddle back. I was
at saddle back doing the play by play. We were
at a basketball tournament at San Jose State University and
there wasn't a lot of parking outside the gymnasium there,
(32:32):
and I we had a lot of equipment that we
were we were broadcasting the game back to saddle back,
and so we had all this equipment. It was old
radio equipment, so it was heavy stuff. And so there's
this this parking space. I had to back into the
parking space. So I started backing into the parking space
and this rather large woman she comes over and she
(32:56):
slams her hands down on the car, on the back
of the rental car that we had, and she starts screaming,
this is my space. I'm saving the space. I didn't
see her, and next thing I know, she's yelling at
her college age and high school age sons to get
the cops over here. Called the cops. He ran into me.
(33:19):
He ran into me. You know, she's screaming. So I'm like,
oh boy, here we go. Now. At the time, the guy,
the other guy that I was working with my my
friend Brad. He was bringing some of the equipment. It
was actually after the game, so we we were we
were trying to get a closer parking space to bring
the equipment back, but so this one was saving the
space because there was another game after our game. It
(33:41):
was a tournament. And so my friend he comes out
and he has no idea what just happened. He comes out,
there's a large woman screaming at her kids to call
the cops because this guy just ran ran me over
and all this stuff. And uh, anyway, the police came
and they just kind of said, everyone calmed down here,
(34:02):
there's no crime that was committed, you know whatever. So
that was that was that. What about you, Danny? Anything? Boy?
I mean, there's been a few run ins. One I
would say when I was a teenager in San Jose,
my cousin and older brother they were on a little
bit of a crime spree that they're not proud of
now as adults. But they went inside they were stealing
(34:26):
some c d s and they got caught and uh,
I was outside as the lookout, and I just saw
my cousin running out the door being chased by security
my older brother dashes out the other door, chased by
another security guard. My brother was super fast, so he
was all the way across the street. He got away.
(34:48):
My cousin, big guy, strong, but not fast. He got
caught halfway through the parking lot. So it was the
walk of shame for my brother. The security was yelling
to him, I got your friends, you might as well
just come back. My brother had a walk back. They
took all three of us inside to that little room
in the back of the store with the video cameras.
(35:12):
Called the parents said they were going to press charges.
Uh that's probably the closest because we were really sweating
bullets thinking that the police were gonna show up next,
and that was it was gonna be all over for you.
It really well, it ruined that was a summer. It
ruined the rest of that summer because then my mom
really micro managed our time after that happened. But they
(35:34):
talked their way out of the police being involved. But yeah,
my older brother and cousin weren't allowed to hang out
for the rest of the summer. I I am here
to tell you though. That did not end their crime spree.
It continued when school started. Okay, they picked back up
where they left off, like good burglars. They were, Yeah,
and as the lookout, though, Danny, you could have conceivably
(35:57):
gotten away, right, they didn't. You didn't you know anything,
so you could have got I could have took off,
But it was supposed to be the three of us
hanging out that afternoon, So it would have been weird
if their younger brother and cousin was off, you know,
down the street while they were in this store, because
we were all supposed to be together. So that's why
I had to stay and also walk into that security room.
(36:21):
You've ever been back in one of those security rooms, though, Ben,
That is not the best feeling. No, you don't want
to be part of that action for sure. Next up
David Rights, and he says, I just started listening to
your show about a year ago. Have you ever had
an interview where someone got upset because you kept pressing
for an answer. We've had a few on the radio,
but a lot of those things happened when I was
(36:42):
a radio reporter back in the day, and I was
in locker rooms, and I got kicked out of more
than one locker room because I asked questions that players
didn't like, and they got upset and I had some
some crazy things happen in those days. There was a
player for the Giants, the Sandra's Cisco Giants. He was
with the Diamondbacks at the time. Matt Williams got very
(37:05):
upset with me and kicked me out of the Diamondbacks
clubhouse because the Dodgers were clearly throwing at him. In fact,
I remember the picture chann Hole Park was throwing a
Matt Williams and it was obvious because like three pitches
in a row that were right near the head. Nowadays,
there'd be a court martial on Channel Park for doing that.
(37:25):
But anyway, I asked Matt Williams about it and he
didn't really answer, So then I asked him again. He
didn't really give me a good answer, and then I
asked him a third time, and then he stood up
from his locker in the visiting clubhouse at Dodger Stadium
and proceeded to yell at me and told me to
get out of here, and blah blah blah blah blah. Alright,
is he cursing profanity and all that? So that was
(37:47):
that was a good one, surprising because he seemed like
a nice guy when he was playing, unless he didn't. Yeah,
nineteen eighties NBA player, But Benjamin of all people, at
the end of his career with the Vancouver Grizzlies, a
team that no longer exists, he got very upset with me.
I asked him about the fans always booing when he
(38:08):
comes to play. You know, every time we come back
to l A, the fans would always pool. And he
started out very calm, and then the more he talked,
the angrier he got, and he started punching his right
hand into his left hand. He made like a fist
with his right hand. He was punching his left hand
(38:29):
and he's getting worked up into a ladder. It was
very bizarre, like what is what are you doing? Benoit?
And so I was asked to leave. I don't think
it was even that bad a question, But there's there's
been a few other ones. So but as far as
on the radio, I mean, there's been some some moments
that were awkward, but we don't do a lot of
interviews on this podcast. We do interviews, but normally if
they're really bad, they don't make the air. So next up,
(38:51):
Tyrone writes and he says who's that new check? I
keep missing the backstory. Did Eddie get fired down? So
Eddie takes a day off? Danny? G and the Eyes
are like, who's the Mons? They don't know who Monsey
is who because she's one of the update anchors that
occasionally chimes in. Paul from Minneapolis. Is your favorite childhood cartoon?
(39:12):
We've been through this before, Danny. We've had this many times.
I'm old school. I'm a traditionalist. Fred flint Stone, the
Jets in Saturday Morning cartoons, any of those good to go?
Anything different? Danny? Yeah. I think when we were asked this,
I talked about G Force. Besides the G Force, for me,
the superheroes whenever they would all gather together at the
(39:35):
Hall of Justice. Oh yeah, that was a good one.
Yeah yeah, And I always like because they they have
the U the same superheroes. But when Aquaman was on,
Aquaman wasn't on very often. Special episode when Aquaman was
also liked Ice Man. Remember that he would surf while
he shot the ice out. Yeah that was good too. Yeah,
that was good. Frank in San Dimas, California. Some people
(39:58):
who don't know that town called San dime Us, but
it's sand demons. How the hell are these blind scott
NFL officials getting away with horrible calls is a sporty question.
I think that all these guys should be accountable for
if you fuck up, then they should be replaced. Just
because the officials bet on the Raiders and Tom Brady
don't make it look so obvious. Well, Danny, you you
(40:21):
would argue they did not bet on the Raiders right, No,
they did not. I think that if they had got
that call right, the game would have turned out differently
because when they blew that call and the Chiefs fans
were losing their minds like big sports babies. I mean,
you would think the Chiefs never got a good call
in their life, the way those fans were melting down
(40:43):
on camera Whenever the TV camera went on the fans
after that, they looked like they were gonna pass out
in faint over how upset they were. But then after that,
the referees went on to throw eight flags in a
row on the Raiders. There were blatant holding calls. There
were blatant non defensive holding calls on a missed field
(41:05):
goal on Koons where if you see the replay of that,
the offensive lineman engages him and stands him up, and
he's just standing there, and they called holding on Koon's
That was the most egregious call of the game. But
yet the next morning, everybody's only talking about the thing
with Car because of what happened with Tom Brady. Well,
(41:26):
the Car call was I mean, that was a chicken
ship call. The guy call the ball was ore out
of Car's hand, and they agree. I agree, But that
was in the middle of the field. We don't know
what would have happened. You fast forward, and that missed
field goal turned into seven points at the very end
(41:47):
of the game. That was the Chief's last touchdown. That
would have not happened had they not called that bullshit
defensive hold on a missed field goal, which you never see.
That call has not been called. I see what you've
done now, Frank as you've incited Danny j Not really,
but I just think it's odd that people forget that
(42:10):
it was made up to the Chiefs and then some
and the rest of the game. Are you saying there's
makeup calls as that one. Oh, there's makeup calls for sure.
I used to work with the guy that said there's
no such thing as makeup calls, what's wrong with you,
you jackass? You've got mail Sergio the Italian chef, he's back.
Sergio is a legend on the show back in the day,
and I'm glad to hear that he's still around, he says.
(42:33):
Dell Murphy Hall of Famer or not not a Hall
of Dan writes, and he says, like myself, do you
look forward to the day of ordering fast food and
have it never be touched by a grubby human hands
during the preparation process? Yeah? Yeah, I mean I try
(42:54):
to block that out when I go to restaurants because
I know there's probably chance that somebody's spitting loogie or
worse in my food. I try to block that out.
But then if everything's made by a computer or a robot,
what if you want extra sauce or everything's gonna be
like it's like kind of going a subway, even though
(43:15):
humans make it, everything's weighed out. When you go to subway,
like the meats way to the veggie everything's weighed out.
So it's like, what fun is that? I don't I
don't like that. Uh. Susan from Boston writes in she says,
is Houston still cheating, Yes, I I I. My theory
is they are my opinion legally, I'm entitled my opinion, right, Danny.
(43:37):
In my opinion is they are still Oh of course,
and how happy were you to see Springer leave that
game in the Blue Jay's implode? That is part of
that cheating ass droves karma? Well, yeah, I hate to
see anyone get hurt, Danny, But if someone's gonna get
hurt and I have no control over it, might as
well be a stro I mean, it wasn't a serious injury.
(44:00):
When I found out it wasn't serious, That's when I
started to celebrate. Yea, Chris and Marra Cocoa di iowas
is whatever happened to Cameo? I haven't you talk about
it lately? They have that hit song word up from
the eighties. No, No, have you heard of fiber and
used it? I don't know what that is? What is fiber? Danny?
Do you know what that is? I have no idea
(44:22):
what that is. I love Cameo though, well. Cameo dot
Com of course, the website where if you want a
personalized video shout out from a gas bag that does
a podcast with Danny g and an overnight show. You
can do that right now for a It's not free,
but I haven't raised the price in over a year now.
And if you want to be on there and check
(44:43):
that out, and if that's something that would be cool,
if you got a friend to the show that's a
big fan or something like that, birthday, bar Mitzvah's weddings, funerals,
you name it, I'll give you a g S. I will.
I'll do anything on there and do many Mallard monologues.
I actually got in trouble true story Danny on Cameo
because most of the celebrities on Cameo and I'm not
(45:05):
a celebrity, like like real celebrities, they were doing cameos
that are like thirty seconds, Oh yeah, and you were
doing ten minutes. I'm doing a monologue. You know, I'm
doing an opening segment of a radio show. And they're
people like Cameo like sent me a message that what
are you doing? You know that you're it's taking forever
of these videos to upload and then download. It is
like you gotta keep them short. I'm like why I
(45:26):
always felt guilty because I wanted to give the people
their money's worth. Yeah, that's not the line of business
for you, no I I I guess next time I
get cameos, I'll just you know, here's here's My name
is Ben Maller. Thanks for listening to Jackass. And by
the way, the best song from cameo was Candy. I'm
a fan of candy. I enjoyed candy. I like eating candy.
(45:49):
I don't need candy that often, but when I do,
I like it. So I think I said well, r
J and San Antonio, thank you, Randy from the Cape,
Mike and Wisconsin, Joe and New York, all these other guys. Uh, Greg,
time for one more? If you want to do one more?
You want to do one more? One more bonus question?
All right? I don't know. I think we'll have a
sporty one and we have a we have one which
(46:13):
is uh. I think we've been asked before, So which
which one do you on? Here? What's the one you
think we've been asked before? R J in San Antonio says,
have you all ever been fishing before? And if you did,
did you catch anything? And what was I forget your
answer to this. I don't remember if you've ever fished.
(46:33):
So I have been fishing before. I've been fishing no on.
I was at a like a lake and it was
the most frustrating, annoying. The fish weren't biting, No, nothing
was happening. I was like, what, he's something wrong. I
bought the bait I had, I had everything the way
(46:54):
it was supposed to be, and there were no fish.
But then other people were catching fish, So I was like,
what the fuck? You know they're catching fish. There's fish here,
but they're not They're not biting. And I've never been
on a boat though and done fishing. And what about you, Danny.
I know you've talked about this in the past, but
there's no people listening. Yes, it's a new audience every time.
(47:14):
It's like the Godfather. You didn't do a Hail Mary
before you throw your line in? Did I need my
my rosary beads and all that? Yeah? You know. I've
participated in uh Bass Lake derby fishing derby the past
two years and both times, same as you learned all
the tricks from YouTube. Had everything perfect on the pole,
(47:38):
but no luck. Yet. There were other boats that passed
by and they were showing off the fish that they caught.
But I maintained that those were actors hired by Bass Lake.
They were extras to make it look like they actually
planted the proper fish. But I think they just stole
all of our registration money. Well you saw that story
(47:58):
this week. What an amazing using story that that fishing
video that was viral from a couple of days ago.
These two dudes who they were accused of cheating. Have
you seen that video? Was in Ohio the fishing tournament
and they ended up getting charged. They were stuffing the
fish with lead weights and the video made the rounds
(48:19):
last month and the filets and weights and this forty
two year old guys, thirty five year old guy, they
were the ones in some lake in Ohio and they
they would have won almost thirty thousand dollars in prize money.
But now they're facing criminal charges. Good luck here they
(48:42):
the video was all over the place there the two
they're facing misdemeanor charges for unlawfully owning wild animals in
addition to the other charges that they were charged with,
attempted grand theft, possession, possessing criminal tools. All those are felonies.
So they ain't playing around with the whole felonything. There.
(49:06):
What's worse that or pushing a cameraman who's credentialed. Well, yeah,
how about the fact that was the guy's first day
on the job too. You see that watch where you're going, buddy.
But by the letter of laws, it's one of these
things by the spirital law, that's nothing. By by the
letter of the law, that's actually assault by the spirital law.
(49:26):
You're like, okay, it's just whatever, dust it off. But
it didn't help Davante Adams that he didn't even look
to see what kind of It's just like, I'm looking
like I'm better than you. You pee on, get out
of my way? How did we've all been upset like
that before? But when you make a mistake out of anger,
you have to snap out of it really quick. He
should have just helped the guy up. Yeah, if he
(49:48):
helps him up. But we still in the same situation
where maybe we would probably not probably I'll give you
tickets to and to a game something. Yeah, and for
Allegian Stadium. That's like, right, big money, big money, big money,
big money, and all right, all right, we will get
out of here Danny off today. Yes, yeah, it's just
(50:08):
like the Raiders I have a by day. Yeah, I'm
gonna sleep and then watch some Sunday ticket. All right, Well,
I will be on the radio tonight eleven o'clock Sunday
night in the West, two am Monday morning in the East,
all the way until six a brand new week of
radio shows. And don't forget. If you want to be
part of this podcast, you can send in a message.
(50:32):
You'll be a Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com, and we may
use it on the air also on Tuesday's usually in
the morning. I will post a message on Facebook. You
can post a question there if you don't want to
send an email. So we're about to say get out
of here on that, and I have a great rest
(50:52):
of your day, and we'll talk to you next time.
Osta pasta boolation
Host
Ben Maller
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