December 3, 2022 • 35 mins
Ben Maller is back with Danny G.! They're having too much fun for your Saturday, talking EAS Alerts in Paradise, David Smashes the Bar, Just Like the Pilgrims, Getting the Private Dress Show, the Lecture, and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something Special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Mallard starts right now in the air everywhere in
the podcast Do Joe we Go, the much anticipated and
not miss podcast of the year. This is gonna win
(00:44):
us the pod Gold Medal. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Mallard and the newly married Danny g Radio. It's that time, Danny.
We hyped it up. You're the star of the show.
It's all about you, Danny. In depth team coverage, a
(01:06):
global exclusive. Everyone is dying to get this information wrong
as we span the globe kind of I mean California
to Hawaii and and back, and nine out of ten
paparazzo's agree. This is gonna be an award winning podcast,
so I cannot wait. First of all, congratulations Danny Mozeltov.
(01:30):
You did send me a few text messages when you
were in Hawaii and it it looked beautiful, and you
were concerned about the weather and all that, and it
seemed like everything was really really good. Yeah, man, it
went better than expected. Uh, there was definitely a weather
scare at the beginning, and as a fellow radio nerd,
you can appreciate the fact, Ben that I heard e
(01:52):
A s alerts on the radio, but for a major
volcanic eruption. Oh that's right. You were there in the
volcanea as Manta Loa erupted for the first time in
thirty eight years. And the lava is still flowing right
now as we record this. So that was pretty wild.
(02:13):
And then there was this big flash flood alert for
Hannah and obviously the big famous road to Hanna that
area was flooded. And this was the night before our wedding.
So yeah, okay, so we're driving home from the dinner
with family right before the big day and we are
(02:35):
on why Alea and we are nervous as hell because
there was a chance of showers between four and six
pm and our wedding was scheduled for sunset at four
thirty pm. Well you think at that point, maybe it's
maybe a late night wedding. Maybe we'll do late under
the under the moonlight, the beautiful Hawaiian moonlight. There No,
(02:59):
there was only one other option with the company who
helped us with our beach ceremony, and that was to
move it to the morning at eight thirty am. So
a sunrise morning, A sunrise wedding, I should say morning.
I'm not really a morning person. I mean, look, the
whole thing. The star of this show, let's be real,
(03:22):
was this fancy ass dress, your wife wedding dress, A solid, traditional,
good looking so the former tender RONI because I guess
she's a wife RONI. Now, dude, not only did she
starve herself to fit into this coke bottle dress, this
(03:43):
thing was blinged out. It had the long tail trail
whatever they call it. I mean she did it up
nice with the dress, and I didn't get to see
it until she actually walked up to me on the
wedding day. So did she want to stand in pouring
(04:04):
rain wearing this ball or dress? The answer, as you
can guess, is fucking no. And she was emotional and
crying about this bend even before we left to get there,
because obviously her and her family kept checking the weather forecast. Wow,
all right, and so I have questions, can I can
(04:25):
we have a Q and a all? Uh? So I
got married in Hawaii on the beach. It was a
very small reel lope, but we did have a photographer.
We had, you know, a person obviously presiding over the
wedding and the vows and all that. But you gotta
like stay away from the bride to be before the wedding,
So like, what's the move here? Like you guys, My
(04:49):
wife went to like the get all dolled up and
have the makeup done and all that, and then I
was stuck. We were by ourselves. So I was like
by myself in the hotel room and I it's just
like calling random people, Hey, I'm about to get married,
and they were like trying to talk me out of
it and all that. It was. Did you have a
similar experience, Danny? I got, how are you killing the
time that you had before the wedding? Because a lot
(05:11):
of thoughts go through a man's head they're like what
you know, I'm sure I want to do this? Is this?
Is this right? What what happens if this takes place?
Like all that stuff? So how did you handle it?
Really good question? Ben and I'm not just saying that
like John MORROSSI does to every single question thrown his
way on the network. Great question, Ben, is no, that
(05:33):
really is a good question, because the first day we
get there, we arrive and we're so excited to be
on the island. As you know, you step off the
plane and it's eighty two degrees and perfect. It's gonna
be a great trip. We check into our airbnb. Huge problem.
It does not match the pictures. This freaking thing was
(05:55):
so expensive, Ben, because obviously it's a long stay at
this air B and B. They lied their asses off
on these photos. Was it older? Was it more run
down than they sent the picture of Is that it
was older? It was definitely dusty and kind of dirty.
The view was a two million dollar view of the ocean,
(06:18):
but it was dusty and damp and dirty. And the
a C would not kick on. Oh I had we
had the same problem. We were in Hawaii. Mean, the
wife were just and and you know, it's Hawaii, it's hot.
You want to have a nice air condition. You don't
want to sit in the heat, and you're in your
own apartment. You're in here. Come exactly now, at this point,
(06:40):
it's now ninety degrees outside and humid, very humid, and
we are we are trying to unpack our suitcases in
this airbnb and my bride to be disappears and she
doesn't come out for a while. But I hear a
suitcase slamming on the floor, so I'm like, okay, I
(07:02):
walk in to check on her, and she says, this
is not what we fucking paid for. Oh no, now,
oh boy, now it's on. Now, now it is on
like Donkey Kong, right, the inevitable meltdown. So at this
point does she just give up and say that's it,
We're predestined to this, or does she call and raise
(07:24):
Holy Hell and said try to get moved somewhere else.
I mean, you can't really call anybody. There is a
person listed obviously, the quote unquote landlord, but it's a
lock box to get in or a code box to
get into these places. They have their own cleaning service.
Most of these places, like especially on the islands, the
(07:45):
landlords are not in sight. There nowhere to be found,
and they like it that way. Okay, but can't you
I've only stayed a little bit of air and bbscusing
my wife handles all that, But can't you contact Airbnb
and say, wait a minute, you know what's going on here. Yeah,
but there's deposits involved. You have to wait to get
your money returned. You'd have to find another spot, which
(08:07):
is almost impossible at this point because you have to
do all of this in such great advance that it's
not just an easy fix. Yeah. It was over dramatic,
and she admitted that the following day, when you walk
into the place that you paid a lot of money for,
you are expecting to get your money's worth. Yeah, let's
(08:28):
understanding about you. Guys have been planning this for how long?
How many? Like over a year? Right, at least for
for eleven months? Yeah, so basically a year. Okay, Yeah,
I get it, because she's thinking to herself, this is
not where I want to sit and have the makeup
ladies show up. So I had to think fast, Ben,
I did have an emergency reserve. Okay. I called and
(08:52):
talked to a manager at the Four Seasons and while
it all right, and I told her what was going on,
explained everything you said. This is my my perfect wedding,
my wife to be his upset. You must help me.
I'm kind of a big deal. I'm very happy for you.
And she said, pay the entry level room to get
(09:14):
in here, and I will upgrade you two times to
an ocean view. Nice. I'm trying to do my job.
That's very nice in them. Yeah, so shouts out to Christina. There, oh,
the gain, biggest look of joy you can ever imagine.
Because if there's one thing my chick loves, it's fancy resorts.
(09:36):
You have that you turned the frown upside down and
then then there you go, Danny, that's the way that
goes so right. And now you're already you're not even
married yet, and already you've got some equity, so your
head when you when you f up, you're now ahead.
So that's a good thing. And I blew my emergency
wad early on face my mouth. Her family met her
(09:58):
there and we all had a little get together in
front of the resort on their private beach, and that's
where all the family members got to meet each other
from my side in her side. And so it was
a perfect, an imperfect, but perfect start to the trip.
And now Ben she gets to get dressed there at
that nice resort rather than dusty, dirty, hot, humid airbnb
(10:21):
with no working air conditioner. Now, the other move here
is we try to decode what happened. Is our in
depth coverage by the way, listening to live coverage on
the podcast here as we go through everything that happened
at the famous radio wedding, Danny g Radio, a longtime
prolific bachelor has now become an honest man. Here. How
(10:43):
about the hookers? Yeah? Uh? Did you did you try
to rent out the airbn? Because you still had the
Airbnb right there? Well, you were staying the nice So
did you like, maybe I can double dip on this
and rent this out to somebody else? Did you think
about that possibly doing that? And instead what we did
is we hooked up some of our family members because yeah,
(11:04):
we had family including her kids cramped in the current
airbnb situation they had. We put a couple of our
relatives into our empty Airbnb. Got you, got you? Got
you all right? So you're The wedding went off, The
weather was good, everything was good on that perfect sunset.
What's it called the efficient? Efficient? Yeah? Efficient? Yeah, I
(11:27):
think that's it. That sounds He was authentic Hawaiian dude
blowing into a conch personal bl He made everybody laugh
we had a group of twenty family members on the
beach there. It was spectacular. Did you then roast a
pig traditional Hawaiian lua after you got done? Did you know?
(11:48):
And it would have matched what was going on the
only downside of trampling onto that beach which it's public.
So yeah, you can go out there and have a wedding,
but if somebody's on the beach, you can't move them. Yeah.
So as we walked onto the beach, there was a
homeless guy. Then I love you. Oh great, finally he
(12:09):
got up and moved. Well, it's nice of him. Yeah.
I was at a wedding on the in the beach
here in l A. And they were they were proposed
that they did the whole vows thing and as they
were doing the I dudes, some dude with headphones on
ran past, Like he's such a douchebag. The guy like
ran past and there's all these people sitting on the
(12:31):
beach for the wedding and this guy didn't didn't give
a crap. He's like, what a dick. You come on,
you're fired. There was a lady playing the ukulele we
called ukulele and um the part I hated the most
was the forced poses with the pictures, and any time
I got too close to my bride, she's like, get
(12:53):
away from me or making me hot, you get away
from me. It's very it's very inconvenient, the photos and
all that, and it's a it's a headache, hey man.
Plus the other thing is like, and hopefully you guys
are married for forever and ever and all that, and
then like as you age, you'll look back and you'll
be like, well, I don't look like that anymore. You know.
(13:13):
Obviously it started, it becomes agonizing, you know, like what
happened there? Man? Uh? Yeah, hopefully I shed some pounds.
I looked like friar tucks. Well, it's stress of having
to come up with all the money, and what an
irritation that is after we eight my feelings this past
(13:33):
year trying to save up all that money. For sure,
for sure, the inner was good, the food was delicious.
I should back up though, that night where there was
that flash flood warning where we had the little meal
with our families. That was the only one incident we
had with somebody drinking too much. Oh So, to protect
(13:58):
the innocent and the guilt, I'll change his name to
uh David. Okay, okay, David. I'm sure nobody don't know
who that is. No, No, that's name. David may have
or may not have drank six white claws on the beach,
right in front of the Four Seasons. Okay, Now did
(14:22):
he pay for those, because that's probably that's probably five grand.
He put down drinks when he got off the plane.
He bought those at Costco. Okay, that's a smart move,
all right, Right, so now he brings his Costco liquor
to the beach. Don't tell me to calm him down.
He's one of those guys. Oh boy, fully lubricated, right
fully lubricated. He's seeing pink spiders at this point. Okay,
(14:45):
I'm fine, I'll show you who's who's calm. He followed
some of us up to the bar where the more
responsible adults had one or two lava flows, but then
cut it off. My cousin looks at me and he's like, man,
he can drink, And I'm like, you don't know the
half of it. David is a world class drinker. Is
normally south, you know. I mean, at this point, Ben,
(15:09):
he was not teetering over the edge. He still was like,
very personable and funny and he hadn't gone to the
dark side yet. Okay, So I was gonna bring that
up because I learned doing the Overnight Show years ago.
The there are four types of heavy drinkers. There's four types.
There's the there's the Hemmingway who they're the same, whether
(15:32):
they drink a lot or they don't, doesn't alcohol doesn't
impact their personality. There's the Mary Poppins, the person that
you know, that person that drinks a lot and becomes
nicer and more around and kind of lets themselves go
a little bit and they're They're like, I guess I
would be like that a little bit because I'm pretty introverted.
So if I drink, I think i'd be more social. Uh,
(15:53):
maybe the nutty professor would be the better one, because
that's actually the one that becomes more social. So maybe
the nut profession. But the doctor, the ster hide one
is the one that becomes very hostile and aggressive and
does physical things that they probably shouldn't do and they
wouldn't do if they weren't completely liquor it up. So
which one of those is is David? I would say
(16:17):
that David is He's a nice loser until he tipped
to the other side. And when he crosses the rubicon, yes,
then he is sleeping on the side of the road.
At that point he's urinating in his paints, screaming at
the heavens. It's wonderful hitting cylinders. How to prove my point,
(16:46):
we all left, went back to our places, got changed,
and all met at the Monkey Pod for dinner. And
if you go to Hawaii, make sure you hit up
the Monkey Pod. Really good restaurant. And they are not
a paid sponsor. I wish they were, though been, because
that bill, Holy walk the Moly. So we're and we're
really just doing appetizers to We're like, we're looking at
(17:08):
this menu and we're like, damn, we can't all afford
an entree. This bill would be ten thous dollars. So
we're splitting appetizers. Everybody has one drink except for David.
How many drinks do you think David has in front
of him at the Monkey Pod. Oh, he's got to
have at least two, right, at least two, got two
drinks in front of them, and now, unfortunately he is
(17:31):
tipped to the other side. My bride, who's a very
good host, she tried to jump in and save the
moment by doing what a lot of boozers don't like,
and that was her grabbing his hand and saying, David,
let's move to the end of the table. I think
family down there want to visit with you. Now, David
(17:54):
might have been tipped to the other side, but he
knew exactly what she was doing, and he was like,
fuck you, I know what you're doing. You're trying to
get me out of here because I'm annoying all of you.
And he looks at my cousin and my cousin's wife
and he does the double birds. He looks all of
us right in the eyes, and he says, fuck you, guys.
(18:20):
We're putting in a couple more food orders for appetizers.
And now David is talking and trying to make this
waitress laugh, and he's getting a little bit handsy with her.
I scooped my chair back a little bit so that
there's some distance between me and David. And David tells
the waitress he's getting married tomorrow. Look at He's already
(18:44):
for a lap dance from you, all right. He's getting
right to the point scrippish of people too, and now
my Tenderoni puts her hands over her face, like, oh
my god, just get this guy out of here. Um.
And so now he's ready to leave. He's like, Okay,
(19:05):
I did my job here, My job is finished. He
walks over. He talks to the girl at the front
of the restaurant, and we're kind of watching him. We're like,
why why does he keep talking to her? And then
he just leaves. He walks out the front doors. He's gone.
He gone. Fast forward a half hour, we're all finished eating.
The waitress comes over and she says, your check is handled.
(19:28):
So what he did is when he was talking to
that girl at the front, he was giving them his
card info. Yeah, I guess he kind of felt bad
for the little thing, but he paid for the whole check.
This guy's got cash. I don't know. I don't know
he didn't. It didn't look like it. Um. Is gonna
(19:48):
be one of those things when he sobers up. What
the fund did I just do here? We wondered that
same thing, Ben, because he still should have been on
foot at that point, because it would have on a
long walk. Can't find him, call his phone, he answers finally,
and we're like, where are you? And he says, in America. Now,
(20:11):
I's just working with us because we're like, dude, thanks
for paying for the bill. You didn't need to walk out,
like we're trying to give you a ride. Where are you?
And he said, at least he's not in Guam at
that his Guam American territory. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead,
don't worry about me. I'm just gonna find the beach
and take a nap. Nobody can locate him. He is
(20:32):
answering his phone and he's laughing, he's cracking jokes. He's
still being a dick. He's like, fuck you guys, I'm
in America. That's all that matters. I'm gonna sleep on
the beach. It's better than being with you turds and
stuff like that. So they're kind of worried about him,
but at the same time, he has a history of
some of this. They find him the following day. It
(20:53):
turns out, instead of walking towards the beach, he walked inland.
So he yeah, he walked. He waldered twenty minutes into
the island rather than to the beach. So he fell
asleep on the side of a road. Is that right, jeez.
(21:15):
So yeah, he brought the fireworks to the party. Oh yeah,
you gotta have cut all right. Well, so for for me, uh,
the Thanksgiving holiday last week, we had original podcast all
weekend and what a Thanksgiving it was at the Mallard mansion.
And I've now picked up a skill as a short
(21:37):
order cook. Here one of the longest days of my
my life. Man. Uh. And so it started out I
did the radio show Thanksgiving Thanksgiving even to Thanksgiving, so
I dug my heels in I did the radio show.
I was like, hey, I always worried my wife requested
(21:59):
I take off Thanksgiving night. I'm actually glad she did
in retrospect because I did the radio show. Then you
were you were busy in Hawaii, Danny. So Alex Tisher,
who who was in, did a great job on the podcast.
He was able to record Thanksgiving morning after the show.
A couple hours after the show. Uh you know, a
(22:19):
few several hours after show, we recorded the podcast for
the weekend Benny Versus the Penny and whatnot, and so
we were doing that and then so I go from
the radio show to the podcast. Then after that, I'm like, well,
wait a minute, we've got this we're hosting Thanksgiving. Some
of the older relatives have moved on and my my
mom and dad are gone, and my wife's family some
(22:42):
changes there with whatnot and people getting divorced and things
like that, and so it was our turn to step
up and host Thanksgiving. It was like a big deal, right, aunt's,
uncle's cousins, people and most my wife's family were. We're
there and so uh we we had this this menu
and my job was to prepare the main the main course.
(23:02):
We decided not to make turkey. My wife's like, I
don't like turkey. She don't want to deal with turkey
and all that. So I wanted to do turkey. So
I made a traditional just like the Pilgrims eight when
they came on the Mayflower fahitas. Uh. And we had
a traditional Thanksgiving fahitas. But in order to make the
(23:24):
feedas I and there were a lot of people that
were there, so I had to After the podcast, I
went into the kitchen. I went out of the room,
down the hall, made a turn, went down the stairs,
went around the corner and then went to the kitchen.
And so I then had to uh, I had to
pound the chicken. There's a joke there, and then had
to cut up the chicken and the little pieces and
(23:44):
and then season it for so it tastes good when
you put it on the griddle. And so I do that,
and I had to cut up the vegetables, the bell pepper,
the onion, all that. So it was a lot. I
was feeding a lot of people, so it took a
long time to put all that together. Uh. At the
same time, I also that same day, I had made dessert.
(24:05):
I made cinnamon raising cookies, chocolate chip cookies. And since
I'm now the chocolate tier, Danny, we talked about that
in the previous episode of the shot and if you
were here for that one, but I'm the chocolate tier,
and so I made some chocolates. I melted some chocolate
down and made some chocolates and stuff. And so I
was like juggling all these different plates and all that,
(24:27):
and then I had to get some sleep. But because
it's Thanksgiving, people wanted to come over early. So I
ended up getting about two hours of sleep, and then
people started showing up, and then I had to start
cooking and and all that, and so and I'm trying
to watch the football games on my phone but I'm
falling asleep, you know. I was just gonna ask you
(24:47):
about the games. Yeah, Like I watched the first half
of the Lions game, and then I went to sleep
for like a couple of hours, and then the Cowboy
game was on after that, and then oviously the Patriots
at night. Um, so I was able to cook all
the food, and I was trying to be I was
trying to be a little social with the relatives. I
don't see a lot of them that much, and so
(25:09):
I went up to where the radio studio is just
to kind of catch my breath, and I like fell asleep.
I just passed out and I ended up sleeping for
a couple of hours at night. Um. And then and
then just I was but I was totally you know
how you like you're up for too long and it
just kind of groggy and all that. So it was
(25:30):
a big it was a big pain in the behind.
People like the food though, they were very happy with
the food and all that. So I wouldn't much rather
have the heat is than dry turkey. Yeah, I know,
it was. It was. It was good. I mean, we
go when people did bring some food to they brought
somebody brought stuffing, So they're eating people eating fahatas with
(25:50):
stuffing juste a lot. But you know whatever, it's all,
it's all good. So we had a traditional Thanksgiving just
like the Pilgrims, like the Pilgrims, and uh, that's that's
what that is. Now. Uh, there is more that we
have more coverage Danny of the celebrity wedding. Right, we
(26:11):
go back to our in depth coverage right now, and
it's at a premium this information. And what is next
the tales of Danny G's celebrity wedding. Well, let's see,
I'll back up to her dress just for a second,
because I did kind of make fun of the fact
that the whole weather thing revolved around that. But Ben,
(26:32):
she looked amazing in that dress, so it was worth
all that saving up for that dress. I don't know
what the hell we're gonna do with it now? Does
anyone want to buy a used dress? I changed my clothes.
She was still wearing her dress, which was awesome. Um,
we were running around like the bar area there and
(26:54):
had to get something out of our car, and so
we're standing by the valet guy. I'm in my flip
flops in a jersey. Uh, and she's still in her
dress and we get back to the room. It was
a great honeymoon. It was a great wedding night. She
was posing for me. Um. I guess I'll sell those
pictures on our only fans fans only. I don't even
(27:15):
know what that's called. The fans only. Oh, I think
it's only fans. It's only fans. Yeah. I had a
guy this week that wanted to see pictures of my calf,
and so I said, I'll put it on my my
only fans page. My yeah, but so yeah, So you
guys have a baby calf at your house. I have
two beautiful calves, wonder. Yeah. So um, now we're the
(27:39):
next day, we're at the Grand Wileia and her kids
meet us there so they could take advantage of the
water slides and all the stuff on that nice property.
And the couple sitting in the pool chairs to my left. Ben.
You know, one of the great things about Hawaii is
people watching. Were they born into money or did they
have to save up for this up. It's also fun
(28:01):
to watch people look at the different menus because of
those prices we talked about earlier. The kids were ordering
whatever they wanted pool side, and so in my mind
I'm doing the Mallard calculator, like, oh, that's the hundred,
that's two. That's man. I counted the kids once they
were all out of the pool. Not too not three,
(28:22):
not full, not five, not six, not seven, eight children.
But here's where it gets good. There were two moms. Okay,
so four and four No, no, no, no, two moms.
So whenever any of the eight kids said mom, both
(28:43):
ladies turned their heads and look got you got you got.
So now we're very interested in what's going on because
we're like, it's the and my chick is like, no, no,
that one right there is the nanny. And I'm like,
she's not the nanny, she's one of the moms, like mean,
one of the moms. So we're now trying to figure
out this whole puzzle. And it's like HBO's Big Love.
(29:06):
They were both the moms because the guy was like
showing affection to both of them equally. The kids were
crying and whining to both moms equally. This was pretty awesome.
I'm like, it's it's my future right here, all know. Man,
those eight kids, I I can't imagine having multiple children
(29:26):
how about knew, so I did want to mention uh,
the the the lecture. So after Thanksgiving the fajita Thanksgiving
following that on Friday, Friday Friday, decided to head east.
(29:47):
So made a little road trip to the Grand Canyon
State for the second time in a couple of months.
I've got a relative there who's fighting the good fight,
and so I wanted to want to see him and
just kind of hang out with him for a little bit.
So the wife we agreed to go to. He came
with me, and so I got in the mall and
(30:08):
wibile filled up with gas, made the long trek hundreds
and hundreds of miles there. I think it's like four
hundred miles too, to Phoenix, and actually lives over in
the Mesa area of Phoenix, And so went over, hung
out of his place a little bit, ended up having
a a nice meal. We actually had the food. We
(30:31):
went and picked up the food and came back and
all that, and so we spent several hours with my
my cousin, and then at night I decided, and I
never really planned this out in advance, I said, you
know what, let's uh, let's high tail it back to
to Cali. Let's head back to to l A. And
(30:52):
and I'm driving and my wife's a little reluctant, and
she's like, well, maybe we should get a hotel room.
And I'm like, man, just drive back. I have a
nice house. It's a great make it back, no problem,
nice drive back. So we're driving back, and I'm sensing
that she's this is not what she's enjoying. He's not
(31:12):
looking forward to the to the long drive back. And
and as we're going and going and going, she's she's tired.
She sleeps a little bit. If I'm driving, right, I'm
the one drive I pulled over actually one of the
rest stops out in the middle of the desert in Arizona,
and I took like a twenty five minute power nap,
which I never do. But you're driving at night. It's
(31:33):
nothing out there except cactus and saying for as long
as you can see, and so it's like, all right,
I think on that. And I woke up. I was fine,
I was in I was in good shape and all that.
I was in good shape. Uh, and so did that?
Kept driving, got home and then I got the lecture.
I got the lecture. Danny, my wife, she said, I
(31:54):
don't know that I made it clear, but I did
not want to drive back. I wanted to stay in Arizona,
did not want to make this trip in one day.
And she explained all the reasons why, and of course
I then rebutted by saying, wow, we saved money on
the hotel room and uh, and not Danny. I'm the
one that was driving, so I would have if she
(32:16):
had been driving them, And like, okay, but I'm the
one drive. So if you're the passenger, is it you
know what I'm saying, Like, it's a different perspective when
you're not the one drive. This goes back. We talked
about this on The Penny yesterday a little bit. Covino
and Rich had a big debate on their show a
couple of afternoons ago because they are splitting a hotel
(32:38):
this weekend in San Francisco as they traveled a little
road trip to the Niners game, and they're saving money
on the hotel room by sharing the room, by splitting
the room, and that that's the audience. Most of the
audience was like, I want my own hotel room. I
don't put corners with hotels, but you do, right, Like
(33:00):
if you could save money on a hotel, you do, no,
because I when I travel, I don't really want to
spend a lot of time in the hotel room. So
like I'm always like, why spend a lot on the hotel?
That's what cheap skates say. Though. No, But if I'm somewhere,
I'm just there to sleep. I'm not there to enjoy.
I don't need that. I don't I don't need all
(33:20):
that stuff. I just go there and I'm out about
in a city. I'm just going wherever I am. Like,
it doesn't matter to me. So if you went on
a road trip with a couple of your guy friends,
you'd be fine sharing the room with them. Well, back
in back, when I was in college, we'd go on
some road trips and I I did share them. I
love it. It was awkward occasionally, but I've gone I've
(33:42):
gone on Vegas trips with friends of mine and we've
we've shared a room and and that's fine. I think
the bathroom situation is awkward and and also yeah, I
don't know, it's just uncomfortable. But I could see what
you're I couldn't see your wife's point, Like, I do
want a room too, but you were the driver and
you pulled it off. I mean, I guess you know
(34:05):
how much flat can you really take on that? Yeah?
Well the other two and you mentioned this like I know,
if we had stayed at a hotel room, Um, it
would not have been one of my choosing. I would
not have been the bend friendly. It would have been
my wife would have gone with something that is more
more her speed, more four stars, and you would have
(34:26):
went two stars. She would not have been staying in Mesa.
She would have been staying in Scottsdale. Uh, that's where
we would have en it up and so so. But
in the future, and I will have to be going
back to Arizona sporadically here. I guess we'll If I
go by myself, I can drive, but with her I'll
have to pony up the cash there for a hotel room.
(34:49):
I'm on in man, that's right, all right, we'll get
out on that. We have the mail bag on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
looking forward to that. Anything to Remote Danny any it all? Yeah,
I'll be in there with Jonas Knox on his Saturday
show from eleven am to one pm Pacific time, and
then Steve Hartman and I from Salam after that. And
(35:11):
by the way, we we don't have time for the backscratcher.
We haven't had a backscratcher in a monthday. We gotta
get we gotta get a backscratcher. So please promote the show,
support the show on the Apple podcast page. You gotta
do it, make it happen. Yeah, we'll get to those
next Saturday. Alright, very good. There it is the fifth
hour and we will catch you next time. Osta Pasta,
(35:33):
gotta murder, Gotta go.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something Special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Mallard starts right now in the air everywhere in
the podcast Do Joe we Go, the much anticipated and
not miss podcast of the year. This is gonna win
(00:44):
us the pod Gold Medal. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Mallard and the newly married Danny g Radio. It's that time, Danny.
We hyped it up. You're the star of the show.
It's all about you, Danny. In depth team coverage, a
(01:06):
global exclusive. Everyone is dying to get this information wrong
as we span the globe kind of I mean California
to Hawaii and and back, and nine out of ten
paparazzo's agree. This is gonna be an award winning podcast,
so I cannot wait. First of all, congratulations Danny Mozeltov.
(01:30):
You did send me a few text messages when you
were in Hawaii and it it looked beautiful, and you
were concerned about the weather and all that, and it
seemed like everything was really really good. Yeah, man, it
went better than expected. Uh, there was definitely a weather
scare at the beginning, and as a fellow radio nerd,
you can appreciate the fact, Ben that I heard e
(01:52):
A s alerts on the radio, but for a major
volcanic eruption. Oh that's right. You were there in the
volcanea as Manta Loa erupted for the first time in
thirty eight years. And the lava is still flowing right
now as we record this. So that was pretty wild.
(02:13):
And then there was this big flash flood alert for
Hannah and obviously the big famous road to Hanna that
area was flooded. And this was the night before our wedding.
So yeah, okay, so we're driving home from the dinner
with family right before the big day and we are
(02:35):
on why Alea and we are nervous as hell because
there was a chance of showers between four and six
pm and our wedding was scheduled for sunset at four
thirty pm. Well you think at that point, maybe it's
maybe a late night wedding. Maybe we'll do late under
the under the moonlight, the beautiful Hawaiian moonlight. There No,
(02:59):
there was only one other option with the company who
helped us with our beach ceremony, and that was to
move it to the morning at eight thirty am. So
a sunrise morning, A sunrise wedding, I should say morning.
I'm not really a morning person. I mean, look, the
whole thing. The star of this show, let's be real,
(03:22):
was this fancy ass dress, your wife wedding dress, A solid, traditional,
good looking so the former tender RONI because I guess
she's a wife RONI. Now, dude, not only did she
starve herself to fit into this coke bottle dress, this
(03:43):
thing was blinged out. It had the long tail trail
whatever they call it. I mean she did it up
nice with the dress, and I didn't get to see
it until she actually walked up to me on the
wedding day. So did she want to stand in pouring
(04:04):
rain wearing this ball or dress? The answer, as you
can guess, is fucking no. And she was emotional and
crying about this bend even before we left to get there,
because obviously her and her family kept checking the weather forecast. Wow,
all right, and so I have questions, can I can
(04:25):
we have a Q and a all? Uh? So I
got married in Hawaii on the beach. It was a
very small reel lope, but we did have a photographer.
We had, you know, a person obviously presiding over the
wedding and the vows and all that. But you gotta
like stay away from the bride to be before the wedding,
So like, what's the move here? Like you guys, My
(04:49):
wife went to like the get all dolled up and
have the makeup done and all that, and then I
was stuck. We were by ourselves. So I was like
by myself in the hotel room and I it's just
like calling random people, Hey, I'm about to get married,
and they were like trying to talk me out of
it and all that. It was. Did you have a
similar experience, Danny? I got, how are you killing the
time that you had before the wedding? Because a lot
(05:11):
of thoughts go through a man's head they're like what
you know, I'm sure I want to do this? Is this?
Is this right? What what happens if this takes place?
Like all that stuff? So how did you handle it?
Really good question? Ben and I'm not just saying that
like John MORROSSI does to every single question thrown his
way on the network. Great question, Ben, is no, that
(05:33):
really is a good question, because the first day we
get there, we arrive and we're so excited to be
on the island. As you know, you step off the
plane and it's eighty two degrees and perfect. It's gonna
be a great trip. We check into our airbnb. Huge problem.
It does not match the pictures. This freaking thing was
(05:55):
so expensive, Ben, because obviously it's a long stay at
this air B and B. They lied their asses off
on these photos. Was it older? Was it more run
down than they sent the picture of Is that it
was older? It was definitely dusty and kind of dirty.
The view was a two million dollar view of the ocean,
(06:18):
but it was dusty and damp and dirty. And the
a C would not kick on. Oh I had we
had the same problem. We were in Hawaii. Mean, the
wife were just and and you know, it's Hawaii, it's hot.
You want to have a nice air condition. You don't
want to sit in the heat, and you're in your
own apartment. You're in here. Come exactly now, at this point,
(06:40):
it's now ninety degrees outside and humid, very humid, and
we are we are trying to unpack our suitcases in
this airbnb and my bride to be disappears and she
doesn't come out for a while. But I hear a
suitcase slamming on the floor, so I'm like, okay, I
(07:02):
walk in to check on her, and she says, this
is not what we fucking paid for. Oh no, now,
oh boy, now it's on. Now, now it is on
like Donkey Kong, right, the inevitable meltdown. So at this
point does she just give up and say that's it,
We're predestined to this, or does she call and raise
(07:24):
Holy Hell and said try to get moved somewhere else.
I mean, you can't really call anybody. There is a
person listed obviously, the quote unquote landlord, but it's a
lock box to get in or a code box to
get into these places. They have their own cleaning service.
Most of these places, like especially on the islands, the
(07:45):
landlords are not in sight. There nowhere to be found,
and they like it that way. Okay, but can't you
I've only stayed a little bit of air and bbscusing
my wife handles all that, But can't you contact Airbnb
and say, wait a minute, you know what's going on here. Yeah,
but there's deposits involved. You have to wait to get
your money returned. You'd have to find another spot, which
(08:07):
is almost impossible at this point because you have to
do all of this in such great advance that it's
not just an easy fix. Yeah. It was over dramatic,
and she admitted that the following day, when you walk
into the place that you paid a lot of money for,
you are expecting to get your money's worth. Yeah, let's
(08:28):
understanding about you. Guys have been planning this for how long?
How many? Like over a year? Right, at least for
for eleven months? Yeah, so basically a year. Okay, Yeah,
I get it, because she's thinking to herself, this is
not where I want to sit and have the makeup
ladies show up. So I had to think fast, Ben,
I did have an emergency reserve. Okay. I called and
(08:52):
talked to a manager at the Four Seasons and while
it all right, and I told her what was going on,
explained everything you said. This is my my perfect wedding,
my wife to be his upset. You must help me.
I'm kind of a big deal. I'm very happy for you.
And she said, pay the entry level room to get
(09:14):
in here, and I will upgrade you two times to
an ocean view. Nice. I'm trying to do my job.
That's very nice in them. Yeah, so shouts out to Christina. There, oh,
the gain, biggest look of joy you can ever imagine.
Because if there's one thing my chick loves, it's fancy resorts.
(09:36):
You have that you turned the frown upside down and
then then there you go, Danny, that's the way that
goes so right. And now you're already you're not even
married yet, and already you've got some equity, so your
head when you when you f up, you're now ahead.
So that's a good thing. And I blew my emergency
wad early on face my mouth. Her family met her
(09:58):
there and we all had a little get together in
front of the resort on their private beach, and that's
where all the family members got to meet each other
from my side in her side. And so it was
a perfect, an imperfect, but perfect start to the trip.
And now Ben she gets to get dressed there at
that nice resort rather than dusty, dirty, hot, humid airbnb
(10:21):
with no working air conditioner. Now, the other move here
is we try to decode what happened. Is our in
depth coverage by the way, listening to live coverage on
the podcast here as we go through everything that happened
at the famous radio wedding, Danny g Radio, a longtime
prolific bachelor has now become an honest man. Here. How
(10:43):
about the hookers? Yeah? Uh? Did you did you try
to rent out the airbn? Because you still had the
Airbnb right there? Well, you were staying the nice So
did you like, maybe I can double dip on this
and rent this out to somebody else? Did you think
about that possibly doing that? And instead what we did
is we hooked up some of our family members because yeah,
(11:04):
we had family including her kids cramped in the current
airbnb situation they had. We put a couple of our
relatives into our empty Airbnb. Got you, got you? Got
you all right? So you're The wedding went off, The
weather was good, everything was good on that perfect sunset.
What's it called the efficient? Efficient? Yeah? Efficient? Yeah, I
(11:27):
think that's it. That sounds He was authentic Hawaiian dude
blowing into a conch personal bl He made everybody laugh
we had a group of twenty family members on the
beach there. It was spectacular. Did you then roast a
pig traditional Hawaiian lua after you got done? Did you know?
(11:48):
And it would have matched what was going on the
only downside of trampling onto that beach which it's public.
So yeah, you can go out there and have a wedding,
but if somebody's on the beach, you can't move them. Yeah.
So as we walked onto the beach, there was a
homeless guy. Then I love you. Oh great, finally he
(12:09):
got up and moved. Well, it's nice of him. Yeah.
I was at a wedding on the in the beach
here in l A. And they were they were proposed
that they did the whole vows thing and as they
were doing the I dudes, some dude with headphones on
ran past, Like he's such a douchebag. The guy like
ran past and there's all these people sitting on the
(12:31):
beach for the wedding and this guy didn't didn't give
a crap. He's like, what a dick. You come on,
you're fired. There was a lady playing the ukulele we
called ukulele and um the part I hated the most
was the forced poses with the pictures, and any time
I got too close to my bride, she's like, get
(12:53):
away from me or making me hot, you get away
from me. It's very it's very inconvenient, the photos and
all that, and it's a it's a headache, hey man.
Plus the other thing is like, and hopefully you guys
are married for forever and ever and all that, and
then like as you age, you'll look back and you'll
be like, well, I don't look like that anymore. You know.
(13:13):
Obviously it started, it becomes agonizing, you know, like what
happened there? Man? Uh? Yeah, hopefully I shed some pounds.
I looked like friar tucks. Well, it's stress of having
to come up with all the money, and what an
irritation that is after we eight my feelings this past
(13:33):
year trying to save up all that money. For sure,
for sure, the inner was good, the food was delicious.
I should back up though, that night where there was
that flash flood warning where we had the little meal
with our families. That was the only one incident we
had with somebody drinking too much. Oh So, to protect
(13:58):
the innocent and the guilt, I'll change his name to
uh David. Okay, okay, David. I'm sure nobody don't know
who that is. No, No, that's name. David may have
or may not have drank six white claws on the beach,
right in front of the Four Seasons. Okay, Now did
(14:22):
he pay for those, because that's probably that's probably five grand.
He put down drinks when he got off the plane.
He bought those at Costco. Okay, that's a smart move,
all right, Right, so now he brings his Costco liquor
to the beach. Don't tell me to calm him down.
He's one of those guys. Oh boy, fully lubricated, right
fully lubricated. He's seeing pink spiders at this point. Okay,
(14:45):
I'm fine, I'll show you who's who's calm. He followed
some of us up to the bar where the more
responsible adults had one or two lava flows, but then
cut it off. My cousin looks at me and he's like, man,
he can drink, And I'm like, you don't know the
half of it. David is a world class drinker. Is
normally south, you know. I mean, at this point, Ben,
(15:09):
he was not teetering over the edge. He still was like,
very personable and funny and he hadn't gone to the
dark side yet. Okay, So I was gonna bring that
up because I learned doing the Overnight Show years ago.
The there are four types of heavy drinkers. There's four types.
There's the there's the Hemmingway who they're the same, whether
(15:32):
they drink a lot or they don't, doesn't alcohol doesn't
impact their personality. There's the Mary Poppins, the person that
you know, that person that drinks a lot and becomes
nicer and more around and kind of lets themselves go
a little bit and they're They're like, I guess I
would be like that a little bit because I'm pretty introverted.
So if I drink, I think i'd be more social. Uh,
(15:53):
maybe the nutty professor would be the better one, because
that's actually the one that becomes more social. So maybe
the nut profession. But the doctor, the ster hide one
is the one that becomes very hostile and aggressive and
does physical things that they probably shouldn't do and they
wouldn't do if they weren't completely liquor it up. So
which one of those is is David? I would say
(16:17):
that David is He's a nice loser until he tipped
to the other side. And when he crosses the rubicon, yes,
then he is sleeping on the side of the road.
At that point he's urinating in his paints, screaming at
the heavens. It's wonderful hitting cylinders. How to prove my point,
(16:46):
we all left, went back to our places, got changed,
and all met at the Monkey Pod for dinner. And
if you go to Hawaii, make sure you hit up
the Monkey Pod. Really good restaurant. And they are not
a paid sponsor. I wish they were, though been, because
that bill, Holy walk the Moly. So we're and we're
really just doing appetizers to We're like, we're looking at
(17:08):
this menu and we're like, damn, we can't all afford
an entree. This bill would be ten thous dollars. So
we're splitting appetizers. Everybody has one drink except for David.
How many drinks do you think David has in front
of him at the Monkey Pod. Oh, he's got to
have at least two, right, at least two, got two
drinks in front of them, and now, unfortunately he is
(17:31):
tipped to the other side. My bride, who's a very
good host, she tried to jump in and save the
moment by doing what a lot of boozers don't like,
and that was her grabbing his hand and saying, David,
let's move to the end of the table. I think
family down there want to visit with you. Now, David
(17:54):
might have been tipped to the other side, but he
knew exactly what she was doing, and he was like,
fuck you, I know what you're doing. You're trying to
get me out of here because I'm annoying all of you.
And he looks at my cousin and my cousin's wife
and he does the double birds. He looks all of
us right in the eyes, and he says, fuck you, guys.
(18:20):
We're putting in a couple more food orders for appetizers.
And now David is talking and trying to make this
waitress laugh, and he's getting a little bit handsy with her.
I scooped my chair back a little bit so that
there's some distance between me and David. And David tells
the waitress he's getting married tomorrow. Look at He's already
(18:44):
for a lap dance from you, all right. He's getting
right to the point scrippish of people too, and now
my Tenderoni puts her hands over her face, like, oh
my god, just get this guy out of here. Um.
And so now he's ready to leave. He's like, Okay,
(19:05):
I did my job here, My job is finished. He
walks over. He talks to the girl at the front
of the restaurant, and we're kind of watching him. We're like,
why why does he keep talking to her? And then
he just leaves. He walks out the front doors. He's gone.
He gone. Fast forward a half hour, we're all finished eating.
The waitress comes over and she says, your check is handled.
(19:28):
So what he did is when he was talking to
that girl at the front, he was giving them his
card info. Yeah, I guess he kind of felt bad
for the little thing, but he paid for the whole check.
This guy's got cash. I don't know. I don't know
he didn't. It didn't look like it. Um. Is gonna
(19:48):
be one of those things when he sobers up. What
the fund did I just do here? We wondered that
same thing, Ben, because he still should have been on
foot at that point, because it would have on a
long walk. Can't find him, call his phone, he answers finally,
and we're like, where are you? And he says, in America. Now,
(20:11):
I's just working with us because we're like, dude, thanks
for paying for the bill. You didn't need to walk out,
like we're trying to give you a ride. Where are you?
And he said, at least he's not in Guam at
that his Guam American territory. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead,
don't worry about me. I'm just gonna find the beach
and take a nap. Nobody can locate him. He is
(20:32):
answering his phone and he's laughing, he's cracking jokes. He's
still being a dick. He's like, fuck you guys, I'm
in America. That's all that matters. I'm gonna sleep on
the beach. It's better than being with you turds and
stuff like that. So they're kind of worried about him,
but at the same time, he has a history of
some of this. They find him the following day. It
(20:53):
turns out, instead of walking towards the beach, he walked inland.
So he yeah, he walked. He waldered twenty minutes into
the island rather than to the beach. So he fell
asleep on the side of a road. Is that right, jeez.
(21:15):
So yeah, he brought the fireworks to the party. Oh yeah,
you gotta have cut all right. Well, so for for me, uh,
the Thanksgiving holiday last week, we had original podcast all
weekend and what a Thanksgiving it was at the Mallard mansion.
And I've now picked up a skill as a short
(21:37):
order cook. Here one of the longest days of my
my life. Man. Uh. And so it started out I
did the radio show Thanksgiving Thanksgiving even to Thanksgiving, so
I dug my heels in I did the radio show.
I was like, hey, I always worried my wife requested
(21:59):
I take off Thanksgiving night. I'm actually glad she did
in retrospect because I did the radio show. Then you
were you were busy in Hawaii, Danny. So Alex Tisher,
who who was in, did a great job on the podcast.
He was able to record Thanksgiving morning after the show.
A couple hours after the show. Uh you know, a
(22:19):
few several hours after show, we recorded the podcast for
the weekend Benny Versus the Penny and whatnot, and so
we were doing that and then so I go from
the radio show to the podcast. Then after that, I'm like, well,
wait a minute, we've got this we're hosting Thanksgiving. Some
of the older relatives have moved on and my my
mom and dad are gone, and my wife's family some
(22:42):
changes there with whatnot and people getting divorced and things
like that, and so it was our turn to step
up and host Thanksgiving. It was like a big deal, right, aunt's,
uncle's cousins, people and most my wife's family were. We're
there and so uh we we had this this menu
and my job was to prepare the main the main course.
(23:02):
We decided not to make turkey. My wife's like, I
don't like turkey. She don't want to deal with turkey
and all that. So I wanted to do turkey. So
I made a traditional just like the Pilgrims eight when
they came on the Mayflower fahitas. Uh. And we had
a traditional Thanksgiving fahitas. But in order to make the
(23:24):
feedas I and there were a lot of people that
were there, so I had to After the podcast, I
went into the kitchen. I went out of the room,
down the hall, made a turn, went down the stairs,
went around the corner and then went to the kitchen.
And so I then had to uh, I had to
pound the chicken. There's a joke there, and then had
to cut up the chicken and the little pieces and
(23:44):
and then season it for so it tastes good when
you put it on the griddle. And so I do that,
and I had to cut up the vegetables, the bell pepper,
the onion, all that. So it was a lot. I
was feeding a lot of people, so it took a
long time to put all that together. Uh. At the
same time, I also that same day, I had made dessert.
(24:05):
I made cinnamon raising cookies, chocolate chip cookies. And since
I'm now the chocolate tier, Danny, we talked about that
in the previous episode of the shot and if you
were here for that one, but I'm the chocolate tier,
and so I made some chocolates. I melted some chocolate
down and made some chocolates and stuff. And so I
was like juggling all these different plates and all that,
(24:27):
and then I had to get some sleep. But because
it's Thanksgiving, people wanted to come over early. So I
ended up getting about two hours of sleep, and then
people started showing up, and then I had to start
cooking and and all that, and so and I'm trying
to watch the football games on my phone but I'm
falling asleep, you know. I was just gonna ask you
(24:47):
about the games. Yeah, Like I watched the first half
of the Lions game, and then I went to sleep
for like a couple of hours, and then the Cowboy
game was on after that, and then oviously the Patriots
at night. Um, so I was able to cook all
the food, and I was trying to be I was
trying to be a little social with the relatives. I
don't see a lot of them that much, and so
(25:09):
I went up to where the radio studio is just
to kind of catch my breath, and I like fell asleep.
I just passed out and I ended up sleeping for
a couple of hours at night. Um. And then and
then just I was but I was totally you know
how you like you're up for too long and it
just kind of groggy and all that. So it was
(25:30):
a big it was a big pain in the behind.
People like the food though, they were very happy with
the food and all that. So I wouldn't much rather
have the heat is than dry turkey. Yeah, I know,
it was. It was. It was good. I mean, we
go when people did bring some food to they brought
somebody brought stuffing, So they're eating people eating fahatas with
(25:50):
stuffing juste a lot. But you know whatever, it's all,
it's all good. So we had a traditional Thanksgiving just
like the Pilgrims, like the Pilgrims, and uh, that's that's
what that is. Now. Uh, there is more that we
have more coverage Danny of the celebrity wedding. Right, we
(26:11):
go back to our in depth coverage right now, and
it's at a premium this information. And what is next
the tales of Danny G's celebrity wedding. Well, let's see,
I'll back up to her dress just for a second,
because I did kind of make fun of the fact
that the whole weather thing revolved around that. But Ben,
(26:32):
she looked amazing in that dress, so it was worth
all that saving up for that dress. I don't know
what the hell we're gonna do with it now? Does
anyone want to buy a used dress? I changed my clothes.
She was still wearing her dress, which was awesome. Um,
we were running around like the bar area there and
(26:54):
had to get something out of our car, and so
we're standing by the valet guy. I'm in my flip
flops in a jersey. Uh, and she's still in her
dress and we get back to the room. It was
a great honeymoon. It was a great wedding night. She
was posing for me. Um. I guess I'll sell those
pictures on our only fans fans only. I don't even
(27:15):
know what that's called. The fans only. Oh, I think
it's only fans. It's only fans. Yeah. I had a
guy this week that wanted to see pictures of my calf,
and so I said, I'll put it on my my
only fans page. My yeah, but so yeah, So you
guys have a baby calf at your house. I have
two beautiful calves, wonder. Yeah. So um, now we're the
(27:39):
next day, we're at the Grand Wileia and her kids
meet us there so they could take advantage of the
water slides and all the stuff on that nice property.
And the couple sitting in the pool chairs to my left. Ben.
You know, one of the great things about Hawaii is
people watching. Were they born into money or did they
have to save up for this up. It's also fun
(28:01):
to watch people look at the different menus because of
those prices we talked about earlier. The kids were ordering
whatever they wanted pool side, and so in my mind
I'm doing the Mallard calculator, like, oh, that's the hundred,
that's two. That's man. I counted the kids once they
were all out of the pool. Not too not three,
(28:22):
not full, not five, not six, not seven, eight children.
But here's where it gets good. There were two moms. Okay,
so four and four No, no, no, no, two moms.
So whenever any of the eight kids said mom, both
(28:43):
ladies turned their heads and look got you got you got.
So now we're very interested in what's going on because
we're like, it's the and my chick is like, no, no,
that one right there is the nanny. And I'm like,
she's not the nanny, she's one of the moms, like mean,
one of the moms. So we're now trying to figure
out this whole puzzle. And it's like HBO's Big Love.
(29:06):
They were both the moms because the guy was like
showing affection to both of them equally. The kids were
crying and whining to both moms equally. This was pretty awesome.
I'm like, it's it's my future right here, all know. Man,
those eight kids, I I can't imagine having multiple children
(29:26):
how about knew, so I did want to mention uh,
the the the lecture. So after Thanksgiving the fajita Thanksgiving
following that on Friday, Friday Friday, decided to head east.
(29:47):
So made a little road trip to the Grand Canyon
State for the second time in a couple of months.
I've got a relative there who's fighting the good fight,
and so I wanted to want to see him and
just kind of hang out with him for a little bit.
So the wife we agreed to go to. He came
with me, and so I got in the mall and
(30:08):
wibile filled up with gas, made the long trek hundreds
and hundreds of miles there. I think it's like four
hundred miles too, to Phoenix, and actually lives over in
the Mesa area of Phoenix, And so went over, hung
out of his place a little bit, ended up having
a a nice meal. We actually had the food. We
(30:31):
went and picked up the food and came back and
all that, and so we spent several hours with my
my cousin, and then at night I decided, and I
never really planned this out in advance, I said, you
know what, let's uh, let's high tail it back to
to Cali. Let's head back to to l A. And
(30:52):
and I'm driving and my wife's a little reluctant, and
she's like, well, maybe we should get a hotel room.
And I'm like, man, just drive back. I have a
nice house. It's a great make it back, no problem,
nice drive back. So we're driving back, and I'm sensing
that she's this is not what she's enjoying. He's not
(31:12):
looking forward to the to the long drive back. And
and as we're going and going and going, she's she's tired.
She sleeps a little bit. If I'm driving, right, I'm
the one drive I pulled over actually one of the
rest stops out in the middle of the desert in Arizona,
and I took like a twenty five minute power nap,
which I never do. But you're driving at night. It's
(31:33):
nothing out there except cactus and saying for as long
as you can see, and so it's like, all right,
I think on that. And I woke up. I was fine,
I was in I was in good shape and all that.
I was in good shape. Uh, and so did that?
Kept driving, got home and then I got the lecture.
I got the lecture. Danny, my wife, she said, I
(31:54):
don't know that I made it clear, but I did
not want to drive back. I wanted to stay in Arizona,
did not want to make this trip in one day.
And she explained all the reasons why, and of course
I then rebutted by saying, wow, we saved money on
the hotel room and uh, and not Danny. I'm the
one that was driving, so I would have if she
(32:16):
had been driving them, And like, okay, but I'm the
one drive. So if you're the passenger, is it you
know what I'm saying, Like, it's a different perspective when
you're not the one drive. This goes back. We talked
about this on The Penny yesterday a little bit. Covino
and Rich had a big debate on their show a
couple of afternoons ago because they are splitting a hotel
(32:38):
this weekend in San Francisco as they traveled a little
road trip to the Niners game, and they're saving money
on the hotel room by sharing the room, by splitting
the room, and that that's the audience. Most of the
audience was like, I want my own hotel room. I
don't put corners with hotels, but you do, right, Like
(33:00):
if you could save money on a hotel, you do, no,
because I when I travel, I don't really want to
spend a lot of time in the hotel room. So
like I'm always like, why spend a lot on the hotel?
That's what cheap skates say. Though. No, But if I'm somewhere,
I'm just there to sleep. I'm not there to enjoy.
I don't need that. I don't I don't need all
(33:20):
that stuff. I just go there and I'm out about
in a city. I'm just going wherever I am. Like,
it doesn't matter to me. So if you went on
a road trip with a couple of your guy friends,
you'd be fine sharing the room with them. Well, back
in back, when I was in college, we'd go on
some road trips and I I did share them. I
love it. It was awkward occasionally, but I've gone I've
(33:42):
gone on Vegas trips with friends of mine and we've
we've shared a room and and that's fine. I think
the bathroom situation is awkward and and also yeah, I
don't know, it's just uncomfortable. But I could see what
you're I couldn't see your wife's point, Like, I do
want a room too, but you were the driver and
you pulled it off. I mean, I guess you know
(34:05):
how much flat can you really take on that? Yeah?
Well the other two and you mentioned this like I know,
if we had stayed at a hotel room, Um, it
would not have been one of my choosing. I would
not have been the bend friendly. It would have been
my wife would have gone with something that is more
more her speed, more four stars, and you would have
(34:26):
went two stars. She would not have been staying in Mesa.
She would have been staying in Scottsdale. Uh, that's where
we would have en it up and so so. But
in the future, and I will have to be going
back to Arizona sporadically here. I guess we'll If I
go by myself, I can drive, but with her I'll
have to pony up the cash there for a hotel room.
(34:49):
I'm on in man, that's right, all right, we'll get
out on that. We have the mail bag on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
looking forward to that. Anything to Remote Danny any it all? Yeah,
I'll be in there with Jonas Knox on his Saturday
show from eleven am to one pm Pacific time, and
then Steve Hartman and I from Salam after that. And
(35:11):
by the way, we we don't have time for the backscratcher.
We haven't had a backscratcher in a monthday. We gotta
get we gotta get a backscratcher. So please promote the show,
support the show on the Apple podcast page. You gotta
do it, make it happen. Yeah, we'll get to those
next Saturday. Alright, very good. There it is the fifth
hour and we will catch you next time. Osta Pasta,
(35:33):
gotta murder, Gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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