January 7, 2023 • 38 mins
Ben Maller and his 5th Hour homie Danny G. are having fun for your Saturday, talking Ballroom Benny, Developmental Raider, Good Eats, Pop Goes the Culture, and Back Scratcher!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Welcome into
the podcast, O Joe, It is another edition of the
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G. Radio. Oh
here we are. I like the extended winner, unbel kicking
(00:48):
the tires in the audio box, walking a tight rope.
Danny G. Yet again all the other shows keep saying,
this is the first time we're broadcasting in not us, man,
We've already been on the air. That's right, we're your
seasoned veterans, season veterans in the podcast game. I did notice,
though you can't see this if you're watching the podcast unfortunately,
(01:11):
Danny G. Not wearing a Raider hat, not wearing a
Laker hat? Is that a Is that a hat from
the I believe it is from the Hawaiian Islands? Is
that a ye? It's a Kawaii hat, al right, I
love that. That's a great that's a great hat. So
looking at it now that there's a Raider's shirt though,
so I understand. But I'm looking for you your hat
(01:33):
there and that did you feel guilty buying that hat?
Like you? I've known you for many years. I don't
think I've seen you in anything other than Raider, Laker,
or Dodger hats. No. I have a few non sports hats,
mostly snapbacks, and this happens to be one of them.
Got this on the honeymoon. That's a good looking hat. Yeah,
(01:53):
did did? Did you get that as a souvenir or
because you needed a hat and it was like sunny
or something like that. It was actually the one day
in Kawai where it was pouring down rain. Every other
day there on the islands was sunny, eighty perfect. There
was one day, though, where it was like a monsoon,
the puddles up to the top of our socks. Right
(02:16):
across from where we were eating, there was a little
surf shop and that's where I got this hat. Interesting.
One of the two worst weather events I've ever been
in was in Kawaii. We we were shopping at of course,
we were like, there was like a kmart, which I
don't even think is there anymore. We were in the
kmart and there was this big We didn't look at
(02:38):
the forecast when we were there. We're like, it was
in Hawaii. It's gonna be seventy seventy nine degrees eighty
five degrees every day. And so we're in the store
and like the power starts flickering and there's this massive
monsoon of a rainstorm. It was like the worst rain.
It was a tropical depression that came through Kawaii and
we didn't know about it. So when the store, the
(02:58):
lights go out and we we had to get out
of there. It was still raining. So I went out,
I got the rental car, and I pulled the rental
car up on the sidewalk. So my my now wife
at that time I just got married, Um, she could
get in the car without having to walk. I was
completely drenched by the time I got to my car.
(03:20):
It was horrible and I felt like I had taken
a bath or I gone swimming in an Olympic sized pool.
It's unreal the rain because there's nothing to stop it,
Like it's obviously you're in an island. Yeah, what are
the locals told us? He said, when it comes down here,
it really comes down quick man. The tourists they were
running screaming. It was fun to watch. It was the
(03:43):
best people watching of the entire trip. It's like the
cocka roaches when you turn the lights on, they're running around,
scurring around the floor. On this podcast, we've got Ballroom Benny,
developmental writer, Good Eats, Pop goes, the culture and back scratches.
So a lot to get to, but let's start with
this now. Yala, New Year's Eve three. You're here, so
(04:07):
you had a good New Year's Eve. I assumed you're
you're alive, So that's good. You're listening, um. And if
you follow me on social media, I don't post personal
photos on Twitter because that's a cesspool. But on Facebook
and Instagram all usually, you know, a couple of times
a month, I'll post what's going on in my life.
For some reason, people seem to like that, Danny. I
(04:27):
don't know why. It's very odd to me, but people
seem to enjoy that. And so if you do follow
me on social media on Facebook or Instagram, you probably
saw some photos that I posted last week, but now
you're about to hear the rest all of the story, right,
rest of the stories we are firing and all sylinaters here.
So I visited with the wife there. We went on
(04:48):
in a very romantic day to the iconic Cicada Club
in downtown l A. I've been there before, I've talked
about it on the podcast. I think we've been there
one other time. But this is just the jacent to
skid Row, which is pretty much all of downtown Los
Angeles at this point. It's it's in this really cool
(05:08):
Art deco building to kind of paint the picture for you.
And there are some beautiful buildings when downtown l A
was getting built in the middle of the madness down there,
which is now just terrible. But but anyway, this is
like a really cool old building. And my wife loves
this place, very elegant, you know, she's into that kind
(05:29):
of thing. Get get all dolled up and all that.
I've actually I'm I'm maturing Danny because I actually don't
hate going there. I actually kind of appreciate it. It's
kind of cool. I must be getting old, I must
be getting bored and old because I younger me younger
Benny would have been like, you know, screw that, I
don't want to go on to go to a place
like that boring, But I actually enjoyed it. There's a
(05:52):
lot of history and an ambiance, and it's this this
old dance hall that dates back almost a hundred years.
It is since we're in three. It dates back to
the ninth the Roaring nineteen twenties. It was originally built
as a haberdashery in nineteen twenty, so it's a ninety
five year old building. I realize if you're in Boston
(06:15):
or New York or Philadelphia, there's there's buildings that are
way older than that. But in l A there's not
a lot that's that old because there's these things called
earthquakes and buildings down and bulldozers and real estate greed
exactly exactly, So this place is on the National Registry
of Historic Places, so it's not going anywhere. It was
(06:35):
built by French designers and artisans of the day, and
they even have a dress code. Danny, I have very
rarely go to a place with a dress code. You
gotta wear vintage business or evening attire. Gentlemen they say
code and tie no jeans, no zip jackets, no shorts,
no T shirts, sneakers or flip flops, which is pretty
(06:56):
much my entire wardrobe cent at a time. Psalms, screwed ladies.
You gotta wear cocktail dress, skirt or paint suit with
matching jacket. No sneakers or flip flops, ant suit. That's
not a good look, is it. Oh, it's like Mary
Tyler Moore. Yeah, you don't want that. So this place
(07:17):
the history on it in the early days of l
a back in the nineteen late nineteen twenties, early nineteen
thirties when Hollywood was really taken off and they were
going from silent films to spoken word films and all
that Hollywood legends of the people like Clark Gable, John
Barrymore and other big stars of that era. We're hanging
(07:38):
out at this location. So it's kind of cool thing
about the old legends of Hollywood back when Hollywood was
really like the think about all the drugs, alcohol abuse,
womanizing that has gone on there years and years. And
also when I saw the pictures you posted, the first
(07:59):
thing that I thought of It looks like a place
that Louis Armstrong would have been playing live music at
Oh yeah, for sure. You know, Danny, if you wanna,
you wanna meet up there, we could do like a
double date. I know your your wife's got a bun
in the oven there, but she's I don't know if
you would. You think she'd be into that kind of thing.
I don't know. I'm not sure. If they have food there,
(08:20):
then she's in because all she's been doing lately is eating.
Oh yeah, you can't hit the bar there. They have
a big bar, very expensive stadium like prices on the
alcohol at this place. They do a restaurant. The menu
is not really my jam. You can either buy the dinner,
which costs more, or then you just kind of hang
out there and drink alcohol. What about the ticket to
(08:42):
get in because they say that holiday is a sucker's
night because of all the entry fees to get into
these places. Yeah. So the way that works, Danny, in
my marriage, and I don't know about your marriage you're
newly married, is I get very upset when I find
out how much ship like that cost. So it's pretty much. Uh,
it's like the old military slogan, don't ask, don't tell,
(09:03):
I don't ask how much it costs my wife does
not tell it worked for the United States Military for
a long time. It works for our marriage a long time.
Because if I knew how much was being spent, Uh,
I had probably have Uh I have a coronary, is
what I have? You know? All right? She got the tickets. Yeah,
she made sure to buy the things. But the other thing,
(09:24):
when I was in there and I was thinking about
like old Hollywood, I was like, you know, my favorite
old Hollywood person And I don't even know if he
was a good actor or a comedian, this guy W. C. Fields.
And I wonder because he was a big star in
the nineteen forties. I wonder if he hung out at
that that club, the Cassada, uh, the Cicada Club. And
he has my favorite quote of all time, which is
(09:46):
if he can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
It's from the all time great quotes. And Uh. Anyway,
I was, I was ballroom and I did some dancing.
People were like, well, how do you did? Do you
know what? How I dance? You got two left fee?
And I admit, Danny, I suck at dancing. You you
probably have the moves out there, you know how to dance.
You're more of a dance. I don't know how to dance.
I don't know what the funk I'm doing, but I figured,
(10:09):
you know, happy wife, happy life. My wife likes to dance,
and so I make an effort, and I pretty much
fake it till I make it. My strategy. When I'm
on the dance floor, Danny, and it's like ballroom dancing,
so I'm kind of like just looking at what the
other dudes are doing, and I'm like, okay, I can
kind of mimic that, you know, step to the right,
step to the left, you know, back and forth, you know,
spend the girl around. I can figure that out. That's
(10:30):
not that hard. It's like the movie, Oh, what's the
name of the movie where he's got the one move
on the dance floor. He's trying to get the hot
blood and he's like shaking the fake dice and his
friends are like looking at him. They're like, he's got
one move, but he's really working that one move. That's
all you really need, man. As long as you're out
(10:51):
there having fun, that's all that matters. I've been on
dates where the girls were like crazy into dancing and
they were a little harder to keep up with, even
though I can dance. But at the end it was
a big smile on their face. The old saying is
if you won't take the girl out to dance, some
other guy will. Yeah, no, no, for sure, and it
(11:13):
was you know, it's cool, and heck, man, I'm a guy.
I didn't even go to my proms, so I haven't
done a lot of dancing in the in my days here.
But it was cool. I'm sure we'll be there again.
My wife always wants people to join us. She's like, yes,
invite your friends, and my friends are busy they can't come.
But uh so, if you want to do a double date, Danny,
we'll have to make that happen at some point. I
(11:34):
know that might be way down the line because there
is a developmental raider who, I believe, if my math
is correct, will be on the board available for the
Raiders to draft. Let me do the math on this.
In the year, Oh my god, oh my, twenty forty five.
(11:56):
Oh man, oh man, dandy, we still be podcasting. I
don't even know we'll be alive, but man, better be alive.
I know I plan on being alive, but investilated plans
of mice men and podcasters. But yeah, I congratulations, and
Danny and you found the big news. Tell us how
(12:19):
it all went down. Give me the inside skinny, the
behind the scenes. Yeah. So if we uh go swing
dancing at that old club with you, it's gonna have
to be a few months after August. August ten is
the exact do date. You know that hardly ever hits.
But yeah, my chick, she uh, speaking of spending money,
(12:40):
she sent ninety dollars to the Amazon folks and got
one of those DNA kits. You know, it used to
be that you'd have to wait enough weeks into it
where the doctor could finally do the ultrasound and you
could see some balls, and that's how they knew. Now
they have these very advanced DNA tests that you just
(13:03):
mail back and they email you with the announcement. So
my girl got the email just a couple of days ago.
She shows me her phone and it's blue balloons on
the screen and it says it's a boy. Oh wow,
that's great, that's awesome, awesome to see. And then, of course,
(13:24):
you know, the modern generation, they like the gender reveal parties,
they like the the gender reveal guns, that shoot the
blue or the pink confetti, and so that was another
Amazon purchase. Wifey got those pop guns for her kids
and just two days ago they popped open the reveal
(13:46):
blue and gold confetti that came out of there. The
boys were celebrating. Her daughter was like, well, but there's
gold in here too. She's holding out for maybe the
mistake from Amazon. Yeah, just clinging on to hope that
it could be a girl, because she was the one
that wanted a little sister. But she was still smiling though.
(14:08):
Everybody seems really happy that it's gonna be a boy.
And what can I say, ben some powerful sperm. First
it happens on the honeymoon. Second it's a boy and
boom goes to dynamite. There you go, Danny G. Man,
you get that macheese moment, man, Danny g clearly look
at that. Well, congratulations, I'm happy for it. And you've
(14:30):
got built in babysitters. Do the kids know that they'll
be the babysitters when you guys want to go out
in a few years and all that right? They know? Okay,
are thinking a demand and bounty, a ransom of King's
ransom to watch future Danny G. Danny G Radio two
point oh, the next future broadcaster. We'll do what my
mom did when I was a kid babysitting for her.
(14:53):
She would bring me back a bag of gummy worms
from Costco and say, here, you're filthy animal. This is
for babysitting for five hours. Did I ever tell you
the story? Me and my my older brother, we were
deputized the last time we ever watched my younger brother.
My parents went out to a nice meal and uh
we were we were doing wrestling moves on the sofa, me,
(15:14):
my brother, my older brother, my younger brother, and uh,
my younger brother ended up breaking his arm jumping off
the top of the top of the sofa, and my
mom all, my god, she had so much guilt as
a Jewish mother. She's like, I can't believe kids for
(15:35):
one night and that never again, never again. We totally
ruined that the rest of my mom's life and no,
no more babysitting. But it was quite the quite a
very memorable experience. I have a quick baby sitting tale.
I loved babysitting my little sisters. They were pretty easy
to deal with, my little brothers from my stepdad. They
(15:58):
were some little assholes. There's Matthew who wound up in
juvenile hall. Okay, so that, yeah, that's a whole another story.
But he was always the one out in the backyard
getting into trouble. His younger brother, Aaron was fighting with
him and I heard them arguing in the backyard. That
was a usual thing. I'm like whatever, So I'm kind
(16:19):
of popping my head back there once in a while
to make sure they're not killing each other. But I
hear a a pop but air pop, and then I
hear a kid screaming. I run to the backyard. There's
Matthew a baby gun rifle in his arm, and there's
Aaron on the other side of the backyard, blubbering, just weeping.
(16:43):
Matthew shot Aaron with a baby gun. What Ben, He
came within inches of his left eye. Oh that isn't funny.
Why would you do that? What could of dumbass? Yeah,
m So my mom gets home and I have to
exploit ain this baby gun and how he almost lost
his eyeball. Oh my god. Fun times. Yeah, the horrors
(17:08):
of babysitting. Cheez Louise. I hope my son grows up
to have none of their d n A. Oh this
is and you gotta make sure. My advice here, you know,
fatherly advice is I think you know this. You gotta
get the kid, especially in these days, you gotta get
the kid. If you wanted to watch the games with you,
(17:28):
you gotta get him hooked early, right, otherwise he will
he will migrate to the video games. Great to the
tell other things. But if you can get them hooked
early on, you're good. Right, that's the the first few years.
Like I've had some experience. I won't get into it here,
but did not do the oldo the hookaroo, and you
pay the price down the line. I kind of feel
(17:50):
like my son is gonna come out in a raider onesie.
You think is when I will be silver and the
other black. Like I was joking, I told my tender Ronnie.
I said, Oh, don't worry, he's gonna come out with
an eye patch already on his eye. He'll be coming
out with like a gold chain like Al Davis back
in a jumpsuit, you know, white jumps a little Cligaruh.
(18:16):
That's great. See, now you gotta come up with a
name though, right, that's a whole another ball of wax
act a very important thing. The name. We talked about that,
so you gotta gotta play around with that, and who
decides it? Do you decided the wife do it? Did
you flip a coin? That's a tough one. It's crazy
that you bring that up, because it's like naming rights
to a stadium. All right. I was told weeks and
(18:38):
weeks ago that I got to decide the name, and
I was like, man, that is really cool of my
chick to tell me I have that honor. Like nobody's
gonna fight me on it. That's for me to decide.
But then we do this stupid gender reveal guns and
after they clean up all the confetti mess, they're talking
(18:58):
about names for a boy because now obviously they know
it's a boy. Let's find a boy's name. And suddenly
I'm on the outside looking in and all these other
people are trying to make my executive decision for me.
They're trying to that's trying to encourage you or what's
trying to sway the vote? Ya the judge. Yeah. Instantly,
(19:21):
my girl comes upstairs and says, oh, we were all
talking downstairs and we like the name blank, We like
this name. Look, I have a list of names now
in my phone. Wait a second, what happened to this
being my decision and say, oh no, well I have
to agree with it, hey told Stall. Now you see
(19:42):
you've got multi multiple variables on this because you've got
first name, second name, you a middle name. But then
some people put two middle names in there, right, so
you could do the two. That's kind of confusing the
two minds. Yeah, some people do too. Last names. Now,
that's just too many names, a lot of names. Yeah.
And the other thing too about the name game is
(20:02):
you've got you gotta worry about the initials because kids
are assholes. As you know, you work at a school too,
and these kids if you come up with like my
my middle name starts with an S so bs and uh,
and then my last name starts with him so b M,
which is a code for bowel movement. So as you
can imagine the assholes on the playground, like the like
(20:23):
the Google, So you gotta you gotta look out for
that as well. You got like you gonna have a
good first name and a lot and kind of have
it rhyme with the last name, especially you know, boys
not gonna who knows, but these days but I likely
not going to change their name when they get older, right,
so that their last name is going to stay the same.
You have to have a perspective of the bully. So
(20:43):
when you look at a potential name, you try to
rhyme everything bad that you can with it, Like are
there any curse words? Does it sound like any slur?
But all those negroes look the same. Producer's note, He said,
necros is in the pictures that were brothers, So don't
get your shorts in a bunch. Yeah all right, Well, well,
(21:07):
I'm sure we'll get more updates on the fifth Hour
podcast as the Life. I can't wait for birth. Follow
you to get here at point Dexter, my new son,
point Dexter. How about off? All right, So one of
my michigas is, as my grandfather would say back in
his day, is in the kitchen. I've been dabbling in that.
Uh if only my mom was around, she'd be very impressed.
(21:29):
She's not around, unfortunately. But the culinary arts. So we
talked about this on the podcast. Fajita's Cheese Steak Burgers,
The Grittle Life, Making making cookies, Baking, Benny the Baker,
The Chocolate Tiers, so good times. This past weekend, I
got a bug under my rug, under my skin. Uh
this past weekend actually after we went dancing to the
(21:50):
Cicada Club. I don't usually eat late at night. I
only eat one meal a day. I usually fast a
couple of days a week. But I decided, you know,
it's New Year's Eve, it's a celebrate, and so a
little late night food run to the mecca fat Cells
in the hood in actually in the wood in Hollywood.
So we went to that location over there in Highland
(22:12):
in in Hollywood, just down from the is it not?
Is it l A Live? No, it's not l A Live.
What's the Hollywood and Highland? I think is the okay?
Just down the street from there. Anyway, if you're not
in l A, you have no idea what I'm saying.
But uh, I got my normal fat cells. I want
I want to Texas fat Texas Barbecue. Oh yeah, classic.
(22:33):
I like, I was going big. I was like, let
me go back to my old eating days. And I
ate those cheese steak frost delicious, delicious. And then while
I'm eating it, and I didn't tell my wife this,
but I got in my head, I'm like you know what,
I think I could make some of this ship at
the house. I can recreate fat cells. But I'm looking
at the Fat Texas Barbecue, like, there's there's mozzarella sticks,
there's chicken fingers, all kinds of ship, and I'm like,
(22:56):
I don't think I can do that. That's too complicated.
I'd have to cook up like seven different things and
put it all together. I don't think I can pull
that off. But then I looked at the cheese steak fries.
I said, you know what, that motherfucker, I can make
those cheese steak fries. I can make those. And so
I did. I over the weekend I did. I decided
to make a rip off version. I took a couple
(23:18):
of photos of what they look like at Fat Sous,
took a photo of the menu. You'll be hearing from
their attorneys the ingredients and uh and yeah, I recreated
them and Chef's kiss Danny. It came out great. I
cooked up the rib, I the grilled onions, I made
all that, put that on the side, uh. And then
(23:38):
I cooked up the fries. And then I put the
fries down, put the steak and the onions on top,
and then I put like a pounded cheese and then
I put in the oven for like fifteen minutes and
it was great. It was wondering. Now, not everything was
a success, Danny, because I also made poutine, and I
(23:59):
love poutine, but it didn't taste as good. I think
it's because I had too much to drink and probably
ate too much prior to the poutine. You gotta you
gotta paste yourself with this kind of stuff. Dan, So
not a big poutine fan. Not I like puttine. Well,
there's different kinds of poutine um and and I do
like it. It's not something I eat all that much,
(24:20):
but I I do like the poutine, the cheese steak fries.
If you like cheese steak, you like cheese steak first,
you might have to come over sometime, Danny'll take a
seven days to get here, but I'll make some some
pop not cheese steak friends, I'll make those for you.
So anyway, that was my my adventure the good eats
over the weekend. So pretty Have you ever been to Canada? Yes,
(24:41):
for like a couple of hours, but it wasn't really Canada.
It was Niagara Falls, the Canadian side. Have you have you?
But No, I've never been, and somebody told me, well,
you would like poutine if you had it there in Canada. No,
poutine is really yeah, I mean it's it's pretty good.
So it's just cheese curd fries and then gravy. That's
(25:01):
traditional Canadian poutine. But they have like fast food restaurants
in Canada that have all kinds of flavors of of poutine.
There's a place in Anaheim that I've gone to a
few times. It has like fried chicken poutine with like
white gravy fried chicken pieces on top. That's really good.
Yeah that sounds good. That's solid. That'll that'll fill you
(25:22):
up pretty good. Um yeah, but I have the putine,
the cheese kurds. It's also an homage to my my
brother who lives in Wisconsin, because there's much of the cheese,
the Wisconsin cheese and all. Anyway, now that you got
us all hungry. Pop goes the culture poo poo, p
(25:55):
thanks Ohio. So there a few of these pop goes
the culture stories. So this one, how about this out
of Tokyo Danny Tokyo is So these are actual pop
culture stories that we've found randomly throughout the week, and
we're saving them for this podcast. So the story out
of Tokyo that is so crowded. How crowded is it
in Tokyo? I'm glad you asked. It is so crowded
(26:17):
in Tokyo that the government is paying families to leave Tokyo. Damn,
how nuts? So is that? I mean crazy? It's like, hey,
we're full. We wish California would do that. Well, people
have been leaving a little bit, but not not enough
(26:37):
to enough, not enough to affect the traffic patterns. But yeah,
that's the big headline there. Japan is offering to pay
families to move out of its overcrowded capital, trying to
revitalize the countryside towns and boost the falling birth rate.
Starting in April, families in metro Tokyo, including those headed
(27:02):
by single parents, will be eligible to receive one million yen,
which sounds like a lot of money, but it's seven
thousand seven dollars US per child if they move to
the less populated areas across the country. That's not enough money.
Well it's a million yen, but that doesn't yet. It
doesn't seem straight. Yeah, unless it's not. I think I
(27:27):
should be paid in yen, I'd be a millionaire, right,
will not be great if if you say, hey, I
got paid in yen, I'm a yen millionaire man, that's great.
Come on. Um, yeah, that's the that's a start. Tokyo
is the most populous city in that country, with thirty
(27:47):
seven million residents. How many people live in New York?
I know in l A there's like twelve millions something
like that. Maybe a little more than that. But that's
like double New York, isn't it posted double weep city?
I think? Yeah, New York has, like I want to say,
nineteen million people crushed into that little space. Wow. I've
(28:13):
never been to Tokyo. I have not. I have no idea,
but I've seen photos of it. I'd like to maybe
get there at some point. And I don't know you
ever been to Tokyo, even been to Asia? You've never been?
That would be a cool trip. I know my brother
and his family go there often because his wife, her
mom lives there. Um, so I hear about it. I
see pictures, but I've never personally got to go. Yeah.
(28:36):
We have a fair amount of listeners on Fox Sports
TRADEO in Japan and in some of the different countries
in Asia. A lot of ex pats military America were
on the American Forces Network, so it's it's broadcast all
over the globe. And it's like I've been told by
these cats that listen a lot that it's like a
(28:56):
little slice of home, like they feel like they're back
at home. Has like home cooking. You know, you're you're
away from your home for a long time, So it's
kind of cool. How about this for embarrassing pop goes
the culture. Cristiano Ronaldo, the legendary soccer player. He sold
his soul. He took the big check from Saudi Arabia
and at his introductory news conference in Saudi Arabia, do
(29:20):
you see this, he called Saudi Arabia South Africa. I
think they cut off one of his toes as it
was time. Yeah, he made the slip up there. He
stepped out, two thousands of fans cheering him on. But
the Portuguese legend h he had the big screw up
(29:43):
there and he didn't do that. Well you know this,
it sounds like he's so desperate to get the money. Ronaldo,
he's like the comedian that you know. That joke is
like you're in Detroit. You know it's so great here
in Cleveland. Yeah, I know. It was the old south
West want to Get Away. Yeah. The lead singer of
(30:03):
that band was like, Chicago, thanks for having us in
there in Detroit. Yeah, for two million dollars a year,
you might want to remember the country you're being. I mean,
I would think I don't know how that all works.
I'm not a soccer guy, but I would assume part
of the reason that this team in Saudi Arabia signed
(30:23):
this legendary player to a two hundred million dollar a
year contract is because they want to brag that this
guy's in their country and is proud to be in
their country, even if he's not. So there is there?
Is that? All right? The next up on pop goes
the culture. An employee arrested and charged with stealing over
(30:45):
three hundred thousand dollars. The authorities say he was inspired
by the movie Office Space funneled just a few cents
from every account, remember Hyeah exactly. This guy Ernie uh
(31:05):
is his name. He's a guy at Seattle arrested by police,
charged with stealing over three hundred thousand dollars in his
scheme that he lifted directly from the movie Wow, but
that and alive? What are you? He? Probably it was
pretty cool for a while, right, I think until he
(31:27):
got caught. Yeah. I mean, if you really want to
be like the movie, then you gotta burn the place
down so that there's no evidence and run off with
Jennifer Aniston. It's only a couple of cents. They won't
even notice. And then somebody has to somebody has to
go meddling, right, and then and messed the whole thing.
I've had the steepler. All right, we'll get out. We
(31:49):
have backscratcher. Actually, let's do backscratcher. Very important part of
the show. So we asked every week, we asked the
electorate in the Mallard Militia, the fans of the Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G dan Any G
Radio Dany soon to be Daddy G Radio Daddy, and
and so we have anyway you know what's going on,
give us a nice review on the podcast page on
the Apple podcast page. And this week, Danny, did we
(32:11):
get one, two or none? Let's shoot for the moon.
I'm gonna say we got to day Na na na Ding.
You are correct that Danny g. You win a chance
to listen to these reviews, isn't that exciting? Ben sucks?
All right? So the first one comes from fur Dog Fries.
(32:35):
I'll get you some of the cheese steak fries, No problem, man,
I'll make those up for you. So the best podcast around,
the best podcast around, fur Dog, he says. Updated review
for the fifth hour is required listening for fans of
the award winning Ben Mallow Show. Ben and the Great
Danny g jam pack each episode with unique content not
(32:58):
found on the radio show, like the l Bag, which
is not just an enlightened segment of Ask Bend like
a Brian Finley update, episodes are about forty minutes long
and also also just like a Brian Finley update, always
leave you wanting more. Thanks for keeping me entertained on
(33:18):
the weekends. Do you both get five stars? Says for Dog,
this guy ferg Dog is ready to deliver. Man. There
was a guy that was trolling me on on Twitter
and fur Dog was asking me to blow the dog whistle.
He was ready to go into attack mode. And I said,
this guy is not a big enough guy. We're not
gonna We're not gonna attack that guy. He's not a
big enough guy. We gotta save the Mallard militia can
(33:41):
only be used. We can't activate those weapons, the social
media weaponry until it's a big enough name, right, you can't.
You can't be fighting a little people. You gotta fight
the big people. You gotta fight above your weight class,
not below your weight class. All right, last one from
Gary in Pittsburgh. Thank you Gary, he says, great mesh Ben,
(34:01):
I've listened since the beginning of the weekend podcast. God
bless you, and I have to say You're rapport with
Danny Gee is so much more fluid and entertaining than
the stick that Mr West of the four oh five
was dealing wild shots at Mr West the four five.
Little karma there. Uh he can't. Uh, it can't be
anymore east of the four oh five than the state
(34:23):
with the mouse ears, That is correct, Uh, he says.
I'm not a big gambler. So I am waiting for
the interviews to ramp back up on the Friday podcast.
But the Saturday show is still top notch, even if
it's about the silly stuff that happened to your day
to day lives. Keep up the great work. Just got
a new iPad, so posting this review was easy peasy,
(34:45):
signed Gary in Pittsburgh. He gave us five stars, five stars.
Danny g and how can people work? Thank you? Gary? Yeah, man,
it's pretty easy to do. You just click onto the
description of this very podcast. In there, you'll see there's
a little button that says write a review. You click
(35:07):
on that make a user name. It's easy and free.
Click on the five stars if you think we're worthy,
and then write your review. Boom done. Yeah you want
to give us seven stars? I mean that's that's pretty well.
It sounded like fur gave you five and gave me five,
so that's actually ten star review right there. I'm not
a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Yeah,
(35:29):
Furg has a lot of time to listen to audio content.
This guy is a bulldog. This guy fur dog man.
He's listening every radio show, every podcast. He listens more
than my wife. This guy is unbelievable. My wife doesn't
actually listen that much at all. But uh, but man,
he's he's he's all about it. I gotta meet that
(35:49):
Furg Dog at some point. He's a big, finly guy too.
But one of the next time we do one of
these meet and greets. We gotta get furg Dog and
his buddy to come out and hang out there. We
gotta shout out all the regulars. Man, the p ones
are the best. And then Ben looking at the numbers
of this podcast. Every weekend, there's new numbers, which means
new listeners. So if you're new, we appreciate you. God
(36:12):
bless you. Yeah, please tell a friend. That's the only
advertising we have. We don't have the Cowhard budget. We
don't have the Dan Patrick budget. We're not giving away
sprinter vans. Uh, we don't have any of that stuff.
But we love doing it. We love doing it, and
I don't think I would have handled that very well,
Danny having a big budget and all that stuff. No,
you know, the only one who advertises you now, Caveno
(36:33):
keeps mentioning that you're his new favorite on the network.
I'm honored. I'm honored. And let me tell you, Danny,
I mean that show blowing up Cavino and Rich and
you guys have your own I saw in the studio
the other that is these footballs in there. Yeah, those
guys are so into their show they put their own
money into a promotional item that was really cool. That
(36:55):
was really neat. I saw that floating around. I might
have to get my hands on one of those things
because those are those are pretty cool. I could hook
you up. I know somebody, you know, a guy, you know. Yeah.
I was looking at as I was like, I've been
here for a long time. I don't think I've ever
seen an item like this, like this is like this
is this is crazy? Is this is really cool? So
trust me, it was weeks and weeks of red tape
(37:17):
that I went through because they had never been done
at the network before. Oh no, no, hand to god,
I've been there since the beginning of the network and
nobody ever had any item like that. So already, Cavino
and Rich they're moving mountains at Fox Sports Radio, going
to areas that no one else, not even Rich Herrera
or Bob Golic or Genie's Alaska or Kevin Fraser, has
(37:38):
been able to do. It took me about twenty five emails.
I mean it was it was a couple of months
of continual work on it. So when those boxes arrived
over the holiday, it was amazing. I couldn't believe the
delivery came. Mana from heaven, all right, we'll get out
(37:59):
on that any to promote Danny other than those great
footballs that Cavino and Rich have, anything at all, anything
at all. It is Saturday, so I'm actually gonna be
going in to have some fun with Jonas Knox, who
the hell was that? And then after that it'll be
the one and only Loose Cannon himself, Steve Hartman along
with I from Salam So it'll be a fun afternoon
(38:20):
on Fox Sports radios. Danny, enjoy that. I will be
sitting on my ass watching you know, the Chiefs and
your Raiders and then Jacksonville and Tennessee today, hoping that
my bets are winning, and I will likely be baking
some kind of nonsense in the kitchen which will tell
you about next week on the show. Does and have
a great rest of your day today and we will
(38:43):
catch you back in the saddle with the mail bag
on Sunday. Let's go stid Hum, come on, man, go
Raiders later, Skater, yeah you said it.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Welcome into
the podcast, O Joe, It is another edition of the
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G. Radio. Oh
here we are. I like the extended winner, unbel kicking
(00:48):
the tires in the audio box, walking a tight rope.
Danny G. Yet again all the other shows keep saying,
this is the first time we're broadcasting in not us, man,
We've already been on the air. That's right, we're your
seasoned veterans, season veterans in the podcast game. I did notice,
though you can't see this if you're watching the podcast unfortunately,
(01:11):
Danny G. Not wearing a Raider hat, not wearing a
Laker hat? Is that a Is that a hat from
the I believe it is from the Hawaiian Islands? Is
that a ye? It's a Kawaii hat, al right, I
love that. That's a great that's a great hat. So
looking at it now that there's a Raider's shirt though,
so I understand. But I'm looking for you your hat
(01:33):
there and that did you feel guilty buying that hat?
Like you? I've known you for many years. I don't
think I've seen you in anything other than Raider, Laker,
or Dodger hats. No. I have a few non sports hats,
mostly snapbacks, and this happens to be one of them.
Got this on the honeymoon. That's a good looking hat. Yeah,
(01:53):
did did? Did you get that as a souvenir or
because you needed a hat and it was like sunny
or something like that. It was actually the one day
in Kawai where it was pouring down rain. Every other
day there on the islands was sunny, eighty perfect. There
was one day, though, where it was like a monsoon,
the puddles up to the top of our socks. Right
(02:16):
across from where we were eating, there was a little
surf shop and that's where I got this hat. Interesting.
One of the two worst weather events I've ever been
in was in Kawaii. We we were shopping at of course,
we were like, there was like a kmart, which I
don't even think is there anymore. We were in the
kmart and there was this big We didn't look at
(02:38):
the forecast when we were there. We're like, it was
in Hawaii. It's gonna be seventy seventy nine degrees eighty
five degrees every day. And so we're in the store
and like the power starts flickering and there's this massive
monsoon of a rainstorm. It was like the worst rain.
It was a tropical depression that came through Kawaii and
we didn't know about it. So when the store, the
(02:58):
lights go out and we we had to get out
of there. It was still raining. So I went out,
I got the rental car, and I pulled the rental
car up on the sidewalk. So my my now wife
at that time I just got married, Um, she could
get in the car without having to walk. I was
completely drenched by the time I got to my car.
(03:20):
It was horrible and I felt like I had taken
a bath or I gone swimming in an Olympic sized pool.
It's unreal the rain because there's nothing to stop it,
Like it's obviously you're in an island. Yeah, what are
the locals told us? He said, when it comes down here,
it really comes down quick man. The tourists they were
running screaming. It was fun to watch. It was the
(03:43):
best people watching of the entire trip. It's like the
cocka roaches when you turn the lights on, they're running around,
scurring around the floor. On this podcast, we've got Ballroom Benny,
developmental writer, Good Eats, Pop goes, the culture and back scratches.
So a lot to get to, but let's start with
this now. Yala, New Year's Eve three. You're here, so
(04:07):
you had a good New Year's Eve. I assumed you're
you're alive, So that's good. You're listening, um. And if
you follow me on social media, I don't post personal
photos on Twitter because that's a cesspool. But on Facebook
and Instagram all usually, you know, a couple of times
a month, I'll post what's going on in my life.
For some reason, people seem to like that, Danny. I
(04:27):
don't know why. It's very odd to me, but people
seem to enjoy that. And so if you do follow
me on social media on Facebook or Instagram, you probably
saw some photos that I posted last week, but now
you're about to hear the rest all of the story, right,
rest of the stories we are firing and all sylinaters here.
So I visited with the wife there. We went on
(04:48):
in a very romantic day to the iconic Cicada Club
in downtown l A. I've been there before, I've talked
about it on the podcast. I think we've been there
one other time. But this is just the jacent to
skid Row, which is pretty much all of downtown Los
Angeles at this point. It's it's in this really cool
(05:08):
Art deco building to kind of paint the picture for you.
And there are some beautiful buildings when downtown l A
was getting built in the middle of the madness down there,
which is now just terrible. But but anyway, this is
like a really cool old building. And my wife loves
this place, very elegant, you know, she's into that kind
(05:29):
of thing. Get get all dolled up and all that.
I've actually I'm I'm maturing Danny because I actually don't
hate going there. I actually kind of appreciate it. It's
kind of cool. I must be getting old, I must
be getting bored and old because I younger me younger
Benny would have been like, you know, screw that, I
don't want to go on to go to a place
like that boring, But I actually enjoyed it. There's a
(05:52):
lot of history and an ambiance, and it's this this
old dance hall that dates back almost a hundred years.
It is since we're in three. It dates back to
the ninth the Roaring nineteen twenties. It was originally built
as a haberdashery in nineteen twenty, so it's a ninety
five year old building. I realize if you're in Boston
(06:15):
or New York or Philadelphia, there's there's buildings that are
way older than that. But in l A there's not
a lot that's that old because there's these things called
earthquakes and buildings down and bulldozers and real estate greed
exactly exactly, So this place is on the National Registry
of Historic Places, so it's not going anywhere. It was
(06:35):
built by French designers and artisans of the day, and
they even have a dress code. Danny, I have very
rarely go to a place with a dress code. You
gotta wear vintage business or evening attire. Gentlemen they say
code and tie no jeans, no zip jackets, no shorts,
no T shirts, sneakers or flip flops, which is pretty
(06:56):
much my entire wardrobe cent at a time. Psalms, screwed ladies.
You gotta wear cocktail dress, skirt or paint suit with
matching jacket. No sneakers or flip flops, ant suit. That's
not a good look, is it. Oh, it's like Mary
Tyler Moore. Yeah, you don't want that. So this place
(07:17):
the history on it in the early days of l
a back in the nineteen late nineteen twenties, early nineteen
thirties when Hollywood was really taken off and they were
going from silent films to spoken word films and all
that Hollywood legends of the people like Clark Gable, John
Barrymore and other big stars of that era. We're hanging
(07:38):
out at this location. So it's kind of cool thing
about the old legends of Hollywood back when Hollywood was
really like the think about all the drugs, alcohol abuse,
womanizing that has gone on there years and years. And
also when I saw the pictures you posted, the first
(07:59):
thing that I thought of It looks like a place
that Louis Armstrong would have been playing live music at
Oh yeah, for sure. You know, Danny, if you wanna,
you wanna meet up there, we could do like a
double date. I know your your wife's got a bun
in the oven there, but she's I don't know if
you would. You think she'd be into that kind of thing.
I don't know. I'm not sure. If they have food there,
(08:20):
then she's in because all she's been doing lately is eating.
Oh yeah, you can't hit the bar there. They have
a big bar, very expensive stadium like prices on the
alcohol at this place. They do a restaurant. The menu
is not really my jam. You can either buy the dinner,
which costs more, or then you just kind of hang
out there and drink alcohol. What about the ticket to
(08:42):
get in because they say that holiday is a sucker's
night because of all the entry fees to get into
these places. Yeah. So the way that works, Danny, in
my marriage, and I don't know about your marriage you're
newly married, is I get very upset when I find
out how much ship like that cost. So it's pretty much. Uh,
it's like the old military slogan, don't ask, don't tell,
(09:03):
I don't ask how much it costs my wife does
not tell it worked for the United States Military for
a long time. It works for our marriage a long time.
Because if I knew how much was being spent, Uh,
I had probably have Uh I have a coronary, is
what I have? You know? All right? She got the tickets. Yeah,
she made sure to buy the things. But the other thing,
(09:24):
when I was in there and I was thinking about
like old Hollywood, I was like, you know, my favorite
old Hollywood person And I don't even know if he
was a good actor or a comedian, this guy W. C. Fields.
And I wonder because he was a big star in
the nineteen forties. I wonder if he hung out at
that that club, the Cassada, uh, the Cicada Club. And
he has my favorite quote of all time, which is
(09:46):
if he can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
It's from the all time great quotes. And Uh. Anyway,
I was, I was ballroom and I did some dancing.
People were like, well, how do you did? Do you
know what? How I dance? You got two left fee?
And I admit, Danny, I suck at dancing. You you
probably have the moves out there, you know how to dance.
You're more of a dance. I don't know how to dance.
I don't know what the funk I'm doing, but I figured,
(10:09):
you know, happy wife, happy life. My wife likes to dance,
and so I make an effort, and I pretty much
fake it till I make it. My strategy. When I'm
on the dance floor, Danny, and it's like ballroom dancing,
so I'm kind of like just looking at what the
other dudes are doing, and I'm like, okay, I can
kind of mimic that, you know, step to the right,
step to the left, you know, back and forth, you know,
spend the girl around. I can figure that out. That's
(10:30):
not that hard. It's like the movie, Oh, what's the
name of the movie where he's got the one move
on the dance floor. He's trying to get the hot
blood and he's like shaking the fake dice and his
friends are like looking at him. They're like, he's got
one move, but he's really working that one move. That's
all you really need, man. As long as you're out
(10:51):
there having fun, that's all that matters. I've been on
dates where the girls were like crazy into dancing and
they were a little harder to keep up with, even
though I can dance. But at the end it was
a big smile on their face. The old saying is
if you won't take the girl out to dance, some
other guy will. Yeah, no, no, for sure, and it
(11:13):
was you know, it's cool, and heck, man, I'm a guy.
I didn't even go to my proms, so I haven't
done a lot of dancing in the in my days here.
But it was cool. I'm sure we'll be there again.
My wife always wants people to join us. She's like, yes,
invite your friends, and my friends are busy they can't come.
But uh so, if you want to do a double date, Danny,
we'll have to make that happen at some point. I
(11:34):
know that might be way down the line because there
is a developmental raider who, I believe, if my math
is correct, will be on the board available for the
Raiders to draft. Let me do the math on this.
In the year, Oh my god, oh my, twenty forty five.
(11:56):
Oh man, oh man, dandy, we still be podcasting. I
don't even know we'll be alive, but man, better be alive.
I know I plan on being alive, but investilated plans
of mice men and podcasters. But yeah, I congratulations, and
Danny and you found the big news. Tell us how
(12:19):
it all went down. Give me the inside skinny, the
behind the scenes. Yeah. So if we uh go swing
dancing at that old club with you, it's gonna have
to be a few months after August. August ten is
the exact do date. You know that hardly ever hits.
But yeah, my chick, she uh, speaking of spending money,
(12:40):
she sent ninety dollars to the Amazon folks and got
one of those DNA kits. You know, it used to
be that you'd have to wait enough weeks into it
where the doctor could finally do the ultrasound and you
could see some balls, and that's how they knew. Now
they have these very advanced DNA tests that you just
(13:03):
mail back and they email you with the announcement. So
my girl got the email just a couple of days ago.
She shows me her phone and it's blue balloons on
the screen and it says it's a boy. Oh wow,
that's great, that's awesome, awesome to see. And then, of course,
(13:24):
you know, the modern generation, they like the gender reveal parties,
they like the the gender reveal guns, that shoot the
blue or the pink confetti, and so that was another
Amazon purchase. Wifey got those pop guns for her kids
and just two days ago they popped open the reveal
(13:46):
blue and gold confetti that came out of there. The
boys were celebrating. Her daughter was like, well, but there's
gold in here too. She's holding out for maybe the
mistake from Amazon. Yeah, just clinging on to hope that
it could be a girl, because she was the one
that wanted a little sister. But she was still smiling though.
(14:08):
Everybody seems really happy that it's gonna be a boy.
And what can I say, ben some powerful sperm. First
it happens on the honeymoon. Second it's a boy and
boom goes to dynamite. There you go, Danny G. Man,
you get that macheese moment, man, Danny g clearly look
at that. Well, congratulations, I'm happy for it. And you've
(14:30):
got built in babysitters. Do the kids know that they'll
be the babysitters when you guys want to go out
in a few years and all that right? They know? Okay,
are thinking a demand and bounty, a ransom of King's
ransom to watch future Danny G. Danny G Radio two
point oh, the next future broadcaster. We'll do what my
mom did when I was a kid babysitting for her.
(14:53):
She would bring me back a bag of gummy worms
from Costco and say, here, you're filthy animal. This is
for babysitting for five hours. Did I ever tell you
the story? Me and my my older brother, we were
deputized the last time we ever watched my younger brother.
My parents went out to a nice meal and uh
we were we were doing wrestling moves on the sofa, me,
(15:14):
my brother, my older brother, my younger brother, and uh,
my younger brother ended up breaking his arm jumping off
the top of the top of the sofa, and my
mom all, my god, she had so much guilt as
a Jewish mother. She's like, I can't believe kids for
(15:35):
one night and that never again, never again. We totally
ruined that the rest of my mom's life and no,
no more babysitting. But it was quite the quite a
very memorable experience. I have a quick baby sitting tale.
I loved babysitting my little sisters. They were pretty easy
to deal with, my little brothers from my stepdad. They
(15:58):
were some little assholes. There's Matthew who wound up in
juvenile hall. Okay, so that, yeah, that's a whole another story.
But he was always the one out in the backyard
getting into trouble. His younger brother, Aaron was fighting with
him and I heard them arguing in the backyard. That
was a usual thing. I'm like whatever, So I'm kind
(16:19):
of popping my head back there once in a while
to make sure they're not killing each other. But I
hear a a pop but air pop, and then I
hear a kid screaming. I run to the backyard. There's
Matthew a baby gun rifle in his arm, and there's
Aaron on the other side of the backyard, blubbering, just weeping.
(16:43):
Matthew shot Aaron with a baby gun. What Ben, He
came within inches of his left eye. Oh that isn't funny.
Why would you do that? What could of dumbass? Yeah,
m So my mom gets home and I have to
exploit ain this baby gun and how he almost lost
his eyeball. Oh my god. Fun times. Yeah, the horrors
(17:08):
of babysitting. Cheez Louise. I hope my son grows up
to have none of their d n A. Oh this
is and you gotta make sure. My advice here, you know,
fatherly advice is I think you know this. You gotta
get the kid, especially in these days, you gotta get
the kid. If you wanted to watch the games with you,
(17:28):
you gotta get him hooked early, right, otherwise he will
he will migrate to the video games. Great to the
tell other things. But if you can get them hooked
early on, you're good. Right, that's the the first few years.
Like I've had some experience. I won't get into it here,
but did not do the oldo the hookaroo, and you
pay the price down the line. I kind of feel
(17:50):
like my son is gonna come out in a raider onesie.
You think is when I will be silver and the
other black. Like I was joking, I told my tender Ronnie.
I said, Oh, don't worry, he's gonna come out with
an eye patch already on his eye. He'll be coming
out with like a gold chain like Al Davis back
in a jumpsuit, you know, white jumps a little Cligaruh.
(18:16):
That's great. See, now you gotta come up with a
name though, right, that's a whole another ball of wax
act a very important thing. The name. We talked about that,
so you gotta gotta play around with that, and who
decides it? Do you decided the wife do it? Did
you flip a coin? That's a tough one. It's crazy
that you bring that up, because it's like naming rights
to a stadium. All right. I was told weeks and
(18:38):
weeks ago that I got to decide the name, and
I was like, man, that is really cool of my
chick to tell me I have that honor. Like nobody's
gonna fight me on it. That's for me to decide.
But then we do this stupid gender reveal guns and
after they clean up all the confetti mess, they're talking
(18:58):
about names for a boy because now obviously they know
it's a boy. Let's find a boy's name. And suddenly
I'm on the outside looking in and all these other
people are trying to make my executive decision for me.
They're trying to that's trying to encourage you or what's
trying to sway the vote? Ya the judge. Yeah. Instantly,
(19:21):
my girl comes upstairs and says, oh, we were all
talking downstairs and we like the name blank, We like
this name. Look, I have a list of names now
in my phone. Wait a second, what happened to this
being my decision and say, oh no, well I have
to agree with it, hey told Stall. Now you see
(19:42):
you've got multi multiple variables on this because you've got
first name, second name, you a middle name. But then
some people put two middle names in there, right, so
you could do the two. That's kind of confusing the
two minds. Yeah, some people do too. Last names. Now,
that's just too many names, a lot of names. Yeah.
And the other thing too about the name game is
(20:02):
you've got you gotta worry about the initials because kids
are assholes. As you know, you work at a school too,
and these kids if you come up with like my
my middle name starts with an S so bs and uh,
and then my last name starts with him so b M,
which is a code for bowel movement. So as you
can imagine the assholes on the playground, like the like
(20:23):
the Google, So you gotta you gotta look out for
that as well. You got like you gonna have a
good first name and a lot and kind of have
it rhyme with the last name, especially you know, boys
not gonna who knows, but these days but I likely
not going to change their name when they get older, right,
so that their last name is going to stay the same.
You have to have a perspective of the bully. So
(20:43):
when you look at a potential name, you try to
rhyme everything bad that you can with it, Like are
there any curse words? Does it sound like any slur?
But all those negroes look the same. Producer's note, He said,
necros is in the pictures that were brothers, So don't
get your shorts in a bunch. Yeah all right, Well, well,
(21:07):
I'm sure we'll get more updates on the fifth Hour
podcast as the Life. I can't wait for birth. Follow
you to get here at point Dexter, my new son,
point Dexter. How about off? All right, So one of
my michigas is, as my grandfather would say back in
his day, is in the kitchen. I've been dabbling in that.
Uh if only my mom was around, she'd be very impressed.
(21:29):
She's not around, unfortunately. But the culinary arts. So we
talked about this on the podcast. Fajita's Cheese Steak Burgers,
The Grittle Life, Making making cookies, Baking, Benny the Baker,
The Chocolate Tiers, so good times. This past weekend, I
got a bug under my rug, under my skin. Uh
this past weekend actually after we went dancing to the
(21:50):
Cicada Club. I don't usually eat late at night. I
only eat one meal a day. I usually fast a
couple of days a week. But I decided, you know,
it's New Year's Eve, it's a celebrate, and so a
little late night food run to the mecca fat Cells
in the hood in actually in the wood in Hollywood.
So we went to that location over there in Highland
(22:12):
in in Hollywood, just down from the is it not?
Is it l A Live? No, it's not l A Live.
What's the Hollywood and Highland? I think is the okay?
Just down the street from there. Anyway, if you're not
in l A, you have no idea what I'm saying.
But uh, I got my normal fat cells. I want
I want to Texas fat Texas Barbecue. Oh yeah, classic.
(22:33):
I like, I was going big. I was like, let
me go back to my old eating days. And I
ate those cheese steak frost delicious, delicious. And then while
I'm eating it, and I didn't tell my wife this,
but I got in my head, I'm like you know what,
I think I could make some of this ship at
the house. I can recreate fat cells. But I'm looking
at the Fat Texas Barbecue, like, there's there's mozzarella sticks,
there's chicken fingers, all kinds of ship, and I'm like,
(22:56):
I don't think I can do that. That's too complicated.
I'd have to cook up like seven different things and
put it all together. I don't think I can pull
that off. But then I looked at the cheese steak fries.
I said, you know what, that motherfucker, I can make
those cheese steak fries. I can make those. And so
I did. I over the weekend I did. I decided
to make a rip off version. I took a couple
(23:18):
of photos of what they look like at Fat Sous,
took a photo of the menu. You'll be hearing from
their attorneys the ingredients and uh and yeah, I recreated
them and Chef's kiss Danny. It came out great. I
cooked up the rib, I the grilled onions, I made
all that, put that on the side, uh. And then
(23:38):
I cooked up the fries. And then I put the
fries down, put the steak and the onions on top,
and then I put like a pounded cheese and then
I put in the oven for like fifteen minutes and
it was great. It was wondering. Now, not everything was
a success, Danny, because I also made poutine, and I
(23:59):
love poutine, but it didn't taste as good. I think
it's because I had too much to drink and probably
ate too much prior to the poutine. You gotta you
gotta paste yourself with this kind of stuff. Dan, So
not a big poutine fan. Not I like puttine. Well,
there's different kinds of poutine um and and I do
like it. It's not something I eat all that much,
(24:20):
but I I do like the poutine, the cheese steak fries.
If you like cheese steak, you like cheese steak first,
you might have to come over sometime, Danny'll take a
seven days to get here, but I'll make some some
pop not cheese steak friends, I'll make those for you.
So anyway, that was my my adventure the good eats
over the weekend. So pretty Have you ever been to Canada? Yes,
(24:41):
for like a couple of hours, but it wasn't really Canada.
It was Niagara Falls, the Canadian side. Have you have you?
But No, I've never been, and somebody told me, well,
you would like poutine if you had it there in Canada. No,
poutine is really yeah, I mean it's it's pretty good.
So it's just cheese curd fries and then gravy. That's
(25:01):
traditional Canadian poutine. But they have like fast food restaurants
in Canada that have all kinds of flavors of of poutine.
There's a place in Anaheim that I've gone to a
few times. It has like fried chicken poutine with like
white gravy fried chicken pieces on top. That's really good.
Yeah that sounds good. That's solid. That'll that'll fill you
(25:22):
up pretty good. Um yeah, but I have the putine,
the cheese kurds. It's also an homage to my my
brother who lives in Wisconsin, because there's much of the cheese,
the Wisconsin cheese and all. Anyway, now that you got
us all hungry. Pop goes the culture poo poo, p
(25:55):
thanks Ohio. So there a few of these pop goes
the culture stories. So this one, how about this out
of Tokyo Danny Tokyo is So these are actual pop
culture stories that we've found randomly throughout the week, and
we're saving them for this podcast. So the story out
of Tokyo that is so crowded. How crowded is it
in Tokyo? I'm glad you asked. It is so crowded
(26:17):
in Tokyo that the government is paying families to leave Tokyo. Damn,
how nuts? So is that? I mean crazy? It's like, hey,
we're full. We wish California would do that. Well, people
have been leaving a little bit, but not not enough
(26:37):
to enough, not enough to affect the traffic patterns. But yeah,
that's the big headline there. Japan is offering to pay
families to move out of its overcrowded capital, trying to
revitalize the countryside towns and boost the falling birth rate.
Starting in April, families in metro Tokyo, including those headed
(27:02):
by single parents, will be eligible to receive one million yen,
which sounds like a lot of money, but it's seven
thousand seven dollars US per child if they move to
the less populated areas across the country. That's not enough money.
Well it's a million yen, but that doesn't yet. It
doesn't seem straight. Yeah, unless it's not. I think I
(27:27):
should be paid in yen, I'd be a millionaire, right,
will not be great if if you say, hey, I
got paid in yen, I'm a yen millionaire man, that's great.
Come on. Um, yeah, that's the that's a start. Tokyo
is the most populous city in that country, with thirty
(27:47):
seven million residents. How many people live in New York?
I know in l A there's like twelve millions something
like that. Maybe a little more than that. But that's
like double New York, isn't it posted double weep city?
I think? Yeah, New York has, like I want to say,
nineteen million people crushed into that little space. Wow. I've
(28:13):
never been to Tokyo. I have not. I have no idea,
but I've seen photos of it. I'd like to maybe
get there at some point. And I don't know you
ever been to Tokyo, even been to Asia? You've never been?
That would be a cool trip. I know my brother
and his family go there often because his wife, her
mom lives there. Um, so I hear about it. I
see pictures, but I've never personally got to go. Yeah.
(28:36):
We have a fair amount of listeners on Fox Sports
TRADEO in Japan and in some of the different countries
in Asia. A lot of ex pats military America were
on the American Forces Network, so it's it's broadcast all
over the globe. And it's like I've been told by
these cats that listen a lot that it's like a
(28:56):
little slice of home, like they feel like they're back
at home. Has like home cooking. You know, you're you're
away from your home for a long time, So it's
kind of cool. How about this for embarrassing pop goes
the culture. Cristiano Ronaldo, the legendary soccer player. He sold
his soul. He took the big check from Saudi Arabia
and at his introductory news conference in Saudi Arabia, do
(29:20):
you see this, he called Saudi Arabia South Africa. I
think they cut off one of his toes as it
was time. Yeah, he made the slip up there. He
stepped out, two thousands of fans cheering him on. But
the Portuguese legend h he had the big screw up
(29:43):
there and he didn't do that. Well you know this,
it sounds like he's so desperate to get the money. Ronaldo,
he's like the comedian that you know. That joke is
like you're in Detroit. You know it's so great here
in Cleveland. Yeah, I know. It was the old south
West want to Get Away. Yeah. The lead singer of
(30:03):
that band was like, Chicago, thanks for having us in
there in Detroit. Yeah, for two million dollars a year,
you might want to remember the country you're being. I mean,
I would think I don't know how that all works.
I'm not a soccer guy, but I would assume part
of the reason that this team in Saudi Arabia signed
(30:23):
this legendary player to a two hundred million dollar a
year contract is because they want to brag that this
guy's in their country and is proud to be in
their country, even if he's not. So there is there?
Is that? All right? The next up on pop goes
the culture. An employee arrested and charged with stealing over
(30:45):
three hundred thousand dollars. The authorities say he was inspired
by the movie Office Space funneled just a few cents
from every account, remember Hyeah exactly. This guy Ernie uh
(31:05):
is his name. He's a guy at Seattle arrested by police,
charged with stealing over three hundred thousand dollars in his
scheme that he lifted directly from the movie Wow, but
that and alive? What are you? He? Probably it was
pretty cool for a while, right, I think until he
(31:27):
got caught. Yeah. I mean, if you really want to
be like the movie, then you gotta burn the place
down so that there's no evidence and run off with
Jennifer Aniston. It's only a couple of cents. They won't
even notice. And then somebody has to somebody has to
go meddling, right, and then and messed the whole thing.
I've had the steepler. All right, we'll get out. We
(31:49):
have backscratcher. Actually, let's do backscratcher. Very important part of
the show. So we asked every week, we asked the
electorate in the Mallard Militia, the fans of the Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G dan Any G
Radio Dany soon to be Daddy G Radio Daddy, and
and so we have anyway you know what's going on,
give us a nice review on the podcast page on
the Apple podcast page. And this week, Danny, did we
(32:11):
get one, two or none? Let's shoot for the moon.
I'm gonna say we got to day Na na na Ding.
You are correct that Danny g. You win a chance
to listen to these reviews, isn't that exciting? Ben sucks?
All right? So the first one comes from fur Dog Fries.
(32:35):
I'll get you some of the cheese steak fries, No problem, man,
I'll make those up for you. So the best podcast around,
the best podcast around, fur Dog, he says. Updated review
for the fifth hour is required listening for fans of
the award winning Ben Mallow Show. Ben and the Great
Danny g jam pack each episode with unique content not
(32:58):
found on the radio show, like the l Bag, which
is not just an enlightened segment of Ask Bend like
a Brian Finley update, episodes are about forty minutes long
and also also just like a Brian Finley update, always
leave you wanting more. Thanks for keeping me entertained on
(33:18):
the weekends. Do you both get five stars? Says for Dog,
this guy ferg Dog is ready to deliver. Man. There
was a guy that was trolling me on on Twitter
and fur Dog was asking me to blow the dog whistle.
He was ready to go into attack mode. And I said,
this guy is not a big enough guy. We're not
gonna We're not gonna attack that guy. He's not a
big enough guy. We gotta save the Mallard militia can
(33:41):
only be used. We can't activate those weapons, the social
media weaponry until it's a big enough name, right, you can't.
You can't be fighting a little people. You gotta fight
the big people. You gotta fight above your weight class,
not below your weight class. All right, last one from
Gary in Pittsburgh. Thank you Gary, he says, great mesh Ben,
(34:01):
I've listened since the beginning of the weekend podcast. God
bless you, and I have to say You're rapport with
Danny Gee is so much more fluid and entertaining than
the stick that Mr West of the four oh five
was dealing wild shots at Mr West the four five.
Little karma there. Uh he can't. Uh, it can't be
anymore east of the four oh five than the state
(34:23):
with the mouse ears, That is correct, Uh, he says.
I'm not a big gambler. So I am waiting for
the interviews to ramp back up on the Friday podcast.
But the Saturday show is still top notch, even if
it's about the silly stuff that happened to your day
to day lives. Keep up the great work. Just got
a new iPad, so posting this review was easy peasy,
(34:45):
signed Gary in Pittsburgh. He gave us five stars, five stars.
Danny g and how can people work? Thank you? Gary? Yeah, man,
it's pretty easy to do. You just click onto the
description of this very podcast. In there, you'll see there's
a little button that says write a review. You click
(35:07):
on that make a user name. It's easy and free.
Click on the five stars if you think we're worthy,
and then write your review. Boom done. Yeah you want
to give us seven stars? I mean that's that's pretty well.
It sounded like fur gave you five and gave me five,
so that's actually ten star review right there. I'm not
a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Yeah,
(35:29):
Furg has a lot of time to listen to audio content.
This guy is a bulldog. This guy fur dog man.
He's listening every radio show, every podcast. He listens more
than my wife. This guy is unbelievable. My wife doesn't
actually listen that much at all. But uh, but man,
he's he's he's all about it. I gotta meet that
(35:49):
Furg Dog at some point. He's a big, finly guy too.
But one of the next time we do one of
these meet and greets. We gotta get furg Dog and
his buddy to come out and hang out there. We
gotta shout out all the regulars. Man, the p ones
are the best. And then Ben looking at the numbers
of this podcast. Every weekend, there's new numbers, which means
new listeners. So if you're new, we appreciate you. God
(36:12):
bless you. Yeah, please tell a friend. That's the only
advertising we have. We don't have the Cowhard budget. We
don't have the Dan Patrick budget. We're not giving away
sprinter vans. Uh, we don't have any of that stuff.
But we love doing it. We love doing it, and
I don't think I would have handled that very well,
Danny having a big budget and all that stuff. No,
you know, the only one who advertises you now, Caveno
(36:33):
keeps mentioning that you're his new favorite on the network.
I'm honored. I'm honored. And let me tell you, Danny,
I mean that show blowing up Cavino and Rich and
you guys have your own I saw in the studio
the other that is these footballs in there. Yeah, those
guys are so into their show they put their own
money into a promotional item that was really cool. That
(36:55):
was really neat. I saw that floating around. I might
have to get my hands on one of those things
because those are those are pretty cool. I could hook
you up. I know somebody, you know, a guy, you know. Yeah.
I was looking at as I was like, I've been
here for a long time. I don't think I've ever
seen an item like this, like this is like this
is this is crazy? Is this is really cool? So
trust me, it was weeks and weeks of red tape
(37:17):
that I went through because they had never been done
at the network before. Oh no, no, hand to god,
I've been there since the beginning of the network and
nobody ever had any item like that. So already, Cavino
and Rich they're moving mountains at Fox Sports Radio, going
to areas that no one else, not even Rich Herrera
or Bob Golic or Genie's Alaska or Kevin Fraser, has
(37:38):
been able to do. It took me about twenty five emails.
I mean it was it was a couple of months
of continual work on it. So when those boxes arrived
over the holiday, it was amazing. I couldn't believe the
delivery came. Mana from heaven, all right, we'll get out
(37:59):
on that any to promote Danny other than those great
footballs that Cavino and Rich have, anything at all, anything
at all. It is Saturday, so I'm actually gonna be
going in to have some fun with Jonas Knox, who
the hell was that? And then after that it'll be
the one and only Loose Cannon himself, Steve Hartman along
with I from Salam So it'll be a fun afternoon
(38:20):
on Fox Sports radios. Danny, enjoy that. I will be
sitting on my ass watching you know, the Chiefs and
your Raiders and then Jacksonville and Tennessee today, hoping that
my bets are winning, and I will likely be baking
some kind of nonsense in the kitchen which will tell
you about next week on the show. Does and have
a great rest of your day today and we will
(38:43):
catch you back in the saddle with the mail bag
on Sunday. Let's go stid Hum, come on, man, go
Raiders later, Skater, yeah you said it.
Host
Ben Maller
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