February 4, 2023 • 39 mins
Ben Maller & his 5th Hour homie Danny G. have fun on your fake-Pro Bowl Saturday! They're talking: Line Cook, Bring Your Breast, the Frugal Baker, Pop Goes the Culture & Back Scratcher!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
into another podcast, a sparkling new podcast, The Fifth Hour
with Ben Mallard and Danny g Radio. In the podcast,
ojo every single day, no days off. I'm on drugs
(00:47):
right now, man and Danny. I want to start by
saying thanks to Angelo who was on yesterday's podcast, Angelo Cataldi,
who I love talking to these radio guys. I might
be the only one, Danny, that enjoys this. I don't
know if anyone else likes this stuff. I am such
a radio loser. But Angelo has been doing this for
thirty something years in Philadelphia, and some of those stories
(01:09):
he told if you didn't hear the Friday podcast, he
told the story about going to the NFL draft with
a bunch of listeners and a party bus and they
picked up a homeless guy because they were a listener short,
so they just picked up a guy off the streets
of Philadelphia and took him to the NFL Draft and
UH and his band for Life from the NFL Draft,
(01:31):
which is, oh my gosh, outstanding on many levels, Danny,
but I just love the stories, and he's retiring from radio,
and I thought this would be the perfect time to
get Angelo on because the NFL is wrapping up next
weekend with the Eagles in the super Bowl, and he's
had the Eagles coach on his show. The Eagles coach
called him out by name during these playoffs, Danny Nick Sirianni,
(01:55):
the Eagles coach, was so upset with Angelo's criticism he
named him, which I thought was amusing. So it was
some good stories there, Yeah, outstanding, really good. Make sure
you download that from yesterday, yeah and today on the
Saturday podcast. This is the calm before the storm, as
we have a big travel plans for Danny g I
(02:18):
know he'll be in Arizona all week for the Super
Bowl and uh I might make a cameo appearance day.
I do not know yet. As of right now, I
do not know whether or not there will be a
cameo appearance by me. But I do have family in Phoenix,
so I might my crew cruise over. Maybe I'll fly
in for the day. I annoyed, so we'll find Yeah,
(02:38):
I'm hearing rumblings that the fifth hour might be broadcasting
live from Radio Row. That would be awesome. We've never
done alive a live podcast, so that'll that'd be really cool.
We'll see see many people listen live and then they
can go back and listen to it later. Be awesome.
All right. Anyway, on this Saturday podcast, We've got the
(03:00):
Lion Cook, Bring your Breast, the Frugal Baker, and some
other things that may or may not pop up. We've
got Pop Goes, the Culture Scientifical Backscratchers. So there's a
lot of content. We'll dive right into it, and I'll
begin with this. We had a big family get together
(03:20):
at the Mallard mansion last weekend and I was deputized.
I was I was deputized as the man in charge
of the cooking. So my father in law, my uh
my my stepmother in law, my my sister in law,
my brother in law, her kids, everyone's hanging out. We're
(03:43):
having a grand old time at the Mallard mansion, but
I spent pretty much the entire day driving around picking
up groceries because I'm now in my my spare time, Danny,
I'm I'm a line cook, and so we were making
cheese steak sandwich. Is the Mallard cheese steaks and which
for no apparent reason, but I there's there's only a
few things I know how to make them. The griddle,
(04:04):
so I was. I got all the proper meat, the cheese,
the everything, bread and uh and just like Tony Bruno
taught me an authentic South Philadelphia guy, Tony Bruno, So
I got all these all these different items, the the
bell pepper, the onions, everything. So I'm preparing the meal
and pretty much the entire time my my in laws
(04:26):
were over, I was making cheese stack. I don't make
it fast enough, though, Nanny. This is a criticism that
my wife has that she I can make them like
two at a time, but she wants me to make
them all at the same time. But to make say,
I have high standards, so I feel like if I
make them all at the same time, most of them
(04:47):
will be pretty good, but one or two of them
is gonna be like crap, and I don't want to
do that, you know, so I make them two at
a time, which is not not ideal, but I pulled
it off and was pretty pretty exhausted by the end
of that. You know, they were less than less than
a dozen. But I'm usually just cooking for a couple
of people, so you know, you add on more and
(05:08):
the trying to get everything perfect. You know, you want
to poison your your family. You're trying to not have
to poison your family and all that stuff. So um
so it was a full day of activity and then uh,
you know, you know, after that, we we we turned
into to Benny the Baker and all that, and we'll
get into that in a minute. But the the bring
(05:30):
your breast is that? Is that X rated? What is
that all about? Do you mean bring your best or
bring your breast? I don't know either one. I have
no Well it's funny because a couple of weeks ago,
Covino actually said on the air, and you're in a
relationship or whatever, you want to be happy in that
(05:52):
relationship and you want your partner to be happy too.
So I'm just saying, trying to bring your breast, your
bro I mean they mean, yours are looking great. Thank you.
Oh my god, I got moves. Bring your breast and
your best to the situation at all. I think he
(06:12):
meant bring your best in this case though this story,
it is breast or breasts at the end. Yes, last Saturday,
decided to go ahead and take the tinder Oni out
for a date. So I said, let's go to Barnes
and Nobles, walk around. We could hit up the coffee
(06:33):
shop get dessert there, and she's like, yeah, that's a
good idea. So we parked at the shopping center nearby,
which had the movie theater there and the Barnes and
Nobles right next door. So we walk into the movie
theater just to kind of double check their screen. They
have inside the touch screen where you can look at showtimes.
(06:53):
So we're waiting our turn and in front of us
are two girls and one of them turns around and
talks to my wife and is asking her about, you know,
how many previews there normally are at this nice theater.
This is the this is the fancy theater in our town.
This is the theater right high and yeah, they actually
you press a button at your chair and they come
(07:16):
serve you with a waiter, okay, and and they bring
you popcorn in a big dog bowlf. Okay, Well, I
like that. It's pretty cool. It's dinner in the show
type deal. Is that kind of thing. I know, you've
been to a theater that has nice seats. They have
really fancy seats. So and their ticket prices reflect this
(07:40):
because they're probably I don't know, five six dollars more
than the theater down the street. But it's worth it.
So we're like, let's go in there. We'll hit the
touch screen see if anything is worthwhile. And the girls
in front of us, you know, she's talking. She's mid
conversation with my wife, and my wife he tells her
about the button at the seats and the popcorn and
(08:02):
the dog bowl, and we're both looking at this girl like.
As she leaves, we realized, Ben that this is a
big time actress from the popular HBO show The White Lotus.
Oh really. She played the character Porsche, and she was
(08:22):
as nice as could be. Let me look her up here,
holds okay, let me see, yeah, Porsche, the White Lotus.
All right, and looked it up right now when I'm
googling it as we speak here let me see if
I let's see I see the TV series here from
season two of White Lotus Season two. All right, uh,
(08:48):
what do you know what our characters? Yeah, her character's
name is Porsche. Oh Porsche, he said that. Hello, let's
see here. I think p O R T I A
from correct? Oh I see? Oh yeah, Okay, Hayley Lou Richardson.
Is that the right name there? Look at that? How
about that? It's a small world after. You don't get
(09:09):
that in in uh in Sheboygan, you don't get that
in Sheboygan. She was really nice and uh and and
really pretty in person um. And she's set some fashion
trends because of her character on that show and the
way she dressed. A lot of kids, a lot of
teens are dressing to mimic her character, to copy because
(09:32):
she wears these big, thick colored sunglasses. And ever since
that season of The White Lotus, there's been teenagers walking
around our country wearing her style. Okay, says she's from Phoenix.
You want fun facts, I got fun facts and trump Phoenix.
She moved to l A at the age of sixteen.
(09:55):
About that. So she's she's been doing this for a
while now and uh yeah, look at that. All right,
So she was cool, she was nice. It was really cool.
And you know, we don't We saw the movie that
she was late to and we're like, yeah, it was
like a chick flick. So we keep looking nothing good
at the time we were looking for so we said, well,
(10:16):
we'll see a movie some other time. So we continued
walking to the Barnes and Nobles. Now, if that was
the only interaction we had that night, then it would
have been cool because we met Portia from the White Lotus,
all right, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. But unfortunately, there
was interaction with one other lady that night. It wasn't
(10:39):
a panhandler. Not sure you could tell me because now
we're walking around, we're looking at the books. You could
smell the aroma of coffee coming from the coffee shop
inside the bookstore. And my girl tells me, hey, we
could go into the kids section and look for some
(11:00):
books for our you know, our baby boy. And I
told her, yeah, it's a good idea. There's obviously a
lot of classic books that you can start adding to
your collection while you're expecting a kid, and that's a
fun section of the bookstore. Anyways, as you know, so
we go into the kids section and we're having fun.
We're walking down memory lane. She's like, oh my god,
(11:23):
remember this one. And I'm down on the other end
and I'm showing her a classic book from our childhood
and it's awesome. We're having a good time in there.
But there's this lady sitting at the little table inside
the kids book section. She has her laptop open, she
has a coffee cup, she has a penholder down, she
(11:45):
has set up shop. I mean, it looks like you've
seen this inside Starbucks, where people take over an entire
table and they make it their workstation and they move
in right this lady moved into the children's books action
there at the bookstore. So it was odd looking. I
didn't know if she was an employee doing inventory, but
(12:06):
it quickly became clear that she was not an employee
because and I'm gonna call this up on my phone, Ben,
because I made my girl right down exactly what she said,
and she texted it to me. What did she say?
As the two of us are walking past, her points
to my wife, he and we're not that far from her.
(12:28):
She points to her and says, oh, I like your breasts,
and we both stopped in our tracks. She pauses, looks
at us, makes eye contact with my wife, and then says,
so sexy, Now, did you did you say, hey, well,
(12:52):
thank you for that. I appreciate that my breasts are
wonderful because because then she finishes it by saying, good
for sucking. Wow about that, man, that's she's got no
shame in her game. Huh. This lady was about fifty
years old. Boy, all right, did she noticed that there's
(13:15):
a there's a bun in the oven there? Did she
noticed that at all? Possibly? No? Oh no. They outfit
that my girl had on. You couldn't see a lot
of the belly, but you could see a lot of
the pressses. But it was like a sweater. They were covered,
but you know, you could see she had bobs. But
the fifty year old lady, I mean, we came to
(13:38):
the conclusion that she must have been like special. Yeah, yeah,
I was she drinking? Did she smelled like alcohol? No?
But the fact that she was set up inside the
kids section like that at the table, we thought, oh,
there must be something going on with this lady. She just,
you know, must no filter. She made like on the
(14:00):
spectrum or something like that. Like she's Yeah, that's what
we sighed. I mean, we didn't know what to do. Um,
you know, we didn't feel threatened, so we weren't gonna
go complain to anybody like this generation would they'd go
cancel her. Yeah, you should have called t MZ. You're
never gonna believe this, Harvey. You're going to what happened? Man?
We were at this bookstore and this woman up? I mean,
(14:22):
my god, what are you doing? All week long? Though,
whenever I would like see her in the kitchen, I
just would look at her and I'd say, good for sucking. Uh,
it made for a good story. So there is that.
It made for a good story. That was good for sucking.
There you go. Uh. Now, my my wife recently got
(14:46):
me a very yummy treat. We were out and about
running errands and she presents to me in this really
nice box a sugar cookie. I think I might have
mentioned this in passing on this podcast, but thick frosting.
I'm a big frosting guy, Danny on the on the
cookies upcakes and cake or what I'm all about the front.
(15:07):
So it's like a sugar cookie, you know whatever, and
it's got thick frosting. That's my favorite. The frosting is wonderful.
But she wouldn't tell me how much it costs, right,
she shouldn't tell me what you cost. And it was
from I don't know if you've been in this place,
this Crumble Bakery. It's a place out of Utah. There's
like a chain of them that they're around. Yeah. Yeah,
actually there's one not far from my house and we
(15:28):
went there for the first time back in December. Yeah.
So they're pretty good. Right, they're pretty good, uh to
kind of, you know, more of a high end. You're
not too expensive, but for my taste, and these things
are like potato chips, right, I mean they're they're big,
but you're like, you gotta I want to have more
and all that stuff, and you can't really just eat one,
you gotta have part of another. And they became addictive
(15:49):
and so but I'm, you know, I'm kind of a
tight one. And so I found out how much they
cost these cookies, and I'm like, holy holy ship balls,
you got I mean, what are we doing here? You know?
I mean I like it, but I don't like it
that much. And then at least like four or five
dollars or whatever. I think maybe even more now. Um,
(16:09):
and so I kin't like that's and they're tasty, but
I don't know if they're they're tasting anymore. So I decided, Danny,
that I was gonna save the family some money. Oh
so I did some digging. I did a quick thumbnail search,
and I was strolling around the dark web, and I
found a copycat recipe for this particular cookie. Because this
(16:33):
was the one I really liked. That was a night
to remember from the cookie. So I was like, I
found a copycat recipe, and I went to work. I
went to work, and I became the frugal baker. Now
I had a couple of assistants in the kitchen. I
had my niece and nephew who were hanging out. Now,
(16:54):
they're they're a little you know, kids like you know,
five years old and three years old for slave labor.
Oh yeah, they're they're great. But I didn't notice that
they do not like my style of baking, Danny. The
kids do not enjoy I'm very methodical. I'm very surgical,
and I like follow the recipe exactly right. I'm a
(17:15):
douche bag when it comes to cookie. I admit it,
but I'm like, this is a big deal. These cookies
are really expensive. I can make like sixteen cookies for
the price of half a one cookie pretty much with
all the ingredients. I was like, I'm gonna go for it.
And uh, my my niece gott Lover. She she decided
that the recipe that I was doing needed extra sugar,
(17:36):
and so she just wanted to keep adding sugar. Yeah,
and like so I wasn't like looking, and sometimes she
just like grabbed the sugar, so I had to move
the sugar away and all that, and uh, and then
they kind of got bored because I think they just
wanted to eat. They didn't really want to like do
the actual like methodical part of it. But anyway, it
(17:57):
had a happy ending. Made the cookies, made the frosting,
put put all the thing together, and absolute nailed it.
Danny and nailed it. It was great. The frugal baker
pays off, so no longer four or five dollar cookies now.
I did realize, though, I'm gonna have to do some
(18:18):
recon to find out what other cookies I like. So
occasionally I'm gonna have to go in to the bakery
and to to the Crumble Bakery and figure out what
other cookies I like. But this one's great, and so
I'm very proud. Danny saved a lot of money, a
ton of money there and these things are great. And
the key on that Alman extract. That's the key, Danny
(18:41):
Alman extract. That is the key or your recon You're
in luck because they are having a two for eighteen
dollar special for the rest of the month. Yeah, limited
time only, yes, uh, for the for the more uh,
the more cost conscious consumer of cookies. So we have
(19:01):
popcos the culture, and that means we need to play
the opening tune from our guy, Ohio owl poo. All right,
(19:24):
thank you for that as always Ohio. So these are
some of the stories that we did not talk about it.
At least maybe you did, Danny. I don't know. On
our show, the Overnight Show, we didn't talk about it.
I don't know if you guys, Comino and Rich your
your guys talked about this. I'm very excited about this
story because I've often kind of gone back and forth
sparred with my wife about her obsession when we're going
(19:44):
out to eat, if we're in a place where not
familiar with she loves going online and looking up reviews
of restaurants. And my position has always been that's a
lot of bullshit. Like if I owned a restaurant, I
would put some really nice reviews on there, and I
get my friends and family to do it. I don't
(20:05):
know if I really buy the reviews. I'm very skeptical
about that. But she says, no, no, this gives you
a good idea to kind of tell you what what's good,
what's not. You know, she's she's really into it, my wife.
So I bring this story up and pop goes the culture.
The number one restaurant, number one, the number one restaurant
(20:26):
on trip Advisor in Montreal, kind of a big city.
They had a Major League Baseball team there for a
long time. It's big Canadian city in the French speaking
part of Canada. So the number one restaurant in that
city in Montreal, and I'm not can even try to
say the name because it's a French name and god knows,
I don't know French. But the restaurant's the number one
(20:47):
spot on the travel app city rankings, but unfortunately it
doesn't actually exist. It's it's number one on this uh
this trip Advisor and it it doesn't it does not exist.
And so of course, well I'm glad you brought that
(21:08):
up because they the website, this is this story on
the CBC. They went into it. They kind of went
into detail. Uh and so how is it possible? Uh?
They they're even reviews where they said very high ceilings,
there's photos of it, uh and all this stuff. Well,
they eventually took the page down to the CBC in
(21:28):
Canada investigated this and they got a response from trip Advisor.
They said they They responded by saying, stunts like this
that create a fake restaurant listing arc, they said, uncommon
and do not share the characteristics of genuine, you know, fraud.
They said, So I guess somebody like this is a gag.
(21:49):
They made it up. And this place had eighty five reviews,
all of them giving five stars, and it was it
was the number one restaurant us you all in Quebec.
So it's like the five star podcast reviews. We get
exactly why can't we How do we set this up? Danny?
(22:10):
We need to get are those bots you think they
don't know? Oh? Man, that that's that's hilarious. Man, what
do youse guys have a high ceiling number one out
of three thousand six vent restaurants in Montreal and it
doesn't even exist. Uh. Imagine you own some French bistro
(22:30):
and you're like, wait a minute, I mean we actually
serve food here. Uh. Man, all right, here's the deal
of a lifetime on pop culture. Danny, you're in prison,
you're locked up. Do you want to get out early? Danny?
How about this? Uh, if you give us an organ,
we'll let you out a little early. How about that
(22:51):
a few months early? Does that work for you? Yeah,
if you give up part of your insides, we'll let
you leave a little earlier. Yeah. Uh. This is out
of where else but the Commonwealth. In Massachusetts, there is
a bill that would cut prison time for organ donations. Now,
(23:16):
critics of this are saying it's unethical and depraved and
all that stuff, as you you might imagine. But this
new legislation that's just been proposed, it's HD dot three
eight to two. It's in the State House of Massachusetts,
and it says incarcerated individuals could save two months to
(23:37):
one year off their prison sentence in exchange for bone,
marrow and organ donations. Yeah, girl was waiting for me
on the outside. Ben I would show up with roses
and she'd be like, what are you doing out? You
have a year left? And I would be like, baby,
I gave up a kidney to come see you. Yeah,
you better make this a magical like because I'm I
(24:01):
only have one kidney, so you're better tell me here. Wow,
that's not I've heard urban legend. I don't know if
it's an urban legend or not. That in China I
heard years ago that this kind of thing where they
don't even ask you, they don't give you a deal,
like certain poor people in China, they're just like they
just take their organs. There's like a whole black market organs,
(24:26):
which is which is sad and depressing and uh and
all that. Now, could you do this for other things?
Like if you had a lot of traffic tickets? Could
you could you give up what did you give up
your hair? Could you shave your head and donate that
through a charity? Like what's how much how much time
off of jail can you get for different things? Is
(24:46):
it like a menu? You think Danny on this and
this bill where depending on what organ, you get a
full year. But if you only give like what would
be only a couple of months. I know some people
that would like to back in the day, would have
liked to trade to get out of a d u.
I oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
He's like, hey, help me out. Those aren't those ten
(25:10):
twenty dollars something like twenty thousand bucks? Man? It's wild
And you got the the uber thing in these days.
Back in the old days, you didn't didn't have that.
You had to get a taxi, which was a I
think now you know, I guess we're getting older, Danny.
I'm not up on all the internet challenges, but here's
one that has caused some problems. Did you see the
(25:31):
story this week in Mexico where fifteen kids in Mexico.
I don't know if you say kids are older, but
they were treated after they took part in an internet
tranquilizer challenge. Oh stupid, dumb du dum dum dum. So
the way this works I understand is the challenge was
(25:53):
to see who can stay awake the longest after taking
the the tranquilizer. That sounds like a good idea. Yeah,
but let's get the tide pods up there as well.
And some of the other bullshit that we're real challenge.
They should have put your live show on in the background. Yeah,
dare you? Uh? No, I thought these kids were older.
(26:16):
It Actually they're grade school students in Mexico. So these
aren't even like I thought they were kind of older
college age kids. But no, they're grade school students in
Mexico and they were taking part in this thing. This
happened on in Monday and then in the north central
part of of Mexico, and it's old enough to drink
(26:37):
tokate there, So I guess. So, man, who's the jackass
that comes up with this? Like this is a good idea.
It's uh, we'll get some cloud online. What could go wrong?
So they say if you take tranquilizers kind of obvious here,
but you you're not supposed to take them without medical supervision.
(26:58):
They obviously call your drowsiness, but nausea, difficult with memory
and breathing issues allegedly, so there is that. It's like pregnancy.
There you go, pop goes the culture. The Kremlin is
(27:19):
trying to change the name. There's a town in Russia
called full Go Grad. I believe as how you pronounce
it Volgograd. Who And they want to change the name
back to the much more famous name Danny. You probably
heard of Stalingrad. They want to bring that back from
back in the old days when the badass Soviet Union
(27:41):
the they were the rule and the roost, trying to
scare motherfucker's I guess what's uh isn't Bombay? India doesn't
exist anymore either? Is that correct? Didn't they get rid
of the name Bombay? Yeah, they got rid of I
know this is that's not obviously in Russia, but for
some reason I thought of that when I saw this,
(28:01):
this headline Stalingrad, they may they bring it back. Pop
goes the culture. This one, This one's been bouncing around
for a while. I guess it's actually gonna happen. Netflix
is really going forward. This seems like a really bad
business decision, but they're going to stop password sharing and
they've they've got a very aggressive plan here to end
(28:25):
the rampant password sharing. And this has been speculated about
for a long time, but they've come up with the plan.
They've got new rules. Whatever device a user is using
Netflix on must log in on their home WiFi network
once every thirty one days or else, or else their
(28:47):
account will be blocked. That's such a huge pain in
the ass. Yeah, it's it's it's bullcrap too. And here's why, right,
it's it's it's rather when Netflix start, Dude, what was
the advantage of Netflix, Danny, it was, Hey, we're fighting
the man at cable and this is a way to
save money and you get all these programs and it
(29:09):
was like new and it was different. And now they're
just becoming as despotic as the old cable companies that
so many people. Some people still have, but a lot
of people have moved on from that. It's not right, man,
Greed is a disease. Yeah, it's a monster's like Frankenstein's lab.
Netflix started out as this small little company that the
(29:33):
famous story the Blockbuster video could have bought, and then
they didn't do it. And then Netflix kept growing and
growing and growing and growing and growing, and now they're
now they're the assholes there the skunk at the garden party,
That would be Netflix. Uh, get time for a for
a few more the cloud chaser. Did you see the
(29:56):
story out of China? A woman trying to get lie online?
She ate a great white shark. She bought it online.
She ate the thing, and they don't. They don't like that.
In China, you're not You're not supposed to eat the
great white shark in China. It's a food blogger and
(30:16):
the Chinese government has charged her with illegally buying, cooking,
and eating a great white shark, all of it documented
on TikTok. Last week, we asked the question, what did
whale tastes like? Remember? Oh, yeah, we have whale. Uh.
We we talked about kangaroos last week. You remember, yeah,
(30:40):
great white I don't I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what it tastes like, obviously. Uh. The
food blogger initially spent one thousand, one one US dollars
seven thousand, seven hundred Chinese dollars to the end. Got
the info for you, depending on who's doing the dining.
(31:03):
Shark meat tastes like chicken or road kill, hey, meat
and mild, but has to be soaked well before it's
eaten because sharks urinate through their skin. Huh is that
a urinate through their skin? Huh? Yummy? Doc Miike could
(31:23):
be all over that. That's that's porn for Doc Mike.
So the Chinese government slapped this woman with a fine
of eight peen thousand, five two US dollars, but in
Chinese money, that's one hundred and twenty five thousand for
illegally by eating a wild and there you go. So
(31:48):
but that's actually I think that's pretty good because I
thought they'd just throw you in jail in China and
throw away the key. At least they're giving the woman
an opportunity if she's got that kind of money two
to uh, to not have to go to jail and
just pay pay some money. Right, last one here on
the pop goes the culture and we'll we'll press on.
(32:10):
And a zoo director, I guess wanted to have a
really nice Christmas party, Danny, because the story on this
is decided that they wanted to serve goat. So the
zoo director has been accused of killing four pygmy goats
and serving them at the Christmas party. Splaughtered the animals
(32:34):
and cooked them on the zoo premises, by the way,
and and put those who ate them at risk. According
to the the official there, they were not fit for
human consumption. But I guess nothing happened. Where did this happen?
Then you want to take a guess where this happened.
I'm gonna say Dallas, Texas. Dallas. Well not not in
(32:56):
the United States. This is not a US story. The
reason and I say Dallas is there zoo there has
been having lots of isshoes. Oh yeah, well did they
keep the lights on? Unlike the airport at l A
in l A, where they turn the lights the power goes. Uh.
This happened in Mexico. In Mexico. This happened there in Mexico.
(33:20):
There's a investigation a southern southern part of Mexico at
a zoo there. They noticed they kind of realized, wait
a minute, there's some animals missing, and they thought they
had been sold off. Well, it turns out they weren't
sold off. That they had a big end of the
year party and they cooked They cooked the goats up.
(33:41):
They're like, hey, let's go h I gotta think if
you live in Mexico, though, if you you're from Mexico,
you've got a better stomach than we have because the
water there. We can't even drink the water when we
go to Mexico. Right, Yeah, goats are nasty, though, have
you ever tasted goat's milk I have not. When I
(34:01):
was a kid, my mom made that goat meat like
one time and it was disgusting and it was like,
you know, lamb, baby goat. I'm like, I'm out, I'm
out on that. But no, what is lamb? What is
Lamb's milk? Tastes like it's sour, nasty, really bad taste.
There was somebody that my mom was friends with when
I was a kid, and she had goats on their
(34:23):
little farm, and she convinced my mom to take some
bottles of the goat milk. And so my mom was like, oh,
this is great. I could go back there and keep
getting this milk from from this lady from my church group.
And she found out quickly that all of us would
be at the toilet barfing trying to serve goat's milk.
(34:44):
There's no such thing as free milk does not at
least good tasting. All right, we'll get out. We have backscratcher.
Let's do backscratcher now. We we love when people write
nice reviews for us on the Apple Podcast page, the
Fifth Hour Apple Podcast page. So this week, Danny, did
we get one, two or none? I'm gonna say we
(35:09):
got to do you think we got two? All right?
Did we get to let's see reveal answers, reveal answers
to you got it right, Danny too? Congratulations. You want
a lifetimes playing nothing and you get what Roberto got
out of the FSR vending machine Nothing? Did you hear
about that? Roberto wanted a tasty treat, so he put
(35:29):
his money in. He punched the number, He punched the
wrong number. It was a slot with nothing, and nothing
came out of the middle. Uh. In an envelope for
Roberto exactly, Uh, Robbie the Mariger Fan writes in a
(35:51):
show legend, Robbie says audio art, truly audio art. A
giant speaker playing this amazing podcast on seven loop should
replace the Mona Lisa at the Louver Museum. He says,
ps f blind Scott, Well that's not nice. He's a
terrible person in a fraud. That's from Robbie the Mariner Fan,
(36:13):
taking a pot shot at blind Scott, who does listen
to this podcast? At the end, all right, and one more,
this one headlined earbud Magic. It's from Sparty and says
if your earbuds need auditory stimulation. The fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny g is the podcast for you.
This podcast needs to come with a warning though. That's right.
(36:34):
The fifth hour is addictive. Like Jed who fled on meth.
You will be hooked with your first ear sampling of
this podcast. But pace yourself for all three days of
this foray into an auditory smorges Borg of information, backstories,
(36:55):
non sport o questions, and pop culture quizzes. Uh, says
Ben Mallory's the Michael Angelo of the podcast world, painting
verbal masterpieces all weekend long on the fifth hour. So
sit back, relax, and let your earbuds be verbally caressed
all weekend. Uh. And then he points out, Sparty, I
think I missed a spot. Yeah, that was a tongue
(37:20):
bath right there. Danny. That was man, tastes like a
touchdown in your mouth. How dare you? He called you
the wrong artist, though you're more like Van Go leaving
air bud tips in your ear. Oh yeah, well that
was that was the genius of the lastie. Well, thank you, Sparta.
It's very kind of you. I appreciate that. And what
(37:42):
you did right there is illegal in seventh Southern states
below the Bible Belt. Uh. That's illegal and also in Utah.
So uh, thank you. I appreciate that. All right, Dad,
that's good anything you got to promote here. It's a Saturday,
no football, well the Pro Bowl? But who's are you watching?
The trouble? I'm not? Well, yeah, because at three pm
(38:03):
later today, can I have an airplane flying contest? And
I heard that Tyler Huntley can make a sick gas
paper airplane. That's why he was voted in. Just a
tip in case you want to gamble on this with DraftKings,
you know how many how many passes Tyler Huntley completed
this year in the NFL many seventy five the entire season.
(38:29):
It's the first time in forty eight years that a
quarterback with less than a hundred completions has made the
Pro Bowl. Mid nineteen seventies, and that was because the
the NFC had thirteen teams. The NFL teams had thirteen teams,
and they ran out of quarterbacks. There were too many
guys hurt, so they went to a guy that had
completed less than a hundred passes. This was intentional, though
(38:52):
there were other people that could have. Now how concerned
as a raider guy, Danny are you today, because Derek
Carr get hurt. If he gets hurt, that like a
thirty forty million dollar injury. If he gets hurt a
jump rope contest, how's he gonna get hurt? I think
what they should do, Ben, if they want to make
this compelling TV, just have the silliest competitions that are
(39:15):
known to man, like have him play Marble's doing like
a water balloon toss, which is kind of silly. Right, yes, yeah,
all right, we'll get out, have a wonderful rest of
your day. Thank you for supporting the podcast. And we'll
have a mail bag for you. It's Carolina Reaper Hot
that mail bag and we'll get that to you on Sunday.
(39:37):
Have a great day. And by the way, Derek Carr
will find a way to get sacked Austa Plasta got
a murder. Gotta go,
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
into another podcast, a sparkling new podcast, The Fifth Hour
with Ben Mallard and Danny g Radio. In the podcast,
ojo every single day, no days off. I'm on drugs
(00:47):
right now, man and Danny. I want to start by
saying thanks to Angelo who was on yesterday's podcast, Angelo Cataldi,
who I love talking to these radio guys. I might
be the only one, Danny, that enjoys this. I don't
know if anyone else likes this stuff. I am such
a radio loser. But Angelo has been doing this for
thirty something years in Philadelphia, and some of those stories
(01:09):
he told if you didn't hear the Friday podcast, he
told the story about going to the NFL draft with
a bunch of listeners and a party bus and they
picked up a homeless guy because they were a listener short,
so they just picked up a guy off the streets
of Philadelphia and took him to the NFL Draft and
UH and his band for Life from the NFL Draft,
(01:31):
which is, oh my gosh, outstanding on many levels, Danny,
but I just love the stories, and he's retiring from radio,
and I thought this would be the perfect time to
get Angelo on because the NFL is wrapping up next
weekend with the Eagles in the super Bowl, and he's
had the Eagles coach on his show. The Eagles coach
called him out by name during these playoffs, Danny Nick Sirianni,
(01:55):
the Eagles coach, was so upset with Angelo's criticism he
named him, which I thought was amusing. So it was
some good stories there, Yeah, outstanding, really good. Make sure
you download that from yesterday, yeah and today on the
Saturday podcast. This is the calm before the storm, as
we have a big travel plans for Danny g I
(02:18):
know he'll be in Arizona all week for the Super
Bowl and uh I might make a cameo appearance day.
I do not know yet. As of right now, I
do not know whether or not there will be a
cameo appearance by me. But I do have family in Phoenix,
so I might my crew cruise over. Maybe I'll fly
in for the day. I annoyed, so we'll find Yeah,
(02:38):
I'm hearing rumblings that the fifth hour might be broadcasting
live from Radio Row. That would be awesome. We've never
done alive a live podcast, so that'll that'd be really cool.
We'll see see many people listen live and then they
can go back and listen to it later. Be awesome.
All right. Anyway, on this Saturday podcast, We've got the
(03:00):
Lion Cook, Bring your Breast, the Frugal Baker, and some
other things that may or may not pop up. We've
got Pop Goes, the Culture Scientifical Backscratchers. So there's a
lot of content. We'll dive right into it, and I'll
begin with this. We had a big family get together
(03:20):
at the Mallard mansion last weekend and I was deputized.
I was I was deputized as the man in charge
of the cooking. So my father in law, my uh
my my stepmother in law, my my sister in law,
my brother in law, her kids, everyone's hanging out. We're
(03:43):
having a grand old time at the Mallard mansion, but
I spent pretty much the entire day driving around picking
up groceries because I'm now in my my spare time, Danny,
I'm I'm a line cook, and so we were making
cheese steak sandwich. Is the Mallard cheese steaks and which
for no apparent reason, but I there's there's only a
few things I know how to make them. The griddle,
(04:04):
so I was. I got all the proper meat, the cheese,
the everything, bread and uh and just like Tony Bruno
taught me an authentic South Philadelphia guy, Tony Bruno, So
I got all these all these different items, the the
bell pepper, the onions, everything. So I'm preparing the meal
and pretty much the entire time my my in laws
(04:26):
were over, I was making cheese stack. I don't make
it fast enough, though, Nanny. This is a criticism that
my wife has that she I can make them like
two at a time, but she wants me to make
them all at the same time. But to make say,
I have high standards, so I feel like if I
make them all at the same time, most of them
(04:47):
will be pretty good, but one or two of them
is gonna be like crap, and I don't want to
do that, you know, so I make them two at
a time, which is not not ideal, but I pulled
it off and was pretty pretty exhausted by the end
of that. You know, they were less than less than
a dozen. But I'm usually just cooking for a couple
of people, so you know, you add on more and
(05:08):
the trying to get everything perfect. You know, you want
to poison your your family. You're trying to not have
to poison your family and all that stuff. So um
so it was a full day of activity and then uh,
you know, you know, after that, we we we turned
into to Benny the Baker and all that, and we'll
get into that in a minute. But the the bring
(05:30):
your breast is that? Is that X rated? What is
that all about? Do you mean bring your best or
bring your breast? I don't know either one. I have
no Well it's funny because a couple of weeks ago,
Covino actually said on the air, and you're in a
relationship or whatever, you want to be happy in that
(05:52):
relationship and you want your partner to be happy too.
So I'm just saying, trying to bring your breast, your
bro I mean they mean, yours are looking great. Thank you.
Oh my god, I got moves. Bring your breast and
your best to the situation at all. I think he
(06:12):
meant bring your best in this case though this story,
it is breast or breasts at the end. Yes, last Saturday,
decided to go ahead and take the tinder Oni out
for a date. So I said, let's go to Barnes
and Nobles, walk around. We could hit up the coffee
(06:33):
shop get dessert there, and she's like, yeah, that's a
good idea. So we parked at the shopping center nearby,
which had the movie theater there and the Barnes and
Nobles right next door. So we walk into the movie
theater just to kind of double check their screen. They
have inside the touch screen where you can look at showtimes.
(06:53):
So we're waiting our turn and in front of us
are two girls and one of them turns around and
talks to my wife and is asking her about, you know,
how many previews there normally are at this nice theater.
This is the this is the fancy theater in our town.
This is the theater right high and yeah, they actually
you press a button at your chair and they come
(07:16):
serve you with a waiter, okay, and and they bring
you popcorn in a big dog bowlf. Okay, Well, I
like that. It's pretty cool. It's dinner in the show
type deal. Is that kind of thing. I know, you've
been to a theater that has nice seats. They have
really fancy seats. So and their ticket prices reflect this
(07:40):
because they're probably I don't know, five six dollars more
than the theater down the street. But it's worth it.
So we're like, let's go in there. We'll hit the
touch screen see if anything is worthwhile. And the girls
in front of us, you know, she's talking. She's mid
conversation with my wife, and my wife he tells her
about the button at the seats and the popcorn and
(08:02):
the dog bowl, and we're both looking at this girl like.
As she leaves, we realized, Ben that this is a
big time actress from the popular HBO show The White Lotus.
Oh really. She played the character Porsche, and she was
(08:22):
as nice as could be. Let me look her up here,
holds okay, let me see, yeah, Porsche, the White Lotus.
All right, and looked it up right now when I'm
googling it as we speak here let me see if
I let's see I see the TV series here from
season two of White Lotus Season two. All right, uh,
(08:48):
what do you know what our characters? Yeah, her character's
name is Porsche. Oh Porsche, he said that. Hello, let's
see here. I think p O R T I A
from correct? Oh I see? Oh yeah, Okay, Hayley Lou Richardson.
Is that the right name there? Look at that? How
about that? It's a small world after. You don't get
(09:09):
that in in uh in Sheboygan, you don't get that
in Sheboygan. She was really nice and uh and and
really pretty in person um. And she's set some fashion
trends because of her character on that show and the
way she dressed. A lot of kids, a lot of
teens are dressing to mimic her character, to copy because
(09:32):
she wears these big, thick colored sunglasses. And ever since
that season of The White Lotus, there's been teenagers walking
around our country wearing her style. Okay, says she's from Phoenix.
You want fun facts, I got fun facts and trump Phoenix.
She moved to l A at the age of sixteen.
(09:55):
About that. So she's she's been doing this for a
while now and uh yeah, look at that. All right,
So she was cool, she was nice. It was really cool.
And you know, we don't We saw the movie that
she was late to and we're like, yeah, it was
like a chick flick. So we keep looking nothing good
at the time we were looking for so we said, well,
(10:16):
we'll see a movie some other time. So we continued
walking to the Barnes and Nobles. Now, if that was
the only interaction we had that night, then it would
have been cool because we met Portia from the White Lotus,
all right, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. But unfortunately, there
was interaction with one other lady that night. It wasn't
(10:39):
a panhandler. Not sure you could tell me because now
we're walking around, we're looking at the books. You could
smell the aroma of coffee coming from the coffee shop
inside the bookstore. And my girl tells me, hey, we
could go into the kids section and look for some
(11:00):
books for our you know, our baby boy. And I
told her, yeah, it's a good idea. There's obviously a
lot of classic books that you can start adding to
your collection while you're expecting a kid, and that's a
fun section of the bookstore. Anyways, as you know, so
we go into the kids section and we're having fun.
We're walking down memory lane. She's like, oh my god,
(11:23):
remember this one. And I'm down on the other end
and I'm showing her a classic book from our childhood
and it's awesome. We're having a good time in there.
But there's this lady sitting at the little table inside
the kids book section. She has her laptop open, she
has a coffee cup, she has a penholder down, she
(11:45):
has set up shop. I mean, it looks like you've
seen this inside Starbucks, where people take over an entire
table and they make it their workstation and they move
in right this lady moved into the children's books action
there at the bookstore. So it was odd looking. I
didn't know if she was an employee doing inventory, but
(12:06):
it quickly became clear that she was not an employee
because and I'm gonna call this up on my phone, Ben,
because I made my girl right down exactly what she said,
and she texted it to me. What did she say?
As the two of us are walking past, her points
to my wife, he and we're not that far from her.
(12:28):
She points to her and says, oh, I like your breasts,
and we both stopped in our tracks. She pauses, looks
at us, makes eye contact with my wife, and then says,
so sexy, Now, did you did you say, hey, well,
(12:52):
thank you for that. I appreciate that my breasts are
wonderful because because then she finishes it by saying, good
for sucking. Wow about that, man, that's she's got no
shame in her game. Huh. This lady was about fifty
years old. Boy, all right, did she noticed that there's
(13:15):
a there's a bun in the oven there? Did she
noticed that at all? Possibly? No? Oh no. They outfit
that my girl had on. You couldn't see a lot
of the belly, but you could see a lot of
the pressses. But it was like a sweater. They were covered,
but you know, you could see she had bobs. But
the fifty year old lady, I mean, we came to
(13:38):
the conclusion that she must have been like special. Yeah, yeah,
I was she drinking? Did she smelled like alcohol? No?
But the fact that she was set up inside the
kids section like that at the table, we thought, oh,
there must be something going on with this lady. She just,
you know, must no filter. She made like on the
(14:00):
spectrum or something like that. Like she's Yeah, that's what
we sighed. I mean, we didn't know what to do. Um,
you know, we didn't feel threatened, so we weren't gonna
go complain to anybody like this generation would they'd go
cancel her. Yeah, you should have called t MZ. You're
never gonna believe this, Harvey. You're going to what happened? Man?
We were at this bookstore and this woman up? I mean,
(14:22):
my god, what are you doing? All week long? Though,
whenever I would like see her in the kitchen, I
just would look at her and I'd say, good for sucking. Uh,
it made for a good story. So there is that.
It made for a good story. That was good for sucking.
There you go. Uh. Now, my my wife recently got
(14:46):
me a very yummy treat. We were out and about
running errands and she presents to me in this really
nice box a sugar cookie. I think I might have
mentioned this in passing on this podcast, but thick frosting.
I'm a big frosting guy, Danny on the on the
cookies upcakes and cake or what I'm all about the front.
(15:07):
So it's like a sugar cookie, you know whatever, and
it's got thick frosting. That's my favorite. The frosting is wonderful.
But she wouldn't tell me how much it costs, right,
she shouldn't tell me what you cost. And it was
from I don't know if you've been in this place,
this Crumble Bakery. It's a place out of Utah. There's
like a chain of them that they're around. Yeah. Yeah,
actually there's one not far from my house and we
(15:28):
went there for the first time back in December. Yeah.
So they're pretty good. Right, they're pretty good, uh to
kind of, you know, more of a high end. You're
not too expensive, but for my taste, and these things
are like potato chips, right, I mean they're they're big,
but you're like, you gotta I want to have more
and all that stuff, and you can't really just eat one,
you gotta have part of another. And they became addictive
(15:49):
and so but I'm, you know, I'm kind of a
tight one. And so I found out how much they
cost these cookies, and I'm like, holy holy ship balls,
you got I mean, what are we doing here? You know?
I mean I like it, but I don't like it
that much. And then at least like four or five
dollars or whatever. I think maybe even more now. Um,
(16:09):
and so I kin't like that's and they're tasty, but
I don't know if they're they're tasting anymore. So I decided, Danny,
that I was gonna save the family some money. Oh
so I did some digging. I did a quick thumbnail search,
and I was strolling around the dark web, and I
found a copycat recipe for this particular cookie. Because this
(16:33):
was the one I really liked. That was a night
to remember from the cookie. So I was like, I
found a copycat recipe, and I went to work. I
went to work, and I became the frugal baker. Now
I had a couple of assistants in the kitchen. I
had my niece and nephew who were hanging out. Now,
(16:54):
they're they're a little you know, kids like you know,
five years old and three years old for slave labor.
Oh yeah, they're they're great. But I didn't notice that
they do not like my style of baking, Danny. The
kids do not enjoy I'm very methodical. I'm very surgical,
and I like follow the recipe exactly right. I'm a
(17:15):
douche bag when it comes to cookie. I admit it,
but I'm like, this is a big deal. These cookies
are really expensive. I can make like sixteen cookies for
the price of half a one cookie pretty much with
all the ingredients. I was like, I'm gonna go for it.
And uh, my my niece gott Lover. She she decided
that the recipe that I was doing needed extra sugar,
(17:36):
and so she just wanted to keep adding sugar. Yeah,
and like so I wasn't like looking, and sometimes she
just like grabbed the sugar, so I had to move
the sugar away and all that, and uh, and then
they kind of got bored because I think they just
wanted to eat. They didn't really want to like do
the actual like methodical part of it. But anyway, it
(17:57):
had a happy ending. Made the cookies, made the frosting,
put put all the thing together, and absolute nailed it.
Danny and nailed it. It was great. The frugal baker
pays off, so no longer four or five dollar cookies now.
I did realize, though, I'm gonna have to do some
(18:18):
recon to find out what other cookies I like. So
occasionally I'm gonna have to go in to the bakery
and to to the Crumble Bakery and figure out what
other cookies I like. But this one's great, and so
I'm very proud. Danny saved a lot of money, a
ton of money there and these things are great. And
the key on that Alman extract. That's the key, Danny
(18:41):
Alman extract. That is the key or your recon You're
in luck because they are having a two for eighteen
dollar special for the rest of the month. Yeah, limited
time only, yes, uh, for the for the more uh,
the more cost conscious consumer of cookies. So we have
(19:01):
popcos the culture, and that means we need to play
the opening tune from our guy, Ohio owl poo. All right,
(19:24):
thank you for that as always Ohio. So these are
some of the stories that we did not talk about it.
At least maybe you did, Danny. I don't know. On
our show, the Overnight Show, we didn't talk about it.
I don't know if you guys, Comino and Rich your
your guys talked about this. I'm very excited about this
story because I've often kind of gone back and forth
sparred with my wife about her obsession when we're going
(19:44):
out to eat, if we're in a place where not
familiar with she loves going online and looking up reviews
of restaurants. And my position has always been that's a
lot of bullshit. Like if I owned a restaurant, I
would put some really nice reviews on there, and I
get my friends and family to do it. I don't
(20:05):
know if I really buy the reviews. I'm very skeptical
about that. But she says, no, no, this gives you
a good idea to kind of tell you what what's good,
what's not. You know, she's she's really into it, my wife.
So I bring this story up and pop goes the culture.
The number one restaurant, number one, the number one restaurant
(20:26):
on trip Advisor in Montreal, kind of a big city.
They had a Major League Baseball team there for a
long time. It's big Canadian city in the French speaking
part of Canada. So the number one restaurant in that
city in Montreal, and I'm not can even try to
say the name because it's a French name and god knows,
I don't know French. But the restaurant's the number one
(20:47):
spot on the travel app city rankings, but unfortunately it
doesn't actually exist. It's it's number one on this uh
this trip Advisor and it it doesn't it does not exist.
And so of course, well I'm glad you brought that
(21:08):
up because they the website, this is this story on
the CBC. They went into it. They kind of went
into detail. Uh and so how is it possible? Uh?
They they're even reviews where they said very high ceilings,
there's photos of it, uh and all this stuff. Well,
they eventually took the page down to the CBC in
(21:28):
Canada investigated this and they got a response from trip Advisor.
They said they They responded by saying, stunts like this
that create a fake restaurant listing arc, they said, uncommon
and do not share the characteristics of genuine, you know, fraud.
They said, So I guess somebody like this is a gag.
(21:49):
They made it up. And this place had eighty five reviews,
all of them giving five stars, and it was it
was the number one restaurant us you all in Quebec.
So it's like the five star podcast reviews. We get
exactly why can't we How do we set this up? Danny?
(22:10):
We need to get are those bots you think they
don't know? Oh? Man, that that's that's hilarious. Man, what
do youse guys have a high ceiling number one out
of three thousand six vent restaurants in Montreal and it
doesn't even exist. Uh. Imagine you own some French bistro
(22:30):
and you're like, wait a minute, I mean we actually
serve food here. Uh. Man, all right, here's the deal
of a lifetime on pop culture. Danny, you're in prison,
you're locked up. Do you want to get out early? Danny?
How about this? Uh, if you give us an organ,
we'll let you out a little early. How about that
(22:51):
a few months early? Does that work for you? Yeah,
if you give up part of your insides, we'll let
you leave a little earlier. Yeah. Uh. This is out
of where else but the Commonwealth. In Massachusetts, there is
a bill that would cut prison time for organ donations. Now,
(23:16):
critics of this are saying it's unethical and depraved and
all that stuff, as you you might imagine. But this
new legislation that's just been proposed, it's HD dot three
eight to two. It's in the State House of Massachusetts,
and it says incarcerated individuals could save two months to
(23:37):
one year off their prison sentence in exchange for bone,
marrow and organ donations. Yeah, girl was waiting for me
on the outside. Ben I would show up with roses
and she'd be like, what are you doing out? You
have a year left? And I would be like, baby,
I gave up a kidney to come see you. Yeah,
you better make this a magical like because I'm I
(24:01):
only have one kidney, so you're better tell me here. Wow,
that's not I've heard urban legend. I don't know if
it's an urban legend or not. That in China I
heard years ago that this kind of thing where they
don't even ask you, they don't give you a deal,
like certain poor people in China, they're just like they
just take their organs. There's like a whole black market organs,
(24:26):
which is which is sad and depressing and uh and
all that. Now, could you do this for other things?
Like if you had a lot of traffic tickets? Could
you could you give up what did you give up
your hair? Could you shave your head and donate that
through a charity? Like what's how much how much time
off of jail can you get for different things? Is
(24:46):
it like a menu? You think Danny on this and
this bill where depending on what organ, you get a
full year. But if you only give like what would
be only a couple of months. I know some people
that would like to back in the day, would have
liked to trade to get out of a d u.
I oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
He's like, hey, help me out. Those aren't those ten
(25:10):
twenty dollars something like twenty thousand bucks? Man? It's wild
And you got the the uber thing in these days.
Back in the old days, you didn't didn't have that.
You had to get a taxi, which was a I
think now you know, I guess we're getting older, Danny.
I'm not up on all the internet challenges, but here's
one that has caused some problems. Did you see the
(25:31):
story this week in Mexico where fifteen kids in Mexico.
I don't know if you say kids are older, but
they were treated after they took part in an internet
tranquilizer challenge. Oh stupid, dumb du dum dum dum. So
the way this works I understand is the challenge was
(25:53):
to see who can stay awake the longest after taking
the the tranquilizer. That sounds like a good idea. Yeah,
but let's get the tide pods up there as well.
And some of the other bullshit that we're real challenge.
They should have put your live show on in the background. Yeah,
dare you? Uh? No, I thought these kids were older.
(26:16):
It Actually they're grade school students in Mexico. So these
aren't even like I thought they were kind of older
college age kids. But no, they're grade school students in
Mexico and they were taking part in this thing. This
happened on in Monday and then in the north central
part of of Mexico, and it's old enough to drink
(26:37):
tokate there, So I guess. So, man, who's the jackass
that comes up with this? Like this is a good idea.
It's uh, we'll get some cloud online. What could go wrong?
So they say if you take tranquilizers kind of obvious here,
but you you're not supposed to take them without medical supervision.
(26:58):
They obviously call your drowsiness, but nausea, difficult with memory
and breathing issues allegedly, so there is that. It's like pregnancy.
There you go, pop goes the culture. The Kremlin is
(27:19):
trying to change the name. There's a town in Russia
called full Go Grad. I believe as how you pronounce
it Volgograd. Who And they want to change the name
back to the much more famous name Danny. You probably
heard of Stalingrad. They want to bring that back from
back in the old days when the badass Soviet Union
(27:41):
the they were the rule and the roost, trying to
scare motherfucker's I guess what's uh isn't Bombay? India doesn't
exist anymore either? Is that correct? Didn't they get rid
of the name Bombay? Yeah, they got rid of I
know this is that's not obviously in Russia, but for
some reason I thought of that when I saw this,
(28:01):
this headline Stalingrad, they may they bring it back. Pop
goes the culture. This one, This one's been bouncing around
for a while. I guess it's actually gonna happen. Netflix
is really going forward. This seems like a really bad
business decision, but they're going to stop password sharing and
they've they've got a very aggressive plan here to end
(28:25):
the rampant password sharing. And this has been speculated about
for a long time, but they've come up with the plan.
They've got new rules. Whatever device a user is using
Netflix on must log in on their home WiFi network
once every thirty one days or else, or else their
(28:47):
account will be blocked. That's such a huge pain in
the ass. Yeah, it's it's it's bullcrap too. And here's why, right,
it's it's it's rather when Netflix start, Dude, what was
the advantage of Netflix, Danny, it was, Hey, we're fighting
the man at cable and this is a way to
save money and you get all these programs and it
(29:09):
was like new and it was different. And now they're
just becoming as despotic as the old cable companies that
so many people. Some people still have, but a lot
of people have moved on from that. It's not right, man,
Greed is a disease. Yeah, it's a monster's like Frankenstein's lab.
Netflix started out as this small little company that the
(29:33):
famous story the Blockbuster video could have bought, and then
they didn't do it. And then Netflix kept growing and
growing and growing and growing and growing, and now they're
now they're the assholes there the skunk at the garden party,
That would be Netflix. Uh, get time for a for
a few more the cloud chaser. Did you see the
(29:56):
story out of China? A woman trying to get lie online?
She ate a great white shark. She bought it online.
She ate the thing, and they don't. They don't like that.
In China, you're not You're not supposed to eat the
great white shark in China. It's a food blogger and
(30:16):
the Chinese government has charged her with illegally buying, cooking,
and eating a great white shark, all of it documented
on TikTok. Last week, we asked the question, what did
whale tastes like? Remember? Oh, yeah, we have whale. Uh.
We we talked about kangaroos last week. You remember, yeah,
(30:40):
great white I don't I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what it tastes like, obviously. Uh. The
food blogger initially spent one thousand, one one US dollars
seven thousand, seven hundred Chinese dollars to the end. Got
the info for you, depending on who's doing the dining.
(31:03):
Shark meat tastes like chicken or road kill, hey, meat
and mild, but has to be soaked well before it's
eaten because sharks urinate through their skin. Huh is that
a urinate through their skin? Huh? Yummy? Doc Miike could
(31:23):
be all over that. That's that's porn for Doc Mike.
So the Chinese government slapped this woman with a fine
of eight peen thousand, five two US dollars, but in
Chinese money, that's one hundred and twenty five thousand for
illegally by eating a wild and there you go. So
(31:48):
but that's actually I think that's pretty good because I
thought they'd just throw you in jail in China and
throw away the key. At least they're giving the woman
an opportunity if she's got that kind of money two
to uh, to not have to go to jail and
just pay pay some money. Right, last one here on
the pop goes the culture and we'll we'll press on.
(32:10):
And a zoo director, I guess wanted to have a
really nice Christmas party, Danny, because the story on this
is decided that they wanted to serve goat. So the
zoo director has been accused of killing four pygmy goats
and serving them at the Christmas party. Splaughtered the animals
(32:34):
and cooked them on the zoo premises, by the way,
and and put those who ate them at risk. According
to the the official there, they were not fit for
human consumption. But I guess nothing happened. Where did this happen?
Then you want to take a guess where this happened.
I'm gonna say Dallas, Texas. Dallas. Well not not in
(32:56):
the United States. This is not a US story. The
reason and I say Dallas is there zoo there has
been having lots of isshoes. Oh yeah, well did they
keep the lights on? Unlike the airport at l A
in l A, where they turn the lights the power goes. Uh.
This happened in Mexico. In Mexico. This happened there in Mexico.
(33:20):
There's a investigation a southern southern part of Mexico at
a zoo there. They noticed they kind of realized, wait
a minute, there's some animals missing, and they thought they
had been sold off. Well, it turns out they weren't
sold off. That they had a big end of the
year party and they cooked They cooked the goats up.
(33:41):
They're like, hey, let's go h I gotta think if
you live in Mexico, though, if you you're from Mexico,
you've got a better stomach than we have because the
water there. We can't even drink the water when we
go to Mexico. Right, Yeah, goats are nasty, though, have
you ever tasted goat's milk I have not. When I
(34:01):
was a kid, my mom made that goat meat like
one time and it was disgusting and it was like,
you know, lamb, baby goat. I'm like, I'm out, I'm
out on that. But no, what is lamb? What is
Lamb's milk? Tastes like it's sour, nasty, really bad taste.
There was somebody that my mom was friends with when
I was a kid, and she had goats on their
(34:23):
little farm, and she convinced my mom to take some
bottles of the goat milk. And so my mom was like, oh,
this is great. I could go back there and keep
getting this milk from from this lady from my church group.
And she found out quickly that all of us would
be at the toilet barfing trying to serve goat's milk.
(34:44):
There's no such thing as free milk does not at
least good tasting. All right, we'll get out. We have backscratcher.
Let's do backscratcher now. We we love when people write
nice reviews for us on the Apple Podcast page, the
Fifth Hour Apple Podcast page. So this week, Danny, did
we get one, two or none? I'm gonna say we
(35:09):
got to do you think we got two? All right?
Did we get to let's see reveal answers, reveal answers
to you got it right, Danny too? Congratulations. You want
a lifetimes playing nothing and you get what Roberto got
out of the FSR vending machine Nothing? Did you hear
about that? Roberto wanted a tasty treat, so he put
(35:29):
his money in. He punched the number, He punched the
wrong number. It was a slot with nothing, and nothing
came out of the middle. Uh. In an envelope for
Roberto exactly, Uh, Robbie the Mariger Fan writes in a
(35:51):
show legend, Robbie says audio art, truly audio art. A
giant speaker playing this amazing podcast on seven loop should
replace the Mona Lisa at the Louver Museum. He says,
ps f blind Scott, Well that's not nice. He's a
terrible person in a fraud. That's from Robbie the Mariner Fan,
(36:13):
taking a pot shot at blind Scott, who does listen
to this podcast? At the end, all right, and one more,
this one headlined earbud Magic. It's from Sparty and says
if your earbuds need auditory stimulation. The fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny g is the podcast for you.
This podcast needs to come with a warning though. That's right.
(36:34):
The fifth hour is addictive. Like Jed who fled on meth.
You will be hooked with your first ear sampling of
this podcast. But pace yourself for all three days of
this foray into an auditory smorges Borg of information, backstories,
(36:55):
non sport o questions, and pop culture quizzes. Uh, says
Ben Mallory's the Michael Angelo of the podcast world, painting
verbal masterpieces all weekend long on the fifth hour. So
sit back, relax, and let your earbuds be verbally caressed
all weekend. Uh. And then he points out, Sparty, I
think I missed a spot. Yeah, that was a tongue
(37:20):
bath right there. Danny. That was man, tastes like a
touchdown in your mouth. How dare you? He called you
the wrong artist, though you're more like Van Go leaving
air bud tips in your ear. Oh yeah, well that
was that was the genius of the lastie. Well, thank you, Sparta.
It's very kind of you. I appreciate that. And what
(37:42):
you did right there is illegal in seventh Southern states
below the Bible Belt. Uh. That's illegal and also in Utah.
So uh, thank you. I appreciate that. All right, Dad,
that's good anything you got to promote here. It's a Saturday,
no football, well the Pro Bowl? But who's are you watching?
The trouble? I'm not? Well, yeah, because at three pm
(38:03):
later today, can I have an airplane flying contest? And
I heard that Tyler Huntley can make a sick gas
paper airplane. That's why he was voted in. Just a
tip in case you want to gamble on this with DraftKings,
you know how many how many passes Tyler Huntley completed
this year in the NFL many seventy five the entire season.
(38:29):
It's the first time in forty eight years that a
quarterback with less than a hundred completions has made the
Pro Bowl. Mid nineteen seventies, and that was because the
the NFC had thirteen teams. The NFL teams had thirteen teams,
and they ran out of quarterbacks. There were too many
guys hurt, so they went to a guy that had
completed less than a hundred passes. This was intentional, though
(38:52):
there were other people that could have. Now how concerned
as a raider guy, Danny are you today, because Derek
Carr get hurt. If he gets hurt, that like a
thirty forty million dollar injury. If he gets hurt a
jump rope contest, how's he gonna get hurt? I think
what they should do, Ben, if they want to make
this compelling TV, just have the silliest competitions that are
(39:15):
known to man, like have him play Marble's doing like
a water balloon toss, which is kind of silly. Right, yes, yeah,
all right, we'll get out, have a wonderful rest of
your day. Thank you for supporting the podcast. And we'll
have a mail bag for you. It's Carolina Reaper Hot
that mail bag and we'll get that to you on Sunday.
(39:37):
Have a great day. And by the way, Derek Carr
will find a way to get sacked Austa Plasta got
a murder. Gotta go,
Host
Ben Maller
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