March 25, 2023 • 38 mins
Maller & his 5th Hour home-skillet Danny G. have fun for your Saturday! They're talking: The Sixth Sense, An Old Radio Trick, the Swing Shift, Back Scratcher, Pop Goes the Culture & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a
clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The
(00:22):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the
air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
g Radio is back in your audio device, and we
thank you for finding the podcast the global reach of podcasting,
(00:44):
because four hours a night on the overnight not enough
for me. And Danny's got his hands full with Covino
and Rich, but he has more time, more hot takes
to provide, even on a Saturday, Danny, even on a Saturday. Yeah, Man,
we don't rast. We don't sleep. Actually, I guess we
sleep in increments. I slept for three hours the other
(01:07):
night straight. I fell asleep and I was so impressed.
I was like, I didn't wake up once in those
three hours. Congratulations. That's what has it been. As you
get older, it is just harder and harder to sleep
through a whole night. I've never been good at sleeping
unless I drug myself. I blame my parents because my
(01:30):
mom was not a good sleep. I think my dad
was an okay sleeper, but yeah, I'm just a terrible,
terrible sleeper. We have that in common. My mom would
sleep for a couple hours when I was a kid,
and she was good. She wandered around at night cleaning
stuff like a weirdo. Yeah. I don't have the sleep gene.
My wife does, my pal my buddy does. The little
(01:52):
guy he's got a great sleep, but I don't. I
do not have the ability to sleep more than more
a little bit. I guess it enables us to do
radio any time of the day or night. That's right,
as we are both very proud. I think we've both
done this. We've done the radio cycle, which is very
rare to do these days because there's not a lot
of radio stations that have that available to do the
(02:14):
entire radio cycle. And you're saying, hey, stupid, what is
the radio cycle? What's kind of obvious? There are how
many hours in the day, Danny twenty five. I'm not
a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Yeah,
so every hour spanning the globe or spanning the clock
from twelve to twelve. We have been on morning drive,
(02:39):
mid day, afternoon drive, night show, overnight show. We've done
every shift possible, every one of them, every one of them,
and my least favorite was the morning show. And I'd
say the shift. I love the overnight shift because they
leave me alone management. But the midday shift is pretty
good too, because that's you don't usually have to deal
(03:02):
with too much. The only problem with the midday shift
is you have traffic going in and traffic going out
of salespeople wandering around in and out of your studio. Yeah.
I don't think the salespeople would recognize me if I
was in a police lineup, so I don't have to
worry about that. Not at a national level, we don't
have salespeople wandering around. But like, say you were just
(03:24):
doing radio in I don't know, give me a city, Pittsburgh.
If you were doing radio in Pittsburgh on an FM
sports talk, you would have a local salesperson and general
sales manager walk into your studio and bug you about
stuff while you were doing your show. Oh yeah, no,
(03:45):
we I had that, and I did the midday show
in La at the old AM eleven fifty, which is
now a conservative political station, but it was a sports
station and sales guys would come in. It's like, hey,
I've got a I got a potential advertiser. Can you
meet with them or can you do a spec spot
for them? Or yeah, kind of one lag up we
(04:06):
have doing national radio is the salespeople that work with
us all do it through email because they're in different cities. Yeah,
they're all over the place. But it's a it's a
double edged sword, right, because you do local stuff, you
get sometimes you actually get more opportunity to get goodies.
Oh perks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have as many opportunities,
(04:28):
which you know, give some. It's to give and take
because when we are both doing local radio. Half the
ship we owned was traded with clients. Oh yeah, no,
it was wonderful. Man, I got so much free ship
back in the day. It was it was great. It
was a barter blooza. Yeah, well it's really good all right. Anyway,
on this podcast, we have the sixth sense radio trickery,
(04:53):
the swing shift, backscratcher, pop goes the culture and if
we have time, scientifically so a lot of content in
one podcast, but we'll start with this. So this is
one of the five craziest stories, one of the five
craziest things that has happened to me. And I have
not told this story before to anyone. I'm gonna tell
(05:17):
you listening. I'm gonna tell Danny, obviously because he's on
the show. But I've never told anyone in this story
on any audio platform. And it starts like every fairy tale,
once upon a time, like last week, it was a
normal night. There wasn't anything magical about it. I got
off the radio show. I was doing the show from
(05:39):
the home studio. So I turned off the magic radio box.
I walked out of the home studio. I closed the
door behind me. I walked down the hall. I made
a left turn, and then I made another turn. I
walked down some stairs and I went around the corner
(05:59):
there and I arrived at the kitchen. And so at
this point, Danny in the story, it was me morphing
like a chameleon from gas bag to dishwasher. I was.
I was Benny the dishwasher, the glamorous life of a
big time radio guy. So yes, things have to be done.
(06:22):
So I rinsed the dishes. I am methodical, I am surgical.
When I'm doing the dishes, I make sure there's very
little to any evidence that the dishes were even used before.
I pretty much cleaned them before they go in the dishwasher.
So I got all the pasta, all the sauce, all
the gunk off the dishes and the plates and all that,
(06:42):
cleaned everything put in the dishwasher. And we had some
cast iron. But you know those cast iron pans that
you cook in and stuff, So those were separate. So
those the way you wash those, You can't put soap
on them because it destroys the flavoring of the cast iron.
So you clean them with just water and you have
(07:03):
like this metal sponge thing you clean them. Yeah, and
as a veteran dishwasher, I've done this many times. And
then the final step to cleanse the dishes as you
put them on the stove and then you turn on
the stove and then the fire makes them good. Right,
any kind of bacteria or anything is burned away from
(07:23):
the fire. So that's the way to do it. So fine,
So I did all that. I grabbed the car key,
I got my gym stuff, I head all out the
door to the gym. It's about a five to seven
minute drive from the Mallard mansion to the gym. I
would like you to know that it's now been multiple
years since the treadmill that I I beloved treadmill Danny
(07:48):
when we moved, and I had said on the podcast,
I said, I don't think that treadmill is going to
survive the move, and my wife and everyone said, oh no,
it'll be fine. Still not working. So I'm still bummed
about that. I love that treadmill. But anyway, so I
go to the gym five to seven minute drive. I
get there, I toss my stuff on the locker. They
(08:09):
have these lockers that are like daylockers, hold whatever. So
I hopped a story about those before. Exactly I've forgotten
the code, so yeah, so I make sure to double
check the code. So I hop on the treadmill and
I am sweating. The gym is empty. There's some senile people,
there's some drug addicts, and there's some random women wearing
wearing way too much makeup that I don't know why
(08:32):
they're there at that time whatever. So I'm in there
doing my thing. I'm watching random YouTube videos on my phone,
and I'm just like, all right, this is a necessary evil.
Maybe I'll get a couple extra minutes of life out
of this at some point down the line. Maybe not,
who knows. So I'm unwinding, and I still remember I
looked at the timer. I said, a timer to see
(08:53):
how long I'm gonna be on the treadmill, and I
I tried it about eighty minutes. So I'm twenty minutes in,
twenty seconds into the timer, and all of a sudden,
in my head, I see this image flash in front
of my eyes and it was like a fire. It
was like an inferno right pops into my head, Like
what the fuck is that? You know, I'm just trying
(09:13):
to work out, you know. And and as I was
daydreaming or something like that, and it didn't leave my head,
and I'm like, I'm kept seeing these images of fire,
and it got stronger, and then I had a come
to Jesus moment, Danny, I had a quantum leap. And
(09:35):
I don't know how this happened. It hit me, Holy fuck,
I may have left the stove on at the Mallard mansion.
Oh no, yeah, like I wasn't I wasn't sure you
know you you thought of something, but you're not really sure,
like the moment it hits you too. Yeah, I then
(09:55):
flashed back. I was a cub Scout and a boy Scout,
and I learned in the boy Scouts it's to be
safe and sorry. So I jumped off the treadmill, and
this thing's just going through my head like there's fire
and I'm thinking of fire and smoke, and so I
grabbed my car key, I empty the locker, I sprint
out the door. It's raining. I go to the mallarmobile
(10:19):
at a little sweat because I just kind of got
a little sweat going. It's raining. I'm driving through the rain.
It's no one's on the road, pedal to the metal.
It's like speed racer. I get to the house and
I break the spacetime continuum. I roll in to the
front door. I have just like in the movies, Danny,
I have trouble opening the front door to the house,
(10:41):
right because I'm so flustered. And yeah, you dropped the keys.
Yeah yeah, So I screwed that up and then opened
the door and the smell of burning, I don't know what,
was overwhelming burning, And sure enough, my dumb ass. Danny
(11:05):
had left the stove on to clean the pot, and
fortunately I made it there. If I had not had
that pop into my head, I can only imagine what
kind of horrific situation would have happened at the At
the Mallard mansion, there was no fire, but it was
this nasty smell of like chemicals. I don't know what
(11:29):
it was from the pot and the blistering hot pan,
and I avoid the fire. The moral of the story, Danny,
it's a teachable moment here is, do not do the
dishes when you're half asleep and about to go to
the gym, and always double check you turned the stove off. Dot.
(11:50):
I don't know. It was like a sixth then says
that happened he Danny, It just popped into my head randomly,
And my wife said it was probably my subconscious that
popped in. Hey, dumbass, I don't know it was a
higher power or what back of my brain, but me
and am I grateful Danny because that could have really
gone a bad, bad place. I have the solution for
(12:13):
that never happening. What's that, Danny, I do not do
the dishes. Well, that is a way to avoid it. Now,
who does the dishes at the at the house there,
do you now? My wife he loads the dishwasher. But
what we do to help her is we clean our
dishes really well and then put them in the What
(12:34):
is it? Do you have a sink rack? I do
have a nice rack. Tire Iraq hi iraq dot com.
There you go. You know they test their own tires.
Did you know that? Yeah? There you go, and they've
got over ten thousand This is amazing, Danny, ten thousand
uh tires from may you wake up sometimes reciting tire
(12:58):
rack reads. I know all the names of tires. I
only knew like two names of tires when this started.
The sponsorship with Tirak, I can now name Brettisteine and
Kumo and all the different kinds of tires that are out.
We die laughing. Still, Rob Parker's still trying to pronounce
(13:19):
most of the tires. Whenever there's a fill in host
for Chris Brussard, Parker says, you go ahead and do
the tire irak reads. Oh yeah, yeah. When I filled
in for Broussard at the Super Bowl, I was the
tire rat guy. Yep, that was that was my gig.
I was mister tire rack. I was like, wow, he
wants me to do the read. That's right kind of
(13:40):
that's a that's a big thing. Uh yeah, yeah, well
Rob should do Nanny is a little radio trickery, That's
what he ought to do, because then you can nail
the commercial if you do that radio trickery. You know,
this is an old radio trick that I'm about to
talk about, and I've heard you do it on your
live radio show. Now. I haven't told any stories about
(14:00):
the classroom recently, and you know, it's been a wet,
rainy wonderland at the school. The kids, I think have
gotten used to it, although one of them told me
last week, is it ever gonna stop raining? And I
told him, yeah, you're gonna look back at this and
you're gonna say, man, that one year I was in
(14:21):
sixth grade, it rained like crazy and there was even
a tornado in La And I said, because you're never
gonna see rain like this again for the rest of
your lifetime if you hang around southern California. So the
room has very much been a warm hiding spot kids
in the morning, you know, they'll come in, shake their
umbrellas off, take their raincode off, and they b line
(14:46):
right to the Wii, right to the video games where
they battled each other every morning. Now I've told the
story about how competitive some of these kids get with
the video games in my morning classroom. Not a super
hard job, but I gotta make sure that there's no
bad language that obviously these kids are all getting along
(15:07):
with each other. And you know, other than that, I
leave them alone. I let them do their thing. As
you know, Ben, when they get to be sixth, seventh,
eighth grade, just kind of be cool with them, let
them have fun. And when you need to interject, you know,
you take action. And with me, I can just give
him a look and they know, oh shit, he heard
(15:29):
what I just said. They'll they'll kind of get in line. Yeah.
But this one girl, and I will change her name
to protect the innocent and the guilty. Let's let's say
her name is give me a girl's name, Daisy, All Daisy,
Let's call her Daisy. She comes in and she has
(15:52):
a grand entrance every single morning. Her backpack is actually
a roller bag, like she is in a hurry at
an airport. She wheels this bag in, slams the door open,
runs with the bag into the classroom, slams the bag
down by one of the desks and says, I'm here, bitches.
(16:19):
But she's going to be a piece of work the
rest of her life. Man, that's not going to change.
That's only gonna get worse. That's too Yeah. So it
is the loudest entrance every morning, and every time she
says bitches, she turns and looks at me because she
knows she shouldn't be saying that as her entrance. But
it's the same thing every morning. So when I see
(16:41):
her or hear her rather entering the classroom, I'm like, oh, man,
here comes Daisy. This nice, relaxed morning is about to
take a turn. Instantly, she's like, give me one of
the controllers. They know her, so they're like, oh, wait,
your turn. You know, I'm almost done with this game.
You could be in line after so and so. And
(17:03):
she's like, yeah, yeah, but I'm a seventh grader. You're
just a little shitty sixth grader. I'm next. Oh boy.
She gets a controller and as she's battling one of
the other kids on this video game, she says, you
stupid homosexual, oh boy, And bet I don't know how
(17:25):
a lot of these kids have been raised, but the
look on their faces was like she said the C word,
blank my, blank and blank you. They all in Unison
turned and looked at me at my desk like she
said the worst word they had ever heard in their lives.
(17:45):
And I said, okay, I know, and she's like, what
what's wrong with that word? She's like, there's nothing wrong
with being homosexual? Is there? And then she turned and
looked at the kids that were offended. So now it's
the old Segnfeld bit, right, not that there's anything wrong
with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I told her,
(18:08):
I said, Daisy, I know I've said this too before,
but find a different way to express yourself. And she's
like all right. And so she continues on playing the
video game and the next time she gets into it
with whoever she was battling on her controller, she says, Ben,
and you're gonna appreciate this an old radio tricks, you
(18:31):
stupid Homo one one thousand two, one thousand, Stapien. That's great.
That's a sharp kid, Now, get Daisy. Yeah, yeah, the
old radio trick. Yeah, you used it for asshole a lot, right, Yeah,
(18:53):
Because I was told you can't say asshole, but you
can't say ass one one thousand and two, one thousand three,
that hole, you can do that. Yeah, and uh oh yeah.
Back in the old days, we used to have such fun.
We would be like, uh, there was a local radio
show in LA that was a hockey show, and the
(19:14):
boss thought it would be funny to call the big pucking'
uh you know, a hockey show or whatever. Well, even
with Eddie, we have a segment on the show we
call puck the world yea, which is it's great because
people hear the word puck and they think of something else.
I don't know what the other word is. And yeah,
so that's always fun. That's it was just I gotta
(19:34):
kick out of it because when she did that pause,
she's gonna be on the radio someday. She just pulled
a radio trick that she didn't even know it was
an old radio trick. That's hilarious. That's funny. That's good.
See the next generation, the generations after us there, they're
continuing the tradition. Danny, I'd love to hear it. So
(19:55):
the swing ship thing real quick, this is not gonna
be a long thing. I just wanted to mention. I
baked a ton of cookies. We talked about. I sent
a fair amount of photos. There were three different types
of cookies that I made. My wife had a Saint
Patti's Day weekend party thing, and so I made some
green frosted cookies. Yeah, they came out pretty good. I
(20:17):
was happy with how they came out. I loved those
ones with the frosty, and that's my go to cookies.
So my wife had a party. Was her family, None
of my you know family was there whatever, So that's fine.
You know, we're through marriage. We're all family. We get
along with everybody at a good time. But I was
on the swing shift, Danny. I I pulled the ultimate
Uncle Benny move, and me and my fellow uncle gentleman
(20:42):
named Chris, we determined that we needed to go down
to the neighborhood park with all the kids. So we
we riled up. We got all the kids together and
there was a pack of four kids and we wandered
down the street, cross a big, big thoroughfare there and
(21:02):
then hung out at the park and trying to keep track.
I can only imagine what you do, Danny at work,
because these are kids that I know, their family, and
there's like a kid over here, a kid over there,
a kid in the back. Like they're all over the place.
They're running wild. Some kids want to be on the
swing set, others want to be playing in the sand.
(21:22):
Then there's a kid on some kind of play set
over here. They're like all over the place. It was nuts,
So I'm trying to keep track. But I did do
the ultimate on the swing shift in order to get
them to take a photo because I was like, this
would be a great photo. These kids are gonna be
all the annoying teenagers and adults soon. So I said,
the way to do. I gotta get a good photo.
(21:44):
So I bartered to deal with them, and I told
them Danny, I said, listen, we're about to leave right now,
but if you take a photo together, you get an
extra thirty minutes. Oh wow. Yeah, And you know, Danny,
on kid time, thirty minutes is a long oh yeah,
a lout of time when you're on kid time. And
(22:06):
so they were like totally cool, and it was It
was great because they I had them all kind of
standing on these rocks sitting. A couple of kids were
sitting on the rocks and my nephew. He was like
pouring sands. So it was he's a little, you know,
a little a little ball of trouble there. So it
was cool. It was a lot of fun. It was
(22:26):
my Now, what a difference right between the equipment they
have on the playground these days and what we had
with those rusted slides and some of those death traps. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
we had. I'll never forget growing up in Irvine. We
had a there was this slide I think it was
(22:47):
Heritage Park and it was this massive thing that you
could tell was probably built with extra construction stuff that
they just had left over, and they're like, we want
to make a park, and so it was this long,
it was this large tower and it had it was
way too high for little kids, but it had chain
link so you couldn't fall through. But it had become
(23:11):
rusted and they had this giant slide and it was
all just it smelled like disgusting bodily fluids and and
that was our That was our playground. That was like
where we hung out. And yeah, now everything's got those
little rubber tire pieces and every safe. Oh dude, everything
(23:33):
is totally safe. No more. I'm looking it up right now.
Jungle gyms, metal slides, log swing, sand pits, rusted seesaws,
ball pits. Remember you try to touch the like the stuff,
and it would your hands would burn from the if
(23:54):
it was during the summer. Yeah, they've even figured out
a way to avoid it from getting too hot. Remember
those things you would ride that had the coils, Yes, yeah,
I remember a kid getting his fingers caught in the coils.
It's nasty. Oh man, there was so much unsafe stuff
(24:15):
at the parks we went to when we were little kids.
Oh yeah, but you know we got hair on our
chest because of that, right true, very true. We landed
on tree bark and got you remember that tree bark
everywhere at these old parks. Oh yeah. And I I
was like, we just run through orange groves and where
(24:36):
I grew up, and we just have orange fights, which
is really awesome when you're a kid and you had
you were in an orange fight, a chucking oranges each other,
like you're Nolan Ryan and you have endless amounts of
oranges like every nuts. Yeah, all on the ground. It's
just it's just amazing. So that's where you got that
thirty mile per hour softball pitch we saw you throw
(24:59):
at the Bakersfield game. Well again, there is more one
more than I learned this as a child. There's more
than one way to peel an orange. There's more one
way to get a batter out. The accuracy and the
deception of the Mallard Bugs, Bunny lollipop efis pitch knuckleball.
(25:19):
It's almost like you're one of the Necro brothers. I
don't know what you're talking about. More like Tom Candiotti,
I would say more like that. Yeah, there are no
knuckleball pitchers left in baseball. What's up with that? You're right,
they're all gone. They've killed the knuckleball pitcher. The nerds
have killed the knuckleball pitcher. That used to be the
(25:40):
thing when I was a kid. And if you were
a pitcher that was kind of a tweener. You couldn't
make it in the major leagues, but you had some ability.
You were kind of in between. They called them a
four A player, where you were better than triple A,
but you weren't good enough for the major leagues. The
two tricks, you remember, the two tricks they would do.
The one of them was the knuckleball. The other one
(26:00):
was they would try to have you throw like either
underhand or sidearm oh side arm yeah, yeah, yeah, try
to make you a sidewinder. And I don't even know
that they do that much anymore. Yeah. I was gonna say,
are there even any sidewinders left? There's no more Dennis
Eckersley's yeah, or even There was a guy named Mark
Korn Do you remember him? Pitched in the eighties. There
(26:26):
were a few guys like that in the in the
eighties and nineties. Yeah, one of the great closers of
that year for the Royals, This guy named Dan Quisenberry.
I haven't heard that name in years. Holy shit. I
actually heard his name a couple weeks ago because we
did a story and I don't know that we mentioned
it on this podcast, but there was a story that
(26:46):
they had determined a bunch of baseball players in the
nineteen eighties died from brain cancer, right, a bunch of
Philadelphia Philly players died of brain cancer, and they were
trying to figure out what had happened. Like there was
this pack of Philly players played the eighties and the nineties,
and they determined the reporter in Philly for the newspaper
(27:07):
that the Inquirer. I think it was they got a
sample of the turf from Veteran Stadium. They sent it
to a lab and they determined that the AstroTurf of
the nineteen eighties had all these chemicals. It was like
the AstroTurf equivalent of asbestos. Yeah, but it gets even
(27:29):
stranger than that, Danny. It only happened to the baseball players.
It didn't happen to the football players. So they were like, well,
wait a minute. The Eagles played there, and nobody on
the Eagles suffered from this. Why is it only a
baseball And so they determined that it had to be
a really hot day and if if it was really
hot in the summer, the chemicals would be released from
(27:52):
the AstroTurf. Yeah. And when they say not to drink
from a water bottle, plastic water bottle when it's been
in the hot sun because the heat can release chemicals, yeah, exactly.
And I talked to my friend Bob Fesco in Kansas City.
He pointed out the Royals in the nineteen eighties, who
(28:12):
used to have really good teams. They had their manager
Dick Howser and Dan Quissenberry both died of cancer, and
they think they don't know for sure, but they think
it's the same thing. They used the same There was
one company that made the AstroTurf back in those days,
and they think that's the same thing that happened. Is
really hot in Kansas City. I don't know if anybody
(28:34):
in the Saint Louis Cardinals. He gets hot in Saint Louis, Cincinnati,
places like that, but pretty wild. Backscratcher, backscratcher. Did we
get any reviews this week? Danny? Did we get zero, one,
two or four? That's quite the range. Yeah, I'm gonna
(28:55):
say two, Danny, come on down. The price is right,
you win, yeah, yeah, well you win the chance to
hear me read the reviews, and you know these are
very serious reviews. This one comes from DJ Hung Well Hung, well,
(29:16):
what's up? Yeah? Yeah, my favorite DJ, the man enjoy Me. Yeah,
he's a DJ on one of the porn sites. Anyway.
He says he heard me on Zabe. He says, get
Zabe on the fifth hour. I loved the crossover. Yeah,
so Steve Zaban before you were at Fox Sports Radio, Danny,
(29:38):
he was our morning guy. Okay, And this goes back
probably thirteen years or so, and we're radio friends. And
Zabe is a big radio star in Milwaukee, and he's
done a lot of stuff in Washington, d C. And
he goes back and forth between those cities and he's
been a long time morning guy and radio guy. And
(29:58):
so he has his own podcast which is a spinoff
of his morning show in Milwaukee, and it's called the Zabecast.
And he didn't he didn't invited me on, and the
schedule didn't really work out. We finally logistically worked everything out,
so I did make a rare and appropriate appearance on
the Zabecast. Had a blast. It's a lot of fun
telling old stories with Steve and talking about some of
(30:20):
the stuff so and Zabe said he's willing to do
it to come on our show. So I do have
to answer DJ Hungwell, I'm sure that's his real name.
I will, Yeah, I will reach out to one of
Zab's burner names. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point.
Next up on the Backscratcher. You scratch our back, We'll
(30:41):
scratch your back. And this is on the Apple podcast page.
If you look at the description of the podcast on
the main podcast page you're looking at on your device,
It's very simple, and this is the thing that management checks,
so it's a simple way. All you have to do
is spend a couple of minutes filling out a quick review.
(31:01):
And can you can even put a silly name in there,
like DJ Hung, Well, it doesn't matter and that helps
us out. Flagstaff Mike writes in he says five year
teas the headline what wonderful shows. I listen to every
podcast of the Ben Mallow Show in the fifth hour
along with Danny g I have to because I'm waiting
(31:22):
for Ben to finish a five year tease about Darryl
Strawberry's reaction to La being surrounded by fire. He says,
I happen to see that interview live. Very funny. That's
from Flagstaff, Mike. Will you just keep listening, Mike, and
at some point, at some point, we will make your
(31:42):
dreams come true. Man, Now that is a professional radio tease. Yeah,
just five years. You gotta leave it. You gotta leave
them hanging a little bits. What you gotta do? All right,
pop goes the culture A little time for popcos of
the culture, and that means Ohio owl All right, thanks
(32:12):
Ohio al. And what do you know about Beethoven. You
know anything about Beethoven? Yeah, I saw that movie back
in the day when we were little kids. Earth We're
looking dog Beethoven, the the other Beethoven. Uh. It turns
out they for some reason went back and analyzed Beethoven's DNA,
(32:32):
the first ever analysis of Beethoven's DNA, and they have
answered the mystery of how Beethoven died. See this, You
want to take a guess what caused bee Beethoven, the
legendary musician, all these years later that here we are
and we're still talking about Beethoven. We talk about music,
(32:55):
the Spanish flu. Uh yeah, No, So scientist had deciphered
from Beethoven's genome from locks of his hair that he
drank himself to death. Oh yeah, I should have thought
of it. He is a musician, after all, the legendary
(33:15):
composer had liver disease and hepatitis B, which were made
worse by his heavy boozing. So Beethoven was an alcoholic,
a functioning alcoholic who knew. And it's like if Paul
and Rhode Island could compose music, if he could compose
a phone call, that would be nice. Also, right, that
(33:39):
would be solid well, here's something that's right out of
a Star Wars or Star Trek type film. An alien
mothership lurking in our Solar system could be watching us
with tiny probes, according to what science fiction magazine? How
about a Pentagon official. Ooh, a Pentagon official say what? Yeah? Yeah,
(34:09):
a draft paper by a Harvard scientist had the head
of the Pentagon's UFO office has has raised the idea
of an alien mothership that could be in the Solar
system right now, sending out tiny probes dubbed dandelion seeds
to explore the planets. Went in, how about that? You
(34:33):
think you think this is something? And you think this
guy just did like ayahuasca with Aaron Rodgers and Joe Rogan.
I don't know that's quite the story to make up
out of thin air. Yeah, this comes from Harvard University
and it has Sean M. Kirkpatrick, director of the Pentagon's
All Domain Anomaly Resolution Office. Boy, that's a mouthful. A
(35:00):
a ro O established in July of twenty twenty two
by the Department of Defense the d D to direct
and study objects of interest, and they released the draft
earlier this month. It is not though an official Pentagon document,
but was carried out in partnership with the Department of Defense,
(35:24):
and they say it has not been pure reviewed. But
that's pretty wild. This says aliens would likely want to
explore rocky planets with an atmosphere in the soul. How
you know this? Okay, So they don't think the probes
are like gonna go inside humans. I don't think they're
gonna go up your exit only. I don't think you
have to worry about that. They are tiny. They are
(35:47):
tiny probe, so it might not hurt. Oh man, I
just took a big old probe. I understand, I understand.
I think we're good on that. Right, We're we're up
against the shitty way to end the show. It is
definitely a shitty way to end the show. It is Saturday, Danny,
anything specially you've got going on, anything you want to
promote here. I've got a baby shower that I've been
(36:10):
invited to. I'm very excited about that, Danny. I gotta
tell you, make sure you dominate those games at the
baby shower. Cannot wait. Will there be any games involving
male genitalia? I do not know. I do not for
our baby shower coming up in a couple of months.
I told my wife, I said, make sure you include
(36:32):
a game where you put a whole bunch of crunchy
peanut butter inside disposable diapers. Oh, that's a good idea,
and then you could What you should do is just
have an inside joke and then you like say, I'll
take care of that, and then you eat it. They
want the people at the party. We're like, ohoa, man,
that's disgusting. Oh I'm not even invited to her party.
(36:53):
Her party is going to be women only. I don't
understand how I'm invited to this. I thought I thought
baby shower just supposed to be women all. Yeah, there's
co ed ones and then there's ones where it's just
the girls. Racist. She wanted to kind of keep it
simple because I started booking a DJ, and I was
gonna get like the dance floor you put together and
(37:16):
you know, we're gonna bust out the caterpillar and the
running man and all that. It started getting complicated. She said,
you're out of this. It's all girls. Yeah, you just
do You could do like the rain Dance, remember the race.
What do you got going on today? Though? I got
that going on? What do you got going on day? Oh,
it's a simple Saturday for me. I am still working
(37:36):
on Danny G Radio row Now. I cleaned a lot
of the garage. You can't see it from your vantage
point through our cameras here. But now that I've organized
and cleaned, I need to buy a desk and start
getting my workspace put together. Now, may I recommend offer
(37:56):
Up and the free section. You'd be shocked at the
kind of stuff you can get. You just have to
have a truck to take it. Actually, the debt. One
of the desks I have here in my in my
studio I got for fifty bucks off offer Up. Nice
great desk. It's like a you know, seven eight hundred
dollars desk you have for fifty bucks. So great minds
(38:17):
think alike. I was on that site last weekend looking around. Yeah,
you'll find something, for sure. You gotta act fast though,
that's the problem. I'll give you that stuff's not there.
If it's good, it's gone pretty quick. So I will
get out on that and don't forget the mail bag
on Sunday, have a great rest of the day and
enjoy the college hoops and the last weekend without real
(38:41):
major League Baseball until late October. I guess yeah, pretty well, anyway,
we'll catch you next time. Thank you, Austa Pasta bafolation
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a
clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The
(00:22):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the
air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
g Radio is back in your audio device, and we
thank you for finding the podcast the global reach of podcasting,
(00:44):
because four hours a night on the overnight not enough
for me. And Danny's got his hands full with Covino
and Rich, but he has more time, more hot takes
to provide, even on a Saturday, Danny, even on a Saturday. Yeah, Man,
we don't rast. We don't sleep. Actually, I guess we
sleep in increments. I slept for three hours the other
(01:07):
night straight. I fell asleep and I was so impressed.
I was like, I didn't wake up once in those
three hours. Congratulations. That's what has it been. As you
get older, it is just harder and harder to sleep
through a whole night. I've never been good at sleeping
unless I drug myself. I blame my parents because my
(01:30):
mom was not a good sleep. I think my dad
was an okay sleeper, but yeah, I'm just a terrible,
terrible sleeper. We have that in common. My mom would
sleep for a couple hours when I was a kid,
and she was good. She wandered around at night cleaning
stuff like a weirdo. Yeah. I don't have the sleep gene.
My wife does, my pal my buddy does. The little
(01:52):
guy he's got a great sleep, but I don't. I
do not have the ability to sleep more than more
a little bit. I guess it enables us to do
radio any time of the day or night. That's right,
as we are both very proud. I think we've both
done this. We've done the radio cycle, which is very
rare to do these days because there's not a lot
of radio stations that have that available to do the
(02:14):
entire radio cycle. And you're saying, hey, stupid, what is
the radio cycle? What's kind of obvious? There are how
many hours in the day, Danny twenty five. I'm not
a numbers guy, but that doesn't seem to add up. Yeah,
so every hour spanning the globe or spanning the clock
from twelve to twelve. We have been on morning drive,
(02:39):
mid day, afternoon drive, night show, overnight show. We've done
every shift possible, every one of them, every one of them,
and my least favorite was the morning show. And I'd
say the shift. I love the overnight shift because they
leave me alone management. But the midday shift is pretty
good too, because that's you don't usually have to deal
(03:02):
with too much. The only problem with the midday shift
is you have traffic going in and traffic going out
of salespeople wandering around in and out of your studio. Yeah.
I don't think the salespeople would recognize me if I
was in a police lineup, so I don't have to
worry about that. Not at a national level, we don't
have salespeople wandering around. But like, say you were just
(03:24):
doing radio in I don't know, give me a city, Pittsburgh.
If you were doing radio in Pittsburgh on an FM
sports talk, you would have a local salesperson and general
sales manager walk into your studio and bug you about
stuff while you were doing your show. Oh yeah, no,
(03:45):
we I had that, and I did the midday show
in La at the old AM eleven fifty, which is
now a conservative political station, but it was a sports
station and sales guys would come in. It's like, hey,
I've got a I got a potential advertiser. Can you
meet with them or can you do a spec spot
for them? Or yeah, kind of one lag up we
(04:06):
have doing national radio is the salespeople that work with
us all do it through email because they're in different cities. Yeah,
they're all over the place. But it's a it's a
double edged sword, right, because you do local stuff, you
get sometimes you actually get more opportunity to get goodies.
Oh perks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have as many opportunities,
(04:28):
which you know, give some. It's to give and take
because when we are both doing local radio. Half the
ship we owned was traded with clients. Oh yeah, no,
it was wonderful. Man, I got so much free ship
back in the day. It was it was great. It
was a barter blooza. Yeah, well it's really good all right. Anyway,
on this podcast, we have the sixth sense radio trickery,
(04:53):
the swing shift, backscratcher, pop goes the culture and if
we have time, scientifically so a lot of content in
one podcast, but we'll start with this. So this is
one of the five craziest stories, one of the five
craziest things that has happened to me. And I have
not told this story before to anyone. I'm gonna tell
(05:17):
you listening. I'm gonna tell Danny, obviously because he's on
the show. But I've never told anyone in this story
on any audio platform. And it starts like every fairy tale,
once upon a time, like last week, it was a
normal night. There wasn't anything magical about it. I got
off the radio show. I was doing the show from
(05:39):
the home studio. So I turned off the magic radio box.
I walked out of the home studio. I closed the
door behind me. I walked down the hall. I made
a left turn, and then I made another turn. I
walked down some stairs and I went around the corner
(05:59):
there and I arrived at the kitchen. And so at
this point, Danny in the story, it was me morphing
like a chameleon from gas bag to dishwasher. I was.
I was Benny the dishwasher, the glamorous life of a
big time radio guy. So yes, things have to be done.
(06:22):
So I rinsed the dishes. I am methodical, I am surgical.
When I'm doing the dishes, I make sure there's very
little to any evidence that the dishes were even used before.
I pretty much cleaned them before they go in the dishwasher.
So I got all the pasta, all the sauce, all
the gunk off the dishes and the plates and all that,
(06:42):
cleaned everything put in the dishwasher. And we had some
cast iron. But you know those cast iron pans that
you cook in and stuff, So those were separate. So
those the way you wash those, You can't put soap
on them because it destroys the flavoring of the cast iron.
So you clean them with just water and you have
(07:03):
like this metal sponge thing you clean them. Yeah, and
as a veteran dishwasher, I've done this many times. And
then the final step to cleanse the dishes as you
put them on the stove and then you turn on
the stove and then the fire makes them good. Right,
any kind of bacteria or anything is burned away from
(07:23):
the fire. So that's the way to do it. So fine,
So I did all that. I grabbed the car key,
I got my gym stuff, I head all out the
door to the gym. It's about a five to seven
minute drive from the Mallard mansion to the gym. I
would like you to know that it's now been multiple
years since the treadmill that I I beloved treadmill Danny
(07:48):
when we moved, and I had said on the podcast,
I said, I don't think that treadmill is going to
survive the move, and my wife and everyone said, oh no,
it'll be fine. Still not working. So I'm still bummed
about that. I love that treadmill. But anyway, so I
go to the gym five to seven minute drive. I
get there, I toss my stuff on the locker. They
(08:09):
have these lockers that are like daylockers, hold whatever. So
I hopped a story about those before. Exactly I've forgotten
the code, so yeah, so I make sure to double
check the code. So I hop on the treadmill and
I am sweating. The gym is empty. There's some senile people,
there's some drug addicts, and there's some random women wearing
wearing way too much makeup that I don't know why
(08:32):
they're there at that time whatever. So I'm in there
doing my thing. I'm watching random YouTube videos on my phone,
and I'm just like, all right, this is a necessary evil.
Maybe I'll get a couple extra minutes of life out
of this at some point down the line. Maybe not,
who knows. So I'm unwinding, and I still remember I
looked at the timer. I said, a timer to see
(08:53):
how long I'm gonna be on the treadmill, and I
I tried it about eighty minutes. So I'm twenty minutes in,
twenty seconds into the timer, and all of a sudden,
in my head, I see this image flash in front
of my eyes and it was like a fire. It
was like an inferno right pops into my head, Like
what the fuck is that? You know, I'm just trying
(09:13):
to work out, you know. And and as I was
daydreaming or something like that, and it didn't leave my head,
and I'm like, I'm kept seeing these images of fire,
and it got stronger, and then I had a come
to Jesus moment, Danny, I had a quantum leap. And
(09:35):
I don't know how this happened. It hit me, Holy fuck,
I may have left the stove on at the Mallard mansion.
Oh no, yeah, like I wasn't I wasn't sure you
know you you thought of something, but you're not really sure,
like the moment it hits you too. Yeah, I then
(09:55):
flashed back. I was a cub Scout and a boy Scout,
and I learned in the boy Scouts it's to be
safe and sorry. So I jumped off the treadmill, and
this thing's just going through my head like there's fire
and I'm thinking of fire and smoke, and so I
grabbed my car key, I empty the locker, I sprint
out the door. It's raining. I go to the mallarmobile
(10:19):
at a little sweat because I just kind of got
a little sweat going. It's raining. I'm driving through the rain.
It's no one's on the road, pedal to the metal.
It's like speed racer. I get to the house and
I break the spacetime continuum. I roll in to the
front door. I have just like in the movies, Danny,
I have trouble opening the front door to the house,
(10:41):
right because I'm so flustered. And yeah, you dropped the keys.
Yeah yeah, So I screwed that up and then opened
the door and the smell of burning, I don't know what,
was overwhelming burning, And sure enough, my dumb ass. Danny
(11:05):
had left the stove on to clean the pot, and
fortunately I made it there. If I had not had
that pop into my head, I can only imagine what
kind of horrific situation would have happened at the At
the Mallard mansion, there was no fire, but it was
this nasty smell of like chemicals. I don't know what
(11:29):
it was from the pot and the blistering hot pan,
and I avoid the fire. The moral of the story, Danny,
it's a teachable moment here is, do not do the
dishes when you're half asleep and about to go to
the gym, and always double check you turned the stove off. Dot.
(11:50):
I don't know. It was like a sixth then says
that happened he Danny, It just popped into my head randomly,
And my wife said it was probably my subconscious that
popped in. Hey, dumbass, I don't know it was a
higher power or what back of my brain, but me
and am I grateful Danny because that could have really
gone a bad, bad place. I have the solution for
(12:13):
that never happening. What's that, Danny, I do not do
the dishes. Well, that is a way to avoid it. Now,
who does the dishes at the at the house there,
do you now? My wife he loads the dishwasher. But
what we do to help her is we clean our
dishes really well and then put them in the What
(12:34):
is it? Do you have a sink rack? I do
have a nice rack. Tire Iraq hi iraq dot com.
There you go. You know they test their own tires.
Did you know that? Yeah? There you go, and they've
got over ten thousand This is amazing, Danny, ten thousand
uh tires from may you wake up sometimes reciting tire
(12:58):
rack reads. I know all the names of tires. I
only knew like two names of tires when this started.
The sponsorship with Tirak, I can now name Brettisteine and
Kumo and all the different kinds of tires that are out.
We die laughing. Still, Rob Parker's still trying to pronounce
(13:19):
most of the tires. Whenever there's a fill in host
for Chris Brussard, Parker says, you go ahead and do
the tire irak reads. Oh yeah, yeah. When I filled
in for Broussard at the Super Bowl, I was the
tire rat guy. Yep, that was that was my gig.
I was mister tire rack. I was like, wow, he
wants me to do the read. That's right kind of
(13:40):
that's a that's a big thing. Uh yeah, yeah, well
Rob should do Nanny is a little radio trickery, That's
what he ought to do, because then you can nail
the commercial if you do that radio trickery. You know,
this is an old radio trick that I'm about to
talk about, and I've heard you do it on your
live radio show. Now. I haven't told any stories about
(14:00):
the classroom recently, and you know, it's been a wet,
rainy wonderland at the school. The kids, I think have
gotten used to it, although one of them told me
last week, is it ever gonna stop raining? And I
told him, yeah, you're gonna look back at this and
you're gonna say, man, that one year I was in
(14:21):
sixth grade, it rained like crazy and there was even
a tornado in La And I said, because you're never
gonna see rain like this again for the rest of
your lifetime if you hang around southern California. So the
room has very much been a warm hiding spot kids
in the morning, you know, they'll come in, shake their
umbrellas off, take their raincode off, and they b line
(14:46):
right to the Wii, right to the video games where
they battled each other every morning. Now I've told the
story about how competitive some of these kids get with
the video games in my morning classroom. Not a super
hard job, but I gotta make sure that there's no
bad language that obviously these kids are all getting along
(15:07):
with each other. And you know, other than that, I
leave them alone. I let them do their thing. As
you know, Ben, when they get to be sixth, seventh,
eighth grade, just kind of be cool with them, let
them have fun. And when you need to interject, you know,
you take action. And with me, I can just give
him a look and they know, oh shit, he heard
(15:29):
what I just said. They'll they'll kind of get in line. Yeah.
But this one girl, and I will change her name
to protect the innocent and the guilty. Let's let's say
her name is give me a girl's name, Daisy, All Daisy,
Let's call her Daisy. She comes in and she has
(15:52):
a grand entrance every single morning. Her backpack is actually
a roller bag, like she is in a hurry at
an airport. She wheels this bag in, slams the door open,
runs with the bag into the classroom, slams the bag
down by one of the desks and says, I'm here, bitches.
(16:19):
But she's going to be a piece of work the
rest of her life. Man, that's not going to change.
That's only gonna get worse. That's too Yeah. So it
is the loudest entrance every morning, and every time she
says bitches, she turns and looks at me because she
knows she shouldn't be saying that as her entrance. But
it's the same thing every morning. So when I see
(16:41):
her or hear her rather entering the classroom, I'm like, oh, man,
here comes Daisy. This nice, relaxed morning is about to
take a turn. Instantly, she's like, give me one of
the controllers. They know her, so they're like, oh, wait,
your turn. You know, I'm almost done with this game.
You could be in line after so and so. And
(17:03):
she's like, yeah, yeah, but I'm a seventh grader. You're
just a little shitty sixth grader. I'm next. Oh boy.
She gets a controller and as she's battling one of
the other kids on this video game, she says, you
stupid homosexual, oh boy, And bet I don't know how
(17:25):
a lot of these kids have been raised, but the
look on their faces was like she said the C word,
blank my, blank and blank you. They all in Unison
turned and looked at me at my desk like she
said the worst word they had ever heard in their lives.
(17:45):
And I said, okay, I know, and she's like, what
what's wrong with that word? She's like, there's nothing wrong
with being homosexual? Is there? And then she turned and
looked at the kids that were offended. So now it's
the old Segnfeld bit, right, not that there's anything wrong
with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I told her,
(18:08):
I said, Daisy, I know I've said this too before,
but find a different way to express yourself. And she's
like all right. And so she continues on playing the
video game and the next time she gets into it
with whoever she was battling on her controller, she says, Ben,
and you're gonna appreciate this an old radio tricks, you
(18:31):
stupid Homo one one thousand two, one thousand, Stapien. That's great.
That's a sharp kid, Now, get Daisy. Yeah, yeah, the
old radio trick. Yeah, you used it for asshole a lot, right, Yeah,
(18:53):
Because I was told you can't say asshole, but you
can't say ass one one thousand and two, one thousand three,
that hole, you can do that. Yeah, and uh oh yeah.
Back in the old days, we used to have such fun.
We would be like, uh, there was a local radio
show in LA that was a hockey show, and the
(19:14):
boss thought it would be funny to call the big pucking'
uh you know, a hockey show or whatever. Well, even
with Eddie, we have a segment on the show we
call puck the world yea, which is it's great because
people hear the word puck and they think of something else.
I don't know what the other word is. And yeah,
so that's always fun. That's it was just I gotta
(19:34):
kick out of it because when she did that pause,
she's gonna be on the radio someday. She just pulled
a radio trick that she didn't even know it was
an old radio trick. That's hilarious. That's funny. That's good.
See the next generation, the generations after us there, they're
continuing the tradition. Danny, I'd love to hear it. So
(19:55):
the swing ship thing real quick, this is not gonna
be a long thing. I just wanted to mention. I
baked a ton of cookies. We talked about. I sent
a fair amount of photos. There were three different types
of cookies that I made. My wife had a Saint
Patti's Day weekend party thing, and so I made some
green frosted cookies. Yeah, they came out pretty good. I
(20:17):
was happy with how they came out. I loved those
ones with the frosty, and that's my go to cookies.
So my wife had a party. Was her family, None
of my you know family was there whatever, So that's fine.
You know, we're through marriage. We're all family. We get
along with everybody at a good time. But I was
on the swing shift, Danny. I I pulled the ultimate
Uncle Benny move, and me and my fellow uncle gentleman
(20:42):
named Chris, we determined that we needed to go down
to the neighborhood park with all the kids. So we
we riled up. We got all the kids together and
there was a pack of four kids and we wandered
down the street, cross a big, big thoroughfare there and
(21:02):
then hung out at the park and trying to keep track.
I can only imagine what you do, Danny at work,
because these are kids that I know, their family, and
there's like a kid over here, a kid over there,
a kid in the back. Like they're all over the place.
They're running wild. Some kids want to be on the
swing set, others want to be playing in the sand.
(21:22):
Then there's a kid on some kind of play set
over here. They're like all over the place. It was nuts,
So I'm trying to keep track. But I did do
the ultimate on the swing shift in order to get
them to take a photo because I was like, this
would be a great photo. These kids are gonna be
all the annoying teenagers and adults soon. So I said,
the way to do. I gotta get a good photo.
(21:44):
So I bartered to deal with them, and I told
them Danny, I said, listen, we're about to leave right now,
but if you take a photo together, you get an
extra thirty minutes. Oh wow. Yeah, And you know, Danny,
on kid time, thirty minutes is a long oh yeah,
a lout of time when you're on kid time. And
(22:06):
so they were like totally cool, and it was It
was great because they I had them all kind of
standing on these rocks sitting. A couple of kids were
sitting on the rocks and my nephew. He was like
pouring sands. So it was he's a little, you know,
a little a little ball of trouble there. So it
was cool. It was a lot of fun. It was
(22:26):
my Now, what a difference right between the equipment they
have on the playground these days and what we had
with those rusted slides and some of those death traps. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
we had. I'll never forget growing up in Irvine. We
had a there was this slide I think it was
(22:47):
Heritage Park and it was this massive thing that you
could tell was probably built with extra construction stuff that
they just had left over, and they're like, we want
to make a park, and so it was this long,
it was this large tower and it had it was
way too high for little kids, but it had chain
link so you couldn't fall through. But it had become
(23:11):
rusted and they had this giant slide and it was
all just it smelled like disgusting bodily fluids and and
that was our That was our playground. That was like
where we hung out. And yeah, now everything's got those
little rubber tire pieces and every safe. Oh dude, everything
(23:33):
is totally safe. No more. I'm looking it up right now.
Jungle gyms, metal slides, log swing, sand pits, rusted seesaws,
ball pits. Remember you try to touch the like the stuff,
and it would your hands would burn from the if
(23:54):
it was during the summer. Yeah, they've even figured out
a way to avoid it from getting too hot. Remember
those things you would ride that had the coils, Yes, yeah,
I remember a kid getting his fingers caught in the coils.
It's nasty. Oh man, there was so much unsafe stuff
(24:15):
at the parks we went to when we were little kids.
Oh yeah, but you know we got hair on our
chest because of that, right true, very true. We landed
on tree bark and got you remember that tree bark
everywhere at these old parks. Oh yeah. And I I
was like, we just run through orange groves and where
(24:36):
I grew up, and we just have orange fights, which
is really awesome when you're a kid and you had
you were in an orange fight, a chucking oranges each other,
like you're Nolan Ryan and you have endless amounts of
oranges like every nuts. Yeah, all on the ground. It's
just it's just amazing. So that's where you got that
thirty mile per hour softball pitch we saw you throw
(24:59):
at the Bakersfield game. Well again, there is more one
more than I learned this as a child. There's more
than one way to peel an orange. There's more one
way to get a batter out. The accuracy and the
deception of the Mallard Bugs, Bunny lollipop efis pitch knuckleball.
(25:19):
It's almost like you're one of the Necro brothers. I
don't know what you're talking about. More like Tom Candiotti,
I would say more like that. Yeah, there are no
knuckleball pitchers left in baseball. What's up with that? You're right,
they're all gone. They've killed the knuckleball pitcher. The nerds
have killed the knuckleball pitcher. That used to be the
(25:40):
thing when I was a kid. And if you were
a pitcher that was kind of a tweener. You couldn't
make it in the major leagues, but you had some ability.
You were kind of in between. They called them a
four A player, where you were better than triple A,
but you weren't good enough for the major leagues. The
two tricks, you remember, the two tricks they would do.
The one of them was the knuckleball. The other one
(26:00):
was they would try to have you throw like either
underhand or sidearm oh side arm yeah, yeah, yeah, try
to make you a sidewinder. And I don't even know
that they do that much anymore. Yeah. I was gonna say,
are there even any sidewinders left? There's no more Dennis
Eckersley's yeah, or even There was a guy named Mark
Korn Do you remember him? Pitched in the eighties. There
(26:26):
were a few guys like that in the in the
eighties and nineties. Yeah, one of the great closers of
that year for the Royals, This guy named Dan Quisenberry.
I haven't heard that name in years. Holy shit. I
actually heard his name a couple weeks ago because we
did a story and I don't know that we mentioned
it on this podcast, but there was a story that
(26:46):
they had determined a bunch of baseball players in the
nineteen eighties died from brain cancer, right, a bunch of
Philadelphia Philly players died of brain cancer, and they were
trying to figure out what had happened. Like there was
this pack of Philly players played the eighties and the nineties,
and they determined the reporter in Philly for the newspaper
(27:07):
that the Inquirer. I think it was they got a
sample of the turf from Veteran Stadium. They sent it
to a lab and they determined that the AstroTurf of
the nineteen eighties had all these chemicals. It was like
the AstroTurf equivalent of asbestos. Yeah, but it gets even
(27:29):
stranger than that, Danny. It only happened to the baseball players.
It didn't happen to the football players. So they were like, well,
wait a minute. The Eagles played there, and nobody on
the Eagles suffered from this. Why is it only a
baseball And so they determined that it had to be
a really hot day and if if it was really
hot in the summer, the chemicals would be released from
(27:52):
the AstroTurf. Yeah. And when they say not to drink
from a water bottle, plastic water bottle when it's been
in the hot sun because the heat can release chemicals, yeah, exactly.
And I talked to my friend Bob Fesco in Kansas City.
He pointed out the Royals in the nineteen eighties, who
(28:12):
used to have really good teams. They had their manager
Dick Howser and Dan Quissenberry both died of cancer, and
they think they don't know for sure, but they think
it's the same thing. They used the same There was
one company that made the AstroTurf back in those days,
and they think that's the same thing that happened. Is
really hot in Kansas City. I don't know if anybody
(28:34):
in the Saint Louis Cardinals. He gets hot in Saint Louis, Cincinnati,
places like that, but pretty wild. Backscratcher, backscratcher. Did we
get any reviews this week? Danny? Did we get zero, one,
two or four? That's quite the range. Yeah, I'm gonna
(28:55):
say two, Danny, come on down. The price is right,
you win, yeah, yeah, well you win the chance to
hear me read the reviews, and you know these are
very serious reviews. This one comes from DJ Hung Well Hung, well,
(29:16):
what's up? Yeah? Yeah, my favorite DJ, the man enjoy Me. Yeah,
he's a DJ on one of the porn sites. Anyway.
He says he heard me on Zabe. He says, get
Zabe on the fifth hour. I loved the crossover. Yeah,
so Steve Zaban before you were at Fox Sports Radio, Danny,
(29:38):
he was our morning guy. Okay, And this goes back
probably thirteen years or so, and we're radio friends. And
Zabe is a big radio star in Milwaukee, and he's
done a lot of stuff in Washington, d C. And
he goes back and forth between those cities and he's
been a long time morning guy and radio guy. And
(29:58):
so he has his own podcast which is a spinoff
of his morning show in Milwaukee, and it's called the Zabecast.
And he didn't he didn't invited me on, and the
schedule didn't really work out. We finally logistically worked everything out,
so I did make a rare and appropriate appearance on
the Zabecast. Had a blast. It's a lot of fun
telling old stories with Steve and talking about some of
(30:20):
the stuff so and Zabe said he's willing to do
it to come on our show. So I do have
to answer DJ Hungwell, I'm sure that's his real name.
I will, Yeah, I will reach out to one of
Zab's burner names. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point.
Next up on the Backscratcher. You scratch our back, We'll
(30:41):
scratch your back. And this is on the Apple podcast page.
If you look at the description of the podcast on
the main podcast page you're looking at on your device,
It's very simple, and this is the thing that management checks,
so it's a simple way. All you have to do
is spend a couple of minutes filling out a quick review.
(31:01):
And can you can even put a silly name in there,
like DJ Hung, Well, it doesn't matter and that helps
us out. Flagstaff Mike writes in he says five year
teas the headline what wonderful shows. I listen to every
podcast of the Ben Mallow Show in the fifth hour
along with Danny g I have to because I'm waiting
(31:22):
for Ben to finish a five year tease about Darryl
Strawberry's reaction to La being surrounded by fire. He says,
I happen to see that interview live. Very funny. That's
from Flagstaff, Mike. Will you just keep listening, Mike, and
at some point, at some point, we will make your
(31:42):
dreams come true. Man, Now that is a professional radio tease. Yeah,
just five years. You gotta leave it. You gotta leave
them hanging a little bits. What you gotta do? All right,
pop goes the culture A little time for popcos of
the culture, and that means Ohio owl All right, thanks
(32:12):
Ohio al. And what do you know about Beethoven. You
know anything about Beethoven? Yeah, I saw that movie back
in the day when we were little kids. Earth We're
looking dog Beethoven, the the other Beethoven. Uh. It turns
out they for some reason went back and analyzed Beethoven's DNA,
(32:32):
the first ever analysis of Beethoven's DNA, and they have
answered the mystery of how Beethoven died. See this, You
want to take a guess what caused bee Beethoven, the
legendary musician, all these years later that here we are
and we're still talking about Beethoven. We talk about music,
(32:55):
the Spanish flu. Uh yeah, No, So scientist had deciphered
from Beethoven's genome from locks of his hair that he
drank himself to death. Oh yeah, I should have thought
of it. He is a musician, after all, the legendary
(33:15):
composer had liver disease and hepatitis B, which were made
worse by his heavy boozing. So Beethoven was an alcoholic,
a functioning alcoholic who knew. And it's like if Paul
and Rhode Island could compose music, if he could compose
a phone call, that would be nice. Also, right, that
(33:39):
would be solid well, here's something that's right out of
a Star Wars or Star Trek type film. An alien
mothership lurking in our Solar system could be watching us
with tiny probes, according to what science fiction magazine? How
about a Pentagon official. Ooh, a Pentagon official say what? Yeah? Yeah,
(34:09):
a draft paper by a Harvard scientist had the head
of the Pentagon's UFO office has has raised the idea
of an alien mothership that could be in the Solar
system right now, sending out tiny probes dubbed dandelion seeds
to explore the planets. Went in, how about that? You
(34:33):
think you think this is something? And you think this
guy just did like ayahuasca with Aaron Rodgers and Joe Rogan.
I don't know that's quite the story to make up
out of thin air. Yeah, this comes from Harvard University
and it has Sean M. Kirkpatrick, director of the Pentagon's
All Domain Anomaly Resolution Office. Boy, that's a mouthful. A
(35:00):
a ro O established in July of twenty twenty two
by the Department of Defense the d D to direct
and study objects of interest, and they released the draft
earlier this month. It is not though an official Pentagon document,
but was carried out in partnership with the Department of Defense,
(35:24):
and they say it has not been pure reviewed. But
that's pretty wild. This says aliens would likely want to
explore rocky planets with an atmosphere in the soul. How
you know this? Okay, So they don't think the probes
are like gonna go inside humans. I don't think they're
gonna go up your exit only. I don't think you
have to worry about that. They are tiny. They are
(35:47):
tiny probe, so it might not hurt. Oh man, I
just took a big old probe. I understand, I understand.
I think we're good on that. Right, We're we're up
against the shitty way to end the show. It is
definitely a shitty way to end the show. It is Saturday, Danny,
anything specially you've got going on, anything you want to
promote here. I've got a baby shower that I've been
(36:10):
invited to. I'm very excited about that, Danny. I gotta
tell you, make sure you dominate those games at the
baby shower. Cannot wait. Will there be any games involving
male genitalia? I do not know. I do not for
our baby shower coming up in a couple of months.
I told my wife, I said, make sure you include
(36:32):
a game where you put a whole bunch of crunchy
peanut butter inside disposable diapers. Oh, that's a good idea,
and then you could What you should do is just
have an inside joke and then you like say, I'll
take care of that, and then you eat it. They
want the people at the party. We're like, ohoa, man,
that's disgusting. Oh I'm not even invited to her party.
(36:53):
Her party is going to be women only. I don't
understand how I'm invited to this. I thought I thought
baby shower just supposed to be women all. Yeah, there's
co ed ones and then there's ones where it's just
the girls. Racist. She wanted to kind of keep it
simple because I started booking a DJ, and I was
gonna get like the dance floor you put together and
(37:16):
you know, we're gonna bust out the caterpillar and the
running man and all that. It started getting complicated. She said,
you're out of this. It's all girls. Yeah, you just
do You could do like the rain Dance, remember the race.
What do you got going on today? Though? I got
that going on? What do you got going on day? Oh,
it's a simple Saturday for me. I am still working
(37:36):
on Danny G Radio row Now. I cleaned a lot
of the garage. You can't see it from your vantage
point through our cameras here. But now that I've organized
and cleaned, I need to buy a desk and start
getting my workspace put together. Now, may I recommend offer
(37:56):
Up and the free section. You'd be shocked at the
kind of stuff you can get. You just have to
have a truck to take it. Actually, the debt. One
of the desks I have here in my in my
studio I got for fifty bucks off offer Up. Nice
great desk. It's like a you know, seven eight hundred
dollars desk you have for fifty bucks. So great minds
(38:17):
think alike. I was on that site last weekend looking around. Yeah,
you'll find something, for sure. You gotta act fast though,
that's the problem. I'll give you that stuff's not there.
If it's good, it's gone pretty quick. So I will
get out on that and don't forget the mail bag
on Sunday, have a great rest of the day and
enjoy the college hoops and the last weekend without real
(38:41):
major League Baseball until late October. I guess yeah, pretty well, anyway,
we'll catch you next time. Thank you, Austa Pasta bafolation
Host
Ben Maller
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