April 9, 2023 • 41 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. deliver mail bag fun for your Sunday! All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a
clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The
(00:22):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now, nine in
the air. Everywhere. The Fifth Hour main bang, hanging out,
blabbing away all weekend long, because four hours a night
or not at off we do eight days a week,
(00:43):
eight days a week. We are hanging out with you
here in the audio dojo, and it's a big Sunday extravagance.
We've got the mail bag. But before we get to
the mail bag, originally I think we're gonna do this
on Friday, and then we're gonna do on a set today,
and we've got to do it right now. We need
to get scientifical, is what we need to do, and
(01:06):
time shifted it for ratings purposes exactly exactly. So let's
get into the science world. These are actual stories that
cut our attention and in honor of Penn and Teller,
these old comedians who used to have a TV show
that was called Bullshit. We will determine whether we believe
this stuff or we think it's bullshit. Here's a story
(01:30):
that was sent in by Alf the Alien opiner from Springfield,
mass says, the dogs of Chernobyl are experiencing rapid evolution
according to or the henines have acquired big subheadline strange
mutations because they live near Chernobyl. And so the studies
(01:57):
people have been science has been there trying to study
all these things. A new study analyzed the DNA of
three hundred two feral dogs living near the power plant,
compared the animals to others living ten miles away and
found amazing differences. And so the study does not prove
that radiation is the cause of these things, but it provides,
(02:20):
they say, the first step in analyzing what's going on.
So this Chernobyl thing all the way back to nineteen
eighty six, when that happened April of nineteen eighty six
and the meltdown and all that happened there, and here
we are forty almost forty years later, and they're still
(02:45):
figuring out what's going on. Nobody can live in that area.
It's all messed up. But they've got feral dogs, a
bunch of other animals. These are the descendants of pets
left behind when everyone was trying to get out of
Chernobyl because the thing exploded and all that, and so
they went through us in the they're in the Chernobyl
(03:06):
exclusion zone. They say it's the size of Yosemite National Park.
And it's all about trying to figure out the what
happens when you're exposed to radiation, how it has altered
the DNA of these animals. And they say, even speeding
(03:27):
up evolution, is that a bad thing or a good thing?
Maybe that's a good thing. That could be a good thing, right.
Maybe it sounds creepy, Yeah, it does, it does it?
As they started examining the DNA three hunder two feral
dogs found around that area, and the New York Times
(03:48):
had a story on this. They dug into it, and
they're trying to figure out exactly what's going on. They've
been analyzing all kinds of animals. They're including rodents, birds
and whatnot, but this is focusing on dogs. And from
the sounds of this, it sounds like they think that
(04:08):
the as I said, the mutations are taking place. Things
are being sped up that aren't supposed to be sped up,
or maybe they are supposed to be sped up and
we don't know about it. Well, that's interesting. Next up
from the from the ocean, the Immortal jellyfish. They found
scientists that found a jellyfish they claim that can practically
(04:30):
turn back time. They're they're saying that they're going to
use what this jellyfish does and they hope to bring
this to the human world and that will benefit from this.
Of course, chances of that happening are slim and none.
But these these jellyfish, they do not die a natural
(04:51):
death they age, but instead they return to infancy. So
instead of dying, they just returned infancy. How crazy is that?
Like Benjamin Button, Yeah, they're trying to figure out how
they do that. It was an interesting story I checked out,
so if you're interesting that you can you can check
(05:12):
it out. And there's a bunch of stories on science
platforms about aging. Can humans stop the aging process? They
there's one report that says humans can stop but not
fully reverse aging. So there's there's that report, and then
(05:33):
there's another report that says that you know, by twenty
thirty you'll be able to to create like an an
avatar of yourself, And so some wild tales out there
in the science world. I think we'll leave that alone.
There were some other stories, but I want to get
(05:54):
to the mailbag. Danny g Let's do it. That's what
Sundays are famous for. It's okay, Ohio, al thank you
(06:15):
yet again? First up on the mailback, Mike in Fullerton
rights and he says, Hey, Bannon, Danny Gee, I have
a few questions on radio caller etiquette. He says, Is
it more annoying for a caller to talk over you
or leave dead air? With slow responses? He says, even
though you always have a snarky response, ready, would you
(06:38):
be fine with never being asked? How are you doing? Ever? Again?
Is that worst way to start a call? So I
answer that one first. It is a terrible way to
start a call. But it's what everyone does. Everyone does.
They all do this. It's like how you doing? It's
like you don't know what to do and you get nervous,
(07:00):
and so it's a natural reaction. And it's like why
we say the word hello? They could have we talked
about this on the podcast. I don't know, maybe with you, Danny.
I don't maybe before you were on the podcast. But originally,
when the phone was invented, they had to come up
with a way so somebody on the other line when
(07:21):
you called somebody and you were talking, what the introduction
would be, and they decided on hello. The other option
was a hoy. They were considering saying a hoy yeah,
and that was under consideration. It is an awkward thing,
and I get asked more on the radio how am
I doing than anywhere else in life. Do you get
asked anywhere else, Danny, how are you doing today? No?
(07:44):
I mean because customer service is pretty shitty nowadays at stores,
at restaurants ever since COVID. It seems like so we
don't really hear that that often the one thing that's
a pet peeve is and not. This doesn't really apply
to your show because a lot of your callers are
regular callers that everybody knows. But on like Covino and Rich,
(08:06):
where it's random callers from different cities, I'll scream the call.
Ramos has it pretty loud in the studio. So I'm
doing the very best I can to hear the caller,
but I type it as Tom in Arkansas, and when
he gets on the air, he corrects the hosts and
he's like, it's Tom, not Tom. Yeah, your name could
(08:30):
be fruit loop. It doesn't matter. To the point, Well,
to that person, the sweetest sound in the language is
the name of you know, their voice, the name I
should say in your voice and whatever. But I know
I get another pet peeve of caller etiquette for Mike
and fuller to no relation to furg dog at all,
(08:52):
no relation to furg dog at all. Another pet peeve
is I was talking to your screener. That is That
is a pippie because the magic, part of the magic
of radio is that it's that's the conversation. No one
knows what happens off the air. So if you're referencing
(09:12):
I was talking to your screener, that's that's that's not
to me, that's a pain in the in the behind,
because you're like, you're ruining the whole magic. Nobody heard that.
That's a private conversation. You don't need to share every
private conversation, understand you know what I mean? Danny, And
let me preface this by saying, I love the callers
(09:34):
that participate in the topics, but don't tell me your
whole story. To your point, Ben, save it for on air.
That's something we tell each other a lot in the hallways.
When we start laughing about something, you'll hear someone say
save it for on air, save it, save it for
on air. And when I screen the calls, I'll say,
(09:55):
what's your name, what's your city? Thank you for calling?
Which topic are you calling in about? And that's all
you gotta answer. It's just, Oh, I'm calling about the
Costco clothes you guys were talking about. Okay, great, And
I type that in on the screen so the guys
can see what you're calling about. But what I get is, well,
you guys were talking about Costco clothes. And let me
(10:16):
tell you. You know, when I go there with my
wife and I'm sitting there and there's no nice way
for me to interrupt and get off that line, but
all the other lines are ringing, and it's like that
scene in Jerry McGuire where all the other lines start
disappearing because he's on the one call. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(10:39):
hear yeah, it's save it for on air. You're like
trying to herd cats or something like that when you're
you're doing that with the phones. And Mike also says,
what do you both think is the most common reason
you'd say a call was a bad call? All of
the above everything we've talked about two And to go
(11:01):
back to the first point you the first question you asked, Mike,
I would much rather have someone talk over me than
be half half there where they're not even paying attention.
That's that's bad. That's I'd rather have you sleeping where
I can hear you snore than where you're you're kind
of there but you're not really there, or you're you're
(11:23):
having a conversation with someone else. That's also a paint
in the behind, or any of the slow responses and
all that. Next up on the mailback, John in Northern
Colorado says, do you guys ever argue with your lady
over the proper loading of the dishwasher? Yeah? So, we
we have discussed this in the past as things go
(11:45):
flying here in the studio, but we have discussed in
the past. I am the dishwasher at the mallor mansion,
and I handle that my my wife. The reason I'm
the dishwasher is my wife used to be the dishwasher
and the food would It was insane how much food
was at the bottom of the dishwasher. And so I
decided I made an executive decision because it was one
(12:06):
of the most disgusting things I'd ever seen, because my
wife thought it was like out of the jetsins or something.
You just put it in there and it cleans everything
and you don't have to wash off the dishes at all,
and it was really bad. They were like peas and
macaroni and spaghetti at the bottom of the dishwasher. Was disgusting.
Good now that, yeah, that's gross. I mean the dishwasher
(12:27):
is basically just to polish off the job. You are
supposed to clean the dishes yourself and then put them
in there so when I load the dishwasher there is
no food evidence whatsoever. Yeah, it's a sanitized thing. The
dishwasher is really hot sanitizes, but you got to wash
it before and yeah, you're exactly, it's like the final
the final push. Next up on the mail bag Frank
(12:52):
Rights and from part zon on he says, what's the
best or doors or doors orders and that you've had
it a mine was grilled cheese with shots of tomatoes
soup at my cousin's wedding. Wow, that sounds good. Yeah,
that is pretty good. I've had some decent wedding appetizers.
(13:12):
I love those little mini tacos. Those mini takidos are
pretty good. About the little pigs in a blanket not bad,
not bad. Mini corn dogs which is the pick corn
on the top, that's not bad at all. I like
that Terryoki on a stick, Teryoki all piece of teryoki,
chicken on the sticks to go to. I don't mind that.
(13:35):
I'm trying to think those are usually the go to Eddie.
When Eddie got married, he made sure my meal was
chicken fingers, which was very nice because he knew I
didn't want to eat wedding food like that rubber chicken.
At the wedding his wife, Karen and Eddie they made
sure that I had the kid's menu, but I had
an adult portion. My lips have been on it, so
(13:57):
that was that was pretty nice. Thanks for that, Frank
Nick in Wisconsin right since its banning Danny Gee, if
you have your choice, are you choosing traditional toilet paper
or would you rather have a bidet? I cannot wait
for the Minnesota meet and greet will Thank you, Nick.
I'm looking forward to meeting you May twentieth. Let me
(14:18):
know if you're interested in purchasing one of those shirts
that I'll I'll have. Maybe I already have it up.
I don't know this weekend here. So to answer Nick's question,
I have become a fan of the bidet, Danny, I
gotta tell you, really, Yeah, something I never thought I
would be a fan of. I feel very clean with
(14:41):
the bidet. I I don't like that feeling though, of
wetness there right. I wish that there was a better
way to dry. The drying process is the problem. But
you can you can use both. You could do the
bidet and then it's much like we just we just
talked about. Yeah, the dishwashers the closer, So you could
(15:02):
argue the bidet is the main event, and then the
closer to come into Mariano Rivera to close out the
ninth inning would be just a little piece of toilet paper.
I might as well just stick to what I already
do is the baby wipes, Daddy. Yeah, but you're not
even to flush the baby wipes. You're not supposed to
flush it because it destroys the plumbing in your house. Oh,
(15:22):
I destroy everybody's plumbing. Okay, all right. I used to
do that too, and then I got a lecture. There's
a brand or two where they have proven that they
will not back up plumbing. So go with those two brands.
I don't know but that I'm a little some cheap
costco kind though. That yeah, boy, that Kirkland brand that'll
(15:43):
back up an entire hotel. You wash your mouth out
with soap and water. Next up on the mail bag,
let's see here. I think this is from our buddy
in Phoenix, and he says, what games did you have
on your cell phone? Or what which do you recommend?
(16:05):
Are you playing any games on your cell phone? I
think that's the question. You do want any gaming, Danny
right now? On the phone? Anything stand out there? You know,
I only have one game on my cell phone, and
it is that Airplane game nineteen forty two. That's your game,
that's your that's the game. That's the go to game
(16:27):
when I'm waiting in a long line to pick up food.
So to answer the question, I have also like you,
we're very similar in that regard. I have one game
at a time that I play a lot of and
the game right now that I play is let me,
let me get it up for you here, giggy, I've
(16:47):
this button here, and my go to game is scrabble.
I'm a I'm a big scrabble guy. That was by
the way, Lee, our buddy Lee in the Valley of
the Sun. At least he's a good guy. And yeah,
so I I play scrabble, and I usually play a
game until I get burned out on I played Tetris.
(17:08):
Has been my game before Solitaire, but now currently now
it's scrabble, scrabble, scrabble, scrabble, scrabble. What else we have?
Fred in Spring Texas writes in on the mail bag.
He says, Hey, guys, do either of you have mementos
you keep that remind you of your parents or your grandparents?
He says, really enjoy the show, thank you? Fred. Yes, yes, absolutely,
(17:32):
both my parents were gone unfortunately, so I have photos
and you know, pretty much everything from my youth that
my parents were involved in. I have a few things
spread around the house to remind me of the good
times with my mom and my dad, and so absolutely
I have I have several things around there. Anything for
(17:53):
your your grandparents, Danny, anything you want to you know,
share that you have. Yeah, my grandfather left me a
really cool it's like this little Bentley leather bag. He
held his pipe in it. That's how old school it is.
Smoke weed every day. Oh that's cool. There you go,
(18:14):
all right, very good. Next up we have ozzywas from
Western Australia, he writes, and he says, high mates, Benny
the Bopper and microphone throttler. My question for this week
have you ever had to wear a uniform for a
job or a particular event for work? Just my items
of no choice for work are a high is long
(18:36):
pants and shirt with reflective tape, steel cap boots and
a hard hat. Says Ozzy was out in Australia, so
not really working in radio. I've had to wear like
station gear at events and that's a that's about it.
And when I did stuff with the Dodgers, you had
to wear nice clothes on the plane. You had to
(18:58):
dress up for that. But not that's not wearing steel
cap boots. What about No, you're right, our entire careers
have boiled down to staff t shirts. Yes, and photo
occasionally photoshoots with jackets and sers. And things like that.
But that's about it. Yeah, that's about it. Let's see.
(19:21):
Next up, we have Callaghan Tim from Sturgis, Michigan. He says, hey, guys,
I grew up in Los Angeles. I moved to Michigan
when I was thirty, so that's how I got Callaghan Tim.
I used to watch the King's practice in the morning.
He's selling some stories here. Get a bunch of stories
about the Kings and the Lakers. Anybody on the Clippers
is a half of what Kobe Bryant is. And he
(19:45):
told the story about Phil Jackson almost running him over
at the Laker facility. He told the story about Isaiah
Ryder and the real reason he got suspended. So there
are some interesting stories there. He says he would go
hang out and Phil was flying in the parking lot
one time, and he says, as he was walking, this guy,
(20:05):
Callaghan Tim, was walking across the lane in the parking lot.
The back end of Phil Jackson's poor slid out of
control and he says Tim, he had to dive into
a bush. He landed on his head, his feet. Tim says,
we're up in the air everywhere, and he said, Phil Jackson,
(20:26):
this Endmaster rolled down his window and says, sorry, buddy.
And then the guy opened the gate at the Laker
facility and he floored it into the gated area away
from the unwashed. So that would have been quite if
Phil Jackson had run over Callighan Tim, that would have
been a big story at the time. Yeah. Yeah. And
(20:47):
Tim also says he says, I've emailed you guys a
few weeks ago about what I do while I'm listing,
and I told you. Tim says that when the weather
is nice, I have three acres tomorrow. I remember this
guy three acres the mos Some of my property is woods.
Danny g asked if I can if he can live here,
(21:07):
I asked for an anchor. Yeah, he says, I can
build him a house in the back of my property.
So he's offering to build you a house if you
want to live in Sturgis, Michigan. Danny Tim says he will.
He will build you a little house in the back
of his property. He says, Danny, are you good with
three bedroom, two bath. Just a warning, he says, we
(21:27):
have deer, raccoons, possums, squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, and a bobcat.
We call Frank. He's kind of an asshole, but he
keeps all the small animals at bay. He just leaves
the head the heads in the yard. And he said,
we have a lake that's a two minute walk from
(21:48):
the property. It sounds beautiful. And Kid Rock taught us
that Michigan is beautiful in the summertime. So if it's free,
it's for me. I'm down Sturgis, Michigan. You're right there, Danny, You,
you and the Missis can have a nice summer home.
Let's go a summer cabin with a bobcat. What's not
(22:09):
to like? Now, do you know where Sturgiss is in Michigan.
Let's do a little fun facts with Sturgis Michigan. Here Sturgis,
Michigan is located. Oh oh yeah, I'm looking. It's it's
on the It's just north of the Michigan Indiana border,
so it's right. It's on the lower part of Michigan.
(22:30):
It's it's got I eighty and ninety, the Indiana Toll
Road right there. It's got its own airport railroad. It's
sister cities with Westloch Germany. Weisloch Germany, Weisloch Germany. Did
you know it's known as the Electric City. Oh is
(22:51):
that right? Due to their High Joe Electric Dam, which
dates back to the early days of the community. The
city owned atric department has served the Sturgis area since
the city's inception in eighteen ninety six. I will one
up you. How about this as a fun fact for Sturgis, Michigan.
(23:12):
I'll leave the light on for you. Tom Boett, Tom
Bodett was raised in Sturgis, Michigan. Wow, oh my, yeah,
it's a fun fact. Yeah, but wait, there's more. Verne Troyer.
(23:32):
Verne Troyer. He grew up right near Sturgis in Centerville, Michigan.
He's not around anymore though. He died. Yeah, he passed away,
that little dude, right, yeah, yeah, he was in the
mini He was Mini me, right, was it? Yeah? He
was Mini me? Yeah yeah, all right, yeah, thank you
(23:53):
for that Callighan Tim good stories, Alfie alien Opina, Right,
since says waiting by the phone for my call from
the Basketball Hall of Fame? Guy, is there an item
that is on your wish list that you can't afford
but you would feel guilty buying. It's possibly something that
you'd be more likely to pull a trigger on if
you were a single anything pop up there, Danny, I
(24:18):
don't really have anything. I don't I don't really need
that much stuff. And yeah, I feel like when I
need something, I kind of get it. I'm not really
having a midlife crisis like I need to go out
get something. So I think I'm good. Yeah, my wife
is pretty cool with you know, things that I liked
that I want to get. Like when I was shopping
for my car, she could have been bitchy about the
(24:40):
price or the kind of fast car I like or wanted.
But her attitude is whatever makes you happy, whatever makes
you smile. It's a cool thing to have in a
significant other. You still need to finish off my car, Ben,
because I don't have tinted windows yet, and I want
to get a performance muffler put in. And yeah, so
(25:01):
you add a few things. I was I was shocked
about how expensive it is to get professional window tinting
on a car. Yeah, it's gone up the past decade.
What a what a hustle. I should get into that business.
I think I could do it. I think I could
do window tin and you know, there's have the reach.
Yeah I got to read, but there's multiple versions of wind.
I didn't know this until we were investigating window tin.
(25:23):
So there's a couple of ways to do it. You
can you can get window tin, which you have to
replace in like five years or a couple of years,
and then you can spend a thousand dollars on window
tin and then it's supposed to last the life of
the window on the car. Yeah, that's a lot of
dough right. There used to be two hundred dollars specials
(25:46):
that you would drive past, remember, yes, yes, uh? And
can you can you do it yourself? Would you want
to do it yourself? Day? Would you be willing to
do window tint yourself? No? No? And in fact, my
certified new is that what it is, certified used car
that I bought. One of the only things wrong on
(26:08):
the outside of the car is you could tell it
must have been a female driving it. Sexist the passenger side.
The rims are scraped. Oh okay, now that's the old meme,
the old joke, that meme that says Happy National Women's
Day and it shows a rim that's all tore up
from the curb, tore up from the curb up. We
(26:30):
love you women, But yeah, some don't know how to
park against a curb. They what do they call it?
Curb rash? I bought something on Amazon to fix it.
But it's this whole thing. I didn't realize. It's all
these different steps you have to take. It's like putty.
You have to let it dry and then you have
to sand it. Ain't nobody got time for that. No,
(26:52):
that's that's not that is not realistic. Ma, Man, that
ain't gonna work. Mama. We got busy lives, you got
radio the new Yeah, man, come on and it says
let it sit for five hours and then come back
and sand it. Yeah. I got five hours to work
off and wait for some putty to dry exactly. Terry
from England writes in on the Mailbag. He says, how
(27:13):
many miles do you have to go or dude, to
get to the studio now, Ben, compared to how far
the old mallor Mansion was. Well, Danny, you've been to
both the old and the new mallor Mansion, so you
know it is much further to get the current mallor Mansion.
I don't know the mile. I just think it's more
about the time. I'm very lucky I work when I do.
If I had worked during the day, I think I
(27:35):
would I would buy a helicopter. It's a it's a
it's a freaking uh poop fest. But it's it's much
further away, Terry, It's probably what do you think, two
hours in traffic? Yeah, two hours in traffic. Where I
lived before I could's there was a lot of traffic,
but it's at least an hour further from where I
was prior to where I'm at now. Cup fan Mike
(27:58):
writes in from Fort Wayne, any Anna. He says, Hey, guys,
what was your favorite spring break location when you were
growing up? So I didn't do spring break that much, Danny,
but Vegas. Everyone loved going to Vegas, even though we
weren't old enough to actually gamble. Just like hanging out
in Vegas was cool and Palm Springs was also popular
(28:21):
in San Diego, those like the Big Three? Did I
recall what about you, Danny not to be a party pooper,
but I did not a for spring break. I was working.
I jumped right into the workforce. I was working at
an FM radio station when I was sixteen years old. Yeah,
I just want to point out I went to Vegas
(28:42):
a few times, but I also started I started radio
when I was nineteen, so I didn't really get to
enjoy the full college spring break situation. I did go
to saddleback for a little bit, but then I quickly
moved on to other things. Mark from Parts Unknown right
Scene says Ben and Danny, Gee, I've been listening to
The Mallard Show on the podcast since approximately twenty twelve.
(29:06):
And yeah, I've downloaded all four hours and all of
the fifth hour as well. Thank you, Mark, I appreciate that.
And he says A great documentary called he recommends is
the Super Bob Einstein movie on HBO. It's the funniest
(29:26):
documentary I've ever seen. He says, thank you all there.
I love super Daves Delivery. Yeah, I actually have seen that.
That is a solid documentary. It's not in my top
documentary standings. You know my top documentaries. I have Operational Odessa, Mark,
you should watch Operational Odessa, Super Mensch, Supersize Me Too,
(29:51):
The Dark Side, and mcmillions. Those are my very top documentaries.
Mcmillions was at the no which one was the was it? Pepsi?
The Pepsi, the jet the Jet Fighter. That one was
good too. I did like that one. Get the name
of that, but that was really good. Yeah, that one's
(30:13):
pretty solid. Mcmillions was the one where the guys that
the family was scamming the McDonald's contest, so they were here. Yeah,
that's right. It's it's kind of similar to the Pepsi
jet Fighter one. Yeah. Yeah, the jet Fighter one had
Michael Avanadi on it. It was a Netflix show, right
it wasn't? Yes, yes, yeah, that was. That was pretty
good too. I should I should add that to my
(30:35):
I don't have a list, as you know, Danny, I
don't believe in list, but I have Big Ben's Big Board,
which is much different. It was called Pepsi. Where's my
jet Oh? Okay, yeah that was That was really good too.
And next up is Noah from Austin. He says, howdy,
Gent's Sunday mail bag, my birthday. Happy Easter by thele
That's right, it's Easter, says. My question to you and
(30:59):
Danny g is if you could both start your radio
careers over, what would you have done differently? It's from Noah,
So you want to go first to any any changes
you would make to the road. I would have picked
a different night to invite my young lady friend into
the main control room is a lot of meat. When
(31:22):
I was man, I must have been eighteen, and I
had a friend come into the studio, and little did
I know, the general manager of the station was going
to be showing up late that night dropping off the
station van. Oh and yeah, he apparently saw what I
was doing through the window. And then I got called
(31:45):
into the principal's office the next day, and let's just
say it was a very embarrassing meeting for me and
to this day. And I did wonderful things for that company,
awesome number one ratings. So this day I see that
general manager of mine. He now runs radio stations up
in Portland and Seattle. And what's the one story he
(32:07):
tells everybody when he's introducing me around. Tell them about
the awesome ratings and the awesome promotions and contests that
I came up with on the air. No, he tells
them about that one night he got to the station
and I was up to no good. You were making
whoopee you were you were giving up close and personal
(32:27):
exam of the radio station and uh and all the other.
But yeah, no, I was. All I was doing was
showing her how to change the meter readings. Oh there
you go. Yeah you were. You were pointing things out
to her, is what you were? I got you, I
got you, I got you all right. Next to answer
your question, though, happy Birthday by Is this a cheap
way for you to get a birthday shout out? Is
(32:48):
that what you're doing on the Sunday mail bag? How? Yeah,
it does. But happy birthday and and and he did
a Cadbury egg from I love those Cadbury eggs. Happy Birthday.
You do not look a day over sixty. Yeah, exactly.
So I wouldn't change anything in my radio career other
than the fact that I was very paranoid that I
wasn't gonna make it. And I had a very traumatic
(33:12):
experience in San Diego when I started out, because the
program director was a bit of a douche and in
the end of any of every year, they would lay
a bunch of people off and he would he was
the kind of guy. He was like a big vomit
guy from Howard Stern, where he'd be like, Hey, he
didn't care about board ops or producers. I can go
(33:33):
down to the train station in San Diego and I
can get board ops if I need I don't, you know,
like that kind of thing, yeah, BC, Yeah, it was that.
It was that kind of vibe. And it was like,
you know, guys would go on vacation at the end
of December and they'd never come back and they thought
they were going on vacation, and then that was that
(33:54):
was that, and that was unfortunate. But other than that,
I think we are all a product of all the
things that happened got us to this point. I'm a
big believer in that. So all together, things worked out.
It's been a good career in radio. If it ends today,
so be it. But it's been a good run and
I don't I don't think I would change anything. And
unlike Danny G, I was not I was not spending
(34:17):
quality time with listeners, at least not at the radio
station who said she was a listener. Oh probably not. Oh.
I had an old program director and he used to say,
if we're number one in the ratings, everybody is a listener.
There you go, there you go, You're all number Jeffrey
Rights and from many says, some great people up here
(34:39):
in Maine, Bend and Danny G. They made this big
old ice circle thing on a frozen lake that six
football fields freaking wide. He says it's not as big
as Lizzo's dinner plate, but impressive. Nonetheless, all right, this
guy's got jokes. Lame jokes are on Friday, sir, not
on the mail bag. Bad job by you. Back back
(35:00):
from Maine. Jay Bone from Portland, Maine says, if you
put your podcast on, then play two times the speed
when the boys are fighting. He talks about game shows,
Laker Clipper fights. Hearing everyone yelling so fast is funny,
he says, not a question, just a suggestion. Okay, you're
(35:24):
talking about your live show. Yeah, but you can also
on this podcast. We don't really fight on this podcast,
but I will point out we get the same credit
on the podcast. They don't know whether you're listening fast
forwarding or not, right, so it doesn't really matter at us.
You know. Somebody at work, though, did tell me that
when they do listen back to the podcast, they listen
(35:46):
at one and a half speed, so the voices are
slightly fast, but not chipmunk fast. But that would bug me.
I don't want to hear somebody's voice it sped up.
It's like when I hear your voice on a commercial
and they need to edit you down because your commercial
read was too long. So it's like Ben Maller, but
(36:09):
the chipmunk version of Ben Mallard. Are you saying? I
don't sound like that when I'm speed reading. I don't
sound or Ben Maller when he was twenty two years old,
because that's what you sounded like back then. I don't
know if Royals are having their problems on the road,
Royals having their problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallock.
(36:32):
I was right. I said that twenty years ago, and
today the Royals are still having their problems on the road.
Nothing has changed any more than that in my lifetime
unless it has it. The Royals are always having their
problems on the road. Greg writes in he says, who
would win a steelcage match? Blair or Marcel? You know
who would win that match? The people watching the match,
(36:53):
they're the ones that would win the match. But I
would give Blair the edge. Marcel's physically more dominant. From
what I don't I've never met Marcel. I've met Blair.
Blair's he's not the biggest cat in the zoo. But
Marcel would have a physical advantage, but Blair, I think
would have a slight technique advantage in bobbing and weaving.
(37:15):
Marcel would just stand there and say, motombo him, motombo him,
block him that. I'm pretty sure that's how that would
go down. A bell listener, Bell writes, and she's in Tennessee.
She says, guys, if you were single, would you date
a woman with a full body tattoo? Who? So, Bell,
(37:40):
I'm not. I'm not a tattoo guy. I did when
I was dating I. I know, beggars can't be choosers.
So I did date some some young ladies that have tattoos,
but I I never I don't know full body. That's
a a little tough like. I don't mind a little
bit here, a little bit there, maybe on the ankle back.
When I was dating Danny, very popular tattoo was on
(38:03):
the lower back. That was the quote unquote tramp stamp. Yeah.
Is that still popular these days? I don't know. I'm
not up on the tattoo world these days. No, the
ladies they have nicer tattoos these days in lots of
other places on their bodies. Yeah, okay. Remember also, we're
(38:27):
around the same age. Danny did the barbed wire tattoo?
Remember that? Oh god, those did not age well. Shocking
they did not age. Ask Jonas Knox go hard on
a guy? Oh does he he's got a barbed wire
He even makes fun of it himself. He's like, I
don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why
(38:47):
I did it, but it did not age well at all. Um,
there are I like when women have tattoos on one side,
so maybe like half a sleeve on one side, but
when they have tattoos on both sides of their bodies,
it looks too manly to me. But I do think
it's feminine and nice when it's on one side of
(39:08):
their body. Everything in moderation, even moderation should be in moderation.
I think that's all we have time for a manic
Mike and Steve and Joe and all you other yahoo's.
I apologize, but we can't go on forever. We have
things to do, places to hang out and whatnot. It's
Easter Sunday, Passover festivity is still going on and all
(39:31):
that good stuff. Eat the mazza today. It's early Sunday
morning right now, so my chick is probably downstairs hiding
eggs on the balcony. Okay, you just well, the kids
don't listen to a podcast. Nah, they're old now. Anyway,
her kids are older now, So I mean, we just
got the twelve year old. But the twelve year old
(39:52):
doesn't think there's a bunny hopping around laying eggs. No. Oh,
and this blast Christmas was the first time she was like, Mom,
are you serious? Mom? And you know, if there is
a kid listening right now, they don't even know what
I'm talking about, but you do because we're not in
(40:14):
the business of spoiling things for anybody. But yeah, she
is just like, Mom, I can't believe you did that.
She's just so put off by the whole thought of
you know what her mom did? Yeah, ready to be
all grown up, ready to Yeah. Yeah, But you know what, Ben,
(40:34):
they don't turn the candy back in today, They're gonna
find the candy and they're gonna be like little kids again. Exactly. All.
I have a great day today. I'll be back live radio,
old school radio oviating all night long. You can check
that out live on Fox Sports Radio from Hawaii to
(40:56):
Maine and Canada and all over the world, and the
American Forces Network so check out the band Mallard show.
We start eleven o'clock in the West on Sunday night,
that would be tonight, and then at two am on
Monday morning in the East as we head into a
brand's spanking new weekend. We'll we'll catch you then. Yeah,
(41:17):
Sunday nights, I'm up late. That's usually when I hear
you on your live show. There you go. I'll be
barking away about some nonsense and some Aaron Rodgers story
or Jackson or god only knows what. Yeah, the big
announcement about him buying crystals. That is a preview of
coming attractions for Aaron Rodgers. The people that page six
(41:39):
the tabloid following Rogers around. He's not even a jet
yet they're already following him around. We'll get out of here.
Thank you, Danny, good weekend, Thank you for downloading listening.
Tell a friend and we'll catch you next time. Later,
skater got a murder. I gotta go.
Kabooms. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a
clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The
(00:22):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now, nine in
the air. Everywhere. The Fifth Hour main bang, hanging out,
blabbing away all weekend long, because four hours a night
or not at off we do eight days a week,
(00:43):
eight days a week. We are hanging out with you
here in the audio dojo, and it's a big Sunday extravagance.
We've got the mail bag. But before we get to
the mail bag, originally I think we're gonna do this
on Friday, and then we're gonna do on a set today,
and we've got to do it right now. We need
to get scientifical, is what we need to do, and
(01:06):
time shifted it for ratings purposes exactly exactly. So let's
get into the science world. These are actual stories that
cut our attention and in honor of Penn and Teller,
these old comedians who used to have a TV show
that was called Bullshit. We will determine whether we believe
this stuff or we think it's bullshit. Here's a story
(01:30):
that was sent in by Alf the Alien opiner from Springfield,
mass says, the dogs of Chernobyl are experiencing rapid evolution
according to or the henines have acquired big subheadline strange
mutations because they live near Chernobyl. And so the studies
(01:57):
people have been science has been there trying to study
all these things. A new study analyzed the DNA of
three hundred two feral dogs living near the power plant,
compared the animals to others living ten miles away and
found amazing differences. And so the study does not prove
that radiation is the cause of these things, but it provides,
(02:20):
they say, the first step in analyzing what's going on.
So this Chernobyl thing all the way back to nineteen
eighty six, when that happened April of nineteen eighty six
and the meltdown and all that happened there, and here
we are forty almost forty years later, and they're still
(02:45):
figuring out what's going on. Nobody can live in that area.
It's all messed up. But they've got feral dogs, a
bunch of other animals. These are the descendants of pets
left behind when everyone was trying to get out of
Chernobyl because the thing exploded and all that, and so
they went through us in the they're in the Chernobyl
(03:06):
exclusion zone. They say it's the size of Yosemite National Park.
And it's all about trying to figure out the what
happens when you're exposed to radiation, how it has altered
the DNA of these animals. And they say, even speeding
(03:27):
up evolution, is that a bad thing or a good thing?
Maybe that's a good thing. That could be a good thing, right.
Maybe it sounds creepy, Yeah, it does, it does it?
As they started examining the DNA three hunder two feral
dogs found around that area, and the New York Times
(03:48):
had a story on this. They dug into it, and
they're trying to figure out exactly what's going on. They've
been analyzing all kinds of animals. They're including rodents, birds
and whatnot, but this is focusing on dogs. And from
the sounds of this, it sounds like they think that
(04:08):
the as I said, the mutations are taking place. Things
are being sped up that aren't supposed to be sped up,
or maybe they are supposed to be sped up and
we don't know about it. Well, that's interesting. Next up
from the from the ocean, the Immortal jellyfish. They found
scientists that found a jellyfish they claim that can practically
(04:30):
turn back time. They're they're saying that they're going to
use what this jellyfish does and they hope to bring
this to the human world and that will benefit from this.
Of course, chances of that happening are slim and none.
But these these jellyfish, they do not die a natural
(04:51):
death they age, but instead they return to infancy. So
instead of dying, they just returned infancy. How crazy is that?
Like Benjamin Button, Yeah, they're trying to figure out how
they do that. It was an interesting story I checked out,
so if you're interesting that you can you can check
(05:12):
it out. And there's a bunch of stories on science
platforms about aging. Can humans stop the aging process? They
there's one report that says humans can stop but not
fully reverse aging. So there's there's that report, and then
(05:33):
there's another report that says that you know, by twenty
thirty you'll be able to to create like an an
avatar of yourself, And so some wild tales out there
in the science world. I think we'll leave that alone.
There were some other stories, but I want to get
(05:54):
to the mailbag. Danny g Let's do it. That's what
Sundays are famous for. It's okay, Ohio, al thank you
(06:15):
yet again? First up on the mailback, Mike in Fullerton
rights and he says, Hey, Bannon, Danny Gee, I have
a few questions on radio caller etiquette. He says, Is
it more annoying for a caller to talk over you
or leave dead air? With slow responses? He says, even
though you always have a snarky response, ready, would you
(06:38):
be fine with never being asked? How are you doing? Ever? Again?
Is that worst way to start a call? So I
answer that one first. It is a terrible way to
start a call. But it's what everyone does. Everyone does.
They all do this. It's like how you doing? It's
like you don't know what to do and you get nervous,
(07:00):
and so it's a natural reaction. And it's like why
we say the word hello? They could have we talked
about this on the podcast. I don't know, maybe with you, Danny.
I don't maybe before you were on the podcast. But originally,
when the phone was invented, they had to come up
with a way so somebody on the other line when
(07:21):
you called somebody and you were talking, what the introduction
would be, and they decided on hello. The other option
was a hoy. They were considering saying a hoy yeah,
and that was under consideration. It is an awkward thing,
and I get asked more on the radio how am
I doing than anywhere else in life. Do you get
asked anywhere else, Danny, how are you doing today? No?
(07:44):
I mean because customer service is pretty shitty nowadays at stores,
at restaurants ever since COVID. It seems like so we
don't really hear that that often the one thing that's
a pet peeve is and not. This doesn't really apply
to your show because a lot of your callers are
regular callers that everybody knows. But on like Covino and Rich,
(08:06):
where it's random callers from different cities, I'll scream the call.
Ramos has it pretty loud in the studio. So I'm
doing the very best I can to hear the caller,
but I type it as Tom in Arkansas, and when
he gets on the air, he corrects the hosts and
he's like, it's Tom, not Tom. Yeah, your name could
(08:30):
be fruit loop. It doesn't matter. To the point, Well,
to that person, the sweetest sound in the language is
the name of you know, their voice, the name I
should say in your voice and whatever. But I know
I get another pet peeve of caller etiquette for Mike
and fuller to no relation to furg dog at all,
(08:52):
no relation to furg dog at all. Another pet peeve
is I was talking to your screener. That is That
is a pippie because the magic, part of the magic
of radio is that it's that's the conversation. No one
knows what happens off the air. So if you're referencing
(09:12):
I was talking to your screener, that's that's that's not
to me, that's a pain in the in the behind,
because you're like, you're ruining the whole magic. Nobody heard that.
That's a private conversation. You don't need to share every
private conversation, understand you know what I mean? Danny, And
let me preface this by saying, I love the callers
(09:34):
that participate in the topics, but don't tell me your
whole story. To your point, Ben, save it for on air.
That's something we tell each other a lot in the hallways.
When we start laughing about something, you'll hear someone say
save it for on air, save it, save it for
on air. And when I screen the calls, I'll say,
(09:55):
what's your name, what's your city? Thank you for calling?
Which topic are you calling in about? And that's all
you gotta answer. It's just, Oh, I'm calling about the
Costco clothes you guys were talking about. Okay, great, And
I type that in on the screen so the guys
can see what you're calling about. But what I get is, well,
you guys were talking about Costco clothes. And let me
(10:16):
tell you. You know, when I go there with my
wife and I'm sitting there and there's no nice way
for me to interrupt and get off that line, but
all the other lines are ringing, and it's like that
scene in Jerry McGuire where all the other lines start
disappearing because he's on the one call. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(10:39):
hear yeah, it's save it for on air. You're like
trying to herd cats or something like that when you're
you're doing that with the phones. And Mike also says,
what do you both think is the most common reason
you'd say a call was a bad call? All of
the above everything we've talked about two And to go
(11:01):
back to the first point you the first question you asked, Mike,
I would much rather have someone talk over me than
be half half there where they're not even paying attention.
That's that's bad. That's I'd rather have you sleeping where
I can hear you snore than where you're you're kind
of there but you're not really there, or you're you're
(11:23):
having a conversation with someone else. That's also a paint
in the behind, or any of the slow responses and
all that. Next up on the mailback, John in Northern
Colorado says, do you guys ever argue with your lady
over the proper loading of the dishwasher? Yeah? So, we
we have discussed this in the past as things go
(11:45):
flying here in the studio, but we have discussed in
the past. I am the dishwasher at the mallor mansion,
and I handle that my my wife. The reason I'm
the dishwasher is my wife used to be the dishwasher
and the food would It was insane how much food
was at the bottom of the dishwasher. And so I
decided I made an executive decision because it was one
(12:06):
of the most disgusting things I'd ever seen, because my
wife thought it was like out of the jetsins or something.
You just put it in there and it cleans everything
and you don't have to wash off the dishes at all,
and it was really bad. They were like peas and
macaroni and spaghetti at the bottom of the dishwasher. Was disgusting.
Good now that, yeah, that's gross. I mean the dishwasher
(12:27):
is basically just to polish off the job. You are
supposed to clean the dishes yourself and then put them
in there so when I load the dishwasher there is
no food evidence whatsoever. Yeah, it's a sanitized thing. The
dishwasher is really hot sanitizes, but you got to wash
it before and yeah, you're exactly, it's like the final
the final push. Next up on the mail bag Frank
(12:52):
Rights and from part zon on he says, what's the
best or doors or doors orders and that you've had
it a mine was grilled cheese with shots of tomatoes
soup at my cousin's wedding. Wow, that sounds good. Yeah,
that is pretty good. I've had some decent wedding appetizers.
(13:12):
I love those little mini tacos. Those mini takidos are
pretty good. About the little pigs in a blanket not bad,
not bad. Mini corn dogs which is the pick corn
on the top, that's not bad at all. I like
that Terryoki on a stick, Teryoki all piece of teryoki,
chicken on the sticks to go to. I don't mind that.
(13:35):
I'm trying to think those are usually the go to Eddie.
When Eddie got married, he made sure my meal was
chicken fingers, which was very nice because he knew I
didn't want to eat wedding food like that rubber chicken.
At the wedding his wife, Karen and Eddie they made
sure that I had the kid's menu, but I had
an adult portion. My lips have been on it, so
(13:57):
that was that was pretty nice. Thanks for that, Frank
Nick in Wisconsin right since its banning Danny Gee, if
you have your choice, are you choosing traditional toilet paper
or would you rather have a bidet? I cannot wait
for the Minnesota meet and greet will Thank you, Nick.
I'm looking forward to meeting you May twentieth. Let me
(14:18):
know if you're interested in purchasing one of those shirts
that I'll I'll have. Maybe I already have it up.
I don't know this weekend here. So to answer Nick's question,
I have become a fan of the bidet, Danny, I
gotta tell you, really, Yeah, something I never thought I
would be a fan of. I feel very clean with
(14:41):
the bidet. I I don't like that feeling though, of
wetness there right. I wish that there was a better
way to dry. The drying process is the problem. But
you can you can use both. You could do the
bidet and then it's much like we just we just
talked about. Yeah, the dishwashers the closer, So you could
(15:02):
argue the bidet is the main event, and then the
closer to come into Mariano Rivera to close out the
ninth inning would be just a little piece of toilet paper.
I might as well just stick to what I already
do is the baby wipes, Daddy. Yeah, but you're not
even to flush the baby wipes. You're not supposed to
flush it because it destroys the plumbing in your house. Oh,
(15:22):
I destroy everybody's plumbing. Okay, all right. I used to
do that too, and then I got a lecture. There's
a brand or two where they have proven that they
will not back up plumbing. So go with those two brands.
I don't know but that I'm a little some cheap
costco kind though. That yeah, boy, that Kirkland brand that'll
(15:43):
back up an entire hotel. You wash your mouth out
with soap and water. Next up on the mail bag,
let's see here. I think this is from our buddy
in Phoenix, and he says, what games did you have
on your cell phone? Or what which do you recommend?
(16:05):
Are you playing any games on your cell phone? I
think that's the question. You do want any gaming, Danny
right now? On the phone? Anything stand out there? You know,
I only have one game on my cell phone, and
it is that Airplane game nineteen forty two. That's your game,
that's your that's the game. That's the go to game
(16:27):
when I'm waiting in a long line to pick up food.
So to answer the question, I have also like you,
we're very similar in that regard. I have one game
at a time that I play a lot of and
the game right now that I play is let me,
let me get it up for you here, giggy, I've
(16:47):
this button here, and my go to game is scrabble.
I'm a I'm a big scrabble guy. That was by
the way, Lee, our buddy Lee in the Valley of
the Sun. At least he's a good guy. And yeah,
so I I play scrabble, and I usually play a
game until I get burned out on I played Tetris.
(17:08):
Has been my game before Solitaire, but now currently now
it's scrabble, scrabble, scrabble, scrabble, scrabble. What else we have?
Fred in Spring Texas writes in on the mail bag.
He says, Hey, guys, do either of you have mementos
you keep that remind you of your parents or your grandparents?
He says, really enjoy the show, thank you? Fred. Yes, yes, absolutely,
(17:32):
both my parents were gone unfortunately, so I have photos
and you know, pretty much everything from my youth that
my parents were involved in. I have a few things
spread around the house to remind me of the good
times with my mom and my dad, and so absolutely
I have I have several things around there. Anything for
(17:53):
your your grandparents, Danny, anything you want to you know,
share that you have. Yeah, my grandfather left me a
really cool it's like this little Bentley leather bag. He
held his pipe in it. That's how old school it is.
Smoke weed every day. Oh that's cool. There you go,
(18:14):
all right, very good. Next up we have ozzywas from
Western Australia, he writes, and he says, high mates, Benny
the Bopper and microphone throttler. My question for this week
have you ever had to wear a uniform for a
job or a particular event for work? Just my items
of no choice for work are a high is long
(18:36):
pants and shirt with reflective tape, steel cap boots and
a hard hat. Says Ozzy was out in Australia, so
not really working in radio. I've had to wear like
station gear at events and that's a that's about it.
And when I did stuff with the Dodgers, you had
to wear nice clothes on the plane. You had to
(18:58):
dress up for that. But not that's not wearing steel
cap boots. What about No, you're right, our entire careers
have boiled down to staff t shirts. Yes, and photo
occasionally photoshoots with jackets and sers. And things like that.
But that's about it. Yeah, that's about it. Let's see.
(19:21):
Next up, we have Callaghan Tim from Sturgis, Michigan. He says, hey, guys,
I grew up in Los Angeles. I moved to Michigan
when I was thirty, so that's how I got Callaghan Tim.
I used to watch the King's practice in the morning.
He's selling some stories here. Get a bunch of stories
about the Kings and the Lakers. Anybody on the Clippers
is a half of what Kobe Bryant is. And he
(19:45):
told the story about Phil Jackson almost running him over
at the Laker facility. He told the story about Isaiah
Ryder and the real reason he got suspended. So there
are some interesting stories there. He says he would go
hang out and Phil was flying in the parking lot
one time, and he says, as he was walking, this guy,
(20:05):
Callaghan Tim, was walking across the lane in the parking lot.
The back end of Phil Jackson's poor slid out of
control and he says Tim, he had to dive into
a bush. He landed on his head, his feet. Tim says,
we're up in the air everywhere, and he said, Phil Jackson,
(20:26):
this Endmaster rolled down his window and says, sorry, buddy.
And then the guy opened the gate at the Laker
facility and he floored it into the gated area away
from the unwashed. So that would have been quite if
Phil Jackson had run over Callighan Tim, that would have
been a big story at the time. Yeah. Yeah. And
(20:47):
Tim also says he says, I've emailed you guys a
few weeks ago about what I do while I'm listing,
and I told you. Tim says that when the weather
is nice, I have three acres tomorrow. I remember this
guy three acres the mos Some of my property is woods.
Danny g asked if I can if he can live here,
(21:07):
I asked for an anchor. Yeah, he says, I can
build him a house in the back of my property.
So he's offering to build you a house if you
want to live in Sturgis, Michigan. Danny Tim says he will.
He will build you a little house in the back
of his property. He says, Danny, are you good with
three bedroom, two bath. Just a warning, he says, we
(21:27):
have deer, raccoons, possums, squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, and a bobcat.
We call Frank. He's kind of an asshole, but he
keeps all the small animals at bay. He just leaves
the head the heads in the yard. And he said,
we have a lake that's a two minute walk from
(21:48):
the property. It sounds beautiful. And Kid Rock taught us
that Michigan is beautiful in the summertime. So if it's free,
it's for me. I'm down Sturgis, Michigan. You're right there, Danny, You,
you and the Missis can have a nice summer home.
Let's go a summer cabin with a bobcat. What's not
(22:09):
to like? Now, do you know where Sturgiss is in Michigan.
Let's do a little fun facts with Sturgis Michigan. Here Sturgis,
Michigan is located. Oh oh yeah, I'm looking. It's it's
on the It's just north of the Michigan Indiana border,
so it's right. It's on the lower part of Michigan.
(22:30):
It's it's got I eighty and ninety, the Indiana Toll
Road right there. It's got its own airport railroad. It's
sister cities with Westloch Germany. Weisloch Germany, Weisloch Germany. Did
you know it's known as the Electric City. Oh is
(22:51):
that right? Due to their High Joe Electric Dam, which
dates back to the early days of the community. The
city owned atric department has served the Sturgis area since
the city's inception in eighteen ninety six. I will one
up you. How about this as a fun fact for Sturgis, Michigan.
(23:12):
I'll leave the light on for you. Tom Boett, Tom
Bodett was raised in Sturgis, Michigan. Wow, oh my, yeah,
it's a fun fact. Yeah, but wait, there's more. Verne Troyer.
(23:32):
Verne Troyer. He grew up right near Sturgis in Centerville, Michigan.
He's not around anymore though. He died. Yeah, he passed away,
that little dude, right, yeah, yeah, he was in the
mini He was Mini me, right, was it? Yeah? He
was Mini me? Yeah yeah, all right, yeah, thank you
(23:53):
for that Callighan Tim good stories, Alfie alien Opina, Right,
since says waiting by the phone for my call from
the Basketball Hall of Fame? Guy, is there an item
that is on your wish list that you can't afford
but you would feel guilty buying. It's possibly something that
you'd be more likely to pull a trigger on if
you were a single anything pop up there, Danny, I
(24:18):
don't really have anything. I don't I don't really need
that much stuff. And yeah, I feel like when I
need something, I kind of get it. I'm not really
having a midlife crisis like I need to go out
get something. So I think I'm good. Yeah, my wife
is pretty cool with you know, things that I liked
that I want to get. Like when I was shopping
for my car, she could have been bitchy about the
(24:40):
price or the kind of fast car I like or wanted.
But her attitude is whatever makes you happy, whatever makes
you smile. It's a cool thing to have in a
significant other. You still need to finish off my car, Ben,
because I don't have tinted windows yet, and I want
to get a performance muffler put in. And yeah, so
(25:01):
you add a few things. I was I was shocked
about how expensive it is to get professional window tinting
on a car. Yeah, it's gone up the past decade.
What a what a hustle. I should get into that business.
I think I could do it. I think I could
do window tin and you know, there's have the reach.
Yeah I got to read, but there's multiple versions of wind.
I didn't know this until we were investigating window tin.
(25:23):
So there's a couple of ways to do it. You
can you can get window tin, which you have to
replace in like five years or a couple of years,
and then you can spend a thousand dollars on window
tin and then it's supposed to last the life of
the window on the car. Yeah, that's a lot of
dough right. There used to be two hundred dollars specials
(25:46):
that you would drive past, remember, yes, yes, uh? And
can you can you do it yourself? Would you want
to do it yourself? Day? Would you be willing to
do window tint yourself? No? No? And in fact, my
certified new is that what it is, certified used car
that I bought. One of the only things wrong on
(26:08):
the outside of the car is you could tell it
must have been a female driving it. Sexist the passenger side.
The rims are scraped. Oh okay, now that's the old meme,
the old joke, that meme that says Happy National Women's
Day and it shows a rim that's all tore up
from the curb, tore up from the curb up. We
(26:30):
love you women, But yeah, some don't know how to
park against a curb. They what do they call it?
Curb rash? I bought something on Amazon to fix it.
But it's this whole thing. I didn't realize. It's all
these different steps you have to take. It's like putty.
You have to let it dry and then you have
to sand it. Ain't nobody got time for that. No,
(26:52):
that's that's not that is not realistic. Ma, Man, that
ain't gonna work. Mama. We got busy lives, you got
radio the new Yeah, man, come on and it says
let it sit for five hours and then come back
and sand it. Yeah. I got five hours to work
off and wait for some putty to dry exactly. Terry
from England writes in on the Mailbag. He says, how
(27:13):
many miles do you have to go or dude, to
get to the studio now, Ben, compared to how far
the old mallor Mansion was. Well, Danny, you've been to
both the old and the new mallor Mansion, so you
know it is much further to get the current mallor Mansion.
I don't know the mile. I just think it's more
about the time. I'm very lucky I work when I do.
If I had worked during the day, I think I
(27:35):
would I would buy a helicopter. It's a it's a
it's a freaking uh poop fest. But it's it's much
further away, Terry, It's probably what do you think, two
hours in traffic? Yeah, two hours in traffic. Where I
lived before I could's there was a lot of traffic,
but it's at least an hour further from where I
was prior to where I'm at now. Cup fan Mike
(27:58):
writes in from Fort Wayne, any Anna. He says, Hey, guys,
what was your favorite spring break location when you were
growing up? So I didn't do spring break that much, Danny,
but Vegas. Everyone loved going to Vegas, even though we
weren't old enough to actually gamble. Just like hanging out
in Vegas was cool and Palm Springs was also popular
(28:21):
in San Diego, those like the Big Three? Did I
recall what about you, Danny not to be a party pooper,
but I did not a for spring break. I was working.
I jumped right into the workforce. I was working at
an FM radio station when I was sixteen years old. Yeah,
I just want to point out I went to Vegas
(28:42):
a few times, but I also started I started radio
when I was nineteen, so I didn't really get to
enjoy the full college spring break situation. I did go
to saddleback for a little bit, but then I quickly
moved on to other things. Mark from Parts Unknown right
Scene says Ben and Danny, Gee, I've been listening to
The Mallard Show on the podcast since approximately twenty twelve.
(29:06):
And yeah, I've downloaded all four hours and all of
the fifth hour as well. Thank you, Mark, I appreciate that.
And he says A great documentary called he recommends is
the Super Bob Einstein movie on HBO. It's the funniest
(29:26):
documentary I've ever seen. He says, thank you all there.
I love super Daves Delivery. Yeah, I actually have seen that.
That is a solid documentary. It's not in my top
documentary standings. You know my top documentaries. I have Operational Odessa, Mark,
you should watch Operational Odessa, Super Mensch, Supersize Me Too,
(29:51):
The Dark Side, and mcmillions. Those are my very top documentaries.
Mcmillions was at the no which one was the was it? Pepsi?
The Pepsi, the jet the Jet Fighter. That one was
good too. I did like that one. Get the name
of that, but that was really good. Yeah, that one's
(30:13):
pretty solid. Mcmillions was the one where the guys that
the family was scamming the McDonald's contest, so they were here. Yeah,
that's right. It's it's kind of similar to the Pepsi
jet Fighter one. Yeah. Yeah, the jet Fighter one had
Michael Avanadi on it. It was a Netflix show, right
it wasn't? Yes, yes, yeah, that was. That was pretty
good too. I should I should add that to my
(30:35):
I don't have a list, as you know, Danny, I
don't believe in list, but I have Big Ben's Big Board,
which is much different. It was called Pepsi. Where's my
jet Oh? Okay, yeah that was That was really good too.
And next up is Noah from Austin. He says, howdy,
Gent's Sunday mail bag, my birthday. Happy Easter by thele
That's right, it's Easter, says. My question to you and
(30:59):
Danny g is if you could both start your radio
careers over, what would you have done differently? It's from Noah,
So you want to go first to any any changes
you would make to the road. I would have picked
a different night to invite my young lady friend into
the main control room is a lot of meat. When
(31:22):
I was man, I must have been eighteen, and I
had a friend come into the studio, and little did
I know, the general manager of the station was going
to be showing up late that night dropping off the
station van. Oh and yeah, he apparently saw what I
was doing through the window. And then I got called
(31:45):
into the principal's office the next day, and let's just
say it was a very embarrassing meeting for me and
to this day. And I did wonderful things for that company,
awesome number one ratings. So this day I see that
general manager of mine. He now runs radio stations up
in Portland and Seattle. And what's the one story he
(32:07):
tells everybody when he's introducing me around. Tell them about
the awesome ratings and the awesome promotions and contests that
I came up with on the air. No, he tells
them about that one night he got to the station
and I was up to no good. You were making
whoopee you were you were giving up close and personal
(32:27):
exam of the radio station and uh and all the other.
But yeah, no, I was. All I was doing was
showing her how to change the meter readings. Oh there
you go. Yeah you were. You were pointing things out
to her, is what you were? I got you, I
got you, I got you all right. Next to answer
your question, though, happy Birthday by Is this a cheap
way for you to get a birthday shout out? Is
(32:48):
that what you're doing on the Sunday mail bag? How? Yeah,
it does. But happy birthday and and and he did
a Cadbury egg from I love those Cadbury eggs. Happy Birthday.
You do not look a day over sixty. Yeah, exactly.
So I wouldn't change anything in my radio career other
than the fact that I was very paranoid that I
wasn't gonna make it. And I had a very traumatic
(33:12):
experience in San Diego when I started out, because the
program director was a bit of a douche and in
the end of any of every year, they would lay
a bunch of people off and he would he was
the kind of guy. He was like a big vomit
guy from Howard Stern, where he'd be like, Hey, he
didn't care about board ops or producers. I can go
(33:33):
down to the train station in San Diego and I
can get board ops if I need I don't, you know,
like that kind of thing, yeah, BC, Yeah, it was that.
It was that kind of vibe. And it was like,
you know, guys would go on vacation at the end
of December and they'd never come back and they thought
they were going on vacation, and then that was that
(33:54):
was that, and that was unfortunate. But other than that,
I think we are all a product of all the
things that happened got us to this point. I'm a
big believer in that. So all together, things worked out.
It's been a good career in radio. If it ends today,
so be it. But it's been a good run and
I don't I don't think I would change anything. And
unlike Danny G, I was not I was not spending
(34:17):
quality time with listeners, at least not at the radio
station who said she was a listener. Oh probably not. Oh.
I had an old program director and he used to say,
if we're number one in the ratings, everybody is a listener.
There you go, there you go, You're all number Jeffrey
Rights and from many says, some great people up here
(34:39):
in Maine, Bend and Danny G. They made this big
old ice circle thing on a frozen lake that six
football fields freaking wide. He says it's not as big
as Lizzo's dinner plate, but impressive. Nonetheless, all right, this
guy's got jokes. Lame jokes are on Friday, sir, not
on the mail bag. Bad job by you. Back back
(35:00):
from Maine. Jay Bone from Portland, Maine says, if you
put your podcast on, then play two times the speed
when the boys are fighting. He talks about game shows,
Laker Clipper fights. Hearing everyone yelling so fast is funny,
he says, not a question, just a suggestion. Okay, you're
(35:24):
talking about your live show. Yeah, but you can also
on this podcast. We don't really fight on this podcast,
but I will point out we get the same credit
on the podcast. They don't know whether you're listening fast
forwarding or not, right, so it doesn't really matter at us.
You know. Somebody at work, though, did tell me that
when they do listen back to the podcast, they listen
(35:46):
at one and a half speed, so the voices are
slightly fast, but not chipmunk fast. But that would bug me.
I don't want to hear somebody's voice it sped up.
It's like when I hear your voice on a commercial
and they need to edit you down because your commercial
read was too long. So it's like Ben Maller, but
(36:09):
the chipmunk version of Ben Mallard. Are you saying? I
don't sound like that when I'm speed reading. I don't
sound or Ben Maller when he was twenty two years old,
because that's what you sounded like back then. I don't
know if Royals are having their problems on the road,
Royals having their problems on the road. I'm Ben Mallock.
(36:32):
I was right. I said that twenty years ago, and
today the Royals are still having their problems on the road.
Nothing has changed any more than that in my lifetime
unless it has it. The Royals are always having their
problems on the road. Greg writes in he says, who
would win a steelcage match? Blair or Marcel? You know
who would win that match? The people watching the match,
(36:53):
they're the ones that would win the match. But I
would give Blair the edge. Marcel's physically more dominant. From
what I don't I've never met Marcel. I've met Blair.
Blair's he's not the biggest cat in the zoo. But
Marcel would have a physical advantage, but Blair, I think
would have a slight technique advantage in bobbing and weaving.
(37:15):
Marcel would just stand there and say, motombo him, motombo him,
block him that. I'm pretty sure that's how that would
go down. A bell listener, Bell writes, and she's in Tennessee.
She says, guys, if you were single, would you date
a woman with a full body tattoo? Who? So, Bell,
(37:40):
I'm not. I'm not a tattoo guy. I did when
I was dating I. I know, beggars can't be choosers.
So I did date some some young ladies that have tattoos,
but I I never I don't know full body. That's
a a little tough like. I don't mind a little
bit here, a little bit there, maybe on the ankle back.
When I was dating Danny, very popular tattoo was on
(38:03):
the lower back. That was the quote unquote tramp stamp. Yeah.
Is that still popular these days? I don't know. I'm
not up on the tattoo world these days. No, the
ladies they have nicer tattoos these days in lots of
other places on their bodies. Yeah, okay. Remember also, we're
(38:27):
around the same age. Danny did the barbed wire tattoo?
Remember that? Oh god, those did not age well. Shocking
they did not age. Ask Jonas Knox go hard on
a guy? Oh does he he's got a barbed wire
He even makes fun of it himself. He's like, I
don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why
(38:47):
I did it, but it did not age well at all. Um,
there are I like when women have tattoos on one side,
so maybe like half a sleeve on one side, but
when they have tattoos on both sides of their bodies,
it looks too manly to me. But I do think
it's feminine and nice when it's on one side of
(39:08):
their body. Everything in moderation, even moderation should be in moderation.
I think that's all we have time for a manic
Mike and Steve and Joe and all you other yahoo's.
I apologize, but we can't go on forever. We have
things to do, places to hang out and whatnot. It's
Easter Sunday, Passover festivity is still going on and all
(39:31):
that good stuff. Eat the mazza today. It's early Sunday
morning right now, so my chick is probably downstairs hiding
eggs on the balcony. Okay, you just well, the kids
don't listen to a podcast. Nah, they're old now. Anyway,
her kids are older now, So I mean, we just
got the twelve year old. But the twelve year old
(39:52):
doesn't think there's a bunny hopping around laying eggs. No. Oh,
and this blast Christmas was the first time she was like, Mom,
are you serious? Mom? And you know, if there is
a kid listening right now, they don't even know what
I'm talking about, but you do because we're not in
(40:14):
the business of spoiling things for anybody. But yeah, she
is just like, Mom, I can't believe you did that.
She's just so put off by the whole thought of
you know what her mom did? Yeah, ready to be
all grown up, ready to Yeah. Yeah, But you know what, Ben,
(40:34):
they don't turn the candy back in today, They're gonna
find the candy and they're gonna be like little kids again. Exactly. All.
I have a great day today. I'll be back live radio,
old school radio oviating all night long. You can check
that out live on Fox Sports Radio from Hawaii to
(40:56):
Maine and Canada and all over the world, and the
American Forces Network so check out the band Mallard show.
We start eleven o'clock in the West on Sunday night,
that would be tonight, and then at two am on
Monday morning in the East as we head into a
brand's spanking new weekend. We'll we'll catch you then. Yeah,
(41:17):
Sunday nights, I'm up late. That's usually when I hear
you on your live show. There you go. I'll be
barking away about some nonsense and some Aaron Rodgers story
or Jackson or god only knows what. Yeah, the big
announcement about him buying crystals. That is a preview of
coming attractions for Aaron Rodgers. The people that page six
(41:39):
the tabloid following Rogers around. He's not even a jet
yet they're already following him around. We'll get out of here.
Thank you, Danny, good weekend, Thank you for downloading listening.
Tell a friend and we'll catch you next time. Later,
skater got a murder. I gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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