December 16, 2023 • 37 mins
Ben Maller & his 5th Hour home-slice Danny G. have a fun Saturday for you! They're talking: The Day the Laughter Died, Where Everybody Knows Your Name, Gremlin Hunters, Idiom of the Week, Foodie Fun, & a Bonus Flashback!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
A Everywhere and a very good Saturday. It is the
sixteenth day of December as we are recording this podcast,
The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio.
Because five nights a week or not enough on the
(00:52):
Ben Maler Show. And we thank you for following the podcast.
Tell a friend, give the gift of the podcast. Well,
I can't think of a better gift that people would want,
Danny then this podcast. And it doesn't cost you anything,
but it comes from the heart. It comes from the heart.
And then when they slap you and they treat you
like you know, you are Nurkic and they are Draymond Green,
(01:17):
you know it just it's their problem. It's not your problem,
it's their proplem.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah, I have a couple of those Valor Militia stickers
left over. So what I'm gonna do this Christmas is
put those in the kids stockings and then on their iPhones.
I'll send them a link to this podcast and there
you go. Christmas shopping finished.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
And a family tradition is born. And what a great
family tradition.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
And also be voted worst Dad of the year.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
No, no, I think Cole will not say anything. I
think it will be like, this is great, and this
is wonderful, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
He might arf, though, he might barf.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Look it's kid barth though. So on this podcast we
have the Day the Laughter Died, Exciting where everybody knows
your name, Gremlin Hunters, the Idiom of the Week, and Backscratcher.
So that is supposed to be all of the great content.
(02:20):
But who knows. Maybe we won't get to all of
that content. But that's the plan. The plan is to
get to all of that stuff. But we'll begin with
this partying is is never a good thing. It's never
a good thing. So on the Overnight Show, we do
a segment on Fridays called Lame Jokes of the Week.
I've been doing this for years and listeners send in jokes.
(02:42):
I get so many jokes I can't use because they're
off color jokes, and we got to be careful these
days with all the wokesters who want to get you.
So we don't use a lot of those, but we
use lizo jokes and weed Man Hippie jokes. Those are
the two jokes we use a lot. America's favorite hobo
at it again. So weed Man Hippie is his name.
(03:04):
If you missed the show on Friday, I do recommend
going back and downloading our three because we got a
big scoop in the middle of our three. So if
you didn't listen, let me give you the brief recap
here the condensed recap. Over the past month, I have
been unable to get a hold of Weedman now. He
lives in Miami. We have a number for him. He
(03:28):
has been the laugh track on the show. Used to
be a regular caller, but now he's pretty much just
the laugh track for lame jokes. And he got ejected.
He got thrown out of his home in Miami, so
he's living on the streets now. He's looking for a place,
trying to get back into this program that'll give him
a free place to live. So he's down on his luck,
but he always answers my calls and he always wants
(03:51):
to be on the show because he uses the listeners
to try to get money. So as the laugh track
of the show, we started to get a little concern
because he wasn't answering his phone. It was going right
to voicemail. And then this week, a couple of days ago,
we call up his phone. I call up his phone
(04:11):
and the phone has been completely disconnected. So this is
a bad sign. So we had to activate the malor
investigative Arm. Yeah, we brought in the investigators to try
to get to the bottom of this. Where was Weedman
and a dateline Detective Land South Florida edition the Search
(04:34):
for Billy because that's that's his name, Billy. He goes
by the moniker weed Man. So I'll let you in
behind the curtain here. And this part is really we
really know laugh and matter. We have people that call
this show the Overnight Show, not this show. Nobody calls
this ship. But the people on the Overnight Show got
(04:55):
people that are part of society were sometimes they're alone,
they don't have a lot of family, down on their luck,
those kinds of situations. So they find the ship and
they become part of our little family. And then sometimes
we don't hear from them. We get concerned and so
we have to look. And the first place we look
(05:18):
we go right for the worst possible scenario. So we
looked at the We go to the morgues and try
to figure out, you know, names of people that just
died and see if we can find anybody.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
We have a lot of listeners there.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Unfortunately I have more people that are there than are
probably listening now. But we checked to see the recently deceased.
It's a sad reality now. Fortunately nobody buy the name
that we know, the real name, legal name of weed Man,
hippie croaked. Nobody croaked by that name in South Florida
(05:57):
that we could find. There were a number of peop
them at their untimely to mind, they were not named
the same name as we. So then after that, where
do you think we moved next?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Danny.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Once we've gone through the morgues to see who's died,
where do we go now?
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Hospitals?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
No, we no, we went police blotter. We went police
blotter because we were like, okay, so he's not dead.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Oh so you're thinking arrest before injury.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, because if he's in the hospital, his phone would
still be working, we assumed, right, So we're like, if
he's arrested, they might have done something.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
So yea, his phone could be inside an evidence bag exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So we moved to the police blotter and Bullseye ding
ding ding ding Ding. Kooperloop uncovered through the police blotter that, unfortunately,
the day the laughter died, but not weed Man. He
did not die. Our friend weed Man Hippie, back on
Novae number twenty fifth, was arrested in Miami Dade County
(07:06):
and his mugshot is all over the interweb now and
you might have seen it. Some of the fans of
the show have found it. Oh no, oh sure, yeah,
so weed Man Hippie. This is heightweight age, everything there.
He was arrested on three charges. Do you want to
hear the charges, Danny.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, I would love to, all right.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
So he was charged with tampering with physical evidence, attempted
tampering with physical evidence. He was charged with cannabis possession.
How appropriate is that? We'd Man Hippie was charged with
cannabis possession twenty grams or less. Also misdemeanor indecent exposure
(07:52):
that's Miami Beach, Sydney Ordnance. WHOA, yeah, so which of
those do you think is the most serious charge? The
decent exposure, that's what I thought, But believe it or not,
that's not I was shocked that they don't really care
about that. That's because I have the bond. The price
of bond here, the bond on indecent exposure is the lowest.
(08:15):
That's five hundred dollars bond.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
I guess there are used to lots of naked people
running around the streets there.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah, oh sure, South Beach. I mean you've been there.
I've been there where. It's quite the scene and cannabis
that shocking. People are still getting arrested for this, but
bond was a thousand. The big one is the tampering
with physical evidence. That is a felony. He's weet man,
He's fasing a felony charge and that bond is five
(08:44):
thousand dollars so in order for him to get out early,
and he did have a court date on Friday yesterday,
so I don't know what happened with that. I have
not seen that posted anywhere, but five thousand dollars bond
for the tampering with physical evidence, thousand dollars bond for cannabis,
and five hundred so that's sixty five hundred dollars. He's
(09:07):
got no money other than a couple of bucks the
government gives him every month because he's that poor. So
and he's gonna have a he's gonna have one of
those lawyers that are core assigned public defender that's not
gonna go well. So this is quite the mess, quite
the mess or our friend weed Man hippie. So we'll
see what happens. And I guess if he goes to jail,
(09:30):
that's where everybody knows his name, possibly right, maybe I
don't know. He's been arrested a few times. I love you.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Our holiday plans are gonna slightly be better than weed Ban's.
We've talked about Disneyland on this podcast the past few weekends,
and usually when they come up in conversation, it's about
the price, right. Yeah, So my better half she always
does this thing around this time of the year. She says,
(10:01):
you know how tight money is right now, And I'm
like yeah, She's like, let's make it even tighter by
planning a trip to Disneyland.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh boy, yeah, so her.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Big idea, All right, it'll cost less money if instead
of doing gifts, we just do a Disneyland trip on Christmas.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Wrong, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Not sure how much money it saved us, big Ben,
But we do have plans to go to the park
on Christmas Day and I guess the day after that.
So a two day journey inside Walt Disney's dream come true.
And his vision, of course, was not two hundred dollars
tickets for each person. But we paid that money. Now,
(10:44):
how did my wife he get that money for the tickets?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Rob banks?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
She didn't rob banks.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
OnlyFans, account No, no, OnlyFans.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
She didn't go back to her previous life in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Okay, show girl. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Instead she told me, all right, she's a travel agent.
She said, I'm gonna work the phones until I can't
work the phones no more.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, got some money.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Here, and my part, Ben of this trip, I'm going
to pay for all the food. All right. So that's
gonna be a hefty amount because.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Here's here's what.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Here's what.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
You just make a bunch of like peanut butter and
jelly sandwich is put in a locker. That's what that's.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yeah, some warm PBJ sandwiches in a Disneyland locker. I'm
sure that'll go over great with the family.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Oh no, you just point out. Listen, here's what we're
eating today. Here's what's on the menu.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
You know. Yeah, yeah, I wish it was that easy.
So I'm gonna have to budget quite a bit of
money here. But she said, look for me to get
the ticket money. All I need from you each morning
when you leave the school, go to the Starbucks and
bring me. Here's a life hack, boys and girls, if
you need a lot of energy, get a venty.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Black ice racist.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
No water, mango base. This is the potion. This is
the power potion. If she gets one of these into
her system, she could work the phones for hours, even
with the baby on her hip.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, how much does that cost? Is that a fifteen
dollars drink or something like that?
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Thank god, it's not. It's a five I think it's
four ninety five With a dollar tip. That's six bucks. Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
And here after that, you seize the day, right right?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
I go in there, Ben, this is now, I guess
like my fourth or fifth day in a row. And
the lady looks at me as I walk in and
she says, good morning, Daniel.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Oh me, WHOA, Like, no, they.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Freaking know my name in here? Now? Yeah, I feel
trapped now because I wasn't sure whether or not I
should be leaving tips for this overpriced drink and she's
having like these little take good morning conversations with me.
So now I feel obligated to leave a tip.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Oh she guilted you into a tip.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah, So on Friday, I was like, man, I gotta
gave her at least one dollar for each iced tea
that I've had the past couple of days. So I
gave her a crisp five dollars bill. But this is
what I don't like at these places. Ben. Instead of
her taking and I wanted her to have it, instead
of her putting it in her pocket, she put it
(13:29):
in that stupid plastic cube.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh yeah, I think why I think they're forced to
do that, aren't they.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
That's bullshit? I agree, And I don't want that money
going to the other knuckleheads there behind the counter right
through with you.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I mean, these companies have these policies. You can't take
any back. Like I've I've told the story on the
pocage before I've lost my wallet. Somebody's found my wallet
at the grocery store and I tried to give them
some money, and they're like, we can't take the money
I wanted. How can you not take the money? I
want to give you the money? I don't know you are,
and I like, the the worst we've talked about this
is the the kiosk that you go to at the
(14:04):
grid when you're checking out at the market and you're
the one that has to scan the groceries and all.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
That, And then these motherfuckers at Target and Walmart in
places like that, they'll have like only one or two
lanes open nowadays, even during the holidays, so they make
you scan all your own items. They make you do
all the work, and then you got to stand in
a line so they could check your receipt.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
And the funniest if you if you go to like Walmart.
Sometimes I'll go there and I'll just get like one
item and they still you have to have your receipt
like checked or like what's the point? You know, It's like,
there's like two things in my hand here. Am I
really stealing a thing of bananas? Is that really my move? Here?
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Come on, now, I got to figure out how to
pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for food. I'm doing
the malor math in my head already. I think I'm
gonna need for two days family of five. I think
I'm gonna need at least five hundred dollars for the
food and snacks.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I think over five hundred.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Damn yeah, I'm take the over on that.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Oh man, are.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You going to give them a budget every day?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yeah? Because every parent knows your kids are going to
drive you up a wall. As my mom used to say, can.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I have this?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Can I have that? So what you do is you
tell him you have this little budget, don't ask for anything.
Here's your allowance for the day. Now shut up and
have fun.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah. I guess Co's got his own own food. I
need to worry about that.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Thank god, he nurses for free.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
You go, you got you're savings some money on that.
Just wait a few years and it's over. We have
What do we have here? This is any meaning? Oh?
This story? I wanted to tell this story briefly on
the pod Gremlin Hunters, so as you know, ever since,
if you listen to the radio show, which I assume
(16:03):
you do because you're listening to this show and you're
hanging out with us. So since COVID, we have had
a hybrid schedule. Now for two years, we just I
did the show from home. We didn't.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
I never went to the.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Studio, but within the last year I go in usually
three days a week, sometimes less, sometimes more, depends on
my schedule. But it's a hybrid. So I'm at home
some of the time. I have a home studio, and
then I go into work. Let me talk about it.
It's got ops. So every once in a while I'll
be doing the show from home and everything goes to hell.
(16:38):
The thingama jig stops working, the watch McCall it can't
fix the thingama jig and the gizmo not lighting up,
and I get off, I get knocked off the air.
The broadcast line I use goes down. And it has
happened several times more than I would like. And so
I did raise Holy Hell for a while to try
(16:59):
to get a back cup line so this would never
happen again. There is a way to do it where
it'll never happen ingenuity, and I did get a little pushback.
I'm not gonna lie and I don't wanna go inside radio.
But I did get a little pushback. So then I
had a big broadcast line go down situation a couple
of weeks ago where I had like drive in. It
(17:21):
was I think Thanksgiving week if I remember, because Iowa
Sam was gone, so we had Mark was the engineer,
and it was a big mess. And so I of
course then complained some more. And the good news is
they have provided me Danny with a backup line, so
(17:42):
the Gremlin hunters have one battle. In fact, I actually
you probably heard me.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Yeah, I heard you testing the line while I was
on the air with Covino and Rich.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah. Yeah. So I had to get up early, which
I'm not normally up at that time. And our head
engineer a very fine gentleman named Currish, and.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
He's a joy. He loves his job.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yes he does, absolutely, and so curis. He told me
what I needed to get and he sent me a
few items, which I was shocked at that I needed
just a few things for the backup line. Now my
hope is I never use this line. My goal is
to never use this line, because now that I need it,
I'll probably never use it, right, isn't that the rule?
(18:25):
Like if you don't if you think you need something
and get it, you'll never use it.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Now, I don't want to go to technical or anything,
but do you have any idea how this backup line works.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
A little bit? It's not actually that difficult. It's it's
not that complex. It's a I don't get too much
into how how exactly it works, but.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
It's uh, you know, it's it's it's it's it's like
hardwired in Uh.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, so you can use a line. Uh, most of
our connections are internet based now, so this is not
Internet based. This is something you can you can use
the Internet, but it's got you.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
It's just like your personal batphone into the network.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Yeah. I was telling of selling the wife. I was like,
you know, we could probably use this like anywhere because
it doesn't need Internet. So I could like go, as
long as I have some kind of telephone connection, I
can get anywhere and do the show. So like mah,
start traveling, left, join it out, but klakey. I did
have somebody mentioned there's a great frenchy taco place. Now
(19:32):
that I mentioned I wanted to do a food review.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Daddy.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
The guys like, oh, Yeah, there's a place you got
to go. I got all these emails from people that
used to either are in LA or used to live
in LA. They're like, you got to go here. They
got the greatest you know, so and so and all
that stuff, like, Okay, we'll see what's going on. The
idiom of the week, the idiom of the week kind
of food related here, Spill the beans. Spill the beans,
(19:59):
the idiom of the week. And this actually dates back
to ancient Greece, and they're trying to figure out exactly
where the working hypothesis on this from what I was
able to uncover on the interweb, the term spill the beans,
which I like, well, what is it? What is this
all about? It goes back to ancient Greece, and it
(20:22):
supposedly derives from the council members and ancient Greece, the
way they did the election. Everyone that voted used they
used white beans for yes, that's racist. They used black
or brown beans for no. When they did a vote,
and so they would put the beans in a jar.
(20:46):
And when everyone had voted at this council in ancient Greece,
everyone's voting, and then they would spill the beans in
order to figure out who got all the yes votes
and who won. Oh, that's crazy, nuts, that's awesome. I
was like, wow, that's a really interesting origin. I wonder
(21:07):
when they stopped using beans. It's like, I don't know,
but the use of the verb spill, as in divulge
or let out, that's been around since the fifteen hundreds,
so long long ago, long long ago. So the idiom
(21:27):
of the week spill the beans, which is disposed a
secret or reveal something which goes all the way back
when you're saying that you're honoring ancient Greece elections, council
member elections, where the council members would vote with beans,
and that is the idiom of the week. Dude, I
(21:47):
have a little footie fund. Well, we'll get out on
foody fund. There's actually one story I really wanted to
get to and that involves I love ripoff items that
you can make at home that are just as good
as the product that you spend a shitload of money on.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, I still want to try your round table ripoff.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Oh I love the round table. I can send that
to you. This is Do you like McDonald's fries? Do
you like the McDonald's.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Don't eat them often because I know how salty and
bad they are for you. But as a treat once
in a while, probably once every six months, those are delicious.
When they're hot and fresh.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
They're wonderful. Did you know you can actually make the
McDonald's fries at home a McDonald's a former McDonald's executive
corporate chef. This We talked about this guy before because
he's he's spilled literally spilled the beans dandy, as we
just said on guy in Chicago. Yeah, the guys he's
(22:45):
like a YouTuber guy. Now he's the guy that told
us the big Max sauce you can get Walmart. Well,
you can also get McDonald's french fries at Walmart. Say what? Yeah,
here's what he said. The former McDonald's executive said, you
purchase Walmart frozen Great Value, thin cut French fried potatoes.
(23:08):
He says, the ingredients are almost identical to McDonald's french fries.
The key here is how you cook the fries to
get them to taste like McDonald's fries. And he goes
point by point, this guy, and he said, the oil
you use is very important for the fryer. You have
to cook these in small batches. But the key, he said,
(23:31):
is McDonald's adds beef flavoring to their oil blend to
cook the fries. So in order to mimic that this
guy used to be a big shot at McDonald's, said,
you have to add about two tablespoons of beef tallow
for every cup of oil. And if you do that,
he says, he recommends you cook the fries at three
(23:53):
point sixty the three hundred and seventy degrees and about
two minutes. Cooked the fries for about two minutes, and
he says that you'll get McDonald's fries. Uh, and you
know just kicked. You have to cook them in small batches.
He said, they're they're very efficient and you just stop
whenever you get the color you want of the fries.
(24:16):
So that's, uh, that's pretty cool. Yeah. He also, among
other items, he pointed out that at all.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
The you ever been to all the Yeah, I actually
was out one just a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I like all thee but I hate that you have
to put quarters in to get your shopping cart.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
But they said season's choice hash brown patties are the
closest match on the market if you like McDonald's hash browns.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Oh, those things are greasy and deep fried. Growth.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah. He also said the Walmart great value fully cooked
original pork sausage patties and is the the closest to
the McDonald's product. And we mentioned the Big Big Mac sauce,
which is secret sauce at at Walmarts. This guy's a
gold mine. I do love my McDonald's fries like most people,
(25:07):
So I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy this on
my Walmart. I'm gonna buy a bag of these things,
is what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
And the next time we visit the Malor Mansion, I
am gonna request round table knockoff pizza and McDonald's knockoff fries.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
So here's the thing on the on the round table pizza.
The round table pizza is pretty good, but I have
absolutely nailed the garlic palmers on twists that that is
as good. The version I make is as good as
the round table version.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
So I'll do the marinara sauce to dip them in.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Yeah, we'll do the marin Era. I will make those
for you, Danny and your your lovely wife there and
CoA can have some if he you know, he can't
eat right now, but yeah, we'll have you. I'll make
some of those.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Those are those you have any apples, ben, he'll chew
on those. The very first solid human food that CoA tried.
This past week, he got his first apple. I mean
obviously he didn't chew on it, but he did suck
on the apple core.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Maybe you can suck on it and that'll make it better.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
And anytime my wife he took it away from him,
he screamed and cried, which means he liked it.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Oh good, Yeah, all right, And.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
So apple is the first thing we've introduced him to.
Obviously you got to go one thing out of time
to make sure they're not allergic to it.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah. Yeah, so you gotta put that in the baby book.
The first thing you ever for food apple.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Apple core check. Next on the list, chocolate.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Oh yeah, that's the move. Maybe you should have started
with the vegetables though, right, Maybe you started with the vegetables.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
No, we'll see if he likes the fudge bar from Costco.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Of course, come on, please, I think you know there
were some other footy stories. It's like new items. I
don't know if you're interested in the new items that
Windy and Starbucks and Taco Bell and places like that.
I did see McDonald's launched a new McRib deluxe sandwich
in Australia. What the hell is a deluxe McRib? I
(27:11):
don't I don't quite get that. There's gonna be gluten
free Golden Oreo cookies. I don't know that we need that,
but they say anyway, there's a there's a few new
items here and there. When he's offering a one cent
small Coca Cola drink as part of some promotion they're doing,
uh coming up here, and uh, I think we're a
(27:35):
little late, so we'll get out on that. I did
see Doritos made an alcoholic liquor that tastes like a
cheesy a cheesy chip. What that could that could be
dangerous too?
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Like yeah, yeah, because those are Once you open a
bag of those, it's hard to stop eating them. So yeah,
I drink yourself into a stupor.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
All right, it is Saturday? Ye, yeah, we put the
baby to bed here, Danny, What do you got going
on here on a Saturday? I know, Benny versus the
penny will be on all over the place. Again today,
so check your local TV listings for that. What do
you got going on a.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Day of rest after producing this fine podcast, I'm gonna
go back to sleep and catch up on some z's
and try to take it easy. Man. Before we have
a busy Sunday with the mail Bag, bill.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Bag, We get the mail Bag. We'll also have Pop
goes the Culture on Sunday. Have a wonderful rest of
your day and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Asta Pasta by flation. Hey, Hey, hey, let you go.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Tender only tips in a bit of a dry spell,
tinder Guru Danny G.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Is here to give you have a romantic queer it
and you are under the age of fifty and you're
not freakyoing to the gut d in Thief, give up the.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Call as Cinderoni tips from Danny G Radio, a man
who is very active in the dating scene, an expert.
We will be interactive as well, So if you're on hold,
stay there and we're gonna take as many calls as
we can eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox Danny
G will give you his wisdom. I will start with
(29:31):
an email. This comes to us from Fat Guy in
the six to one nine OK, And he says, Danny,
I have been talking to this woman for about two
and a half months after a buddy introduced us to
each other. We have been talking over the phone, messaging
facetiming each other. I'm twenty five, she's thirty four. The
(29:54):
age does not bug me. This guy says, it's a
fact that she lives in Texas. I'm in Californi and
she's coming to California to see me for vacation on
the twenty fifth of the month. She recently threw a
curveball at me, this guy writes, and told me she's
a trust fund baby, what about that? And her grandfather
(30:16):
was the VP of a Dow Jones investment company. And also,
but this is long this email, keep him shorter. Also,
she said that if she gets married before she turns
thirty five in September, that she gets six million dollars
added to her x amount of money she's already guaranteed. Yeah,
I thought she was a huge liar, but I asked
(30:39):
my friend that hooked me up and everything checked out.
So with that being said, here's the question, Danny G Radio,
I need tips on how on not screwing myself when
she comes to me and what should I and what
should I do and what shouldn't I do? Appreciate any
tips and suggestions from you and the crew.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Wow, if we could all have such problems. Right, Yeah,
that's a good email. Well, first thing I would say,
once you do if things go well, and after this advice,
I'm sure things will go well. The Ben Mallor Show
would like to broadcast live from Maui. So if you
could hook that Maui. Yeah, I think because she has money,
(31:22):
you know, and and I know something about this. I
was with a woman for five years who made way
more money. So you gotta pay attention to the small things, right,
Women love the little things, So the things that are free.
Good sense of humor, sensitivity, being a gentleman that doesn't
cost anything monot Stay away from that one.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
What if you're not funny? Though, if you're not funny.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
There's a way to make a woman giggle at dinner. Yeah,
pay attention. Pay attention. Also, stay stay away from discussing
each other's finances. There fat was it? Fat guys? In
the sixth one?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Fat guy six one nine?
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Okay, over time, show her that you're responsible with your money. Okay,
because she's gonna see that you're fun, but mature and motivated.
When she sees that's the kind of person you are,
you'll be in Paris with her. Trust me, all right,
So good, good luck, so good advice.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
My advice, take her to Vegas and get married right
away before she changes her mind. That's my advice. Let's
go to Matt in Minnesota. It's a new feature on
the show Danny G. Radio Here Tindarni Tips with our
buddy Danny G. Matt in Minnesota.
Speaker 6 (32:33):
Hey, guys, how's it going?
Speaker 5 (32:34):
All right?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
But what's up? Talk to me? What's your question?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
All right?
Speaker 6 (32:37):
My wife and I are having our first anniversary coming
up there at the end of Bay. She's not really
a flower or fancy dinner type of girl. What's your
advice for something to do for our anniversary?
Speaker 3 (32:48):
For a first annivers wedding anniversary? Yep, okay, you gotta
do a weekend away. You guys got kids.
Speaker 6 (32:57):
We got one three year old and one on the way.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
All right, family the babysit yep, okay, get a sitter,
do a weekend away surprise or don't let her know
where you're taking her. Pay attention to detail on this one,
from the moment the weekend starts to the moment the
weekend finishes. Make it super romantic planet so good. Don't
let her onto anything that you're you're you're doing. Don't
(33:20):
don't let her not You don't have to blindfold her
because you're not gonna put her in the trunk. All right, yeah, but.
Speaker 7 (33:26):
Let's get advice it. Don't put her in the trunk.
Don't handcoffer and put it in the trunk. Women love surprises.
Big Ben keyn On on a surprise getaway weekend for Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
All right, good, there you go, all right, there you
go to the matt and Minnesota. He's the casanova of
the Ben Mather Show. Danny g Radio. Blind Scott writes it.
He says, uh, what would you do or would you do?
What would you do? If the ladies are more interested
in your dog? About that? That's blind Scott? And what's it?
(33:57):
Kramer the dog? Cramer?
Speaker 3 (33:59):
That's right, yeah, blind Scott. That's why I roll with
pussy cats. Hell yeah, because if you're if you're a
cat guy, then right away girls think that you have
a sensitive side. That dog. Dudes don't have so, but
but he doesn't have a choice, right because it's a
service dog.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
But yeah, no, I think it's a good thing though.
I mean because they come to you to look at
the dog and then you're there.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Also also if they see you giving the dog treats
and treating the dog like it's your only son, blind Scott,
then they're gonna they'll give you the Oh it's so cute.
So use the dog to your advantage.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, that's yeah. The dog is a weapon. The dog
is a weapon. I know guys when I was back
in the back in the day, I knew guys that
had dogs, that hated dogs, but they knew when they
went to the park if they had the proper dog,
that it was like a magnet and the women would
come over there and do that. Let's say another call.
Alex is in so Cow. It is our man, Danny G.
(34:55):
That's you, Alex. It's Tinderoni Tips with Danny G. What's
going on out You're on Fox Sports.
Speaker 8 (35:01):
Radio bro doing yeahhy man, I gotta.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
All right.
Speaker 8 (35:09):
Me and my wife have been together for ten years now.
Only promise we have seven kids. What date night?
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Your last name Caramarty?
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Man? You have been productive. My man? How about you
got a lot of testosterone? My man? How about that?
All right? What's your what's your question?
Speaker 8 (35:24):
I need how I need you guys to tell to
have day night with my wife?
Speaker 3 (35:28):
All right?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Uh, you gotta have a date night. Yeah, another date
night question, Dan, and a lot of people want the dat.
It's not an anniversary though, he's got seven kids.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Hard to find a babysitter for seven kids?
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Split out, baby?
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Tell us the age range? How how old is the youngest?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
By five years old?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
And the oldest eleven? I would give the eleven year
old fifty bucks and call it a night.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Come on, man, you can't have an eleven year old
that Come on?
Speaker 5 (36:00):
Man?
Speaker 3 (36:00):
What do you you can't do?
Speaker 1 (36:02):
You're get in trouble, man, like that house will burn down?
What are you talking?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Used to call me the human remote control? That's what
kids are for. Yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Do you have family? And there's gotta be you gonna
have a lot of family. You gotta You're gonna have
to get like two sets of family. I would think, right,
you gotta like drop four here, three there, bam, bam.
I think what you need is a babysitting team. So
you're gonna have to save up a little bit. You're
gonna have to You're gonna have to hire two babysitters
for this job.
Speaker 8 (36:29):
That's the problem. I gotta spend one hundred bucks fifty
dollars at one house for dinner and fifty dollars another
house for dinners. Then I gotta pay for dinner.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
You gotta do it, man, Love is expensive.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
How about you do it? How about you tell your
wife we listen, we're we eat too much. Let's just
go out and walk around. We'll just go go out.
We'll walk around a little bit.
Speaker 8 (36:49):
That's not enjoyable, I.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Know, man, take her to wine tasting and you can
eat crackers. Yeah, and h are you?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
I gotta let you go bout seven. That's good luck,
as man. I guess I don't know what he said.
The eleven year old should just baby sait. Bob Garrett,
you got a question.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
I got a question here, Big Ben coming in on Twitter.
Will do it really quickly. Here George on Twitter. He says,
awesome segment, Danny, g I need four tenderronies for this
Labor Day weekend. Hashtag laid this weekend in ten seconds
or last what's your advice for George on Twitter?
Speaker 7 (37:29):
Protein, lots of it, lots of it, and a nap.
Wasn't he gonna have to just be on there non
stop swiping? I mean it said, and don't even bother swiping.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Just hit the green ex green green groover and over
and over and over again
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
A Everywhere and a very good Saturday. It is the
sixteenth day of December as we are recording this podcast,
The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio.
Because five nights a week or not enough on the
(00:52):
Ben Maler Show. And we thank you for following the podcast.
Tell a friend, give the gift of the podcast. Well,
I can't think of a better gift that people would want,
Danny then this podcast. And it doesn't cost you anything,
but it comes from the heart. It comes from the heart.
And then when they slap you and they treat you
like you know, you are Nurkic and they are Draymond Green,
(01:17):
you know it just it's their problem. It's not your problem,
it's their proplem.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah, I have a couple of those Valor Militia stickers
left over. So what I'm gonna do this Christmas is
put those in the kids stockings and then on their iPhones.
I'll send them a link to this podcast and there
you go. Christmas shopping finished.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
And a family tradition is born. And what a great
family tradition.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
And also be voted worst Dad of the year.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
No, no, I think Cole will not say anything. I
think it will be like, this is great, and this
is wonderful, thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
He might arf, though, he might barf.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Look it's kid barth though. So on this podcast we
have the Day the Laughter Died, Exciting where everybody knows
your name, Gremlin Hunters, the Idiom of the Week, and Backscratcher.
So that is supposed to be all of the great content.
(02:20):
But who knows. Maybe we won't get to all of
that content. But that's the plan. The plan is to
get to all of that stuff. But we'll begin with
this partying is is never a good thing. It's never
a good thing. So on the Overnight Show, we do
a segment on Fridays called Lame Jokes of the Week.
I've been doing this for years and listeners send in jokes.
(02:42):
I get so many jokes I can't use because they're
off color jokes, and we got to be careful these
days with all the wokesters who want to get you.
So we don't use a lot of those, but we
use lizo jokes and weed Man Hippie jokes. Those are
the two jokes we use a lot. America's favorite hobo
at it again. So weed Man Hippie is his name.
(03:04):
If you missed the show on Friday, I do recommend
going back and downloading our three because we got a
big scoop in the middle of our three. So if
you didn't listen, let me give you the brief recap
here the condensed recap. Over the past month, I have
been unable to get a hold of Weedman now. He
lives in Miami. We have a number for him. He
(03:28):
has been the laugh track on the show. Used to
be a regular caller, but now he's pretty much just
the laugh track for lame jokes. And he got ejected.
He got thrown out of his home in Miami, so
he's living on the streets now. He's looking for a place,
trying to get back into this program that'll give him
a free place to live. So he's down on his luck,
but he always answers my calls and he always wants
(03:51):
to be on the show because he uses the listeners
to try to get money. So as the laugh track
of the show, we started to get a little concern
because he wasn't answering his phone. It was going right
to voicemail. And then this week, a couple of days ago,
we call up his phone. I call up his phone
(04:11):
and the phone has been completely disconnected. So this is
a bad sign. So we had to activate the malor
investigative Arm. Yeah, we brought in the investigators to try
to get to the bottom of this. Where was Weedman
and a dateline Detective Land South Florida edition the Search
(04:34):
for Billy because that's that's his name, Billy. He goes
by the moniker weed Man. So I'll let you in
behind the curtain here. And this part is really we
really know laugh and matter. We have people that call
this show the Overnight Show, not this show. Nobody calls
this ship. But the people on the Overnight Show got
(04:55):
people that are part of society were sometimes they're alone,
they don't have a lot of family, down on their luck,
those kinds of situations. So they find the ship and
they become part of our little family. And then sometimes
we don't hear from them. We get concerned and so
we have to look. And the first place we look
(05:18):
we go right for the worst possible scenario. So we
looked at the We go to the morgues and try
to figure out, you know, names of people that just
died and see if we can find anybody.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
We have a lot of listeners there.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Unfortunately I have more people that are there than are
probably listening now. But we checked to see the recently deceased.
It's a sad reality now. Fortunately nobody buy the name
that we know, the real name, legal name of weed Man,
hippie croaked. Nobody croaked by that name in South Florida
(05:57):
that we could find. There were a number of peop
them at their untimely to mind, they were not named
the same name as we. So then after that, where
do you think we moved next?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Danny.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Once we've gone through the morgues to see who's died,
where do we go now?
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Hospitals?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
No, we no, we went police blotter. We went police
blotter because we were like, okay, so he's not dead.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Oh so you're thinking arrest before injury.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, because if he's in the hospital, his phone would
still be working, we assumed, right, So we're like, if
he's arrested, they might have done something.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
So yea, his phone could be inside an evidence bag exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So we moved to the police blotter and Bullseye ding
ding ding ding Ding. Kooperloop uncovered through the police blotter that, unfortunately,
the day the laughter died, but not weed Man. He
did not die. Our friend weed Man Hippie, back on
Novae number twenty fifth, was arrested in Miami Dade County
(07:06):
and his mugshot is all over the interweb now and
you might have seen it. Some of the fans of
the show have found it. Oh no, oh sure, yeah,
so weed Man Hippie. This is heightweight age, everything there.
He was arrested on three charges. Do you want to
hear the charges, Danny.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, I would love to, all right.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
So he was charged with tampering with physical evidence, attempted
tampering with physical evidence. He was charged with cannabis possession.
How appropriate is that? We'd Man Hippie was charged with
cannabis possession twenty grams or less. Also misdemeanor indecent exposure
(07:52):
that's Miami Beach, Sydney Ordnance. WHOA, yeah, so which of
those do you think is the most serious charge? The
decent exposure, that's what I thought, But believe it or not,
that's not I was shocked that they don't really care
about that. That's because I have the bond. The price
of bond here, the bond on indecent exposure is the lowest.
(08:15):
That's five hundred dollars bond.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
I guess there are used to lots of naked people
running around the streets there.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah, oh sure, South Beach. I mean you've been there.
I've been there where. It's quite the scene and cannabis
that shocking. People are still getting arrested for this, but
bond was a thousand. The big one is the tampering
with physical evidence. That is a felony. He's weet man,
He's fasing a felony charge and that bond is five
(08:44):
thousand dollars so in order for him to get out early,
and he did have a court date on Friday yesterday,
so I don't know what happened with that. I have
not seen that posted anywhere, but five thousand dollars bond
for the tampering with physical evidence, thousand dollars bond for cannabis,
and five hundred so that's sixty five hundred dollars. He's
(09:07):
got no money other than a couple of bucks the
government gives him every month because he's that poor. So
and he's gonna have a he's gonna have one of
those lawyers that are core assigned public defender that's not
gonna go well. So this is quite the mess, quite
the mess or our friend weed Man hippie. So we'll
see what happens. And I guess if he goes to jail,
(09:30):
that's where everybody knows his name, possibly right, maybe I
don't know. He's been arrested a few times. I love you.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Our holiday plans are gonna slightly be better than weed Ban's.
We've talked about Disneyland on this podcast the past few weekends,
and usually when they come up in conversation, it's about
the price, right. Yeah, So my better half she always
does this thing around this time of the year. She says,
(10:01):
you know how tight money is right now, And I'm
like yeah, She's like, let's make it even tighter by
planning a trip to Disneyland.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh boy, yeah, so her.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Big idea, All right, it'll cost less money if instead
of doing gifts, we just do a Disneyland trip on Christmas.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Wrong, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Not sure how much money it saved us, big Ben,
But we do have plans to go to the park
on Christmas Day and I guess the day after that.
So a two day journey inside Walt Disney's dream come true.
And his vision, of course, was not two hundred dollars
tickets for each person. But we paid that money. Now,
(10:44):
how did my wife he get that money for the tickets?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Rob banks?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
She didn't rob banks.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
OnlyFans, account No, no, OnlyFans.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
She didn't go back to her previous life in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Okay, show girl. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Instead she told me, all right, she's a travel agent.
She said, I'm gonna work the phones until I can't
work the phones no more.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, got some money.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Here, and my part, Ben of this trip, I'm going
to pay for all the food. All right. So that's
gonna be a hefty amount because.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Here's here's what.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Here's what.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
You just make a bunch of like peanut butter and
jelly sandwich is put in a locker. That's what that's.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yeah, some warm PBJ sandwiches in a Disneyland locker. I'm
sure that'll go over great with the family.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Oh no, you just point out. Listen, here's what we're
eating today. Here's what's on the menu.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
You know. Yeah, yeah, I wish it was that easy.
So I'm gonna have to budget quite a bit of
money here. But she said, look for me to get
the ticket money. All I need from you each morning
when you leave the school, go to the Starbucks and
bring me. Here's a life hack, boys and girls, if
you need a lot of energy, get a venty.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Black ice racist.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
No water, mango base. This is the potion. This is
the power potion. If she gets one of these into
her system, she could work the phones for hours, even
with the baby on her hip.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, how much does that cost? Is that a fifteen
dollars drink or something like that?
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Thank god, it's not. It's a five I think it's
four ninety five With a dollar tip. That's six bucks. Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
And here after that, you seize the day, right right?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
I go in there, Ben, this is now, I guess
like my fourth or fifth day in a row. And
the lady looks at me as I walk in and
she says, good morning, Daniel.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Oh me, WHOA, Like, no, they.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Freaking know my name in here? Now? Yeah, I feel
trapped now because I wasn't sure whether or not I
should be leaving tips for this overpriced drink and she's
having like these little take good morning conversations with me.
So now I feel obligated to leave a tip.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Oh she guilted you into a tip.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah, So on Friday, I was like, man, I gotta
gave her at least one dollar for each iced tea
that I've had the past couple of days. So I
gave her a crisp five dollars bill. But this is
what I don't like at these places. Ben. Instead of
her taking and I wanted her to have it, instead
of her putting it in her pocket, she put it
(13:29):
in that stupid plastic cube.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh yeah, I think why I think they're forced to
do that, aren't they.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
That's bullshit? I agree, And I don't want that money
going to the other knuckleheads there behind the counter right
through with you.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I mean, these companies have these policies. You can't take
any back. Like I've I've told the story on the
pocage before I've lost my wallet. Somebody's found my wallet
at the grocery store and I tried to give them
some money, and they're like, we can't take the money
I wanted. How can you not take the money? I
want to give you the money? I don't know you are,
and I like, the the worst we've talked about this
is the the kiosk that you go to at the
(14:04):
grid when you're checking out at the market and you're
the one that has to scan the groceries and all.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
That, And then these motherfuckers at Target and Walmart in
places like that, they'll have like only one or two
lanes open nowadays, even during the holidays, so they make
you scan all your own items. They make you do
all the work, and then you got to stand in
a line so they could check your receipt.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
And the funniest if you if you go to like Walmart.
Sometimes I'll go there and I'll just get like one
item and they still you have to have your receipt
like checked or like what's the point? You know, It's like,
there's like two things in my hand here. Am I
really stealing a thing of bananas? Is that really my move? Here?
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Come on, now, I got to figure out how to
pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for food. I'm doing
the malor math in my head already. I think I'm
gonna need for two days family of five. I think
I'm gonna need at least five hundred dollars for the
food and snacks.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I think over five hundred.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Damn yeah, I'm take the over on that.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Oh man, are.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You going to give them a budget every day?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yeah? Because every parent knows your kids are going to
drive you up a wall. As my mom used to say, can.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I have this?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Can I have that? So what you do is you
tell him you have this little budget, don't ask for anything.
Here's your allowance for the day. Now shut up and
have fun.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah. I guess Co's got his own own food. I
need to worry about that.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Thank god, he nurses for free.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
You go, you got you're savings some money on that.
Just wait a few years and it's over. We have
What do we have here? This is any meaning? Oh?
This story? I wanted to tell this story briefly on
the pod Gremlin Hunters, so as you know, ever since,
if you listen to the radio show, which I assume
(16:03):
you do because you're listening to this show and you're
hanging out with us. So since COVID, we have had
a hybrid schedule. Now for two years, we just I
did the show from home. We didn't.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
I never went to the.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Studio, but within the last year I go in usually
three days a week, sometimes less, sometimes more, depends on
my schedule. But it's a hybrid. So I'm at home
some of the time. I have a home studio, and
then I go into work. Let me talk about it.
It's got ops. So every once in a while I'll
be doing the show from home and everything goes to hell.
(16:38):
The thingama jig stops working, the watch McCall it can't
fix the thingama jig and the gizmo not lighting up,
and I get off, I get knocked off the air.
The broadcast line I use goes down. And it has
happened several times more than I would like. And so
I did raise Holy Hell for a while to try
(16:59):
to get a back cup line so this would never
happen again. There is a way to do it where
it'll never happen ingenuity, and I did get a little pushback.
I'm not gonna lie and I don't wanna go inside radio.
But I did get a little pushback. So then I
had a big broadcast line go down situation a couple
of weeks ago where I had like drive in. It
(17:21):
was I think Thanksgiving week if I remember, because Iowa
Sam was gone, so we had Mark was the engineer,
and it was a big mess. And so I of
course then complained some more. And the good news is
they have provided me Danny with a backup line, so
(17:42):
the Gremlin hunters have one battle. In fact, I actually
you probably heard me.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Yeah, I heard you testing the line while I was
on the air with Covino and Rich.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah. Yeah. So I had to get up early, which
I'm not normally up at that time. And our head
engineer a very fine gentleman named Currish, and.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
He's a joy. He loves his job.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yes he does, absolutely, and so curis. He told me
what I needed to get and he sent me a
few items, which I was shocked at that I needed
just a few things for the backup line. Now my
hope is I never use this line. My goal is
to never use this line, because now that I need it,
I'll probably never use it, right, isn't that the rule?
(18:25):
Like if you don't if you think you need something
and get it, you'll never use it.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Now, I don't want to go to technical or anything,
but do you have any idea how this backup line works.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
A little bit? It's not actually that difficult. It's it's
not that complex. It's a I don't get too much
into how how exactly it works, but.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
It's uh, you know, it's it's it's it's it's like
hardwired in Uh.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, so you can use a line. Uh, most of
our connections are internet based now, so this is not
Internet based. This is something you can you can use
the Internet, but it's got you.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
It's just like your personal batphone into the network.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Yeah. I was telling of selling the wife. I was like,
you know, we could probably use this like anywhere because
it doesn't need Internet. So I could like go, as
long as I have some kind of telephone connection, I
can get anywhere and do the show. So like mah,
start traveling, left, join it out, but klakey. I did
have somebody mentioned there's a great frenchy taco place. Now
(19:32):
that I mentioned I wanted to do a food review.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Daddy.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
The guys like, oh, Yeah, there's a place you got
to go. I got all these emails from people that
used to either are in LA or used to live
in LA. They're like, you got to go here. They
got the greatest you know, so and so and all
that stuff, like, Okay, we'll see what's going on. The
idiom of the week, the idiom of the week kind
of food related here, Spill the beans. Spill the beans,
(19:59):
the idiom of the week. And this actually dates back
to ancient Greece, and they're trying to figure out exactly
where the working hypothesis on this from what I was
able to uncover on the interweb, the term spill the beans,
which I like, well, what is it? What is this
all about? It goes back to ancient Greece, and it
(20:22):
supposedly derives from the council members and ancient Greece, the
way they did the election. Everyone that voted used they
used white beans for yes, that's racist. They used black
or brown beans for no. When they did a vote,
and so they would put the beans in a jar.
(20:46):
And when everyone had voted at this council in ancient Greece,
everyone's voting, and then they would spill the beans in
order to figure out who got all the yes votes
and who won. Oh, that's crazy, nuts, that's awesome. I
was like, wow, that's a really interesting origin. I wonder
(21:07):
when they stopped using beans. It's like, I don't know,
but the use of the verb spill, as in divulge
or let out, that's been around since the fifteen hundreds,
so long long ago, long long ago. So the idiom
(21:27):
of the week spill the beans, which is disposed a
secret or reveal something which goes all the way back
when you're saying that you're honoring ancient Greece elections, council
member elections, where the council members would vote with beans,
and that is the idiom of the week. Dude, I
(21:47):
have a little footie fund. Well, we'll get out on
foody fund. There's actually one story I really wanted to
get to and that involves I love ripoff items that
you can make at home that are just as good
as the product that you spend a shitload of money on.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, I still want to try your round table ripoff.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Oh I love the round table. I can send that
to you. This is Do you like McDonald's fries? Do
you like the McDonald's.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Don't eat them often because I know how salty and
bad they are for you. But as a treat once
in a while, probably once every six months, those are delicious.
When they're hot and fresh.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
They're wonderful. Did you know you can actually make the
McDonald's fries at home a McDonald's a former McDonald's executive
corporate chef. This We talked about this guy before because
he's he's spilled literally spilled the beans dandy, as we
just said on guy in Chicago. Yeah, the guys he's
(22:45):
like a YouTuber guy. Now he's the guy that told
us the big Max sauce you can get Walmart. Well,
you can also get McDonald's french fries at Walmart. Say what? Yeah,
here's what he said. The former McDonald's executive said, you
purchase Walmart frozen Great Value, thin cut French fried potatoes.
(23:08):
He says, the ingredients are almost identical to McDonald's french fries.
The key here is how you cook the fries to
get them to taste like McDonald's fries. And he goes
point by point, this guy, and he said, the oil
you use is very important for the fryer. You have
to cook these in small batches. But the key, he said,
(23:31):
is McDonald's adds beef flavoring to their oil blend to
cook the fries. So in order to mimic that this
guy used to be a big shot at McDonald's, said,
you have to add about two tablespoons of beef tallow
for every cup of oil. And if you do that,
he says, he recommends you cook the fries at three
(23:53):
point sixty the three hundred and seventy degrees and about
two minutes. Cooked the fries for about two minutes, and
he says that you'll get McDonald's fries. Uh, and you
know just kicked. You have to cook them in small batches.
He said, they're they're very efficient and you just stop
whenever you get the color you want of the fries.
(24:16):
So that's, uh, that's pretty cool. Yeah. He also, among
other items, he pointed out that at all.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
The you ever been to all the Yeah, I actually
was out one just a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
I like all thee but I hate that you have
to put quarters in to get your shopping cart.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
But they said season's choice hash brown patties are the
closest match on the market if you like McDonald's hash browns.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Oh, those things are greasy and deep fried. Growth.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah. He also said the Walmart great value fully cooked
original pork sausage patties and is the the closest to
the McDonald's product. And we mentioned the Big Big Mac sauce,
which is secret sauce at at Walmarts. This guy's a
gold mine. I do love my McDonald's fries like most people,
(25:07):
So I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy this on
my Walmart. I'm gonna buy a bag of these things,
is what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
And the next time we visit the Malor Mansion, I
am gonna request round table knockoff pizza and McDonald's knockoff fries.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
So here's the thing on the on the round table pizza.
The round table pizza is pretty good, but I have
absolutely nailed the garlic palmers on twists that that is
as good. The version I make is as good as
the round table version.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
So I'll do the marinara sauce to dip them in.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Yeah, we'll do the marin Era. I will make those
for you, Danny and your your lovely wife there and
CoA can have some if he you know, he can't
eat right now, but yeah, we'll have you. I'll make
some of those.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Those are those you have any apples, ben, he'll chew
on those. The very first solid human food that CoA tried.
This past week, he got his first apple. I mean
obviously he didn't chew on it, but he did suck
on the apple core.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Maybe you can suck on it and that'll make it better.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
And anytime my wife he took it away from him,
he screamed and cried, which means he liked it.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Oh good, Yeah, all right, And.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
So apple is the first thing we've introduced him to.
Obviously you got to go one thing out of time
to make sure they're not allergic to it.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah. Yeah, so you gotta put that in the baby book.
The first thing you ever for food apple.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Apple core check. Next on the list, chocolate.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Oh yeah, that's the move. Maybe you should have started
with the vegetables though, right, Maybe you started with the vegetables.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
No, we'll see if he likes the fudge bar from Costco.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Of course, come on, please, I think you know there
were some other footy stories. It's like new items. I
don't know if you're interested in the new items that
Windy and Starbucks and Taco Bell and places like that.
I did see McDonald's launched a new McRib deluxe sandwich
in Australia. What the hell is a deluxe McRib? I
(27:11):
don't I don't quite get that. There's gonna be gluten
free Golden Oreo cookies. I don't know that we need that,
but they say anyway, there's a there's a few new
items here and there. When he's offering a one cent
small Coca Cola drink as part of some promotion they're doing,
uh coming up here, and uh, I think we're a
(27:35):
little late, so we'll get out on that. I did
see Doritos made an alcoholic liquor that tastes like a
cheesy a cheesy chip. What that could that could be
dangerous too?
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Like yeah, yeah, because those are Once you open a
bag of those, it's hard to stop eating them. So yeah,
I drink yourself into a stupor.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
All right, it is Saturday? Ye, yeah, we put the
baby to bed here, Danny, What do you got going
on here on a Saturday? I know, Benny versus the
penny will be on all over the place. Again today,
so check your local TV listings for that. What do
you got going on a.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Day of rest after producing this fine podcast, I'm gonna
go back to sleep and catch up on some z's
and try to take it easy. Man. Before we have
a busy Sunday with the mail Bag, bill.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Bag, We get the mail Bag. We'll also have Pop
goes the Culture on Sunday. Have a wonderful rest of
your day and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Asta Pasta by flation. Hey, Hey, hey, let you go.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Tender only tips in a bit of a dry spell,
tinder Guru Danny G.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
Is here to give you have a romantic queer it
and you are under the age of fifty and you're
not freakyoing to the gut d in Thief, give up the.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Call as Cinderoni tips from Danny G Radio, a man
who is very active in the dating scene, an expert.
We will be interactive as well, So if you're on hold,
stay there and we're gonna take as many calls as
we can eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox Danny
G will give you his wisdom. I will start with
(29:31):
an email. This comes to us from Fat Guy in
the six to one nine OK, And he says, Danny,
I have been talking to this woman for about two
and a half months after a buddy introduced us to
each other. We have been talking over the phone, messaging
facetiming each other. I'm twenty five, she's thirty four. The
(29:54):
age does not bug me. This guy says, it's a
fact that she lives in Texas. I'm in Californi and
she's coming to California to see me for vacation on
the twenty fifth of the month. She recently threw a
curveball at me, this guy writes, and told me she's
a trust fund baby, what about that? And her grandfather
(30:16):
was the VP of a Dow Jones investment company. And also,
but this is long this email, keep him shorter. Also,
she said that if she gets married before she turns
thirty five in September, that she gets six million dollars
added to her x amount of money she's already guaranteed. Yeah,
I thought she was a huge liar, but I asked
(30:39):
my friend that hooked me up and everything checked out.
So with that being said, here's the question, Danny G Radio,
I need tips on how on not screwing myself when
she comes to me and what should I and what
should I do and what shouldn't I do? Appreciate any
tips and suggestions from you and the crew.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Wow, if we could all have such problems. Right, Yeah,
that's a good email. Well, first thing I would say,
once you do if things go well, and after this advice,
I'm sure things will go well. The Ben Mallor Show
would like to broadcast live from Maui. So if you
could hook that Maui. Yeah, I think because she has money,
(31:22):
you know, and and I know something about this. I
was with a woman for five years who made way
more money. So you gotta pay attention to the small things, right,
Women love the little things, So the things that are free.
Good sense of humor, sensitivity, being a gentleman that doesn't
cost anything monot Stay away from that one.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
What if you're not funny? Though, if you're not funny.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
There's a way to make a woman giggle at dinner. Yeah,
pay attention. Pay attention. Also, stay stay away from discussing
each other's finances. There fat was it? Fat guys? In
the sixth one?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Fat guy six one nine?
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Okay, over time, show her that you're responsible with your money. Okay,
because she's gonna see that you're fun, but mature and motivated.
When she sees that's the kind of person you are,
you'll be in Paris with her. Trust me, all right,
So good, good luck, so good advice.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
My advice, take her to Vegas and get married right
away before she changes her mind. That's my advice. Let's
go to Matt in Minnesota. It's a new feature on
the show Danny G. Radio Here Tindarni Tips with our
buddy Danny G. Matt in Minnesota.
Speaker 6 (32:33):
Hey, guys, how's it going?
Speaker 5 (32:34):
All right?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
But what's up? Talk to me? What's your question?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
All right?
Speaker 6 (32:37):
My wife and I are having our first anniversary coming
up there at the end of Bay. She's not really
a flower or fancy dinner type of girl. What's your
advice for something to do for our anniversary?
Speaker 3 (32:48):
For a first annivers wedding anniversary? Yep, okay, you gotta
do a weekend away. You guys got kids.
Speaker 6 (32:57):
We got one three year old and one on the way.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
All right, family the babysit yep, okay, get a sitter,
do a weekend away surprise or don't let her know
where you're taking her. Pay attention to detail on this one,
from the moment the weekend starts to the moment the
weekend finishes. Make it super romantic planet so good. Don't
let her onto anything that you're you're you're doing. Don't
(33:20):
don't let her not You don't have to blindfold her
because you're not gonna put her in the trunk. All right, yeah, but.
Speaker 7 (33:26):
Let's get advice it. Don't put her in the trunk.
Don't handcoffer and put it in the trunk. Women love surprises.
Big Ben keyn On on a surprise getaway weekend for Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
All right, good, there you go, all right, there you
go to the matt and Minnesota. He's the casanova of
the Ben Mather Show. Danny g Radio. Blind Scott writes it.
He says, uh, what would you do or would you do?
What would you do? If the ladies are more interested
in your dog? About that? That's blind Scott? And what's it?
(33:57):
Kramer the dog? Cramer?
Speaker 3 (33:59):
That's right, yeah, blind Scott. That's why I roll with
pussy cats. Hell yeah, because if you're if you're a
cat guy, then right away girls think that you have
a sensitive side. That dog. Dudes don't have so, but
but he doesn't have a choice, right because it's a
service dog.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
But yeah, no, I think it's a good thing though.
I mean because they come to you to look at
the dog and then you're there.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Also also if they see you giving the dog treats
and treating the dog like it's your only son, blind Scott,
then they're gonna they'll give you the Oh it's so cute.
So use the dog to your advantage.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, that's yeah. The dog is a weapon. The dog
is a weapon. I know guys when I was back
in the back in the day, I knew guys that
had dogs, that hated dogs, but they knew when they
went to the park if they had the proper dog,
that it was like a magnet and the women would
come over there and do that. Let's say another call.
Alex is in so Cow. It is our man, Danny G.
(34:55):
That's you, Alex. It's Tinderoni Tips with Danny G. What's
going on out You're on Fox Sports.
Speaker 8 (35:01):
Radio bro doing yeahhy man, I gotta.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
All right.
Speaker 8 (35:09):
Me and my wife have been together for ten years now.
Only promise we have seven kids. What date night?
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Your last name Caramarty?
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Man? You have been productive. My man? How about you
got a lot of testosterone? My man? How about that?
All right? What's your what's your question?
Speaker 8 (35:24):
I need how I need you guys to tell to
have day night with my wife?
Speaker 3 (35:28):
All right?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Uh, you gotta have a date night. Yeah, another date
night question, Dan, and a lot of people want the dat.
It's not an anniversary though, he's got seven kids.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Hard to find a babysitter for seven kids?
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Split out, baby?
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Tell us the age range? How how old is the youngest?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
By five years old?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
And the oldest eleven? I would give the eleven year
old fifty bucks and call it a night.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Come on, man, you can't have an eleven year old
that Come on?
Speaker 5 (36:00):
Man?
Speaker 3 (36:00):
What do you you can't do?
Speaker 1 (36:02):
You're get in trouble, man, like that house will burn down?
What are you talking?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Used to call me the human remote control? That's what
kids are for. Yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Do you have family? And there's gotta be you gonna
have a lot of family. You gotta You're gonna have
to get like two sets of family. I would think, right,
you gotta like drop four here, three there, bam, bam.
I think what you need is a babysitting team. So
you're gonna have to save up a little bit. You're
gonna have to You're gonna have to hire two babysitters
for this job.
Speaker 8 (36:29):
That's the problem. I gotta spend one hundred bucks fifty
dollars at one house for dinner and fifty dollars another
house for dinners. Then I gotta pay for dinner.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
You gotta do it, man, Love is expensive.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
How about you do it? How about you tell your
wife we listen, we're we eat too much. Let's just
go out and walk around. We'll just go go out.
We'll walk around a little bit.
Speaker 8 (36:49):
That's not enjoyable, I.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Know, man, take her to wine tasting and you can
eat crackers. Yeah, and h are you?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
I gotta let you go bout seven. That's good luck,
as man. I guess I don't know what he said.
The eleven year old should just baby sait. Bob Garrett,
you got a question.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
I got a question here, Big Ben coming in on Twitter.
Will do it really quickly. Here George on Twitter. He says,
awesome segment, Danny, g I need four tenderronies for this
Labor Day weekend. Hashtag laid this weekend in ten seconds
or last what's your advice for George on Twitter?
Speaker 7 (37:29):
Protein, lots of it, lots of it, and a nap.
Wasn't he gonna have to just be on there non
stop swiping? I mean it said, and don't even bother swiping.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Just hit the green ex green green groover and over
and over and over again
Host
Ben Maller
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