February 23, 2025 • 35 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. have Mail Bag fun for your Sunday! All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!"
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me Ben
Maller and Danny g Radio and Happy Sundays. Sundays Sundays,
we hang out together. On the twenty third day of February,
early early, early, it's National Hospitality Workers Appreciation Day. I
(00:53):
don't even know what that means. I kind of do
know what that means, but there you go, celebrate appropriately.
And it's National Banana Bread Day today, so celebrate eating
banana bread. When your bananas go bad, make banana bread,
do not throw do never throw the bananas away. And
you can also celebrate with a tutsi Roll's big day
for tutsi rolls today as well.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I think both things came from the Great Depression, the
tutsi roll and the banana bread. Oh yeah, the banana bread.
I know, the banana bread. Did I think the Tutsi
role was popular for great grandparents?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yes, my grandfather loved the Tutsi roll, loved it, loved it.
It starred. You want some tushy Tucci Tutsi.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Rollshy how your family got started?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, well, there you go. That's funny. It's national Tutsy
roll today. So here's some fun facts on Tutsi rolls.
Leo Hirshfield, an immigrant, opened his candy shop in Brooklyn
in eighteen ninety six and he sold this jelly powder thing.
(02:00):
In nineteen oh seven, he submitted the patent for the
development of what became the Tutsi role. He named the
candy after his daughter, Claire, whose nickname was Tutsi. So,
all right, there you go Tutsi and became very popular
right away. So this guy in nineteen oh seven got
(02:23):
the patent and by nineteen oh eight they were selling everywhere.
And then this guy made a fortune selling Tutsi roles
and then sold the company later on and the rest
is history. But it was born nineteen oh seven and
(02:44):
named after the daughter, and it's been tremendously popular.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
That was crazy because last weekend. On the flight home
from San Jose to lax CoA, sabb bust out a
tutsi role up and man Brenda gave me the side
eye because she didn't want him having a sticky candy,
but he held it like a pro. I just texted
(03:10):
you the photo I took while we were taking off.
He's holding his very first fitzi roll pop en. Did
he enjoy the experience?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Man? The problem was we thought he was going to
choke to death on this thing because he shoved it
in his mouth and then just held it there, trying
to devour the entire tutsi roll pop.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh, I see, I'm looking at the photo here. Yeah,
he looks so very He looks confident and satisfied and
happy at the same time. He's got all a lot
of them.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah, got the stick He turned into a pro quickly.
And they say, how many bites to the center of
the Titsi roll pop? Well, for CoA, it was two bites.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Two bites, that's all you need right there, but two bites.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
And then his mom took it away and said, don't
you ever take one of those out in front of
him again.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Dah man, Mom, He's got to be the party pooper,
bad job.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah, I'm always in trouble.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Ah man, oh they uh you mentioned World War Two,
which you for the Tutsi role. Tutsi roles were included
as a ration during World War Two because they didn't sport.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It makes sense, and I think in some of our
Halloween bags we got Tutti roles that were still from
that same war.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
World War Yeah. Yeah, Frank Sinatra supposedly loved Tutsi roles.
He was a big fan of the Tutsi roll. Wow.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah, how come in the in the pop they taste good,
But just the Tutsi roll itself, you know, the long ones,
especially if they were hard Tutsi roll. Yeah, grohost man,
I mean you you threw those away, right, or you
try to give them away.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So you just said you don't like the long and
hard ones.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Is that what you did? You just that's not what
I said.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Sounded like what you said there.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I said it in two separate sentences. Oh you did.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I don't know. I can edit that together. We'll get
that out right there. Let's have a mind time, all right,
Let's get to the actual mail bag. These are actual
letters by actual people from all over God's Green Earth.
It's mail Bag, and we thank you in advance for
(05:27):
submitting a question and being part of the show. If
you would like to send a correspondence in for a
future episode of the mail Bag, you can do that
care of Reeal fifth Hour at gmail dot com. That's
real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. And first up
we go to San Diego. We was just talking about
(05:48):
that yesterday the San Diego Zoo. Dave in San Diego
rights and he says, hey, Ben and Danny, I saw this.
I thought of you two guys. The Border Patrol has
seen more people smuggling eggs on the southern border because
of the ridiculous prices that are being charged for eggs
at stores like Costco and whatnot. You guys want to
(06:10):
get in on a little side hustle as we bootleg eggs.
Dave in San Diego, how much money you think we
can make at this? That's my father, my grandfather. Now
this is a story I heard as a kid. I
don't know if it's true or not, but there was
like a family legend. I think somebody might have been
just trying to impress me that my grandfather, during a
(06:32):
prohibition at least a couple of times did some bootleg
to bring and he was living in Massachusetts and he'd
go up to Canada get some booze and bring it back.
That's the legend in the family. Nice.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
So I think, Dan, all these years later, you go
to Costco and get Kirkland brand outoll for your get togethers.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Yes, yes, well we've come a long way, baby, But no,
I think we could go down to Tijuana on like
Tuesday morning and then get a truck. I'll rent a truck,
we'll fill it up with eggs, and then we'll come
back and we'll stand outside Costco and we'll whisper to people,
I got eggs, eggs, egzag, you know, something like that,
(07:14):
and then Dave can be the middle man. He can Actually,
I guess Dave could go to Tijuana get the eggs.
But they're still cheap in Tijuana, right, That's what I heard.
They're in Mexico. They're still cheap, but here they're not
luinging eggs. Think of all the eggs we wasted as kids.
Oh yeah, yeah, In fact, yeah, my wife was pointing
out some of the people are still getting egged. You know,
(07:36):
kids are still egging other kids. That's a much more
expensive prank now than we were little, right when we
were in high school and you'd egg somebody's car or
something like that, or or their house. But now you
can't be doing that, which it doesn't eggs.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, I can't toilet paper people's homes anymore either, unless
you take out a small loan.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, that's blasphemy. You can't do it, especially after the
COVID thing. That's the most valuable resource we have in
a global disasters, toilet paper, bottle of water, and now
it's eggs. John from Hartford, Connecticut writes, and he says, Guys,
I don't know if you saw this story this week,
but as a proud resident of Connecticut, I wanted to
(08:16):
get your thoughts on it. And he sent me a
link to a story that says the state of Connecticut
is trying to convince the United States all the other
states that it is the pizza capital of the United States.
So when you think of pizza, Danny, and this is
not the question from John, he just want to know
(08:37):
our thoughts. So when you think of pizza, what do
you think of When I think of pizza, I think
of Chicago, and I think of New York. When I
think of pizza in America, I do not think the
first thing I think of it New York. I think
of New York pizza, but I also think of Chicago
Deep dish pizza. The state. According to the story what's
(08:58):
his name, John sent they found that there are thirteen
hundred and seventy six pizza restaurants in Connecticut, and New Haven,
Connecticut has sixty three of them. And they claim that
Connecticut leads the national rankings when it comes to pizzeria's
per capita locally owned establishments. So they're pumping this up here, Danny,
(09:23):
that per capita they are nambarwan. And this story has
a link from the state controller or no, not straight controler,
the state comptroller. I don't know what that is in Connecticut,
and it highlights the multi billion dollar pizza industry in Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Have you seen that meme about Pittsburgh. They have a
Pittsburgh style pizza where they bank the dough and then
they put raw ingredients, all the ingredients uncooked on top
of the baked dough.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is the thing. I thought that
was fake, but it's it's legit. I don't I don't
think it's all over Pittsburgh. I think it's like a
little small part of Pittsburgh. But it's disgusting.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
It is.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, they put cold cheese and the pepperoni or whatever
on there. Yeah, nasty, that's brutal.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Man.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So they say number of pizza restaurants, and then per
ten thousand people, they say that Connecticut is number one,
Like we're in California, we do the show from LA
it's forty fortieth. New York is fourteenth. They've got they've
got a graph. This is what John, your tax dollars
are doing there in Connecticut. You're you're you're getting graphs
(10:41):
on pizza restaurants from the State Comptroller Office for the
state of Connecticut. And it's kind of per highest family
owned independent pizza restaurants Connecticut at seventy eight point eight.
This is unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
I mean, this is well, they need something and to
rept their state, not just Aaron Ornandez oh Man.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
That's that's nuts. This goes us six pages of pizza propaganda,
six pages of it. That is that is wild to me.
So no, I appreciate you sending me the story.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
John.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I did not see that this week in my copious
amounts of research for the show. But there it is
Connecticut the pizza capital, unless it's not.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Now.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Connecticut's where a lot of people that live in New
York or work in New York live, and then they
drive into the city or take the train into the city,
and then they go back. And I briefly worked in
Connecticut for a year. I had a job at NBC.
This goes back twelve thirteen years ago. I think it's
been longer than that, even it's twenty twenty five. But
(11:51):
we had a gig in in Connecticut. We flew back
there every every month for a year and did the
TV once like for a week. And I don't remember
the pizza being amazing. I mean it was fine, it
was whatever. And I did eat at Bobby V's restaurant
(12:12):
a lot. Bobby Valentine the the manager of the Mets
and the he's I think he's still a broadcaster for
the UH for the what do you call it the Angels, right,
I mean last year he was I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Know if it still is. What did you have to
do there when Aaron Hernandez had you sworn into his gang?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Well, you know it, you know he did most of
the work, Danny, I didn't have to do much.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
It was yeah, you're at the lookout.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Thank you for the story. But I think, do you
think I'm looking right now to see if Bobby V's
is still open? I was wondering. It's been been a
long time since I've been there. It's in Stanford, Connecticut,
which is most famous Stanford, Connecticut for being the headquarters
of Professional the WWE has their world global offices in Stamford, Connecticut.
(13:07):
But there are two locations, three locations, No, no, no, two
locations of Bobby Bobby V's. Okay, what is next? Alf
from the powder room rights into the mail bag. He says,
have either of you, gentlemen, ever reached your move goal
on your Apple Watch while dropping a deuce on the toilet?
I'm asking for a friend humble brag bucket list from
(13:31):
Alf in the powder room. No, No, I have not.
I have started to work out more since the TV
show ended, but I do not recall ever while partaking
on the throne there crossing over the rubicon. I do
not think that's happened. Alf also says, I'm not really
(13:52):
that bad at scrabble? Is that how you treat all
your radio friends. Yeah, so, Alf, A couple of fans
of the show have hooked up with me on the
Scrabble game on the iPhone and the smartphone and all that,
and so far I'm not lost to a listener. That's
a bit of my passion. Alf is the game. I'm
(14:16):
in it to win it, and so Alf and Noah
in Austin, I have been partaking in Scrabble playing those guys,
and I'm absolutely destroying Alfie.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, well, it would probably help if we're smarter than
a fifth grader?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
How dare you, Danny g Alf?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Well, no, that's a new game coming out soon, right,
I want to see how many of your listeners are
smarter than a fifth grader?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Well, or smarter than the FSR Tech Queen, which is
I think, like yeah exactly, maybe like third grade. I
don't know, who knows that.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Do you think you will ever get beaten by a
listener at Scrabble? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah, I mean I don't play great every game. I'm
sure there's I might even lose to alf who knows
or Noah. I'm doing well right now. See these guys,
they'll get me, you know. We play over a couple
of days I'm not on my phone all the time
playing scrabble. But at some point they're going to catch
me where I'm kind of distracted and I'm not paying
that close attention, and then I'm cooked and and I'll lose.
(15:22):
I mean I do lose every once in a while.
JJ from Jacksonville writes in he says, hey, Ben and
Danny like the pod, you think they should put gators
in the sewers in La in Vegas to keep people
out like we have here in Florida. And he sent
me a story where there's research out this week that
(15:43):
thousands of animals, including hundreds of alligators and snakes, are
living in the Gainesville sewage system. They are hunting, they
are traveling, they are living their lives. They are breeding
inside the ground of Jacksonville, the sewage system.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
That must be chicken beer bear and getting it on
underneath the street there.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
It's like teenage mutant ninja turtles. But it's the real deal.
And these these gators not, of course, crocodiles. These are
American gators, not the crocodiles which are common in Florida.
They normally reside in marshes, swamps, rivers, farms, farm ponds
and lakes, and they aren't the only the only ones
(16:31):
known to roam there, they said. According to an urban naturalist,
the reptiles were recently documented traveling throughout the sewage system
along with a bunch of other animals. The story from
actually the BBC they had all kinds of different reptiles
and amphibians that were just cruising around there. And what
(16:51):
if you have to go in there, Like, aren't there
people that work for the city of Gainesville that have
to go in there and like clean fixed stuff. You
imagine surrounded by gators and give you a We'll give
you like a gun and some pepper spray or something.
You'll be good.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
If it was our company, they would just give you
a FEMA card.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, yeah, you'll be good. Yeah, he's you're fine, you're
protecting up.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Here's a FEMA card. Go to work.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah, be happy, be happy now, be happy now. Next
up is Mike in Fullerton. He says, Yo, Ben and
Danny g Have either of you seen this video making
the rounds on AX about a day in the life
of is he the Corgy? And then he sent the
link here. It's the most horrible thing I've seen in years.
Does it make you, guys wish you had a corgy?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
This is you know, this is This is the video
clip of a former FSR employee, part of the Alumni
Association at the Great Corgy Race at Santa Anita Park
and Mike, I'm starting to think that the Mic and
Fullerton account is actually Ryan Finley and it's his burner
(18:02):
account and he's created this character Mike and Fullerton. Does
anyone think that that's possibility, anybody other than me?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Man, daddy, Yeah, And then he says, next time, Ben,
you get swarm by a bunch of AI girlfriend body accounts,
can you please send a few my way in a
bit of a dry spell. Thanks, that's from Mike. Yeah,
so Mike and Fullerton, he made a joke about AI
(18:33):
I needing an AI girlfriend or something along those lines.
And so what happened was all the AI girlfriend accounts,
they're all automated and they just search for AI girlfriend.
And since Mike tagged me in that post, I was
getting endless messages from the AI girlfriend accounts on social media.
(18:56):
And this seemingly is a pretty big business. There's some
money to be made there. I remember we talked about
the story of some people that created a really hot
looking AI woman and they're making money with her as
an influencer, and she has supposedly millions of people following her. Now,
(19:18):
I continue to be a skeptic, a massive skeptic when
it comes to the number of followers. Like there's more
people on Instagram than there are in the world, right
if you look at the number of Instagram accounts and
how many people have a million followers, and like, the
math just doesn't work out. Even if you use malor math,
(19:41):
it doesn't really work out. But anyway, listen, that's great,
that's wonderful. Congratulations. I'm a skeptic. I am just a
skeptic by nature, and it's the matrix and all that,
and that's that's where I stand. That is where I stand.
Any thoughts on that, Danny.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I was just thinking about this would have come in
handy possibly for you back when you were in the
dating world.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Yeah, even then. I always try to find real women,
you know, not the not the fake ones.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
But uh, you know, but this generation right now, like
they're they're fine just having a relationship or talking to
a digital voice like you see the ads now for
the for the new phones that are out where you
can just have a conversation and get advice from an
(20:34):
AI like that seems to be the wave of the
future right now. God, do you see that ad right
where that guy is getting ready for his job interview?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, come on, don't you you need real,
like real the real human connection, don't you? Maybe not?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Well no, I mean we maybe we're old schools so
we did. But the kids nowadays that I think they're
going to be okay having robots.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yikes. Barry the Great Barry yo yo Ma Benny from
South Carolina for now until he moves somewhere else. He says,
This Bill Miller guy is terrible at tossing to you.
I think you need to have a heart to heart
with him. Maybe he should toss to you using one
of your twenty five hundred nicknames as an example, it
(21:23):
would be something like, now, back to Benny the Bopper. Yeah,
back to the Great, to Benny the Bopper. That's a
fine idea, and I will have a meeting with that.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
H It's a really bad idea. No.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
No, Bill Miller is an algorithm, So all we have
to do is type a few words into the algorithm
and all of a sudden he will start spinning out.
Mallard nicknames such as the spin Master of misinformation, the
bannering Broadcaster, the Beethoven of vs. The Curmudgeon of commentary,
the Chasm of sarcasm, how about shut up? The tsarev Zany,
(21:58):
the dark Knight of week night sports radio, the Molul
of mischief, Benny the brazen King of z Moneyball Mailler,
Benny the Bomb. But he's ever called you that facisis fox?
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Benny?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
The bopper at the PA Guy Dodgers Stadium called me
that a facisis fox. Sultan of insulted, the Shaman of Schotenfreude,
the sensitive Sniffer, jumping Jack of wisecrack inside of overnight Medicine,
Man Mallard, the Neighbo of negativity, the Sage of outrage,
the Pinnacle of cynegal princip preposterous I rotate nuts, the
(22:37):
Professor of propaganda, the hisz ar A look at.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
The clock, the podcast is on the stover. Oh no,
we have endless time in podcasting.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
The floating turd of the spoken word, and the mad
Hatter of sports chatter and that's not even all my nicknames, Danny.
That's only half my nicknames. I have other ones as well.
We can let Bill Miller know about this podcast and
then then Bill Mill will be good. Yes, they'll use
them now. No, thank you, Barry. Appreciate that. Kevin in
(23:08):
Kansas rites in and says you're Ben and Danny G.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Ben.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You recently mentioned having a camp like t Higgins if
you really had one, what would Camp Mallard and Camp
Danny G look like. Well, as you know, Kevin, I
was using the ancient art of sarcasm to mock and
lampoon the T Higgins camp. I always get a kick
(23:34):
out of this time of the year, we talk about
NFL free agency and teams are trying to upgrade, they're
trying to improve, players are trying to get paid, and
then you have some teams that stand pat but the
players stories that are leaked from someone in player x's camp.
And I always laugh at that, Like, you're an athlete,
(23:54):
you get to a point where you have a camp,
like a traveling band of merry men and women that
travel around with you. It just is so stupid. And
it was like I did this rant. I was like, well,
how do you become how do you become part of
a camp? What if you want to break up the camp?
What do you do with the camp? Where does the
camp go? You know that kind of thing. I did
(24:15):
that whole whole rant, which I still think is amusing.
But Camp Mallard would be like Camp Snoopy be a
lot of fun. There'd be some rides there, but they
wouldn't be scary rides and the weather would be pretty
good all the time, like something like that. What about
Camp Danny G, Danny what would that be?
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I think you said Camp Snoopy.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You know there's also robberies there and our jackings.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I thought Magic Mountain was the one that was the
that's all.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
That's another one. Remember they had to shut down the
concerts there.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yeah, there's people going there, and they was like, let's
do some you know, do some whatever, and we'll do it.
It's bad stuff, and we'll go to Magic Mountain to
do it, because that's when you want bad stuff, you
go to where there's roller coasters. That's where you do
the bad stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Yeah, damn, Danny G. I think I would recruit JaMarcus
Russell to host my camp. He would teach all the
kids how to make and drink purple drink. He'd be
the bar and then he teach them how to lounge
on the job.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Well, no one did it better. No one did it
better in his era than your guy, JaMarcus Russell. One
of the great Raiders of all time, and he was
a franchise changing player. He was so bad the team
left Oakland. If think about it, if JaMarcus Russell had
been good and lived up to the hype as a
number one overall pick, then at some point the Raiders
(25:38):
would have gotten the money they needed to build a
stadium and would still be the Oakland Raiders and would
not have left to go to to Vegas. Well they
left years later. You don't know that. Well, no, but
do the math, because they wanted a stadium even when
JaMarcus Russell was there. What was Russell was there probably
in the eight around that time. Yeah, so they.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
You're saying that he could have been there, Barry Bonds,
they could have built a stadium on his back.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Well yeah, or in Seattle, remember the Mariners, there were
rumors they were going to leave in Ken Griffy Junior
and the Mariners they went on this playoff run in
the This goes back to the mid nineties, but they
got a new stadium. They've been playing the Kingdome and
they wanted something new and they got the money they
needed because of this playoff run with Ken Griffy Junior.
So I'm just saying, just pointing that out. Next up
(26:27):
on the mail bag is Hank in Tokyo. He says,
good speaking to you during the show somewhat recently, and
then he references a previous episode of the show and
he says, you did Big Ben's Big Board. Now not
a list. He said this on the podcast last week
and now of the top single episodes of TV viewing
(26:47):
audiences final episode of Mash being the top Dog probably
just a slip of the tongue with justin case. The
setting of Mash was the Korean police action, not the
Vietnam conflict or as you said, the Vietnam War. Yes, Hank, Danny,
Hank's in Tokyo. Is that guy? You know, that guy
(27:10):
that has to touch up your work, to touch up
your work guy, that's Hank. And then he sent another complaint.
He said, a couple months ago, you did a word
of the week with ostracize or a synonym. He said,
I don't undred percent remember, and then he was upset
that I did not mention Socrates. That I should have
(27:34):
mentioned an example of Socrates. It never came. And so,
Hank is.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Here's my advice for Hank. He should have an after
after show where he just touches up all your work.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
That's a great idea, Hank. You could do your own podcast,
the bridge called the Bridge to Nowhere, and you can
do your podcast and just correct everything that I say,
just one after another.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Call it the Bill Miller Department of Corrections.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yes, the Bill Miller Corrections Retractions Department. Absolutely, thank you,
Thank you. Hank Hanks the listener that my boss used
to tell me about years ago. He said, Ben, if
you want to know if people are listening, if you're
not getting a lot of feedback to something you're doing,
make an obvious error on the show and people will run.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Work in your case, just be yourself.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
How dare you? People will run to contact you, and
you will find out just how many people are listening,
because there's nothing the consumer of audio content likes more
than correcting the blowhard on the radio. So if you're
not getting a lot of negative feedback or positive feedback,
and you want some, just make a small error and
(28:47):
all of a sudden you'll be amazed at what happens.
Mike in Wisconsin wrights and says, guys, I thought of
your show when I saw this story. You talk about
these kind of things quite a bit, and this is
another one to add to the show. And Mike sent
a story. I don't know if this came up on
Covino and Rich this year, A flaming hot or this week. Rather,
(29:08):
a flaming hot cheeto that looks like a character from
a very popular game series. The character Charizard will be
auctioned off for thousands of dollars. Yeah, a Pokemon looking
character and this thing's going to be auctioned off for big,
(29:34):
big money.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Exhitt. I mean we were in for Dan Patrick and
Colin Cowherd. We were doing hard oh sports all week.
You were a sporto, guys. I got you, unless we weren't.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
The cheeto in question was pulled out of a bag
sometime between twenty eighteen and twenty twenty two, got a
lot of attention and became just known on the internet
and all that. The bidding opened up at two hundred
and fifty dollars, and the price was up to twenty
one hundred dollars more than a week to go. The
(30:08):
auction wraps up on March first. March first, so you
can you still have time to bid on this. So Danny,
if you want to get this as an investment for
your son, this is a great collectible.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
It'd be great to make the final bid and then
just pop it in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It's like that, didn't that happen with the banana guy?
I remember the banana nailed to the wall guy? Didn't
he eat the banana? The guy that bought the art
didn't he eat it or something? I think we talked
about that, right, remember that story.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, I don't know if you need it.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I thought he did. I thought this guy had so.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Much money eat it.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, we need enough, Just not that I thought he did.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
We've seen lots of jokes after that with people ripping
the banana off the wall and taking a bite of it.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah. Free time do you have and how much money
do you have? Where you're like, you know what I
need to do? I need to not only do I
need this, I have to bid on it. Like what
is that we'll get out on this last one, Stan,
He says, I'm not the man, just a man and
a fan in Phoenix.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Thank you. Stan.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
He says with the news out this week that President
Trump is going to discontinue the Penny, or at least
that's the plan and his claim. Now, Stan says that
this is a sign of the end times prophecy, and
then he wanted us to expand on that that. I
(31:40):
guess this is one of the preachers, one of the evangelists.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Oh man, your your TV bosses, Benny, your TV bosses
are hating this story. They're like, shit, we got to
rebrand everything, Benny versus the Nickel.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
No, no, no, no, no, no no. We've got it all
planned out. We actually talked about this on the TV
show Danny. It'll be Benny versus the Penny is going
to be we'll get rid of the penny and pennell
Me versus a pasta what and we'll be tossing the
pasta up in the air and depending on how much
of the pasta falls on which side, that's what we're
(32:15):
going to do. But yeah, this is this is great.
Anything to get money, right. I don't know who I
see the story that you sent me here, Stan, not the.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Man, just a man.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
And yeah, I think I think we'll be okay. I
think we'll be all right. And I told the people
at NBC, I said, listen, Benny versus the penny is
more of a unique name. Now, it's good for the
brand if they get rid of the penny, because people say, oh,
I thought they got rid of the penny. No, they
didn't get rid of the penny. It's Benny versus the penny.
(32:47):
That's all you need right there, Benny versus the penny.
You're good to go. That's it. Boom boom boom boom
boom boo.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
But then there'd be all these discontinued jokes though, have
land mines around your feet.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
People are called the schmucks, is what those people are.
We'll get out of that. I will be back tonight
with a brand spanking new edition of The Overnight Show,
The Ben Malor Show. A new week of programming will
be here. We look forward to that. And Danny, what
do you have going on here? Anything you would like
to promote? Is it a regular week this week? Is
(33:21):
it something else? What do we got going on?
Speaker 3 (33:23):
So we are filling in on the Ben Mallor Show,
and then we're filling in on the Doug Gottliep Show. Finally,
it's just going to be a regular week from five
to seven pm on the East Coast, and that is
two to four pm in beautiful Pismo Beach, California.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
One of the great spots to visit, Pismo Beach. I
haven't been there in a little bit, not that long ago,
but I know the sun is starting to shine a
little bit here. We got to get back up to
the coast.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
And by the way, the Ben Maler Show, if you're
listening in Honolulu nine o'clock at nine pm, the show
starts in Honolulu, and if you're in London, the show
starts and Terry's not in London. He's in England, but
not in London proper. The overnight show, for my math
is correct. It's a morning show in London, so it
(34:18):
starts it's eight London's eight hours ahead of la so yeah,
it's like seven in the morning or something like that.
My math is right.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You can put that on your resume that you do
morning drive and you wouldn't be lying.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, I do afternoon drive. Actually I do it middays
in China because Beijing is sixteen hours ahead. So I've
got that down in Sydney, Australia where Afternoon Drive in
Sydney were doing Afternoon Drive. Anyway, all right, have a
wonderful rest of your Sunday. Thank you for supporting the
Fifth Hour podcast. Don't forget. If you like the mail
(34:53):
bag and you think you have something you want to
send us for a future edition and you don't want
to rewind, go back to when I gave the address
at Real fifth hour at gmail dot com. And we'll
catch you on the podcast next weekend. But we'll both
be on the radio. I'll be on tonight, Danny tomorrow.
We'll see you there later.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Skater gotta murder. I gotta go
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me Ben
Maller and Danny g Radio and Happy Sundays. Sundays Sundays,
we hang out together. On the twenty third day of February,
early early, early, it's National Hospitality Workers Appreciation Day. I
(00:53):
don't even know what that means. I kind of do
know what that means, but there you go, celebrate appropriately.
And it's National Banana Bread Day today, so celebrate eating
banana bread. When your bananas go bad, make banana bread,
do not throw do never throw the bananas away. And
you can also celebrate with a tutsi Roll's big day
for tutsi rolls today as well.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I think both things came from the Great Depression, the
tutsi roll and the banana bread. Oh yeah, the banana bread.
I know, the banana bread. Did I think the Tutsi
role was popular for great grandparents?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yes, my grandfather loved the Tutsi roll, loved it, loved it.
It starred. You want some tushy Tucci Tutsi.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Rollshy how your family got started?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, well, there you go. That's funny. It's national Tutsy
roll today. So here's some fun facts on Tutsi rolls.
Leo Hirshfield, an immigrant, opened his candy shop in Brooklyn
in eighteen ninety six and he sold this jelly powder thing.
(02:00):
In nineteen oh seven, he submitted the patent for the
development of what became the Tutsi role. He named the
candy after his daughter, Claire, whose nickname was Tutsi. So,
all right, there you go Tutsi and became very popular
right away. So this guy in nineteen oh seven got
(02:23):
the patent and by nineteen oh eight they were selling everywhere.
And then this guy made a fortune selling Tutsi roles
and then sold the company later on and the rest
is history. But it was born nineteen oh seven and
(02:44):
named after the daughter, and it's been tremendously popular.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
That was crazy because last weekend. On the flight home
from San Jose to lax CoA, sabb bust out a
tutsi role up and man Brenda gave me the side
eye because she didn't want him having a sticky candy,
but he held it like a pro. I just texted
(03:10):
you the photo I took while we were taking off.
He's holding his very first fitzi roll pop en. Did
he enjoy the experience?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Man? The problem was we thought he was going to
choke to death on this thing because he shoved it
in his mouth and then just held it there, trying
to devour the entire tutsi roll pop.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh, I see, I'm looking at the photo here. Yeah,
he looks so very He looks confident and satisfied and
happy at the same time. He's got all a lot
of them.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah, got the stick He turned into a pro quickly.
And they say, how many bites to the center of
the Titsi roll pop? Well, for CoA, it was two bites.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Two bites, that's all you need right there, but two bites.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
And then his mom took it away and said, don't
you ever take one of those out in front of
him again.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Dah man, Mom, He's got to be the party pooper,
bad job.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah, I'm always in trouble.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Ah man, oh they uh you mentioned World War Two,
which you for the Tutsi role. Tutsi roles were included
as a ration during World War Two because they didn't sport.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It makes sense, and I think in some of our
Halloween bags we got Tutti roles that were still from
that same war.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
World War Yeah. Yeah, Frank Sinatra supposedly loved Tutsi roles.
He was a big fan of the Tutsi roll. Wow.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah, how come in the in the pop they taste good,
But just the Tutsi roll itself, you know, the long ones,
especially if they were hard Tutsi roll. Yeah, grohost man,
I mean you you threw those away, right, or you
try to give them away.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So you just said you don't like the long and
hard ones.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Is that what you did? You just that's not what
I said.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Sounded like what you said there.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I said it in two separate sentences. Oh you did.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I don't know. I can edit that together. We'll get
that out right there. Let's have a mind time, all right,
Let's get to the actual mail bag. These are actual
letters by actual people from all over God's Green Earth.
It's mail Bag, and we thank you in advance for
(05:27):
submitting a question and being part of the show. If
you would like to send a correspondence in for a
future episode of the mail Bag, you can do that
care of Reeal fifth Hour at gmail dot com. That's
real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. And first up
we go to San Diego. We was just talking about
(05:48):
that yesterday the San Diego Zoo. Dave in San Diego
rights and he says, hey, Ben and Danny, I saw this.
I thought of you two guys. The Border Patrol has
seen more people smuggling eggs on the southern border because
of the ridiculous prices that are being charged for eggs
at stores like Costco and whatnot. You guys want to
(06:10):
get in on a little side hustle as we bootleg eggs.
Dave in San Diego, how much money you think we
can make at this? That's my father, my grandfather. Now
this is a story I heard as a kid. I
don't know if it's true or not, but there was
like a family legend. I think somebody might have been
just trying to impress me that my grandfather, during a
(06:32):
prohibition at least a couple of times did some bootleg
to bring and he was living in Massachusetts and he'd
go up to Canada get some booze and bring it back.
That's the legend in the family. Nice.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
So I think, Dan, all these years later, you go
to Costco and get Kirkland brand outoll for your get togethers.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Yes, yes, well we've come a long way, baby, But no,
I think we could go down to Tijuana on like
Tuesday morning and then get a truck. I'll rent a truck,
we'll fill it up with eggs, and then we'll come
back and we'll stand outside Costco and we'll whisper to people,
I got eggs, eggs, egzag, you know, something like that,
(07:14):
and then Dave can be the middle man. He can Actually,
I guess Dave could go to Tijuana get the eggs.
But they're still cheap in Tijuana, right, That's what I heard.
They're in Mexico. They're still cheap, but here they're not
luinging eggs. Think of all the eggs we wasted as kids.
Oh yeah, yeah, In fact, yeah, my wife was pointing
out some of the people are still getting egged. You know,
(07:36):
kids are still egging other kids. That's a much more
expensive prank now than we were little, right when we
were in high school and you'd egg somebody's car or
something like that, or or their house. But now you
can't be doing that, which it doesn't eggs.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, I can't toilet paper people's homes anymore either, unless
you take out a small loan.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, that's blasphemy. You can't do it, especially after the
COVID thing. That's the most valuable resource we have in
a global disasters, toilet paper, bottle of water, and now
it's eggs. John from Hartford, Connecticut writes, and he says, Guys,
I don't know if you saw this story this week,
but as a proud resident of Connecticut, I wanted to
(08:16):
get your thoughts on it. And he sent me a
link to a story that says the state of Connecticut
is trying to convince the United States all the other
states that it is the pizza capital of the United States.
So when you think of pizza, Danny, and this is
not the question from John, he just want to know
(08:37):
our thoughts. So when you think of pizza, what do
you think of When I think of pizza, I think
of Chicago, and I think of New York. When I
think of pizza in America, I do not think the
first thing I think of it New York. I think
of New York pizza, but I also think of Chicago
Deep dish pizza. The state. According to the story what's
(08:58):
his name, John sent they found that there are thirteen
hundred and seventy six pizza restaurants in Connecticut, and New Haven,
Connecticut has sixty three of them. And they claim that
Connecticut leads the national rankings when it comes to pizzeria's
per capita locally owned establishments. So they're pumping this up here, Danny,
(09:23):
that per capita they are nambarwan. And this story has
a link from the state controller or no, not straight controler,
the state comptroller. I don't know what that is in Connecticut,
and it highlights the multi billion dollar pizza industry in Connecticut.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Have you seen that meme about Pittsburgh. They have a
Pittsburgh style pizza where they bank the dough and then
they put raw ingredients, all the ingredients uncooked on top
of the baked dough.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is the thing. I thought that
was fake, but it's it's legit. I don't I don't
think it's all over Pittsburgh. I think it's like a
little small part of Pittsburgh. But it's disgusting.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
It is.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, they put cold cheese and the pepperoni or whatever
on there. Yeah, nasty, that's brutal.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Man.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So they say number of pizza restaurants, and then per
ten thousand people, they say that Connecticut is number one,
Like we're in California, we do the show from LA
it's forty fortieth. New York is fourteenth. They've got they've
got a graph. This is what John, your tax dollars
are doing there in Connecticut. You're you're you're getting graphs
(10:41):
on pizza restaurants from the State Comptroller Office for the
state of Connecticut. And it's kind of per highest family
owned independent pizza restaurants Connecticut at seventy eight point eight.
This is unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
I mean, this is well, they need something and to
rept their state, not just Aaron Ornandez oh Man.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
That's that's nuts. This goes us six pages of pizza propaganda,
six pages of it. That is that is wild to me.
So no, I appreciate you sending me the story.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
John.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I did not see that this week in my copious
amounts of research for the show. But there it is
Connecticut the pizza capital, unless it's not.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Now.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Connecticut's where a lot of people that live in New
York or work in New York live, and then they
drive into the city or take the train into the city,
and then they go back. And I briefly worked in
Connecticut for a year. I had a job at NBC.
This goes back twelve thirteen years ago. I think it's
been longer than that, even it's twenty twenty five. But
(11:51):
we had a gig in in Connecticut. We flew back
there every every month for a year and did the
TV once like for a week. And I don't remember
the pizza being amazing. I mean it was fine, it
was whatever. And I did eat at Bobby V's restaurant
(12:12):
a lot. Bobby Valentine the the manager of the Mets
and the he's I think he's still a broadcaster for
the UH for the what do you call it the Angels, right,
I mean last year he was I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Know if it still is. What did you have to
do there when Aaron Hernandez had you sworn into his gang?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Well, you know it, you know he did most of
the work, Danny, I didn't have to do much.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
It was yeah, you're at the lookout.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Thank you for the story. But I think, do you
think I'm looking right now to see if Bobby V's
is still open? I was wondering. It's been been a
long time since I've been there. It's in Stanford, Connecticut,
which is most famous Stanford, Connecticut for being the headquarters
of Professional the WWE has their world global offices in Stamford, Connecticut.
(13:07):
But there are two locations, three locations, No, no, no, two
locations of Bobby Bobby V's. Okay, what is next? Alf
from the powder room rights into the mail bag. He says,
have either of you, gentlemen, ever reached your move goal
on your Apple Watch while dropping a deuce on the toilet?
I'm asking for a friend humble brag bucket list from
(13:31):
Alf in the powder room. No, No, I have not.
I have started to work out more since the TV
show ended, but I do not recall ever while partaking
on the throne there crossing over the rubicon. I do
not think that's happened. Alf also says, I'm not really
(13:52):
that bad at scrabble? Is that how you treat all
your radio friends. Yeah, so, Alf, A couple of fans
of the show have hooked up with me on the
Scrabble game on the iPhone and the smartphone and all that,
and so far I'm not lost to a listener. That's
a bit of my passion. Alf is the game. I'm
(14:16):
in it to win it, and so Alf and Noah
in Austin, I have been partaking in Scrabble playing those guys,
and I'm absolutely destroying Alfie.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, well, it would probably help if we're smarter than
a fifth grader?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
How dare you, Danny g Alf?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Well, no, that's a new game coming out soon, right,
I want to see how many of your listeners are
smarter than a fifth grader?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Well, or smarter than the FSR Tech Queen, which is
I think, like yeah exactly, maybe like third grade. I
don't know, who knows that.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Do you think you will ever get beaten by a
listener at Scrabble? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah, I mean I don't play great every game. I'm
sure there's I might even lose to alf who knows
or Noah. I'm doing well right now. See these guys,
they'll get me, you know. We play over a couple
of days I'm not on my phone all the time
playing scrabble. But at some point they're going to catch
me where I'm kind of distracted and I'm not paying
that close attention, and then I'm cooked and and I'll lose.
(15:22):
I mean I do lose every once in a while.
JJ from Jacksonville writes in he says, hey, Ben and
Danny like the pod, you think they should put gators
in the sewers in La in Vegas to keep people
out like we have here in Florida. And he sent
me a story where there's research out this week that
(15:43):
thousands of animals, including hundreds of alligators and snakes, are
living in the Gainesville sewage system. They are hunting, they
are traveling, they are living their lives. They are breeding
inside the ground of Jacksonville, the sewage system.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
That must be chicken beer bear and getting it on
underneath the street there.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
It's like teenage mutant ninja turtles. But it's the real deal.
And these these gators not, of course, crocodiles. These are
American gators, not the crocodiles which are common in Florida.
They normally reside in marshes, swamps, rivers, farms, farm ponds
and lakes, and they aren't the only the only ones
(16:31):
known to roam there, they said. According to an urban naturalist,
the reptiles were recently documented traveling throughout the sewage system
along with a bunch of other animals. The story from
actually the BBC they had all kinds of different reptiles
and amphibians that were just cruising around there. And what
(16:51):
if you have to go in there, Like, aren't there
people that work for the city of Gainesville that have
to go in there and like clean fixed stuff. You
imagine surrounded by gators and give you a We'll give
you like a gun and some pepper spray or something.
You'll be good.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
If it was our company, they would just give you
a FEMA card.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, yeah, you'll be good. Yeah, he's you're fine, you're
protecting up.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Here's a FEMA card. Go to work.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah, be happy, be happy now, be happy now. Next
up is Mike in Fullerton. He says, Yo, Ben and
Danny g Have either of you seen this video making
the rounds on AX about a day in the life
of is he the Corgy? And then he sent the
link here. It's the most horrible thing I've seen in years.
Does it make you, guys wish you had a corgy?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
This is you know, this is This is the video
clip of a former FSR employee, part of the Alumni
Association at the Great Corgy Race at Santa Anita Park
and Mike, I'm starting to think that the Mic and
Fullerton account is actually Ryan Finley and it's his burner
(18:02):
account and he's created this character Mike and Fullerton. Does
anyone think that that's possibility, anybody other than me?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Man, daddy, Yeah, And then he says, next time, Ben,
you get swarm by a bunch of AI girlfriend body accounts,
can you please send a few my way in a
bit of a dry spell. Thanks, that's from Mike. Yeah,
so Mike and Fullerton, he made a joke about AI
(18:33):
I needing an AI girlfriend or something along those lines.
And so what happened was all the AI girlfriend accounts,
they're all automated and they just search for AI girlfriend.
And since Mike tagged me in that post, I was
getting endless messages from the AI girlfriend accounts on social media.
(18:56):
And this seemingly is a pretty big business. There's some
money to be made there. I remember we talked about
the story of some people that created a really hot
looking AI woman and they're making money with her as
an influencer, and she has supposedly millions of people following her. Now,
(19:18):
I continue to be a skeptic, a massive skeptic when
it comes to the number of followers. Like there's more
people on Instagram than there are in the world, right
if you look at the number of Instagram accounts and
how many people have a million followers, and like, the
math just doesn't work out. Even if you use malor math,
(19:41):
it doesn't really work out. But anyway, listen, that's great,
that's wonderful. Congratulations. I'm a skeptic. I am just a
skeptic by nature, and it's the matrix and all that,
and that's that's where I stand. That is where I stand.
Any thoughts on that, Danny.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I was just thinking about this would have come in
handy possibly for you back when you were in the
dating world.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Yeah, even then. I always try to find real women,
you know, not the not the fake ones.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
But uh, you know, but this generation right now, like
they're they're fine just having a relationship or talking to
a digital voice like you see the ads now for
the for the new phones that are out where you
can just have a conversation and get advice from an
(20:34):
AI like that seems to be the wave of the
future right now. God, do you see that ad right
where that guy is getting ready for his job interview?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, come on, don't you you need real,
like real the real human connection, don't you? Maybe not?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Well no, I mean we maybe we're old schools so
we did. But the kids nowadays that I think they're
going to be okay having robots.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yikes. Barry the Great Barry yo yo Ma Benny from
South Carolina for now until he moves somewhere else. He says,
This Bill Miller guy is terrible at tossing to you.
I think you need to have a heart to heart
with him. Maybe he should toss to you using one
of your twenty five hundred nicknames as an example, it
(21:23):
would be something like, now, back to Benny the Bopper. Yeah,
back to the Great, to Benny the Bopper. That's a
fine idea, and I will have a meeting with that.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
H It's a really bad idea. No.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
No, Bill Miller is an algorithm, So all we have
to do is type a few words into the algorithm
and all of a sudden he will start spinning out.
Mallard nicknames such as the spin Master of misinformation, the
bannering Broadcaster, the Beethoven of vs. The Curmudgeon of commentary,
the Chasm of sarcasm, how about shut up? The tsarev Zany,
(21:58):
the dark Knight of week night sports radio, the Molul
of mischief, Benny the brazen King of z Moneyball Mailler,
Benny the Bomb. But he's ever called you that facisis fox?
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Benny?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
The bopper at the PA Guy Dodgers Stadium called me
that a facisis fox. Sultan of insulted, the Shaman of Schotenfreude,
the sensitive Sniffer, jumping Jack of wisecrack inside of overnight Medicine,
Man Mallard, the Neighbo of negativity, the Sage of outrage,
the Pinnacle of cynegal princip preposterous I rotate nuts, the
(22:37):
Professor of propaganda, the hisz ar A look at.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
The clock, the podcast is on the stover. Oh no,
we have endless time in podcasting.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
The floating turd of the spoken word, and the mad
Hatter of sports chatter and that's not even all my nicknames, Danny.
That's only half my nicknames. I have other ones as well.
We can let Bill Miller know about this podcast and
then then Bill Mill will be good. Yes, they'll use
them now. No, thank you, Barry. Appreciate that. Kevin in
(23:08):
Kansas rites in and says you're Ben and Danny G.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Ben.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You recently mentioned having a camp like t Higgins if
you really had one, what would Camp Mallard and Camp
Danny G look like. Well, as you know, Kevin, I
was using the ancient art of sarcasm to mock and
lampoon the T Higgins camp. I always get a kick
(23:34):
out of this time of the year, we talk about
NFL free agency and teams are trying to upgrade, they're
trying to improve, players are trying to get paid, and
then you have some teams that stand pat but the
players stories that are leaked from someone in player x's camp.
And I always laugh at that, Like, you're an athlete,
(23:54):
you get to a point where you have a camp,
like a traveling band of merry men and women that
travel around with you. It just is so stupid. And
it was like I did this rant. I was like, well,
how do you become how do you become part of
a camp? What if you want to break up the camp?
What do you do with the camp? Where does the
camp go? You know that kind of thing. I did
(24:15):
that whole whole rant, which I still think is amusing.
But Camp Mallard would be like Camp Snoopy be a
lot of fun. There'd be some rides there, but they
wouldn't be scary rides and the weather would be pretty
good all the time, like something like that. What about
Camp Danny G, Danny what would that be?
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I think you said Camp Snoopy.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You know there's also robberies there and our jackings.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I thought Magic Mountain was the one that was the
that's all.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
That's another one. Remember they had to shut down the
concerts there.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yeah, there's people going there, and they was like, let's
do some you know, do some whatever, and we'll do it.
It's bad stuff, and we'll go to Magic Mountain to
do it, because that's when you want bad stuff, you
go to where there's roller coasters. That's where you do
the bad stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Yeah, damn, Danny G. I think I would recruit JaMarcus
Russell to host my camp. He would teach all the
kids how to make and drink purple drink. He'd be
the bar and then he teach them how to lounge
on the job.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Well, no one did it better. No one did it
better in his era than your guy, JaMarcus Russell. One
of the great Raiders of all time, and he was
a franchise changing player. He was so bad the team
left Oakland. If think about it, if JaMarcus Russell had
been good and lived up to the hype as a
number one overall pick, then at some point the Raiders
(25:38):
would have gotten the money they needed to build a
stadium and would still be the Oakland Raiders and would
not have left to go to to Vegas. Well they
left years later. You don't know that. Well, no, but
do the math, because they wanted a stadium even when
JaMarcus Russell was there. What was Russell was there probably
in the eight around that time. Yeah, so they.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
You're saying that he could have been there, Barry Bonds,
they could have built a stadium on his back.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Well yeah, or in Seattle, remember the Mariners, there were
rumors they were going to leave in Ken Griffy Junior
and the Mariners they went on this playoff run in
the This goes back to the mid nineties, but they
got a new stadium. They've been playing the Kingdome and
they wanted something new and they got the money they
needed because of this playoff run with Ken Griffy Junior.
So I'm just saying, just pointing that out. Next up
(26:27):
on the mail bag is Hank in Tokyo. He says,
good speaking to you during the show somewhat recently, and
then he references a previous episode of the show and
he says, you did Big Ben's Big Board. Now not
a list. He said this on the podcast last week
and now of the top single episodes of TV viewing
(26:47):
audiences final episode of Mash being the top Dog probably
just a slip of the tongue with justin case. The
setting of Mash was the Korean police action, not the
Vietnam conflict or as you said, the Vietnam War. Yes, Hank, Danny,
Hank's in Tokyo. Is that guy? You know, that guy
(27:10):
that has to touch up your work, to touch up
your work guy, that's Hank. And then he sent another complaint.
He said, a couple months ago, you did a word
of the week with ostracize or a synonym. He said,
I don't undred percent remember, and then he was upset
that I did not mention Socrates. That I should have
(27:34):
mentioned an example of Socrates. It never came. And so,
Hank is.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Here's my advice for Hank. He should have an after
after show where he just touches up all your work.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
That's a great idea, Hank. You could do your own podcast,
the bridge called the Bridge to Nowhere, and you can
do your podcast and just correct everything that I say,
just one after another.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Call it the Bill Miller Department of Corrections.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yes, the Bill Miller Corrections Retractions Department. Absolutely, thank you,
Thank you. Hank Hanks the listener that my boss used
to tell me about years ago. He said, Ben, if
you want to know if people are listening, if you're
not getting a lot of feedback to something you're doing,
make an obvious error on the show and people will run.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Work in your case, just be yourself.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
How dare you? People will run to contact you, and
you will find out just how many people are listening,
because there's nothing the consumer of audio content likes more
than correcting the blowhard on the radio. So if you're
not getting a lot of negative feedback or positive feedback,
and you want some, just make a small error and
(28:47):
all of a sudden you'll be amazed at what happens.
Mike in Wisconsin wrights and says, guys, I thought of
your show when I saw this story. You talk about
these kind of things quite a bit, and this is
another one to add to the show. And Mike sent
a story. I don't know if this came up on
Covino and Rich this year, A flaming hot or this week. Rather,
(29:08):
a flaming hot cheeto that looks like a character from
a very popular game series. The character Charizard will be
auctioned off for thousands of dollars. Yeah, a Pokemon looking
character and this thing's going to be auctioned off for big,
(29:34):
big money.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Exhitt. I mean we were in for Dan Patrick and
Colin Cowherd. We were doing hard oh sports all week.
You were a sporto, guys. I got you, unless we weren't.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
The cheeto in question was pulled out of a bag
sometime between twenty eighteen and twenty twenty two, got a
lot of attention and became just known on the internet
and all that. The bidding opened up at two hundred
and fifty dollars, and the price was up to twenty
one hundred dollars more than a week to go. The
(30:08):
auction wraps up on March first. March first, so you
can you still have time to bid on this. So Danny,
if you want to get this as an investment for
your son, this is a great collectible.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
It'd be great to make the final bid and then
just pop it in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
It's like that, didn't that happen with the banana guy?
I remember the banana nailed to the wall guy? Didn't
he eat the banana? The guy that bought the art
didn't he eat it or something? I think we talked
about that, right, remember that story.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, I don't know if you need it.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I thought he did. I thought this guy had so.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Much money eat it.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, we need enough, Just not that I thought he did.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
We've seen lots of jokes after that with people ripping
the banana off the wall and taking a bite of it.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah. Free time do you have and how much money
do you have? Where you're like, you know what I
need to do? I need to not only do I
need this, I have to bid on it. Like what
is that we'll get out on this last one, Stan,
He says, I'm not the man, just a man and
a fan in Phoenix.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Thank you. Stan.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
He says with the news out this week that President
Trump is going to discontinue the Penny, or at least
that's the plan and his claim. Now, Stan says that
this is a sign of the end times prophecy, and
then he wanted us to expand on that that. I
(31:40):
guess this is one of the preachers, one of the evangelists.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Oh man, your your TV bosses, Benny, your TV bosses
are hating this story. They're like, shit, we got to
rebrand everything, Benny versus the Nickel.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
No, no, no, no, no, no no. We've got it all
planned out. We actually talked about this on the TV
show Danny. It'll be Benny versus the Penny is going
to be we'll get rid of the penny and pennell
Me versus a pasta what and we'll be tossing the
pasta up in the air and depending on how much
of the pasta falls on which side, that's what we're
(32:15):
going to do. But yeah, this is this is great.
Anything to get money, right. I don't know who I
see the story that you sent me here, Stan, not the.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Man, just a man.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
And yeah, I think I think we'll be okay. I
think we'll be all right. And I told the people
at NBC, I said, listen, Benny versus the penny is
more of a unique name. Now, it's good for the
brand if they get rid of the penny, because people say, oh,
I thought they got rid of the penny. No, they
didn't get rid of the penny. It's Benny versus the penny.
(32:47):
That's all you need right there, Benny versus the penny.
You're good to go. That's it. Boom boom boom boom
boom boo.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
But then there'd be all these discontinued jokes though, have
land mines around your feet.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
People are called the schmucks, is what those people are.
We'll get out of that. I will be back tonight
with a brand spanking new edition of The Overnight Show,
The Ben Malor Show. A new week of programming will
be here. We look forward to that. And Danny, what
do you have going on here? Anything you would like
to promote? Is it a regular week this week? Is
(33:21):
it something else? What do we got going on?
Speaker 3 (33:23):
So we are filling in on the Ben Mallor Show,
and then we're filling in on the Doug Gottliep Show. Finally,
it's just going to be a regular week from five
to seven pm on the East Coast, and that is
two to four pm in beautiful Pismo Beach, California.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
One of the great spots to visit, Pismo Beach. I
haven't been there in a little bit, not that long ago,
but I know the sun is starting to shine a
little bit here. We got to get back up to
the coast.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
And by the way, the Ben Maler Show, if you're
listening in Honolulu nine o'clock at nine pm, the show
starts in Honolulu, and if you're in London, the show
starts and Terry's not in London. He's in England, but
not in London proper. The overnight show, for my math
is correct. It's a morning show in London, so it
(34:18):
starts it's eight London's eight hours ahead of la so yeah,
it's like seven in the morning or something like that.
My math is right.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You can put that on your resume that you do
morning drive and you wouldn't be lying.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, I do afternoon drive. Actually I do it middays
in China because Beijing is sixteen hours ahead. So I've
got that down in Sydney, Australia where Afternoon Drive in
Sydney were doing Afternoon Drive. Anyway, all right, have a
wonderful rest of your Sunday. Thank you for supporting the
Fifth Hour podcast. Don't forget. If you like the mail
(34:53):
bag and you think you have something you want to
send us for a future edition and you don't want
to rewind, go back to when I gave the address
at Real fifth hour at gmail dot com. And we'll
catch you on the podcast next weekend. But we'll both
be on the radio. I'll be on tonight, Danny tomorrow.
We'll see you there later.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Skater gotta murder. I gotta go
Host
Ben Maller
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