May 25, 2025 • 38 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. have Mail Bag fun for your Sunday! All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!"
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We go. Welcome the Fifth Hour. You see what I
did there, That's called a fake lead in Danny, that's
a false lead.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
But here we are.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It is the Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler and
Danny g Radio, and a very happy Sunday to you.
We have made it to the well, not the end
of the weekend, at least like for most people, they're
off tomorrow because it's the holiday weekend. I don't know
if you're working Tomorrow day, but I'm working. So it's
just a normal organ tonight, Sunday night and the Monday.
(01:02):
So for me, it's not a holiday weekend. It's only
a holiday weekend if you take the holiday. If you
don't take the holiday, it's not a holiday weekend. So
it's just a just a regular weekend for those that
are working. But well, you know we're here. So and
it's Indianapolis five hundred day today. Oh my god, are
you Yeah? And it's on Fox. It's on Fox. You
(01:23):
better watch. It's on Fox. Also National Wine Day today,
but in sports radio, every day is wine Day. We
we love to whine about everything.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
That's what we do. I work on a show called
Complino and Bitch.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
That's that's of course, It's National bath Bomb Day today.
It's very important that we have a bath bomb. And
National brown Baggot Day is today. Very offensive. This is
a fairly recent celebration, Danny. I know you're curious about that.
Observed for less than a decade, so it's not an
(01:59):
established day. But brown paper bags have been part of
our daily lives for many, many years and occasionally get
turned into Halloween mask and whatnot. And so the brown
bag was invented by a man named Francis Wool from Pennsylvania.
He created a machine that cut the paper into envelope
(02:22):
shaped bags, and that was in eighteen fifty two and
continued from that point forward. Eighteen seventy one, some woman
invented the flat bottom paper bag that could carry more
items and that was a game changer. And so anyway,
this brown National Brown Bagget Day today, which is another
(02:45):
one of those food gazy holidays. But let's get scientifical.
Then we'll get to the mailbag. We promised this yesterday,
we did not get to it. So here we go
with the science of it all. It's sol you ohiou, yeah,
(03:06):
the great Ohio. What's up? First, the Old Leatherman mystery
could be solved. Experts expose a probe and do we
the real life Bigfoot? And they are demanding now the
hidden archive that is said to have all those secrets
is unsealed. Yeah, big science story of French speaking guy
(03:31):
roaming the Northeast in a handmade leather suit in the
late eighteen hundreds became beloved local selby latted as the
Old Leatherman. And this is an ancient tale and so
supposedly there's some some stuff in there that you need
to know, or the science people say you need to
(03:53):
know that if they can get this archive unsealed, they'll
be connections to Bigfoot and all that. And to that,
I say bullshoi. To that, I say bullshoy. For sure,
what else do we have here on the science related
to content front. Let's see page down here, we've got
(04:16):
the wild tale, wild tale of the I don't know
if this is so much science or just like this
is the new normal. One point two billion social media users,
the data is stolen, and is any of our information
(04:37):
not already been stolen? Like you know what I'm saying,
Like over a billion Facebook users had all the private
information stolen. They say it's the largest data breach in
social media history. So, yeah, I don't. I'm on Facebook.
I don't go on there that much. I'm on we
(04:59):
have a Facebook age, but I don't. I don't think
I gave them any of my personal information to sign
up to Facebook. I just they had my name, but
my name's out there anyway. I'm trying to think. I'm
trying to think of what I have in there. I
don't think there's any There's some stuff on X that
would be or Twitter that would be a problem, but
(05:19):
they had a bad.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Yeah, like before you figured out how to use Twitter,
it was just your phone number, remember as your handle?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh who was that? Oh man?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Remember that one of our p ones? He had his
phone number? That's his Twitter handle? Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, we when we shifted over to Oh, I forget
who that was? Oh god, that was great. Yeah, the
guy was such a big fan of the show and
he wanted us to He didn't know an old guy,
he didn't know how to sign up for Twitter, so
instead of he confused the spaces and he put his
name instead of his name, he put his phone number,
and every every time he sent a comment, his phone
(05:58):
and it was his actual phone number were popped up.
Oh my god, who was that? I forget I forget
the name. It was hilarious. God, that was so good.
What a disaster, what an absolute the backle Oh, here's
a fun Sigence story. This would have been perfect for you,
(06:18):
Danny if you had your show with Clay. Giant rats
three times the size of standard rodents have been discovered.
Enormous vermin have a sharp, sharp up claws or what
you want to call it, and three inch posse talons.
Yeah yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Dynamite Do they have talents?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't know what you call those things. But here's
the deal. Like I've been to New York City. If
you walk around New York City after dark, you are
going to see massive rodents gair on teed gear.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah, they're the size of raccoons.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah. Now they claim this is the beast is not
found in America or anywhere other than Papa New Guinea. Uh,
the the steep highlands of Mount Willehelm, Papa New Guinea.
The discovery made by a scientist from the Czech Academy
(07:16):
of Sciences and says it's astounding, how large. And there's
a photo of him like holding up the road and
it it does look to be the size of uh.
It kind of to me, it kind of looks like
like Bella, my old dog. I'm trying to get a photo.
(07:37):
Heret me see I can get a photo and saying
I'll send you the photo and get the photo. It's
it's pretty pretty massive.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
The specimen looks like a local. It looks like a
small It does look like a small dog. You send
this over here, all right, there you go, I should
have it right now. Danny. That is that's you think
that's good eating? You think that nice it The reason
they're so big is twelve thousand feet up in the sky.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
So that's uh, oh man, look at that. That's some
very good eating.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, that's I bet you, sir. Scratch offs probably had
that for dinner and somewhere somewhere along the way, I
just want let's get to the mailbag. What do you say?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Why would you butterfly cut that and have it well done?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I think with the proper amount of olive oil and
garlic and some onions and maybe some bell pepper, I
think that'd be pretty good. Yeah, how about you breaded
in Deep Priot and be all right? And there's a
lot of meat there? Sure?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
All right? And if you had that, if you took
two of those rats from Papua New Guinea, the giant rats,
if you took them to sea level and they had
little rat babies, would those rats be giant or would
they be little? Because they're not up in the twelve
thousand foot level of the oxygen is obviously different than
(08:59):
all that.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Who knows?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
All right, here we go, mailbag, mail bag, mail bag?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
How do you transition from that to the mail bag?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Waiting to the mail bag? It's the bag, this mail bag?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Thank you? Ohiol first one, and these are actual letters
by actual listeners who want to send a message in
We've been doing really well with new people or people
that are just kind of regulars with new people mixed
in Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth
Hour at gmail dot com. You can send a message
in right now, you can do it tomorrow, you can
do it the next day. Just do it, Just do it.
(09:46):
Send the message in. So the first one is from
Gary in Pittsburgh, PA and yinzer Land. He says, Hey,
been and Danny. I was sitting around the house board
the other day and I thought, what would you like
to try doing? And it hit me podcasting programming or
podcast programming real, So this is where Gary is going
(10:07):
to be our program director and try to touch up
our work Danny, He says, I think I have the
perfect evergreen topic for you. You can't say that on the radio.
I would love to hear some of the responses to
your riddles and questions that are not even safe for
Save Harbor. The answer to a question a few weeks
(10:28):
back about the Dodger pitcher what the Dodger pitcher ate
even floored you? It would take a bit of work
from you, but I'm sure you know what stones to
turn first? Would be right up there with the unreadable
lame jokes. Am I onto something that's Gary in Pittsburgh. Well, Gary,
(10:49):
first of all, thank you for your suggestion. I appreciate that.
It's always nice to have someone touch up our work here.
Appreciate it. Secondly, we have considered this in the past.
I think we've talked about this, me and Danny, whether
or not we should do the offensive jokes here, and
we've determined that the reason, the main reason not to
(11:10):
do that is because it will be on audio tape.
Means seeing the offensive joke.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
It'll be archived forever, and that means you're setting yourself
up to be canceled permanently.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yes, if at some point I go mainstream, if you
will and that audio is out there, I'm pork.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Well you already are. Peacock boy.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Well, I have been the last couple of years. But
I don't know. They got rid of the they're getting
rid of the penny. Who knows if they're going to
bring the show back. But I don't think that'll matter.
But anyway, that's that's the issue, Gary, and the reason
I was a gasp by the comments. As you might imagine,
our listeners do not follow these social norms, and there
were a lot of racial things that were thrown in
(11:57):
on that the answer to the to the the question
about the Dodger pitchers. So it was. It's one of
those things where I see some of these answers and
I'm like, I know a lot of the guys just
love to bust my chops and try to They love
when I say I can't read that on the air.
It's like a badge of honor. I'm convinced, like there's
(12:18):
a subreddit where the guys are like, oh, I said,
so been so offensive to mel Or. He said, can't
read that on the air. But I don't, like, I
don't reference, like exactly what it is. But a lot
of these are usually very racist or just like over
the Dome, I enjoy a good joke, and I even
like the racial humor. I think it's very funny. However,
I mean there are.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
As long as you make fun of all races exactly,
then you're eoe and really quick back to the penny Ben. Yeah,
is there any truth to the rumor that next season
you guys are gonna film the show every week from
Tom Looney's house and the show will be rebranded as
Order versus the Quarter.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I like that. I'm gonna can I can I write
that down. I can pitch that to the executives at
NBC and uh we call uh called Looney. We'll take
cowboys nickname the Handsome horder. You can add that, add that.
I was thinking change Tom Lose the name to to
to the dime, Benny in the Dime, you know something
like that. You know you can change it up fun
(13:19):
with that. And I mentioned before on the TV show
we actually knew this was possible last year, and I said,
Benny versus the penn a, you know, the pasta. We
could flip a bowl of pasta or something like that.
But there's there's options. Next up is Reno Pinball, Mike
writes in He says, hey, Ben and Danny g it's
(13:40):
Reno Pinball. Mic Ben, can you please stop saying milk
when you are talking about the liquid Cow's producer.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
He just called yeah, Sequan and milk.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It is called milk. It is pronounced with an I
not an E when you call milk man in Colorado.
I head towards the window to jump. But besides that,
I love you and Danny and listen all the time
to both shows. Well, thanks for the message. I like
this guy's a douche. Thank you, reno. Pinball, Mike, appreciate that.
(14:17):
And the pinball very similar to the penny. You know,
the penny is going away. The pinball in many ways
has gone away, right, Danny. The pinball's kind of gone away.
That's kind of not really much of a thing these days.
But I really do that as a tribute to you.
Every time I say, Milk, I'm doing that for you
pinball Mike. That is my tribute to you. And so
(14:41):
that's that. And I just love when certain people are
triggered by words. You know what I mean. You know.
And it's a live radio show. It's four hours of
talk radio every night, and so occasionally I just like
to I follow the teachings of Rick Dy's, the great
Rick Dy's who told me, says Ben, just make sure
(15:02):
to leave some mistakes in the show. That way, you're
more relatable. I could do a perfect show, but I
choose to make a more relatable show. Next up is
Robin from the Hood in Ottawa. Wow, you think the
mean streets of Ottawa, you think violence and trouble anyway,
(15:22):
says hey, guys, first time caller, longtime subscriber, just wanted
to finally chime in. Robin says and say, I enjoy
both of you on your weekly gigs, look forward to
weekend podcast or chemistry on the pod is fantastic, and
you and Danny Gee are better teammates than the Lakers
and Adam Silver. All right, heir, high five Robin, good
(15:44):
good line there. Good job by you guys. Question is
Ben well outdated?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
There? That would have been funny like three months ago.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Ben, I know you like to work your magic in
the kitchen. So are you a Cilantro guy or not?
I manage for a major train up here in Ottawa, Canada,
and cannot, for the life of me understand how Cilantro
is so popular. I am not. I am not Robin.
If you listen, you say you do listen. I'm team
(16:12):
garlic and onion. That's it. I have a I don't
eat all the time. I at one meal a day
and I'll usually try to skip a day a week.
But when I do eat, I like to have a
full onion and a bunch of garlic. That's it. I
do not do the Cilantro stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
It's interesting about Cilantro. It's like tomato fresh tomato. Ugh,
but obviously catch up wonderful Cilantro fresh cilantro nasty. It
overwhelms the taste of whatever it's on, especially when places
put a ton of it on your food. It gets
stuck in your teeth. There's nothing good about it. But
(16:48):
when it is blended up, like the creamy cilantro dressing
at El Poyo Loco, so good. I don't know what
it is, but when they blend it up into a sauce,
it's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Well, that's a very similar to the tomato and ketchup.
You know, I don't like tomatoes, but I like a ketchup,
So it's a but add a bunch of other stuff.
Robin says, I cannot stand the stuff. It's it's all
I can taste. That's kind of referencing what you were saying, Danny,
when I tried in recipes and it's so bad. I'd
rather listen to Colin Cowhard talking circles all afternoon than
(17:19):
eat cilantro. Ies took a shot at Coward. That is
a low blow by Robin.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Is one of Ben's best friends in radio.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Be careful or neighbors me and cowhard Man?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
He's moving to Chicago, so not soon, but we're pals.
You know why not.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, they hang out on the beach together.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
We did golf one time and he said who are you?
I think that when I met him.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Who are you? He said, ball washer? Get over here.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yes, he gave me. He tossed his car keys at me.
He said, make sure to have it back in two
hours clean. Ryan for Ryan from Shrewsbury, mass writes in says,
hey boys, I've written in a while since I told
you guys I discovered raising canes or hell that raging games.
I also have been wedding planning for my wedding on
(18:05):
October fifth. Mazzeltoff, congratulations on.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
The pop end is near.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, he's we're gonna lose him, you know, got another
good foot soldier gonna get married and then the wife
will be like, why do you listen to that podcast?
I don't understand it.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Oh, hopefully he still listens.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
I just meant the end of his calm, peaceful universe
that he had as a bachelor.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
No, well there's that, but I'm telling you, Danny, the
marriage thing is like.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
You No, No, ben are faithful listeners.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
They stand up to Tarranny and anyone who tries to
get it between them and a podcast, and let's be honest,
a good podcast. My wife she likes it when I
have a couple of podcasts in the holster because it
keeps me busy when she's busy doing something else. So
just as long as you, you know, don't bother your
(18:54):
significant other. Like we've had guys call in the past.
Remember where they said they listen to you for so
many hours. That's where their significant other got bothered because
they heard your voice coming out of speakers for hours.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yeah. Well, my thing is I've heard from guys. Remember
was it Jason and Ottawa? Remember I don't know you were?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yes? Yeah, no, I was.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, Well he didn't. He end up hooking up with
a much younger lady and then he had to give
up the show because of that. Like there was, there's
an example, and there's other examples. But hopefully Ron will
be okay anyway.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I oh, that's worse than Bill Belichick at Jordan on.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I bear the lead, my man, I bear the lead.
So Ryan the money quote, money quote. We all know
the most important parts of the money quote that we
can do a whole monologue on. Ryan says, since he's
very proud of his wedding, October fifth. I have not
gotten an invite. Have you gotten the invite? Danny on
the on the wedding anyway, he says, can you reach
out to your friend and see if Sucky is available
(19:55):
for a speech? Let me tell you, Ryan, I don't
know who's gonna speak at your wedding. Obviously, I don't
know your friends. I'm not in your world. And that's
your own world. That's your own movie. You've got your
own actors and your own movie. That's the way it
should be. Let's just hope. Let's hope that. I don't
know if you want to hope that happens or doesn't happen.
(20:16):
But still I'm smiling right now. I don't know if
you can tell I'm smiling.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Danny.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
You need to get a hold of everybody you knew
at that wedding and find out who videoed that.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I only know a couple of people at their wedding.
But I will, I will effort that. I will talk
to about my wife's family. It's her family, and so
I'll see if anybody has a recording. It was amazing
This heartfelt If you missed last week's podcast, This Heartfelt
best Man is his bros getting married. It's over for
(20:47):
the bros. You know. He's giving the guy away to
the bride and he's telling all these wonderful stories about
growing up with the groom and they're going through the
whole thing and every story is me and sucky and
instead of ski. Oh so good, oh god, oh all right,
(21:10):
good luck. Ryan Reggie from Detroit writes, enter the mail
bag and he says, happy holiday weekend, gentlemen. Ben, are
you going to be on tonight?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
And Ben and Danny h like both your shows. He says, Ben,
do you wish you had had not? Do you wish
you had not put Charlie and Charlie together on the radio?
It was very awkward. And that is from Reggie and
Reggie this is usually send good email. This is a
crappy email by you. This is a bad job by you. Yes,
(21:41):
I'm gonna be I said last week I was going
to be on the holiday weekend. I'm not taking time
off until we go to Vancouver at the end of
the week and then I we have to take a
travel day. So that's why. Uh yeah, and why even
But yes, that was horrible. Charlie and Charlie was you know,
punch me in the eye and punch me in the eye,
or kick me in the balls and kick me in
(22:03):
the balls, is what it was. It was not good, Charlie.
So we have these young listeners. Danny one's in Dallas.
He's a junior high school kid. He's homeschooled, so he
stays up all night like any good.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I've heard him on your show before, and.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
We have him. And then we have this other Charlie
who's in Wisconsin and he's going to college and he's
a young dude. And so I put these guys on
the air together and it was one of the worst
segments I've ever heard of my life. I question my
decision making. I was doubting myself Danny heroly.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
It could have either been radio magic and the two
of them would have been wined and dined by ESPN
Radio to be the next big thing, or it could
have been the most terrible thing ever heard on the
Ben Malors Show.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It was horrible. Well, it was not the worst, We've
had worse. I also got several emails I didn't write down.
I mean, I don't have all the names, but there
were multiple people that are convinced yet again that hollering James.
James is not a real caller that that he called
up the other night Danny and was snoring and we
(23:06):
kept going back to him and he was snoring, and
multiple listeners reached out to me and we're like, oh,
you know, I know, you pretend like these.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Are It's crazy that only a few of us understand
and realize that it's Jonas.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
The Great Jonas Knox.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
No.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Jonas has been doing that character for years and he's
one of the best character voices we have at the network.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
He's dedicated, He's absolutely dedicated. Now, the amount of people
that think the company has a big budget for paid
callers is fascinating to me, and I'm honored. I am
flattered that you think the people that I work for
would spend the kind of money that it would require
to have a stable of paid actors to call the show.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Our longtime listeners don't realize that Jonas was also Andrew
and Fremont, that he knows that Andrew. Yess how many
characters has Jonas done? Tent like ten or eleven now
on the show.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
He was Pete and Pittsburgh for a while. Yeah, that
and that was that was in Joe. Remember Lenny the
Cryptkeeper in Florida. That was a tough course. It was
a New York accent. Jonas has had a little bit
issue with the New York accent. So we've had that
and we actually just retired as he was. He was
playing Angry Bill as a caller for a long time.
(24:23):
But we've just retired that character, Angry Bill, the Angry
Bill character, so that's no longer, no longer needed. Also,
for a while he was marked the full name guy
and then we retired marked the full name guy.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
He's super gifted.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah he is. He's a great voice actor.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
We don't need to bring Jonas in.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Alf from the Animal Thunderdome rights In says, how far
away in the not so distant future do you think
we are from going to the to a full planet
of the apes world? Please cite the post below and
ask the Great Danny g Radio if it qualifies as
Animal Thunderdome or let's get scientifical. So alf, I'll give
(25:01):
you the thumbnail. You don't have a copy of this, Danny.
So the thumbnail is that researchers at Yale University trained
a bunch of monkeys to exchange metal tokens for food.
This is a study that was done. I guess I
looked it up years ago. And so they were put
into this little tiny market and the experiment went and
(25:22):
they were they were They figured out that they could
exchange these little coins for food, food of different prices,
and so the study was designed to study the economic
behavior of monkeys. And during the experiment, the researchers discovered
(25:43):
that the monkeys, at least one monkey was exchanging the
metal disc for some monkey booty. That there was a
prostitution that had taken place inside of this experiment done
by researchers at Yale. So I ask you, Danny, you
(26:05):
make the call. You make the call. Is that animal
Thunderdome or let's get scientifical, as asked by alf the alien.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Opiner, that's definitely animal Thunderdome.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
I say it's both. It's both because it's a science,
it's a study and in like the Thunderdome part of it. Sure,
but there's no there's no fighting, I guess. I mean,
I actually could call that fighting when monkeys are making
love could depending on how they're doing it, it could
be could be that. But any update on Thunderdome please.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Please don't ever say monkeys making love ever again? Yes, yes,
In fact, I pulled up the text message right now.
This text came in from Clay Travis at seven seven
pm on Wednesday, May seventh. I still want to do
the Thunderdome podcast. Let's get details hammered out soon, Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
All right, and that is seventeen days ago, I guess now,
So all right, get right on that. Next up is
Murphy from Georgia. Right since what was that last year
that he wrote that?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
All right?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Do you know when CNR was filling in for Dan
Patrick on Friday morning, a listener called up and was
talking about how much he loved the animal Thunderdome back
in the day.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Hey great, Let me just first start out by saying,
I'm a huge dandy defense, especially that covered years ago
with a tiger killer. I found that guy in the jungle.
I'll never know, but anyway, my comment was.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Like, man, I need to clip that call and send
that to Clay and say, remember what you texted twenty
days ago.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
It was a great It was a great bit. It
was solid entertainment. Murphy from Georgia rights ince as scientists
are baffled. You see this story, Ben and Danny's scientists
are baffled after discovering a perfect spear emitting radio signals
from deep space, mysterious round object with remarkable circular symmetry,
(28:17):
defying current space theories in science. Uh. And then he says,
Ben and Danny, what do you think is going on here?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (28:28):
And thenre's a there's a link, there's an It says
there's an alien world with floating snow globes suspended, suspended
in space. Listen? Uh, how how Murphy we do a
weekend podcast? How the f am I supposed to tell
you what's going on? I've told you my theory. I
(28:49):
believe there are aliens all over the place out in
the out of the cosmos. You look out, it goes
on forever and ever. As far as we know, we
can't wrap our head around it. We have You know,
our brains are nothing compared to that.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
This is not aliens. This is God with some static cling. Okay,
you don't know how you rub your feet on the
rug and then you shock something. Yeah, that's probably what
this is.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Well, the reason I rubbed my feet is so I
can kill the cockroaches when I'm kind of putting my
feet down and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
But well, I know that's true. I know that's true.
At FSR they're all over the place. Yet Iowa Sam
killed a little baby one the other day.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
It was nasty.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, they're flying to they fall out of the ceiling
at night. Lorena is like, you brush them off.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
The board and screw you. Denny's. Denny's is still haunting
us all these years later.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Yeah, we've determined that is like the thirtieth or fortieth
generation of the cockroach that is still still doing its
thing all these years later. Kwang from Ho Chi Min, Vietnam.
He writes us pretty much every week. Quang's a big
fan of the show. Whatever his real name is. Big
Man and Danny g ever think about making the Baba
Gonoch or the baba ghul or gobbagool rather the gobbagol
(30:00):
on a spaducci, I think that's what you said. I
guess this is a charcoal looks like a charcoal thing.
Have you ever used that? Danny? You're not a.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Cooker, but you don't make gabba ghouls. That's meat that's
already put together.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
I know, but he's saying the guy he's put the gabba.
I think he just wanted to react to the spadoucci
or Spadooki or whatever.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
I don't know, Baba ganoush, I understand, when's the last
time you made baba ganoosh.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Well, it's a fun word to say, as you know, Danny,
But I'm counting my calories. So it's been it's been
a minute. It's been been a minute since I've I've
done that. I've known quang. I don't know what the
hell that is. I mean, you sent me a photo
of it. It looks like a charcoal like barbecue thing.
I don't know. I know nothing about that, so I
(30:45):
can't It's funny, you know, it's a good thing. And
you got to mention.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
That I only uses his fancy griddle in his mansion.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I love the griddle. Yeah, the gabba ghoul. And I
have this guy, old Man River. We I've become pen
pals with Old Man River. Old Man River is eighty
eight years old. Dany eighty eight years old. He listens
to the show every night. He's got medical problems and
he's got to go to the toilet multiple times at night,
(31:12):
and he says, we keep him company on the overnight show,
and so he started writing me, and so I become
pen pals with this guy. And most of the time
he writes me. The thing that he cares about is
not my opinion of the Lakers or the Yankees or
the Dolphins or whoever. My man old Man River. His
(31:33):
name is Mike. He lives in Florida. He loves the
baba ganoosh. He every evening he's asking me about the
boba ganoosh and I'm like, well, listen, it's just it's eggplant.
It's like, you know, you mix this and that together,
the garlic and all that, you get the baba ganoosh.
And he just can't get enough of baba ganoosh. And
the funniest thing is he doesn't know how to spell
(31:54):
boba ganoosh, but he still tries to spell it. You know,
you can kind of tell what the person means. And
I can say this because he only listens. He's eighty eight.
He didn't listen to podcast Dan. He's a He's just
this guy who listens on radio. Old school AM FM
radio is how Old Man River lives.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
He still has a palm pilot pretty much.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Pretty much all right, last one, Oh yeah, well, I
think those would be the last one. Stan from Florida,
speaking of Florida, says, Ben, do you know the type
of things that blind Scott is saying about you on
social media? It's not very nice? Are you concerned? And
how do you handle that?
Speaker 5 (32:33):
So?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Stan, I don't know that I'm concerned. I mean, blind
Scott is he talks a good game and all that,
but he's you know, I don't think he's actually going
to do anything wacky. I've met him, I consider him
a friend, so I don't think that's the case. And
as far as how I handle it.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
We talk about your days. When you've got caught stealing
a credit card.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
That is a low blow. How dare you? No? But Stan,
I don't. I don't really pay attention, like.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Be put that behind him if and he paid the
price for.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Him exactly exactly, let's say the The The thing I
will say about that, Stan, is that many of you
love to reach out to me. Anytime somebody like Scott
says something which is attacking me or you know, taking
shots at me, You guys always say did you see this?
You going to allow him to say that? You know
(33:25):
that whole thing you know that goes Danny, so listen.
Of course, it's part of the deal. It'd be great
if everyone was I was getting killed. This week, we
had a we had a viral video in in Philadelphia
because I pointed out that Nick Sirianni does not handle
himself the way you would expect coaches to handle themselves,
(33:47):
you know, that whole thing. How he's like, does everything
you're not supposed to do in terms of being professional
and uh, you know, not making it all about you
and all that stuff. And you would have thought you
would have thought that I declared war on the Delaware
Valley the way that people think. People saying very very
terrible things, but not the first time, it's not the
(34:07):
last time. And unlike a certain Red Sox pitcher who
was a gas that people would say rude things and
make threats on the internet, that's what social media is about.
So what I've done stan the man there in Florida,
and I just don't go on there during the day.
I'm on there for four hours a night, and occasionally
I'll do a drive by I call it drive by Danny,
(34:30):
where I'll go on there and I'll just go on
there for a little bit and then just like five minutes.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
You only like to read about how you're a radio
loser during your show.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yes, I do not need to find out how bad
I am, how fat I am, how uh I do
get a kick And it happens every time. It's anytime
you say something that somebody isn't like. The knee jerk
reaction is, well, that's while you're on Overnight. And I
was like, yes, you're reacting to me while I'm sleeping.
Who's the who's the loser here?
Speaker 4 (35:02):
And okay, that's the first comment underneath something that's a
video clip of yours And then the reference I made
is always the first loser underneath a comment that Doug makes.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know exactly. It's you know whatever,
It's fine.
Speaker 4 (35:18):
Hey, Listen's cow Herd too, the people under cow Herd
where Coherd was wrong. Yeah, wow, I've never heard that before.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Very original.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Yeah, you know you, you and your your terrible lives
can then enjoy yourself and have a great time. But
all right, we'll get out on that. I know it's
a holiday tomorrow. Well I'll be on tonight doing the
Overnight show. It's always fun on the holidays because there's people,
people call up that can't call up because they have
real jobs, nine to five jobs and all that. So
(35:49):
it'll be it'll be a fun night looking forward to it.
We'll talk about the pro bouncy ball and everything going
on here, the Nicks and the Pacers and the thunder
and the Minnesota Conference Final. We'll break it all down
and all that and toss it up and then don't
forget the end of this week, Thursday night, Malord meet
and greet in Vancouver. Cannot wait, hopefully.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
How many days are you going to be there.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
We're gonna be there Thursday through through Sunday and then
I'll be back Sunday night, so I'll be there all
it's a lot of poutine. Yeah, that's a that's a
that's fair amount. And I'm gonna try to hit all
the hotspots. If you guys want to recommend anything too,
if you live in Vancouver, because I have an idea,
I have a little bit of an idea of where
I want to go. But if you live in that
(36:35):
area or you've been to Vancouver, and you can recommend
like the top four or five things to do if
you can only go to Vancouver one time in your life,
what are the four or five things you would do
let me know. I would love to know as a friend.
It would make my life a lot eaier. I don't
want to miss anything. I know i'm gonna miss a
bunch of stuff. I'll be there with you know, the
wife should be with me as well. So Real fifth
(36:58):
Hour at gmail dot com and Real fifth Hour on
Gmail at gmail dot com. We'll have we'll have pods
next weekend though, Danny one way.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
Come hell or high water, We're always on. We're like
the network. We never miss a show. We never miss
a day, even if it's a holiday. We rarely do
Evergreen or Best Ofs but exception because you you are
doing a meet and greet, So that's an important feat
on you and the show's part. Because the network's not
paying for it. You guys are paying for it.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yeah, there's no there's no meat, no no budget, no
budget for that. Well, he spent all the money.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Save your receipts from the Gentlemen Club, because I know
you're going to be a brandy show lounge.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
There a bunch of hookers and cocaine.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
And I'm pretty sure Scott Schapiro will cover those receipts.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Oh yeah, no problem. Well, it's like when Rob goes
to Magic City in Atlanta right there. That's that's a
company expense because he talks about it on the radio.
And that's important.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
All right, it's a bit. If it's a bit, then
they'll pay for it. It's just like how Jonas gets
paid to be callers.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Yeay, yikes, exactly exactly. Are having wonderful rest, be well,
all that great stuff. We will be back next week
on the podcast on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I'll
be on the radio tonight and you'll be in with
Covin on Rich right yes week this.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Week, Yeah, Covene on Rich back in the afternoon on Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
All right, talk to you then later Skater gotta murder.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
I gotta go
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We go. Welcome the Fifth Hour. You see what I
did there, That's called a fake lead in Danny, that's
a false lead.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
But here we are.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It is the Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler and
Danny g Radio, and a very happy Sunday to you.
We have made it to the well, not the end
of the weekend, at least like for most people, they're
off tomorrow because it's the holiday weekend. I don't know
if you're working Tomorrow day, but I'm working. So it's
just a normal organ tonight, Sunday night and the Monday.
(01:02):
So for me, it's not a holiday weekend. It's only
a holiday weekend if you take the holiday. If you
don't take the holiday, it's not a holiday weekend. So
it's just a just a regular weekend for those that
are working. But well, you know we're here. So and
it's Indianapolis five hundred day today. Oh my god, are
you Yeah? And it's on Fox. It's on Fox. You
(01:23):
better watch. It's on Fox. Also National Wine Day today,
but in sports radio, every day is wine Day. We
we love to whine about everything.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
That's what we do. I work on a show called
Complino and Bitch.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
That's that's of course, It's National bath Bomb Day today.
It's very important that we have a bath bomb. And
National brown Baggot Day is today. Very offensive. This is
a fairly recent celebration, Danny. I know you're curious about that.
Observed for less than a decade, so it's not an
(01:59):
established day. But brown paper bags have been part of
our daily lives for many, many years and occasionally get
turned into Halloween mask and whatnot. And so the brown
bag was invented by a man named Francis Wool from Pennsylvania.
He created a machine that cut the paper into envelope
(02:22):
shaped bags, and that was in eighteen fifty two and
continued from that point forward. Eighteen seventy one, some woman
invented the flat bottom paper bag that could carry more
items and that was a game changer. And so anyway,
this brown National Brown Bagget Day today, which is another
(02:45):
one of those food gazy holidays. But let's get scientifical.
Then we'll get to the mailbag. We promised this yesterday,
we did not get to it. So here we go
with the science of it all. It's sol you ohiou, yeah,
(03:06):
the great Ohio. What's up? First, the Old Leatherman mystery
could be solved. Experts expose a probe and do we
the real life Bigfoot? And they are demanding now the
hidden archive that is said to have all those secrets
is unsealed. Yeah, big science story of French speaking guy
(03:31):
roaming the Northeast in a handmade leather suit in the
late eighteen hundreds became beloved local selby latted as the
Old Leatherman. And this is an ancient tale and so
supposedly there's some some stuff in there that you need
to know, or the science people say you need to
(03:53):
know that if they can get this archive unsealed, they'll
be connections to Bigfoot and all that. And to that,
I say bullshoi. To that, I say bullshoy. For sure,
what else do we have here on the science related
to content front. Let's see page down here, we've got
(04:16):
the wild tale, wild tale of the I don't know
if this is so much science or just like this
is the new normal. One point two billion social media users,
the data is stolen, and is any of our information
(04:37):
not already been stolen? Like you know what I'm saying,
Like over a billion Facebook users had all the private
information stolen. They say it's the largest data breach in
social media history. So, yeah, I don't. I'm on Facebook.
I don't go on there that much. I'm on we
(04:59):
have a Facebook age, but I don't. I don't think
I gave them any of my personal information to sign
up to Facebook. I just they had my name, but
my name's out there anyway. I'm trying to think. I'm
trying to think of what I have in there. I
don't think there's any There's some stuff on X that
would be or Twitter that would be a problem, but
(05:19):
they had a bad.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Yeah, like before you figured out how to use Twitter,
it was just your phone number, remember as your handle?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh who was that? Oh man?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Remember that one of our p ones? He had his
phone number? That's his Twitter handle? Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, we when we shifted over to Oh, I forget
who that was? Oh god, that was great. Yeah, the
guy was such a big fan of the show and
he wanted us to He didn't know an old guy,
he didn't know how to sign up for Twitter, so
instead of he confused the spaces and he put his
name instead of his name, he put his phone number,
and every every time he sent a comment, his phone
(05:58):
and it was his actual phone number were popped up.
Oh my god, who was that? I forget I forget
the name. It was hilarious. God, that was so good.
What a disaster, what an absolute the backle Oh, here's
a fun Sigence story. This would have been perfect for you,
(06:18):
Danny if you had your show with Clay. Giant rats
three times the size of standard rodents have been discovered.
Enormous vermin have a sharp, sharp up claws or what
you want to call it, and three inch posse talons.
Yeah yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Dynamite Do they have talents?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't know what you call those things. But here's
the deal. Like I've been to New York City. If
you walk around New York City after dark, you are
going to see massive rodents gair on teed gear.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah, they're the size of raccoons.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah. Now they claim this is the beast is not
found in America or anywhere other than Papa New Guinea. Uh,
the the steep highlands of Mount Willehelm, Papa New Guinea.
The discovery made by a scientist from the Czech Academy
(07:16):
of Sciences and says it's astounding, how large. And there's
a photo of him like holding up the road and
it it does look to be the size of uh.
It kind of to me, it kind of looks like
like Bella, my old dog. I'm trying to get a photo.
(07:37):
Heret me see I can get a photo and saying
I'll send you the photo and get the photo. It's
it's pretty pretty massive.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
The specimen looks like a local. It looks like a
small It does look like a small dog. You send
this over here, all right, there you go, I should
have it right now. Danny. That is that's you think
that's good eating? You think that nice it The reason
they're so big is twelve thousand feet up in the sky.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
So that's uh, oh man, look at that. That's some
very good eating.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, that's I bet you, sir. Scratch offs probably had
that for dinner and somewhere somewhere along the way, I
just want let's get to the mailbag. What do you say?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Why would you butterfly cut that and have it well done?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I think with the proper amount of olive oil and
garlic and some onions and maybe some bell pepper, I
think that'd be pretty good. Yeah, how about you breaded
in Deep Priot and be all right? And there's a
lot of meat there? Sure?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
All right? And if you had that, if you took
two of those rats from Papua New Guinea, the giant rats,
if you took them to sea level and they had
little rat babies, would those rats be giant or would
they be little? Because they're not up in the twelve
thousand foot level of the oxygen is obviously different than
(08:59):
all that.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Who knows?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
All right, here we go, mailbag, mail bag, mail bag?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
How do you transition from that to the mail bag?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Waiting to the mail bag? It's the bag, this mail bag?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Thank you? Ohiol first one, and these are actual letters
by actual listeners who want to send a message in
We've been doing really well with new people or people
that are just kind of regulars with new people mixed
in Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth
Hour at gmail dot com. You can send a message
in right now, you can do it tomorrow, you can
do it the next day. Just do it, Just do it.
(09:46):
Send the message in. So the first one is from
Gary in Pittsburgh, PA and yinzer Land. He says, Hey,
been and Danny. I was sitting around the house board
the other day and I thought, what would you like
to try doing? And it hit me podcasting programming or
podcast programming real, So this is where Gary is going
(10:07):
to be our program director and try to touch up
our work Danny, He says, I think I have the
perfect evergreen topic for you. You can't say that on the radio.
I would love to hear some of the responses to
your riddles and questions that are not even safe for
Save Harbor. The answer to a question a few weeks
(10:28):
back about the Dodger pitcher what the Dodger pitcher ate
even floored you? It would take a bit of work
from you, but I'm sure you know what stones to
turn first? Would be right up there with the unreadable
lame jokes. Am I onto something that's Gary in Pittsburgh. Well, Gary,
(10:49):
first of all, thank you for your suggestion. I appreciate that.
It's always nice to have someone touch up our work here.
Appreciate it. Secondly, we have considered this in the past.
I think we've talked about this, me and Danny, whether
or not we should do the offensive jokes here, and
we've determined that the reason, the main reason not to
(11:10):
do that is because it will be on audio tape.
Means seeing the offensive joke.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
It'll be archived forever, and that means you're setting yourself
up to be canceled permanently.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yes, if at some point I go mainstream, if you
will and that audio is out there, I'm pork.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Well you already are. Peacock boy.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Well, I have been the last couple of years. But
I don't know. They got rid of the they're getting
rid of the penny. Who knows if they're going to
bring the show back. But I don't think that'll matter.
But anyway, that's that's the issue, Gary, and the reason
I was a gasp by the comments. As you might imagine,
our listeners do not follow these social norms, and there
were a lot of racial things that were thrown in
(11:57):
on that the answer to the to the the question
about the Dodger pitchers. So it was. It's one of
those things where I see some of these answers and
I'm like, I know a lot of the guys just
love to bust my chops and try to They love
when I say I can't read that on the air.
It's like a badge of honor. I'm convinced, like there's
(12:18):
a subreddit where the guys are like, oh, I said,
so been so offensive to mel Or. He said, can't
read that on the air. But I don't, like, I
don't reference, like exactly what it is. But a lot
of these are usually very racist or just like over
the Dome, I enjoy a good joke, and I even
like the racial humor. I think it's very funny. However,
I mean there are.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
As long as you make fun of all races exactly,
then you're eoe and really quick back to the penny Ben. Yeah,
is there any truth to the rumor that next season
you guys are gonna film the show every week from
Tom Looney's house and the show will be rebranded as
Order versus the Quarter.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I like that. I'm gonna can I can I write
that down. I can pitch that to the executives at
NBC and uh we call uh called Looney. We'll take
cowboys nickname the Handsome horder. You can add that, add that.
I was thinking change Tom Lose the name to to
to the dime, Benny in the Dime, you know something
like that. You know you can change it up fun
(13:19):
with that. And I mentioned before on the TV show
we actually knew this was possible last year, and I said,
Benny versus the penn a, you know, the pasta. We
could flip a bowl of pasta or something like that.
But there's there's options. Next up is Reno Pinball, Mike
writes in He says, hey, Ben and Danny g it's
(13:40):
Reno Pinball. Mic Ben, can you please stop saying milk
when you are talking about the liquid Cow's producer.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
He just called yeah, Sequan and milk.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It is called milk. It is pronounced with an I
not an E when you call milk man in Colorado.
I head towards the window to jump. But besides that,
I love you and Danny and listen all the time
to both shows. Well, thanks for the message. I like
this guy's a douche. Thank you, reno. Pinball, Mike, appreciate that.
(14:17):
And the pinball very similar to the penny. You know,
the penny is going away. The pinball in many ways
has gone away, right, Danny. The pinball's kind of gone away.
That's kind of not really much of a thing these days.
But I really do that as a tribute to you.
Every time I say, Milk, I'm doing that for you
pinball Mike. That is my tribute to you. And so
(14:41):
that's that. And I just love when certain people are
triggered by words. You know what I mean. You know.
And it's a live radio show. It's four hours of
talk radio every night, and so occasionally I just like
to I follow the teachings of Rick Dy's, the great
Rick Dy's who told me, says Ben, just make sure
(15:02):
to leave some mistakes in the show. That way, you're
more relatable. I could do a perfect show, but I
choose to make a more relatable show. Next up is
Robin from the Hood in Ottawa. Wow, you think the
mean streets of Ottawa, you think violence and trouble anyway,
(15:22):
says hey, guys, first time caller, longtime subscriber, just wanted
to finally chime in. Robin says and say, I enjoy
both of you on your weekly gigs, look forward to
weekend podcast or chemistry on the pod is fantastic, and
you and Danny Gee are better teammates than the Lakers
and Adam Silver. All right, heir, high five Robin, good
(15:44):
good line there. Good job by you guys. Question is
Ben well outdated?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
There? That would have been funny like three months ago.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Ben, I know you like to work your magic in
the kitchen. So are you a Cilantro guy or not?
I manage for a major train up here in Ottawa, Canada,
and cannot, for the life of me understand how Cilantro
is so popular. I am not. I am not Robin.
If you listen, you say you do listen. I'm team
(16:12):
garlic and onion. That's it. I have a I don't
eat all the time. I at one meal a day
and I'll usually try to skip a day a week.
But when I do eat, I like to have a
full onion and a bunch of garlic. That's it. I
do not do the Cilantro stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
It's interesting about Cilantro. It's like tomato fresh tomato. Ugh,
but obviously catch up wonderful Cilantro fresh cilantro nasty. It
overwhelms the taste of whatever it's on, especially when places
put a ton of it on your food. It gets
stuck in your teeth. There's nothing good about it. But
(16:48):
when it is blended up, like the creamy cilantro dressing
at El Poyo Loco, so good. I don't know what
it is, but when they blend it up into a sauce,
it's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Well, that's a very similar to the tomato and ketchup.
You know, I don't like tomatoes, but I like a ketchup,
So it's a but add a bunch of other stuff.
Robin says, I cannot stand the stuff. It's it's all
I can taste. That's kind of referencing what you were saying, Danny,
when I tried in recipes and it's so bad. I'd
rather listen to Colin Cowhard talking circles all afternoon than
(17:19):
eat cilantro. Ies took a shot at Coward. That is
a low blow by Robin.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Is one of Ben's best friends in radio.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Be careful or neighbors me and cowhard Man?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
He's moving to Chicago, so not soon, but we're pals.
You know why not.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yeah, they hang out on the beach together.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
We did golf one time and he said who are you?
I think that when I met him.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Who are you? He said, ball washer? Get over here.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yes, he gave me. He tossed his car keys at me.
He said, make sure to have it back in two
hours clean. Ryan for Ryan from Shrewsbury, mass writes in says,
hey boys, I've written in a while since I told
you guys I discovered raising canes or hell that raging games.
I also have been wedding planning for my wedding on
(18:05):
October fifth. Mazzeltoff, congratulations on.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
The pop end is near.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, he's we're gonna lose him, you know, got another
good foot soldier gonna get married and then the wife
will be like, why do you listen to that podcast?
I don't understand it.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Oh, hopefully he still listens.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
I just meant the end of his calm, peaceful universe
that he had as a bachelor.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
No, well there's that, but I'm telling you, Danny, the
marriage thing is like.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
You No, No, ben are faithful listeners.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
They stand up to Tarranny and anyone who tries to
get it between them and a podcast, and let's be honest,
a good podcast. My wife she likes it when I
have a couple of podcasts in the holster because it
keeps me busy when she's busy doing something else. So
just as long as you, you know, don't bother your
(18:54):
significant other. Like we've had guys call in the past.
Remember where they said they listen to you for so
many hours. That's where their significant other got bothered because
they heard your voice coming out of speakers for hours.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yeah. Well, my thing is I've heard from guys. Remember
was it Jason and Ottawa? Remember I don't know you were?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yes? Yeah, no, I was.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, Well he didn't. He end up hooking up with
a much younger lady and then he had to give
up the show because of that. Like there was, there's
an example, and there's other examples. But hopefully Ron will
be okay anyway.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I oh, that's worse than Bill Belichick at Jordan on.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I bear the lead, my man, I bear the lead.
So Ryan the money quote, money quote. We all know
the most important parts of the money quote that we
can do a whole monologue on. Ryan says, since he's
very proud of his wedding, October fifth. I have not
gotten an invite. Have you gotten the invite? Danny on
the on the wedding anyway, he says, can you reach
out to your friend and see if Sucky is available
(19:55):
for a speech? Let me tell you, Ryan, I don't
know who's gonna speak at your wedding. Obviously, I don't
know your friends. I'm not in your world. And that's
your own world. That's your own movie. You've got your
own actors and your own movie. That's the way it
should be. Let's just hope. Let's hope that. I don't
know if you want to hope that happens or doesn't happen.
(20:16):
But still I'm smiling right now. I don't know if
you can tell I'm smiling.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Danny.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
You need to get a hold of everybody you knew
at that wedding and find out who videoed that.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I only know a couple of people at their wedding.
But I will, I will effort that. I will talk
to about my wife's family. It's her family, and so
I'll see if anybody has a recording. It was amazing
This heartfelt If you missed last week's podcast, This Heartfelt
best Man is his bros getting married. It's over for
(20:47):
the bros. You know. He's giving the guy away to
the bride and he's telling all these wonderful stories about
growing up with the groom and they're going through the
whole thing and every story is me and sucky and
instead of ski. Oh so good, oh god, oh all right,
(21:10):
good luck. Ryan Reggie from Detroit writes, enter the mail
bag and he says, happy holiday weekend, gentlemen. Ben, are
you going to be on tonight?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
And Ben and Danny h like both your shows. He says, Ben,
do you wish you had had not? Do you wish
you had not put Charlie and Charlie together on the radio?
It was very awkward. And that is from Reggie and
Reggie this is usually send good email. This is a
crappy email by you. This is a bad job by you. Yes,
(21:41):
I'm gonna be I said last week I was going
to be on the holiday weekend. I'm not taking time
off until we go to Vancouver at the end of
the week and then I we have to take a
travel day. So that's why. Uh yeah, and why even
But yes, that was horrible. Charlie and Charlie was you know,
punch me in the eye and punch me in the eye,
or kick me in the balls and kick me in
(22:03):
the balls, is what it was. It was not good, Charlie.
So we have these young listeners. Danny one's in Dallas.
He's a junior high school kid. He's homeschooled, so he
stays up all night like any good.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I've heard him on your show before, and.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
We have him. And then we have this other Charlie
who's in Wisconsin and he's going to college and he's
a young dude. And so I put these guys on
the air together and it was one of the worst
segments I've ever heard of my life. I question my
decision making. I was doubting myself Danny heroly.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
It could have either been radio magic and the two
of them would have been wined and dined by ESPN
Radio to be the next big thing, or it could
have been the most terrible thing ever heard on the
Ben Malors Show.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It was horrible. Well, it was not the worst, We've
had worse. I also got several emails I didn't write down.
I mean, I don't have all the names, but there
were multiple people that are convinced yet again that hollering James.
James is not a real caller that that he called
up the other night Danny and was snoring and we
(23:06):
kept going back to him and he was snoring, and
multiple listeners reached out to me and we're like, oh,
you know, I know, you pretend like these.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Are It's crazy that only a few of us understand
and realize that it's Jonas.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
The Great Jonas Knox.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
No.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Jonas has been doing that character for years and he's
one of the best character voices we have at the network.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
He's dedicated, He's absolutely dedicated. Now, the amount of people
that think the company has a big budget for paid
callers is fascinating to me, and I'm honored. I am
flattered that you think the people that I work for
would spend the kind of money that it would require
to have a stable of paid actors to call the show.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Our longtime listeners don't realize that Jonas was also Andrew
and Fremont, that he knows that Andrew. Yess how many
characters has Jonas done? Tent like ten or eleven now
on the show.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
He was Pete and Pittsburgh for a while. Yeah, that
and that was that was in Joe. Remember Lenny the
Cryptkeeper in Florida. That was a tough course. It was
a New York accent. Jonas has had a little bit
issue with the New York accent. So we've had that
and we actually just retired as he was. He was
playing Angry Bill as a caller for a long time.
(24:23):
But we've just retired that character, Angry Bill, the Angry
Bill character, so that's no longer, no longer needed. Also,
for a while he was marked the full name guy
and then we retired marked the full name guy.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
He's super gifted.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah he is. He's a great voice actor.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
We don't need to bring Jonas in.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Alf from the Animal Thunderdome rights In says, how far
away in the not so distant future do you think
we are from going to the to a full planet
of the apes world? Please cite the post below and
ask the Great Danny g Radio if it qualifies as
Animal Thunderdome or let's get scientifical. So alf, I'll give
(25:01):
you the thumbnail. You don't have a copy of this, Danny.
So the thumbnail is that researchers at Yale University trained
a bunch of monkeys to exchange metal tokens for food.
This is a study that was done. I guess I
looked it up years ago. And so they were put
into this little tiny market and the experiment went and
(25:22):
they were they were They figured out that they could
exchange these little coins for food, food of different prices,
and so the study was designed to study the economic
behavior of monkeys. And during the experiment, the researchers discovered
(25:43):
that the monkeys, at least one monkey was exchanging the
metal disc for some monkey booty. That there was a
prostitution that had taken place inside of this experiment done
by researchers at Yale. So I ask you, Danny, you
(26:05):
make the call. You make the call. Is that animal
Thunderdome or let's get scientifical, as asked by alf the alien.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Opiner, that's definitely animal Thunderdome.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
I say it's both. It's both because it's a science,
it's a study and in like the Thunderdome part of it. Sure,
but there's no there's no fighting, I guess. I mean,
I actually could call that fighting when monkeys are making
love could depending on how they're doing it, it could
be could be that. But any update on Thunderdome please.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Please don't ever say monkeys making love ever again? Yes, yes,
In fact, I pulled up the text message right now.
This text came in from Clay Travis at seven seven
pm on Wednesday, May seventh. I still want to do
the Thunderdome podcast. Let's get details hammered out soon, Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
All right, and that is seventeen days ago, I guess now,
So all right, get right on that. Next up is
Murphy from Georgia. Right since what was that last year
that he wrote that?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
All right?
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Do you know when CNR was filling in for Dan
Patrick on Friday morning, a listener called up and was
talking about how much he loved the animal Thunderdome back
in the day.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Hey great, Let me just first start out by saying,
I'm a huge dandy defense, especially that covered years ago
with a tiger killer. I found that guy in the jungle.
I'll never know, but anyway, my comment was.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Like, man, I need to clip that call and send
that to Clay and say, remember what you texted twenty
days ago.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
It was a great It was a great bit. It
was solid entertainment. Murphy from Georgia rights ince as scientists
are baffled. You see this story, Ben and Danny's scientists
are baffled after discovering a perfect spear emitting radio signals
from deep space, mysterious round object with remarkable circular symmetry,
(28:17):
defying current space theories in science. Uh. And then he says,
Ben and Danny, what do you think is going on here?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (28:28):
And thenre's a there's a link, there's an It says
there's an alien world with floating snow globes suspended, suspended
in space. Listen? Uh, how how Murphy we do a
weekend podcast? How the f am I supposed to tell
you what's going on? I've told you my theory. I
(28:49):
believe there are aliens all over the place out in
the out of the cosmos. You look out, it goes
on forever and ever. As far as we know, we
can't wrap our head around it. We have You know,
our brains are nothing compared to that.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
This is not aliens. This is God with some static cling. Okay,
you don't know how you rub your feet on the
rug and then you shock something. Yeah, that's probably what
this is.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Well, the reason I rubbed my feet is so I
can kill the cockroaches when I'm kind of putting my
feet down and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
But well, I know that's true. I know that's true.
At FSR they're all over the place. Yet Iowa Sam
killed a little baby one the other day.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
It was nasty.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, they're flying to they fall out of the ceiling
at night. Lorena is like, you brush them off.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
The board and screw you. Denny's. Denny's is still haunting
us all these years later.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Yeah, we've determined that is like the thirtieth or fortieth
generation of the cockroach that is still still doing its
thing all these years later. Kwang from Ho Chi Min, Vietnam.
He writes us pretty much every week. Quang's a big
fan of the show. Whatever his real name is. Big
Man and Danny g ever think about making the Baba
Gonoch or the baba ghul or gobbagool rather the gobbagol
(30:00):
on a spaducci, I think that's what you said. I
guess this is a charcoal looks like a charcoal thing.
Have you ever used that? Danny? You're not a.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Cooker, but you don't make gabba ghouls. That's meat that's
already put together.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
I know, but he's saying the guy he's put the gabba.
I think he just wanted to react to the spadoucci
or Spadooki or whatever.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
I don't know, Baba ganoush, I understand, when's the last
time you made baba ganoosh.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Well, it's a fun word to say, as you know, Danny,
But I'm counting my calories. So it's been it's been
a minute. It's been been a minute since I've I've
done that. I've known quang. I don't know what the
hell that is. I mean, you sent me a photo
of it. It looks like a charcoal like barbecue thing.
I don't know. I know nothing about that, so I
(30:45):
can't It's funny, you know, it's a good thing. And
you got to mention.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
That I only uses his fancy griddle in his mansion.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I love the griddle. Yeah, the gabba ghoul. And I
have this guy, old Man River. We I've become pen
pals with Old Man River. Old Man River is eighty
eight years old. Dany eighty eight years old. He listens
to the show every night. He's got medical problems and
he's got to go to the toilet multiple times at night,
(31:12):
and he says, we keep him company on the overnight show,
and so he started writing me, and so I become
pen pals with this guy. And most of the time
he writes me. The thing that he cares about is
not my opinion of the Lakers or the Yankees or
the Dolphins or whoever. My man old Man River. His
(31:33):
name is Mike. He lives in Florida. He loves the
baba ganoosh. He every evening he's asking me about the
boba ganoosh and I'm like, well, listen, it's just it's eggplant.
It's like, you know, you mix this and that together,
the garlic and all that, you get the baba ganoosh.
And he just can't get enough of baba ganoosh. And
the funniest thing is he doesn't know how to spell
(31:54):
boba ganoosh, but he still tries to spell it. You know,
you can kind of tell what the person means. And
I can say this because he only listens. He's eighty eight.
He didn't listen to podcast Dan. He's a He's just
this guy who listens on radio. Old school AM FM
radio is how Old Man River lives.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
He still has a palm pilot pretty much.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Pretty much all right, last one, Oh yeah, well, I
think those would be the last one. Stan from Florida,
speaking of Florida, says, Ben, do you know the type
of things that blind Scott is saying about you on
social media? It's not very nice? Are you concerned? And
how do you handle that?
Speaker 5 (32:33):
So?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Stan, I don't know that I'm concerned. I mean, blind
Scott is he talks a good game and all that,
but he's you know, I don't think he's actually going
to do anything wacky. I've met him, I consider him
a friend, so I don't think that's the case. And
as far as how I handle it.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
We talk about your days. When you've got caught stealing
a credit card.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
That is a low blow. How dare you? No? But Stan,
I don't. I don't really pay attention, like.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Be put that behind him if and he paid the
price for.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Him exactly exactly, let's say the The The thing I
will say about that, Stan, is that many of you
love to reach out to me. Anytime somebody like Scott
says something which is attacking me or you know, taking
shots at me, You guys always say did you see this?
You going to allow him to say that? You know
(33:25):
that whole thing you know that goes Danny, so listen.
Of course, it's part of the deal. It'd be great
if everyone was I was getting killed. This week, we
had a we had a viral video in in Philadelphia
because I pointed out that Nick Sirianni does not handle
himself the way you would expect coaches to handle themselves,
(33:47):
you know, that whole thing. How he's like, does everything
you're not supposed to do in terms of being professional
and uh, you know, not making it all about you
and all that stuff. And you would have thought you
would have thought that I declared war on the Delaware
Valley the way that people think. People saying very very
terrible things, but not the first time, it's not the
(34:07):
last time. And unlike a certain Red Sox pitcher who
was a gas that people would say rude things and
make threats on the internet, that's what social media is about.
So what I've done stan the man there in Florida,
and I just don't go on there during the day.
I'm on there for four hours a night, and occasionally
I'll do a drive by I call it drive by Danny,
(34:30):
where I'll go on there and I'll just go on
there for a little bit and then just like five minutes.
Speaker 4 (34:35):
You only like to read about how you're a radio
loser during your show.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yes, I do not need to find out how bad
I am, how fat I am, how uh I do
get a kick And it happens every time. It's anytime
you say something that somebody isn't like. The knee jerk
reaction is, well, that's while you're on Overnight. And I
was like, yes, you're reacting to me while I'm sleeping.
Who's the who's the loser here?
Speaker 4 (35:02):
And okay, that's the first comment underneath something that's a
video clip of yours And then the reference I made
is always the first loser underneath a comment that Doug makes.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know exactly. It's you know whatever,
It's fine.
Speaker 4 (35:18):
Hey, Listen's cow Herd too, the people under cow Herd
where Coherd was wrong. Yeah, wow, I've never heard that before.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Very original.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Yeah, you know you, you and your your terrible lives
can then enjoy yourself and have a great time. But
all right, we'll get out on that. I know it's
a holiday tomorrow. Well I'll be on tonight doing the
Overnight show. It's always fun on the holidays because there's people,
people call up that can't call up because they have
real jobs, nine to five jobs and all that. So
(35:49):
it'll be it'll be a fun night looking forward to it.
We'll talk about the pro bouncy ball and everything going
on here, the Nicks and the Pacers and the thunder
and the Minnesota Conference Final. We'll break it all down
and all that and toss it up and then don't
forget the end of this week, Thursday night, Malord meet
and greet in Vancouver. Cannot wait, hopefully.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
How many days are you going to be there.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
We're gonna be there Thursday through through Sunday and then
I'll be back Sunday night, so I'll be there all
it's a lot of poutine. Yeah, that's a that's a
that's fair amount. And I'm gonna try to hit all
the hotspots. If you guys want to recommend anything too,
if you live in Vancouver, because I have an idea,
I have a little bit of an idea of where
I want to go. But if you live in that
(36:35):
area or you've been to Vancouver, and you can recommend
like the top four or five things to do if
you can only go to Vancouver one time in your life,
what are the four or five things you would do
let me know. I would love to know as a friend.
It would make my life a lot eaier. I don't
want to miss anything. I know i'm gonna miss a
bunch of stuff. I'll be there with you know, the
wife should be with me as well. So Real fifth
(36:58):
Hour at gmail dot com and Real fifth Hour on
Gmail at gmail dot com. We'll have we'll have pods
next weekend though, Danny one way.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
Come hell or high water, We're always on. We're like
the network. We never miss a show. We never miss
a day, even if it's a holiday. We rarely do
Evergreen or Best Ofs but exception because you you are
doing a meet and greet, So that's an important feat
on you and the show's part. Because the network's not
paying for it. You guys are paying for it.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yeah, there's no there's no meat, no no budget, no
budget for that. Well, he spent all the money.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Save your receipts from the Gentlemen Club, because I know
you're going to be a brandy show lounge.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
There a bunch of hookers and cocaine.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
And I'm pretty sure Scott Schapiro will cover those receipts.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Oh yeah, no problem. Well, it's like when Rob goes
to Magic City in Atlanta right there. That's that's a
company expense because he talks about it on the radio.
And that's important.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
All right, it's a bit. If it's a bit, then
they'll pay for it. It's just like how Jonas gets
paid to be callers.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Yeay, yikes, exactly exactly. Are having wonderful rest, be well,
all that great stuff. We will be back next week
on the podcast on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I'll
be on the radio tonight and you'll be in with
Covin on Rich right yes week this.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Week, Yeah, Covene on Rich back in the afternoon on Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
All right, talk to you then later Skater gotta murder.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
I gotta go
Host
Ben Maller
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