December 19, 2025 • 30 mins
Ben Maller (produced by Danny G.) has a great Friday for you! Ben was so flabbergasted by the ending of the Rams game with the Seahawks, he went back in the podcast studio after his radio show to provide a therapeutic rant on the Seattle Screw Job, also reveals his much-anticipated holiday radio schedule!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
In the penthouse. Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
Radio and a Happy Friday Morning to you. Finished with
the radio show a couple hours ago. I walked out
of the studio and I said.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
All right, I'm gonna come in here.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
I'm gonna come back to the podcast studio, the remote
podcast studio.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And I had this big plan.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I was going to tell all these stories about Santa
Benny and all that stuff. And however, I've made an
editorial decision on this edition of the Fifth Hour podcast.
I have decided that I need to get back on
my bully pulpit. And even though I did four hours
of talk radio last night and I used the soapbox
(01:17):
to rant and rave about what happened in the NFL game.
It was such a whack a doodle finish to the
Rams Seahawk game last night in the beautiful Pacific Northwest
that I have decided that I'm going to rant more
about that. I have some more thoughts I want to
share with the class. And you're part of the class,
(01:38):
and we will give you the holiday schedule as promised
later in this podcast, which includes Hanukkah, which is going
on right now, so Lotka's Jelly Donuts and then with
my wife's family Christmas cookies. She bought eggnog. I will
not be partaking in that, the whole Norman Rockwell thing.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
We'll have that, But.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Right now, in this moment, let's get the party started
with a little audio therapy. Not radio therapy. This is
podcast therapy. It's therapeutic. It's just what the doctor ordered.
It's group counseling. It needs to be done because of
the Seattle screw job that took place last night. Now,
(02:19):
I don't work for the Rams. You know that I'm
not a show for the Rams. You know that, although
no Streudinis might disagree, I'm not. I don't make any
money when the Rams win unless I bet on the
game and I did a small bet, nothing major in
that game, and Seattle was actually favored by one and
a half to two by the time the game kicked off.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I need to talk.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
About this because what we watched was not football. That
was a magic trick. It was sleight of hand. The
NFL pulled two points out of a hat like a
street hustler with a bent deck of cards back in
the old Times Square in Manhattan. Now let's say it's slowly,
because I know there's some people there that might be
(03:02):
listening on Park Avenue in New York wearing headsets. Now,
if you're in the replay center in New York, you
have the headset and then a blindfold. The referee blew
the play dead whistle.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
The universal signed for stopped playing football. Now, that's it.
And everybody did the Rams stop. The Seahawks stopped, even
Zach Charmoneau, who came over there, and he slowed down
like he hit rush hour traffic. And he wasn't in
a hurry. The play was dead. He grabbed the ball,
but he wasn't in any hustle. It was finito. It
(03:39):
was done, and somehow the modern day Penn and Teller
went abra kadabra. The NFL handed Seaheadle two points, like
a complimentary mint at the end of a bad meal
when they give you the bill. And by the NFL's
own rule, I went back and I looked because I thought, well,
maybe I got something wrong here by the NFL's own rule.
(04:02):
And I know reading is hard for some spelling is
hard for others. I learned that every week on the
show and inadvertent whistles. According to the NFL's own rule book,
an inadversive inadvertent whistle ends the play unless the action
is a continuation already in progress. Key phrase already in progress.
(04:24):
Now Charboneau, the running back there does not stop to
pick up the ball until way after the whistle after,
not during, not simultaneous after. That's not continuation, it's not
that's a sequel. Nobody asked for its. It's hilarious to
(04:44):
me watching the replay, and I watched it, I don't
know seven thousand times. The second that whistle blows, whistle, whistle, whistle,
everyone freezes. It's like a middle school dance when the
chaperone flips the lights on. It's also like musical chairs.
The music stops game over. But the NFL said, nah, eh,
(05:09):
I think we'll keep dancing. Well, Seattle, you're allowed to
dance the Rams. No. And here's the kicker on this.
It isn't even about the officials on the field. They
actually got the call right in the stadium, the Seahawks
were preparing to kick off to the Rams.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
They got the call right. They called the play dead.
They did their jobs.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
The disaster was cooked up by the instant replay brain
trust in the Big Apple, the Wizard of Oz behind
the curtain, pulling levers and pretending this is all you know,
this is all kosher, that it makes sense. And but wait,
there's even more. Now, how about the absurdity of advancing
(05:50):
a fumble ball on a scoring play. Now, that's supposedly
banned in the fourth quart it's illegal for boton, it's
against the rule, except apparently, when it's a two point conversion.
The Seahawks need a little bit of a booster, a
little booster shot.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
There you go. It's funny how the.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Fine print always opens up like a trapdoor, the NFL
handing the Seattle football team two points like a TSA agent,
waving one guy through while everyone else gets friss like.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
What the heck? And this wasn't missed.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
It's manufactured, is the word I will use. And let's
not ignore the snuffleufigus wearing stripes in the corner of
the room. Who's chatting with the HeLa monster? Okay, they're
having a conversation. And then over there, I believe the
is that a giant oversized blue whale that just swam
into the room. We already talked about the Puka Nicool
(06:48):
horsehead in the bed on the radio show last night.
The league sending a little bit of a message. You're
gonna talk out of school, out of class, you're gonna
talk about the referees. Well, suddenly the rule books can
get flexed like a yoga instructor. The Rams should have
won the game thirty to twenty eight in regulation, end
(07:09):
the game, roll credits, that's it. Instead, we got a
blown call that changed the outcome of a lot of stuff,
a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Whether it's the division, who knows.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
What's going to happen the final few weeks of the season,
but the division, number one seed, number one in the NFC.
A call so bad it belongs in the hall, not
that hall, the Hall of shame. Right next to the
infamous replacement referees, the past interference reviews that vanish into
(07:42):
thin air. Now was this malfeasance? Was this incompetence or
was this intentional?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Right?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
That's the question hanging in the air.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Like Kim trails back on the old Coast to Coast
with Art Bell and you know the spin is coming, right,
and I've already started to see some of it. I
cannot wait. I'm gonna go to bed here a little bit,
and by the time I get up, it'll all be
bouncing around the echo chamber the League press release, which
(08:15):
will be a gigantic word salad. And by the way,
I don't like salads. I don't like salad, but it'll
be a word salad. Correct application of the rule as
it is written in Phase seventeen of the rule book
after a further review. Spare me, I'm gonna puke in
my mouth. No justice, no peace. This one's going to
(08:38):
echo for days. The Seattle screw job, the Rams got robbed.
Case closed. Now you say the case is closed, but
you think I'm done.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Hell no, hell no.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Let's address my coffee drinking seahawk loving friends. So I
mentioned I did the radio show a little while ago.
Oh I got done. I had a little bit of
a down stretch, kind of reset the battery there for
a little bit, and then I come back.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Into the remote studio to do.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
The podcast, and I made the mistake of opening up
my email, my inbox, and then also went on.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Social media, some of the social media stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And I'm going to say this slowly, clearly, and I
believe with perfectly polished, a perfectly polished golden hammer. For
my friends and those that are regular fans of the show,
some of you I met at the Seattle meet and
greet we did in twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But those of you chiming in from.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Seattle wagging your fingers and declaring that I've gone full
tinfoil houtguy malor you boys think that I've lost my fastball.
You're calling this a conspiracy rant that what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
You're laughing at me.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
You're saying that it's like I've seen sasquatch wearing ram
colors in the end zone. Listen, Regardless of all that,
here's the inconvenient truth. You j'rer bronis. You jackwagons can't
handle and all of you you fall on the spectrum
of Mama Luke.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, let me explain the inconvenient truth.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
A lot of things feel true long before they're actually
officially stamped approved by the people in charge. This is
all stuff that comes out in books years later. History
is littered with examples. This is not fringe, this is
not outer space, this is not street level reality.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
It's not any of that.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
I'm not doing remote viewing what we witnessed in Seattle
last night as we're doing this podcast early on this Friday,
the nineteenth day of December. But you look last night,
that was the metaphorical bloody knuckles is what that was.
It was NFL street justice I get. In my opinion,
(11:02):
it was payback with a smile for m wide receiver
Pooka Nakua, who sent out a comment on social media
and then deleted it after the game. But Pookah is
the guy. He listened, he poked the hornets nest. He
went out of two and twenty five yards receiving, two
hundred and twenty five yards receiving and a couple of touchdowns,
and yet the NFL is like, listen, you poked the
(11:23):
hornets nest live on a live stream Internet stream and surprise, surprise, surprise,
he got stung by the hornet's nest right there, Well,
the hornets in the nest, you prod the hive, don't
act shock when the bees come buzzing.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
And now I know the game. You know some of you.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Are playing, not all of you, but some of you
are playing. Some are just rage baiting.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I know.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It's like, hey, let's poke the mallor hoping to get
a reaction so you feel alive. Right, you get five
minutes in your sorry ass situation.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I want to I'm gonna bust mallards chops, That's what
I'm gonna do. Okay, I'm not talking to you. Okay.
I enjoy busting balls as much as anyone. I love
hitting buttons. It's fun.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I'm amazed how people get so upset over sports takes
on an overnight show. However, here we are, it still
happens all these years later. So I'm not worried about
the rage baiting morons. Right, the ones I would like
to address, and if this is you, you fall into
this category, this basket, the ones that actually believe this
(12:32):
nonsense about there's nothing to see here. And when you
label anyone who questions it a conspiracy theorist. Congratulations, you
have just won the booby prize. You are drinking the
kool aid of the CIA.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
That's right, the CIA.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Yeah, I went there. Buckle up, buccaroo. Now, while the
CIA did not technically invent the phrase conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Didn't you know that?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Way back in nineteen sixty seven, so we're talking almost
sixty years ago, the internal CIA the Dispatch, recommended using
the term conspiracy theorist to discredit critics of what the
time was a very big report, the Warren Commission, and
(13:30):
so the memo from the CIA, it actually helped popularize
the term as a weaponized slur designed to shut down
any kind of debate. You cannot question anything.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Because you will be given cooties.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
You're going to be called a conspiracy theorist and shutting
up a lot of people. You shut them down any
kind of debate by making skeptics sound unhinged.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
How dare you?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
And no, I am not wearing tinfoil headphones. It is
documented history. It's the same playbook as the NC double
a years ago.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
They were facing their ruin.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
People were suing them, people were players, were dying, their girlfriends, their.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Wives, were suing the NCED double A.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
It was called something else, but they came up with
the term student athlete, just pulled that out of thin air.
It was a phrase cooked up to avoid paying workers
comp a cute combination of words ugly motive, ugly motive.
And they did that for so long that people thought
(14:43):
it was legit. They didn't realize it was a hustle
by the nc Double A, and they kept repeating it
even to this day. While players are being paid wads
of cash, more money than Alf and Fergdog get paid.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
To do the show, which is not much, not much.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
But they just give them wads of cash and say, here,
play football for us, play basketball for us. And they
still people still use the term student athlete. And here's
the malor money line. It's not a conspiracy theory in
terms of the NFL stuff or really anything, if it's true.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
It's not a conspiracy theory if it's true. So let's
talk some football.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
What do you say, because the NFL has already released
the hounds, it's gonna get worse. Later I mentioned the
word salad is coming from the NFL. They'll be sending
it to Pro Football talk. And then Florio will post
it and he'll go nutso and all that stuff. So
we know that's coming, but it's already started. Like suddenly,
(15:44):
out pop the rules experts, right, the rules experts like
jack in the box lawyers.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
And as they pop up.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And you know, spin the thing in the jack in
the box, they spin themselves dizzy trying to spit polish
a rusted broken call now one of my favorites, and
I wanted to share with you here on the Fifth
Hour podcast, and I quote, this is somebody that worked
for the NFL.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I don't think they worked for the NFL anymore. They're
former referee.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
The quote was, whether a whistle is blown or not
is completely irrelevant to the two point conversion that was
given to Seattle. Completely irrelevant was the line, so the
whistle is blown or not, it's completely irrelevant. That is
higgely piggly nonsense, is what that is. That's not analysis.
(16:38):
That's called gas lighting. One oh one call him the
gas man whoever said that. And for those that are
playing along at home or at the gym, or at
work or in your car, gas lighting, I think we
all know what that is, but some of you might
not know. Gas lighting is the manipulation of people into
questioning their own reality, into doubting what their eyes saw
(17:03):
and their ears heard, and what we all heard, every man, woman,
and child, clear as a church bell whistle, whistle whistle,
And so that might be the dumbest thing ever spoken
by a human with some kind of credentials to their name.
The NFL wants to have it both ways. Heads they
(17:26):
win tails. You are cuckoo for cocoa puffs. You're crazy,
crazy crazy. You're on the chew crazy trade. You are
when players from both teams let me repeat this for
those of you a little slow. For players from both things,
maybe you're on the spectrum. When players from both teams
(17:48):
stopped playing at the sound of the whistle, including the
numb nuts who casually strolled over to bend down to
pick up the ball. Two full mississippi seconds, one mississippi,
two mississippi after the whistle, that is no longer a
clear recovery by any reasonable definition known to humanity.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Beast or zebra or lizard, person or the grays. I
don't care. If whistles and rules are now.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Open to interpretation, then congratulations, Come on down, We've got
ourselves a rule change. So from here on out, the
lesson is ignore the whistle. It's not just play to
the whistle, it's played through them. Pretend they are hood
ornaments and they're there for decoration. In fact, why even
(18:47):
bother having officials save money. Just let some guy from
Long Island who's in New York blow an airhorn when
the play is over like a monster truck rally, watch
out for the grave digger. By the way, and to
everyone parroting the rule book, because I have seen this
already too this morning. They're parroting the rule book like
(19:11):
it's this scripture. And welcome to the oldest argument in sports.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
It's really in.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Life, the spirit of the law versus the letter of
the law. By the letter of the law, I'm sure
you can futs around and find something there, find something
that the NFL got right.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But by the spirit of the law.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
NFL players are trained from Pop Warner on up.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
We're talking Pop Warner.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
That's when they hear a whistle, the play is dead, period,
end of sermon. The play is dead if the whistle
doesn't blow. And we'll just look at the game last night.
If that whistle doesn't blow, multiple ram players dive on
all of They all dive on the ball be a dogpile,
(20:04):
and you know they're like seagulls dive bombing, drop French
fry on the beach.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
So did that happen?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
No? No, you know, have we gone bonkers?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
No?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Have I joined the Flat Earth Society? No, I've not
joined the Flat Earth Society, although they still send me
emails every once in a while because I blamed Kyrie Irving.
We did a thing about the flat earth and then
the or the Actually, the flat earth people do not
send me stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
It's the hollow earth people. Excuse me. The flat earth
people don't bother me.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
The hollow earth people who were a subset when we
talked about Kyrie Irving and the flat Earth.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Those people reach out to me every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
But I'm just refusing to pretend that water isn't wet
because some rules analysts told me it's dry.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Carrying the water for the NFL. The whistle has to
mean something.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
It has to or the whole thing, the whole operation
for Gayzy, which is the word of the week for
Gayzy seems to be.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
The word of the week.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I feel like I've used it a lot and there's
a lot of things. I'm not rushing to conclusions. I'm
just selling you. I'm telling you that there's a lot
of stuff going on in sports.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Right now that is for gazy is what it is.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
All right now to the holiday radio schedule, by demand,
by demand, I have waited to This is not the
end of a podcast, but it's getting closer to the
end of the podcast, and we will, for ratings purposes,
push back the Santa Benny version of this podcast until Saturday.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I have some things I want to share with you.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
About my experience, which I love so much, of climbing
to the top of a fire truck and playing Santa. However,
you know, I would assume, because you're listening to the podcast,
you're a high level p one that I by nature
a worker bee. I don't like time off. I don't
(22:06):
trust time off. Time off is it's like a suspicious
relative who shows up unannounced to your house, double parks
in the driveway, and somehow still complains about parking while
also eating all of your food.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
And I had this happen. I've had this happen a
few times.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
I've had people over and they've just gone wild, right,
just absolutely gone wild, and it's maddening. Absolutely maddening is
what it is.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And so.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Every once in a while, even the most stubborn awks
has to leave the plow in the field and walk
back to the barn. You know, this is my passion.
The overnight show, what we call the Ben Mallor show.
It's not really a job. It's not a paying job
at Pizzo.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Okay, but not.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I could be making more money if I did a
daytime show, I'd be making a lot more money. But
it's an audio sweatshop, right, It's a nightly assembly line
of piping hot takes, crazy calls from people like hollering
James and blarn Maine and Lucky Tony rants, Mallard metaphors, mallarisms,
(23:23):
all that stuff. It rolls off the conveyor belt in
the factory of hot takes while most of the world is,
at least our side of the world is drooling in
a pillow, or at least auto pillow. Now I like
it that way. I have more editorial freeman freedom at night.
I don't have people my boss is harassing me. I
(23:47):
thrive under the cover of darkness. Think of me like
an audio raccoon with a microphone, rummaging through the sporting
news trash at three am and loving every second of it. However,
here we are, I have stacked up comp days the
old fashioned way by working holidays most people don't even
(24:10):
know have names. And I have worked the big ones
as well. Thanksgiving, fourth of July, you name it, those
like President's Day.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I don't even know if that's a company hall. I
think it is this federal holiday.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
But while on the fourth line, well, you're lighting fireworks
or carving a turkey on Thanksgiving, I'm carving up monologues
like a Deli slicer on full blast.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And those receipts add up.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
And so this is the the malor math hours in
hours ode on those holidays. And then there's real life
like my wife, who runs a tighter operation than most
NFL front offices, and she is a social butterfly occasionally occasionally,
(24:56):
and so she has us hosting multiple holiday parties. One
of them will take place this weekend, another one the
following week which means that I have to take part
in actual human interaction. I have to get plates, napkins,
I have to smile, I have to pretend like I'm
(25:16):
interested in people telling me stories. I don't care about
eye contact. I am waving the white flag. As a
result of that, I will become Benny the Baker this
week Extreme Baking. I will also be taking the rare
and appropriate time off, which for me feels like skipping
(25:36):
leg day after a decade long streak, or more like,
I guess intermittent fasting, which I have this ridardulous streak going.
But here's the Malar scoreboard, and yes I'm I'm giving
you the information slowly. For the people in the cheap
seats here, it is the big payoff here, the moment
(25:57):
of truth. Plan your vacations accordingly. The Ben Mahlor Show,
not the podcast. The Ben Malor Show, has not one,
but two more live shows in twenty twenty five. We'll
be recapping the NFL Sunday into Monday, and we'll be
recapping the NFL Monday into Tuesday. Now after that, we
(26:18):
go into what's known as suspended animation, kind of like
a sci fi movie, not a good one, not a
good one, where the hero is frozen in a pod,
dreaming of bad officiating and phantom replay reviews and giving
Puka Nakouah, the business and all of that and breaking
(26:38):
down all of this like government spreadsheets. But fear not,
loyalist foot soldiers, you know who you are, My most
ardent supporters that would die on Mount mallor in the
Mallard Militia. The podcast should still be there. Now there
is a chance I make a little road trip. I
will not be flying. I'll be driving somewhere to an
(27:00):
the state, which in the West is a whole endeavored
to go to another state. So if that happens, that
might delay the podcast. I don't know that that will
be the case.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I believe I think.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Will be good on that, and so Benny versus the
Penny should still be breathing on YouTube as well. As
we wind down the regular season in the NFL. The
pantry will not be bare. However, the original recipe, the
full overnight Grind will be put on.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Ice Ice Ice Baby.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
We officially returned from hiatus on Sunday night into Monday,
January fourth into January fifth, and we'll flip the switch
back on like the Frankenstein Monster and minus of course
the neck bolts will mix in extra sarcasm. I'll try
(27:54):
to get some sleep over the next couple of weeks
and then come back recharge. Think of it as our
brothers and sisters in the NBA say, load management, load management.
I'm not retiring. I'm not retiring.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
And if I end up getting fired, it was not
my decision.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I'm kidding, but no, this is a strategic time strategic
time out, not a two minute warning. And even the
most reliable workhorse, whatever you think that is, needs a
pit stop, an oil change, maybe a fresh set of tires.
You need all that stuff before getting back on the
(28:34):
overnight highway where the things go bumpity bump at night.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
So my message to you is thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
And we have two more podcasts this weekend, and I've
got two more ratorships.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
I just want to thank you now. I'll thank you again.
I want to thank.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
You for supporting what we do here. And it's been
a transitional period of time.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
We lost I.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Say lost at He's not dead, but he was like
go by the company. Eddie Garcia is a big part
of the show. And the show's continued on and it's
different than it was and the characters changed. But the
show's popularity has been pretty good because of you, and
so I want you to enjoy the holidays, whatever you celebrate.
If you don't celebrate anything, just have a great day,
enjoy your life.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
I want you to eat too much food. I want
you to gain ten pounds. I want you to argue
with in laws that you don't like.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
I want you to argue with your relatives that are
blood relatives that you also don't like. I want you
to miss me just enough, just enough where you come back,
just enough where you come back, because soon enough it'll
be lights, camera action. The lights will come back on,
the phones will start ringing, We'll be breaking down things
with Marcella and Brooklyn and hollering.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
James and all.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
The characters on the show will return, and the Audio
Sweatshop will reopen for business.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
So we have much to get to.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I will put the baby to bed right now, but
we'll have no podcast on Saturday. I will give you
the Santa Bendi podcast on Saturday. That is my plan,
unless something crazy happens later today that requires another emergency
Mallard monologue like this ridoculous play in Seattle on Thursday night.
(30:19):
So Danny putting this thing together. Danny g hopefully will
join me at some point over the weekend. And later
skater aasta pasta gotta murder, I gotta go
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
In the penthouse. Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
Radio and a Happy Friday Morning to you. Finished with
the radio show a couple hours ago. I walked out
of the studio and I said.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
All right, I'm gonna come in here.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
I'm gonna come back to the podcast studio, the remote
podcast studio.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And I had this big plan.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I was going to tell all these stories about Santa
Benny and all that stuff. And however, I've made an
editorial decision on this edition of the Fifth Hour podcast.
I have decided that I need to get back on
my bully pulpit. And even though I did four hours
of talk radio last night and I used the soapbox
(01:17):
to rant and rave about what happened in the NFL game.
It was such a whack a doodle finish to the
Rams Seahawk game last night in the beautiful Pacific Northwest
that I have decided that I'm going to rant more
about that. I have some more thoughts I want to
share with the class. And you're part of the class,
(01:38):
and we will give you the holiday schedule as promised
later in this podcast, which includes Hanukkah, which is going
on right now, so Lotka's Jelly Donuts and then with
my wife's family Christmas cookies. She bought eggnog. I will
not be partaking in that, the whole Norman Rockwell thing.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
We'll have that, But.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Right now, in this moment, let's get the party started
with a little audio therapy. Not radio therapy. This is
podcast therapy. It's therapeutic. It's just what the doctor ordered.
It's group counseling. It needs to be done because of
the Seattle screw job that took place last night. Now,
(02:19):
I don't work for the Rams. You know that I'm
not a show for the Rams. You know that, although
no Streudinis might disagree, I'm not. I don't make any
money when the Rams win unless I bet on the
game and I did a small bet, nothing major in
that game, and Seattle was actually favored by one and
a half to two by the time the game kicked off.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I need to talk.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
About this because what we watched was not football. That
was a magic trick. It was sleight of hand. The
NFL pulled two points out of a hat like a
street hustler with a bent deck of cards back in
the old Times Square in Manhattan. Now let's say it's slowly,
because I know there's some people there that might be
(03:02):
listening on Park Avenue in New York wearing headsets. Now,
if you're in the replay center in New York, you
have the headset and then a blindfold. The referee blew
the play dead whistle.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
The universal signed for stopped playing football. Now, that's it.
And everybody did the Rams stop. The Seahawks stopped, even
Zach Charmoneau, who came over there, and he slowed down
like he hit rush hour traffic. And he wasn't in
a hurry. The play was dead. He grabbed the ball,
but he wasn't in any hustle. It was finito. It
(03:39):
was done, and somehow the modern day Penn and Teller
went abra kadabra. The NFL handed Seaheadle two points, like
a complimentary mint at the end of a bad meal
when they give you the bill. And by the NFL's
own rule, I went back and I looked because I thought, well,
maybe I got something wrong here by the NFL's own rule.
(04:02):
And I know reading is hard for some spelling is
hard for others. I learned that every week on the
show and inadvertent whistles. According to the NFL's own rule book,
an inadversive inadvertent whistle ends the play unless the action
is a continuation already in progress. Key phrase already in progress.
(04:24):
Now Charboneau, the running back there does not stop to
pick up the ball until way after the whistle after,
not during, not simultaneous after. That's not continuation, it's not
that's a sequel. Nobody asked for its. It's hilarious to
(04:44):
me watching the replay, and I watched it, I don't
know seven thousand times. The second that whistle blows, whistle, whistle, whistle,
everyone freezes. It's like a middle school dance when the
chaperone flips the lights on. It's also like musical chairs.
The music stops game over. But the NFL said, nah, eh,
(05:09):
I think we'll keep dancing. Well, Seattle, you're allowed to
dance the Rams. No. And here's the kicker on this.
It isn't even about the officials on the field. They
actually got the call right in the stadium, the Seahawks
were preparing to kick off to the Rams.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
They got the call right. They called the play dead.
They did their jobs.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
The disaster was cooked up by the instant replay brain
trust in the Big Apple, the Wizard of Oz behind
the curtain, pulling levers and pretending this is all you know,
this is all kosher, that it makes sense. And but wait,
there's even more. Now, how about the absurdity of advancing
(05:50):
a fumble ball on a scoring play. Now, that's supposedly
banned in the fourth quart it's illegal for boton, it's
against the rule, except apparently, when it's a two point conversion.
The Seahawks need a little bit of a booster, a
little booster shot.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
There you go. It's funny how the.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Fine print always opens up like a trapdoor, the NFL
handing the Seattle football team two points like a TSA agent,
waving one guy through while everyone else gets friss like.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
What the heck? And this wasn't missed.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
It's manufactured, is the word I will use. And let's
not ignore the snuffleufigus wearing stripes in the corner of
the room. Who's chatting with the HeLa monster? Okay, they're
having a conversation. And then over there, I believe the
is that a giant oversized blue whale that just swam
into the room. We already talked about the Puka Nicool
(06:48):
horsehead in the bed on the radio show last night.
The league sending a little bit of a message. You're
gonna talk out of school, out of class, you're gonna
talk about the referees. Well, suddenly the rule books can
get flexed like a yoga instructor. The Rams should have
won the game thirty to twenty eight in regulation, end
(07:09):
the game, roll credits, that's it. Instead, we got a
blown call that changed the outcome of a lot of stuff,
a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Whether it's the division, who knows.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
What's going to happen the final few weeks of the season,
but the division, number one seed, number one in the NFC.
A call so bad it belongs in the hall, not
that hall, the Hall of shame. Right next to the
infamous replacement referees, the past interference reviews that vanish into
(07:42):
thin air. Now was this malfeasance? Was this incompetence or
was this intentional?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Right?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
That's the question hanging in the air.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Like Kim trails back on the old Coast to Coast
with Art Bell and you know the spin is coming, right,
and I've already started to see some of it. I
cannot wait. I'm gonna go to bed here a little bit,
and by the time I get up, it'll all be
bouncing around the echo chamber the League press release, which
(08:15):
will be a gigantic word salad. And by the way,
I don't like salads. I don't like salad, but it'll
be a word salad. Correct application of the rule as
it is written in Phase seventeen of the rule book
after a further review. Spare me, I'm gonna puke in
my mouth. No justice, no peace. This one's going to
(08:38):
echo for days. The Seattle screw job, the Rams got robbed.
Case closed. Now you say the case is closed, but
you think I'm done.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Hell no, hell no.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Let's address my coffee drinking seahawk loving friends. So I
mentioned I did the radio show a little while ago.
Oh I got done. I had a little bit of
a down stretch, kind of reset the battery there for
a little bit, and then I come back.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Into the remote studio to do.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
The podcast, and I made the mistake of opening up
my email, my inbox, and then also went on.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Social media, some of the social media stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And I'm going to say this slowly, clearly, and I
believe with perfectly polished, a perfectly polished golden hammer. For
my friends and those that are regular fans of the show,
some of you I met at the Seattle meet and
greet we did in twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But those of you chiming in from.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Seattle wagging your fingers and declaring that I've gone full
tinfoil houtguy malor you boys think that I've lost my fastball.
You're calling this a conspiracy rant that what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
You're laughing at me.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
You're saying that it's like I've seen sasquatch wearing ram
colors in the end zone. Listen, Regardless of all that,
here's the inconvenient truth. You j'rer bronis. You jackwagons can't
handle and all of you you fall on the spectrum
of Mama Luke.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, let me explain the inconvenient truth.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
A lot of things feel true long before they're actually
officially stamped approved by the people in charge. This is
all stuff that comes out in books years later. History
is littered with examples. This is not fringe, this is
not outer space, this is not street level reality.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
It's not any of that.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
I'm not doing remote viewing what we witnessed in Seattle
last night as we're doing this podcast early on this Friday,
the nineteenth day of December. But you look last night,
that was the metaphorical bloody knuckles is what that was.
It was NFL street justice I get. In my opinion,
(11:02):
it was payback with a smile for m wide receiver
Pooka Nakua, who sent out a comment on social media
and then deleted it after the game. But Pookah is
the guy. He listened, he poked the hornets nest. He
went out of two and twenty five yards receiving, two
hundred and twenty five yards receiving and a couple of touchdowns,
and yet the NFL is like, listen, you poked the
(11:23):
hornets nest live on a live stream Internet stream and surprise, surprise, surprise,
he got stung by the hornet's nest right there, Well,
the hornets in the nest, you prod the hive, don't
act shock when the bees come buzzing.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
And now I know the game. You know some of you.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Are playing, not all of you, but some of you
are playing. Some are just rage baiting.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I know.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It's like, hey, let's poke the mallor hoping to get
a reaction so you feel alive. Right, you get five
minutes in your sorry ass situation.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I want to I'm gonna bust mallards chops, That's what
I'm gonna do. Okay, I'm not talking to you. Okay.
I enjoy busting balls as much as anyone. I love
hitting buttons. It's fun.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I'm amazed how people get so upset over sports takes
on an overnight show. However, here we are, it still
happens all these years later. So I'm not worried about
the rage baiting morons. Right, the ones I would like
to address, and if this is you, you fall into
this category, this basket, the ones that actually believe this
(12:32):
nonsense about there's nothing to see here. And when you
label anyone who questions it a conspiracy theorist. Congratulations, you
have just won the booby prize. You are drinking the
kool aid of the CIA.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
That's right, the CIA.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Yeah, I went there. Buckle up, buccaroo. Now, while the
CIA did not technically invent the phrase conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Didn't you know that?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Way back in nineteen sixty seven, so we're talking almost
sixty years ago, the internal CIA the Dispatch, recommended using
the term conspiracy theorist to discredit critics of what the
time was a very big report, the Warren Commission, and
(13:30):
so the memo from the CIA, it actually helped popularize
the term as a weaponized slur designed to shut down
any kind of debate. You cannot question anything.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Because you will be given cooties.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
You're going to be called a conspiracy theorist and shutting
up a lot of people. You shut them down any
kind of debate by making skeptics sound unhinged.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
How dare you?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
And no, I am not wearing tinfoil headphones. It is
documented history. It's the same playbook as the NC double
a years ago.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
They were facing their ruin.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
People were suing them, people were players, were dying, their girlfriends, their.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Wives, were suing the NCED double A.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
It was called something else, but they came up with
the term student athlete, just pulled that out of thin air.
It was a phrase cooked up to avoid paying workers
comp a cute combination of words ugly motive, ugly motive.
And they did that for so long that people thought
(14:43):
it was legit. They didn't realize it was a hustle
by the nc Double A, and they kept repeating it
even to this day. While players are being paid wads
of cash, more money than Alf and Fergdog get paid.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
To do the show, which is not much, not much.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
But they just give them wads of cash and say, here,
play football for us, play basketball for us. And they
still people still use the term student athlete. And here's
the malor money line. It's not a conspiracy theory in
terms of the NFL stuff or really anything, if it's true.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
It's not a conspiracy theory if it's true. So let's
talk some football.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
What do you say, because the NFL has already released
the hounds, it's gonna get worse. Later I mentioned the
word salad is coming from the NFL. They'll be sending
it to Pro Football talk. And then Florio will post
it and he'll go nutso and all that stuff. So
we know that's coming, but it's already started. Like suddenly,
(15:44):
out pop the rules experts, right, the rules experts like
jack in the box lawyers.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
And as they pop up.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And you know, spin the thing in the jack in
the box, they spin themselves dizzy trying to spit polish
a rusted broken call now one of my favorites, and
I wanted to share with you here on the Fifth
Hour podcast, and I quote, this is somebody that worked
for the NFL.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I don't think they worked for the NFL anymore. They're
former referee.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
The quote was, whether a whistle is blown or not
is completely irrelevant to the two point conversion that was
given to Seattle. Completely irrelevant was the line, so the
whistle is blown or not, it's completely irrelevant. That is
higgely piggly nonsense, is what that is. That's not analysis.
(16:38):
That's called gas lighting. One oh one call him the
gas man whoever said that. And for those that are
playing along at home or at the gym, or at
work or in your car, gas lighting, I think we
all know what that is, but some of you might
not know. Gas lighting is the manipulation of people into
questioning their own reality, into doubting what their eyes saw
(17:03):
and their ears heard, and what we all heard, every man, woman,
and child, clear as a church bell whistle, whistle whistle,
And so that might be the dumbest thing ever spoken
by a human with some kind of credentials to their name.
The NFL wants to have it both ways. Heads they
(17:26):
win tails. You are cuckoo for cocoa puffs. You're crazy,
crazy crazy. You're on the chew crazy trade. You are
when players from both teams let me repeat this for
those of you a little slow. For players from both things,
maybe you're on the spectrum. When players from both teams
(17:48):
stopped playing at the sound of the whistle, including the
numb nuts who casually strolled over to bend down to
pick up the ball. Two full mississippi seconds, one mississippi,
two mississippi after the whistle, that is no longer a
clear recovery by any reasonable definition known to humanity.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Beast or zebra or lizard, person or the grays. I
don't care. If whistles and rules are now.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Open to interpretation, then congratulations, Come on down, We've got
ourselves a rule change. So from here on out, the
lesson is ignore the whistle. It's not just play to
the whistle, it's played through them. Pretend they are hood
ornaments and they're there for decoration. In fact, why even
(18:47):
bother having officials save money. Just let some guy from
Long Island who's in New York blow an airhorn when
the play is over like a monster truck rally, watch
out for the grave digger. By the way, and to
everyone parroting the rule book, because I have seen this
already too this morning. They're parroting the rule book like
(19:11):
it's this scripture. And welcome to the oldest argument in sports.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
It's really in.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Life, the spirit of the law versus the letter of
the law. By the letter of the law, I'm sure
you can futs around and find something there, find something
that the NFL got right.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But by the spirit of the law.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
NFL players are trained from Pop Warner on up.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
We're talking Pop Warner.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
That's when they hear a whistle, the play is dead, period,
end of sermon. The play is dead if the whistle
doesn't blow. And we'll just look at the game last night.
If that whistle doesn't blow, multiple ram players dive on
all of They all dive on the ball be a dogpile,
(20:04):
and you know they're like seagulls dive bombing, drop French
fry on the beach.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
So did that happen?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
No? No, you know, have we gone bonkers?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
No?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Have I joined the Flat Earth Society? No, I've not
joined the Flat Earth Society, although they still send me
emails every once in a while because I blamed Kyrie Irving.
We did a thing about the flat earth and then
the or the Actually, the flat earth people do not
send me stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
It's the hollow earth people. Excuse me. The flat earth
people don't bother me.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
The hollow earth people who were a subset when we
talked about Kyrie Irving and the flat Earth.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Those people reach out to me every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
But I'm just refusing to pretend that water isn't wet
because some rules analysts told me it's dry.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Carrying the water for the NFL. The whistle has to
mean something.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
It has to or the whole thing, the whole operation
for Gayzy, which is the word of the week for
Gayzy seems to be.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
The word of the week.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I feel like I've used it a lot and there's
a lot of things. I'm not rushing to conclusions. I'm
just selling you. I'm telling you that there's a lot
of stuff going on in sports.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Right now that is for gazy is what it is.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
All right now to the holiday radio schedule, by demand,
by demand, I have waited to This is not the
end of a podcast, but it's getting closer to the
end of the podcast, and we will, for ratings purposes,
push back the Santa Benny version of this podcast until Saturday.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
I have some things I want to share with you.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
About my experience, which I love so much, of climbing
to the top of a fire truck and playing Santa. However,
you know, I would assume, because you're listening to the podcast,
you're a high level p one that I by nature
a worker bee. I don't like time off. I don't
(22:06):
trust time off. Time off is it's like a suspicious
relative who shows up unannounced to your house, double parks
in the driveway, and somehow still complains about parking while
also eating all of your food.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
And I had this happen. I've had this happen a
few times.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
I've had people over and they've just gone wild, right,
just absolutely gone wild, and it's maddening. Absolutely maddening is
what it is.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And so.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Every once in a while, even the most stubborn awks
has to leave the plow in the field and walk
back to the barn. You know, this is my passion.
The overnight show, what we call the Ben Mallor show.
It's not really a job. It's not a paying job
at Pizzo.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Okay, but not.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I could be making more money if I did a
daytime show, I'd be making a lot more money. But
it's an audio sweatshop, right, It's a nightly assembly line
of piping hot takes, crazy calls from people like hollering
James and blarn Maine and Lucky Tony rants, Mallard metaphors, mallarisms,
(23:23):
all that stuff. It rolls off the conveyor belt in
the factory of hot takes while most of the world is,
at least our side of the world is drooling in
a pillow, or at least auto pillow. Now I like
it that way. I have more editorial freeman freedom at night.
I don't have people my boss is harassing me. I
(23:47):
thrive under the cover of darkness. Think of me like
an audio raccoon with a microphone, rummaging through the sporting
news trash at three am and loving every second of it. However,
here we are, I have stacked up comp days the
old fashioned way by working holidays most people don't even
(24:10):
know have names. And I have worked the big ones
as well. Thanksgiving, fourth of July, you name it, those
like President's Day.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I don't even know if that's a company hall. I
think it is this federal holiday.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
But while on the fourth line, well, you're lighting fireworks
or carving a turkey on Thanksgiving, I'm carving up monologues
like a Deli slicer on full blast.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And those receipts add up.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
And so this is the the malor math hours in
hours ode on those holidays. And then there's real life
like my wife, who runs a tighter operation than most
NFL front offices, and she is a social butterfly occasionally occasionally,
(24:56):
and so she has us hosting multiple holiday parties. One
of them will take place this weekend, another one the
following week which means that I have to take part
in actual human interaction. I have to get plates, napkins,
I have to smile, I have to pretend like I'm
(25:16):
interested in people telling me stories. I don't care about
eye contact. I am waving the white flag. As a
result of that, I will become Benny the Baker this
week Extreme Baking. I will also be taking the rare
and appropriate time off, which for me feels like skipping
(25:36):
leg day after a decade long streak, or more like,
I guess intermittent fasting, which I have this ridardulous streak going.
But here's the Malar scoreboard, and yes I'm I'm giving
you the information slowly. For the people in the cheap
seats here, it is the big payoff here, the moment
(25:57):
of truth. Plan your vacations accordingly. The Ben Mahlor Show,
not the podcast. The Ben Malor Show, has not one,
but two more live shows in twenty twenty five. We'll
be recapping the NFL Sunday into Monday, and we'll be
recapping the NFL Monday into Tuesday. Now after that, we
(26:18):
go into what's known as suspended animation, kind of like
a sci fi movie, not a good one, not a
good one, where the hero is frozen in a pod,
dreaming of bad officiating and phantom replay reviews and giving
Puka Nakouah, the business and all of that and breaking
(26:38):
down all of this like government spreadsheets. But fear not,
loyalist foot soldiers, you know who you are, My most
ardent supporters that would die on Mount mallor in the
Mallard Militia. The podcast should still be there. Now there
is a chance I make a little road trip. I
will not be flying. I'll be driving somewhere to an
(27:00):
the state, which in the West is a whole endeavored
to go to another state. So if that happens, that
might delay the podcast. I don't know that that will
be the case.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I believe I think.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Will be good on that, and so Benny versus the
Penny should still be breathing on YouTube as well. As
we wind down the regular season in the NFL. The
pantry will not be bare. However, the original recipe, the
full overnight Grind will be put on.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Ice Ice Ice Baby.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
We officially returned from hiatus on Sunday night into Monday,
January fourth into January fifth, and we'll flip the switch
back on like the Frankenstein Monster and minus of course
the neck bolts will mix in extra sarcasm. I'll try
(27:54):
to get some sleep over the next couple of weeks
and then come back recharge. Think of it as our
brothers and sisters in the NBA say, load management, load management.
I'm not retiring. I'm not retiring.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
And if I end up getting fired, it was not
my decision.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I'm kidding, but no, this is a strategic time strategic
time out, not a two minute warning. And even the
most reliable workhorse, whatever you think that is, needs a
pit stop, an oil change, maybe a fresh set of tires.
You need all that stuff before getting back on the
(28:34):
overnight highway where the things go bumpity bump at night.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
So my message to you is thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
And we have two more podcasts this weekend, and I've
got two more ratorships.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
I just want to thank you now. I'll thank you again.
I want to thank.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
You for supporting what we do here. And it's been
a transitional period of time.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
We lost I.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Say lost at He's not dead, but he was like
go by the company. Eddie Garcia is a big part
of the show. And the show's continued on and it's
different than it was and the characters changed. But the
show's popularity has been pretty good because of you, and
so I want you to enjoy the holidays, whatever you celebrate.
If you don't celebrate anything, just have a great day,
enjoy your life.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
I want you to eat too much food. I want
you to gain ten pounds. I want you to argue
with in laws that you don't like.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
I want you to argue with your relatives that are
blood relatives that you also don't like. I want you
to miss me just enough, just enough where you come back,
just enough where you come back, because soon enough it'll
be lights, camera action. The lights will come back on,
the phones will start ringing, We'll be breaking down things
with Marcella and Brooklyn and hollering.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
James and all.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
The characters on the show will return, and the Audio
Sweatshop will reopen for business.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
So we have much to get to.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I will put the baby to bed right now, but
we'll have no podcast on Saturday. I will give you
the Santa Bendi podcast on Saturday. That is my plan,
unless something crazy happens later today that requires another emergency
Mallard monologue like this ridoculous play in Seattle on Thursday night.
(30:19):
So Danny putting this thing together. Danny g hopefully will
join me at some point over the weekend. And later
skater aasta pasta gotta murder, I gotta go
Host
Ben Maller
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