Together as One

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben

(00:24):
Maller starts right now that it does in Hello to you,
and welcome to the magical world of podcasting, which is
not the radio show. We can curse. We can say
bad things that we can't say on the radio because
of the Federal Communications Commission. And this podcast now eight
days a week and we're doing extra podcast for you.

(00:45):
You've been downloading supporting the show, We thank you very much,
and you can hear this podcast obviously you found us,
but tell your friends anywhere you can get podcast, the
I Heart Podcast Network, the Global Reach, it's everywhere. This
is a been off of the Ben Mallery radio Show
because four hours are clearly not enough. And we used
to do this bit where if somebody would call up

(01:07):
and talk and say, hey, can we can we talk
about sumo wrestling, I'd be like, yes, We're gonna get
to that in the fifth hour. Now we'll get to
it in the sixth hour, not the fifth hour. And
joined again by for better or Worse. Say hello to
David Gascon known as GAG. I appreciate that, um. I

(01:35):
was thinking about this. We've talked about gambling a couple
of weeks ago. Have you considered the thought of the
idea of potentially hosting and doing like maybe like a
poker night or like a like a casino night virtually
online with a couple a couple of members of the militia.
Ever thought about that? I have not. I would be
interested in that. I don't know how the logistics, like

(01:56):
a zoom type thing with people like Zoom and like
going on Poker's Stars. That's one set we can go
on and play poker. Whether it's like Texas, Ilmaha or Yeah,
or whatever it may be. We can do something like that. Yeah,
some guys, guys are interested, email us if enough people
are interested, and then I'd be willing to do something
like that, like on a Friday or Saturday or something
like that. My my wife would love it. But you

(02:18):
know why not, what the hell, whatever's comfortable. We we
can do that if you need to. I can produce
some some workout videos for you. Take your mind away
from I was. I told you this on the ear
on the podcast couple of weeks ago. I was thinking
about doing like a YouTube channel with me cooking like
Philly cheese, steak, pizza. H I make a great chicken palm.

(02:38):
Fuck fucking wonderful chicken palm. Not that good, it's great.
You've never had the chicken palm, dummy, I had. It's great,
you dingle Berry, I've not had it. I've never made
chicken palm for you. You came over. I made fahitas.
Is what I made you, dumbbell. You don't even remember
I do. I had fajitas. I had cold raising canes.
That's because you showed up two and a half hour

(03:00):
after the party started. I was working. If you come
in there like a limp dish rag, it's not my
problem that you don't have a hot food, and the
food was hot enough. Just not being a sissy. I'm
not complaining. I'm just you know, you're you're you're putting
this thing as an You're not complaining. You're screaming like
a banshee all the time. You can plain, like seven
times since then about all the food was gold. I

(03:21):
came in there, You're like a psychopath. I was expecting
caviar and champagne, and I got like rump roast. That's
what I got. So that's the greatest fucking fast food ever.
Raising Cane's chicken fingers is it's like being in heaven? Okay?
Do you understand that it's not that good? It is amazing.
It is absolutely amazing. And if you're too big a

(03:43):
lightweight to understand that, that's about you. It's not about me.
Here we go, here we go. That's problem A problem. Yes,
it's a you problem, it's not a me problem. I'm fine.
So are you gonna do this? Are you gonna create
a YouTube challenge just off you cooking? I've thought about
it it I'm not quite at the point where I'm
wanting to do it, because then you gotta, I guess,

(04:04):
if you do it, you gotta start out making a
bunch of videos before so you have some some inventory, right,
you have a stockpile. Isn't that how you're supposed to
do it? So you have to before I announced it.
I would have to like have like four or five
of them done so I can spread them out or
something like that. You know what, I I started watching
this is kind of embarrassing here. Um, but on YouTube
when I'm not watching this weekend baseball, the Cardinals are

(04:28):
flying high over the National League and the white rat
is doing is like, uh, there have you seen this
guy called the Report of the week. Is that it's
like this weird looking guy. I think he lives in
Florida and he just eats like random food on camera
and reviews it and uh, the guys like he's got

(04:50):
like almost two million subscribers. It's really odd, like he'll
he'll do like a ten minute video on eating nacho
fries from Taco Bell. John Juris Sack. Is that his name?
That is his name? Yeah, it's he's actually surprisingly entertaining.
I did not. I'm like, what the funk am I
watching this guy eat California pizza chicken, uh, you know,

(05:12):
a pizza kitchen chicken or whatever. And I'm like, oh, yeah,
but it's it's actually it's he's got this like diminutive
look and it's there's something captivating about the guy. He
looks like he looks like Steve Bushemy's child. Yeah. I
don't know anything about the guy. I just stumbled onto
one of his videos, and I don't watch it every week,

(05:34):
but I'll tell I'll tell you sometimes enough I just
wanna can chill out for a little bit, I'll watch
the video of him eating Popeye shrimp or something, or
the famous one was the the Popeye shedder a cheddar
biscuit butterfly shrimp. He was He was very upset with
that one. That became like an internet meme because he
started complaining about how bad and how disappointed he was

(05:55):
with the butterfly shrimp from Popeye' So that's your that's
your your runavirus quarantine. Guilty, I guess, guilty, guilty pleasure,
Like I don't know it's that, but it's one of
the things I started watching and that that would this
would be different because I would do like a cooking thing.
He he just buys the food and it eats. Well,
it's good. I mean, you can use your your tripod

(06:17):
since you bought a light kit, or you can have
your wife recorded, so you get one or the other.
You can do it now, whether it's in the kitchen
or outside in the back of you then told me
I needed another light and then it's problematic. It's different.
That's for your face and like how you're looking when
you present for Fox, when you do your YouTube videos.
I mean, this is a little different. So with caution,

(06:39):
I'm gonna proceed with one light and then I'm gonna
see how that goes, and then if that is tremendous,
I'll stay there. And uh, I want to get too
carried away. If I keep buying stuff, I'll just keep
doing the show from here forever because I'll invest so
much money in here, and then I'm just gonna keep doing.
Do you people know that you drive a Tesla. I
do not drive a test. That is a lie. I

(07:00):
wish I could afford a test. I can't afford it. This.
That is the status symbol in Los Angeles, the status
symbol here in l A. That's what I said in
l A. No, I mean here like it? Fox? Oh
it Fox? Oh, I see where you're going there. Okay,
good teammate, there, guests, the way to go. I am
a good teammate. Alright, So we gotta get to this.
We got uh we we did last podcast study this
in pod quiz. This time we've got don't stick to

(07:22):
sports and the inbox? Now, which one we which is
the mail bag? Which one do you want to start?
What do you prefer? Because last time we didn't get
to enough uh in the box stuff? Yeah, why don't
we do some mail bag and then when you're bored
with the mail, we'll shift over to don't stick to sports? Okay?
And then the other people I was to say, I'm
sorry we didn't get your question. Guest didn't like your questions, okay,
fair enough, all right, So these are actual questions smashal listeners,

(07:42):
and I'm glad that people have started email questions in
addition to sending in messages on the Facebook page. Was
not happy about that. Yes, uh, he complained and did
did complain. It affected his routine. And I usually put
this up on Wednesday for the podcast, which we record

(08:03):
over the next couple of days after Wednesday. And this
is messing with Coop's mojo. And the great thing is
that I tell people, I say, listen, this is not
for the radio, it's only for the podcast. I say
it every time I post, and every single time I
get several questions for like Roberto or Coop, It's like,

(08:26):
come on, people, I know you're not that stupid. I know,
you know, I know we're alwasy and all that, but
come on, don't be that ignorant. Just just read the
two sentences that I post. It's it's it's come on,
stop being asleep. Okay, fans, these are your listeners. But
if you would like the emails for future editions of

(08:46):
the mail bag, you can email me Real fifth Hour
at gmail dot com. That's what the email we use
for this show, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
You are warned that gascon has access to don't. I
don't have access to any of it. I scrubbed my
emails and why would you scrub your emails because I
had to delete my cookies because my my Mac was
getting slow, so I don't wipe everything out and didn't

(09:08):
save the password to Real fifth Hour. Alright, well good
then just email me. Uh and you have a Facebook
Ben Mallor show. So here are the emails. This one's
from Eric in Chula Vista, California. Shot out my my
homeboys in San Diego. I used to live and work
down there in five Yeah, I worked in Mission Valley

(09:29):
right there and right on Sea World's Rock. That's not
really Mission Valley. Well, no, I, well, I, yeah, exactly,
That's not Mission, but I would. I would go to
what was that Trophies, Remember Trophies in Mission Valley. That
was my spot and hang out there dump. I don't
use open anymore. It was not it was not bad.
It was fine. It was a sports bar. It was fine.

(09:50):
It was very boot liquor, very like dollar I got hacks.
I used to do a show from there like once
a week and everyone so I'd come out there and
hang out and get free food. Good. There were some
hot women that worked there back in let me tell
you something. Yeah, there were. I actually lived right around
the corner there at Padre Gardens, right there next to
Qualcom Stadium. Sounds like a terrible place to live. Be

(10:11):
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Alright, Bannon
gask On, My girlfriend says originally from West l a
west of the four Old five. She hates sports and

(10:31):
sports talk radio. One day she got into my car
and I had the fifth Hour on. She recognized your voice,
Ben as the sports guy and told me to turn
it off. Yeah, she's not the first woman that wanted
to have my voice turned off anyway, The guy's email continues,
This is Eric, He says, I told her there was

(10:54):
like a ten minutes left and it's not sports anyway.
She was pleasantly surprised. Eric said, is during the don't
stick to sports segment. Now she makes us listen to
the show together, and I get in trouble if I
listen to the podcast without her. About that good she's
she's been indoctorated. He's she's been brainwashed. Here, what's the word?

(11:18):
I'm like, I think I used all the words I'm
looking for. Uh, says keep up the good work, even
though it now affects my listening habits. At least I
can now blame a lot of her foibles on her
West of the pretentious, West of the l a west
of the four or five upbring. Yes, Eric, I butchered that.
But yeah, he's saying that you any weaknesses his lady

(11:39):
friend might have there. Oh, I'm sure she's a lovely
lady and a wonderful woman and just a mother Teresa,
But you know she's she's from West of the four
or five, so that means she's got some narcissistic tenancy.
I mean, she's probably a narcissistic but that also means
she's probably smart, looking, tall, vegan, charming, in great shape, educated, wealthy,

(12:02):
good head on her shoulders, well traveled, well spoken. I
like what Eric's doing here. We have indoctrinated her into
the fifth hour. So that's what you do. Like elitist
Ladi da type people. You liked, those snobbish types. Those
are your people there. I'm a man of the people.
I like the working classy. That's the difference between me
and you were the odd a shot. Eric's girlfriends saying

(12:23):
she's not a part of the working class. That's fine. Well, no,
I'm just pointing out that when you grow up west
of the four oh five, miss, you're generally not in
a blue collar situation. Right. You're not working morning, noon
and night. You're not doing that. You're not at some
factory some warehouse busting your ass. It's just the way

(12:44):
it is your world. Well, I don't know about that.
I think that you could be working, but it could
be trunk heatedd hours, or it could be earlier in
the morning or late at night. It could be at
a hospital or a law firm, or or even a factory,
as you manage the factory. It's not exactly like you know,
when I was watching the Karate Kid back in the day,
Mr Miagi, wax on, wax off. They're not waxing, they're

(13:05):
paying somebody else to wax on and wax off. What
I'm saying, Oh, so you're a hater, that's what you're saying.
I mean, I don't listen. I deal with you, but
I know I don't hate this woman, and she listens
to the show, so I love her. She's a very
very few that. We have very limited number of women
that listen to this nonsense. So it's nice when we
have something we know, why would they listen to this?
So it's uh, there we go. Yeah, yeah, they're like,

(13:29):
oh I'm I'm dreaming of guests. Yeah, that's exactly what
the women are. They're like, they're fat. God, you are relentless.
You are such a schmuck. You are such a narrow
minded dope. Alright. Anyway, another email, Berry, and thank you

(13:51):
Eric though, and thank you to your girlfriend. I do
appreciate that. Thanks for the email. Berry and Tennessee says
you mentioned that you had given some thought to leaving California.
If you were to move, what are your top two
states that you would consider? All right, that's a great question, Barry,
And so I did consider it. I have considered it
for financial reasons. I am unable to relocate for both

(14:13):
my my wife's work and UH and currently my work.
Although technically I could do this show from anywhere. We
got Clay does it from his basement in Tennessee, and
we've got guys do it from New York and Connecticut
and all over the place, so I could probably relocate.
But there's some other considerations too that I have to
to look at, so I can't do that. But um,
if I were to leave, but I'd want to go

(14:34):
to a place where I don't have to deal with
the bullshit that I have to deal with in California,
with the police state and the politicians and all that,
and just handing out money to people. Just come to California.
We'll cut your check. Um without working or doing paying taxes. Um.
I I would consider Florida. Parts of Florida, certain parts.

(14:54):
I don't know. If i'd go to the Redneck RIVERA.
I don't know if I do that. I don't think
I would do well there, but certain parts of Florida
I would be okay with. Possibly Texas. I have my
friend lives in Dallas. I think Houston. I couldn't do
Houston because I'd be too close to the Astros. Plus
it's oppressively human and nasty weather in Houston. I don't

(15:16):
know how you people in Houston survived the weather. So
I'd go Florida, maybe somewhere in Texas. Arizona. I could
do Arizona. I could do Nevada. That's like a lateral
type move. Seattles and although Washington State the Seattle area,
although I think i'd have the same problems I have
in California if I went to Seattle, so I don't
think i'd be really getting away from it. Yeah, what

(15:37):
about you, guestan, if you were to leave California, where
would you well? If I left the Great State of California,
I'd either go to Arizona. I love Scottsdale, UM, but
if I had to go summer a little heavy on taxes,
I'd probably go to Colorado. I'd love Denver. City's open,
it's clean, you got all the weed. The Mile High

(16:00):
City not I don't like do Weed, but like the
Four Seasons and pig hockey guy and like to snowboards,
so I'm down for that. Probably Florida too. I think
if we're gonna go anywhere outside of California, like to
have at least a little bit more money in your
pocket from the taxes were paying out of our ass.
So Arizona, Texas, Florida come to mind. But I wouldn't
mind going to Denver. I would try to find a

(16:21):
place with limited tax I also would like to include Boston,
but again, the same problems I have in California would
have in Boston. I lived in the Bay State, I'd
have the same problem. I have been offered jobs in
Boston before, and I I really considered it. Unfortunately my
wife did not go that. That area, though, would be
so fun because you go Boston to New York, New
York down a d C or d C in Philadelphia.

(16:41):
I love it. And it's such a passionate sports town. Boston.
It's like that's like a religion. Man. It's like you know,
some places, it's like they say, you know, if you're
a sports fan in certain cities, you're like you get
upset you go to a game that's it, and you
forget about it. After you leave the game. You might
be upset, but by the time you get home, people
in Boston get upset about something. They wake up still

(17:02):
upset about, which I love. I love that. I love
that visceral reaction that the Boston sports fan hasn't it
would have been a lot of fun. Maybe down the
line it will happen. But anyway, Barry and Chattanooga, this
is the same Barry. He says, Alex Smith is trying
to come back to the NFL. What are the odds
that he ever takes a snap again in the NFL.

(17:23):
I'm gonna go zero percent, Barry. I think there's zero
percent chance, not one, not zero, not half a percent,
zero percent. He will never play another game in the NFL.
You want to push back on that, Guescon, Yeah, I'll say, uh.
For the Redskins, I'll say there's a fifty percent chance
he takes a snap. Are you out of your fucking mind?
I'm not. He's not gonna play again in the NFL

(17:45):
for liability reasons. He ain't gonna play. You know, he's
gonna sign a waiver and release any liabile doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. You know, you can sign a waiver,
but if it's still negligence on the part of the team,
if they allow you to go forward with a main
gold leg like that, and ultimately, if he does play
and gets hurt again, and I don't care, you can

(18:06):
have all the waivers and shove up your ass. He's
still gonna file a lawsuit against the NFL on the
red Skins. What did you think Peyton Manning did dame
that with the Denver Broncos after four next surgeries. Oh,
that's different, though different because Peyton was on steroids from
that clinic in Indianapolis, so he was like he was
he was like the bionic man by the time he
got to the Broncos. That's how he was able to

(18:27):
throw fifty five touchdowns after the Colts. And I have
somebody that that talked to the owner, Jim Ursay of
the Colts and told this guy that Manning was not
gonna play again, and that's why they had to move on.
And they got Andrew Luck because they were convinced, based
on their medical people, that he was not going to
be able to play again. And then all of a

(18:48):
sudden he got those magic beans from that clinic and
Toda seven touchdowns in one game against the Baltimore Ravens.
I was pretty good. Yeah, he was like a robot. Right, Yeah, sure,
you don't care, Ethan, You're like an astro fe. Ethan
an Acorn mailbag rights and says, question for both you guys,
what is your crowning athletic achievement? Ben, you have to

(19:12):
choose something other than losing weight. That's too obvious, young man.
Ethan in Acorn says, all right, you want to go first?
Or should I go first? You're probably gonna do some
out Bundy pop Warner high school football slash thing. No, alright,
my my biggest athletic achieve And now I could talk
about my days in Little league when I hit the
longest home run in Northwood Little League at the time.
I could talk about that. I could talk about my

(19:33):
youth basketball where I was out of breath having to
run up and down the court because I was out
of shape. But the greatest athletic accomplishment I ever had
happened at Dodger Stadium. All right, in a media baseball
game at Dodger Stadium and I hit Well, there's two
things that happened. Okay, one against the Dodger batting practice picture,

(19:56):
I hit a bat. I used a Corey Snyder wooden
at which was my big mistake. But I ended up
hitting a ball off the wall and the power alley
at Dodger Stadium in the right handed batter so left
field there in the power alley, and it bounced off
the walls halfway up the wall, And if I had

(20:18):
used a fucking metal bat, it would have been a
home run. But this shocked everybody. This shocked everybody, the
people that worked for the Dodgers that were there, the
media people like, hey, fucking believe you did that. That's unbelievable.
So that was a great accomplishment. And then in another
media baseball game, I got a base hit off a
guy who led the American League in earned run average,

(20:40):
a left handed pitcher, a two time All Star, a
World Series champion pitcher. And I got a hit off
this guy and he's left handed. Gascon a base hit
up the middle to center field, a laser right up
the middle of the field there, and I gotta hit
off this Jamok, how great is that? It's pretty good.
The guy's name Rick honeycut Rick honey cut who was

(21:04):
the Dodger pitching coach. He's I believe, no longer the
pitching coach, right, he just they bumped him out of there.
But he led the American League and earn run average
in nineteen eighty three, and I got a hit off
this guy. He won a World championship with the Oakland
Athletics in that Babe Bridge World Series in nine. He

(21:25):
played for the Dodgers, the Yankees, the Cardinals, Mariners, the Rangers,
all these teams, and I owned him. I have a
thousand percent batting average against Rick Hunnicut. That's my greatest
athletic accomplishment. Ethan, go ahead, they're guess, tell me about
your high school football glory days. I think my biggest
or best accomplishment was was I guess my first full

(21:49):
year playing playing ball at the juco level. Um, my
offensive coordinator was a past happy guy, my head coach
a run happy guy, and our quarterbacks coach that first
year his first year coaching, Steve Sarkisian. His first year
ever coaching was at l Comuno College before he went

(22:10):
to USC Anyway, So I got I don't know, I
don't know if I want to date myself against hum
but I called a game at saddle back that he
played quarterbacks for Camino. He was an All American there. Yes,
yes he was a glorious Uh kicked our ass, but
I did call a game he did is back in
the death. So yeah, so we're in his offense or
the offense that's that's shared with the offensive coordinator. When

(22:31):
I got recruited there, I played tight end and defensive ent,
but I played tight end there um first year back
from having rotator cuff surgery, ben I had uh I started.
I had all of two catches that season with them
in twelve games. I see like a Todd Christiansen tight
tight end. That's what I like, old school tight end
with like a mullet. Maybe. Well, I had a neck

(22:53):
roll um I had tragic. I had two catches that season,
Mark Bavarro maybe, and I was named All Conference. I
was an All conference tight end with a West Coast
offense that I had all of two catches? Is this
because they nobody watched the games? I blew everybody up.
So I have like the all VHS tapes, and if

(23:13):
you like, if you watched any of these tapes, bed,
there's no way in hell, I wouldn't be flagged at
least five times in the game for unsports from like
conduct or personal fouls like blindside hit after blindside hit.
It was. It was amazing. But that's all I did
was just light people up. So that was my big accomplishment.
So I still got the tape. I'm debating on sending

(23:35):
it to like a digital platform to you know, get
it sync. You might want to get on that there.
Like Costco has that if you're a Costco member, how
much the cost you know? I don't, but I know
because I've gotten stuff, photos and things blown up. My
wife does it a lot of Costco, and so I
know they have a thing with at least they did
a couple of years ago. They transferred like VHS stuff

(23:55):
too to to do. You should do it before for
too long because you're gonna regret it if you don't.
Would you watch it? No? Why not? I have no
interest in it? Would be this goes back to like
the old school you remember, like when you used to
buy and play Madden, Like the Madden intro was always
these hillacious hits. It would be like single till Yeah.

(24:17):
When I before high school football games, we would watch
the NFL Film's Hardest Hits, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I love, I love those Those were great. Those were
for a high school football player. That's porn. Yes, that
so that was my recruiting or like all I did
for recruiting purposes. We had to cut her own tape.
That's all I did. It was I spliced together highlights
of me just blowing up people and just blindside hits

(24:39):
out of nowhere. It was all I could do to
get recruited. But it worked. Yeah, there you go, all right,
those are greatest athletic achievement there and your dreams have
come true. Ethan John, the Jailer and Allantown, Pennsylvania says,
But if you received your stimulus check, dumb question. I'm
sure you're above the cut off, gagon, how about you
still waiting on Minett, still waiting? You've not got You know,

(25:01):
my father got it, and he's been retired for years,
but he got a stimulation that's pretty good, the full twelve.
Uh yeah, I don't know that he needs it, but
you know, I guess he doesn't need it, but it
seems odd. Let's see your Jordan's Jordan writes it. He says,
Are you going out and buying a ram jersey? Uh?

(25:25):
Fuck No, Jordan Jerseys looked like clown costume. John Wayne
Gacy could wear that jersey patches the clown. I'm out
on that. Steve says, is Whoopie Pie Blair good for
the economy and Maine? Well, yeah, Whoopie Pie Blair provided
us with tremendously entertaining radio this week, and so we
thank him for that. Is he good for the economy.

(25:46):
He's good for like the Chamber of Commerce because he
calls a bunch of radio shows and people talk about
the state of Maine. You know, if you're not in Maine,
many people forget about Maine because it's the very end
of the United States, and some people forget about about it. Yeah. Uh,
it's just wild that Blair used to call me from
Orange County and no one knew who the funk he was,
and then he goes to Maine and now he's calling
the Boston shows my show, and suddenly he's this big

(26:08):
sports radio caller guy. It's strange how geography plays a
big role in that. Uh, this guy did not give
his name, says listening to Doug Gottlieb talking about race
and the quarterback position. How do you feel about this? Well,
I didn't hear what Gottlieb said. I just I saw
the part about Deshaun Watson and the Bears and race

(26:29):
and and that part of it. Um, But yeah, I don't.
Usually I try to avoid those things because people you
talk about battle lines on those issues, people just are
over the top. So I generally try to avoid that
stuff because that is the third round. My man. Although
its Gascon says, I've been doing the backstroke in a

(26:50):
pool of acid here mixed with cyanide, and I've been
doing that. AJ and Phoenix says, I love Yoursha. Always
have always a question when Clippers move out of l A,
will you still be Will they still be your favorite team? Yes,
a J. I'll tell you what, It's gonna be tough,
but I will still follow the Clippers. When they moved
to Inglewood. It's not gonna be easy. They will no

(27:12):
longer be in l A proper, but I will still
be a Clipper fan in the hood in Inglewood. Now,
I've heard some rumors the Lakers might move to Seattle
because Hollywood shut down. So the only people that like
the Lakers of those Hollywood Fox and if if, if
it's a completely shut down, they might have to relocate
to Seattle. How great would that be? They can just
get rid of that dumb Laker Nick Dame and become
the Sonics. Be awesome. Never happened, should happen? I think

(27:36):
the world would be a better place to be. Sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
at two a m. Eastern Pacific a Lugo in Lancaster, California.
Shoutout High Desert, shoutout Lancaster Jet Hawks, where I have
thrown out the first pitch. I'd like to do that again.
We were talking about doing that this season. Then they
canceled all the world shut down. I called a I

(27:57):
called the cycle there the only year that I for
the Bakersfield Blaze. A guy hit for the cycle there
at the Hangar Malto. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. That's the ballpark.
I'd like to have that plane out in front there,
the Fighter Jet. Yeah, pretty neat cool set up for
minor league baseball. He says, can we have you and

(28:18):
Coop going to the verbal octagon about the Lakers and Clippers?
Uh No, I would be willing to do it. But
Cooper Loop, if I just say anything about the Lakers,
let me tie. He can't handle he is he is
more passionate about defending the Lakers than Genie Busses. It's

(28:39):
like he is hair triggered. I mean, he is just man,
oh man. He becomes very unsavory when I mentioned anything
about the Lakers, and he can't. So I would not
do that because that would have lingering effects. And I
have to work with him five days a week, so
it's not Wait, what are the lingering effects? Oh, he'll

(29:01):
fail me on Mallard of the third degree. He'll be pouty.
And I don't want to deal with it. I just
I don't. I don't need it. Kentucky J Wrightson says,
if you were single yet had to have a roommate,
who could you see yourself shaping shacking up with? And why? Alright, So,

(29:23):
if you're single, you need a roommate, who do you have?
I don't, I don't. I don't really want a roommate.
I had a roommate, had a couple of roommates everybody
from high school. It was my roommate for years, guy
named Jason. And it was good because we worked different schedules.
He's now a big real estate guy. Uh, I'm good.
I don't know if you get asked this randomly, I

(29:44):
don't know. Guess you want a roommate. Good with a roommate.
My My old roommate down San Diego was awesome. Actually
a good friend of mine went to elementary in high
school with. But he went to U s D. When
I went to San Diego State. And yeah, he worked
like a normal nine to five or eight to five job,
and he was a huge sports fan. So we got
along great. But he was he was quiet and I

(30:04):
was loud. But we had a lot of things in common.
It was easy to live with a guy like that.
But yeah, I don't know, he's not messy son. You know,
I'm notinally living with like Tom Looney. Guy's pig pen
Looney eating protein and you know, sticking up the place.
Brutal Ah. Let's see your do Hampshire Bob shout out

(30:25):
New Hampshire. Bob writes, things has been You are such
a wonderful words with all. Thanks for buttering me up, Bob.
I appreciate that you should just stop the email right there,
he says, can you say the words toy boat five
times fast, toy boat five times fast? Um, can you
say that? I I cannot see that because I know
what you're gonna get me to do. Toy boat, toy boat,

(30:47):
toy boy, toy boite, toy boit. You can't do it.
It's impossible. You can't do it. Toy boat, toy boat,
toyo It is impossible. Damnit. Screw you, all right, I
I you can't. You can't say all right, Carlos in

(31:09):
Bang Bang Houston writes and he says, Ben, what kind
of car is the Malanmobile? I'm glad you asked. It
is actually a Plymouth station wagon. Is the Malandmobile? That
is it? It is a Jelapi. That is what I
drive around. It's not a lie, it's well, it's actually
a Ford Pinto. That's what I have. A Ford Pinto.

(31:30):
That's my car, not a Tesla. It is not a Tesla.
I at one point had an electric I had a
gas electric hybrid. I do not have it anymore because
it was a lemon and I lost a ton of
money on that car. Because they depreciation of the car.
They paid me what they said the value was, even

(31:50):
though it was only like a year old. I was like,
funk these people anyway? Uh, let's see here be. I
don't know if I can read that hold on a
second run a podcast? Why can't you read it? Because
I can't read the words, they don't make any sense.
I didn't I clicked the wrong button here. I'm sorry,
Big Dan in Vermont. He sent a question, but I don't.

(32:12):
I got de leaded somehow. I don't know what the
funk happened with that. Sorry, send it again. J Dot
from Ogden Utahs is back March eighteenth. N Do you
guys remember where you were, J Dodd says, or remember
what you were doing when Michael Jordan announced his infamous quote,
I am back for the nine NBA season, He says.

(32:34):
I was at church and us young teenagers couldn't wait
to get home to watch m J. All right now,
I actually do remember where I was, because I was well.
I don't remember why I was March eighteenth, but I
remember where I was the night before the Jordan announcement.
If I remember correctly, I was at the l A
Memorial Sports Arena. I was covering a Los Angeles Clippers

(32:56):
Miami Heat game. The Clippers were horrible. The heat, We're
also horrible and the Clippers got boat race. This was
like when the I think it was like the Lloyd
Vault Terry the hair era of the Clippers and Glenn
Rice just owned the Clippers, and uh and and there
were rumors at the sports arena that night, the night
before the announcement, that Jordan had decided officially to come

(33:18):
back and he was going to announce something the next
day and and so that was the buzz. Like there
was this, by the way, a couple of years earlier,
the buzz was Jordan had been suspended for gambling. So
uh and that buzz turned out to be right this time.
It has not been proven the other conspiracy. Where were
you Jordans came back? I have no idea, but I

(33:39):
didn't care. Really I was I was the Lakers fans.
I was about like Magic and Company and a lone.
But it did matter to me. And I'll tell you why,
because I started covering the NBA in four season and
I was like, fun, Jordan's not playing, you know, right,
And then I had heard the rumors that the reason
he wasn't slaying was because of this, and then uh yeah,

(34:03):
so uh, Chuck writes and says it is uh immoral
to separate fans from Major League Baseball games canceled the season,
Chuck says, without a dad and his ten year old
sitting in the stands, or a mom with her two
year old child, the natural regeneration of baseball will end.

(34:23):
Within five years. Chuck is predicting players will have zero
interest in playing in empty stadiums. The video games win,
baseball will never accept social distancing. When baseball dies, Chuck says,
America dies, and in my opinion, Chuck says that the
America he knows is already dead. There you how does

(34:45):
he uh? Does he go out and throw the ball
to his kid? Does he play catch with his son?
I can't really ask him right now, I know, but
I mean, it's not a rhetorical questions. It's a rhetorical question, understand.
All Square Head from Maine says, I can find Charman
toilet paper now, and I cannot buy I cannot buy

(35:08):
cheap but irrituring toilet paper, which is good, he says,
But now the pasta issle has been wiped out. What
the fuck? He says, I guess I'm gonna have to
hit the frozen pizza a'le and beer. It's complaining about
the store. I have noticed that that the flower. I
tried to make something and there was no flower. I
couldn't get flower and any of the stores to bake

(35:29):
something like what is that? And it's like the meat shortages,
like the media was laid on that because I started
noticing there was no meat at at some of the
stores I would go to. I don't know if it's back.
I haven't been out to the store that I haven't
gotten the last like ten days or so, so I
don't know if they started to put meat back or not.
I assume not. But that's a that's a pain in

(35:49):
the ass. I wanted to get some tortillas and some beans, cheese,
la salsa, throw that some burritos, some caesadillas. Are you
judging my my eating? Either you or him? Like a
TV Dinners hungry man one pound TV dinner. That's what

(36:11):
I used to eat back in the day. Jess from
Pomona says, no question this week, more of an observation. Ben.
We know you've been doing your in a minute fasting
to lose weight, but let's be honest here. The real reason,
Jesse says, you are is You're carrying around two pounds
of dead weight three days a week on this podcast. Uh.

(36:35):
He goes on there, and then he says, be safe
this weekend in communist California. As we found out, we
have to endure this for at least another three more months.
There's from from Jess. I think that was a shot
at you. Yes, I was gonna ask you how much
does he swallow? Because it sounds like it's a whole
hell of a lot. Well, I assume when he eats

(36:56):
something and you drink a bevere no teeth, he swallows
exactly what I'm talking about. So next time we appear
in Pomono, make sure Jesse, I'll introduce you to Jesse
and you guys can can have a bromance there. Jason
in the Rocky Mount Virginia says, Hey, guys, what is
your favorite movie from the eighties slash nineties? Two thousand's

(37:18):
past decade? I don't favorite Genies movie for me was
Ferris Bieler's Day Off. That was my favorite. I like
Major League, great movie. Major League is great. I like
good Fellows. I guess that was probably the eighties too.
Good Fellows was great. Nineties Braveheart. I don't remember. I

(37:39):
don't really seen many movies recently, but I like documentaries.
I got great reviews. People loved Operational Dessa Gascon. We
did a thing on that people liked it. That was good.
And so anyway, do we have a few. Don't stick
to sports stories, you do? How about this one? A
man in Florida has been arrested after his cots driving
and pleasuring himself thirty two years of age. Ben, Who

(38:03):
did When did weed man get a car? I don't know.
He sure it was him? It could have been. It
could have been that guy from Ohio that like fluidically
get COVID and came back home and doing nothing. Now
that's a good point. They could be that guy. Anyway,
he's driving around and he's, uh, he's like doing the
free Willie thing. So yeah, he's just driving up and

(38:23):
down a highway, a highway sixty in fact, when women
were looking at him and he would literally just unbutton
his pants and start jerking off, and when police not
allowed guess not, police looked down upon police could front him.
And all you said was he was hot. Yeah, I
think the problem was they were hot and he was
getting hot. From them being hot and then uh yeah,

(38:45):
that's the We should do a Florida Man. We haven't
done Florida Man. Used to rip me when he to
Florida Man. But you're doing Florida Man. We should do
a segment on Florida Man. There's so much content from
Florida Man and Florida Woman. We should just do that.
Maybe next week we'll do Florida Man Florida. Fox Sports
Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation.
Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot
com and within the I Heart Radio app search f

(39:08):
s R to listen live. How about this one? In Holland, Michigan,
Google's pub and Grill recently started implementing ben a COVID tax,
a COVID tax. So the owner of the of the Bar,
Brad White, says his joint had added an extra eighties
six cents to every bill two factor in for to

(39:30):
go bags, silverware, condiments, containers like all that stuff that's
going on. And it's only for takeout or delivery orders.
But he's charging everyone an additional eighty six cents per transaction. Yeah,
fuck him, and I'm not going you know, I don't
need your stupid nonsense, So screw you. How about this one? Um,

(39:53):
This one was criticy of the New York Post, and
I think this is probably more appropriate for us study this.
But men in the United States reportedly, UM, they're less
attentive when it comes to using the UH the face
masks than women, especially in UH in counties that don't
mandate it. The biggest reason for that is it makes

(40:13):
them feel like they they have a larger effect um
on women than they do on men. So men think
that like the masks don't do anything for them and
it's not cool, so they're not wearing them. Yeah. Well,
this is the thing about the mask. Like we've talked
about this in the past, there's different research on that
whether it helps you, it hurts you and your lungs

(40:35):
you need to breathe, and if you have the mask
on all the time, it's a problematic situation, especially if
you're working outdoors and doing that kind of stuff. So
it's not a consensus on it. But then you got
the other thing. People are shaming people for not wearing masks.
We have a story in a previous podcast about this
guy's daughter that has asthma and the doctor told them
that that it's it's actually more trouble for your daughter

(40:57):
to not to have a mask than to not wear
a mask. Ask and she's nine years old or whatever,
so she was getting shamed. It's that's and you wonder
how long this mass thing is gonna last? Like, are
we gonna be sitting here a year from now? And
we people like you have to wear the mask. If
you don't wear the mask or the devil, you're the
anti Christ? Is that where we're gonna be at? I
hope not? Well, how about this? That's a great segue.

(41:19):
MGM Resorts earlier this week and veiled a seven point
safety plan to reopen Las Vegas and particularly their casinos
and hotels. Part of that, employees will discourage players from
standing except when they're playing craps, and guests will be
asked to not stand behind players or stand next to
them when they're at a table. This is in Vegas

(41:42):
series netin City. Yeah, I gotta go to Vegas, but
I don't know if I have to go right now?
I know me, Come on, are thinking? How long is he?
How long are those things gonna last? The? Oh god?
Well how about this? A U K newdist organism Asian
has reported a one increase in new members during the

(42:04):
coronavirus pandemic as isolationists increase. That means women strolling around
their houses naked and people are just watching them and
taggle on subscribing. Wait wait wait, wait, so there there's
a site you go to and you can watch them
walk around. They can. Yeah, it's it's a group called
the British Naturism. It's a group that promotes living every

(42:26):
day without clothing. Alright, members of last two months. Alright,
A couple of thoughts. Now, First of all, when if
you're of a certain age and you hear this, like
if you're a young guy in your twenties, you're you know, hornball,
You're like, my god, think about these beautiful women that
are walking around naked and how arousing is that? How
how stimulating is that? And then when you look at

(42:48):
what a nude beach looks like, you're like, holy fuck,
these are people who were like seven layers of clothing
and they're out there walking around naked. What the funk
are It is odd? Like the very few really hot
people will go to a like a beach. Not that
I've been to a naked beach. But I've have friends

(43:08):
that have been and have told me some amazing stories
about how they will never go back and it they
still have to wash their eyes out to uh, to
get rid of the stuff that they saw. If you're
a nudist, though, Guesstcon, you've you've done nude stuff, right,
I mean yeah, not in public though, But you know
what she said. Vegas, Uh, Vegas would have a couple

(43:30):
pool parties that were strictly topless. Oh yeah, yeah, those clubs.
One of the big mallam militia guys in Vegas runs um.
He's one of the managers at one of those big
nightclubs and day clubs in Vegas. Yeah, I got a connection, guest.
This guy's a good guy. He'll hook you up. They click.
I don't need the hook up right now. Probably you

(43:51):
don't want to go hang out in the pool with
a bunch of other people. You're not interested in that, man.
I just remember the days like I wouldn't do it,
but I would go, like to the hard rock pool
or some of these other pools, and at the end
of the day when people start leaving the pool or
just it's just blaque or like green and just you
don't know what the fund is in those pools. It

(44:11):
just looks like a cess pool of death. It's pretty
funny to see when people leave after those days. Yeah,
that's it's not good. I I went, and I when
I went, I was like, it was just several years back,
maybe like seven or eight years. I went to one
of those day clubs in the pool, you know what,
I'm in there and I'm not coming around. I'm like, whoa,
who doesn't belong here? You know. I'm like me, It's like,

(44:31):
I don't belong here. And they're like, we're giving us
all these free drinks and stuff. And it was great.
I mean, they were very generous and nice. But I'm like, yeah,
I think I should stick to the nightclub of anything.
But I probably do old for that now too. So
who knows. If you go to Europe, I mean, things
are a little bit different out there with ages. So
is that right? Guess do you what do you got
just implying, you know, with the Mallary bank roll, you

(44:53):
go to Monte Carlo, we can go somewhere else overseas
and casinos the night laugh a little bit different in
a shade. Okay, thanks for the inviting. You know, I
appreciate that the evolution of Ben mallag here in twine.
Here we go again, head again, you had working that
anything else you get there, that's it, all right there,
it is, Thank you again, another marginal podcast and we

(45:17):
we will be back inside the Magic Radio box. This
is a Sunday if you're listening to it on Sunday,
and we'll be back Sunday night into Monday two am
on Monday in the East, that's eleven pm in the West.
On Sunday night, we'll talk about whatever the hell happened
this weekend. This will be the last night of the

(45:37):
Last Dance, so we'll discuss that and you can contact us.
I'm on cameo if you want your own personalized video
for a birthday, wedding, bar mitzvah, funeral, you name it.
You want to settle a bet, it's great. You can
keep that just for you and your friends, and it's
on cameo. Look my name up. I'm also available on

(45:59):
Instagram Ben mallor, on Fox Facebook, Ben Mallory Show, and
on Twitter at Ben Mallard gasco Me. I'm on Twitter
at Dave you forget No. I was waiting for the
full introduction, but yeah, Twitter at David J. Gascon, Instagram
at Dave Gascon And if you guys are interested, we

(46:19):
can put something together. You can email Ben and we'll
see if we can do like, uh, like a poker
night or something like that. We can do like a
casino night and get a few of the Mallard militia together. Yeah,
I got you. Ah, yeah, yeah, we'd like to do that.
If you're interested, we'll set that up on like a
Friday or Saturday, will set a certain time that works.
All right, Listen, have a wonderful, glorious day today and

(46:43):
we'll catch you next time.