All Episodes

May 31, 2020 45 mins

No weekend comes to a close without acknowledging you, the audience! The guys swing back into the studio by digging deep into the mailbag to answer some loaded questions. Things are still a challenge with the coronavirus keeping many away from work, but Ben and David decided to dedicate a full episode to see what is running through your minds.

Make sure to subscribe, rate, and post a review of the podcast whenever you get the chance.

Engage with the podcast by emailing us at RealFifthHour@gmail.com

Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and on Instagram @BenMallerOnFOX

David is on Twitter @DavidJGascon and IG @DaveGascon

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of
Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour

(00:23):
with Ben Mallarck starts right now. That it does, and
we are in the air everywhere the vast power of
the I Heart podcast Network the global region. As you know,
you found the podcast available wherever you get your podcasts.
Eight days a week. We're doing this thing. This is

(00:44):
our Sunday podcast because four hours or not enough during
the week, and continue to download, get the message out,
let other people know, spread the gospel. The most effective
advertising is word of mouth advertising. Plus we have no
ad budget to promote the show. So if you really
want to get the message out and have us keep
doing these extra podcasts each weekend, it is up to you.

(01:07):
It is up to you to keep growing the audience.
The numbers continue to go up, up, up, up and away,
and so keep that going there and we will continue
to turn out from the Salt minds of podcasting multiple
multiple podcast every weekend, and joined again by David gascon

(01:27):
known in the none of the hallways as Dad. It's uh,
it's nice to know what I'm known by in the
hallway since you're not around anymore. That's kind of you.
You've gotten in a few times to pick up my mail.
You know, it's I don't know. I don't know about
all that. I'm I'm here a lot more than you are,

(01:48):
which is unfortunate. But you know, why is that unfortunate? Why?
I don't? I think that's fine. I'm fine with that.
I don't know. I mean, you're gonna think about other
people more than yourself. I mean, people like to talk
to you and communicate with you, and you know, it'd
be nice if you hung around every so often. But
it's fine, It's fine. Wow, you are such a diva.
I mean, you are out of control here. You know

(02:10):
that reminds me of being out of control. We've got
a note from sports ship Mark he said, funny and original,
Ben Gasconnor geniuses. That was a great review on on
on iTunes. That was great. H How about this one
from Steve giscon sucks fire his but I'm not hired,
so I can't be fired. Okay, I like to you

(02:31):
cherry pick the positive good to hear hack saw on
the on with the Nocturnal Colonel. That was a good one. Oh,
you're looking at the reviews? Is this what you're doing here?
I had to pull some of up because when we
acknowledge like we need to have the reviews does help
people started actually reviewing and adding some comments. That's always
pretty nice to get this. No, like we have because

(02:53):
you because you're gonna you know there's gonna be some
negative ones here. Well, there's there's definitely five stars, so
there's nothing negative about this. We have two hundred and
six ratings and a D ninety eight of them or
five stars, so nothing negative about that. So for some reason,
you're lucky, You're you're saved because I'm clicking on it
and it's not well here, let me help. But Trevor
Belmont said, Ben and Dave keep us entertained all the

(03:16):
time in the fifth hour, from random topics to what's
next with sports topics. These guys are just great and hilarious.
Thank you, gentlemen. How come I can't click on this
though I'm trying oh there it is all right, No, no,
I found it, you know I found it. Hold on
a second. Oh boy, let's see here, let me page.
And when most of them are very positively, what's the

(03:37):
what are the worst reviews? Do we have the Fifth
Hour slowly becoming a Fox News podcast? That's from Big Dog.
There you go. That's one star that triggered guy over there. Yeah, hey, listen,
I enjoyed the fifth keep watching, keep watching CNN over there,
big guy, you're okay, go ahead and knock yourself on.
How about this one? I enjoyed the Fifth Hour show

(03:59):
much much more, especially with the banter with the egomaniac
David Gascon. It's pretty nice. It's kind right, No, no,
not not at all. Uh, very entertaining, but not for
young years. Pops rights in Big Ben is always fun,
and Gascon is uh yeah, I forget what the last

(04:20):
I can't read that last part. That last it's a
great sidekick. No, no, I don't think that anyway. All right,
you I like that you're just cherry picking the ones
that are being nice to them. How about Keith Talk?
Keith Talk said, only because I can't give Ben a
sixth star, So that's that's a p one. That's a
Mallem Militia man right there. That's a good foot soldier

(04:42):
and the Mallem Militia. What about Chiggens came for the
Mallards stayed for the gascon. How about that? That's good? Yeah,
that's really good. Your dad put that on there. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
weekday SA two a m Eastern eleven pm Pacific on

(05:02):
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Anyway,
let's get to it. Here we go. We have the
mail bag. All this entire podcast is just the mail
bag guest on That is nothing but us answering the
questions of fans of the show as we give back.
It's our public service to the Mallar Militia, the people
that provide us with the ability to do this nonsense

(05:26):
like yourself listening right now, and so we'll just run
through this and again, if you want to send us
a message, there's plenty of ways to contact the show,
The Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. If you
don't have social media, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com, Twitter,
Ben Mallard, Instagram, Ben Mallar on Fox Facebook, Ben Mallers Show,
and of course on cameo as well for me and

(05:49):
you can reach out to gascon in in addition, so
we've we've got that. But first email from Fats in
Philadelphia the man slid himself on fire twice in the
last couple of months. While shouting my name, he says, Ben,
have you ever been to Cooper's Town? If so, how
many days would you recommend? By the way, I'm watching

(06:10):
the Ken Burns documentary Baseball again on PBS. Yeah, that
was a great documentary series. The early part of that,
in particular there when they were the old footage they
found that was awesome. I've not been to Cooperstown, Fats.
I had the opportunity once. I was driving from Buffalo
down to the New York City area and I was like,
I'll stop off on Cooperstown. You know, driving through the

(06:32):
middle of New York. There's not much going on there,
and it was so far off the highway that I
was on. It just was not worth it time wise.
So I did not end up going to Cooperstown, but
I've had friends that have gone there, and I believe
you've got to spend at least two or three days
to really get the gist of it. But but you know,
if you want to go quick, you can just run

(06:53):
really fast fats and then get through all of it.
Have you been to Cooperstown, guest gun No, I haven't
been to any of the Hall of Fame facility. I've
been to the worst Hall of Fame museum, the only
one I've been to. I have been to the Pro
Football Hall of Fame, have been there, have been to
the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, having to
the baseball Hall of Fame. I've been to the n
c a A Hall of Champions in Indianapolis, which is terrible.

(07:14):
And the reason is terrible is because they're they're trying
to be politically correct and there for every male athlete,
they had to have a female athlete, and uh, unfortunately
most people that go there don't really want to see
the softball player. You know what I'm saying? Is that
sexist to me? Or is that accurate of me? I mean,
which what is it? I think it's kind of accurate.
Have you been to the NHL Hall of Fame? I
have not. That's in Toronto. I have not been, all Right,

(07:39):
Richard from West Covina and so cal writes, and he says,
when all sports were shutting down due to the pandemic,
what were you think? Were you worried? Did you start
to rethink how the show would be presented? Richard asked
there and he says he's actually enjoyed the last few
months here have been some of the best shows that

(08:00):
he's heard, so he's a fan of that. Well, thank you.
Uh well, I remember that night because I had prepared
some of the my my monologues, my my bullet points
with the monologues. I had that ready to go, and
then I was flipping around watching NBA games like I
usually did back in the old days. And then like
all of a sudden, I see this thing in Oklahoma City.

(08:23):
The game was delayed between the jazz and the thunder,
and then like like all this crazy ship started happening.
It was a total ship storm, one after another, and
it felt like I was an extra in a some
kind of apocalyptic movie. It's like it was happening in
real time. There was a story came out Tom Hanks,

(08:44):
a test depositive for the coronavirus and his wife had
in Australia, and then uh, the games on the West
coast were being postponed, and then and then all of
a sudden announcement that Rudy Gobert had tested positive of
the Youthah jazz and they were telling people leave the
arena and all this stuff was happening. So I was
I was like, at that time, you didn't really know
what the hell was real, what was not. You didn't

(09:06):
know the science on it, so you were like freaking
out a little bit. And then I remember driving not
that night, but a couple of days later, when I
was still going into the radio station driving home. Richard
and I've mentioned it in previous episodes, but I felt
like I was like the last man on earth, Like
do you expect a certain amount of car, certain amount
of traffic going and coming home from work even when

(09:27):
I work, and there was nothing there was there was nothing.
I was like, I was like the somehow the sole
survivor of the plague and everyone else had gone away.
It was like a Twilight Zone type thing. So it
was a little surreal. I remember. I just remember like
reaching out to friends and family and then like picking
up cash, Like I went to the bank and I

(09:48):
got cash just in case something happened. We're you know,
because people are throwing out like martial law or like
these giant quarantines, and we weren't able to leave our
houses or do anything else. And so I was thinking
more along the lines of like the family and friends
and who would be impacted by it. So I was
kind of like racing up and down my phone and
check and see, like if anyone needed anything or wanted
anything before we're all stuck inside. Ye be sure to

(10:10):
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Jesse from Promoter Rights
and says, Hey, Ben, how close are you to the
eleventh hour? Is your job in jeopardy because of the
sports hiatus? Uh? Well, Jesse to answer that, that's a
legitimate question, because if this does continue long enough, my

(10:31):
job will be in jeopardy. I do not believe it
is at this particular moment, because things are gonna start
to open up in July and as long as we
get that content and the advertising market, it really is
depending on the advertising business. We're in the advertising game,
and so people are spending money on advertising, and you
hear a lot of commercials on the show. That's a
good thing, and that will help us out as long

(10:53):
as the ratings are good. If those There's two things here.
There's a lot of variables to this, but the main
parts are the audience. They are number one. That's the
most important things, the audience there. But in many respects
number two is also is important because you have to
have advertisers otherwise that we can't pay the bills. And
so those two things. But I think we're doing all right.
I think we're doing all right. Not as good as

(11:13):
we could be doing, but we're doing doing okay all
things consider, what do you think we could be doing better? Well?
The advertising market would if that when you stop hearing
as many p s A s and you hear more commercials,
that's a good sign. Is that a shot at me? Like?
Do anybody mean something different like on this show? Yeah? Well,
I mean yeah, I would like to do more live reads.

(11:34):
I don't think we do any live reads on this show.
Like that. We commercials would be good. Absolutely. Is that
an indictment on me? Yes? Everything is about you, Gasca.
Any reference I make is a shot at you, a
cheap shot your direction. Are you happy, sniper? No, I'm
just asking to you. I mean if you said we
can do better, like you know, I'm curious. I can

(11:55):
ask you, right, can I ask you like how we
can do better? We could have more advertage us. That's
the answer. Mike from Boston and't write and he says,
why do tug boats push their barges? It's a great question, gues.
You have an idea why tug boats push their barge.
They can't pull him, So that's your that's your answer.

(12:15):
I think he wanted like a tug joke. I think
he was looking for a tug joke. You know, I
don't have a tug joke for you. Are you too
highbrow for that? You can't make a tug joke? And
I'm just not funny, that is true. Yeah, Gascon needs
to have Tesla come up with a way to implant
the funny bone. Man. I did listen to Elon Musk

(12:37):
there a night. He's got some wild ship going on,
Yes he does. He's got he's got something. I know
it's been in the making for a long time. I
think it's talking about the brain thing. Yeah, the neuralink. Yes,
that is that is out of a horror film. Yes,
I was listening to him. Pub that thing there night,

(12:57):
and I was like, what I understood some of the
benefits because he mentioned people with dementia or Alzheimer's and
so some that stuff, people that are paralyzed that they
say they think they could turn on the things to
help them move their limbs again and all that. Yeah,
that's that's some intense ship that would you be for it?

(13:20):
You know, I wouldn't be against it because but it's see,
the problem is it would be it's it's kind of
like you look at like nuclear weapons in theory are good,
but then there can be misused, you know what I mean.
Like it's so it's like it's it's people started out
with the best of intentions and then things get hijacked. Like, yeah,
if you told me that this would only be used

(13:42):
for people that have horrific illnesses that you know, their
their life is, you know, somewhat fucked up compared to
a normal life, and this could give them a much
better life and could turn their lives. I mean, who
would say no to that? But then the problem is
you then would I could see that being used and
tore true situations to give people some of those conditions. Yeah, uh,

(14:07):
let's see mo par Nation in Middle Georgia says Ben,
how bald are you? Uh? Well, I'm not bald. It's
very thin. Heading towards the call to sac. I'm getting
towards the call to sack. But the the the issue
I've got is that since the hair on the sides
of my head and the back keep growing, the top

(14:28):
doesn't grow that much, so it looks really awkward. Like
if I get a haircut, it won't look that awkward.
It'll still look like I'm losing some some up top,
but it's not gonna look like it looks now, which
is brutal. So and plus the lighting, I've determined the
lighting is important. But they call me the mad Hatter
of sports chatter, so as since I am the mad

(14:49):
Hatter of sportschatter, just keep boarding hands. Hey, did that
reminds me? How's the because your wife got you a light? Kid? Right?
Did you set that up yet? Well, the last part
of it. Remember the previous episode we talked about the
home studio, the home studio and all that and uh,
and so that is part. I will be sitting up
the light. Okay, very nice, you will see the light. Well,

(15:13):
just it heads up. If you're worried about the coloring.
You can adjust it to three different tones. What do
you think my best color is? I think that with
that light, I think blue would probably be your best blue.
Really yeah, I think blue would be good for you.
Why why is that? Well, because because of your skin
pigment and then also because of the colors that you wear,
like you use your wearing a hat, so like if

(15:34):
it's Dodger blue, I think I think I said at
night with like an Iowa Hawkeyes, that's a good looking hat.
Yeah yeah, yeah see, And so I think the blue
would look I think, well, I guess it depends on
your background to whatever the studio set up is going
to be, but I think blue is best. Be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week
days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific, not even

(15:56):
an acara rights inst Do you guys think if hockey
is the first game back into town it will gain
new fans or will people only care temporarily like the
World Cup? Also Gagon sucks eggs like this from uh yeah,
the hockey thing. If they are the first back, there
will definitely be a bump up in audience. In my perspective.

(16:21):
First of all, I think it'd be great for hockey
to be the first back, and it would be a
big f you to all the other sports if they're
the first ones to come back. That's great. That adds
to the legacy of hockey being a tough man sport.
You've gotta have great to play hockey and all that.
That adds to all that stuff, the mythology of hockey.
So that's the first part. The second part is, yeah,
I think the audience would go up. It would not
stay high, but you bring in new people to the store,

(16:46):
and some of the people are gonna buy stuff. You
know what I'm saying, Like you want foot traffic in
your store, because most people won't buy something. But the
more people you have, the more people that are possible
to buy the product and to fall in love with hockey.
So they're not gonna sustain ethan the ratings, but they
can certainly increase the ratings going forward, and some of

(17:07):
those people will say, actually, like this, I'm gonna keep
watching when things return back to normal. And then the
other thing too is you don't have any polarizing superstars
in the NHL that have made comments towards like labor negotiations,
or towards like competing, uh, contracts and salaries like you've
gotten with the NBA and Major League Baseball. So if
you get those elements that come into play with the

(17:30):
return to action and you don't have guys making it
about money, I think that does a lot for the sport.
All right, Carlos in Houston says, what are your updated
odds on baseball coming back? Also, can you answer the
question blind Scott asked Marcel is he a moron on
the radio or a moron in real life? Uh? Well, Carlos, listen,

(17:52):
let's start with the blind Scott thing. Blind blind Scott
very rude there to Morris. Marcel. I don't know a
lot about him. I just know from the phone calls,
and I know a little bit more than the average bear.
But yeah, Marcel's um a little challenge in certain areas.
But that's all right. I mean we're the great thing
about the Mallard militiap is we welcome everybody. We we
goof on everybody. You have to be able to take

(18:13):
it and and all that. And uh yeah, so Marcell's
got some stuff going on. I don't know the details
how bad it is or how good it's not good.
But I don't know a lot about that. But we've
got some a few things going on there. Uh And
as far as the updated odds on baseball, I'm gonna
say there's a sixty five percent chance that baseball is
played this year, and I just can't wrap my mind

(18:36):
around them going from well, we don't want to take
a pay cut at thirty percent. So anyway, the owner's goal,
as we're doing this in real time right now, my
belief is the owner's goal is, all right, we're trying
to get them to take a you know, sixty percent
pay cut or seventy percent pay cut, but we'll we'll
be willing to take a fifty percent pay cut, you know.

(18:57):
So there's a little wiggle room there and they can
hash it out. But the rhetoric has certainly been ratcheted
up in the last couple of days, and that we're
doing this as we're recording the podcast, so we'll keep
an eye it. But I'm still going I'm looking forward
to either way, we didn't get the fucking We need
to get the country back in motion, either ship or
get off the pot. Yeah. R J in sane and Tonio.

(19:21):
What's the fastest speed you've gone while driving an automobile.
I think I've been asked this before r J. And
I've never had cars that have really been able to
go all that fast, but in my younger days I
would crank it up. But maybe, like I think the
most everyone like a there's a certain speed you go
and then you're like if if anything goes wrong, I'm dead,

(19:43):
And I don't normally look forward to that. I try
to avoid that. Like for every five miles you increase
the speed, the chances of an accident being really bad
go up, up, up, up up up in that way,
what about you guess, and you've probably you're hood them. Yeah,
I mean I cheated once. I did drive a stock
car in Fontana, and I was able to get that

(20:06):
thing up to a hundred and sixty seven miles per hour. No,
thankfully I didn't crash it. I was scared shitless though,
because you've gotta sign a waiver. Yeah, you gotta send
a huge ass waiver, and there's a lot of fine
print but not fine and in bold red letters, is
like you crashed his vehicle, you owed this much money.
So I was scared. How much did you owe if

(20:27):
you had crashed? It was like, well over seventy tho dollars,
so wow. Yeah, I mean it was a beat up
stock card too, So I did that. But on the streets,
I think the fastest I've ever traveled was like one eleven. Okay,
so around what I've I've done? Yeah. Pete from Cedar Rapids,
Iowa says we have a dog who eats his own poop.

(20:49):
Has Doc Mike ever tried eating his own poop poop
since he drinks his own urine, I'm asking for a friend.
Uh No, Doc has not done that so far, but
somebody tells him it's the cure to living forever. I'm
guessing Doc will start getting some ketchup and mustard out
and forking knife and knock himself out. Yeah, it's the

(21:14):
great Doc. Kevin writes this, this this is that you ever think, Ben,
you would be more popular than Lee hack Saw Himmel. Well,
Kevin's very kind of you to say that. I do
not think I am more popular than Lee Hacksaw Harmilton's
but it is nice that I am a contemporary now
of of Hacksaw, which is kind of cool. Darryl in

(21:34):
Nevada Rights and says, why not give each of the
crew a power our Well, this is like what we
were talking about earlier this weekend with the Power Hour,
and people are saying you Gascon should get one. Other
people say Eddie or Cooper Roberto. And my answer to
Darryl is the same answer I gave earlier is that
you guys all work for the company. You have access
to the microphones we're trying to highlight during the apocalypse,

(21:58):
some of the show contribute news that provide us with
content and learn more about their lives and what makes
them tick and what they do when they're not staying
on hold to talk on the show and those kinds.
It's understandable, I mean, especially because you get people that
call it all hours and they're not sleeping and therapeutic
right like you are there. You are their therapists. Many

(22:20):
of times I'm the shrink. I am uh see Travis
in Roseberg, Oregon. Right, Since as if you had actually
placed real bets on marble racing, not just hypothetical, how
far up would you be? Well, Travis, I've not done
some kind of ven diagram to look at what I
have done success wise, but I've I'm pretty confident I

(22:42):
would be ahead, I would have extra money here, I've
I'm pretty accurate on that. I gotta tell you though,
full disclosure, I'm not really watching the Marble racings much
Marble racing much these days. Once it popped up on ESPN,
I said, it's gone mainstream and I'm out. Uh And
I liked it when it was. I feel like I
was one of the first people to find it after

(23:03):
the pandemic started, and then once it started getting some traction,
I was like, Uh, go find something else to watch.
So I haven't been watching it much recently, but I
did watch a bunch of them. Do you ever watch
like the Russian uh slap the face slap competitions or
whatever they do those matches? Oh? Yeah, those are pretty good.
Those are intense because the best part is you get

(23:24):
certain dudes with the big hands, but they slapped the
guys not necessary on the face, but right behind the ear.
And when they do that, it's like game over. Guys
are usually dropping like flies. Jason from Rocky Mountain, Virginia
rights and has. He says, as either of you guys,
have either of you guys ever been bowling and if yes,
do you recall the highest score you had? Yes, of

(23:45):
course I've been bowling, just go bowling a lot. Haven't
been bowling in several years, and I do not remember
the highest highest score I've got. I mean, I've always
said bowling it's not about how you do. It's about
socializing and drinking. And that's why bowling is the number
one participation sport in a in America. Um, that is

(24:07):
the number one sport. More people bold than do any
other sport, and more people bold and play basketball, and
more people bold and football, baseball, golf, tennis, because you
can be out of shape and it doesn't matter, and
you can drink and it it's encouraged. So what about
you guessing your west of the four oh five? So

(24:29):
you likely don't bowl very often at all. And I
think my high score everyone was like a one thirty six.
It wasn't that good. My problem is I'm a lefty,
so I have absolutely horrific control. Like everywhere I'm throwing
the ball down the lane, like I'm missing pins left
and right. Sometimes I'll catch fire if I go to
my right. But yeah, I mean it's the ultimate right drink.

(24:49):
A couple of a couple of beers, a couple of
cocktails on the cheep, and then you're at the alley.
So so you're blaming your left handedness as an alibi
as a fall guy for you not being a a
big bowler. Well, I'm just it's notorious that left handers
have zero control. So my accuracy is not not a
skill set that I have. So yes, all right, Ryan

(25:12):
in Minnesota, right since his big betting crew, what would
your mount rushmore of callers be? Oh boy, this is
right up here. Wheelhouse guest guy Genie met Ford, Doc
Mike Dick and Dayton and Marcel and weed Man are
my favorites. Ryan says, I'm glad you liked those guys. Ryan,
Genie's gotta be in there. And I'm not gonna spend

(25:32):
too much time in this, but Jennie's great docs. Doc
Mike has been with me a long time. I get
a kick out of his stick a luck. Pete and
Pittsburgh was great back in his heyday. He's retired now
as a caller, but Pete was was very good. We
had wonderful times with Pete and Pittsburgh. And uh, Jimmy
Ray from Tampa Bay was one of my favorites. He

(25:53):
passed away a few years ago. Moonshine Mark is another
one that I loved. Also has gone on to the
per league gates and left us. Um. So there's there's
a few others that have randomly called in, and I
like an other guy's underrated. Although he's not a he's
not a long form caller. He's more of a short
form caller. Is Pencil neck Ray. I love Pencil neck Ray.

(26:15):
I think he's very funny. I enjoy him a lot.
And uh, it was a few others we had that
the stripper called up a couple of weeks ago. Guess
Gon back in late April. That used to call up
from Houston and I back on the weekend overnights, and
I would pick NFL games against a stripper. It was
Benny versus the stripper and uh, and and she she
called up randomly, no longer a stripper though she's a doctor,

(26:38):
the nurse. Yeah, exactly. I'm always I think amongst those
like Mount Rushmore, I'd have to go Tammy, Queen, Roxanne
Nerd Christina Like those three jump out to me the most.
It's interesting that you would pick them. Why. I'm just
curious the voice. So you know something that you overlooked? Fine,

(26:59):
little sex, but it's all good. Wow. I like Mark
the full name guy in Blind Scott, though marked a
full name. The blind Scott's also goods. He's how about
Wayne from Southey. No, yeah, he's good too. Wayne's one
of my found I found him when I was doing
the EI stuff. I also liked. I got a lot
of good guys in Boston. The guy what's the guy's name,

(27:22):
the the guy that hates Belichick he cannot stand. Uh yeah,
I forgot give him a nick name. I for good ways.
But that guy calls up and just rips the hell
out of Belichick. It's hilarious and he's like he's like,
that's his thick Boston accident and he's just killing belly.
He thinks Brady is the reason. The pat that reminds me,
who's the guy that calls in like the deep voiceover guy?

(27:44):
Which one. There's a couple of people like that. I forget.
I mean, man, you have one that's that's like the
got the pipes of God, the voice of God that
calls him. He's pretty good to you. You got some
really good callers. There was a guy in San Diego
that used to call up that had that had that
thing the voice, and maybe was around the time that
person in Columbus, Ohio got found and became an internet sensation,

(28:06):
did like a macaroni and cheese commercial or something like that,
and then they found out like he had some arrests
and then he fell out of favor or whatever. Like
we had a guy called up that had that good
a voice and used to be one of our callers
from San Diego. Uh. John the jailer rights in from Allantown,
pennsylvani He says, matescar, if SpaceX asked you to go
on the next rocket ship, would you looks like they

(28:30):
had two open seats. All right, So let's say ring Ring,
It's Elon Musk from SpaceX. He says, Hey, would you
like to go up to outer space? Would you be
willing to do it? Man, I'd have to look at
the risk benefit of it, like ris because you die.
The benefit is you are one of a very small

(28:51):
percentage of human beings that have ever been to outer space.
And what if you get up there and you figure
out that it's actually the planet's actually flat at or
it's hollow and you can tell from outers. Wouldn't that
be amazing? It would be, But like going up with
the potential of having that that rocket explode, or being
stuck up there, or a thousand other things that can

(29:12):
go wrong, Like I need something huge in return when
I come back from the The huge thing is the
opportunity to be in outer space, to to go and
see the Cosmos. Plus aren't There's there's things that are
not talked about by astronauts that they see when they're
in space. Like there's random things flying around that don't

(29:32):
get talked about, right that. Wouldn't you like to see
what those things are? Like? What if? What if there
are like you know, aliens and all that. What if?
Like a couple of weeks ago by I want to
see my dad. Don't tell anybody during the corona, but
I want to see my dad. And then he he
had this thing on his phone where they sent him
a message when the International Space Station. Have you seen this? No?

(29:53):
It's pretty cool. So the International Space Station when it
flies over where you live and it does it, you
know a couple of times a WEE crew whatever, they'll
send you an alert. You can go out of your
house and you can see it fly over. It's pretty awesome.
It's awesome. It is really cool, and so I was
thinking about that and all the satellites that are up there,
so we have GPS and the phone communication and you

(30:15):
could see that stuff. If you're an outer space that
would be pretty neaty. But it's pretty awesome. So that
means you would go, yeah, I mean I have to
get the family approval, of course, because I'm married man now,
but you're you don't have that guest and you're a
single guy. You can go out and do that. But yeah,
if I got signed off on that, sure, Yeah, that's
interesting because you don't like to travel anywhere you leg

(30:35):
room and everything. So yeah, but I'm like anybody else,
I'll sit out if I go out to the country
and get away from the city lights and look out
at the stars and just imagine what the funk is
out there and how far it goes and what it's like,
and all of those thoughts from you go from bright
side Benny, too sentimental Benny, like this is amazing. I

(30:55):
don't even know you Sometimes shut up west Side You
from Oregon rights In says, how come the Big Mac
does not have tomatoes. And he also says, don't fear
the COVID nineteen if you smoke cigarettes. That's from Wesley.
That seems like Doc Mike kind of advice there, all right,
So hold on. So since we're on Burger talk, like

(31:17):
all the burgers you eat, you don't eat with tomatoes anyway,
I do not. I like catchup, but not the tomato. Yeah,
but when you get a double double from In and Out,
do you get tomato double cheese? I get grilled onions
on the double double. I do get it with the
cheese there. I do get a little less. I don't
mind a little bit of let us on there, but
I do not get to tomato. I say, no tomato.
Hold the tomato, old the tomato. Interesting. Interesting. Fox Sports

(31:41):
Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation.
Catch all of our shows at Fox Sports Radio dot
com and within the I Heart Radio app search f
s R to listen live. Trash Man Mike writes in
from Vermont. He says, so have your do you have
your trash picked up? Or do you ing it to
the dump yourself? This will tell people exactly who you are.

(32:04):
Trash on from trash Man. Uh, Mike, you know, of
course there's a person that comes and picks up the trash.
My trash day is when is my trash day? Friday
is when trash day? When is your trasha Oh it is? Yeah,
it's different though it depends on what the neighborhood you
live in. My dad's trash day is on Monday. I
have some friends whose trash days on Wednesday, which is

(32:28):
the I think my dad has the best trash day
because Monday, to me, seems like the perfect trash day
because you have if you have parties on the weekends
back when we were allowed to socialize with other human beings,
and you have parties and you pick up a lot
of trash over the weekend. I feel like Monday is
the perfect day. Friday's okay, because you pick up trash
during the week, like the worst what would the worst

(32:50):
one be? I think Wednesday would probably the worst middle
of the week. Yeah, because you're still you know, you're
halfway through the and if you have a family and
and all that stuff, like you're always collect picking up,
throwing away, collecting, picking up thrown away, like let's NonStop. Yeah,
Kentucky j Wright Sin says, I grew up in San
Pedro right there, right near you, guess, and now obviously

(33:13):
reside in Kentucky, and I missed the l a weather.
So would you rather live where it's either raining more
often than not or being a place where the humidity
is rather oppressive? All right, So I'll go first here. Now, Hey,
I've only spent a little time in the dirty South

(33:34):
below the Mason Dixon line, where the humidity is just ridiculous.
It's not the humidity is the stupidity of the weather
and all that. But I hated it. And I was
a big guy at the time. I I sweated a lot.
I still sweat a lot. I'm not as big, but
I still sweat a lot. I would be much more
inclined to go to a place like Seattle where it

(33:55):
rains a lot. I think Seattle is beautiful. Number two.
I think Seattle's wonderful. And it really depends on how
much you have to go out and driving it, now,
because that becomes problematic. If you've gotta drive around a lot,
then it becomes you. But I would if if these
are my only choices, I would take the rain. I'm
gonna go the other way. I would live. I would

(34:15):
rather live in Florida than live in the state of Washington.
And not nothing against Jay Scoop and all the folks
up there, but like I'm I'm all about sunshine, energy,
the life, the brightness, like I just I need it.
And so now the one caveat is, you know, if
if you had something like that, it's a little bit

(34:37):
different than like let's say, like a Boston or New
York or like Colorado whatnot, because you get the seasons.
But yeah, the humidity you can get away from at
least with air conditioning and whatnot. But when it's training,
I mean, you're stuck in that. You get it way, No,
you sit, you just sit inside. You sit, just like
if it's humid, you sit inside with the air conditioner.

(34:57):
It's the same thing. You can't walk out with a
bubb all of air conditioning. You're not. You're not out
there walking around with air conditioning on you when you're
But when it's humid, though, you can at least wear
some shorts, you can wear sandals, you wear a T shirt,
takes seven showers a day, it's wonderful. But then you
can go to the beach if you need to do that,
and you can dose off with a cold beer. You
can be outside of Gillow shade like there's waste to

(35:18):
mask that, or if it's raining, you're stuck. Derek and
Derek in Virginia Rights and he says, have you ever
thought of making an app with some of the more
popular drops from the show? I think all the p
Ones would definitely buy it. It's not the first time
this has been mentioned, Derek. There's a couple of issues

(35:38):
with that. Um. Number One, you'd have to put some
infrastructure into it, and it would cost some money. So
then do you charge for it? I figure you've got
to make something like that free. And then there's also
our corporate overlords that we have to get approval from.
So there's It's not that it couldn't happen. It could happen. Uh,

(36:00):
But what drops what we put on? I think if
we just had Genie and Medford drops, which were Unfortunately,
Roberto's relatively new to the show and he didn't know
Genie's work as a caller, so he doesn't really know
all those great drops, so he doesn't play them. Um.
But there was so many of those Genie and Medford
lines that she had back in the day that we
could definitely throw in. This is not a terrible idea,

(36:20):
Dolphin Mike, But danswers Derek, at this time, it's not
We're not efforting that at this time. Uh unless guestcon
you want to do that. Guest, you want to put
an app together? You know how to put an app together.
I think if I did do something like that, I
would have to get compensated for it. So you charge
for the app? Yeah, I think it just makes sense
because you you have all that stuff like that's your

(36:42):
couldn't you consider that work product intellectual property? Call it
because yeah, yeah, yeah, certainly the drops and things that
the dumb things we've all said. Yeah, Dolphin Mike in Waterford,
Pennsylvania says, if they open up a nine day work
we get Fox. And your choice as of conversation is

(37:03):
either number one, a lifetime supply nothing, Number two, a
trip to nowhere, Number three some pocket lint, or number
four a bag of Tom Brady's deflated balls. Which one
would you take? Well, I have are I don't know
if you know this, but the company has gifted me
several trips round trip trips to nowhere, so I have
picked up a lot of trips to nowhere. And I've

(37:25):
also been given a number of lifetimes supplies to nothing,
so I've already gotten those things. I gotta tell you
that pocket lint sounds kind of attractive. I would take
the pocket lint. Think. I'm glad you're still listening Dolphin
Mike the number one dolphin apologist, and just think about
this dolphin. Like the last time the Dolphins were relevant,
Dan Marino was still playing, right, Dan Marino is still

(37:46):
playing and all that back in the back in the day.
So with two of the Dolphins have a chance for
the first time, that's a weezl word to be relevant.
Since you've been calling the show, and since you've been
contributing to the show, how about that? All right? What
else do we have? Do a couple more of these
and then we've got to put the pedal to the metal.

(38:06):
Chris in Edmonton, Alberta, Right, since says, with Trevor Lawrence
being chosen to be the number one draft pick next season,
do you think it was too late for him to develop?
I'm not sure where you're going with this, Chris, Lawrence
did not play as well last year as he did

(38:28):
the year before. Although he didn't lose until the end
there for Clemson. But yeah, there's no guarantee Trevor Lawrence
is going to be a dominating player in the NFL.
Remember to a tugger By Loa a couple of years back,
was thought of as the prodigy and then he got

(38:48):
hurt and then that changed. And if there is a
college football season, Trevor Lawrence has a bull's eye on
his back. That being said, though, you've got to think
that the same usual suspect because we're gonna be tanking
to try to get Trevor Lawrence if there is a
full NFL season. The two advantages he has over to uh,
He's he's got great size, and he's also got the

(39:11):
durability like he's never been he's never been injured. So
even the slow start in twenty nineteen, he caught fired
midway through, and as you mentioned, he's lost one game
in his collegiate career. So so who is going to
try Let's try to figure this out. Who's going to
try to tank? Who's most like that? People say the Patriots.
I do not believe the Patriots are going into the
season to try to lose games. That's not how Belichick

(39:33):
operates Chargers. The Chargers just drafted Herbert though I don't
worrigin I know, but like he's that one guy that
people think is is like the I want to say,
like Aaron Murray, but he's like he can go either way.
I'm gonna throw a team out. How about the Atlanta Falcons? Man,
But the Falcons they got Matt Ryan. Matt's getting up

(39:55):
there in age a little bit there in the South.
You know, that's you know, it's not South Carolina versus
Georgia and all. I get that, but still it's in
the region. What about Cleveland done with Baker? You've done
with the Baker? I mean you never. I mean for
as hot as he taught and played to open up
and last year season he regressed. What what happens if

(40:15):
he has another year of regression or just doesn't he's
not good? Yeah, well that would be like adjusting on
the fly, right if they're if they're terrible after five games,
they say, Okay, we got a chance to get Trevor Lawrence.
We're owing five. Let's Jerry rigged this thing and try
to I'm trying who else though, Jackson Jackson Mills got
Gardner minshew if they Pittsburgh, if Pittsburgh just flails out

(40:38):
with he'd have to be a two win team to
get the number one pick. Though, they're gonna become a
two win team showing up. They're gonna win a couple
of games more than that. Yeah, that's true. I got Atlanta.
That's the only team. Maybe the Lions. I could see
the Lions. They got Stafford, but he's in the last year.
They got an out in his contract, and they're always
looking for the Great Hope, the savior of the Lions.

(41:00):
Uh So I throw that one out there, and always
the Bears. But again the Bears are you figure the
Bears are gonna be average, so they're not gonna be
bad enough to get to the level where they have
to get anyway. Uh, let's see, should we do another one? Uh?
Robert and Reading says, is it's still true that the
ground cannot cause a fumble? And if so, was whether

(41:24):
or not a football move was made prior to the ground.
He's yeah, but I don't. Yeah, I know it's dumb.
I understand it's stupid. But those are the the worst
thing about watching the football and the NFL is when
somebody would fumble out of the end zone and then
that would be a touchback. Oh god, did they change that?
I thought they were going to change that. They're talking
about that, so they see technically, speaking of the ground

(41:47):
can cause a fumble if you haven't been touched, If
you haven't been touched the ground can cause a fumble.
Look at that. And let's take bets. How many review
is are we gonna get for this podcast now because
from mentioning it this weekend and saying that the ratings
are important on the Fifth Hour podcast page which is

(42:10):
on Apple, how many more reviews over? Under? Seven? Over? Understand?
I'm gonna take the under. Yeah, I don't really have
a lot of confidence this time in your in your listeners,
see I'll go under. Yeah. So we both agree that
will be less than seven new reviews on the back.

(42:30):
And now I hope I'm wrong. I hope we come
back and there's ten fifteen That would be awesome. Yeah.
So it's it's it's up to you anyway, have a
great rest of your weekend, and don't forget to tune in.
We will regale you on the radio show, which will
be tonight. It's being Sunday, and well, I say tonight

(42:51):
because it depends on what times on It starts at
eleven pm in the West, but if you're on the
East coast it's two am on Monday. But belief is
always the day begins when you the day ends when
you go to sleep, and begins when you wake up.
So for me, my days are different than most normal people.
And if you're one of the live radio listeners, you're
like me where you don't follow the same clock that

(43:16):
everyone else follows. But speaking of following, check us out.
We are available all over social media. Say hello, send
us messages if you want ideas, do you want something
to do a whole segment on the podcast. We're open
to that. We're absolutely that's what the podcast is for
to to put everything in there will have If you
want to recommend a guest, someone you want to hear,
you can do that as well. And check us out

(43:38):
there now on Twitter at Ben Maller, Instagram, Ben Maller
on Fox Facebook Ben Mallor Show. And don't forget the
cameo option. Want personalized video message. It is not free,
but I'd love to do it. And you can recommend
some outrageous things and I'd probably be open to doing it.
Probably open to doing it. And what about you and
and do that or by the way, do that before
the price goes up, because I will if we get

(44:00):
enough of those, I will bump up to the Clay
Travis Rob Parker level because right now I'm giving you
a deal. You know you could do two is you
can actually go like full PSL style where you can
do something on the cheap at certain times the day,
but later on in the day it costs more. Oh
I could, Yeah, I could. It's right, I could change
it up because we should get like a lot of

(44:21):
downloads at six seven, eight o'clock in the morning Pacific.
I'm glad you brought that up, because I that is true,
we get a lot of downloads in the morning. But
I'm like, I feel like I should tweet this stuff
out later in the day because most of my social
media people are sleeping in the morning, So I feel
like it's waste this. I feel like I should maybe
I should set a second tweet out and a reminder

(44:41):
because I feel like most of my people are on
at night, like the hacksaw Thing. I tweeted out a
late night version of that to listen and I think
that helped bump up the numbers a little bit, bumpity
bump on that. I could agree with you on that.
I don't want to burden you with with doing that,
but yeah, I can help out with that. It's fun burden.
I mean, it's just I've got stuff going on, guest

(45:03):
for a busy person on the weekend. I don't want
to try to live my life on the way. I
don't live much of my life during the week I
try to live my life on the weekend. That's what
I'm saying. I don't want to embarge you with all
these requests. I mean, I have a hard time getting
a return call from me, and so it's wow, fine, yeah,
do you want to would you would you like to
uh give out your social media guests or just smuck

(45:26):
dot com? Is that Twitter account is at and Tavid
Jake Gascon and then Instagram is at Dave Gascon And
we're still waiting patiently for you to cook that meat. Now,
I will cook that meat. I will get that done,
guest goun don't worry. So I'm miless. I'm waiting for
the weather to warm up a little bit so it
gets toasty warm on the weekend so I can enjoy that,
have a great rest of your day, and thanks for

(45:48):
supporting the show and the podcast, and we'll catch you
next time.
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Host

Ben Maller

Ben Maller

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