July 4, 2020 • 53 mins
Stuck indoors does not mean you have a shortage of entertainment these days. Ben and his reckless wingman make sure that you get an extra serving on this episode when David catches Ben off balance with some peculiar headlines in the news today. Collecting himself, Ben transitions to new studies and trends with the coronavirus staring down the 4th of July holiday.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now, green light go, and
we are down the shoots and underway on this edition
of The Fifth Hour, a very patriotic edition The Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller and joined yet again by David Gascon.
Working on the fourth of July. We are here on
(00:44):
a national holiday, which I guess was technically on Friday
for a lot of people got Friday off. But we
we do the show eight days a week. At the
radio show five days, this show three days. And we
thank you for subscribing and downloading and reviewing. Right I've
started through thick and thin, through holidays, furloughs, layoffs. We're pandemics.
(01:06):
We're kind of just simply surviving or amongst the walking dead.
Right now it feels like, yes, just keep talking, keep
the VU meter moving, and that's our main job. Doesn't
matter what we say much because, as we've talked about
many times, about seventy of what's said in audio broadcasting
is completely forgotten because you're doing something else and you're
not paying that close attention. And then every time I
(01:28):
say that, though, guesscon the of people are not even
twenty five is less than that. But the people that
really pay attention and take copious notes of everything I
say and comb over my words, those people say, well,
I heard everything you said. I'm not like I listen
to everything you say, and I am I. Okay, you're
the exception to the rule. That doesn't make the rule.
(01:49):
You're the exception to the rule. Now doesn't that go
I mean to add to your point, doesn't it go
with the Was it like the seven thirty eight and
fifty five rule where only seven percent of your mess
tod just heard and then I think it's thirty eight percent?
Is tone and is body language that nature? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I've seen I've seen that before. Yeah, absolutely, I think
(02:11):
that's that's a law. A big part of it. Now
you're hearing, just listening and hearing the ability to hear.
Y Uh, you're right, it's it's about seven percent of
what you say. The other nineteent is through like facial
expressions and the way the tone. You can have like
the late night D voice, or you can have the
(02:32):
very serious which sounds kind of like the late night
DJ voice. Very serious, talk slowly. It's very important, you know, whisper. Yeah,
the voice is a musical instrument. It is. I used
to get ripped when I first started in radio because
your voice was terrible. Then well that and they said
I was trying to be an FM. They did say
(02:53):
I was trying to be a DJ, like I was
trying to be like Kiss FM or K rock or
something like these. Yeah, eas sleas absolutely that was good.
But now you've evolved, it has matured, and I think
it's led to when you've lost weight. It kind of
coincides with the I don't know, I heard from all
these You're gonna feel so much better when you lost weight.
(03:13):
I didn't feel bad when I was fat, Well, no,
I didn't, I know, but you you sound better. It's
not like you. It's not like you've you know, stuck
yourself in the house, in the room and then smoked
a carton of cigarettes like the old Tom Looney did.
Oh yeah, I d When I first got in the radio,
I was shocked because, you know, my parents were like,
don't smoke cigarettes, you know, because their parents smoked cigarettes
(03:34):
and they all got cancer and all this stuff, so
they don't smoke. Don't smoke, you know. So I and
so I was always like that was brainwashed into me
not to smoke cigarettes. And then I go to the
radio station. Everyone's out in the in the break room
smoking because they're trying to get their voices to sound
more masculine. And I was like, wow, that's good for you,
grateful that your voice is not like that. How do
(03:55):
you feel over the last couple of weeks. I know
you've had some roller coaster events. You've been almost like
a human pinata, especially with your crew chopping you at
the knees. Have you recovered? Yeah? If I usually only
last like a day. I'm in a really surly mood.
I'm in a bad mood. I can tell I want
to I want to punch somebody. I'm I'm questioning my
(04:16):
life choices. Uh, And then you know, calms down and
I'm okay, and then the next fire starts up, and
then we start the whole thing over again, and you
just have to accept that. And you know, I just
have to presume that this is gonna be the way
it's gonna be for for a while here, whatever you do,
don't bend the knee. No, no, I don't. I don't
(04:39):
do that. I'm a big believer or not apologizing to
the mob, because then then you end up, well you're
get in trouble for that, getting more trumble. So yeah,
but you can use ballot to the congregation because, as
you mentioned, the listenership continues to be record highs. We
go from John Sterling last week. We'll see how Leo
(04:59):
to does yesterday. But John Sterling, the voice of the Yankees.
We should get more like baseball play by play guys.
I love talking a baseball play by play games. Well,
if that's the case, we go from from John Sterling,
we need you to get on the horn and get
Vince Scully in here. Then that's the voice of God.
(05:20):
I know, that's it's you know, I can't. I do
have access to me, I know, I know, but that's
I don't know, it's forbidden fruit. I'd love to do it.
I mean, I've talked to him many times over the years,
and it's been always a great honor because I respected
the obviously respective grew up a Dodger fan, and Vince
(05:40):
Scully is a god. But yeah, I don't know he's
Vince spends well, I don't know now because of the apocalypse,
but he did spend a lot of time just with
his grandkids, you know, get up, read the newspaper, have
a cup of coffee like most people do, and then um.
And I know he'll still answer the phone, you know,
occasionally during the day or whatever. But it would be
(06:01):
fun to have him on though. That would be great. Yeah,
I'd be a big one. I always That's the one regret,
especially since you know, when you go into the press
box at Dodger Stadium, it's kind of an open space
and you always see the broadcast. Is that pop in
and out of the cafeteria. I never had that chance
just to say hi. Obviously had a respect. You didn't
(06:21):
want to bother him because preparation. I got a great
story about that. So my my brother lives in New York,
my older brother, and you know, it comes to l
A a a lot to visit family, back before the pandemic,
and one year, many years ago, he came out my
nieces who are now one of them graduated high school.
(06:44):
They were little girls, right, and and so my brother's
father in law, uh wanted to take them to a
Dodging game and they I happen to be working at
the game as a reporter at the time, and uh,
and so I wanted to, you know, show off his
uncle Ben his little girls, who probably don't even remember this,
(07:04):
but I was like, all right, I'm gonna take them
through the press box and I am gonna, you know,
show them my world. Thinking these little girls who couldn't
give a flying you know what about this because they're
little kids. But I was gonna show them. And so
but the one who was really impressed was was my
brother's father in law. But anyway, so I'm walking through
the press box. It happened to be during the seventh inning,
top of the seventh inning, and the top of the
(07:27):
seventh inning ended, and Vince Gully did what he had
always done. Um he in the seventh inning stretch. He
would get up from his broadcast position and he would
stretch his legs and walk. He would literally honor the
seventh inning stretch by getting up and walking back and
forth across the press box and singing the seventh inning
(07:48):
stretch song and waving at those of us in the
press box. What just happened that I was walking by
the Dodger TV booth at the time, then was walking
out to do his round in the press box, and
he he met my nieces and not my father in law,
but my brother's father in law, and it was it
was very nice and very cool, and it was a
(08:09):
fun not planned. I did not plan that gusty on.
It just kind of worked out that way. In fact,
I wanted them to come and hang out with me
earlier in the game, but they waited till the seventh
inning before they were leaving on their way out. So
did they at least capture a few Dodger dogs that
the cafeteria. Yes, I might have used my allotment of
(08:30):
Dodging dogs to pass those on to to my relatives there. Possibly, Yeah,
be cool for people that don't know. Typically it correct
me if I'm wrong, But usually in the beginning of
the seventh inning, the cafeteria will open it up, so
it's like a frenzy for hot dogs and nachos and
and frozen frozen yogurt. Yeah. I think they actually moved
(08:50):
it up to like the fifth inning. But it's like
the fifth inning. Yeah, you get the hot dogs, Dodging dogs,
you get the popcorn, the notches. All that's gone, all
that's gone by the way in the pandemic. I just
got an email. I mentioned this on the radio show
the other day. The Dodgers sent out all these guidelines.
No food, you gotta bring your own food, you gotta
eat at your own position. You're not allowed to mingle
(09:11):
with other people in the media, you know, like it's
one of is like going to the game if you're
a reporter. I don't know how these beat guys are
gonna do it. And I mean part of being a
beat writer is getting in the weeds and getting down
and doing the dirty work in the locker room and interviews.
But a lot of it. Also I've noticed when I
was on the beat as a radio guy back in
(09:33):
the day, is I learned so much crap from other
media people just convincing and and uh and small talking
and schmoozing and and that. I guess that they can
still do it, they just have to do it on
the phone, but it doesn't seem as effective to me.
Is that that FaceTime that head to head, you know,
belly to belly type situation. I'm fascinate about it, especially
(09:56):
because you and I talked about the soft the year.
But earlier in the Seek on Vice, they had a
report that absolutely eviscerated the l A times with credibility
with reporting, with stories and sources and things like that,
and like you mentioned, like you when you get stories
from these players, usually it's in the dug out, it's
(10:17):
in the clubhouse, it's on the fields during p PP
or if you're on the courts during shoot around whatever.
All that stuff is gone. So how do you get
that information that doesn't sound like it's just something you
get from the ap well, and not to let you
understand how they make the hot dogs, but my experience,
a lot of the insider stuff actually came from people
(10:38):
that worked behind the scenes, people that worked in auxiliary
roles supporting players, whether it be in the locker room
or the medical staff or you know, whatever wing of
the team. Those are the people that would often let
you know and give you the inside skinny because people
love to gossip. I mean, that's one thing about the
(11:01):
human condition, whether it's sports, politics, human If you look
at human nature. Humans are gossip. Uh. They use gossip
to cement many of you, to to cement a friendship. Right.
It's it's an odd I think, but anyway, so that's
we went down that rabbit hole. But there you go.
So we we've got pop quiz, We've got a few
(11:23):
don't stick to sports stories and we'll do more of
those tomorrow. We've got a little study. This also some
random weird crap that I found surfing the web that
I thought was interesting. So why don't we start with
the couple that don't stick to sports stories? Here is
anything popping up, And you know what, I wanted to
make an audible on this show if you allow me.
All right, I don't know if this is a Tony
(11:43):
Dungee Peyton Manning tap of ordeal, but I'll try to enact.
At Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup
in the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox
sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio
app search f s R to listen live. Since I'm
a big fan of the of the handle um the
(12:04):
Babylon be, I figured, not only are you a big fan,
you are I don't even have to look at the
Babylon B. Because Guess will send me anything even mildly good.
He will send me. It's like you're on the payroll
over there. It's I feel like you're on the payroll
over there. We have direct competition with the Onion, and
(12:25):
that's why I like it. The Onion is really good.
Babylon B is equally as good. So what I wanted
to do Ben with you since you've done it with
me on study this or pop Quiz, because I want
to have a new segment that would be the B
or not the Bay is the question. This is like
Factor fiction. This is like a cheap rip off version
(12:46):
of Factor Fiction, the game I've been playing for twenty
years on the radio. Yes, so what do I let's
playing the game? All right, here we go. I like, So,
what I want to do is I want to provide
you with the title of the of the report, and
I want you to tell me if it is if
it is actual, if it's actually legit, or if it's
part of the Babylon be okay, all right, So I'm
excited I get to play a game, and I'm excited
about this. All right. Now, I'm gonna give you five
(13:08):
titles that did not make the cut. First, okay, and
these are all from the Babylon be uh. Stacy Abrams
says she'll step down as governor if asked to run
for VP. That it made the cut. Uh. Nike releases
Bernie Sanders signature shoes that help you survive under Socialism.
That it made the cut. Hillary Clinton proposes reparations to
(13:30):
anyone who ever lost a presidential election to Donald Trump
with statues gone pigeons forced to poop on rioters. That's funny.
And last, but not least, conservative man checks Ben Shapiro's
page to find out what he should be outraged by today.
That's about that. You gotta you gotta find out what
(13:53):
to about. You can't just have a conniption fit unless
somebody tells you to have an That's right. So we
go from that to the B or not the B band?
How about this white congressman pulls endorsement of black female
district attorney for being too hard on crime? Alright, so
is that the B or not to be? Uh? Let's
(14:16):
see here, let's think about this logically in the times
we're in now, you know, I'm gonna say that's that's true.
That is actually factually true. It's yeah, I got it right.
What do I w You've hat a prize full of nothing,
a box full? You didn't think I was gonna get
(14:36):
it right, did you know? Well today's climate that is,
but that is a key to Uh you see some
white ANTIFA guy attack a block police officer. Yes, well
here's it's it's the same things. It's just mind bockling
or you know, just when they see these videos of
these random you know, woke Uh, you know, white people
attacking black people. Who are you know? But they're they're
(14:57):
I don't know. I don't I don't understand that. I
is beyond me. I can't figure it out. But there
you go. So let me give you the cherry on top. Ben.
It's actually happening right here in Los Angeles District Attorney
Jackie Lacy is under fire. She's up for re election
this year, but it all depends because CE Congressman Adam
Schiff has pulled his endorsement for her, saying in a tweet,
(15:21):
this is a rare time in our nation's history. We
have a responsibility to make profound changes to end systemic racism.
And where's Leo Torrell? We need our friendly, right, and
he adds, we need to reform criminal justice now, Ben
hear me out on this. Jackie Lacey, Um, here's her resume.
She's a black woman. She graduated from UC Irvin. She
(15:44):
earned her j d at USC and then oh, by
the way, she's the first black woman ever to serve
as a d A in Los Angeles since the role
was created back in eighteen fifty. And then on top
of that, she's actually sixty three years of age, so
it's not like she's thirty year old looking to hammer down,
uh crime to make her you know, make a name
for herself and her career. Yeah, well, it's crazy. Everything's
(16:08):
topsy turvy, Eving's upside down and uh yeah, although it is,
it's very odd when some of these these politicians so
liberated to attack anyone, anybody who's like even slightly outside
of their their dogma. It's like, it's crazy. Yes, next
one for the b or not the b um? How
about this government announces lockdown of all fast food restaurants
(16:31):
to prevent heart diseases. Alright, so yeah, this has got
to be the b I mean that that's that's funny,
that's good, But no, that's that's obviously that is that
is correct? How about this one? Two for two? By
the way, I'm dominating this game. I'm the greatest b
or not to be contested in the history of the game.
(16:53):
It is breathtaking what I am doing right now. I
hope you are appreciating how equipped I am for this
particular game. Yeah, batting a thousand and a truncated season,
how much to stop right now? Because I don't I
can only go down from here. Well that's not true,
because even if you go to for five, it's still
a hell of a batting average. That's a good point.
How about this. One of our states, in our great Republic, Tuscaloosa, Alabama,
(17:14):
has students throwing COVID parties. Is that the B or
not the B? Alright, so full disclosure. I actually I
saw this and I think I saw it on like
the real news, So I have it. I'm gonna I'm
gonna go that this is actually, uh, this is legit.
You are three for three, So bet students in Tuscaloosa, Alabama,
(17:37):
ben are throwing coronavirus parties and what that? Basically, maybe
you're supposed to cough a lot on each other or something.
Like that is apparently, so all these kids are throwing
these parties, and what happens is when you attend, you
throw money into a pot and the first student that
gets the coronavirus wins the pot. Well, how do you
know you have it if you're asymptomatic? Though, that's a
(17:59):
good question I get. Is the only thing you can
do is you can get a antibody's test. Yeah, well
I guess you can do that. But this reminds me
when I was younger. I remember like some kind of
hippie parents would have chicken pox party to get their
kids chicken pox, which seems rather strange to me. But uh,
(18:23):
you know, you gotta love college, man, you gotta love college. Right,
I'm gonna go for it, man, I'll get the corona.
I'll be the man that's like everyone's like Blake snell Of,
I got the corona, you know, just a bunch of
innocent lambs. Just God love him. These are the same.
These are the same people. When they, you know, get
(18:43):
to our you know, mar age, you're a little older,
they're like, oh no, you gotta protect everything, you know. Yeah,
this is the land of tide pods and drinking clorox
to uh to cleaning your body would be the word
exactly the bee or not the bee? How about this one?
Nitty gritty? That term is now being banned on air,
so you can't You're not allowed I use that term everyone,
(19:06):
So you can't say nitty gritty. No, you cannot. So
is this be or not to be? Uh? Well, considering
it's we're in cancel culture time right now, Um, I
I will say that this is that seems I'm sure
there's something I don't know about that, so I'll go yes,
I'm want to say that that is part of cancel culture.
(19:29):
You are for for the game. So we go off
to the greatest start in any player in baseball history
right now, So we go, we go over the pond.
Sky Sports they're actually adding nitty gritty to the band
list due to its links supposedly to slavery. So broadcasters
(19:49):
now are ordered to avoid such language such as nitty gritty,
which may offend viewers. Now, what the network is doing
is they also run through a list prior to going
on air, and they also email the talent on appropriate
words and certain words that they need to stay away from.
Nitty Gritty is on the bad list. Yes. Now, for
all those out there that don't want to look it
(20:11):
up in the Oxford English Dictionary, nitty gritty means fundamentals, realities,
or basic facts of a situation or a subject. Last racist,
you can't have facts, please facts. Yeah, that's that's a
dog whistle. That's a bad job by you. Guess guy.
Now I'm gonna say the last last one for for
(20:32):
the best. I guess to see if you can go
five for five. But this one is a challenging one,
especially one what had happened to the last twenty four
hours the bigger not to be final one, Ben Miller. Alright,
ex this is to go five for five, which would
be one of the great accomplishments in the history of broadcasting.
Maiden Voyage of the b or Not the b Um
Hollywood actors pledged never to take a role where they
(20:56):
have to pretend to be someone else. Well listen, uh,
you whittle down Hollywood and everyone is trying to be
woke mcwoke in Hollywood. So I I think this is
actually true. I think the Hollywood culture is so fucked
(21:18):
up that, you know, the whole concept of acting is
pretending to be other people. Who aren't you. So the
very bedrock of acting is to do that job where
you are playing make believe. But that's how let up
these people in Hollywood are. So I am gonna say
that is legit. I'm trying to go five for five,
guess g Davin Ben Mallory, But you're batty at crisp damnit.
(21:43):
See I put that one in there because a couple
of voiceover actors just two days ago had said that
they're gonna be quitting their quitting their vo jobs on
The Simpsons because they portray Uh, an Indian store clerk,
and a couple other voices that are on that show.
So yeah, there have been I know there's been some
people who said there was a woman that did like
(22:04):
the voice of a cartoon character who was a little
girl who's like black or something like that in the cartoon,
and she quit it right, And but it doesn't seem
to make a lot of sense to me that that minds.
Am I missing something here? Like Uh only allowed to
play Like if you're a forty year old woman, you
(22:27):
can only play a forty year old woman because otherwise
you gotta if you have a six year old, you
gotta get a six year old to play a six
year old, they've gotta be exactly the same. The genetics
have to be this. It doesn't seem like a very
reasonable um situation, and it really trims down the talent pole, right,
because how many voice over actors that you get their children,
or how many older people that you get that can
(22:49):
sound like a grandma or grandpa or someone that's refined?
You know, it's mad voyage you are. That's not about
at all. Man, take that feete Rose, Tony Gwyn. Oh
you guys sit there boom. Be sure to catch live
editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am
easternm Pacific. Alright, well, whyhy don't we get to pop quiz.
(23:12):
This is where I get to ask you a questions
and I love this. It's my favorite bit that we
do here, pop quiz. And here we go. These are
actual questions about pop culture, and we'll see how guess going.
Doesn't you gonna answer as well? The way the bit's
supposed to work. You gotta answer, And but I don't
know what you're answering because I can't hear you. It's
the magic of broadcasting, all right, So here we go,
They say, who were there? They say that children are
(23:32):
incapable of doing this until they reach the magic age
of four. What is it that kids are unable to
do no matter how smart they are or how dumb
they are, they can't do this until they reach the
age of four. Uh No, that is the that is incorrect.
The correct answer is lie. Mm. That's interesting. That is interesting?
(24:00):
Is that because if you're like three and you're learning,
you start talking, You're like you start anytime you you
make a mistake, you you don't know. You don't know
what a lie is. You don't know the concept of
a lie. Maybe that or that that's probably the appropriate
age that parents feel like they can discipline their kids
too well. I have a niece that just turned four.
(24:23):
Um on the on actually today, the fourth of July
is my niece's birthday. I guess I'm gonna tell her
mom my sister in law that she is now able
to lie. Congratulations. You get a lie card, you get
a driver's license, then you get a passport, you get
all these things that are certain, you know, moments in
a person's life that are a rite of passage. And
(24:46):
the age of four is the age not of reason
the age of line to go. Yeah, alright, a reason.
Survey found nearly two and five Americans would not only
change jobs, but would take a pay cut if they
could have have this at work. What is it? Um,
they can have this at work? I just correct, that's
(25:07):
the question. There's two things they could guess on this.
Would it be their pet or there? Would it be
their pet? Or that is that stop right there? That
is it their pet? Nice? Yeah, so Americans love their
pets so much they would be willing to take less
money to have their pet with him. Now, I've been
fortunate guest gone from the home studio of Fox Sports
(25:29):
Radio the remote Geico Fox Sports Radio studios, which are
in the Mallard Mansion, buried in the secret location deep
in the bowels of the Mallard Mansion, and Bella has
spent many a night while I've been broadcasting since March
from here, and she's been hanging out with me, and
as long as she doesn't bark, she's allowed to stay
in here. Every once in a while she'll start pawing
at my leg because she wants to go to take
(25:51):
a whizz or go to the get a drink or
something like that. So I gotta open up the door,
but she has to wait. Bella's gotta wait until a
break and not that we take, but it's for her
to break. So does she ever get tired coming into
your studio because there's a long walk. I don't know
if many people know this, but you have a three
story house, and so it's a three story I do
not have a three story house. I'm not west of
(26:12):
the flour oh five, I'm not. And I've never lied
about where I live like somebody I know who has
possibly tried to say they live in a more blue
collar part. That's not okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna call
bullshit on that. I was. I know that. When I
(26:33):
first started becoming a friend with you, and I asked,
I believe where you live, you gave me a certain city,
and then somehow an address came up with your name
attached to it a much different part of town, you know. Alright,
Moving on. More adults are doing this right now than
at any other time in the history of the United States.
(26:57):
What is it adults having more sex? Uh? No, they're
not stooping more. No, it's living with their parents or grandparents. Interesting,
there are more adults right now doing that now. Some
of it is to save money, some of it is
save a life, save a life, to help your parents out.
(27:20):
It's it's also a big part of it older parents, grandparents. Uh,
but that's important to man. If you're that's underrated. Man.
If you look out for your grandparents, that's tough work.
And you see them get old and their bodies fall apart,
that an't easy, not easy at all. Right. After spending
the last three months of the pandemic together, fifty eight
percent of couples say this, what is it? I want
(27:45):
a divorce? See that's what I thought would be the answer,
But it's actually they want to spend the rest of
their lives together. Ready, bliss enough, I believe that. No way,
but not here in California anyway. No. New survey says
one in three Americans by this from the girl those
free store at least once per week. But this surprised me. Bananas?
(28:05):
No what it's something that is refrigerated milk, no, believe
it or not. A frozen dinners good frozen pizzas. Man, Yeah,
I guess that counts. That has to count. Rights as
a frozen meal. Um. When I was a Bachelor. I
used to get those Hungry Man TV dinners. Yeah, and
(28:26):
I got very excited when they had that pound, you know,
a pound of food. You're not like, oh boy, this
is great. But did you go like pizza pockets or
pizza bites. How would you go with the with the
frozen pizza? Uh no, I would just make the I
would get the pie and I would uh well, I
like when de Jorna came around. What I remember the
days before de jor No, and uh yeah, I would
I get my toppings or whatever it was. You know,
(28:46):
that was that was an easy make. I had no
problem with that. I like making the pizza from scratch
from time to time. We've been doing that, which is
which is kind of cool. But the frozen dinners, I
liked them, but you never they never cook right because
I would put them in the microwave. You're supposed to
put them in the oven to make them really taste decent.
And it was always the corn was way too hot,
(29:07):
or that brownie, the little brownie and the little square.
Would it be too too hot compared to the other
stuff because I wouldas it that first, you know, or
things would stick that yeah, yeah, exactly or you get
like the fish sticks and they would the bottom part
would kind of stick to it, and you're like, oh crap.
You know. Anyway, the breading any moving on New York,
Chicago and lost wages. Nevada have seen a large increase
(29:31):
of this over the last month. What is uh no
fireworks noise? People complaining about fireworks. I've seen that a
lot here in l A at night. I don't know
a lot of conspiracies on why that is, but yeah,
I think a lot of those are bullshit. We're doing
(29:51):
pop quiz. A new study found that men dudes twice
as likely to do this as women, but by the
time time we reach our forties, which is close to
home Gisco, women are slightly more likely to do this
than a a man. So again, this is according to
the study, they found that the dudes are twice as
(30:12):
likely to do this than women, but by the time
everyone reaches forty, women are slightly more likely to do
this than than men. Exercise uh no, actually speed When
driving around, women drive slower, and then when they reach
a certain age, they're like, who gives a funk, I'm
(30:34):
gonna hit the hit the gas pedal. I can appreciate that. Yeah,
there you go. All right, let's see here, any men,
what's next? Alright? Three out of ten people say they
sometimes do this while playing Monopoly. What is it once
the last time you played Monopoly? I haven't played Monopoly
(30:54):
and forever. Yeah, three out of ten people. Yeah, I
will say, um, I'll say that they miscount the miscount. Yeah,
we'll go an extra look, an extra marketing. What is
it like boardwalk and park plays the two spots you
want to be on? Yeah? H no. The correct answer
(31:17):
is three out of ten people say that they quit
to avoid losing. They just give up. They raised the
white flag and say that's it. No, Moss, I'm out,
I'm done, see you later. Monopoly takes too long. It
does take a long time. But if you're winning, it
doesn't matter. It's kind of like my look at baseball.
(31:38):
If your team is great, it doesn't matter they play
a hundred and sixty games because they win most of
them and you love it and you're excited by it.
But if the team sucks, so oh, there's too many games.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven PM Pacific. All right,
it is said that we spend about fifty of our
lives doing this sitting in traffic. Yeah right, well that
(32:00):
lay that I would say, Um, I'll say fuck, um,
you'll say a fuck today. We don't spend on our
cell phones. Cell phone? Uh no, they say daydream. Oh yeah,
you're thinking about something. You're imagining some other scenario while
you're living your life. Now do you night dreams? Since
(32:21):
you don't go to sleep during the night, you are
sleeping in the daytime. So do you do night dream?
Do I night dream? Uh? No? Not really? Do you daydream?
I don't. The only time I dream is if I
take a Kirkland brand sleep age. Because I don't get
to it. I'm like, I'm sleeping, but I'm not in
(32:43):
the really deep rem sleep that you need to be
in the dream. It's rarely get into that. I'm not
a great sleeper. I blame my my, my parents, my
dad and both my dad and my mom. We're not
particularly great sleepers. So it doesn't help with your work schedule. Yeah, well,
that's also problem. I have noticed when I take time
off that doesn't happen very often. But I go to
(33:07):
beddle oiler and I sleep better like it's shocking. I
don't know why that is. I don't know if there's
a correlation between those two events. But anyway, regarding the
current pandemic, what in three people surveys said they are
they have noticed this? Uh what is it that they noticed? God,
(33:28):
it's pretty pretty vague. I just involves some creature in
the house. Um, they notice more spiders in the house.
Now they noticed that their pet has gotten fat. It's
a cat or a dog or whatever. I don't think
this applies to lizards. No, do you do you do
(33:50):
you clip Bella's coat? No, but Bella went to the groomer. Um,
and now about a third of the dog went to
a groomer. Yeah, that's very very white color. You well,
you would know about that. West of the four oh five.
And I was trying to find a gift for you,
and I was looking up, but I couldn't find it.
(34:10):
It would have been the greatest gift because Guestcon's birthdays
coming up. The Cougar, it's gonna be guests about the turn.
Giscon's about the turn fifty years older. You've already you've
already sent me a gift. Well, I understand. But I
was trying to find a specific book that was written
about the four oh five freeway, and I looked all
(34:30):
over the internet and I spent about, well, I'm not
gonna embell it. I spent about thirty minutes trying to
find a book because I thought this would be the
hilarious couldn't find a book. I was like, nobody's written
a book about just a four oh five freeway that
goes from Irvine to the San Fernando Valley, which Gascon
(34:50):
mistakenly thought went all the way up the west coast
because I was in Santa Barbara when I was on
furlough and guest guns like your west of the four H.
I was like, no, I'm not. The four h five
freeway ends way ends in the San Fernando Valley, way
before uh Santa Barbara. It turns into it when you
weren't for a load, you're on vacation, and I was
(35:13):
for a load and I had a fine time getting
I'm glad I got out because King Newsom closed everything.
Then I got in there before the king and the
parliament and all that. You got me in trouble, the monarchy,
and yes, uh of us are considering this as a
result of the coronavirus, a career change, not moving. Oh,
(35:36):
I know, I'm not. Are you thinking about moving? No? What? Well?
Where would I go anyway? Arizona, Scottsdale. I don't. I
don't know where you go to Vegas or something? No
funk that you go to Vegas. You could dominate Vegas
radio though, Yeah, but Vegas there's no radios. But what
are you gonna have? You have the Golden Nights, Yes,
you'll have the Raiders, but you got no Major League
(35:58):
Baseball and you've got no NBA. Got every casino you
could possibly want. You it's a great Vegas. The weather
is nice, nice and warm and toasty hot. No, it's hot.
It's hot. If I were to go anywhere that was
east of Los Angeles, it would be Scottsdale. Yeah. Again,
that's like west of the four oh five. It is,
it's in Scottsdale, but it's very bouge, showing how narcissist
(36:23):
you are. Listen, the men that listen to your show
are are very healthy, um, and they're very e centric.
There's tons of Iye candy in Scottsdale. So if you're
not coming to l a you can't afford it for vacations.
To guest you didn't get the memo from cancel culture.
We're not supposed to appreciate a good looking woman as men.
(36:45):
We can no longer. And that's the next step. Right,
do we start with the mask and we get to
the burk boy. I can't wait. I can't wait till
Dr Fauci announces we need a burk man. That that'll be.
That'll be good. Imagine, I'm gonna brand you can put
your your logo on the Burko though, right, So what
you're gonna put the Fifth Hour in front? You're gonna
put the Ben Mallar show right on the head, right
(37:07):
above the eyes, this little slit for the eyes there
right there. And then you're gonna put one like a
goalie mask. You gonna put it on your chin too, Yeah,
of course, all right, more pop quiz. You are more
likely to be stung by a bee if you're eating
this food item a strawberry. Dude, No, it's actually something
(37:28):
you mentioned earlier in the show. Guys pizza, No pizza.
Bees are attracted to pizza. Banana banana a banana. Jeez,
I don't know who the fox eating a banana outdoors anywhere.
The bees love a pepperoni pizza. That would be like,
I would like that. I would like to stay. You
know this dumb, dumb because he's eating a slice of pizza.
(37:48):
Do you ever see people outside eating a banana? I
see strawberries, they see oranges. I do. I have seen
in New York at Central Park I remember sitting out
there and they there was so there was a fruit
stand and then people in bananas. Well, Central Parkers turned
into an autonomous zones. So I don't know what you're
talking about. It is it? Yeah? Okay? Is it a
sovereign nation? Yes, the People's Republic. A new survey found
(38:11):
passwords are number number one thing that Americans forget most often.
What is number two? According to this new service, I
would say a pen for their a T M or
debit card. That is a good guest, But no, it's
things on your shopping list, Like you go to the
store and you try to remember what you need and
(38:33):
you forget something. I thought number five was what I
really am bad at on this and this was my
average Americans. They listed three thirty two forgetful moments a
year that happened, but the password was number one. Number
two was the shopping list. The one that stood out
to me was number five. A person's name after being introduced.
(38:53):
And I can't tell you how many times I've been
in a social setting and and you for you know,
you're intern, they say their name, and then for whatever reason,
you forget, and you're like ah, and it's that awkward thing,
you know, it's like ah. And and you know from
reading the book that I read years ago, the most
(39:15):
and the sweetest sound that someone can hear is their name. Right,
It's the sweetest sound you can possibly hear. And yeah,
it's that that old Dale Carnegie thing, right. The person's
name is to that person, the sweetest and most important
sound in any language. And then when somebody tells you
their name, and then like a minute later, you're like,
(39:36):
oh fuck. And so then you just say, hey dude,
hey guy, what's going on? Man? You know you go
down that road. Well, I just I mean, when I've
been out with you, and the misses is, I will
introduce you to the people I don't know on the regular.
So that way, you have to introduce yourself to them first,
and then I piggyback off of that well, it's just
(39:56):
the easiest way to do it. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
I don't know. I would bad habit of doing that.
I try to repeat their names now more on on
everyday occasion. So yeah, yeah. I Unfortunately, now because of
the apocalypse, being an introvert, I don't have to worry
about going on meeting people, so I have to worry
about any I love how you gave that great statue
of the night on radio about how you're more likely
(40:17):
to die while driving to work than you are of
the coronavirus. Yes, what the fuck are you? Don't drive anywhere?
That is correct. I drive once a week. I'm worried
about dying in a car atolutely But but no I
people have said, what are you coming back? Well, I
am following the I heart media. Go I am. I
am following a mandate. I'm a good soldier. I know
(40:37):
you're not guest. Go on, You're a rebel, you're an
anti art you know, anarch is kind of guy. But
I follow what my bosses tell me. And when my
bosses say go ahead, come back in, I'm there. I
am there with bells and whistles on the ever done that?
So I wonder how much gas. You've actually saved gas
money you've saved driving not driving. The workouts of the
(40:58):
one it was it was probably over five hundred miles
a week. Uh, probably a lot more than that actually
when you add on some of the other stuff. So yeah,
that's a tank of gas a week. Oh yeah, plus
the services. And that's right. So I'm coming out a
hit on this all right, now, this is something you
(41:18):
you should know the answer to guest Gon based on
your little secret you don't like to talk about much.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Sales
of women's wardrobe this particular women's wardrobe item have gone
up sixty since the lockdown. For those that don't know,
(41:40):
Gascon's nickname is Rue Paul gas nickname. Yeah, Um, I
can't say stockings right, No, it's not stock you could.
I mean, I like that. It's not really my answer,
but it's my answer. I liked it because it was right.
You would have taken credit, Yeah, bras no flats flats? Yeah,
(42:01):
what the hell? You? You know? The shoes that are
just flats, right, And that's what's because you don't have
women were high heels or whatever they were these like
style and shoes and go out and press people their
girlfriends or dudes. But they don't have to worry about
I would assume that's why. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
I don't know. Got up six all right? Last one
on popquins. We got a few study this. We're getting
(42:23):
along here because you're a little game show, Gasco. How
dare you? Alright? Pop quiz? Here we go. Ut of
American parents now catch themselves saying this phrase that their
parents used to say to them when they were little
kids back in my days. Back your margin. No, uh,
it's something involving eating. Oh, make sure to eat your
(42:46):
greens or your vegetables. That's what I thought. But no,
it's don't eat that. You'll spoil your dinner. Fuck, don't
eat that ice cream. You'll spoil your dinner. And listen,
I'm guilty of that. Going to steakhouses, I'll get as
much bread as possible. Or if you go to like
a Brazilian steakhouse, when you get to eat all the
sides first before the meat comes out. I don't know
(43:08):
I want to point out guests gun that as far
as your your birthday and you're the Big five, oh
and all that for you coming up here. And we
were planning me and the missus to take you to
a steakhouse because we know you have steakhouses, and I
would like to thank this is one thing King Newsome
got right. Because we can't take you to a steakhouse.
They're all closed. So I was like, okay, so I
(43:30):
guess we're screwed on this, and but we're actually again
coming out financially ahead because I know you would have
ordered the way you rolled west of the four or
five your pedigree, you would have ordered the most expensive
steak on the menu and a bottle of wine red
white both, I don't care seven appetizers. You would have
just gone for. It is what you would. How about
you barbecue that steak that I got you? It gives
(43:53):
you something to complain about, it does. It's like it's
like the Dodgers trying to win a World Series man
losers since at yes, and they'll they aren't built for
the shortened season, nine strikes season they won work stopping season, right?
Study this real or bullshit? Do a few of these
tributes to Penn and Taylor, Lockdown, Loneliness, coronavirus quarantine has
(44:17):
a quarter of adults feeling like they have no friends. Yeah,
I believe that. Yeah, there's some people that we work
with that actually have said that, Oh yeah, I don't
want to name names, but they feel isolated because because
there's no motion in what we're doing, right Like everything
that you do for your show, you're looking for sound bites,
(44:39):
you're looking for anything to pull from. But most of
the guys we work with, they're always in the flow
of things like pull on sound from you or for
anybody else with a game going on, or press conferences
or guys getting arrested or doing stupid ship. We get
none of that right now, and outside of that, they
have no other activities. So I believe it really is
interesting because like, the whole cool thing about working at
(45:00):
radio station is the people, you know, talking and schmoozing
with each other and doing that whole thing, and you
can't do that right now, even and there's a bare
bones staff that's there. I did have to go in
the other night, guess go on because the car, not
the car, the line, the broadcast line went down. So alright, lockdown.
We mentioned lockdown lonely. How about this. A quarter of
(45:23):
JIM goers do not expect that they'll ever return to
fitness clubs thanks to coronavirus. So they if you've invested
in gym like stock and gym workout companies, they said
about I think they're never gonna come back. Think about
an industry losing of their paying customers in one year. Now,
I don't know if that's true, and people are just bullshitting.
(45:45):
I know I'm not going back until it gets back
to the way I remember it. Uh and uh, you
know there's a lot of reasons for that. I work overnights.
I would go to the gym in the wee hours
of the morning. Um, and that is not an option
right now, so it doesn't really work from my schedule.
I also would spend about ninety minutes in there. You
only get about sixty and so it's just not something
(46:05):
I'm interested in and I instead, I'm just the wandering
man going down with win a muck a road here
walking down that's a Johnny Cash restaurants, by the way,
and plus like the other alternative two is if you
want to go outside and exercises. Where do you do
that in your community? Like, if you're in New York
right now, how the fund are you gonna do that
in Seattle? How are you gonna do that? We just
walk around. Yeah, you're gonna try to avoid the sovereign
(46:26):
nations that pop up in your city. Yeah, I mean
you're looking for random things to hurtle over nowadays, Right,
a cop cars, someone burned out cop car, somebody tagging
some building with whatever. Alright, referees. This is this Actually
I thought was interesting, and I was was gonna bring
this up on the radio the other night. I decided
not to do it. I saved it for our little
(46:49):
weekend Fourth of July podcast. Uh, and I hear this.
Referees in soccer, they are stricter without fans in the
stadium to cheer or jeer their calls. Is according to
a new study. Now, I I am skeptical. I want
to see how this how this works, right, I don't
(47:11):
I want to see how this works here because I've
read studies on this that the big advantage you have
at home is that the officials want to appease the crowd,
and that if there's a fifty fifty call like in basketball,
charge or block, if it's the home team that that
would benefit from the call in the crowd would go wild.
(47:33):
You would then side with that. Or in baseball, three
to pitch, ninth inning, Dodgers Stadium, and you've got Kenley
Jansen on the mound, it's on it's right there, could
go either way, striker ball and the umpire punches out,
punches out the cheating Jose Albouve and the crowd goes
(47:55):
wild and uh yeah, so but we'll see if this
is true. We're gonna is this a lot? Uh? They say,
the home team, this is obviously European soccer. Uh, the
home team in Uh that one of the leagues that
they studied here has been penalized more for fouls and
handed more yellow cards and empty stadiums than in non it.
(48:15):
Could you imagine if you had a studio that was
full of either supporters or deniers of each monologue you did, Like,
what kind of reaction you would have after a monologue
if you were cheered or just booed right out of
the building. Oh yeah, yeah, it would be Well. I
get a lot of that on Twitter, but mostly it's
just negative. But it's from a far though, like if
(48:36):
they're up in your grill like you would for an
NBA official. Like can you imagine back in the day,
if you're an NBA official in like Chicago or Philadelphia
or New York. Oh, yeah, that would not well, they was.
It was just a different time, different times. All right,
this is good for you. You're a big alcoholic ascot.
Beer for your brain. Study claims up light drinking may
(48:58):
may maze a weasel word, light drink may protect cognitive function, may,
of course being the key word. And that like there's
a study one week that says, hey, you gotta you know,
don't drink coffee. It's bad for you. The next week,
drink a cup of coffee a day keeps the doctor away. Yeah,
that's that's that. That that same ding. What was the
(49:19):
last time you had any alcohol? Uh? Probably at that
party we went to in Hollywood, Oh, for Rob Parker's birthday. No, no, no,
no other way. It was our my buddy of Rosh Yeah.
Find l a Times columnists rash Markazi, my old co
worker back in the day, a long time ago. I
haven't had a drink since February. You want a cookie? Yeah,
(49:43):
I think that's pretty impressive. All right, I'll give you
a compecion. Today's day. I haven't eaten yet either, especially
today's day age. Right, well, there's like nothing else going on. Yeah, yeah,
there's you gotta be able like beer drinking. Brian and
half Punta. Researchers from the University of Georgia surprisingly concluded
that a little bit of alcohol may actually be a
(50:05):
good thing for the aging brain. And uh, they said.
The key part of that is a little bit. He said,
So a glass of wine with some steak, yeah, and
some green beans. There you go. What a life, What
a fucking happy birthday for me? All right? A new study,
new study shows that stereotypes affect decision making guests, Do
(50:26):
you really do you think we need a study on this? That?
Isn't that just human beings? Like who? It's what's the
term at a risk assessment? In a situation you go into,
if you perceive you stereotype, you have to stereotype. I
don't know how you avoid it. And sales they call
it pre qualifying. Yeah, yeah, so all right, I think
(50:50):
that's that's a good place to hit the pause button. Yes,
it's good, yes, all right, So we will not get
the weird stuff found surfing the web because guest gun
give us b or not to be, which is fine,
I be or not to be. But we can do
the We can do the odd stuff I found surfing
the way. We can do that tomorrow with the email
bag and some other things. Yes. Yes. And since we
can't go outside on the fourth of July and light fireworks,
be careful with lighting fireworks instead of your hospin Well
(51:14):
I do that every day, four hours a night on
the radio. Fireworks here, verbal fireworks couple. Happy Birthday America,
Happy Birthday America. That's a little taboo to say nowadays. Oh,
you can't be patriotic. You're supposed to hate America. Is
that right? Yes. The odd thing to me about the
fourth of July is it isn't actually the right date.
(51:37):
It's one of those things were the founding fathers. You know,
people think that's the day the Constitution was done and
all that, But actually I bring this up sporadically every
couple of years. But it was officially voted for. They
voted for independence on July second, right, And if you
look at it, the things move slower back then. The
(51:58):
most of the people that signed the bulk of the
fifty four people that signed, the men that signed the
final Declaration of Independence. Uh, it was like sent out
on August two, and so it's like it's like this
the timeline on that, like the independence day. Originally, I
think July eighteenth they celebrated it, uh in Philadelphia originally,
(52:21):
but maybe July four is a day. And when the
legend becomes the fact, escon you go with the legend.
Go with the legend. It works, and it doesn't matter
whether it's the wrong date or not, you know, I
know religious scholars say that Christmas is the wrong, wrong
date that Jesus was actually when was it sometime in
the in the summer anyway, All right, listen, have a
(52:43):
wonderful day again. Cameo, Cameo came If you want a
personal video shoutout, would love to do that for you. Uh,
weekends are a great time for that. And you guys
have been great on Cameo. Search my name Ben Maller
and follow us on social media and all the channels
and all that, and have a great day.
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now, green light go, and
we are down the shoots and underway on this edition
of The Fifth Hour, a very patriotic edition The Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller and joined yet again by David Gascon.
Working on the fourth of July. We are here on
(00:44):
a national holiday, which I guess was technically on Friday
for a lot of people got Friday off. But we
we do the show eight days a week. At the
radio show five days, this show three days. And we
thank you for subscribing and downloading and reviewing. Right I've
started through thick and thin, through holidays, furloughs, layoffs. We're pandemics.
(01:06):
We're kind of just simply surviving or amongst the walking dead.
Right now it feels like, yes, just keep talking, keep
the VU meter moving, and that's our main job. Doesn't
matter what we say much because, as we've talked about
many times, about seventy of what's said in audio broadcasting
is completely forgotten because you're doing something else and you're
not paying that close attention. And then every time I
(01:28):
say that, though, guesscon the of people are not even
twenty five is less than that. But the people that
really pay attention and take copious notes of everything I
say and comb over my words, those people say, well,
I heard everything you said. I'm not like I listen
to everything you say, and I am I. Okay, you're
the exception to the rule. That doesn't make the rule.
(01:49):
You're the exception to the rule. Now doesn't that go
I mean to add to your point, doesn't it go
with the Was it like the seven thirty eight and
fifty five rule where only seven percent of your mess
tod just heard and then I think it's thirty eight percent?
Is tone and is body language that nature? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I've seen I've seen that before. Yeah, absolutely, I think
(02:11):
that's that's a law. A big part of it. Now
you're hearing, just listening and hearing the ability to hear.
Y Uh, you're right, it's it's about seven percent of
what you say. The other nineteent is through like facial
expressions and the way the tone. You can have like
the late night D voice, or you can have the
(02:32):
very serious which sounds kind of like the late night
DJ voice. Very serious, talk slowly. It's very important, you know, whisper. Yeah,
the voice is a musical instrument. It is. I used
to get ripped when I first started in radio because
your voice was terrible. Then well that and they said
I was trying to be an FM. They did say
(02:53):
I was trying to be a DJ, like I was
trying to be like Kiss FM or K rock or
something like these. Yeah, eas sleas absolutely that was good.
But now you've evolved, it has matured, and I think
it's led to when you've lost weight. It kind of
coincides with the I don't know, I heard from all
these You're gonna feel so much better when you lost weight.
(03:13):
I didn't feel bad when I was fat, Well, no,
I didn't, I know, but you you sound better. It's
not like you. It's not like you've you know, stuck
yourself in the house, in the room and then smoked
a carton of cigarettes like the old Tom Looney did.
Oh yeah, I d When I first got in the radio,
I was shocked because, you know, my parents were like,
don't smoke cigarettes, you know, because their parents smoked cigarettes
(03:34):
and they all got cancer and all this stuff, so
they don't smoke. Don't smoke, you know. So I and
so I was always like that was brainwashed into me
not to smoke cigarettes. And then I go to the
radio station. Everyone's out in the in the break room
smoking because they're trying to get their voices to sound
more masculine. And I was like, wow, that's good for you,
grateful that your voice is not like that. How do
(03:55):
you feel over the last couple of weeks. I know
you've had some roller coaster events. You've been almost like
a human pinata, especially with your crew chopping you at
the knees. Have you recovered? Yeah? If I usually only
last like a day. I'm in a really surly mood.
I'm in a bad mood. I can tell I want
to I want to punch somebody. I'm I'm questioning my
(04:16):
life choices. Uh, And then you know, calms down and
I'm okay, and then the next fire starts up, and
then we start the whole thing over again, and you
just have to accept that. And you know, I just
have to presume that this is gonna be the way
it's gonna be for for a while here, whatever you do,
don't bend the knee. No, no, I don't. I don't
(04:39):
do that. I'm a big believer or not apologizing to
the mob, because then then you end up, well you're
get in trouble for that, getting more trumble. So yeah,
but you can use ballot to the congregation because, as
you mentioned, the listenership continues to be record highs. We
go from John Sterling last week. We'll see how Leo
(04:59):
to does yesterday. But John Sterling, the voice of the Yankees.
We should get more like baseball play by play guys.
I love talking a baseball play by play games. Well,
if that's the case, we go from from John Sterling,
we need you to get on the horn and get
Vince Scully in here. Then that's the voice of God.
(05:20):
I know, that's it's you know, I can't. I do
have access to me, I know, I know, but that's
I don't know, it's forbidden fruit. I'd love to do it.
I mean, I've talked to him many times over the years,
and it's been always a great honor because I respected
the obviously respective grew up a Dodger fan, and Vince
(05:40):
Scully is a god. But yeah, I don't know he's
Vince spends well, I don't know now because of the apocalypse,
but he did spend a lot of time just with
his grandkids, you know, get up, read the newspaper, have
a cup of coffee like most people do, and then um.
And I know he'll still answer the phone, you know,
occasionally during the day or whatever. But it would be
(06:01):
fun to have him on though. That would be great. Yeah,
I'd be a big one. I always That's the one regret,
especially since you know, when you go into the press
box at Dodger Stadium, it's kind of an open space
and you always see the broadcast. Is that pop in
and out of the cafeteria. I never had that chance
just to say hi. Obviously had a respect. You didn't
(06:21):
want to bother him because preparation. I got a great
story about that. So my my brother lives in New York,
my older brother, and you know, it comes to l
A a a lot to visit family, back before the pandemic,
and one year, many years ago, he came out my
nieces who are now one of them graduated high school.
(06:44):
They were little girls, right, and and so my brother's
father in law, uh wanted to take them to a
Dodging game and they I happen to be working at
the game as a reporter at the time, and uh,
and so I wanted to, you know, show off his
uncle Ben his little girls, who probably don't even remember this,
(07:04):
but I was like, all right, I'm gonna take them
through the press box and I am gonna, you know,
show them my world. Thinking these little girls who couldn't
give a flying you know what about this because they're
little kids. But I was gonna show them. And so
but the one who was really impressed was was my
brother's father in law. But anyway, so I'm walking through
the press box. It happened to be during the seventh inning,
top of the seventh inning, and the top of the
(07:27):
seventh inning ended, and Vince Gully did what he had
always done. Um he in the seventh inning stretch. He
would get up from his broadcast position and he would
stretch his legs and walk. He would literally honor the
seventh inning stretch by getting up and walking back and
forth across the press box and singing the seventh inning
(07:48):
stretch song and waving at those of us in the
press box. What just happened that I was walking by
the Dodger TV booth at the time, then was walking
out to do his round in the press box, and
he he met my nieces and not my father in law,
but my brother's father in law, and it was it
was very nice and very cool, and it was a
(08:09):
fun not planned. I did not plan that gusty on.
It just kind of worked out that way. In fact,
I wanted them to come and hang out with me
earlier in the game, but they waited till the seventh
inning before they were leaving on their way out. So
did they at least capture a few Dodger dogs that
the cafeteria. Yes, I might have used my allotment of
(08:30):
Dodging dogs to pass those on to to my relatives there. Possibly, Yeah,
be cool for people that don't know. Typically it correct
me if I'm wrong, But usually in the beginning of
the seventh inning, the cafeteria will open it up, so
it's like a frenzy for hot dogs and nachos and
and frozen frozen yogurt. Yeah. I think they actually moved
(08:50):
it up to like the fifth inning. But it's like
the fifth inning. Yeah, you get the hot dogs, Dodging dogs,
you get the popcorn, the notches. All that's gone, all
that's gone by the way in the pandemic. I just
got an email. I mentioned this on the radio show
the other day. The Dodgers sent out all these guidelines.
No food, you gotta bring your own food, you gotta
eat at your own position. You're not allowed to mingle
(09:11):
with other people in the media, you know, like it's
one of is like going to the game if you're
a reporter. I don't know how these beat guys are
gonna do it. And I mean part of being a
beat writer is getting in the weeds and getting down
and doing the dirty work in the locker room and interviews.
But a lot of it. Also I've noticed when I
was on the beat as a radio guy back in
(09:33):
the day, is I learned so much crap from other
media people just convincing and and uh and small talking
and schmoozing and and that. I guess that they can
still do it, they just have to do it on
the phone, but it doesn't seem as effective to me.
Is that that FaceTime that head to head, you know,
belly to belly type situation. I'm fascinate about it, especially
(09:56):
because you and I talked about the soft the year.
But earlier in the Seek on Vice, they had a
report that absolutely eviscerated the l A times with credibility
with reporting, with stories and sources and things like that,
and like you mentioned, like you when you get stories
from these players, usually it's in the dug out, it's
(10:17):
in the clubhouse, it's on the fields during p PP
or if you're on the courts during shoot around whatever.
All that stuff is gone. So how do you get
that information that doesn't sound like it's just something you
get from the ap well, and not to let you
understand how they make the hot dogs, but my experience,
a lot of the insider stuff actually came from people
(10:38):
that worked behind the scenes, people that worked in auxiliary
roles supporting players, whether it be in the locker room
or the medical staff or you know, whatever wing of
the team. Those are the people that would often let
you know and give you the inside skinny because people
love to gossip. I mean, that's one thing about the
(11:01):
human condition, whether it's sports, politics, human If you look
at human nature. Humans are gossip. Uh. They use gossip
to cement many of you, to to cement a friendship. Right.
It's it's an odd I think, but anyway, so that's
we went down that rabbit hole. But there you go.
So we we've got pop quiz, We've got a few
(11:23):
don't stick to sports stories and we'll do more of
those tomorrow. We've got a little study. This also some
random weird crap that I found surfing the web that
I thought was interesting. So why don't we start with
the couple that don't stick to sports stories? Here is
anything popping up, And you know what, I wanted to
make an audible on this show if you allow me.
All right, I don't know if this is a Tony
(11:43):
Dungee Peyton Manning tap of ordeal, but I'll try to enact.
At Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup
in the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox
sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio
app search f s R to listen live. Since I'm
a big fan of the of the handle um the
(12:04):
Babylon be, I figured, not only are you a big fan,
you are I don't even have to look at the
Babylon B. Because Guess will send me anything even mildly good.
He will send me. It's like you're on the payroll
over there. It's I feel like you're on the payroll
over there. We have direct competition with the Onion, and
(12:25):
that's why I like it. The Onion is really good.
Babylon B is equally as good. So what I wanted
to do Ben with you since you've done it with
me on study this or pop Quiz, because I want
to have a new segment that would be the B
or not the Bay is the question. This is like
Factor fiction. This is like a cheap rip off version
(12:46):
of Factor Fiction, the game I've been playing for twenty
years on the radio. Yes, so what do I let's
playing the game? All right, here we go. I like, So,
what I want to do is I want to provide
you with the title of the of the report, and
I want you to tell me if it is if
it is actual, if it's actually legit, or if it's
part of the Babylon be okay, all right, So I'm
excited I get to play a game, and I'm excited
about this. All right. Now, I'm gonna give you five
(13:08):
titles that did not make the cut. First, okay, and
these are all from the Babylon be uh. Stacy Abrams
says she'll step down as governor if asked to run
for VP. That it made the cut. Uh. Nike releases
Bernie Sanders signature shoes that help you survive under Socialism.
That it made the cut. Hillary Clinton proposes reparations to
(13:30):
anyone who ever lost a presidential election to Donald Trump
with statues gone pigeons forced to poop on rioters. That's funny.
And last, but not least, conservative man checks Ben Shapiro's
page to find out what he should be outraged by today.
That's about that. You gotta you gotta find out what
(13:53):
to about. You can't just have a conniption fit unless
somebody tells you to have an That's right. So we
go from that to the B or not the B band?
How about this white congressman pulls endorsement of black female
district attorney for being too hard on crime? Alright, so
is that the B or not to be? Uh? Let's
(14:16):
see here, let's think about this logically in the times
we're in now, you know, I'm gonna say that's that's true.
That is actually factually true. It's yeah, I got it right.
What do I w You've hat a prize full of nothing,
a box full? You didn't think I was gonna get
(14:36):
it right, did you know? Well today's climate that is,
but that is a key to Uh you see some
white ANTIFA guy attack a block police officer. Yes, well
here's it's it's the same things. It's just mind bockling
or you know, just when they see these videos of
these random you know, woke Uh, you know, white people
attacking black people. Who are you know? But they're they're
(14:57):
I don't know. I don't I don't understand that. I
is beyond me. I can't figure it out. But there
you go. So let me give you the cherry on top. Ben.
It's actually happening right here in Los Angeles District Attorney
Jackie Lacy is under fire. She's up for re election
this year, but it all depends because CE Congressman Adam
Schiff has pulled his endorsement for her, saying in a tweet,
(15:21):
this is a rare time in our nation's history. We
have a responsibility to make profound changes to end systemic racism.
And where's Leo Torrell? We need our friendly, right, and
he adds, we need to reform criminal justice now, Ben
hear me out on this. Jackie Lacey, Um, here's her resume.
She's a black woman. She graduated from UC Irvin. She
(15:44):
earned her j d at USC and then oh, by
the way, she's the first black woman ever to serve
as a d A in Los Angeles since the role
was created back in eighteen fifty. And then on top
of that, she's actually sixty three years of age, so
it's not like she's thirty year old looking to hammer down,
uh crime to make her you know, make a name
for herself and her career. Yeah, well, it's crazy. Everything's
(16:08):
topsy turvy, Eving's upside down and uh yeah, although it is,
it's very odd when some of these these politicians so
liberated to attack anyone, anybody who's like even slightly outside
of their their dogma. It's like, it's crazy. Yes, next
one for the b or not the b um? How
about this government announces lockdown of all fast food restaurants
(16:31):
to prevent heart diseases. Alright, so yeah, this has got
to be the b I mean that that's that's funny,
that's good, But no, that's that's obviously that is that
is correct? How about this one? Two for two? By
the way, I'm dominating this game. I'm the greatest b
or not to be contested in the history of the game.
(16:53):
It is breathtaking what I am doing right now. I
hope you are appreciating how equipped I am for this
particular game. Yeah, batting a thousand and a truncated season,
how much to stop right now? Because I don't I
can only go down from here. Well that's not true,
because even if you go to for five, it's still
a hell of a batting average. That's a good point.
How about this. One of our states, in our great Republic, Tuscaloosa, Alabama,
(17:14):
has students throwing COVID parties. Is that the B or
not the B? Alright, so full disclosure. I actually I
saw this and I think I saw it on like
the real news, So I have it. I'm gonna I'm
gonna go that this is actually, uh, this is legit.
You are three for three, So bet students in Tuscaloosa, Alabama,
(17:37):
ben are throwing coronavirus parties and what that? Basically, maybe
you're supposed to cough a lot on each other or something.
Like that is apparently, so all these kids are throwing
these parties, and what happens is when you attend, you
throw money into a pot and the first student that
gets the coronavirus wins the pot. Well, how do you
know you have it if you're asymptomatic? Though, that's a
(17:59):
good question I get. Is the only thing you can
do is you can get a antibody's test. Yeah, well
I guess you can do that. But this reminds me
when I was younger. I remember like some kind of
hippie parents would have chicken pox party to get their
kids chicken pox, which seems rather strange to me. But uh,
(18:23):
you know, you gotta love college, man, you gotta love college. Right,
I'm gonna go for it, man, I'll get the corona.
I'll be the man that's like everyone's like Blake snell Of,
I got the corona, you know, just a bunch of
innocent lambs. Just God love him. These are the same.
These are the same people. When they, you know, get
(18:43):
to our you know, mar age, you're a little older,
they're like, oh no, you gotta protect everything, you know. Yeah,
this is the land of tide pods and drinking clorox
to uh to cleaning your body would be the word
exactly the bee or not the bee? How about this one?
Nitty gritty? That term is now being banned on air,
so you can't You're not allowed I use that term everyone,
(19:06):
So you can't say nitty gritty. No, you cannot. So
is this be or not to be? Uh? Well, considering
it's we're in cancel culture time right now, Um, I
I will say that this is that seems I'm sure
there's something I don't know about that, so I'll go yes,
I'm want to say that that is part of cancel culture.
(19:29):
You are for for the game. So we go off
to the greatest start in any player in baseball history
right now, So we go, we go over the pond.
Sky Sports they're actually adding nitty gritty to the band
list due to its links supposedly to slavery. So broadcasters
(19:49):
now are ordered to avoid such language such as nitty gritty,
which may offend viewers. Now, what the network is doing
is they also run through a list prior to going
on air, and they also email the talent on appropriate
words and certain words that they need to stay away from.
Nitty Gritty is on the bad list. Yes. Now, for
all those out there that don't want to look it
(20:11):
up in the Oxford English Dictionary, nitty gritty means fundamentals, realities,
or basic facts of a situation or a subject. Last racist,
you can't have facts, please facts. Yeah, that's that's a
dog whistle. That's a bad job by you. Guess guy.
Now I'm gonna say the last last one for for
(20:32):
the best. I guess to see if you can go
five for five. But this one is a challenging one,
especially one what had happened to the last twenty four
hours the bigger not to be final one, Ben Miller. Alright,
ex this is to go five for five, which would
be one of the great accomplishments in the history of broadcasting.
Maiden Voyage of the b or Not the b Um
Hollywood actors pledged never to take a role where they
(20:56):
have to pretend to be someone else. Well listen, uh,
you whittle down Hollywood and everyone is trying to be
woke mcwoke in Hollywood. So I I think this is
actually true. I think the Hollywood culture is so fucked
(21:18):
up that, you know, the whole concept of acting is
pretending to be other people. Who aren't you. So the
very bedrock of acting is to do that job where
you are playing make believe. But that's how let up
these people in Hollywood are. So I am gonna say
that is legit. I'm trying to go five for five,
guess g Davin Ben Mallory, But you're batty at crisp damnit.
(21:43):
See I put that one in there because a couple
of voiceover actors just two days ago had said that
they're gonna be quitting their quitting their vo jobs on
The Simpsons because they portray Uh, an Indian store clerk,
and a couple other voices that are on that show.
So yeah, there have been I know there's been some
people who said there was a woman that did like
(22:04):
the voice of a cartoon character who was a little
girl who's like black or something like that in the cartoon,
and she quit it right, And but it doesn't seem
to make a lot of sense to me that that minds.
Am I missing something here? Like Uh only allowed to
play Like if you're a forty year old woman, you
(22:27):
can only play a forty year old woman because otherwise
you gotta if you have a six year old, you
gotta get a six year old to play a six
year old, they've gotta be exactly the same. The genetics
have to be this. It doesn't seem like a very
reasonable um situation, and it really trims down the talent pole, right,
because how many voice over actors that you get their children,
or how many older people that you get that can
(22:49):
sound like a grandma or grandpa or someone that's refined?
You know, it's mad voyage you are. That's not about
at all. Man, take that feete Rose, Tony Gwyn. Oh
you guys sit there boom. Be sure to catch live
editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am
easternm Pacific. Alright, well, whyhy don't we get to pop quiz.
(23:12):
This is where I get to ask you a questions
and I love this. It's my favorite bit that we
do here, pop quiz. And here we go. These are
actual questions about pop culture, and we'll see how guess going.
Doesn't you gonna answer as well? The way the bit's
supposed to work. You gotta answer, And but I don't
know what you're answering because I can't hear you. It's
the magic of broadcasting, all right, So here we go,
They say, who were there? They say that children are
(23:32):
incapable of doing this until they reach the magic age
of four. What is it that kids are unable to
do no matter how smart they are or how dumb
they are, they can't do this until they reach the
age of four. Uh No, that is the that is incorrect.
The correct answer is lie. Mm. That's interesting. That is interesting?
(24:00):
Is that because if you're like three and you're learning,
you start talking, You're like you start anytime you you
make a mistake, you you don't know. You don't know
what a lie is. You don't know the concept of
a lie. Maybe that or that that's probably the appropriate
age that parents feel like they can discipline their kids
too well. I have a niece that just turned four.
(24:23):
Um on the on actually today, the fourth of July
is my niece's birthday. I guess I'm gonna tell her
mom my sister in law that she is now able
to lie. Congratulations. You get a lie card, you get
a driver's license, then you get a passport, you get
all these things that are certain, you know, moments in
a person's life that are a rite of passage. And
(24:46):
the age of four is the age not of reason
the age of line to go. Yeah, alright, a reason.
Survey found nearly two and five Americans would not only
change jobs, but would take a pay cut if they
could have have this at work. What is it? Um,
they can have this at work? I just correct, that's
(25:07):
the question. There's two things they could guess on this.
Would it be their pet or there? Would it be
their pet? Or that is that stop right there? That
is it their pet? Nice? Yeah, so Americans love their
pets so much they would be willing to take less
money to have their pet with him. Now, I've been
fortunate guest gone from the home studio of Fox Sports
(25:29):
Radio the remote Geico Fox Sports Radio studios, which are
in the Mallard Mansion, buried in the secret location deep
in the bowels of the Mallard Mansion, and Bella has
spent many a night while I've been broadcasting since March
from here, and she's been hanging out with me, and
as long as she doesn't bark, she's allowed to stay
in here. Every once in a while she'll start pawing
at my leg because she wants to go to take
(25:51):
a whizz or go to the get a drink or
something like that. So I gotta open up the door,
but she has to wait. Bella's gotta wait until a
break and not that we take, but it's for her
to break. So does she ever get tired coming into
your studio because there's a long walk. I don't know
if many people know this, but you have a three
story house, and so it's a three story I do
not have a three story house. I'm not west of
(26:12):
the flour oh five, I'm not. And I've never lied
about where I live like somebody I know who has
possibly tried to say they live in a more blue
collar part. That's not okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna call
bullshit on that. I was. I know that. When I
(26:33):
first started becoming a friend with you, and I asked,
I believe where you live, you gave me a certain city,
and then somehow an address came up with your name
attached to it a much different part of town, you know. Alright,
Moving on. More adults are doing this right now than
at any other time in the history of the United States.
(26:57):
What is it adults having more sex? Uh? No, they're
not stooping more. No, it's living with their parents or grandparents. Interesting,
there are more adults right now doing that now. Some
of it is to save money, some of it is
save a life, save a life, to help your parents out.
(27:20):
It's it's also a big part of it older parents, grandparents. Uh,
but that's important to man. If you're that's underrated. Man.
If you look out for your grandparents, that's tough work.
And you see them get old and their bodies fall apart,
that an't easy, not easy at all. Right. After spending
the last three months of the pandemic together, fifty eight
percent of couples say this, what is it? I want
(27:45):
a divorce? See that's what I thought would be the answer,
But it's actually they want to spend the rest of
their lives together. Ready, bliss enough, I believe that. No way,
but not here in California anyway. No. New survey says
one in three Americans by this from the girl those
free store at least once per week. But this surprised me. Bananas?
(28:05):
No what it's something that is refrigerated milk, no, believe
it or not. A frozen dinners good frozen pizzas. Man, Yeah,
I guess that counts. That has to count. Rights as
a frozen meal. Um. When I was a Bachelor. I
used to get those Hungry Man TV dinners. Yeah, and
(28:26):
I got very excited when they had that pound, you know,
a pound of food. You're not like, oh boy, this
is great. But did you go like pizza pockets or
pizza bites. How would you go with the with the
frozen pizza? Uh no, I would just make the I
would get the pie and I would uh well, I
like when de Jorna came around. What I remember the
days before de jor No, and uh yeah, I would
I get my toppings or whatever it was. You know,
(28:46):
that was that was an easy make. I had no
problem with that. I like making the pizza from scratch
from time to time. We've been doing that, which is
which is kind of cool. But the frozen dinners, I
liked them, but you never they never cook right because
I would put them in the microwave. You're supposed to
put them in the oven to make them really taste decent.
And it was always the corn was way too hot,
(29:07):
or that brownie, the little brownie and the little square.
Would it be too too hot compared to the other
stuff because I wouldas it that first, you know, or
things would stick that yeah, yeah, exactly or you get
like the fish sticks and they would the bottom part
would kind of stick to it, and you're like, oh crap.
You know. Anyway, the breading any moving on New York,
Chicago and lost wages. Nevada have seen a large increase
(29:31):
of this over the last month. What is uh no
fireworks noise? People complaining about fireworks. I've seen that a
lot here in l A at night. I don't know
a lot of conspiracies on why that is, but yeah,
I think a lot of those are bullshit. We're doing
(29:51):
pop quiz. A new study found that men dudes twice
as likely to do this as women, but by the
time time we reach our forties, which is close to
home Gisco, women are slightly more likely to do this
than a a man. So again, this is according to
the study, they found that the dudes are twice as
(30:12):
likely to do this than women, but by the time
everyone reaches forty, women are slightly more likely to do
this than than men. Exercise uh no, actually speed When
driving around, women drive slower, and then when they reach
a certain age, they're like, who gives a funk, I'm
(30:34):
gonna hit the hit the gas pedal. I can appreciate that. Yeah,
there you go. All right, let's see here, any men,
what's next? Alright? Three out of ten people say they
sometimes do this while playing Monopoly. What is it once
the last time you played Monopoly? I haven't played Monopoly
(30:54):
and forever. Yeah, three out of ten people. Yeah, I
will say, um, I'll say that they miscount the miscount. Yeah,
we'll go an extra look, an extra marketing. What is
it like boardwalk and park plays the two spots you
want to be on? Yeah? H no. The correct answer
(31:17):
is three out of ten people say that they quit
to avoid losing. They just give up. They raised the
white flag and say that's it. No, Moss, I'm out,
I'm done, see you later. Monopoly takes too long. It
does take a long time. But if you're winning, it
doesn't matter. It's kind of like my look at baseball.
(31:38):
If your team is great, it doesn't matter they play
a hundred and sixty games because they win most of
them and you love it and you're excited by it.
But if the team sucks, so oh, there's too many games.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven PM Pacific. All right,
it is said that we spend about fifty of our
lives doing this sitting in traffic. Yeah right, well that
(32:00):
lay that I would say, Um, I'll say fuck, um,
you'll say a fuck today. We don't spend on our
cell phones. Cell phone? Uh no, they say daydream. Oh yeah,
you're thinking about something. You're imagining some other scenario while
you're living your life. Now do you night dreams? Since
(32:21):
you don't go to sleep during the night, you are
sleeping in the daytime. So do you do night dream?
Do I night dream? Uh? No? Not really? Do you daydream?
I don't. The only time I dream is if I
take a Kirkland brand sleep age. Because I don't get
to it. I'm like, I'm sleeping, but I'm not in
(32:43):
the really deep rem sleep that you need to be
in the dream. It's rarely get into that. I'm not
a great sleeper. I blame my my, my parents, my
dad and both my dad and my mom. We're not
particularly great sleepers. So it doesn't help with your work schedule. Yeah, well,
that's also problem. I have noticed when I take time
off that doesn't happen very often. But I go to
(33:07):
beddle oiler and I sleep better like it's shocking. I
don't know why that is. I don't know if there's
a correlation between those two events. But anyway, regarding the
current pandemic, what in three people surveys said they are
they have noticed this? Uh what is it that they noticed? God,
(33:28):
it's pretty pretty vague. I just involves some creature in
the house. Um, they notice more spiders in the house.
Now they noticed that their pet has gotten fat. It's
a cat or a dog or whatever. I don't think
this applies to lizards. No, do you do you do
(33:50):
you clip Bella's coat? No, but Bella went to the groomer. Um,
and now about a third of the dog went to
a groomer. Yeah, that's very very white color. You well,
you would know about that. West of the four oh five.
And I was trying to find a gift for you,
and I was looking up, but I couldn't find it.
(34:10):
It would have been the greatest gift because Guestcon's birthdays
coming up. The Cougar, it's gonna be guests about the turn.
Giscon's about the turn fifty years older. You've already you've
already sent me a gift. Well, I understand. But I
was trying to find a specific book that was written
about the four oh five freeway, and I looked all
(34:30):
over the internet and I spent about, well, I'm not
gonna embell it. I spent about thirty minutes trying to
find a book because I thought this would be the
hilarious couldn't find a book. I was like, nobody's written
a book about just a four oh five freeway that
goes from Irvine to the San Fernando Valley, which Gascon
(34:50):
mistakenly thought went all the way up the west coast
because I was in Santa Barbara when I was on
furlough and guest guns like your west of the four H.
I was like, no, I'm not. The four h five
freeway ends way ends in the San Fernando Valley, way
before uh Santa Barbara. It turns into it when you
weren't for a load, you're on vacation, and I was
(35:13):
for a load and I had a fine time getting
I'm glad I got out because King Newsom closed everything.
Then I got in there before the king and the
parliament and all that. You got me in trouble, the monarchy,
and yes, uh of us are considering this as a
result of the coronavirus, a career change, not moving. Oh,
(35:36):
I know, I'm not. Are you thinking about moving? No? What? Well?
Where would I go anyway? Arizona, Scottsdale. I don't. I
don't know where you go to Vegas or something? No
funk that you go to Vegas. You could dominate Vegas
radio though, Yeah, but Vegas there's no radios. But what
are you gonna have? You have the Golden Nights, Yes,
you'll have the Raiders, but you got no Major League
(35:58):
Baseball and you've got no NBA. Got every casino you
could possibly want. You it's a great Vegas. The weather
is nice, nice and warm and toasty hot. No, it's hot.
It's hot. If I were to go anywhere that was
east of Los Angeles, it would be Scottsdale. Yeah. Again,
that's like west of the four oh five. It is,
it's in Scottsdale, but it's very bouge, showing how narcissist
(36:23):
you are. Listen, the men that listen to your show
are are very healthy, um, and they're very e centric.
There's tons of Iye candy in Scottsdale. So if you're
not coming to l a you can't afford it for vacations.
To guest you didn't get the memo from cancel culture.
We're not supposed to appreciate a good looking woman as men.
(36:45):
We can no longer. And that's the next step. Right,
do we start with the mask and we get to
the burk boy. I can't wait. I can't wait till
Dr Fauci announces we need a burk man. That that'll be.
That'll be good. Imagine, I'm gonna brand you can put
your your logo on the Burko though, right, So what
you're gonna put the Fifth Hour in front? You're gonna
put the Ben Mallar show right on the head, right
(37:07):
above the eyes, this little slit for the eyes there
right there. And then you're gonna put one like a
goalie mask. You gonna put it on your chin too, Yeah,
of course, all right, more pop quiz. You are more
likely to be stung by a bee if you're eating
this food item a strawberry. Dude, No, it's actually something
(37:28):
you mentioned earlier in the show. Guys pizza, No pizza.
Bees are attracted to pizza. Banana banana a banana. Jeez,
I don't know who the fox eating a banana outdoors anywhere.
The bees love a pepperoni pizza. That would be like,
I would like that. I would like to stay. You
know this dumb, dumb because he's eating a slice of pizza.
(37:48):
Do you ever see people outside eating a banana? I
see strawberries, they see oranges. I do. I have seen
in New York at Central Park I remember sitting out
there and they there was so there was a fruit
stand and then people in bananas. Well, Central Parkers turned
into an autonomous zones. So I don't know what you're
talking about. It is it? Yeah? Okay? Is it a
sovereign nation? Yes, the People's Republic. A new survey found
(38:11):
passwords are number number one thing that Americans forget most often.
What is number two? According to this new service, I
would say a pen for their a T M or
debit card. That is a good guest, But no, it's
things on your shopping list, Like you go to the
store and you try to remember what you need and
(38:33):
you forget something. I thought number five was what I
really am bad at on this and this was my
average Americans. They listed three thirty two forgetful moments a
year that happened, but the password was number one. Number
two was the shopping list. The one that stood out
to me was number five. A person's name after being introduced.
(38:53):
And I can't tell you how many times I've been
in a social setting and and you for you know,
you're intern, they say their name, and then for whatever reason,
you forget, and you're like ah, and it's that awkward thing,
you know, it's like ah. And and you know from
reading the book that I read years ago, the most
(39:15):
and the sweetest sound that someone can hear is their name. Right,
It's the sweetest sound you can possibly hear. And yeah,
it's that that old Dale Carnegie thing, right. The person's
name is to that person, the sweetest and most important
sound in any language. And then when somebody tells you
their name, and then like a minute later, you're like,
(39:36):
oh fuck. And so then you just say, hey dude,
hey guy, what's going on? Man? You know you go
down that road. Well, I just I mean, when I've
been out with you, and the misses is, I will
introduce you to the people I don't know on the regular.
So that way, you have to introduce yourself to them first,
and then I piggyback off of that well, it's just
(39:56):
the easiest way to do it. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
I don't know. I would bad habit of doing that.
I try to repeat their names now more on on
everyday occasion. So yeah, yeah. I Unfortunately, now because of
the apocalypse, being an introvert, I don't have to worry
about going on meeting people, so I have to worry
about any I love how you gave that great statue
of the night on radio about how you're more likely
(40:17):
to die while driving to work than you are of
the coronavirus. Yes, what the fuck are you? Don't drive anywhere?
That is correct. I drive once a week. I'm worried
about dying in a car atolutely But but no I
people have said, what are you coming back? Well, I
am following the I heart media. Go I am. I
am following a mandate. I'm a good soldier. I know
(40:37):
you're not guest. Go on, You're a rebel, you're an
anti art you know, anarch is kind of guy. But
I follow what my bosses tell me. And when my
bosses say go ahead, come back in, I'm there. I
am there with bells and whistles on the ever done that?
So I wonder how much gas. You've actually saved gas
money you've saved driving not driving. The workouts of the
(40:58):
one it was it was probably over five hundred miles
a week. Uh, probably a lot more than that actually
when you add on some of the other stuff. So yeah,
that's a tank of gas a week. Oh yeah, plus
the services. And that's right. So I'm coming out a
hit on this all right, now, this is something you
(41:18):
you should know the answer to guest Gon based on
your little secret you don't like to talk about much.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Sales
of women's wardrobe this particular women's wardrobe item have gone
up sixty since the lockdown. For those that don't know,
(41:40):
Gascon's nickname is Rue Paul gas nickname. Yeah, Um, I
can't say stockings right, No, it's not stock you could.
I mean, I like that. It's not really my answer,
but it's my answer. I liked it because it was right.
You would have taken credit, Yeah, bras no flats flats? Yeah,
(42:01):
what the hell? You? You know? The shoes that are
just flats, right, And that's what's because you don't have
women were high heels or whatever they were these like
style and shoes and go out and press people their
girlfriends or dudes. But they don't have to worry about
I would assume that's why. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
I don't know. Got up six all right? Last one
on popquins. We got a few study this. We're getting
(42:23):
along here because you're a little game show, Gasco. How
dare you? Alright? Pop quiz? Here we go. Ut of
American parents now catch themselves saying this phrase that their
parents used to say to them when they were little
kids back in my days. Back your margin. No, uh,
it's something involving eating. Oh, make sure to eat your
(42:46):
greens or your vegetables. That's what I thought. But no,
it's don't eat that. You'll spoil your dinner. Fuck, don't
eat that ice cream. You'll spoil your dinner. And listen,
I'm guilty of that. Going to steakhouses, I'll get as
much bread as possible. Or if you go to like
a Brazilian steakhouse, when you get to eat all the
sides first before the meat comes out. I don't know
(43:08):
I want to point out guests gun that as far
as your your birthday and you're the Big five, oh
and all that for you coming up here. And we
were planning me and the missus to take you to
a steakhouse because we know you have steakhouses, and I
would like to thank this is one thing King Newsome
got right. Because we can't take you to a steakhouse.
They're all closed. So I was like, okay, so I
(43:30):
guess we're screwed on this, and but we're actually again
coming out financially ahead because I know you would have
ordered the way you rolled west of the four or
five your pedigree, you would have ordered the most expensive
steak on the menu and a bottle of wine red
white both, I don't care seven appetizers. You would have
just gone for. It is what you would. How about
you barbecue that steak that I got you? It gives
(43:53):
you something to complain about, it does. It's like it's
like the Dodgers trying to win a World Series man
losers since at yes, and they'll they aren't built for
the shortened season, nine strikes season they won work stopping season, right?
Study this real or bullshit? Do a few of these
tributes to Penn and Taylor, Lockdown, Loneliness, coronavirus quarantine has
(44:17):
a quarter of adults feeling like they have no friends. Yeah,
I believe that. Yeah, there's some people that we work
with that actually have said that, Oh yeah, I don't
want to name names, but they feel isolated because because
there's no motion in what we're doing, right Like everything
that you do for your show, you're looking for sound bites,
(44:39):
you're looking for anything to pull from. But most of
the guys we work with, they're always in the flow
of things like pull on sound from you or for
anybody else with a game going on, or press conferences
or guys getting arrested or doing stupid ship. We get
none of that right now, and outside of that, they
have no other activities. So I believe it really is
interesting because like, the whole cool thing about working at
(45:00):
radio station is the people, you know, talking and schmoozing
with each other and doing that whole thing, and you
can't do that right now, even and there's a bare
bones staff that's there. I did have to go in
the other night, guess go on because the car, not
the car, the line, the broadcast line went down. So alright, lockdown.
We mentioned lockdown lonely. How about this. A quarter of
(45:23):
JIM goers do not expect that they'll ever return to
fitness clubs thanks to coronavirus. So they if you've invested
in gym like stock and gym workout companies, they said
about I think they're never gonna come back. Think about
an industry losing of their paying customers in one year. Now,
I don't know if that's true, and people are just bullshitting.
(45:45):
I know I'm not going back until it gets back
to the way I remember it. Uh and uh, you
know there's a lot of reasons for that. I work overnights.
I would go to the gym in the wee hours
of the morning. Um, and that is not an option
right now, so it doesn't really work from my schedule.
I also would spend about ninety minutes in there. You
only get about sixty and so it's just not something
(46:05):
I'm interested in and I instead, I'm just the wandering
man going down with win a muck a road here
walking down that's a Johnny Cash restaurants, by the way,
and plus like the other alternative two is if you
want to go outside and exercises. Where do you do
that in your community? Like, if you're in New York
right now, how the fund are you gonna do that
in Seattle? How are you gonna do that? We just
walk around. Yeah, you're gonna try to avoid the sovereign
(46:26):
nations that pop up in your city. Yeah, I mean
you're looking for random things to hurtle over nowadays, Right,
a cop cars, someone burned out cop car, somebody tagging
some building with whatever. Alright, referees. This is this Actually
I thought was interesting, and I was was gonna bring
this up on the radio the other night. I decided
not to do it. I saved it for our little
(46:49):
weekend Fourth of July podcast. Uh, and I hear this.
Referees in soccer, they are stricter without fans in the
stadium to cheer or jeer their calls. Is according to
a new study. Now, I I am skeptical. I want
to see how this how this works, right, I don't
(47:11):
I want to see how this works here because I've
read studies on this that the big advantage you have
at home is that the officials want to appease the crowd,
and that if there's a fifty fifty call like in basketball,
charge or block, if it's the home team that that
would benefit from the call in the crowd would go wild.
(47:33):
You would then side with that. Or in baseball, three
to pitch, ninth inning, Dodgers Stadium, and you've got Kenley
Jansen on the mound, it's on it's right there, could
go either way, striker ball and the umpire punches out,
punches out the cheating Jose Albouve and the crowd goes
(47:55):
wild and uh yeah, so but we'll see if this
is true. We're gonna is this a lot? Uh? They say,
the home team, this is obviously European soccer. Uh, the
home team in Uh that one of the leagues that
they studied here has been penalized more for fouls and
handed more yellow cards and empty stadiums than in non it.
(48:15):
Could you imagine if you had a studio that was
full of either supporters or deniers of each monologue you did, Like,
what kind of reaction you would have after a monologue
if you were cheered or just booed right out of
the building. Oh yeah, yeah, it would be Well. I
get a lot of that on Twitter, but mostly it's
just negative. But it's from a far though, like if
(48:36):
they're up in your grill like you would for an
NBA official. Like can you imagine back in the day,
if you're an NBA official in like Chicago or Philadelphia
or New York. Oh, yeah, that would not well, they was.
It was just a different time, different times. All right,
this is good for you. You're a big alcoholic ascot.
Beer for your brain. Study claims up light drinking may
(48:58):
may maze a weasel word, light drink may protect cognitive function, may,
of course being the key word. And that like there's
a study one week that says, hey, you gotta you know,
don't drink coffee. It's bad for you. The next week,
drink a cup of coffee a day keeps the doctor away. Yeah,
that's that's that. That that same ding. What was the
(49:19):
last time you had any alcohol? Uh? Probably at that
party we went to in Hollywood, Oh, for Rob Parker's birthday. No, no, no,
no other way. It was our my buddy of Rosh Yeah.
Find l a Times columnists rash Markazi, my old co
worker back in the day, a long time ago. I
haven't had a drink since February. You want a cookie? Yeah,
(49:43):
I think that's pretty impressive. All right, I'll give you
a compecion. Today's day. I haven't eaten yet either, especially
today's day age. Right, well, there's like nothing else going on. Yeah, yeah,
there's you gotta be able like beer drinking. Brian and
half Punta. Researchers from the University of Georgia surprisingly concluded
that a little bit of alcohol may actually be a
(50:05):
good thing for the aging brain. And uh, they said.
The key part of that is a little bit. He said,
So a glass of wine with some steak, yeah, and
some green beans. There you go. What a life, What
a fucking happy birthday for me? All right? A new study,
new study shows that stereotypes affect decision making guests, Do
(50:26):
you really do you think we need a study on this? That?
Isn't that just human beings? Like who? It's what's the
term at a risk assessment? In a situation you go into,
if you perceive you stereotype, you have to stereotype. I
don't know how you avoid it. And sales they call
it pre qualifying. Yeah, yeah, so all right, I think
(50:50):
that's that's a good place to hit the pause button. Yes,
it's good, yes, all right, So we will not get
the weird stuff found surfing the web because guest gun
give us b or not to be, which is fine,
I be or not to be. But we can do
the We can do the odd stuff I found surfing
the way. We can do that tomorrow with the email
bag and some other things. Yes. Yes. And since we
can't go outside on the fourth of July and light fireworks,
be careful with lighting fireworks instead of your hospin Well
(51:14):
I do that every day, four hours a night on
the radio. Fireworks here, verbal fireworks couple. Happy Birthday America,
Happy Birthday America. That's a little taboo to say nowadays. Oh,
you can't be patriotic. You're supposed to hate America. Is
that right? Yes. The odd thing to me about the
fourth of July is it isn't actually the right date.
(51:37):
It's one of those things were the founding fathers. You know,
people think that's the day the Constitution was done and
all that, But actually I bring this up sporadically every
couple of years. But it was officially voted for. They
voted for independence on July second, right, And if you
look at it, the things move slower back then. The
(51:58):
most of the people that signed the bulk of the
fifty four people that signed, the men that signed the
final Declaration of Independence. Uh, it was like sent out
on August two, and so it's like it's like this
the timeline on that, like the independence day. Originally, I
think July eighteenth they celebrated it, uh in Philadelphia originally,
(52:21):
but maybe July four is a day. And when the
legend becomes the fact, escon you go with the legend.
Go with the legend. It works, and it doesn't matter
whether it's the wrong date or not, you know, I
know religious scholars say that Christmas is the wrong, wrong
date that Jesus was actually when was it sometime in
the in the summer anyway, All right, listen, have a
(52:43):
wonderful day again. Cameo, Cameo came If you want a
personal video shoutout, would love to do that for you. Uh,
weekends are a great time for that. And you guys
have been great on Cameo. Search my name Ben Maller
and follow us on social media and all the channels
and all that, and have a great day.
Host
Ben Maller
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