August 1, 2020 • 55 mins
How fast are you? Can you beat Benny fast? We think not. Ben and his bitter wingman return with all the spotlight on Big Ben and his amazing accomplishment. Plus the fellas look at more studies and recent trends in the world of coronavirus.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Bo. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere the
vast and ever expanding Fox Sports Radio Empire. But this
is a podcast on the I Heart Podcast network. As
we are bloviating the weekend away. Now this podcast makes
it eight days a week. This is the Saturday Podcast,
(00:45):
because four hours on the overnight during the week each
night are not enough. And we are back at its
slaving away over the hot microphones here yet again, joined
by the very polarizing the lightning Rod, the troll Will
Maker David Gascon. You don't need to do that. You
(01:12):
don't need to do that just checking us sea or
not splitting at them here, Ben, But we are splitting stocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's uh. You know, you've gotten to an age where
you're you're now really keeping an eye on the stock market,
and you're like, okay, let's see, how can I make
some money here? How can I how can I figure
out how to beat the system? It's it's legalized gambling, right,
(01:35):
That's exactly what it is. It is the government. It's
taboo in a lot of It was taboo for a
long time to put a bet down like on the Bengals.
You know, you couldn't do that. We should never been
on the bank with anybody but just an NFL team.
But then like all of a sudden, like hey, now,
but gambling, betting on a company to make it is fine.
Betting on a sports team to do something that you
can't do that. But now now fortunately that's turned around
(01:57):
a little bit and the people have embraced They've made
a deal with the devil and they've embraced that. But yeah,
the stock market interesting up and down, roller coaster, roller coaster.
So uh. We had Coatino Mobley on yesterday's podcast. Catino
former Clipper legend and now working at Fox Sports Radio,
and and oh that was good to talk to Coatino
(02:20):
and get his thoughts on the NBA coming back, and
I loved what he said. My favorite part of that
was when he talked about the Rockets and why it
didn't work when they had Barkley, Pippen and Elijahan and
his other all. Barkley was eight hundred pounds or whatever,
Elijahlan was forty, and you know Pippen was you know,
the ho they gave the whole thing. Yeah, it just
made me because part of the thing that you asked
him too was just the state of the game. And
(02:43):
and I asked about the product of it, and you know,
he said it candily. He'd be lighting it up nowadays
if he was playing in this era. And it makes
me think of quarterbacks from years past, like Elway and
Marino and Jim Kelly and Joe Montana. They have some
gaudy numbers in the NFL now if they were a
lot of playing today's game. Well, yeah, I mean just
because defensively, you're in basketball, you're not allowed to play defense. Really,
(03:07):
the hand check that was like the last the last frontier.
Once they got rid of the hand check out of
the NBA, it was it was on like Donkey Kong,
you could do whatever the hell you wanted now in basketball.
And but Catino Mobile in particular, I mean, he he
was his game was like today's players, but they didn't
let him usually, you know, do a lot of that
stuff because because of you know, coaches trying to play
(03:30):
it my way. Now, now my way is the way
that Katino he would be perving for him with the
with the win the game is anyway. All right, So
today's podcast, we've got the fastest man in the room.
All right, you ready for that. You don't know what
that is. That's a little surprised they're the fastest man
in the room. We have pop quiz as well. Study
(03:52):
this is also on the agenda, study slash survey. This
mostly study this this weekend and probably do be or
not to be, depending on the time, and then we'll
have If we don't do it today, we'll have it
for the Sunday one, and then we also have the
mail bag on Sunday. I'm good with that. There's a
lot of people that actually like the B or not
(04:14):
the BE, So it's I don't think that's true. I
think it is what I get in random d m
s about stories that were just posted. I'm like, hold on,
hold on, I can't I can't see these, I can't
look at these, and I can't be tempted to send
them to you because then obviously you'll know the the oh,
so you now this is good. So the be or
not to be is forcing you to not send me
(04:35):
every story on the Babylon BE. I like that. So
that's good because there was a period where all you
would do anytime they posted something new over there, you
would send me the most trusted name in fake news. Well,
there's my hope that one day you would read it
and take it as gospel and as truth, and maybe
(04:55):
you stumble upon it on air or while you're on
air and then just read it verbatim like it's truth. Now,
you don't know. There's a rumor going around that you
know somebody at the Babylon B. That's why you love
it so much, But you you don't, Is that true?
You know? Do you have a friend there? No? No,
I do not. That's unfortunate. I have connected a few
times with one of the guys that runs Freezing Cold Takes,
(05:18):
which is the social media handle forgot oh you have Yeah, yeah,
yeah that guy. You guys a loser, he's good. Um.
I have not connected with anyone from Babylon B or
the Onion. Um, those are those are great spots. Man
Like satire is a lost art in today's world, especially
because people get so triggered on certain ship Yeah boom,
(05:39):
just like that. Yeah all right, you know this the
people to your show, some of the people who work
on the show. It's it's that's just the way it is.
I mean, I I understand. It's the way of the world.
I get it, all right. So let's get going on
this fastest man in the room. All right. Now, you
probably think I'm going one direction, but I'm gonna zig
and I'm gonna zag is what I'm gonna do. I
(06:00):
I don't like to pat myself on the back. That's
more your thing. Gascon. But uh, while being peppered with
photos of fried chicken sandwiches and piles of fries and
four pattied triple double cheese burgers, uh and getting chili
cheese fries photos sent my way, Well, all that was
(06:23):
going on. The fastest man in the room, not the
fastest in the foot race. But when it comes to
not eating, when being dedicated to the fasting lifestyle, that
is a ding ding ding ding ding, that is a
winner in in my department, I completed. I've been fasting
for a couple of years. It's it's my thing, it's
my michigas. But I completed now the second longest fast
(06:47):
I have ever been a party two uh in my
fasting period of my life. And I tweeted to you
and I believe you call me a fucking idiot. I
believe is what you called me. But I I fasted
for eighty seven hours in twenty five minutes. Uh, the
(07:10):
from Saturday night to Wednesday, I did not, did not eat,
did not didn't he have. Yeah, I can't hear you, bag,
because you've got a thousand people of calling you an
(07:31):
asshole right now. No, I don't know why. Why would
I be calling it? Says, it's just showing you willpower, dedication,
and grit. When my person I do a podcast with
is openly trying to distract me and sending me pictures
of chocolate chip cookies, chewy chocolate chip cookies and all
these other things, I mean, it's just it's just not well,
hold on, hold on. First of all, we even had
(07:53):
this conversation last week with Dave Rubin, like some of
the finer spots or spots that we'd like to go
to here in l A and particularly Mexican food, we
haven't had that for the longest of times. So you know,
you look at pictures and you know it's something you
want to get, right, cheese fries. Yeah, but this like
five nights a week you, I mean, look at some
(08:14):
pretty girls or something like what are you doing? Yeah,
I mean most people go on Instagram and look at
booty models. You go on there to look at big
baskets of cookies. But what's wrong with you? I do both.
I can't send those to you. You're married, You're happily married.
So it's you know, I can't do that. You know,
let's send those to the rest of my friends that
I connected. So I'm out of the loop because I'm married.
I don't get to look at beautiful people. What's up
(08:35):
with that? No, you you're not at the loop. It's
just you go down that path. So I'm on the
food I'm on the food I'm on the food list,
but not the Oh my god. Yes, I think it's
only fair right now. You get you get food and
you get Babylon be that's what you get there you
go fun fact, by the way, guests got the eight
seven hour, five minute fast and I complete it. This week.
(08:58):
I was able to work out every day. Yeah, Well,
I mean I went, I went on long walks and
Hunter dwree weather, So I consider that a workout. Uh
you know it's five six seven mile walks or whatever,
so that's to me, that's a workout. And then because
I'm not going back to the gym, certain unless they
go back to the way they were, which I doubt
that will happen, but maybe it will. Um, so I
(09:19):
was able to work out. And then this is the
second longest. The longest fast I've ever had was a
little over ninety hours, and that was only because I
was in the hospital and I had my gall bladder
taken out and they would not let me eat solid
foods or any food for that matter. Uh. I just
know I was on a water a regiment, which is
(09:41):
why I normally do anyway. But when I came in,
I didn't eat it for like two days. When I
went to the hospital and they were like, all right,
you can't eat for another you know, cup until we
have operation or whatever. And so I I was unable
to eat. And then the other fast I had it
was really long, was I was in Boston doing stuff
for w E I, and I was just I was
doing the what was it seven eight hours of radio
(10:01):
a day because I was doing the three or four
hour EI show and then I had the overnight show
that I had to do, so I had no time
to eat, so I just didn't eat. And my wife
wasn't there to force me to eat, so I just
did not eat most of I finally broke it, like
the next to last day. I was in Boston for
the entire week, and I I finally just said, I
got and I like a whole pizza. I like an
(10:23):
entire pizza by myself in the hotel room that was
pre pandemic. I could have gone out, but I just
stayed in the hotel and made the whole damn pizza
in with it. But I loved it. Now, did you not?
Did you cap off this last fast by having a
nice two and a half pound Tomahawks steak? You know,
that's a great question, guess, and I'm gonna I'm gonna
refrain from answering that right now. I'm gonna refrain from
(10:45):
answering that right now. I mean maybe I'll get do
it in a future podcast. You know, I really appreciate
it if you could answer it now, Like that's that's
kind of what I'm It's all about you. You're trying
to make it all about No, I'm not trying to
make it about me. Yeah, all about you was about you.
It was for you, and it was like five months ago,
so it wasn't five months ago, and it's it's it's
(11:06):
right now, paused. The steak is paused in the freezer.
It paused, and I will thaw the steak out and
I will have here's the problem. You know, you should
do you play my wife because every weekend when I
plan on having a nice barbecue, she's like, all right,
we're gonna go on a road trip up Highway one
through California because not everything's closed, or we're gonna, you know,
go go somewhere, go swimming at our my in laws pool,
(11:31):
you know, my father in law's pool, whatever, So that
kind of stuff on the weekends. But uh, the reason
I was able this is great too. The reason I
was able to pull off an eighty seven hour fast
this week is because my wife was so busy with
work she forgot what day of the week it was.
And I normally eat on Tuesdays. The day I eat,
she thought Tuesday was Monday. She was so twisted around. So,
(11:54):
you know, normally we have dinner or lunch together on Tuesday,
that's the meal, and she thought it was Monday, so
she didn't eat, and I didn't eat, and I didn't
tell her. Of course I didn't say anything. Yeah, because
I was like, oh, this is great, this is I
can do a super long fast enough, she's not gonna notice.
She's gonna go to work all night. And then yeah,
(12:15):
and it worked out perfectly. That's good because you guys
have some awesome you guys have some quirky hours. So yeah,
that makes perfect sense. We're both we're both working overnight.
But she's working, Um, she's at the police station, so
she's got to go down there and do the nine
one one thing. And but she she goes in earlier
and then um, you know, when she goes in, I
start getting ready for the show and all that. But
she's there long long, you know, police long shifts. Yeah.
(12:38):
That's part of the reason why I feel like there's
a good connection with it with me and your wife
is because we actually drive to work to do our work.
Like we go, we go the Human the Human Dynamo.
David guess right, let me let me give you some
crocodile tears. Here, can I you want some crocodile tears.
I'll give you some crocodile tears if you want. I
(12:59):
got plenty of them. Yeah. Fox Sports Radio has the
best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of
our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within
the I Heart Radio app search f s R to
listen Live Good eight seven hours is that's strong man's
proud of it. But you know, and I might go
(13:20):
the next couple of days just to one meal a day,
you know, kind of get my body back a little bit,
and then uh then get back next week to a
to a long one. Now, there are parts of your
day though that you feel a little bit agony, right,
Like there's that hump that you need to get over
for like an hour or maybe a couple of hours. Yeah.
Usually for me, I've noticed it's somewhere around like the
(13:42):
twenty hour mark. And then it's kind of like your
stomach is kind of like talking to you, like, hey,
give me, give me a piece of pizza, give me
a cheese cheese steak, you know. But then after that
you kind of calm down and as one of my
My philosophy is on life, his mind over matter. If
if you don't mind, it don't matter, right, So if
(14:04):
you know, just kind of keep powering through and all
that and uh, and so that's what I've I've tried
to do. But so as do you have a target
weight now that you have in mind? No? I I I.
My wife's like, hey, you're too skinny and all that stuff.
I know I'm fat. You know I'm fat. I'm so fat.
I uh, you know, once you get in the fight
(14:24):
the fat mindset, you don't know this guess come, but
once you get become that was fat for most of
my life. Like, yeah, I always I think of myself
as I think I'm like eight pounds. I'm not. I've
lost a lot of weight and I'm probably not that
far away from my target weight. But I don't want
to stop. I'm a little worried. I I probably should.
At some point. I'm just gonna have to stop doing
these long fast and just eat one meal a day,
(14:46):
and then I think that'll be fine. That kind of
leveled off, maybe even two meals some days, you know.
And but I'm not at that point yet. I'm not
at that point yet. And then I'm I'm always paranoid.
Like when you lose weight, you get new clothes, and
then you gain the weight back, and then you get
the old close back, and then you got rid of them,
and then it's like this yo yo type thing that happens,
which is a which is a pain in the ask,
(15:07):
But there are worse problems there. Yeah, of course, and
there's plenty of upside of losing that weight for obviously
initial health and health down the road too. So yeah,
you hope, you hope, but you know, hell knows anyway.
All right, So we have pop quiz here, guest gun,
enough about me, Not that I wouldn't like to make
this all about me. I know that's a guest gun
playbook type move, but you know I was exciting to
(15:29):
congratulate you. The next thing I didn't say was I
want to know what your b M. I was your
body mass index? So I think we can talk about
that next go down. Maybe we could talk about that
over some steak and whiskey. How about that? There? You
go there, who doesn't need steak? And yes, you don't
need to bang on the table. We'll need to bang
on the table. A little frustrated with you. Yeah, all right,
(15:51):
pop quiz, I will quiz guest. Go on, here we go,
and you can play along the whole way. This bit works.
Not to be some kind of charlatan. We just want
you to pretend that you are answering the question and
then you can. Don't do anything devious. Don't pause it
and then google the answer because I think it's hard
to find these answers. I think I don't know, maybe
maybe they're easy to find. All right, anyway, here it
is so. This nineteen eighties video game was based on
(16:15):
a popular movie. It was so bad. How bad was
it that thousands of unsold and return copies were buried
out in the desert. They expected this to be a
massive hit, and it was terrible. I played the game,
but I don't know if it was. Um, this is
(16:37):
a famous story. This is one. If you ever know
what I'm talking about, you would remember. It was an
abject failure, man utter incompetence. The people that made the
video game, they were out worked and destroyed. Well I
was gonna say Jaws, but it's not Jaws. No, No,
it's it's not. It is not just this. Let me
(16:57):
give you a clue here there's a couple of things
in this this movie that that stood out. There was
a type of candy and a famous scene with a bicycle. Yeah,
look at you. You got that about that? You remember
(17:17):
remember the scene with the bicycle and the et was
in the front there and and then and it wasn't
Eminem's was supposed to be. They wanted Eminem's, but Eminem's
didn't want to be in it, right, it wasn't that,
so they went with the other the competitor there and
what so long ago it is. I know it's a
long time ago, but Reese's Pieces, like you know, I was,
(17:41):
it might have been alive. But if I was alive,
as I might remember, I might not remember. I recall
the the we all want to eat Reese's Pieces, because really,
I want to be like that in the movie, you know,
we want to be eating the Reese's Pieces and all that.
Great great product placement, great product placement. One of the
first that really nailed product placement was E. T. The Extraterrestrial,
(18:02):
but not the video game. Not the video game, because
that was crummy and it was a rinky dink operation.
All right. Only nine of couples say their partner never
does it never, meaning that the vast majority say this happened.
What is it? Um cooks them dinner? Uh, So you
(18:23):
think that not only nine never cook the other person dinner.
I think that's much higher than that. But I'm gonna
say you're wrong, and I'm gonna tell you the right
answer is that they steal the blankets or covers. This
is a big problem. It does take place in the
Mallard mansion. Not gonna lie to you. And you don't
have to worry about this, guest. It's one benefit of
(18:44):
being a bachelors. You do not have to worry. Well,
I guess maybe occasionally when you're in a booty call
or something like that, but but other than that, you
don't have to worry. You get all the covers. Yeah,
but I'm a light sleeper, Like I don't sleep with
a ton of covers. I have a sheet and that's it.
Like I I my engine runs pretty hot. I'm never
you know, in a day with sheets and covers and
the whole nine yards. Well, I also as men were
(19:06):
warm blooded, and women generally are more warm blooded than women.
But I also have warm blooded But I like it's
weird because I like the feeling of the comfort of covers.
But I don't like getting hot, so I like to
make it as cold. It's like an ice box when
I'm sleeping, So that way I can have a couple
of blankets on top there because I like it. But
(19:26):
then it's I still get hot and I have to
take them off eventually because it gets too hot in
the middle of the night, or at our case, the
middle of the day, because sleep during the day, and
it really gets hot in the middle of the day.
All right, especially this time of the year. Of people
have been mad at someone for this what is it?
Uh um, hanging up on them? Hung up? No, this
(19:53):
is this is even more crazy because it's not something
the person actually did. People have been mad at another
person because of something that that person did in a dream.
In a dream. Now, this has never happened. If I
don't dream very much, I'm not a dreamer. I don't
get to that deep enough stage of sleep. I I
(20:13):
am a terrible sleep right, blame my parents. Um, so
I don't really and plus I don't remember. Most people
don't remember their dreams more than five minutes after they
wake up. My wife, though, she remembers all day, her dreams.
So are you a Are you a dreamer? I am
at times, but man, I dream a lot about my
past for some reason, like either events or people regret regrets. Yeah,
(20:37):
that's too and and there or is the old Bruce
Springsteen sun Glory Days or any know, flash back to
your high school football days and so you know, wasn't
Meg Ryan and that in that video and Glory Dance?
I don't know. I don't remember the video I forget,
but yeah I do. There are sometimes that. Yeah, when
people pop up in my dreams, I wake up piste off, Yeah,
(20:58):
like why are you? Why are you in this dream?
I haven't taught to you, haven't thought about you in
the longest of time, And then they'll pop up and
get One of the cool things though about dreams is
when you lose somebody close to you and they're alive
in your dream. That's kind of cool. That's like they're
back alive, you know. I was like, that's kind of neat,
you know, it's like you can come back from the dead,
you're you're in the dream. That's that's a neat thing,
little sentimental and soft about you. Man, that's kind of
(21:21):
and also wholeish at the same time because dead people
coming back a cob all right. Only a third of
Americans say they don't bother, Actually not only about a
third of Americans say they don't bother to buy this
because it's too expensive. About a but a fire extinguisher.
(21:46):
That is incorrect. The correct answer is fruit. Fruit is
food is not that expens depending on what you get,
but it's usually pretty cheap. The only thing that really
prices up Kiwi's and Easonel blueberries. But you can get
like a watermelon five bucks and that thing old. I mean,
(22:06):
depending on how big it is, You're You're good. That's
a lot of you know, it's water pretty much just
water mixed in but anyway, all right, that's why they
call it water. A survey asked what's your favorite childhood
summertime activity? And spending time with friends was number on.
(22:28):
What was number two? Uh, camping kind of I feel
like this is related to number one. Number two was bond. Well,
you grew up west of the four or you probably
a lot of bonfires. Your silver spoon existing is born
on third base. You probably had that. I did not.
(22:50):
I did not have a lot of bonfires growing. It's
one thing to be born on third base. It's another
thing to scores. Either way, you're scoring. So yeah, let
me tell you because when you're west of the four
or five, you got sealed each you got Bolsa Chica Beach,
you got Malibu, you got Santa Monica, you got Venice
like you got all these wonderful places west of the
flour five that you don't have when you're closer to
(23:10):
Arizona than I am. So yeah, during the summertime, even
during the fall and early winter, you can go out
there and have a bonfire, some s'mores. You know, you
can grill up whatever you want. Uh, it's it's good times. Ben.
I thoroughly encourage you to do it at least once
in your life. Yeah. Right now, you're gonna leave California
like Joe Rogan, are you gonna take off? I saw
if I had that kind of bank roll, I would
(23:31):
definitely consider it. Consider Where would you go? Woud you go?
He's going to Austin? I don't. I don't know if
he's going to Austin, but I would go to Scottort Yes,
Newport Newport Beach. People, Well, if I made a lot
of money, if I really like they treated me well,
and I gave me like ridiculous radio money. I would
move to Florida because that's the for tax reasons. I
(23:53):
guess Texas also, but Florida. They always tell you financially,
to save your money, go to Florida. Yeah, but see here.
The thing is that you would have to get up
and go over so often because the hurricane season. That's fine.
If I had a lot of money, you know whatever,
it would be good getting gig insurance. And you know, now,
is there any particular spot because Florida is obviously a
big state with So would you rather be like in St.
(24:15):
Pete Tampa or do you want to be in Miami
the Keys? Uh? You know, I've been. I was there
when the Dodgers said a spring training in Florida for
the Grapefruit League. So I've been around a little bit.
I haven't spent any time in the Tampa area, so
I don't really know the Tampa area that well. I've
been to Orlando and all along the what do they
call it the Gold Coast, I think they call it.
(24:37):
They're a Florida Vero Beach and in towns Jupiter, in
those places down to Miami and I've spent some time
in Miami. I actually wonder like across the state, like
Fort Myers, that area on the other side. Uh, I've
heard some good things about that. Oh you know. The
one that would be really cool be kind of like
(24:57):
living in Hawaii or something. Then would be the Florida Keys. Yeah,
that would be like the end of the world. That's
where people go kind of get away. And I've seen
the photo we have. We've had some listeners Malamosha guys
that worked at hotels there and send me emails. We
were pen pals. Uh not anymore. But forty keys would
(25:19):
be pretty cool. That's that's about at the end of
the road, I say, you know as uh as Kyrie
Irving would say, that's the end of the flag. That's
that's right there. Anyway, like what we got carried away,
we started with bonfires and we ended up talking about
moving to Florida. Be sure to catch live editions of
The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
pm Pacific. Okay, only twelve percent of women. As we
(25:42):
continue pop quiz, only twelve percent of women say they've
done this since the pandemic started. Shaved the only thing
funny than that would have been taken a shower. And
(26:06):
uh no, the answer is where high heels, which makes sense. Right,
you're not going out, you know, you go to out,
you go out to impress. Most women go out to
where high heel still look good and impress men and
other women, right, but you're not really there's no need
to impress anybody, uh for a zoom call or a video.
And you know it's just the makes sense. Some women
(26:27):
that are tall were high heels just so they can
kind of exert that that that the dominance over men.
Inner Amazon, Yes, all right, since people have been quarantined.
Here's another question similarly that because people have been quarantining
because of the pandemic, sales of this particular product are
way down. Oh um, dude, that's a good question. Um,
(26:52):
way down. Can't be alcohol, and it can't be cigarettes.
This is an item that is usually found in the bathroom,
something something you use. Most people use this deodorant. Yes,
deodorant sales have gone on the toilet. You own stock
(27:12):
and deodorant companies. People aren't buying deodorant because hey, my
arm pits stink. Who cares, I'm not around anybody. I
can smell all I want. That's true. That's true. It's
pretty interesting. It is alright. Moms do this when punishing
their kids. My mom is in this may she rest
in peace. Slap their kids, slap their kids corporal punishment,
(27:41):
your mom beat up as a kid gets kicked by
my parents. I only had it happened a couple of times.
But I can still close my eyes and feel the belt.
I can still feel. And the cool thing is they
only had to happen one time, and the rest of
my childhood I learned my life just the you're mentioned of, Hey,
(28:01):
you're you know when you're dad, My dad at that
time was working outside me. When your dad comes home,
He's gonna take the belt, you know what. I'm like,
Oh my god, that was it. Yeah, that was it.
Whatever I was doing, I stopped doing. But now of
mothers do this when punishing their kids. Use the child's
full name, us, the middle name, and the full first name,
and that is a dagger to the heart of a kid.
(28:24):
You know you have fucked up? You know are you?
You are now a sworn enemy of your parents, that
you are a low life in the eyes of your mom.
If if she uses your first middle and your fur
full first name middle name. Oh my god, my mom.
When my mom did that, I knew I had stepped
(28:44):
in it. I knew it. Now did that? Did that
happen or does that happen to you nowadays? Not like
obviously getting busted, but like when men call you, do
men call you Mallard? Or do they call you Ben? Oh?
The worst is like when people call me sometimes Mr.
Mat Oh my god, I feel a thousand years old
when they when that happens. Uh, that's that's the one
(29:07):
that really gets under me. The Mr Maller. No, no,
don't do that. No, please stop. I don't want to
hear that. I'm not a Mr. I don't know that
will ever be a Mr. Mr Mr Maybe anyway, Yeah
that would. But you think mom's like there's like a
mom's secret mom club and they all tell each other
all right when your kid acts up? Used the first
(29:28):
full first name, full obviously middle name, and then last name.
But that's what I was curious about, because like people
call me by my men call me by my last name,
and women call me by my first name. Oh okay,
yeah I call you, Yeah, I call you guest gun yeah,
gage females, David, it's not something curious about because you
(29:48):
mentioned it, like, yeah, yeah, I'm usually I think I'm
more of a last name guy. I usually. That's that's
just how I do it with people. If you have
a good if you're last name is like Smith or
something something in Jerich, I don't really do it. But
if you have an interesting last name, all like Tom Looney.
I talked to a lot Looney, you know, but that's Looney.
(30:10):
You know, That's that's how you do it. Yeah. Then
that guy leaklined we had in the podcast, I just
go prints of darkness. That's what I just do that.
And the hacks off we had on I just say, haxhall, Yeah,
that's it. I don't lee or whatever. You all right
of us say that we have done this before going
into the grocery store. Um eating, no taking up two
(30:34):
parking spaces and a lot. Come on, who does that?
Na kettle? One of those guys. When I go to
the grocery store, I park furthest away from most of
the traffic. And that's because you get jackasses that will
take their cards and never put them back into the
(30:57):
into the car. The areas. Oh yeah, you're blaming of people.
Saw my fault. It's other people's fault. Explain to you
the time at work, back before the pandemic, when you
parked your car taking up three spaces. Explain that one.
First of all, it was two spaces, and so that
was the time you parked in three space. And second
of all, I'm I'm still the one that's driving to work,
(31:19):
So I don't think you should be taking shots at
the Here we go again. Let me get my crocodile
to drive driving shed. Those crocodiles drive at least seventy
five miles to and from work. So I love Gascono.
Questioning the parking lot pot calling the kettle back black.
Is that's that? That's what that is right, and not
to go racist with any of this, so I appreciate it.
(31:40):
Get away from that. Wow, I don't know what you're
talking about. I'm a big fan of drinking tea, and uh,
I've been a teetotaler for many many You don't drink tea.
I do when I when I have when I get sick,
and you know how sometimes I get laryngitis, and I
the only you know that I've got a problem with
my voice when I drink tea to try to baby
my voice. I don't even know if it works. I thought,
(32:02):
you go garlic. I do, but but sometimes before the
garlic if I don't, If I'm at work and I
can't have the garlic with me, I'll I'll drink tea.
But I've been I've been healthier than ever since. I
don't leave my house just amazing a lot I haven't.
I haven't had any I might not get a cold
(32:23):
this year or anything, because I'm just good to go.
Not seven percent of us eat at least two meals
a day in this particular manner. Do do do in
this these two meals? Like there's something about with our
hands no utensils? All right, you're going caveman style? Uh No,
(32:48):
the correct answer is on paper plates. Really, now, I
when I was a bachelor, there was I usually just
ate out, and when I ate it games because I
was going to games every night. But the times the
teams were on the road and there were no games
to go to and cover, I had paper plates. And
I I went to Smart and Final and bought like
(33:08):
a big thing, like you know, seven paper plates, and
that thing lasted me. I lived by myself and I
obviously it lasted me for years. I had paper plates
and I did most of my meals. I ate at
the original Mallard mansion was just a small apartment in Hollywood.
I ate off paper plates. Yeah, that's so, that's true.
You're your West of the four or five, so you
(33:30):
probably have a fine china. I don't think there's anything
wrong with having plates that you can wash and reuse
and wash and reuse again. I kind of go from
start to finish. I don't like to damage the environment. So,
oh yeah, I think environmentalists you think, yeah, I guess
you and AOC are right at the top of the list. There.
The world's gonna end in ten years, guests got science, science,
(33:56):
No nobody ten years from now. We'll look back at
that when it doesn't end. But anyway, percent of us
that drive have done this at some point in our
driving career. What's what what total pop quiz? We have
(34:17):
driven on our destination with a flat tire. That's a
good one, and I've done that with the air. You're
kind of really bad and it's you know, you shouldn't
be on the driving that's not it though. This involves
the gas station you've gone to the gas station, you
filled up the gas tank, and then you drive off
without replacing the gas cap. Yeah. Now the other thing,
(34:40):
and I've never had this happen, but I have seen
videos on the internet which blows me away when people
leave the gas station and still have the pump in
the in the car and they and the gas stations
have that, which is kind of cool. They have that
breakaway you know too, where you drive away it snaps
off and then you have to pay money to get
it replaced. But but I've done that. I I have
with the gas station, you know, the gas cap not on.
(35:03):
And the problem is the car that I have now,
the Mallard Mobile. It's really it's been good because it's
taught me to tell I have to lock the gas
cap because it's it's some weird thing where if you
start the car and the gas cap is not fully locked,
you have to click it. Then there's a warning light
that comes on on the dashboard and you can't get
rid of the warning light until you go to the mechanic.
(35:25):
There's something like it messes up something in the engine.
So it's, uh, I gotta I gotta make sure that
I haven't I haven't done that. While it's a very
bougie European car years that's kind of what happens with
those things in electronics, so understandable. Understand I don't have
a car that's worth as much as you. But but
that's fine, all right. The nine seven Ford f one,
(35:45):
speaking of cars, appears to be the last American vehicle
to offer this feature. Um not available, not available, Yeah,
the last one. Last lasting moans can't be diesel fuel?
Um can't be it to it? No, man, I don't know.
(36:08):
I'm stumped on this one. Vent windows. They had the
nine f one fifty head Vent windows. You can go
on YouTube right now and there's there's the videos on
how to like repair the vent windows which apparently have
fallen apart. Obviously, cars for twenty plus years old at
this point, and uh so, yeah, that was last the
last one. Be sure to catch live editions of the
(36:29):
Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
This is what I think we've had before, but maybe not.
There's a study out recently that shows that almost sevent
of those participating in work conference calls do it from
this particular room, uh bedroom, no bath bathroom. I was
(36:50):
gonna say the bathroom. One in six participating in work
conference calls are on the toilet. Man. I don't know
how they get away with it, because the acoustics and
the like. You'd get that giant echoes, so people ceiling, Yeah,
the tile floors usually that's a good point. All right.
So that's it for popuas. Let's do a few study
this and we'll we'll do be or not to be
(37:10):
in tomorrow's podcast because because the time reasons, right, I
think we have enough time for a few study this,
all right, So what a waste? The average American waste
over five hundred plus dollars on uneaten fruit every year.
This is according to a new I believe that. Yeah,
(37:32):
it could be more than that. I'm guilty of this.
But blackberries, that's racist. Blackberries, bananas and and sometimes apples
I get away from and blackberries go they get bad
really quick. The smartest fruit, I'm gonna tell you the
smartest fruit right now, This is mallard logic. The smartest
(37:52):
fruit is the banana, because the banana tells you it's
going bad, and then you can make banana bread. Yes, right,
that's the smartest fruit. The other fruits need to learn
that so they're not wasted. Right, It's harder to detect
when the other fruits go bad and you can't really tell,
but the banana you absolutely can tell. Yeah, that's good.
(38:13):
It's a good choice. I h it's a multipurpose fruit too.
I mean you can put that in banana split. You
can obviously have it in a shake, and you have
independently you put in cereal. You could have banana chips.
It's pretty good. All right. Well, here's a myth busting
new study that has just come to my attention here
at Gascon. This comes out of London, and there was
(38:35):
a study done at the college there in London, and
they have concluded that you know that that that thing.
When I was a kid, this was a big deal.
You know, if you if you put your kids in music,
music makes you smarter. If you learn music, right, if
you learn how to play the piano and some kind
of musical instrument, you are smarter. Well, a new study
(38:57):
has declared that teaching music with the sole intent of
enhancing a child's cognitive or academic skills is pointless. They
concluded researchers from not only England in London, but also
in Japan, concluded that music lessons do not offer any
benefits regarding a child's cognitive skills or grades in school.
(39:22):
It's interesting because there's no there's no correlation. And I
always read that with certain studies that if you studied
with the music on a certain beat would be oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
well I I with classical music, like That's what I'll
do sometimes because then I also feel like I'm in
a movie when you put classical music on the fine
(39:43):
you know, it's kind of calm, Yeah, little Mozart or
something like that, And I'll do that sometimes. No do
a lot, but occasionally a little background noise. I did it.
I did it quite a bit over the last couple
of months. Because there's no games to watch. I usually
by my office I have in the studio here that
I'm doing the show from. I have TV right here
and I have the games on usually, but if there's
no games, you know, it's some noise. I'll put on
(40:04):
the background music. But there you go. So this is important.
If any of our younger listeners, the kids are listening
and their parents are forcing them to take music, say hey,
listen I'm not getting smarter. It's pointless. Now that said,
I do think it's kind of cool to learn to
play a musical instrument. I'm kind of jealous, like I
didn't really I knew the player how to play the
piano kinda not really, but like if you know how
(40:26):
to sing or like Jay Scoop, like I got Jay
Scoop and see how this guy knows how to sing
and play musical instruments and all that, it's great. Plus
if you're a single guy, is there. I mean, that's
one of the ways to really razzle dazzle little ladies
right through the through the eyes of music. But what
are you going? Are you going guitar? Are you going? Drums?
Are you going? Piano? Isn't the one? The guitar would
(40:50):
be the one that it's the most effective, I would think, right, yeah,
I think the least effective's gonna be bagpipes. Pipes has
got to be the least. And then yeah, I think
guitar is good. Piano. If you want to get a cougar,
the cougars are coming, The cougars are coming. Yeah, And
then I think I think that was a commercial gues
(41:12):
scout before you were at Fox Sports Radio. Well, no,
we had Cougar Love, didn't we No, we had Cougar
Life was the website they were. They were one of
my biggest sponsors. They bought it. They had a big
ad by and they got some venture capitals. I remember, Man,
I'm wrong, but they got some venture capital and they
bought the crap out of overnight ads on Fox and
it was so the commercial was so over the top
(41:33):
that Julio was my producer at the time and we
we we took all these clips from them. It was
so ridiculous. The cougars are coming, the cougars are coming,
and it was like a guy in a bullhorn and
uh it was. It was hilarious. Yeah, it was so.
It was so. I love some of the commercials we get.
An overnight s Cowhert doesn't have to do. We had
the Prey dot com ad by a Cup for a
(41:55):
couple of weeks, which was I loved. I thought it
was great. Galile in this bedtime Bible stories and I was, well,
I was wonderful. I thought it was a great I
love unique radio commercials. We don't get a lot of them,
and when we do. I I am a big fan
of them. I think it's cool. Yeah, no, it definitely is.
All right. Here we go another study, well, the power
(42:18):
of the Internet gascon and this is not surprising. I
believe this one. I don't think this is bullshit. I
think this is weird. Just a few bad online reviews
can mean the end of a restaurant. New research has
shown that how negative postings on you know, Yelp and
those kind of sites can can force businesses to just
(42:39):
go under. Popular restaurants get even more popular, and restaurants
with some initial low ratings end up getting more and
more bad, bad ratings and then it affects business. Is
from Ohio State University. I believe this now. I I
think a lot of those reviews are bullshit, and when
I don't put much to locking them. My wife though
(43:02):
again it's like the seventh reference to my but she
when we're deciding, like we'll be traveling up the coast
in California, going, you know, going up to this we
were lately we've been going to central California, which is
kind of cool. There's not many people there. It's deserted,
it's it's neat, like San Louis, abys Ball that area.
It's a cool place to hang out. So we'll go
up there and we don't know any of the restaurants,
and so we'll be like, all right, She'll go on
(43:23):
her phone and try to find a restaurant, and she
will not go to a place that has bad reviews.
But if it has really good reviews, she's, oh, that's cool,
there's got great reviews. And I always say, well, it's
probably you know, I can't trust those people. But but
it doesn't affect initial low ratings. Does H doesn't delivery
body blow to H to the restaurant. Yeah. Some of
(43:44):
the spots that I've been to remember, like back in
the day going to Belmont Shore when some of the
restaurants were opening, they would actually ask you to give
them a Yelp review before they offered you dessert, or
while they are waiting to get you to your dessert. Okay,
so they'd asked for they'd asked for some kind of
reviewer rating, and then on top of that, if you
(44:05):
did tag them in it, then they give you a
discount your bill. Oh interesting kind we do when this ends,
we have to go to that that one pizza place,
that pizza porn place. You keep sending me in Chicago
pizza place. That looks amazing, That looks good. That's man,
Give me some of that. Give me some of that pizza, man. Yeah,
(44:27):
the meat Lovers is I think fifty five minutes to make,
and then I think just straight cheese is like forty five.
But the Deep Dish, yeah, it takes a little while
to get done. That's that's solid. I've never had Deep
Dish Chicago pizza up until like a year ago, two
years ago, I think within the last couple years. I
forget when I loved it. Oh, I thought when I
(44:49):
first saw it, I was like, oh, this is crap,
you know, because they put the tomato sauce on top
and everything's backwards. But they really nailed at those people
from Chicago to right. All right. Be sure to catch
live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and
(45:09):
the I Heart Radio app. Uh. Here's an here's a
fun story. I guess on depression may have caused a
woman to believe she was a chicken. Did you see
did you see this story? You did? Not? All? Right? Good?
This story has been making the rounds and uh, you
(45:32):
always you hear these kind of anecdotal stories like and
you think, well, could this ever happen to me? But
when life gets tough and you're in a bad spot,
people have interesting ways of dealing with it. And you know,
this is kind of related to depression. There's two hundred
and sixty million people worldwide they estimate suffer from depression.
(45:54):
Is very serious thing if you suffer it, and it's
very sad. People have lost their lives and fallen victim
to depression and it sucks when it happens. And I
think we all get a little depressed from time to time.
I think that's just part of being alive. But anyway, so, uh,
this is in the Dutch Medical journal. This comes from US.
A fifty four year old woman unnamed of course for
obvious reasons. Uh. She was found in her garden clucking
(46:17):
and crowing like a rooster. This is actual condition. It's
called oh I don't know how. It says z O
A and t h R O p Y, otherwise known
as the delusion or behaving oneself is not a believing
oneself is not human but animal man. But that that's
pretty good. Yeah. They described the woman as being disoriented
(46:41):
during the examination, while also reporting an unfamiliar sensation in
her limbs as if they were not fit for her body,
and she flapped uncontrollably. That's pretty wild. Oh my god.
And there's no photos of her. I have not if
there are, I didn't really I did not find any photo.
But shift four years old, so she's, you know, kind
(47:01):
of the back not in the middle life, not really old,
but kind of that transition from midlife to old life.
And uh, that's what happens. Yeah, like that that that
one is odd. And then you these weird glitches in
our in our bodies, like the stories of people going
to sleep and waking up and learning a language they
never knew were speaking in um An accent that they
(47:25):
never spoken before. That stuff is like, what the fund
do we have? It makes you wonder if we have
all of this ship in our heads and it's just
like it's buried somewhere in there, and then some something
goes wrong, something goes hey wire, and then it all
comes out or some of it comes out, you know,
alternate programming. Yeah, we don't maximize it, but we got
the capacity for it. Yeah, because they've said that we
(47:48):
don't use a lot of our brain. You wonder what
the rest of the brain has. What if it has
all this other crap in there and we just you know,
knowing how to tap it. So so, being a radio
blow hard, would you rather have a different accent or
would you rather know another language? Oh? I'd like to
know another language. I think it would be cool. Um,
you know, living in California, Los Angeles, if I knew
(48:09):
how to speak Spanish, I think that would be I know,
I know Spanglish, yeah, but I don't really know Spanish,
or going like going to Italy and being able to
speak the native tong Italian, you know, that would be cool. Yeah,
but I do know how to speak Canadian. God. Hey.
But imagine though, if you're in l A as a
national host and you have a British or Australian accent,
(48:31):
you could be so condescending. The people that actually hate
you might just love you because your accent. Oh. Yeah,
there was a guy when I was growing up, there
was a guy in l A radio named Michael Jackson,
not the musician, but you know, so Michael Jackson had
this thick British accent and he was on KBC in
Los Angeles and it was a big station at the time,
(48:52):
was in the number one station, and whatever he said
sounded authoritarian and like he sounded knowledgeable. But I don't
think he probably was that knowledgeable. He just sounded sounded knowledgeable,
you know, because he's because of the accent. But another
thing is that when I when I first got into radio,
I recall there were a lot of sports stations because
w f A was very successful with Chris Russo and Francessa,
(49:16):
Mike and the Mad Dog, and so they would just
hire guys that had thick New York accents, thinking that's
all you had to have to be good at sports radio,
and so so like every like in you know, Phoenix, Portland's, Seattle, Dallas,
you know, all these guys with these New York accents
were getting these these drivetime shows because he's dopey consultant.
So well, yeah, it's working in New York, so maybe
(49:36):
you need the New York accent. That'll yeah, that's good. Yeah,
be be relatable. Well this is right up your alley
west of the four oh five gasc. We have time
for a couple more here. Uh. The headline on this
pleasure yourself Heatonism is the key to living a happier life.
According to a new say, this is really what you're
(49:58):
all about, your your you're a heatonist, is what you
you'd admit that. I can appreciate that. And what do
they say that that you sleep better? You sleep better
when you sleep naked, like, you get into ram faster
and you stay in ram longer when you sleep sound
like sound like a hippie? Sound like hippy? Researchers in
Europe say if you have a lot of self control,
(50:19):
it might be time to rethink your life. A new
study finds people who take the time for hedonism are
living happier lives and suffer less depression. That's good you're
a fan of because because it agrees with your beliefs, variety,
it is a spice of life. Ben Mallory, University of
Zurich UH. They new new study out says they believe
(50:42):
you know self control is vital to having a successful life.
It helps prioritize your long term goals, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
But the new research argues seeking pleasure and self indulgence
positively impacts your well being. Are you that's what weekends
are for? Aren't there. I don't know. I worked the weekends.
(51:04):
I couldn't speak intelligently with that playing the victor over
the bottom of the deck. He plays the victor hey
man when I I used to because there's so many
reality TV shows out there now, but one of my
favorite was a show called Temptation Island, and I think
it was on Fox, but those that didn't watch it,
it was basically, you had like ten couples and they
(51:28):
need to have ten single women ten single men. Obviously,
everyone was like, great looking, you're all on an island.
And they'd split the men up with the single women
and the women up with the single men to see
if they had succumbed to their temptations. And a buddy
of mine who was, you know, very very straight down
the middle, like very conservative, very monotone, he'd love the
(51:53):
show and I had never seen him get geeked up
for a show in my entire life like this. And
then I watched, I was like, this is just fucking amazing.
Is you just see these couples that all of a
sudden they're having a great time and then they see
this video in a cam quarter of the significant other
other having a better time because he's grinding on some
girl or she's grinding on some dude, and they just
(52:13):
look devastated. It's just it's amazing, you know, because they
see what we see, we see what they see, and
it's just instant boom. Now did this friend of yours
did he go like Petros? And do I know you're
a big fan of Petros? Did he do those like
Bachelor reviews on the show, on his own show or
any No, No, I'm telling you this guy was like.
This guy was strictly he's an accountant. He's very very
(52:36):
like I don't want to say, he's definitely not outgoing.
Is it very much like an introvert um. But he
did two amazing things. That was the great the show
that he picked I I loved, And um he actually
met his his wife to be at a nightclub. It
was pretty wild, like those two things definitely out of
(52:56):
the scope for him. Alright, last one on study this
here we go living dangerously. I mean, let me turn
this into a pop quiz question. Blank, percent of adults
still don't wash their hands after using public bathrooms, even
though we will have a pandemic, which thecentage of adults
do you think leave the toilet and do not wash
(53:17):
their hands. I'm gonna say this is high. I'm gonna
say it's like, that's way too high. According to this,
twelve percent of adults still don't wash their hands after
using the public bathrooms. Now they expell my theory on
this guest. Count. All right, here's my theory. All right,
if I don't touch the toilet and I don't touch
the junk, I don't wash the hands. That's my theory.
(53:39):
Meaning if I go up to a urinal, I'm the
only one in the bathroom. I go up to a urinal,
and obviously you wouldn't be flushing. But if I don't
touch anything, then why do you need to wash your hands? Well,
for a couple of a couple of different reasons, you're not.
You're not. It's not like it's not like Chinese water
torture where you're just urinating drops. You know, you're spraying right,
(54:03):
speak for yourself. I mean some of us have a
good stream going. I mean, I gotta I gott a
very healthy stream. It's it's very clear, it's very hydrated.
But I'm still I'm still firing away. So that's gonna
bounce right off the urinal. You're worried about the blowback.
You're worried about the blowback and all that. Some people
wash your fucking hands, dude, I'm worried about the environment
(54:27):
I want. And it was, well, I don't do it
all the time. Occasionally I happens. I usually watched my
Mainly I watched my hands because I touching the door
is disgusting. And that's the worst because people, you know,
other people don't you know, they wipe their ass and
walk out of there. All right, that's it, thank you
have a one on that note. Good night, everybody. You know.
(54:47):
I have a wonderful rest of your day. Today. We'll
be back on Sunday. We're gonna have be or not
to be. We get the mail back, some really good questions, Hopeully.
We'll get to a lot of those email questions and
Facebook questions and we'll have that. But have a great
day to day. Remember Cameo dot come you want a
personal video message, love to help you out, send me
a note on there and we'll take care of you
and have a great day.
Bo. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere the
vast and ever expanding Fox Sports Radio Empire. But this
is a podcast on the I Heart Podcast network. As
we are bloviating the weekend away. Now this podcast makes
it eight days a week. This is the Saturday Podcast,
(00:45):
because four hours on the overnight during the week each
night are not enough. And we are back at its
slaving away over the hot microphones here yet again, joined
by the very polarizing the lightning Rod, the troll Will
Maker David Gascon. You don't need to do that. You
(01:12):
don't need to do that just checking us sea or
not splitting at them here, Ben, But we are splitting stocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's uh. You know, you've gotten to an age where
you're you're now really keeping an eye on the stock market,
and you're like, okay, let's see, how can I make
some money here? How can I how can I figure
out how to beat the system? It's it's legalized gambling, right,
(01:35):
That's exactly what it is. It is the government. It's
taboo in a lot of It was taboo for a
long time to put a bet down like on the Bengals.
You know, you couldn't do that. We should never been
on the bank with anybody but just an NFL team.
But then like all of a sudden, like hey, now,
but gambling, betting on a company to make it is fine.
Betting on a sports team to do something that you
can't do that. But now now fortunately that's turned around
(01:57):
a little bit and the people have embraced They've made
a deal with the devil and they've embraced that. But yeah,
the stock market interesting up and down, roller coaster, roller coaster.
So uh. We had Coatino Mobley on yesterday's podcast. Catino
former Clipper legend and now working at Fox Sports Radio,
and and oh that was good to talk to Coatino
(02:20):
and get his thoughts on the NBA coming back, and
I loved what he said. My favorite part of that
was when he talked about the Rockets and why it
didn't work when they had Barkley, Pippen and Elijahan and
his other all. Barkley was eight hundred pounds or whatever,
Elijahlan was forty, and you know Pippen was you know,
the ho they gave the whole thing. Yeah, it just
made me because part of the thing that you asked
him too was just the state of the game. And
(02:43):
and I asked about the product of it, and you know,
he said it candily. He'd be lighting it up nowadays
if he was playing in this era. And it makes
me think of quarterbacks from years past, like Elway and
Marino and Jim Kelly and Joe Montana. They have some
gaudy numbers in the NFL now if they were a
lot of playing today's game. Well, yeah, I mean just
because defensively, you're in basketball, you're not allowed to play defense. Really,
(03:07):
the hand check that was like the last the last frontier.
Once they got rid of the hand check out of
the NBA, it was it was on like Donkey Kong,
you could do whatever the hell you wanted now in basketball.
And but Catino Mobile in particular, I mean, he he
was his game was like today's players, but they didn't
let him usually, you know, do a lot of that
stuff because because of you know, coaches trying to play
(03:30):
it my way. Now, now my way is the way
that Katino he would be perving for him with the
with the win the game is anyway. All right, So
today's podcast, we've got the fastest man in the room.
All right, you ready for that. You don't know what
that is. That's a little surprised they're the fastest man
in the room. We have pop quiz as well. Study
(03:52):
this is also on the agenda, study slash survey. This
mostly study this this weekend and probably do be or
not to be, depending on the time, and then we'll
have If we don't do it today, we'll have it
for the Sunday one, and then we also have the
mail bag on Sunday. I'm good with that. There's a
lot of people that actually like the B or not
(04:14):
the BE, So it's I don't think that's true. I
think it is what I get in random d m
s about stories that were just posted. I'm like, hold on,
hold on, I can't I can't see these, I can't
look at these, and I can't be tempted to send
them to you because then obviously you'll know the the oh,
so you now this is good. So the be or
not to be is forcing you to not send me
(04:35):
every story on the Babylon BE. I like that. So
that's good because there was a period where all you
would do anytime they posted something new over there, you
would send me the most trusted name in fake news. Well,
there's my hope that one day you would read it
and take it as gospel and as truth, and maybe
(04:55):
you stumble upon it on air or while you're on
air and then just read it verbatim like it's truth. Now,
you don't know. There's a rumor going around that you
know somebody at the Babylon B. That's why you love
it so much, But you you don't, Is that true?
You know? Do you have a friend there? No? No,
I do not. That's unfortunate. I have connected a few
times with one of the guys that runs Freezing Cold Takes,
(05:18):
which is the social media handle forgot oh you have Yeah, yeah,
yeah that guy. You guys a loser, he's good. Um.
I have not connected with anyone from Babylon B or
the Onion. Um, those are those are great spots. Man
Like satire is a lost art in today's world, especially
because people get so triggered on certain ship Yeah boom,
(05:39):
just like that. Yeah all right, you know this the
people to your show, some of the people who work
on the show. It's it's that's just the way it is.
I mean, I I understand. It's the way of the world.
I get it, all right. So let's get going on
this fastest man in the room. All right. Now, you
probably think I'm going one direction, but I'm gonna zig
and I'm gonna zag is what I'm gonna do. I
(06:00):
I don't like to pat myself on the back. That's
more your thing. Gascon. But uh, while being peppered with
photos of fried chicken sandwiches and piles of fries and
four pattied triple double cheese burgers, uh and getting chili
cheese fries photos sent my way, Well, all that was
(06:23):
going on. The fastest man in the room, not the
fastest in the foot race. But when it comes to
not eating, when being dedicated to the fasting lifestyle, that
is a ding ding ding ding ding, that is a
winner in in my department, I completed. I've been fasting
for a couple of years. It's it's my thing, it's
my michigas. But I completed now the second longest fast
(06:47):
I have ever been a party two uh in my
fasting period of my life. And I tweeted to you
and I believe you call me a fucking idiot. I
believe is what you called me. But I I fasted
for eighty seven hours in twenty five minutes. Uh, the
(07:10):
from Saturday night to Wednesday, I did not, did not eat,
did not didn't he have. Yeah, I can't hear you, bag,
because you've got a thousand people of calling you an
(07:31):
asshole right now. No, I don't know why. Why would
I be calling it? Says, it's just showing you willpower, dedication,
and grit. When my person I do a podcast with
is openly trying to distract me and sending me pictures
of chocolate chip cookies, chewy chocolate chip cookies and all
these other things, I mean, it's just it's just not well,
hold on, hold on. First of all, we even had
(07:53):
this conversation last week with Dave Rubin, like some of
the finer spots or spots that we'd like to go
to here in l A and particularly Mexican food, we
haven't had that for the longest of times. So you know,
you look at pictures and you know it's something you
want to get, right, cheese fries. Yeah, but this like
five nights a week you, I mean, look at some
(08:14):
pretty girls or something like what are you doing? Yeah,
I mean most people go on Instagram and look at
booty models. You go on there to look at big
baskets of cookies. But what's wrong with you? I do both.
I can't send those to you. You're married, You're happily married.
So it's you know, I can't do that. You know,
let's send those to the rest of my friends that
I connected. So I'm out of the loop because I'm married.
I don't get to look at beautiful people. What's up
(08:35):
with that? No, you you're not at the loop. It's
just you go down that path. So I'm on the
food I'm on the food I'm on the food list,
but not the Oh my god. Yes, I think it's
only fair right now. You get you get food and
you get Babylon be that's what you get there you
go fun fact, by the way, guests got the eight
seven hour, five minute fast and I complete it. This week.
(08:58):
I was able to work out every day. Yeah, Well,
I mean I went, I went on long walks and
Hunter dwree weather, So I consider that a workout. Uh
you know it's five six seven mile walks or whatever,
so that's to me, that's a workout. And then because
I'm not going back to the gym, certain unless they
go back to the way they were, which I doubt
that will happen, but maybe it will. Um, so I
(09:19):
was able to work out. And then this is the
second longest. The longest fast I've ever had was a
little over ninety hours, and that was only because I
was in the hospital and I had my gall bladder
taken out and they would not let me eat solid
foods or any food for that matter. Uh. I just
know I was on a water a regiment, which is
(09:41):
why I normally do anyway. But when I came in,
I didn't eat it for like two days. When I
went to the hospital and they were like, all right,
you can't eat for another you know, cup until we
have operation or whatever. And so I I was unable
to eat. And then the other fast I had it
was really long, was I was in Boston doing stuff
for w E I, and I was just I was
doing the what was it seven eight hours of radio
(10:01):
a day because I was doing the three or four
hour EI show and then I had the overnight show
that I had to do, so I had no time
to eat, so I just didn't eat. And my wife
wasn't there to force me to eat, so I just
did not eat most of I finally broke it, like
the next to last day. I was in Boston for
the entire week, and I I finally just said, I
got and I like a whole pizza. I like an
(10:23):
entire pizza by myself in the hotel room that was
pre pandemic. I could have gone out, but I just
stayed in the hotel and made the whole damn pizza
in with it. But I loved it. Now, did you not?
Did you cap off this last fast by having a
nice two and a half pound Tomahawks steak? You know,
that's a great question, guess, and I'm gonna I'm gonna
refrain from answering that right now. I'm gonna refrain from
(10:45):
answering that right now. I mean maybe I'll get do
it in a future podcast. You know, I really appreciate
it if you could answer it now, Like that's that's
kind of what I'm It's all about you. You're trying
to make it all about No, I'm not trying to
make it about me. Yeah, all about you was about you.
It was for you, and it was like five months ago,
so it wasn't five months ago, and it's it's it's
(11:06):
right now, paused. The steak is paused in the freezer.
It paused, and I will thaw the steak out and
I will have here's the problem. You know, you should
do you play my wife because every weekend when I
plan on having a nice barbecue, she's like, all right,
we're gonna go on a road trip up Highway one
through California because not everything's closed, or we're gonna, you know,
go go somewhere, go swimming at our my in laws pool,
(11:31):
you know, my father in law's pool, whatever, So that
kind of stuff on the weekends. But uh, the reason
I was able this is great too. The reason I
was able to pull off an eighty seven hour fast
this week is because my wife was so busy with
work she forgot what day of the week it was.
And I normally eat on Tuesdays. The day I eat,
she thought Tuesday was Monday. She was so twisted around. So,
(11:54):
you know, normally we have dinner or lunch together on Tuesday,
that's the meal, and she thought it was Monday, so
she didn't eat, and I didn't eat, and I didn't
tell her. Of course I didn't say anything. Yeah, because
I was like, oh, this is great, this is I
can do a super long fast enough, she's not gonna notice.
She's gonna go to work all night. And then yeah,
(12:15):
and it worked out perfectly. That's good because you guys
have some awesome you guys have some quirky hours. So yeah,
that makes perfect sense. We're both we're both working overnight.
But she's working, Um, she's at the police station, so
she's got to go down there and do the nine
one one thing. And but she she goes in earlier
and then um, you know, when she goes in, I
start getting ready for the show and all that. But
she's there long long, you know, police long shifts. Yeah.
(12:38):
That's part of the reason why I feel like there's
a good connection with it with me and your wife
is because we actually drive to work to do our work.
Like we go, we go the Human the Human Dynamo.
David guess right, let me let me give you some
crocodile tears. Here, can I you want some crocodile tears.
I'll give you some crocodile tears if you want. I
(12:59):
got plenty of them. Yeah. Fox Sports Radio has the
best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of
our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within
the I Heart Radio app search f s R to
listen Live Good eight seven hours is that's strong man's
proud of it. But you know, and I might go
(13:20):
the next couple of days just to one meal a day,
you know, kind of get my body back a little bit,
and then uh then get back next week to a
to a long one. Now, there are parts of your
day though that you feel a little bit agony, right,
Like there's that hump that you need to get over
for like an hour or maybe a couple of hours. Yeah.
Usually for me, I've noticed it's somewhere around like the
(13:42):
twenty hour mark. And then it's kind of like your
stomach is kind of like talking to you, like, hey,
give me, give me a piece of pizza, give me
a cheese cheese steak, you know. But then after that
you kind of calm down and as one of my
My philosophy is on life, his mind over matter. If
if you don't mind, it don't matter, right, So if
(14:04):
you know, just kind of keep powering through and all
that and uh, and so that's what I've I've tried
to do. But so as do you have a target
weight now that you have in mind? No? I I I.
My wife's like, hey, you're too skinny and all that stuff.
I know I'm fat. You know I'm fat. I'm so fat.
I uh, you know, once you get in the fight
(14:24):
the fat mindset, you don't know this guess come, but
once you get become that was fat for most of
my life. Like, yeah, I always I think of myself
as I think I'm like eight pounds. I'm not. I've
lost a lot of weight and I'm probably not that
far away from my target weight. But I don't want
to stop. I'm a little worried. I I probably should.
At some point. I'm just gonna have to stop doing
these long fast and just eat one meal a day,
(14:46):
and then I think that'll be fine. That kind of
leveled off, maybe even two meals some days, you know.
And but I'm not at that point yet. I'm not
at that point yet. And then I'm I'm always paranoid.
Like when you lose weight, you get new clothes, and
then you gain the weight back, and then you get
the old close back, and then you got rid of them,
and then it's like this yo yo type thing that happens,
which is a which is a pain in the ask,
(15:07):
But there are worse problems there. Yeah, of course, and
there's plenty of upside of losing that weight for obviously
initial health and health down the road too. So yeah,
you hope, you hope, but you know, hell knows anyway.
All right, So we have pop quiz here, guest gun,
enough about me, Not that I wouldn't like to make
this all about me. I know that's a guest gun
playbook type move, but you know I was exciting to
(15:29):
congratulate you. The next thing I didn't say was I
want to know what your b M. I was your
body mass index? So I think we can talk about
that next go down. Maybe we could talk about that
over some steak and whiskey. How about that? There? You
go there, who doesn't need steak? And yes, you don't
need to bang on the table. We'll need to bang
on the table. A little frustrated with you. Yeah, all right,
(15:51):
pop quiz, I will quiz guest. Go on, here we go,
and you can play along the whole way. This bit works.
Not to be some kind of charlatan. We just want
you to pretend that you are answering the question and
then you can. Don't do anything devious. Don't pause it
and then google the answer because I think it's hard
to find these answers. I think I don't know, maybe
maybe they're easy to find. All right, anyway, here it
is so. This nineteen eighties video game was based on
(16:15):
a popular movie. It was so bad. How bad was
it that thousands of unsold and return copies were buried
out in the desert. They expected this to be a
massive hit, and it was terrible. I played the game,
but I don't know if it was. Um, this is
(16:37):
a famous story. This is one. If you ever know
what I'm talking about, you would remember. It was an
abject failure, man utter incompetence. The people that made the
video game, they were out worked and destroyed. Well I
was gonna say Jaws, but it's not Jaws. No, No,
it's it's not. It is not just this. Let me
(16:57):
give you a clue here there's a couple of things
in this this movie that that stood out. There was
a type of candy and a famous scene with a bicycle. Yeah,
look at you. You got that about that? You remember
(17:17):
remember the scene with the bicycle and the et was
in the front there and and then and it wasn't
Eminem's was supposed to be. They wanted Eminem's, but Eminem's
didn't want to be in it, right, it wasn't that,
so they went with the other the competitor there and
what so long ago it is. I know it's a
long time ago, but Reese's Pieces, like you know, I was,
(17:41):
it might have been alive. But if I was alive,
as I might remember, I might not remember. I recall
the the we all want to eat Reese's Pieces, because really,
I want to be like that in the movie, you know,
we want to be eating the Reese's Pieces and all that.
Great great product placement, great product placement. One of the
first that really nailed product placement was E. T. The Extraterrestrial,
(18:02):
but not the video game. Not the video game, because
that was crummy and it was a rinky dink operation.
All right. Only nine of couples say their partner never
does it never, meaning that the vast majority say this happened.
What is it? Um cooks them dinner? Uh, So you
(18:23):
think that not only nine never cook the other person dinner.
I think that's much higher than that. But I'm gonna
say you're wrong, and I'm gonna tell you the right
answer is that they steal the blankets or covers. This
is a big problem. It does take place in the
Mallard mansion. Not gonna lie to you. And you don't
have to worry about this, guest. It's one benefit of
(18:44):
being a bachelors. You do not have to worry. Well,
I guess maybe occasionally when you're in a booty call
or something like that, but but other than that, you
don't have to worry. You get all the covers. Yeah,
but I'm a light sleeper, Like I don't sleep with
a ton of covers. I have a sheet and that's it.
Like I I my engine runs pretty hot. I'm never
you know, in a day with sheets and covers and
the whole nine yards. Well, I also as men were
(19:06):
warm blooded, and women generally are more warm blooded than women.
But I also have warm blooded But I like it's
weird because I like the feeling of the comfort of covers.
But I don't like getting hot, so I like to
make it as cold. It's like an ice box when
I'm sleeping, So that way I can have a couple
of blankets on top there because I like it. But
(19:26):
then it's I still get hot and I have to
take them off eventually because it gets too hot in
the middle of the night, or at our case, the
middle of the day, because sleep during the day, and
it really gets hot in the middle of the day.
All right, especially this time of the year. Of people
have been mad at someone for this what is it?
Uh um, hanging up on them? Hung up? No, this
(19:53):
is this is even more crazy because it's not something
the person actually did. People have been mad at another
person because of something that that person did in a dream.
In a dream. Now, this has never happened. If I
don't dream very much, I'm not a dreamer. I don't
get to that deep enough stage of sleep. I I
(20:13):
am a terrible sleep right, blame my parents. Um, so
I don't really and plus I don't remember. Most people
don't remember their dreams more than five minutes after they
wake up. My wife, though, she remembers all day, her dreams.
So are you a Are you a dreamer? I am
at times, but man, I dream a lot about my
past for some reason, like either events or people regret regrets. Yeah,
(20:37):
that's too and and there or is the old Bruce
Springsteen sun Glory Days or any know, flash back to
your high school football days and so you know, wasn't
Meg Ryan and that in that video and Glory Dance?
I don't know. I don't remember the video I forget,
but yeah I do. There are sometimes that. Yeah, when
people pop up in my dreams, I wake up piste off, Yeah,
(20:58):
like why are you? Why are you in this dream?
I haven't taught to you, haven't thought about you in
the longest of time, And then they'll pop up and
get One of the cool things though about dreams is
when you lose somebody close to you and they're alive
in your dream. That's kind of cool. That's like they're
back alive, you know. I was like, that's kind of neat,
you know, it's like you can come back from the dead,
you're you're in the dream. That's that's a neat thing,
little sentimental and soft about you. Man, that's kind of
(21:21):
and also wholeish at the same time because dead people
coming back a cob all right. Only a third of
Americans say they don't bother, Actually not only about a
third of Americans say they don't bother to buy this
because it's too expensive. About a but a fire extinguisher.
(21:46):
That is incorrect. The correct answer is fruit. Fruit is
food is not that expens depending on what you get,
but it's usually pretty cheap. The only thing that really
prices up Kiwi's and Easonel blueberries. But you can get
like a watermelon five bucks and that thing old. I mean,
(22:06):
depending on how big it is, You're You're good. That's
a lot of you know, it's water pretty much just
water mixed in but anyway, all right, that's why they
call it water. A survey asked what's your favorite childhood
summertime activity? And spending time with friends was number on.
(22:28):
What was number two? Uh, camping kind of I feel
like this is related to number one. Number two was bond. Well,
you grew up west of the four or you probably
a lot of bonfires. Your silver spoon existing is born
on third base. You probably had that. I did not.
(22:50):
I did not have a lot of bonfires growing. It's
one thing to be born on third base. It's another
thing to scores. Either way, you're scoring. So yeah, let
me tell you because when you're west of the four
or five, you got sealed each you got Bolsa Chica Beach,
you got Malibu, you got Santa Monica, you got Venice
like you got all these wonderful places west of the
flour five that you don't have when you're closer to
(23:10):
Arizona than I am. So yeah, during the summertime, even
during the fall and early winter, you can go out
there and have a bonfire, some s'mores. You know, you
can grill up whatever you want. Uh, it's it's good times. Ben.
I thoroughly encourage you to do it at least once
in your life. Yeah. Right now, you're gonna leave California
like Joe Rogan, are you gonna take off? I saw
if I had that kind of bank roll, I would
(23:31):
definitely consider it. Consider Where would you go? Woud you go?
He's going to Austin? I don't. I don't know if
he's going to Austin, but I would go to Scottort Yes,
Newport Newport Beach. People, Well, if I made a lot
of money, if I really like they treated me well,
and I gave me like ridiculous radio money. I would
move to Florida because that's the for tax reasons. I
(23:53):
guess Texas also, but Florida. They always tell you financially,
to save your money, go to Florida. Yeah, but see here.
The thing is that you would have to get up
and go over so often because the hurricane season. That's fine.
If I had a lot of money, you know whatever,
it would be good getting gig insurance. And you know, now,
is there any particular spot because Florida is obviously a
big state with So would you rather be like in St.
(24:15):
Pete Tampa or do you want to be in Miami
the Keys? Uh? You know, I've been. I was there
when the Dodgers said a spring training in Florida for
the Grapefruit League. So I've been around a little bit.
I haven't spent any time in the Tampa area, so
I don't really know the Tampa area that well. I've
been to Orlando and all along the what do they
call it the Gold Coast, I think they call it.
(24:37):
They're a Florida Vero Beach and in towns Jupiter, in
those places down to Miami and I've spent some time
in Miami. I actually wonder like across the state, like
Fort Myers, that area on the other side. Uh, I've
heard some good things about that. Oh you know. The
one that would be really cool be kind of like
(24:57):
living in Hawaii or something. Then would be the Florida Keys. Yeah,
that would be like the end of the world. That's
where people go kind of get away. And I've seen
the photo we have. We've had some listeners Malamosha guys
that worked at hotels there and send me emails. We
were pen pals. Uh not anymore. But forty keys would
(25:19):
be pretty cool. That's that's about at the end of
the road, I say, you know as uh as Kyrie
Irving would say, that's the end of the flag. That's
that's right there. Anyway, like what we got carried away,
we started with bonfires and we ended up talking about
moving to Florida. Be sure to catch live editions of
The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
pm Pacific. Okay, only twelve percent of women. As we
(25:42):
continue pop quiz, only twelve percent of women say they've
done this since the pandemic started. Shaved the only thing
funny than that would have been taken a shower. And
(26:06):
uh no, the answer is where high heels, which makes sense. Right,
you're not going out, you know, you go to out,
you go out to impress. Most women go out to
where high heel still look good and impress men and
other women, right, but you're not really there's no need
to impress anybody, uh for a zoom call or a video.
And you know it's just the makes sense. Some women
(26:27):
that are tall were high heels just so they can
kind of exert that that that the dominance over men.
Inner Amazon, Yes, all right, since people have been quarantined.
Here's another question similarly that because people have been quarantining
because of the pandemic, sales of this particular product are
way down. Oh um, dude, that's a good question. Um,
(26:52):
way down. Can't be alcohol, and it can't be cigarettes.
This is an item that is usually found in the bathroom,
something something you use. Most people use this deodorant. Yes,
deodorant sales have gone on the toilet. You own stock
(27:12):
and deodorant companies. People aren't buying deodorant because hey, my
arm pits stink. Who cares, I'm not around anybody. I
can smell all I want. That's true. That's true. It's
pretty interesting. It is alright. Moms do this when punishing
their kids. My mom is in this may she rest
in peace. Slap their kids, slap their kids corporal punishment,
(27:41):
your mom beat up as a kid gets kicked by
my parents. I only had it happened a couple of times.
But I can still close my eyes and feel the belt.
I can still feel. And the cool thing is they
only had to happen one time, and the rest of
my childhood I learned my life just the you're mentioned of, Hey,
(28:01):
you're you know when you're dad, My dad at that
time was working outside me. When your dad comes home,
He's gonna take the belt, you know what. I'm like,
Oh my god, that was it. Yeah, that was it.
Whatever I was doing, I stopped doing. But now of
mothers do this when punishing their kids. Use the child's
full name, us, the middle name, and the full first name,
and that is a dagger to the heart of a kid.
(28:24):
You know you have fucked up? You know are you?
You are now a sworn enemy of your parents, that
you are a low life in the eyes of your mom.
If if she uses your first middle and your fur
full first name middle name. Oh my god, my mom.
When my mom did that, I knew I had stepped
(28:44):
in it. I knew it. Now did that? Did that
happen or does that happen to you nowadays? Not like
obviously getting busted, but like when men call you, do
men call you Mallard? Or do they call you Ben? Oh?
The worst is like when people call me sometimes Mr.
Mat Oh my god, I feel a thousand years old
when they when that happens. Uh, that's that's the one
(29:07):
that really gets under me. The Mr Maller. No, no,
don't do that. No, please stop. I don't want to
hear that. I'm not a Mr. I don't know that
will ever be a Mr. Mr Mr Maybe anyway, Yeah
that would. But you think mom's like there's like a
mom's secret mom club and they all tell each other
all right when your kid acts up? Used the first
(29:28):
full first name, full obviously middle name, and then last name.
But that's what I was curious about, because like people
call me by my men call me by my last name,
and women call me by my first name. Oh okay,
yeah I call you, Yeah, I call you guest gun yeah,
gage females, David, it's not something curious about because you
(29:48):
mentioned it, like, yeah, yeah, I'm usually I think I'm
more of a last name guy. I usually. That's that's
just how I do it with people. If you have
a good if you're last name is like Smith or
something something in Jerich, I don't really do it. But
if you have an interesting last name, all like Tom Looney.
I talked to a lot Looney, you know, but that's Looney.
(30:10):
You know, That's that's how you do it. Yeah. Then
that guy leaklined we had in the podcast, I just
go prints of darkness. That's what I just do that.
And the hacks off we had on I just say, haxhall, Yeah,
that's it. I don't lee or whatever. You all right
of us say that we have done this before going
into the grocery store. Um eating, no taking up two
(30:34):
parking spaces and a lot. Come on, who does that?
Na kettle? One of those guys. When I go to
the grocery store, I park furthest away from most of
the traffic. And that's because you get jackasses that will
take their cards and never put them back into the
(30:57):
into the car. The areas. Oh yeah, you're blaming of people.
Saw my fault. It's other people's fault. Explain to you
the time at work, back before the pandemic, when you
parked your car taking up three spaces. Explain that one.
First of all, it was two spaces, and so that
was the time you parked in three space. And second
of all, I'm I'm still the one that's driving to work,
(31:19):
So I don't think you should be taking shots at
the Here we go again. Let me get my crocodile
to drive driving shed. Those crocodiles drive at least seventy
five miles to and from work. So I love Gascono.
Questioning the parking lot pot calling the kettle back black.
Is that's that? That's what that is right, and not
to go racist with any of this, so I appreciate it.
(31:40):
Get away from that. Wow, I don't know what you're
talking about. I'm a big fan of drinking tea, and uh,
I've been a teetotaler for many many You don't drink tea.
I do when I when I have when I get sick,
and you know how sometimes I get laryngitis, and I
the only you know that I've got a problem with
my voice when I drink tea to try to baby
my voice. I don't even know if it works. I thought,
(32:02):
you go garlic. I do, but but sometimes before the
garlic if I don't, If I'm at work and I
can't have the garlic with me, I'll I'll drink tea.
But I've been I've been healthier than ever since. I
don't leave my house just amazing a lot I haven't.
I haven't had any I might not get a cold
(32:23):
this year or anything, because I'm just good to go.
Not seven percent of us eat at least two meals
a day in this particular manner. Do do do in
this these two meals? Like there's something about with our
hands no utensils? All right, you're going caveman style? Uh No,
(32:48):
the correct answer is on paper plates. Really, now, I
when I was a bachelor, there was I usually just
ate out, and when I ate it games because I
was going to games every night. But the times the
teams were on the road and there were no games
to go to and cover, I had paper plates. And
I I went to Smart and Final and bought like
(33:08):
a big thing, like you know, seven paper plates, and
that thing lasted me. I lived by myself and I
obviously it lasted me for years. I had paper plates
and I did most of my meals. I ate at
the original Mallard mansion was just a small apartment in Hollywood.
I ate off paper plates. Yeah, that's so, that's true.
You're your West of the four or five, so you
(33:30):
probably have a fine china. I don't think there's anything
wrong with having plates that you can wash and reuse
and wash and reuse again. I kind of go from
start to finish. I don't like to damage the environment. So,
oh yeah, I think environmentalists you think, yeah, I guess
you and AOC are right at the top of the list. There.
The world's gonna end in ten years, guests got science, science,
(33:56):
No nobody ten years from now. We'll look back at
that when it doesn't end. But anyway, percent of us
that drive have done this at some point in our
driving career. What's what what total pop quiz? We have
(34:17):
driven on our destination with a flat tire. That's a
good one, and I've done that with the air. You're
kind of really bad and it's you know, you shouldn't
be on the driving that's not it though. This involves
the gas station you've gone to the gas station, you
filled up the gas tank, and then you drive off
without replacing the gas cap. Yeah. Now the other thing,
(34:40):
and I've never had this happen, but I have seen
videos on the internet which blows me away when people
leave the gas station and still have the pump in
the in the car and they and the gas stations
have that, which is kind of cool. They have that
breakaway you know too, where you drive away it snaps
off and then you have to pay money to get
it replaced. But but I've done that. I I have
with the gas station, you know, the gas cap not on.
(35:03):
And the problem is the car that I have now,
the Mallard Mobile. It's really it's been good because it's
taught me to tell I have to lock the gas
cap because it's it's some weird thing where if you
start the car and the gas cap is not fully locked,
you have to click it. Then there's a warning light
that comes on on the dashboard and you can't get
rid of the warning light until you go to the mechanic.
(35:25):
There's something like it messes up something in the engine.
So it's, uh, I gotta I gotta make sure that
I haven't I haven't done that. While it's a very
bougie European car years that's kind of what happens with
those things in electronics, so understandable. Understand I don't have
a car that's worth as much as you. But but
that's fine, all right. The nine seven Ford f one,
(35:45):
speaking of cars, appears to be the last American vehicle
to offer this feature. Um not available, not available, Yeah,
the last one. Last lasting moans can't be diesel fuel?
Um can't be it to it? No, man, I don't know.
(36:08):
I'm stumped on this one. Vent windows. They had the
nine f one fifty head Vent windows. You can go
on YouTube right now and there's there's the videos on
how to like repair the vent windows which apparently have
fallen apart. Obviously, cars for twenty plus years old at
this point, and uh so, yeah, that was last the
last one. Be sure to catch live editions of the
(36:29):
Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
This is what I think we've had before, but maybe not.
There's a study out recently that shows that almost sevent
of those participating in work conference calls do it from
this particular room, uh bedroom, no bath bathroom. I was
(36:50):
gonna say the bathroom. One in six participating in work
conference calls are on the toilet. Man. I don't know
how they get away with it, because the acoustics and
the like. You'd get that giant echoes, so people ceiling, Yeah,
the tile floors usually that's a good point. All right.
So that's it for popuas. Let's do a few study
this and we'll we'll do be or not to be
(37:10):
in tomorrow's podcast because because the time reasons, right, I
think we have enough time for a few study this,
all right, So what a waste? The average American waste
over five hundred plus dollars on uneaten fruit every year.
This is according to a new I believe that. Yeah,
(37:32):
it could be more than that. I'm guilty of this.
But blackberries, that's racist. Blackberries, bananas and and sometimes apples
I get away from and blackberries go they get bad
really quick. The smartest fruit, I'm gonna tell you the
smartest fruit right now, This is mallard logic. The smartest
(37:52):
fruit is the banana, because the banana tells you it's
going bad, and then you can make banana bread. Yes, right,
that's the smartest fruit. The other fruits need to learn
that so they're not wasted. Right, It's harder to detect
when the other fruits go bad and you can't really tell,
but the banana you absolutely can tell. Yeah, that's good.
(38:13):
It's a good choice. I h it's a multipurpose fruit too.
I mean you can put that in banana split. You
can obviously have it in a shake, and you have
independently you put in cereal. You could have banana chips.
It's pretty good. All right. Well, here's a myth busting
new study that has just come to my attention here
at Gascon. This comes out of London, and there was
(38:35):
a study done at the college there in London, and
they have concluded that you know that that that thing.
When I was a kid, this was a big deal.
You know, if you if you put your kids in music,
music makes you smarter. If you learn music, right, if
you learn how to play the piano and some kind
of musical instrument, you are smarter. Well, a new study
(38:57):
has declared that teaching music with the sole intent of
enhancing a child's cognitive or academic skills is pointless. They
concluded researchers from not only England in London, but also
in Japan, concluded that music lessons do not offer any
benefits regarding a child's cognitive skills or grades in school.
(39:22):
It's interesting because there's no there's no correlation. And I
always read that with certain studies that if you studied
with the music on a certain beat would be oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
well I I with classical music, like That's what I'll
do sometimes because then I also feel like I'm in
a movie when you put classical music on the fine
(39:43):
you know, it's kind of calm, Yeah, little Mozart or
something like that, And I'll do that sometimes. No do
a lot, but occasionally a little background noise. I did it.
I did it quite a bit over the last couple
of months. Because there's no games to watch. I usually
by my office I have in the studio here that
I'm doing the show from. I have TV right here
and I have the games on usually, but if there's
no games, you know, it's some noise. I'll put on
(40:04):
the background music. But there you go. So this is important.
If any of our younger listeners, the kids are listening
and their parents are forcing them to take music, say hey,
listen I'm not getting smarter. It's pointless. Now that said,
I do think it's kind of cool to learn to
play a musical instrument. I'm kind of jealous, like I
didn't really I knew the player how to play the
piano kinda not really, but like if you know how
(40:26):
to sing or like Jay Scoop, like I got Jay
Scoop and see how this guy knows how to sing
and play musical instruments and all that, it's great. Plus
if you're a single guy, is there. I mean, that's
one of the ways to really razzle dazzle little ladies
right through the through the eyes of music. But what
are you going? Are you going guitar? Are you going? Drums?
Are you going? Piano? Isn't the one? The guitar would
(40:50):
be the one that it's the most effective, I would think, right, yeah,
I think the least effective's gonna be bagpipes. Pipes has
got to be the least. And then yeah, I think
guitar is good. Piano. If you want to get a cougar,
the cougars are coming, The cougars are coming. Yeah, And
then I think I think that was a commercial gues
(41:12):
scout before you were at Fox Sports Radio. Well, no,
we had Cougar Love, didn't we No, we had Cougar
Life was the website they were. They were one of
my biggest sponsors. They bought it. They had a big
ad by and they got some venture capitals. I remember, Man,
I'm wrong, but they got some venture capital and they
bought the crap out of overnight ads on Fox and
it was so the commercial was so over the top
(41:33):
that Julio was my producer at the time and we
we we took all these clips from them. It was
so ridiculous. The cougars are coming, the cougars are coming,
and it was like a guy in a bullhorn and
uh it was. It was hilarious. Yeah, it was so.
It was so. I love some of the commercials we get.
An overnight s Cowhert doesn't have to do. We had
the Prey dot com ad by a Cup for a
(41:55):
couple of weeks, which was I loved. I thought it
was great. Galile in this bedtime Bible stories and I was, well,
I was wonderful. I thought it was a great I
love unique radio commercials. We don't get a lot of them,
and when we do. I I am a big fan
of them. I think it's cool. Yeah, no, it definitely is.
All right. Here we go another study, well, the power
(42:18):
of the Internet gascon and this is not surprising. I
believe this one. I don't think this is bullshit. I
think this is weird. Just a few bad online reviews
can mean the end of a restaurant. New research has
shown that how negative postings on you know, Yelp and
those kind of sites can can force businesses to just
(42:39):
go under. Popular restaurants get even more popular, and restaurants
with some initial low ratings end up getting more and
more bad, bad ratings and then it affects business. Is
from Ohio State University. I believe this now. I I
think a lot of those reviews are bullshit, and when
I don't put much to locking them. My wife though
(43:02):
again it's like the seventh reference to my but she
when we're deciding, like we'll be traveling up the coast
in California, going, you know, going up to this we
were lately we've been going to central California, which is
kind of cool. There's not many people there. It's deserted,
it's it's neat, like San Louis, abys Ball that area.
It's a cool place to hang out. So we'll go
up there and we don't know any of the restaurants,
and so we'll be like, all right, She'll go on
(43:23):
her phone and try to find a restaurant, and she
will not go to a place that has bad reviews.
But if it has really good reviews, she's, oh, that's cool,
there's got great reviews. And I always say, well, it's
probably you know, I can't trust those people. But but
it doesn't affect initial low ratings. Does H doesn't delivery
body blow to H to the restaurant. Yeah. Some of
(43:44):
the spots that I've been to remember, like back in
the day going to Belmont Shore when some of the
restaurants were opening, they would actually ask you to give
them a Yelp review before they offered you dessert, or
while they are waiting to get you to your dessert. Okay,
so they'd asked for they'd asked for some kind of
reviewer rating, and then on top of that, if you
(44:05):
did tag them in it, then they give you a
discount your bill. Oh interesting kind we do when this ends,
we have to go to that that one pizza place,
that pizza porn place. You keep sending me in Chicago
pizza place. That looks amazing, That looks good. That's man,
Give me some of that. Give me some of that pizza, man. Yeah,
(44:27):
the meat Lovers is I think fifty five minutes to make,
and then I think just straight cheese is like forty five.
But the Deep Dish, yeah, it takes a little while
to get done. That's that's solid. I've never had Deep
Dish Chicago pizza up until like a year ago, two
years ago, I think within the last couple years. I
forget when I loved it. Oh, I thought when I
(44:49):
first saw it, I was like, oh, this is crap,
you know, because they put the tomato sauce on top
and everything's backwards. But they really nailed at those people
from Chicago to right. All right. Be sure to catch
live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and
(45:09):
the I Heart Radio app. Uh. Here's an here's a
fun story. I guess on depression may have caused a
woman to believe she was a chicken. Did you see
did you see this story? You did? Not? All? Right? Good?
This story has been making the rounds and uh, you
(45:32):
always you hear these kind of anecdotal stories like and
you think, well, could this ever happen to me? But
when life gets tough and you're in a bad spot,
people have interesting ways of dealing with it. And you know,
this is kind of related to depression. There's two hundred
and sixty million people worldwide they estimate suffer from depression.
(45:54):
Is very serious thing if you suffer it, and it's
very sad. People have lost their lives and fallen victim
to depression and it sucks when it happens. And I
think we all get a little depressed from time to time.
I think that's just part of being alive. But anyway, so, uh,
this is in the Dutch Medical journal. This comes from US.
A fifty four year old woman unnamed of course for
obvious reasons. Uh. She was found in her garden clucking
(46:17):
and crowing like a rooster. This is actual condition. It's
called oh I don't know how. It says z O
A and t h R O p Y, otherwise known
as the delusion or behaving oneself is not a believing
oneself is not human but animal man. But that that's
pretty good. Yeah. They described the woman as being disoriented
(46:41):
during the examination, while also reporting an unfamiliar sensation in
her limbs as if they were not fit for her body,
and she flapped uncontrollably. That's pretty wild. Oh my god.
And there's no photos of her. I have not if
there are, I didn't really I did not find any photo.
But shift four years old, so she's, you know, kind
(47:01):
of the back not in the middle life, not really old,
but kind of that transition from midlife to old life.
And uh, that's what happens. Yeah, like that that that
one is odd. And then you these weird glitches in
our in our bodies, like the stories of people going
to sleep and waking up and learning a language they
never knew were speaking in um An accent that they
(47:25):
never spoken before. That stuff is like, what the fund
do we have? It makes you wonder if we have
all of this ship in our heads and it's just
like it's buried somewhere in there, and then some something
goes wrong, something goes hey wire, and then it all
comes out or some of it comes out, you know,
alternate programming. Yeah, we don't maximize it, but we got
the capacity for it. Yeah, because they've said that we
(47:48):
don't use a lot of our brain. You wonder what
the rest of the brain has. What if it has
all this other crap in there and we just you know,
knowing how to tap it. So so, being a radio
blow hard, would you rather have a different accent or
would you rather know another language? Oh? I'd like to
know another language. I think it would be cool. Um,
you know, living in California, Los Angeles, if I knew
(48:09):
how to speak Spanish, I think that would be I know,
I know Spanglish, yeah, but I don't really know Spanish,
or going like going to Italy and being able to
speak the native tong Italian, you know, that would be cool. Yeah,
but I do know how to speak Canadian. God. Hey.
But imagine though, if you're in l A as a
national host and you have a British or Australian accent,
(48:31):
you could be so condescending. The people that actually hate
you might just love you because your accent. Oh. Yeah,
there was a guy when I was growing up, there
was a guy in l A radio named Michael Jackson,
not the musician, but you know, so Michael Jackson had
this thick British accent and he was on KBC in
Los Angeles and it was a big station at the time,
(48:52):
was in the number one station, and whatever he said
sounded authoritarian and like he sounded knowledgeable. But I don't
think he probably was that knowledgeable. He just sounded sounded knowledgeable,
you know, because he's because of the accent. But another
thing is that when I when I first got into radio,
I recall there were a lot of sports stations because
w f A was very successful with Chris Russo and Francessa,
(49:16):
Mike and the Mad Dog, and so they would just
hire guys that had thick New York accents, thinking that's
all you had to have to be good at sports radio,
and so so like every like in you know, Phoenix, Portland's, Seattle, Dallas,
you know, all these guys with these New York accents
were getting these these drivetime shows because he's dopey consultant.
So well, yeah, it's working in New York, so maybe
(49:36):
you need the New York accent. That'll yeah, that's good. Yeah,
be be relatable. Well this is right up your alley
west of the four oh five gasc. We have time
for a couple more here. Uh. The headline on this
pleasure yourself Heatonism is the key to living a happier life.
According to a new say, this is really what you're
(49:58):
all about, your your you're a heatonist, is what you
you'd admit that. I can appreciate that. And what do
they say that that you sleep better? You sleep better
when you sleep naked, like, you get into ram faster
and you stay in ram longer when you sleep sound
like sound like a hippie? Sound like hippy? Researchers in
Europe say if you have a lot of self control,
(50:19):
it might be time to rethink your life. A new
study finds people who take the time for hedonism are
living happier lives and suffer less depression. That's good you're
a fan of because because it agrees with your beliefs, variety,
it is a spice of life. Ben Mallory, University of
Zurich UH. They new new study out says they believe
(50:42):
you know self control is vital to having a successful life.
It helps prioritize your long term goals, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
But the new research argues seeking pleasure and self indulgence
positively impacts your well being. Are you that's what weekends
are for? Aren't there. I don't know. I worked the weekends.
(51:04):
I couldn't speak intelligently with that playing the victor over
the bottom of the deck. He plays the victor hey
man when I I used to because there's so many
reality TV shows out there now, but one of my
favorite was a show called Temptation Island, and I think
it was on Fox, but those that didn't watch it,
it was basically, you had like ten couples and they
(51:28):
need to have ten single women ten single men. Obviously,
everyone was like, great looking, you're all on an island.
And they'd split the men up with the single women
and the women up with the single men to see
if they had succumbed to their temptations. And a buddy
of mine who was, you know, very very straight down
the middle, like very conservative, very monotone, he'd love the
(51:53):
show and I had never seen him get geeked up
for a show in my entire life like this. And
then I watched, I was like, this is just fucking amazing.
Is you just see these couples that all of a
sudden they're having a great time and then they see
this video in a cam quarter of the significant other
other having a better time because he's grinding on some
girl or she's grinding on some dude, and they just
(52:13):
look devastated. It's just it's amazing, you know, because they
see what we see, we see what they see, and
it's just instant boom. Now did this friend of yours
did he go like Petros? And do I know you're
a big fan of Petros? Did he do those like
Bachelor reviews on the show, on his own show or
any No, No, I'm telling you this guy was like.
This guy was strictly he's an accountant. He's very very
(52:36):
like I don't want to say, he's definitely not outgoing.
Is it very much like an introvert um. But he
did two amazing things. That was the great the show
that he picked I I loved, And um he actually
met his his wife to be at a nightclub. It
was pretty wild, like those two things definitely out of
(52:56):
the scope for him. Alright, last one on study this
here we go living dangerously. I mean, let me turn
this into a pop quiz question. Blank, percent of adults
still don't wash their hands after using public bathrooms, even
though we will have a pandemic, which thecentage of adults
do you think leave the toilet and do not wash
(53:17):
their hands. I'm gonna say this is high. I'm gonna
say it's like, that's way too high. According to this,
twelve percent of adults still don't wash their hands after
using the public bathrooms. Now they expell my theory on
this guest. Count. All right, here's my theory. All right,
if I don't touch the toilet and I don't touch
the junk, I don't wash the hands. That's my theory.
(53:39):
Meaning if I go up to a urinal, I'm the
only one in the bathroom. I go up to a urinal,
and obviously you wouldn't be flushing. But if I don't
touch anything, then why do you need to wash your hands? Well,
for a couple of a couple of different reasons, you're not.
You're not. It's not like it's not like Chinese water
torture where you're just urinating drops. You know, you're spraying right,
(54:03):
speak for yourself. I mean some of us have a
good stream going. I mean, I gotta I gott a
very healthy stream. It's it's very clear, it's very hydrated.
But I'm still I'm still firing away. So that's gonna
bounce right off the urinal. You're worried about the blowback.
You're worried about the blowback and all that. Some people
wash your fucking hands, dude, I'm worried about the environment
(54:27):
I want. And it was, well, I don't do it
all the time. Occasionally I happens. I usually watched my
Mainly I watched my hands because I touching the door
is disgusting. And that's the worst because people, you know,
other people don't you know, they wipe their ass and
walk out of there. All right, that's it, thank you
have a one on that note. Good night, everybody. You know.
(54:47):
I have a wonderful rest of your day. Today. We'll
be back on Sunday. We're gonna have be or not
to be. We get the mail back, some really good questions, Hopeully.
We'll get to a lot of those email questions and
Facebook questions and we'll have that. But have a great
day to day. Remember Cameo dot come you want a
personal video message, love to help you out, send me
a note on there and we'll take care of you
and have a great day.
Host
Ben Maller
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