November 15, 2020 • 45 mins
Piping hot questions from you, the listeners, are brought to the table as the guys close out another weekend.
Subtle notes from a usually rowdy bunch close out another weekend.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific.
If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill
(00:21):
poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Glad to
have you with us year the Sunday edition Sunday Sunday,
Sunday Funday, Funday, fun Day unless it's not. But we
(00:45):
are with you eight days a week, four hours, not
at off on the overnight. Thank you for downloading, Thank
you for subscribing. Five stars, five stars. I know it's
a pain in the ass. It seems ridiculous. Who the
hell reads those reviews on the podcast? It makes no sense,
but trust me, the people in charge, the people that
are holding the strings. Uh, they liked that. They liked
(01:10):
that stuff. So you can check that out again wherever
you get your podcast, but the Apple podcast page, there's
a lot of reviews there, and I saw we had
another five star review, a couple of five star reviews
this last week here. In fact, did you see that
I I was given we were getting a five star
review here because of one thing, and one thing only,
(01:34):
the Iowa Hawkeyes hat that I occasionally wear got five
stars because of that. How about that David gascon By,
I was waiting for his proper introduction because he's west
of the four or five time here is demanding, that
is you demanded. I asked that you concede, and you
bend the knee to me so gently. Ben Mallory j W.
(01:58):
From Austin writes, and he actually reviewed the podcast five stars,
five stars. More podcast gold from Mallard. And then for
some reason you said, gag on. You know, you must
not know how to spell your name. They're kind of
an asshole thing to say. That's a good thing to
say that. I like that. That's Mike North gave you
a wonderful gift. Mike North gave you an amazing nickname,
(02:19):
a glorious nickname, just just outstanding. So thank you guys
for the reviews. I do appreciate. It is a pain
in the ass to do that. And not many people do,
so thank you. It's not that hard. You just want
to listen, you don't want to paint. You could click
(02:40):
a couple of buttons, and I don't know what You're right.
You know, It's like, if you're getting people that click
onto the site to download the audio, they should be
able to write a quick review at least give it
five stars. Well, well, maybe you do that. I don't.
I use a lot of different websites and listen to
different thing I don't review any of them. So I
(03:02):
mean maybe you do. Are you a review guy or
you review guesscon here? Is that your operation there? No,
but I'll give it if it's quick and easy. I'll
give a five star or three star, even a one star.
If it's not good, it's fine, we might click the
star thing. But actually write something though, That's what I'm
talking about. Actually write a review doesn't usually happen. Yeah,
I don't really, but I'm not. I don't subscribe to
(03:24):
many platforms that require a review, like I don't do
that Yelp or anything like that, So it's not good
enough for you to do it. But if you want
other people to do it. But if I'm on Apple
iTunes or something like that. I couldn't do that. Or
if it meant something to a business, a small business,
i'd write a review for the mom and pop podcast
(03:46):
that's competing against big name television people that have podcasts
and have big budgets behind them, like that kind of podcast. No, No,
that's fighting for the same scraps that you know that
the other the other people have an army of people
promoting the podcast, that kind of thing. No, it definitely
would not do that. No, no, no, definitely not. I understand. Yeah,
we've done over a hundred and fifty episodes now at
(04:09):
the Fifth Hour podcast. Did you know that that's fifty
and it's only on the weekends, And originally we're doing
it once a week. It was only on like Friday. Yeah,
so we're up to a hundred and fifty. Now, that's
a lot of that's a lot of effort. That's a
lot of sit ups by you to get up out
of your bed, waddle over to the studio that's like
ten ft away, crack open the mic. I mean, it's
(04:33):
not that easy to carry you on my back. That's
it's hard to do that, but I'm able to pull
it off. Somehow, what is more enjoying? You do? You
enjoyed a burden, by the way, it's it is a burden,
but I don't complain about it. And I come in here.
You've got nothing, You got no, no, I I care
the whole thing. That's a strain. It's not strain. You know,
(04:55):
it's not easy to carry dead weight around, but it
makes you better. It's like I remember reading about Jerry
Rice running up the steps in Malibu in the off
season to get ready for the NFL, you know, because
he made him better and all that he had weights
on his back and and so it's kind of like, yeah,
I gotta wait on my back and you keep going.
You would agree with me that since your days of
(05:17):
becoming a sports talk show host that you have never
ever ever either relied or actually leaned on a co
host or a producer for content. Yes, no, no, that's
not true. I with Looney, I knew that Looney would
would give me something. Okay, that's so that with Looney
(05:37):
it was good. I didn't really have to do as
much prep with Loony everyone else. And I mean, you know,
I love a lot of people I work with. I
love they don't watch sports until they show up to work.
So it's a little difficult to do, you know, a
four hour professional radio show if they don't actually watch
stuff until they show up to work, and they're stunned
when things happened, but they're like, I didn't know that.
I'm like, well, it happened five hours ago. What have
(05:59):
you been doing? To be fair, you and Tom would
yell over each other. That's a little bit different of
a dynamic than you and I have, because I don't
I was aggressive, it was a ledgy. Um, it was good. Yeah,
that doesn't translate to a podcast platform at all. I disagree, Well,
I respectfully disagree. So you would like me to talk
(06:20):
over you and to yell into the microphone at times
if you had a good point. You yet to have one,
But if you had a good point, I'd be fine
with it. I don't put that out. Any point that
I have you gonna say is not a good point,
as long as you can make a counterpoint and talk
over it. You know what, you are a mozart with
at the piano. That's what you want. Okay, you're the
(06:40):
carpenter without tools. I mean, I'll just point that out.
Come on man is that a low blow. I got
my hand is a blow. I got my hands, though
I could. I could do some ship your Picasso without
a brush. Your finger painting is what you're doing there,
That's what you're doing. Yeah, gonna go on and go
on if you can, if you'd like to. It's just
showering me with anti compliments. Yes, no no no no
no no no no no. I am tough love. Remember,
(07:04):
yes makes you better tough love. Right, come on, you did,
you did a great job. You paid off your your
debt last weekend. You went to live on Instagram, which
is great to uh eat. Yes, I ate the bull testicles.
I did, and I got nothing but shipped for it
(07:25):
from the the people I work with, because you didn't
really pay off the bed. You didn't really do it.
It's not it's not Rocky mount noister. Yeah wait, I'm here.
I am. It was Rocky Mountain oyster jerky. So I
bought into it. I bite into it. I'm biting into
a goddamn vain and I've got you know edny. Oh,
(07:48):
it's not really drizz not really real. Oh my god,
it's unreal. And the funny thing is that the the
bull jerky benefactor, a big fan who sent that. I
told this person, I said, listen, um, no matter what
I eat, they are going to So you didn't really
(08:10):
do it, you know, as I could get Rocky Mountain
oysters shipped in from from Denver, if that was a possibility,
I could eat them. And they said, no, you just
ate meat balls, or you didn't do it right. And
so this is you know, it's because of the COVID
thing has been not easy to track down the Rocky
Mountain oysters. This was sent in by a listener. It's
(08:30):
a delicacy from a place called the Rocky Mountain Oyster
Jerky Company. And so I ate it. And these guys
were were They thought it was obscene and I would
try to claim this is actual. It was the same
thing thing, these miserable, downtrodden people who are trying to
bust my balls, and it was disgusting and I will
(08:52):
never do it again. I did it, and that's it.
I had to eat a bunch of candy and I
got a headache from all the sugar. I ate afterwards
to get to the taste out of my mouth. But
but I did actually have an email about that, because
this is the mail. This is the mailbag edition of
the podcast, So we actually have an email about that.
But I did do it. A man of my word.
When I say I'm gonna do something, I do. You
(09:13):
got one, You got one debt paid off, and you
get another one in Oh my god, what I get.
I'll get to that. That's on my list. I'll get there. Yeah,
well I can make a list to You know, there's
people being there's people making lists for all kinds of
things these days. Were you like list radio? You're a
big list radio? Gay you invented list rate for those
(09:33):
who no no guests? God did list radio? Yeah? Thanksgivings
right around the corner. I'm sure that I'll be Uh,
I'll be on a show that's doing list radio. Oh yeah,
who do you want to invite to Thanksgiving dinner? What
is your favorite side dish for Thanksgiving? Who gets the
extra turkey? Leg h? You know Thanksgiving pie that you
(10:02):
can eat? Yes? Yes, exactly? What kind of stuffing do
you like? Your favorite kind of stuffing? Please let us know. Cranberries,
no cranbers, yams with marshmallows, no marshmallows. Please call right
now eight seven seven ninety nine on far How about this,
we'll do something different. How about we do a Thanksgivings draft?
How about that? What's the first pick? Oh, I don't know, Turkey,
(10:27):
maybe not, Maybe it'll be pumpkin pie. Oh my guds,
cheeseball radio. That happens every years. So embarrassing. Our profession
is a joke when people that do this, so lazy.
There's five football game as three football games and Thanksgiving,
let's do it Thanksgiving Day draft? Oh my god, what's
just just that you're admitting you're lazy. You're admitting you
didn't do your job, and these people don't. It's so
(10:50):
dumb that people that do this, they don't even realize
that that's what they're doing. Don't forget what is your
mount rushmore of Thanksgiving dessert entrees, dishes, drinks. That's that's
what we got too. So well, you could You did
this with the election the other day. I heard you
filled in on the weekends and you you said, all right,
who gets your electoral college votes in sports? Right now?
(11:15):
Come on, chop, chop, who's your write in candidate? Did
you really hear that somewhere? No? No, no, I wouldn't
be surprised though that happen. That's good, that's really good.
Are you gonna write that down for next year or
next election? You know, two years? Yeah, all right, I'm
(11:35):
deciding to check out here, I'm gonna check out and
this is what I'm gonna do here. I'm gonna mail
it in and I'm gonna cut some corners here and
a little shoddy work, little shoddy work there. Why not
you could sandwich that in between a couple of segments
of recorded interviews. Yes, yes, that's always good. That that
(11:56):
really stirs the pot. Not that we're complaining, No, no, no, no,
no no, because those people get paid a lot more
often than the people that actually do the work. Just
shocking thing. So phone it in, just phone it in,
all right? Now, are you ready for the mail? Are
you ready for the mail? All right? Listen to this.
Here we go. This is a mail bag. These are
actual questions sent in by actual listeners, and you gotta
(12:19):
pay attention now. On the Facebook page, I posted this
the other day and I had an email from my guy,
Jimmy Valls fan Jimmy, He's like, hey, we're doing no
mail bag this week. I said, no, we're doing the
mail bag. And I guess you couldn't find it or whatever,
but it's right there on the Facebook page. I know
that right now. On my Facebook page we have pinned
at the top. We've had the video of me eating
(12:42):
the bull jerky, the Rocky Mountain Oyster Jerky, the bull nuts. Anyway,
this email comes from Scott in Texas. If you want
to find us on Facebook, Ben Mallers show like the
page there and also Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Scott in Texas says,
the very minute, or he says, every minute round, every
(13:04):
minute of the party, excuse me, every minute of a
podcast loser. He is catching up here, he says. As
a cattle producer, how about this. Scott is a cattle
producer in Texas. I want to chime in on the
final verdict on the Rocky Mountain Oyster bent, he says.
I hate to feed the ego, but you are vindicated.
(13:25):
Scott says, but that make sure you send this to Eddie. Scott,
who works in the cattle business, says, you actually did
yourself a tremendous disservice. Bullballs when deep fried, maybe a
little catchup are like delicious slightly softer chicken nuggets. Marcel
would love them free to Marcell in Brooklyn. He says,
(13:48):
what you choked down sounds awful. Every time you say vain,
I cringe. And you had to chew and chew. Yeah,
it was like like really thick bubble gum that had
veins in it. And then he he points out Scott
was ripping also Coop and Eddie who's you know? He
said they cannot match, which is true. Uh and uh.
(14:11):
He says if if they were smart, uh, they should
make the delicious fried nugget option. But then he says
there are a couple of dummies and they won't do it. Well,
thank you Scott, very kind there. And he says, legit
Twitter poll was correct, correct the mundo. So that is
a vote of confidence from Scott. This guy works in
(14:32):
the cattle business in Texas. That's you can't get more authentic.
These guys around bull testicles all day long. It's a
little too because I'm because Eddie and Coop would eat
just about anything. Uh, Coop not so much anymore. But yeah,
back in the day, he would for for a price,
he would do anything. Yeah, Chef Scott from ne Orleans
(14:58):
Rights and he says, So, I've been this thing for
a while, but I was hoping you could explain a
few of your favorite sayings, what they mean and the
story behind them. And then he gives me the sayings
and they are both related to the same person, all right,
And here they are, Third round, my may In, don't
(15:19):
bury the lame my Mayan. Yeah, those are the two
that you want to know. What's chef Scott in the bayou?
Thank you, sir for listening again. I appreciate that, um.
And both those are an homage to one of the
senior executives at Fox Sports Radio, Don Martin, a long
time radio programmer. He's to work in Denver and been
(15:39):
in l A forever running a M five seventy and
also the premier networks Fox Sports Radio. And Don is
a big personality and he's one of the bosses. And
if you ever met Don, here's just a few things.
I've been in his office a few times over the years,
and Don's got some catchphrases. I know, Petro some money
do a lot of the knit round Don all the time,
(16:01):
Don Martin, So they do a lot of personations. But
the two things that stood out any time we would
talk about something on the radio that was a little dicey,
a little dicey, and uh, that's a third round on
my end, stay away with the third round on my
end like that, and then uh, and then we we'd
start the show with something. If I'd start the show
and I do something that he didn't think was like
(16:22):
worthy of, like the top story, just a little critique.
Don't bury the lead, my man. You know, so you
gotta start with the lead story, right, don't bury the lead.
Start with what's most important. You don't put it second.
You know, you eat the most important thing first, and
then everything else is after that. So so that's where
those came came from. And see, he says, a theoretical
shout out to all the unemployed restaurant workers and my
(16:45):
fellow chefs me included. Man, that sucks. Man, Yeah, you're
the ones in California and in New York. Now, well,
you gotta keep the faith, man, you gotta keep the
hopefully by what do you think, April or now April?
It's not it's actually not that far away. It is
(17:06):
for a business though like that, Yeah, I know, I know.
And if you're unemployed, it so long time way uh,
and this is I keep up the perfectly adequate production
quality gascon Oh thank you. Yeah, But for some reason,
I don't think he's sincere. But you don't think he
was being honest and truthful and that came from the
heart maybe. But if you, if he definitely was, then
(17:28):
thank you. If not, then uh well, look at my
comments to myself. You've never kept your comments to yourself. Yeah. Yeah,
on here, I'm a little bit more reserved than I
tend to be when I'm talking to you off there. Yeah, okay,
all right, Uh well, thank you again, Chef Scott there
in so he'll he'll write back again. We gotta ask
(17:50):
him what his specialty is, Okay, I don't know, um,
some kind of Southern stuff because he's in New Orleans.
I had some kind of gumbo or something like that.
Maybe you're not like a jump Alive fan, are you? No? No,
I have a pretty basic palette, pretty basic ballot. Glenn
(18:10):
in Chicago writes in, and Glenn says, hey, guys, is
Regina in Minnesota a bit? And if so, is it
Coope's girlfriend? Uh no, We I get asked this sometimes.
I think you're kidding, Glenn, but we do get asked
if some of these people that call the show are characters,
(18:31):
if these are paid actors, and that this is all scripted,
and these are people that just call radio shows, and
they are people that just call radio shows. But we
have no budget, and I assure you that we have
no budget and to do a radio show where you
have a bunch of people that are paid and there
are shows that do that. There's a lot of morning
(18:51):
shows there their services that will have bits where people
will call up as characters on the show, and we
don't have any of that. We're not a morning show.
We're an overnight show. But for whatever reason, I have
always been someone that has attracted a certain type of caller,
and Regina falls in line with that. And credit Card Gordon,
(19:14):
who has nothing to say but calls every show. Um
and he's there, Doc Mike, whup. You'll be happy to know.
I know you didn't hear this the other night guest,
but Doc Mike, the guy that wrote the euro Fapathy
Europathy rather Europathy, which is a book about drinking piss.
He had him call into the show as he's booking guests.
(19:36):
So the guy calls up, we put him on. I
was like, what the hell puts down for a few
minutes and he cursed. We had to hang up on Jesus.
Yeah yeah, and then Doc, I'll have him call back.
He didn't know you couldn't curse. There you go, outstanding
had a We had a couple of new callers this week.
We had a guy named lunch Meat from Texas. It
(19:56):
sounds like my kind of guy. He loves bologny, but
burnt bologny. Man, I haven't had bologne in a long time. Yeah,
I haven't either. I can't remember the last time I
had bologney or full of bologney. Old school days that
would have the lunchables would be the cracker, the bologny
and cheese. I was like way back in the day. Though. Yeah, yeah,
(20:18):
Bologney is still a very popular thing, you know. I
remember the Oscar meyer was the do they have a
bologny jingle? I remember the Oscar buyer jingle from back
of the day. I wish I was an Oscar buyer
weet or remember that? Was there something for bologny? I
kind of vaguely remember something like a slogan for bologny.
I don't remember. I don't either, but I have not
(20:42):
had bologny. Uh, you know I have not had it,
but thank you, Glenn. He says, does gagon have any
other hobbies other than taking selfies and looking in the mirror?
I guess it's a gagon. Do you have any other
hobbies other than taking selfies and looking in the mirror?
I got tons of hobbies, reading, writing, producing some gambling
(21:03):
shows on Friday's um. Exercising is always a good one,
of course, watching sports, watching watching television. Do you watch sports? Yeah,
it's I think it's a hobby. I mean I am
one of the few rare cats that actually watches the NHL.
I'm one of the few rare cats that actually watches
mac football on Tuesdays and Wednesday nights. Cookie on a
(21:27):
gold Star. No, I mean that's that's a rarity. Most
people don't do that. Ship M interesting. Yeah. But I'm
also I'm also a degenerate. I actually have I'm a
part of a college fantasy football league too. Oh is
that right? Yeah? It's pretty bad. Okay, Uh, well again,
thanks Glenn. Uh Coolie from Round Rock, Texas wants us
(21:53):
to play Mary f Kill NFL coaches. Do you want
to play Mary f Kill NFL? Coaches. What the hell
is that? No, you you marry one, you uh f
one and you kill one. Yeah, but isn't that safe
for like your show? Didn't you do that as part
of a game show back in the day or no?
(22:15):
Uh no, I don't. Like we've mentioned it from time
to time, but we've never done a game show. I
mean it sounds like something I would do, but I
don't think we did. Sure. Yeah, okay, so you want
to go first year f mary kill? Which one would
you f? Which would you marry? And which one would
(22:36):
you uh would you kill? Guess? Scouts? So we're talking
about the w n B A yes, no, no, NFL.
We're talking college. We're talking a women's college basketball yes
no no, no, no, no, no no, no, no no no. It
sounds seems like you don't want to play the game.
Apparently you don't want to. You know, it was top
back in the day. Don't take the babies. I was
(22:57):
I was hoping you would, but I'm sorry, Cool, you
didn't take de bait man. I don't have to tell you.
I thought it out there. Pierre from Springfield and his
alter ego Alph the alien o Pinter, What do you
think is the greatest invention of your lifetime outside the smartphone, well,
that would be the Worldwide Web, which is both the
(23:18):
greatest and the worst invention of the at the same time.
It's both the greatest and the worst in mention because
it's wonderful. If I it kind of relates to what
we had with Brad Sham, where it's like too much
of a good thing. It's great that like when I
was a kid, we would some of the grocery stores,
I forget which one. They had a deal like every
week you came in and buy groceries, you could buy
(23:40):
a chapter of the encyclopedia, right, and that's how you
you know, so you build your encyclopedia. You just go
buy your groceries, and then like every week you get
a different letter of the the alphabet or whatever. And
so but now, I mean all that said, your fingertips
on the internet. It's awesome. Whatever you want on the Internet,
it's a wonderful thing. But then it's also a little
(24:01):
bit too much because you have like a you know,
have a couple of things. You have a headache, you
going and you see what you look at like web
m D and you're like, holy crap, I'm gonna die,
you know, So it does cut both ways. What about
you guess the greatest invention in your lifetime. I'll do
your lifetime, since you're a little bit older. But but
it falls into place I don't I don't look older.
(24:23):
You look you look older than me and and obviously
not to be, you know. Piggybacking off of that, I'd
say the m R I. The m R I machines
that were inventive are back in like the late seventies.
But I think with the way that modern technology is,
and with medicine and the evolution, that does wonders, especially
(24:44):
for athletes to get themselves back on the field much quicker,
and of course to get treated faster than than they
would prior to that. Yeah, I like mine better. I
like my answer better. This is a good answer. But
I'm just thank you. I appreciate that it was a
great answer, not just a good answer, the greatest. It's good,
it's decent to be. It was an amazing answer, one
of the great answers ever given on a podcast or
(25:06):
a radio show. Yeah, but I'm gonna win a what
are they I know? In radio? The awards are the
Marconi Yeah, what are the podcast awards. I don't know,
but you have to submit and pay for those submissions anyway,
you actually for the for the podcast. You have to
actually pays going to do that. I have no idea,
Like I know some of the radio trades. Yeah, I've
(25:28):
heard rumors. I don't know if it's true or not,
but I've heard rumors that it's pay to play, like
you'll you'll be one of the top one radio shows
if you're at a check and they'll put you in
there and they'll move you up a little bit, that
kind of thing. Yeah, there's some of that. Actually, she
used to work for Fox and she got she wanted
an Emmy for for sports digital content, and that was
(25:50):
that had nothing to do with the actual content itself
and just had to do more with the name and
and the submission from from said company. But yeah, like
I wouldn't mind winning Marconi. But I think somebody has
to like submit for you right on your behalf. I
think that's somebody told me that. I guess the next
submission time is early next year or something like that.
(26:12):
But who who would actually people that you work with
who would actually submit for you? Oh? No, one I
work with that no one likes me who I work with.
But I would say maybe a listener would do it.
I think a listeners can do it, so sorry, listen.
I could see a crazy, wacky member of the Mallard
militia like, yeah, I'm gonna get my I'm gonna make
him really Mallard Marconi, Maller and I'm gonna send in
(26:34):
this hour and it's gonna he's gonna win a Marconi,
which would be awesome, but I you know, who know, Yeah,
good good luck. The odds are against that. Murray from Saskatoon.
I'm guessing that's not really where he's from, Saskatoon. Maybe
that's just that's just a fun place to say, Saskatoon,
fun city. It's in the top ten, not that we
(26:54):
do list radio, but like top ten silly cities to say,
what about Saskatchewan. Yeah, but like Beaver Dam, Calabazookani, Kalamazoo
Punk Satani Walla Walla Washington. From Walla Walla, Washington to Kalamazoo.
It's an old song before your time. Earlier I used
(27:16):
to be the open of Dodger Baseball. From Walla Walla,
Washington to Kalamazoo's exciting. They do that. If I remember
they took that off the broadcast. People got very upset
back in the back in the sixties seventies. No, this
was in like the nineties. From Walla Walla, Washington Day.
(27:36):
How about tim Buck two. That's another one. That's good
tim Buck to win a Mucca from Johnny Cash win
a mucka rule? What about Death Valley? Yeah, all right,
but it's not as silly as like tim Buck two?
Or was it? Isn't there a Hell Pennsylvania or something
like that. That's pretty funny. I just saw a story
(27:57):
recently that there's a town in Canada, in Quebec that
just changed their name. It was as bestest Canada. The
name of the city was his bestest. Finally, after all
these years, changed their names like crazy. What about Nowhere, Oklahoma? Well,
I used that all the time. That's the one I
that's the bit on the show where I say, hey,
(28:19):
you get a trip to the round trip to nowhere
because it's an unincorporated, unincorporated area of Oklahoma. One of
these years I'll be driving through Oklahoma and I will
purposely go off the beaten path out into the boondocks,
just so there's got to be a sign somewhere this
is welcome to nowhere, Oklahoma. I gotta get a photo
in front of that small that's not even a talent, like,
(28:41):
I don't even lives there, It's just an area of Oklahoma.
I would love to get a photo right in front
in the hinterlands, right in front of that side out
in rural Oklahoma. I think that would be cool bucket
list someday. Someday that's gonna happen. But Murray and Saskatoon says,
who is worse gag On or Record Ralph? Gagon or
(29:04):
Record Ralph? M hm stuff. Well, I don't even really
see Record Ralph much of these days because he doesn't
work the overnight when Eddie's away. Normally I am forced
to work with I forget that guy's name, he's from
San Diego. Get the guy his name, but he's usually
in there. And so yeah, I don't really deal with
(29:26):
the Record Ralph too much and gag on every week.
So you can you win? Congratulations? Congratulations? What do I
get for that? You get to keep doing a marginal
job on the podcast about that? That's good? That good? Right?
Ethan and Akron rights and he's now a podcast only
(29:48):
listener used to listen to the live show, but he's
got the dreaded day job. He says, Guys, do you
have any sporting fan pet peeves, for example, people from
Ohio who are die hard front running Steeler fans and
Ohio State fans, or Ohio State fans who never went
to school there. Ethan says, uh, yeah, even I'm in
(30:09):
trying to think off the top of my head some
of the things that annoy me. I usually talk about
them on the show, so it's not like I I
hide them. Uh. One of the things that just randomly
popped in my head since I read that question, Ethan
was hockey. The original six NHL team fan base that
have this snobby, elitist just like they're like gascon, like
they're better than everyone else because they were part of
(30:31):
the original six. There's like this cartel in hockey. Those
people annoy me. I mean those people. It's been a
long time since the original six were the only the
only teams in town. Move on now, yeah, you're good.
I think the biggest thing that annoys me is when
you have an individual that lives in a certain city
or from a certain city, but they like four or
(30:54):
five different teams from four or five different cities. Yeah,
but I if you grow up in place without professional sports, yeah,
but like I get it. Well, the well perfect example,
the guy that stole the Benny from Main Johnas knocks.
He's a Penguins fan, he's a Celtics fan. Yeah, he
likes South Carolina, he likes the Chicago Cubs. Like he's
(31:17):
all over the map. Yeah, no, I understand. But we
had a guy, uh what was the guy's name? In fact,
last it was last year U when I was was
in Boston in April, I think it was it was
it was Mike or somebody. I forget what it was.
(31:37):
But he he was from in Toronto. But he was
a Clipper fan, because the for whatever he liked the
Clippers isn't I was like it was odd. But he's
a Blue Jay guy and a Clipper guy. So and
then you know, you can also tell like how old
someone is by the fans lading the teams. I like, like,
there's just a certain guys that are like I like
(31:58):
the Miami Dolphins, the Lakes of the Yankees, because those
teams all were good when you were ten years old
and you fell in love with sports. Right, and see
a globbed onto those teams or the Pittsburg Steelers because
they were winning Super Bowls when you were a kidding
all it be uh you know the funny thing about
(32:19):
that kind of deal. Just to piggyback off that is
in in Boston when I started doing stuff, syndicated stuff
in Boston, and the Patriots were terrible, like this is
before they became the dominant dynasty of the NFL, and
we and all these guys call up from Boston. They
didn't want to talk about the Patriots. They were Giants
and Jets fans because the Patriots are so bad. When
(32:39):
they were kids, they moved in the Jets were actually
decent and the Giants were good, so they became fans
of the Giants and Jets because the Patriots never won anything.
And there's still the older generation now. That will not
happen with this next couple of generations because the Patriots
have been great for twenty years. Um, we'll be working here, yes,
(33:00):
working here. We got a lot of young uns and
it is Yeah, it's amazing. When their teams don't win,
they break down. That was that, right, Yeah, it's it
doesn't rival when you had some people that were crying
because of a presidential election. But you got dudes here
that breakdown. They can emotionally distraught when their teams don't win. Yeah,
(33:26):
I maybe it's because of old age, but I've I'm
pretty much numb to it at this point. I'm used
to it. I'm surprised, like I was stunning the Dodgers,
actually one I just expected to do another monologue after
a Dodger blew the world series. And they would have
blown the world series if it wasn't for Kevin Cash
being stupefied, paralyzed and petrified by that decision to take
(33:48):
out his picture and still doubling and tripling down on it,
which is just just wonderful, right, just absolutely wonderful, just
just just great. As they couldn't care less abstude. I
heard the right call, know what the wrong way, but
I made the right good job by you. There you go.
I just had a brain freeze, like eating a slurpee.
He had a slurpee too fast. You had a brain freeze.
That's how that worked, all right. I was next on
(34:10):
the mailbag. Lee in the Valley of the Sun, Lee
and Phoenix, one of your favorites. Gascon. Did he spell
Lee correctly? Wow? That is a disrespectful situation. I likely
Lee's a good guy and leaves a true Mallard militia
foot soldier because I have taken nothing but cheap shots.
They're small, cheap shots because it's about alligator arms. But Lee,
(34:32):
he still loves Joan. He loves the Cardinals. So you
can two things can't be true. He is leading the
charge with the Kyler Murray m v P. Talk right now, please,
I can get behind Lee on that lost to the
Dolphins at home, rookie quarterback, second start. He does not
play MVP. My ass does not play m VP. My
(34:52):
lost to the Detroit Lions at home? Wasn't his? Was
it his fault? That's your m v P. That's great
Cardinal team, a great, great quarterback. Unbelievable, a bunch of lemmings,
a bunch of blind you know what? At least say
get to the point, all right, Like get to the
point please? Lee said, how long have you been with
the same phone number? Why have you not changed it?
(35:13):
My god, I have had the same phone number probably
for thirty years maybe at this point. Yeah, I've had it.
I have, And why don't I change it, well, because
everyone knows the number, which is good and bad. Have
I changed it? I would make Doc Mike vanish for
my life and not have to call me and all
(35:34):
that stuff. Um, but yeah, mainly because that's how people
know me. You know. It's it's painting the ask you
change your number. And there's people that I haven't been
in contact with for a long time, but I know
my numbers still on their phone, so if I call
him up, they'll see on their phone. Hey it's Mallard.
You know that kind of thing. It's good. How long
have you had your number? Gascon two thousand one. I've
(35:57):
been with T Mobiles since they started back back back
in the Are you bragging about your T Mobile relationship? Well, yeah,
it's like it was a unique one I I have.
I've been with T Mobile since their start. And uh,
my first credit card I still have since I was
like eighteen years old. That's kind of ran the same
(36:17):
credit card from when you were eight team same hasn't expired?
Ye expired? About this saying like it's gonna say, I mean,
did you frame it? Did you put it on the
wall and say look at this? No? No, I haven't
not done that. I do do that with my my
old driver's license. Though. Yeah, Hey, when I was doing
the website, I had a burner phone. I was. I
was a brand ambassador for one of the phone companies,
(36:40):
and they sent me a phone. They said, try this
phone out to us to take the hot line. It's great.
The second phone was a great phone, and I used
that random. Now, the phone bill is pretty much the same.
You call anybody's you pay a flat rate pretty much
and that's it. So but back in those days it
was per call, how long you're on the phone. Four
So it was like, great, I could make phone calls
(37:00):
I wanted. Mr Luciato, rights in from Los Angeles, says
question for both in your lifetime, have you have visited
any ghost towns or any abandoned places? Not too much,
I mean other than the tourist trap on the way
to Vegas. You know there's that ghost town out in
(37:21):
Death Valley. I would like to go to some of
those places in Arizona. I don't know if they're really abandoned, though.
There's that town in Arizona that has donkeys walking around,
that old western town. I'd like to check that out.
Passed through there I'm trying to think though, have I
been any real ghost towns. No. I've walked through some
(37:42):
abandoned buildings when I was younger in New York, but
you know, you should stay out of abandon buldingsare's usually
it's just people doing heroin in abandoned building. It's not
a good thing. There's like this kind of some shady
cats that go to those places, right, that's where they
hang out. What about you anyway, Well, historical places. I've
been to Alcatraz, Yeah, take a boat. It's expensive to
(38:07):
get out there. I'd like to go there. Every time
I've been to San Francisco, it's been I can't been
able to get a ticket because it's booked. Yeah, you'd
enjoy it. Um And then of course the I had
to do it obviously for just the history from it.
But going from Germany to Poland, I went to auschwitzen
Berken now and and that's really chilling. But yeah, there's
two and obviously in two separate locations, so we took
(38:28):
a tour bus from one location to the other and
that was just uh, I was obviously amazing at the
same time chilling, But those are those are obviously some
great historical places. Debbie Downer, what about if Alcatraz, if
you took the prison out of the building and just
(38:49):
made that like a home, how much would that land
and the home be worth? Looking at the skyline of
San Francisco. I don't know. You tell me you're Mr Catalina,
What does that mean? Well, it's like it's just a
little island that's off the that's off the coast, even
your own private island. Looking at the skyline of San Francisco,
(39:10):
it's probably it's like fit for like Mark Zuckerberg or
Jack Dorsey. Well, they'd probably just put condos on there.
How big is alco It's not that big. It's very small, right, Yeah,
it's pretty small. So you couldn't really put more than
like maybe a condo. But but why would you do that?
You just build a big house on there? No, you could.
It would be a solid sized lot. And the problem
(39:31):
is obviously the structure there or the balance of it all.
It's not equal footing and grounding at all. But they
just have to dig deep. And how they do they dig?
Digny Matt from Elmira, New York. Right, So, and he
says paper rock, scissors or coin toss to solve minor disputes.
(39:53):
I'm curious what you West Coasters do, said Matt in Elmira,
New York. We call it rock papers is. I don't
call it paper rocks is. I call it rock paper scissors.
That's how we were raised for. For me, um, it's easy.
I flip a penny. It's penny versus you go. Look
at that. Set you up for that. I like rock
(40:14):
paper scissors or paper rocks is or whatever you call it.
But I like that always going with rock rocks a
solid choice. Sometimes I'll mix it up. I'll use the
Malley maneuver dynamite. Malley maneuver. Throw that in there, rock
paper scissors dynamite. Yeah, and then the scissors beats the
dynamite because you cut the string on the scissors. That's
(40:35):
how that works there. That's the key as a veteran move.
And the paper see that that beats the rock, right,
the paper beats the rock. And then yeah, I got
you all right, And most people don't pick paper because
it's weak. So alright, last one, last one? Are you
ready for the final question? Drumroll? Please? Are here we go?
(41:01):
Some Adrian in the mile high Citi. He's just been
I have been wanting to try raising canes chricken finger.
I'll try the Broomfield, Colorado location. What is the mather especial? Again,
I'm not a fan of Coleslaw either. Thanks. All right, Yeah,
so here's what I get. It's a very hearty meal, Adrian.
So I hope you're a big guy. You like a
big meal. So you go in there. You get the
(41:22):
Kenny At combo. That's the biggest combo. That's a six
piece combo. With the fries, the Texas toast, the Coaslaw.
Here's the move, A couple of veteran moves. All right.
First of all, you say I want no Coaslaw, extra fries,
no coastal extrifies. And then with the Texas toast, I
would like it both sides because they only cook it
on one side unless you you tell them specifically. So
(41:46):
I have him cooked on both sides and it is amazing.
Guest guy, you love raising canes, right, Yeah. I don't
recommend having raising canes cold, especially if you're hosting a
party and you're I recommend you show up on time
to the party so the food is not cold. How
about that? There are ways to keep warming food warm,
but you know it's it's fine. Yeah. One way to
(42:07):
keep food warm is to show up when the food
is served. You know, it's like you was such a lightweight.
I remember, like my mom, dinner is at eight o'clock.
If you show up at nine o'clock, dinners at eight o'clock,
you get what you get. Deal with it. This is
how I can tell you had a horrific dating life
because you would never go to a club or a
bar when it opened up. It's an amateur move. It's
(42:29):
a bad job by you. It's not a bar. It's
never a bar. It's a if you want to eat, listen.
If you you want to eat at the party, you
show up when the food is served. You should have
a little have the decency. You should show up when
the food is served. Have a little burner underneath each
tray and keep there was a burner. It ran out.
You showed up three hours after the party started. What
(42:51):
are we supposing I'm supposed to have a corn area
because Gascon showed up three hours late and wanted fresh food.
And by the way, Rob Parker showed up to that
party late and robbed and complain he ate the chicken
with a smile on his face. That's a little bit different.
That's respect. That's because that is respect. That's because the
food was free, and so Rob never turns down a
free meal. No, he didn't complain. No, he's like, listen,
(43:12):
I like this. It's a good meal. Thank you very much.
He was very kind. I was wonderful you it's a
cavalcado complaints. Yeah, because the tough guy, gas guy. Because
the year before that, you send me a text at
twelve o'clock at night, here are you coming over the funker.
I just got the invitation from you right now to
come over for the Christmas party. No, I'm not coming over.
You're lucky you got the invitation. I bet people beg
(43:35):
for that. Brian Finley begged to come to that party.
He invited himself. Who does that? He invited himself. That
guy still well, we used to I don't know if
you know him, but he used to work the way.
He also, I want to go to the party. I mean,
all these guys must must visit party. Then half the
(43:55):
people don't even show up. So it's wonderful. I'm expecting
gas money this year. It's a long Drive. There's no
party this year. You can blame King Newsom. His majesty
has spoken, and so until his majesty decides to open
things up there we'll have an extra spring party. Jesus. No, no,
(44:16):
it's open. If it's over in spring, maybe the monarchy
will allow us there. No, there'll be something else that
they want to keep us locked down for. Oh is
that right? Yeah, give me an inches to take a mile.
I've heard that before. I think I saw that on
a bumper stick or somewhere back in the day. All right,
that'll do it again. Thank you all. If you're listening
to this podcast early on Sunday Benny Versus the Penny,
(44:37):
check that out before the games kick off. There's a
lot of late games today too, so more late games
than ever because of the Masters and CBS not doing
any early games of the NFL. So if you want
to check out any of the NFL content, it's on YouTube.
Just search Benny Versus the Penny Back on the Radio
(44:58):
tonight Tonight, back on the Radio, breaking down all the
NFL games, the good, the bad, and the ugly from
the weekend that was. And also still got that that's
a Monday night game as well to talk about as well,
But we'll get to all of that then and we'll
catch you next time. Thanks. Be sure to catch live
editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am
(45:20):
Eastern eleven pm Pacific
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific.
If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill
(00:21):
poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Glad to
have you with us year the Sunday edition Sunday Sunday,
Sunday Funday, Funday, fun Day unless it's not. But we
(00:45):
are with you eight days a week, four hours, not
at off on the overnight. Thank you for downloading, Thank
you for subscribing. Five stars, five stars. I know it's
a pain in the ass. It seems ridiculous. Who the
hell reads those reviews on the podcast? It makes no sense,
but trust me, the people in charge, the people that
are holding the strings. Uh, they liked that. They liked
(01:10):
that stuff. So you can check that out again wherever
you get your podcast, but the Apple podcast page, there's
a lot of reviews there, and I saw we had
another five star review, a couple of five star reviews
this last week here. In fact, did you see that
I I was given we were getting a five star
review here because of one thing, and one thing only,
(01:34):
the Iowa Hawkeyes hat that I occasionally wear got five
stars because of that. How about that David gascon By,
I was waiting for his proper introduction because he's west
of the four or five time here is demanding, that
is you demanded. I asked that you concede, and you
bend the knee to me so gently. Ben Mallory j W.
(01:58):
From Austin writes, and he actually reviewed the podcast five stars,
five stars. More podcast gold from Mallard. And then for
some reason you said, gag on. You know, you must
not know how to spell your name. They're kind of
an asshole thing to say. That's a good thing to
say that. I like that. That's Mike North gave you
a wonderful gift. Mike North gave you an amazing nickname,
(02:19):
a glorious nickname, just just outstanding. So thank you guys
for the reviews. I do appreciate. It is a pain
in the ass to do that. And not many people do,
so thank you. It's not that hard. You just want
to listen, you don't want to paint. You could click
(02:40):
a couple of buttons, and I don't know what You're right.
You know, It's like, if you're getting people that click
onto the site to download the audio, they should be
able to write a quick review at least give it
five stars. Well, well, maybe you do that. I don't.
I use a lot of different websites and listen to
different thing I don't review any of them. So I
(03:02):
mean maybe you do. Are you a review guy or
you review guesscon here? Is that your operation there? No,
but I'll give it if it's quick and easy. I'll
give a five star or three star, even a one star.
If it's not good, it's fine, we might click the
star thing. But actually write something though, That's what I'm
talking about. Actually write a review doesn't usually happen. Yeah,
I don't really, but I'm not. I don't subscribe to
(03:24):
many platforms that require a review, like I don't do
that Yelp or anything like that, So it's not good
enough for you to do it. But if you want
other people to do it. But if I'm on Apple
iTunes or something like that. I couldn't do that. Or
if it meant something to a business, a small business,
i'd write a review for the mom and pop podcast
(03:46):
that's competing against big name television people that have podcasts
and have big budgets behind them, like that kind of podcast. No, No,
that's fighting for the same scraps that you know that
the other the other people have an army of people
promoting the podcast, that kind of thing. No, it definitely
would not do that. No, no, no, definitely not. I understand. Yeah,
we've done over a hundred and fifty episodes now at
(04:09):
the Fifth Hour podcast. Did you know that that's fifty
and it's only on the weekends, And originally we're doing
it once a week. It was only on like Friday. Yeah,
so we're up to a hundred and fifty. Now, that's
a lot of that's a lot of effort. That's a
lot of sit ups by you to get up out
of your bed, waddle over to the studio that's like
ten ft away, crack open the mic. I mean, it's
(04:33):
not that easy to carry you on my back. That's
it's hard to do that, but I'm able to pull
it off. Somehow, what is more enjoying? You do? You
enjoyed a burden, by the way, it's it is a burden,
but I don't complain about it. And I come in here.
You've got nothing, You got no, no, I I care
the whole thing. That's a strain. It's not strain. You know,
(04:55):
it's not easy to carry dead weight around, but it
makes you better. It's like I remember reading about Jerry
Rice running up the steps in Malibu in the off
season to get ready for the NFL, you know, because
he made him better and all that he had weights
on his back and and so it's kind of like, yeah,
I gotta wait on my back and you keep going.
You would agree with me that since your days of
(05:17):
becoming a sports talk show host that you have never
ever ever either relied or actually leaned on a co
host or a producer for content. Yes, no, no, that's
not true. I with Looney, I knew that Looney would
would give me something. Okay, that's so that with Looney
(05:37):
it was good. I didn't really have to do as
much prep with Loony everyone else. And I mean, you know,
I love a lot of people I work with. I
love they don't watch sports until they show up to work.
So it's a little difficult to do, you know, a
four hour professional radio show if they don't actually watch
stuff until they show up to work, and they're stunned
when things happened, but they're like, I didn't know that.
I'm like, well, it happened five hours ago. What have
(05:59):
you been doing? To be fair, you and Tom would
yell over each other. That's a little bit different of
a dynamic than you and I have, because I don't
I was aggressive, it was a ledgy. Um, it was good. Yeah,
that doesn't translate to a podcast platform at all. I disagree, Well,
I respectfully disagree. So you would like me to talk
(06:20):
over you and to yell into the microphone at times
if you had a good point. You yet to have one,
But if you had a good point, I'd be fine
with it. I don't put that out. Any point that
I have you gonna say is not a good point,
as long as you can make a counterpoint and talk
over it. You know what, you are a mozart with
at the piano. That's what you want. Okay, you're the
(06:40):
carpenter without tools. I mean, I'll just point that out.
Come on man is that a low blow. I got
my hand is a blow. I got my hands, though
I could. I could do some ship your Picasso without
a brush. Your finger painting is what you're doing there,
That's what you're doing. Yeah, gonna go on and go
on if you can, if you'd like to. It's just
showering me with anti compliments. Yes, no no no no
no no no no no. I am tough love. Remember,
(07:04):
yes makes you better tough love. Right, come on, you did,
you did a great job. You paid off your your
debt last weekend. You went to live on Instagram, which
is great to uh eat. Yes, I ate the bull testicles.
I did, and I got nothing but shipped for it
(07:25):
from the the people I work with, because you didn't
really pay off the bed. You didn't really do it.
It's not it's not Rocky mount noister. Yeah wait, I'm here.
I am. It was Rocky Mountain oyster jerky. So I
bought into it. I bite into it. I'm biting into
a goddamn vain and I've got you know edny. Oh,
(07:48):
it's not really drizz not really real. Oh my god,
it's unreal. And the funny thing is that the the
bull jerky benefactor, a big fan who sent that. I
told this person, I said, listen, um, no matter what
I eat, they are going to So you didn't really
(08:10):
do it, you know, as I could get Rocky Mountain
oysters shipped in from from Denver, if that was a possibility,
I could eat them. And they said, no, you just
ate meat balls, or you didn't do it right. And
so this is you know, it's because of the COVID
thing has been not easy to track down the Rocky
Mountain oysters. This was sent in by a listener. It's
(08:30):
a delicacy from a place called the Rocky Mountain Oyster
Jerky Company. And so I ate it. And these guys
were were They thought it was obscene and I would
try to claim this is actual. It was the same
thing thing, these miserable, downtrodden people who are trying to
bust my balls, and it was disgusting and I will
(08:52):
never do it again. I did it, and that's it.
I had to eat a bunch of candy and I
got a headache from all the sugar. I ate afterwards
to get to the taste out of my mouth. But
but I did actually have an email about that, because
this is the mail. This is the mailbag edition of
the podcast, So we actually have an email about that.
But I did do it. A man of my word.
When I say I'm gonna do something, I do. You
(09:13):
got one, You got one debt paid off, and you
get another one in Oh my god, what I get.
I'll get to that. That's on my list. I'll get there. Yeah,
well I can make a list to You know, there's
people being there's people making lists for all kinds of
things these days. Were you like list radio? You're a
big list radio? Gay you invented list rate for those
(09:33):
who no no guests? God did list radio? Yeah? Thanksgivings
right around the corner. I'm sure that I'll be Uh,
I'll be on a show that's doing list radio. Oh yeah,
who do you want to invite to Thanksgiving dinner? What
is your favorite side dish for Thanksgiving? Who gets the
extra turkey? Leg h? You know Thanksgiving pie that you
(10:02):
can eat? Yes? Yes, exactly? What kind of stuffing do
you like? Your favorite kind of stuffing? Please let us know. Cranberries,
no cranbers, yams with marshmallows, no marshmallows. Please call right
now eight seven seven ninety nine on far How about this,
we'll do something different. How about we do a Thanksgivings draft?
How about that? What's the first pick? Oh, I don't know, Turkey,
(10:27):
maybe not, Maybe it'll be pumpkin pie. Oh my guds,
cheeseball radio. That happens every years. So embarrassing. Our profession
is a joke when people that do this, so lazy.
There's five football game as three football games and Thanksgiving,
let's do it Thanksgiving Day draft? Oh my god, what's
just just that you're admitting you're lazy. You're admitting you
didn't do your job, and these people don't. It's so
(10:50):
dumb that people that do this, they don't even realize
that that's what they're doing. Don't forget what is your
mount rushmore of Thanksgiving dessert entrees, dishes, drinks. That's that's
what we got too. So well, you could You did
this with the election the other day. I heard you
filled in on the weekends and you you said, all right,
who gets your electoral college votes in sports? Right now?
(11:15):
Come on, chop, chop, who's your write in candidate? Did
you really hear that somewhere? No? No, no, I wouldn't
be surprised though that happen. That's good, that's really good.
Are you gonna write that down for next year or
next election? You know, two years? Yeah, all right, I'm
(11:35):
deciding to check out here, I'm gonna check out and
this is what I'm gonna do here. I'm gonna mail
it in and I'm gonna cut some corners here and
a little shoddy work, little shoddy work there. Why not
you could sandwich that in between a couple of segments
of recorded interviews. Yes, yes, that's always good. That that
(11:56):
really stirs the pot. Not that we're complaining, No, no, no, no,
no no, because those people get paid a lot more
often than the people that actually do the work. Just
shocking thing. So phone it in, just phone it in,
all right? Now, are you ready for the mail? Are
you ready for the mail? All right? Listen to this.
Here we go. This is a mail bag. These are
actual questions sent in by actual listeners, and you gotta
(12:19):
pay attention now. On the Facebook page, I posted this
the other day and I had an email from my guy,
Jimmy Valls fan Jimmy, He's like, hey, we're doing no
mail bag this week. I said, no, we're doing the
mail bag. And I guess you couldn't find it or whatever,
but it's right there on the Facebook page. I know
that right now. On my Facebook page we have pinned
at the top. We've had the video of me eating
(12:42):
the bull jerky, the Rocky Mountain Oyster Jerky, the bull nuts. Anyway,
this email comes from Scott in Texas. If you want
to find us on Facebook, Ben Mallers show like the
page there and also Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Scott in Texas says,
the very minute, or he says, every minute round, every
(13:04):
minute of the party, excuse me, every minute of a
podcast loser. He is catching up here, he says. As
a cattle producer, how about this. Scott is a cattle
producer in Texas. I want to chime in on the
final verdict on the Rocky Mountain Oyster bent, he says.
I hate to feed the ego, but you are vindicated.
(13:25):
Scott says, but that make sure you send this to Eddie. Scott,
who works in the cattle business, says, you actually did
yourself a tremendous disservice. Bullballs when deep fried, maybe a
little catchup are like delicious slightly softer chicken nuggets. Marcel
would love them free to Marcell in Brooklyn. He says,
(13:48):
what you choked down sounds awful. Every time you say vain,
I cringe. And you had to chew and chew. Yeah,
it was like like really thick bubble gum that had
veins in it. And then he he points out Scott
was ripping also Coop and Eddie who's you know? He
said they cannot match, which is true. Uh and uh.
(14:11):
He says if if they were smart, uh, they should
make the delicious fried nugget option. But then he says
there are a couple of dummies and they won't do it. Well,
thank you Scott, very kind there. And he says, legit
Twitter poll was correct, correct the mundo. So that is
a vote of confidence from Scott. This guy works in
(14:32):
the cattle business in Texas. That's you can't get more authentic.
These guys around bull testicles all day long. It's a
little too because I'm because Eddie and Coop would eat
just about anything. Uh, Coop not so much anymore. But yeah,
back in the day, he would for for a price,
he would do anything. Yeah, Chef Scott from ne Orleans
(14:58):
Rights and he says, So, I've been this thing for
a while, but I was hoping you could explain a
few of your favorite sayings, what they mean and the
story behind them. And then he gives me the sayings
and they are both related to the same person, all right,
And here they are, Third round, my may In, don't
(15:19):
bury the lame my Mayan. Yeah, those are the two
that you want to know. What's chef Scott in the bayou?
Thank you, sir for listening again. I appreciate that, um.
And both those are an homage to one of the
senior executives at Fox Sports Radio, Don Martin, a long
time radio programmer. He's to work in Denver and been
(15:39):
in l A forever running a M five seventy and
also the premier networks Fox Sports Radio. And Don is
a big personality and he's one of the bosses. And
if you ever met Don, here's just a few things.
I've been in his office a few times over the years,
and Don's got some catchphrases. I know, Petro some money
do a lot of the knit round Don all the time,
(16:01):
Don Martin, So they do a lot of personations. But
the two things that stood out any time we would
talk about something on the radio that was a little dicey,
a little dicey, and uh, that's a third round on
my end, stay away with the third round on my
end like that, and then uh, and then we we'd
start the show with something. If I'd start the show
and I do something that he didn't think was like
(16:22):
worthy of, like the top story, just a little critique.
Don't bury the lead, my man. You know, so you
gotta start with the lead story, right, don't bury the lead.
Start with what's most important. You don't put it second.
You know, you eat the most important thing first, and
then everything else is after that. So so that's where
those came came from. And see, he says, a theoretical
shout out to all the unemployed restaurant workers and my
(16:45):
fellow chefs me included. Man, that sucks. Man, Yeah, you're
the ones in California and in New York. Now, well,
you gotta keep the faith, man, you gotta keep the
hopefully by what do you think, April or now April?
It's not it's actually not that far away. It is
(17:06):
for a business though like that, Yeah, I know, I know.
And if you're unemployed, it so long time way uh,
and this is I keep up the perfectly adequate production
quality gascon Oh thank you. Yeah, But for some reason,
I don't think he's sincere. But you don't think he
was being honest and truthful and that came from the
heart maybe. But if you, if he definitely was, then
(17:28):
thank you. If not, then uh well, look at my
comments to myself. You've never kept your comments to yourself. Yeah. Yeah,
on here, I'm a little bit more reserved than I
tend to be when I'm talking to you off there. Yeah, okay,
all right, Uh well, thank you again, Chef Scott there
in so he'll he'll write back again. We gotta ask
(17:50):
him what his specialty is, Okay, I don't know, um,
some kind of Southern stuff because he's in New Orleans.
I had some kind of gumbo or something like that.
Maybe you're not like a jump Alive fan, are you? No? No,
I have a pretty basic palette, pretty basic ballot. Glenn
(18:10):
in Chicago writes in, and Glenn says, hey, guys, is
Regina in Minnesota a bit? And if so, is it
Coope's girlfriend? Uh no, We I get asked this sometimes.
I think you're kidding, Glenn, but we do get asked
if some of these people that call the show are characters,
(18:31):
if these are paid actors, and that this is all scripted,
and these are people that just call radio shows, and
they are people that just call radio shows. But we
have no budget, and I assure you that we have
no budget and to do a radio show where you
have a bunch of people that are paid and there
are shows that do that. There's a lot of morning
(18:51):
shows there their services that will have bits where people
will call up as characters on the show, and we
don't have any of that. We're not a morning show.
We're an overnight show. But for whatever reason, I have
always been someone that has attracted a certain type of caller,
and Regina falls in line with that. And credit Card Gordon,
(19:14):
who has nothing to say but calls every show. Um
and he's there, Doc Mike, whup. You'll be happy to know.
I know you didn't hear this the other night guest,
but Doc Mike, the guy that wrote the euro Fapathy
Europathy rather Europathy, which is a book about drinking piss.
He had him call into the show as he's booking guests.
(19:36):
So the guy calls up, we put him on. I
was like, what the hell puts down for a few
minutes and he cursed. We had to hang up on Jesus.
Yeah yeah, and then Doc, I'll have him call back.
He didn't know you couldn't curse. There you go, outstanding
had a We had a couple of new callers this week.
We had a guy named lunch Meat from Texas. It
(19:56):
sounds like my kind of guy. He loves bologny, but
burnt bologny. Man, I haven't had bologne in a long time. Yeah,
I haven't either. I can't remember the last time I
had bologney or full of bologney. Old school days that
would have the lunchables would be the cracker, the bologny
and cheese. I was like way back in the day. Though. Yeah, yeah,
(20:18):
Bologney is still a very popular thing, you know. I
remember the Oscar meyer was the do they have a
bologny jingle? I remember the Oscar buyer jingle from back
of the day. I wish I was an Oscar buyer
weet or remember that? Was there something for bologny? I
kind of vaguely remember something like a slogan for bologny.
I don't remember. I don't either, but I have not
(20:42):
had bologny. Uh, you know I have not had it,
but thank you, Glenn. He says, does gagon have any
other hobbies other than taking selfies and looking in the mirror?
I guess it's a gagon. Do you have any other
hobbies other than taking selfies and looking in the mirror?
I got tons of hobbies, reading, writing, producing some gambling
(21:03):
shows on Friday's um. Exercising is always a good one,
of course, watching sports, watching watching television. Do you watch sports? Yeah,
it's I think it's a hobby. I mean I am
one of the few rare cats that actually watches the NHL.
I'm one of the few rare cats that actually watches
mac football on Tuesdays and Wednesday nights. Cookie on a
(21:27):
gold Star. No, I mean that's that's a rarity. Most
people don't do that. Ship M interesting. Yeah. But I'm
also I'm also a degenerate. I actually have I'm a
part of a college fantasy football league too. Oh is
that right? Yeah? It's pretty bad. Okay, Uh, well again,
thanks Glenn. Uh Coolie from Round Rock, Texas wants us
(21:53):
to play Mary f Kill NFL coaches. Do you want
to play Mary f Kill NFL? Coaches. What the hell
is that? No, you you marry one, you uh f
one and you kill one. Yeah, but isn't that safe
for like your show? Didn't you do that as part
of a game show back in the day or no?
(22:15):
Uh no, I don't. Like we've mentioned it from time
to time, but we've never done a game show. I
mean it sounds like something I would do, but I
don't think we did. Sure. Yeah, okay, so you want
to go first year f mary kill? Which one would
you f? Which would you marry? And which one would
(22:36):
you uh would you kill? Guess? Scouts? So we're talking
about the w n B A yes, no, no, NFL.
We're talking college. We're talking a women's college basketball yes
no no, no, no, no, no no, no, no no no. It
sounds seems like you don't want to play the game.
Apparently you don't want to. You know, it was top
back in the day. Don't take the babies. I was
(22:57):
I was hoping you would, but I'm sorry, Cool, you
didn't take de bait man. I don't have to tell you.
I thought it out there. Pierre from Springfield and his
alter ego Alph the alien o Pinter, What do you
think is the greatest invention of your lifetime outside the smartphone, well,
that would be the Worldwide Web, which is both the
(23:18):
greatest and the worst invention of the at the same time.
It's both the greatest and the worst in mention because
it's wonderful. If I it kind of relates to what
we had with Brad Sham, where it's like too much
of a good thing. It's great that like when I
was a kid, we would some of the grocery stores,
I forget which one. They had a deal like every
week you came in and buy groceries, you could buy
(23:40):
a chapter of the encyclopedia, right, and that's how you
you know, so you build your encyclopedia. You just go
buy your groceries, and then like every week you get
a different letter of the the alphabet or whatever. And
so but now, I mean all that said, your fingertips
on the internet. It's awesome. Whatever you want on the Internet,
it's a wonderful thing. But then it's also a little
(24:01):
bit too much because you have like a you know,
have a couple of things. You have a headache, you
going and you see what you look at like web
m D and you're like, holy crap, I'm gonna die,
you know, So it does cut both ways. What about
you guess the greatest invention in your lifetime. I'll do
your lifetime, since you're a little bit older. But but
it falls into place I don't I don't look older.
(24:23):
You look you look older than me and and obviously
not to be, you know. Piggybacking off of that, I'd
say the m R I. The m R I machines
that were inventive are back in like the late seventies.
But I think with the way that modern technology is,
and with medicine and the evolution, that does wonders, especially
(24:44):
for athletes to get themselves back on the field much quicker,
and of course to get treated faster than than they
would prior to that. Yeah, I like mine better. I
like my answer better. This is a good answer. But
I'm just thank you. I appreciate that it was a
great answer, not just a good answer, the greatest. It's good,
it's decent to be. It was an amazing answer, one
of the great answers ever given on a podcast or
(25:06):
a radio show. Yeah, but I'm gonna win a what
are they I know? In radio? The awards are the
Marconi Yeah, what are the podcast awards. I don't know,
but you have to submit and pay for those submissions anyway,
you actually for the for the podcast. You have to
actually pays going to do that. I have no idea,
Like I know some of the radio trades. Yeah, I've
(25:28):
heard rumors. I don't know if it's true or not,
but I've heard rumors that it's pay to play, like
you'll you'll be one of the top one radio shows
if you're at a check and they'll put you in
there and they'll move you up a little bit, that
kind of thing. Yeah, there's some of that. Actually, she
used to work for Fox and she got she wanted
an Emmy for for sports digital content, and that was
(25:50):
that had nothing to do with the actual content itself
and just had to do more with the name and
and the submission from from said company. But yeah, like
I wouldn't mind winning Marconi. But I think somebody has
to like submit for you right on your behalf. I
think that's somebody told me that. I guess the next
submission time is early next year or something like that.
(26:12):
But who who would actually people that you work with
who would actually submit for you? Oh? No, one I
work with that no one likes me who I work with.
But I would say maybe a listener would do it.
I think a listeners can do it, so sorry, listen.
I could see a crazy, wacky member of the Mallard
militia like, yeah, I'm gonna get my I'm gonna make
him really Mallard Marconi, Maller and I'm gonna send in
(26:34):
this hour and it's gonna he's gonna win a Marconi,
which would be awesome, but I you know, who know, Yeah,
good good luck. The odds are against that. Murray from Saskatoon.
I'm guessing that's not really where he's from, Saskatoon. Maybe
that's just that's just a fun place to say, Saskatoon,
fun city. It's in the top ten, not that we
(26:54):
do list radio, but like top ten silly cities to say,
what about Saskatchewan. Yeah, but like Beaver Dam, Calabazookani, Kalamazoo
Punk Satani Walla Walla Washington. From Walla Walla, Washington to Kalamazoo.
It's an old song before your time. Earlier I used
(27:16):
to be the open of Dodger Baseball. From Walla Walla,
Washington to Kalamazoo's exciting. They do that. If I remember
they took that off the broadcast. People got very upset
back in the back in the sixties seventies. No, this
was in like the nineties. From Walla Walla, Washington Day.
(27:36):
How about tim Buck two. That's another one. That's good
tim Buck to win a Mucca from Johnny Cash win
a mucka rule? What about Death Valley? Yeah, all right,
but it's not as silly as like tim Buck two?
Or was it? Isn't there a Hell Pennsylvania or something
like that. That's pretty funny. I just saw a story
(27:57):
recently that there's a town in Canada, in Quebec that
just changed their name. It was as bestest Canada. The
name of the city was his bestest. Finally, after all
these years, changed their names like crazy. What about Nowhere, Oklahoma? Well,
I used that all the time. That's the one I
that's the bit on the show where I say, hey,
(28:19):
you get a trip to the round trip to nowhere
because it's an unincorporated, unincorporated area of Oklahoma. One of
these years I'll be driving through Oklahoma and I will
purposely go off the beaten path out into the boondocks,
just so there's got to be a sign somewhere this
is welcome to nowhere, Oklahoma. I gotta get a photo
in front of that small that's not even a talent, like,
(28:41):
I don't even lives there, It's just an area of Oklahoma.
I would love to get a photo right in front
in the hinterlands, right in front of that side out
in rural Oklahoma. I think that would be cool bucket
list someday. Someday that's gonna happen. But Murray and Saskatoon says,
who is worse gag On or Record Ralph? Gagon or
(29:04):
Record Ralph? M hm stuff. Well, I don't even really
see Record Ralph much of these days because he doesn't
work the overnight when Eddie's away. Normally I am forced
to work with I forget that guy's name, he's from
San Diego. Get the guy his name, but he's usually
in there. And so yeah, I don't really deal with
(29:26):
the Record Ralph too much and gag on every week.
So you can you win? Congratulations? Congratulations? What do I
get for that? You get to keep doing a marginal
job on the podcast about that? That's good? That good? Right?
Ethan and Akron rights and he's now a podcast only
(29:48):
listener used to listen to the live show, but he's
got the dreaded day job. He says, Guys, do you
have any sporting fan pet peeves, for example, people from
Ohio who are die hard front running Steeler fans and
Ohio State fans, or Ohio State fans who never went
to school there. Ethan says, uh, yeah, even I'm in
(30:09):
trying to think off the top of my head some
of the things that annoy me. I usually talk about
them on the show, so it's not like I I
hide them. Uh. One of the things that just randomly
popped in my head since I read that question, Ethan
was hockey. The original six NHL team fan base that
have this snobby, elitist just like they're like gascon, like
they're better than everyone else because they were part of
(30:31):
the original six. There's like this cartel in hockey. Those
people annoy me. I mean those people. It's been a
long time since the original six were the only the
only teams in town. Move on now, yeah, you're good.
I think the biggest thing that annoys me is when
you have an individual that lives in a certain city
or from a certain city, but they like four or
(30:54):
five different teams from four or five different cities. Yeah,
but I if you grow up in place without professional sports, yeah,
but like I get it. Well, the well perfect example,
the guy that stole the Benny from Main Johnas knocks.
He's a Penguins fan, he's a Celtics fan. Yeah, he
likes South Carolina, he likes the Chicago Cubs. Like he's
(31:17):
all over the map. Yeah, no, I understand. But we
had a guy, uh what was the guy's name? In fact,
last it was last year U when I was was
in Boston in April, I think it was it was
it was Mike or somebody. I forget what it was.
(31:37):
But he he was from in Toronto. But he was
a Clipper fan, because the for whatever he liked the
Clippers isn't I was like it was odd. But he's
a Blue Jay guy and a Clipper guy. So and
then you know, you can also tell like how old
someone is by the fans lading the teams. I like, like,
there's just a certain guys that are like I like
(31:58):
the Miami Dolphins, the Lakes of the Yankees, because those
teams all were good when you were ten years old
and you fell in love with sports. Right, and see
a globbed onto those teams or the Pittsburg Steelers because
they were winning Super Bowls when you were a kidding
all it be uh you know the funny thing about
(32:19):
that kind of deal. Just to piggyback off that is
in in Boston when I started doing stuff, syndicated stuff
in Boston, and the Patriots were terrible, like this is
before they became the dominant dynasty of the NFL, and
we and all these guys call up from Boston. They
didn't want to talk about the Patriots. They were Giants
and Jets fans because the Patriots are so bad. When
(32:39):
they were kids, they moved in the Jets were actually
decent and the Giants were good, so they became fans
of the Giants and Jets because the Patriots never won anything.
And there's still the older generation now. That will not
happen with this next couple of generations because the Patriots
have been great for twenty years. Um, we'll be working here, yes,
(33:00):
working here. We got a lot of young uns and
it is Yeah, it's amazing. When their teams don't win,
they break down. That was that, right, Yeah, it's it
doesn't rival when you had some people that were crying
because of a presidential election. But you got dudes here
that breakdown. They can emotionally distraught when their teams don't win. Yeah,
(33:26):
I maybe it's because of old age, but I've I'm
pretty much numb to it at this point. I'm used
to it. I'm surprised, like I was stunning the Dodgers,
actually one I just expected to do another monologue after
a Dodger blew the world series. And they would have
blown the world series if it wasn't for Kevin Cash
being stupefied, paralyzed and petrified by that decision to take
(33:48):
out his picture and still doubling and tripling down on it,
which is just just wonderful, right, just absolutely wonderful, just
just just great. As they couldn't care less abstude. I
heard the right call, know what the wrong way, but
I made the right good job by you. There you go.
I just had a brain freeze, like eating a slurpee.
He had a slurpee too fast. You had a brain freeze.
That's how that worked, all right. I was next on
(34:10):
the mailbag. Lee in the Valley of the Sun, Lee
and Phoenix, one of your favorites. Gascon. Did he spell
Lee correctly? Wow? That is a disrespectful situation. I likely
Lee's a good guy and leaves a true Mallard militia
foot soldier because I have taken nothing but cheap shots.
They're small, cheap shots because it's about alligator arms. But Lee,
(34:32):
he still loves Joan. He loves the Cardinals. So you
can two things can't be true. He is leading the
charge with the Kyler Murray m v P. Talk right now, please,
I can get behind Lee on that lost to the
Dolphins at home, rookie quarterback, second start. He does not
play MVP. My ass does not play m VP. My
(34:52):
lost to the Detroit Lions at home? Wasn't his? Was
it his fault? That's your m v P. That's great
Cardinal team, a great, great quarterback. Unbelievable, a bunch of lemmings,
a bunch of blind you know what? At least say
get to the point, all right, Like get to the
point please? Lee said, how long have you been with
the same phone number? Why have you not changed it?
(35:13):
My god, I have had the same phone number probably
for thirty years maybe at this point. Yeah, I've had it.
I have, And why don't I change it, well, because
everyone knows the number, which is good and bad. Have
I changed it? I would make Doc Mike vanish for
my life and not have to call me and all
(35:34):
that stuff. Um, but yeah, mainly because that's how people
know me. You know. It's it's painting the ask you
change your number. And there's people that I haven't been
in contact with for a long time, but I know
my numbers still on their phone, so if I call
him up, they'll see on their phone. Hey it's Mallard.
You know that kind of thing. It's good. How long
have you had your number? Gascon two thousand one. I've
(35:57):
been with T Mobiles since they started back back back
in the Are you bragging about your T Mobile relationship? Well, yeah,
it's like it was a unique one I I have.
I've been with T Mobile since their start. And uh,
my first credit card I still have since I was
like eighteen years old. That's kind of ran the same
(36:17):
credit card from when you were eight team same hasn't expired?
Ye expired? About this saying like it's gonna say, I mean,
did you frame it? Did you put it on the
wall and say look at this? No? No, I haven't
not done that. I do do that with my my
old driver's license. Though. Yeah, Hey, when I was doing
the website, I had a burner phone. I was. I
was a brand ambassador for one of the phone companies,
(36:40):
and they sent me a phone. They said, try this
phone out to us to take the hot line. It's great.
The second phone was a great phone, and I used
that random. Now, the phone bill is pretty much the same.
You call anybody's you pay a flat rate pretty much
and that's it. So but back in those days it
was per call, how long you're on the phone. Four
So it was like, great, I could make phone calls
(37:00):
I wanted. Mr Luciato, rights in from Los Angeles, says
question for both in your lifetime, have you have visited
any ghost towns or any abandoned places? Not too much,
I mean other than the tourist trap on the way
to Vegas. You know there's that ghost town out in
(37:21):
Death Valley. I would like to go to some of
those places in Arizona. I don't know if they're really abandoned, though.
There's that town in Arizona that has donkeys walking around,
that old western town. I'd like to check that out.
Passed through there I'm trying to think though, have I
been any real ghost towns. No. I've walked through some
(37:42):
abandoned buildings when I was younger in New York, but
you know, you should stay out of abandon buldingsare's usually
it's just people doing heroin in abandoned building. It's not
a good thing. There's like this kind of some shady
cats that go to those places, right, that's where they
hang out. What about you anyway, Well, historical places. I've
been to Alcatraz, Yeah, take a boat. It's expensive to
(38:07):
get out there. I'd like to go there. Every time
I've been to San Francisco, it's been I can't been
able to get a ticket because it's booked. Yeah, you'd
enjoy it. Um And then of course the I had
to do it obviously for just the history from it.
But going from Germany to Poland, I went to auschwitzen
Berken now and and that's really chilling. But yeah, there's
two and obviously in two separate locations, so we took
(38:28):
a tour bus from one location to the other and
that was just uh, I was obviously amazing at the
same time chilling, But those are those are obviously some
great historical places. Debbie Downer, what about if Alcatraz, if
you took the prison out of the building and just
(38:49):
made that like a home, how much would that land
and the home be worth? Looking at the skyline of
San Francisco. I don't know. You tell me you're Mr Catalina,
What does that mean? Well, it's like it's just a
little island that's off the that's off the coast, even
your own private island. Looking at the skyline of San Francisco,
(39:10):
it's probably it's like fit for like Mark Zuckerberg or
Jack Dorsey. Well, they'd probably just put condos on there.
How big is alco It's not that big. It's very small, right, Yeah,
it's pretty small. So you couldn't really put more than
like maybe a condo. But but why would you do that?
You just build a big house on there? No, you could.
It would be a solid sized lot. And the problem
(39:31):
is obviously the structure there or the balance of it all.
It's not equal footing and grounding at all. But they
just have to dig deep. And how they do they dig?
Digny Matt from Elmira, New York. Right, So, and he
says paper rock, scissors or coin toss to solve minor disputes.
(39:53):
I'm curious what you West Coasters do, said Matt in Elmira,
New York. We call it rock papers is. I don't
call it paper rocks is. I call it rock paper scissors.
That's how we were raised for. For me, um, it's easy.
I flip a penny. It's penny versus you go. Look
at that. Set you up for that. I like rock
(40:14):
paper scissors or paper rocks is or whatever you call it.
But I like that always going with rock rocks a
solid choice. Sometimes I'll mix it up. I'll use the
Malley maneuver dynamite. Malley maneuver. Throw that in there, rock
paper scissors dynamite. Yeah, and then the scissors beats the
dynamite because you cut the string on the scissors. That's
(40:35):
how that works there. That's the key as a veteran move.
And the paper see that that beats the rock, right,
the paper beats the rock. And then yeah, I got
you all right, And most people don't pick paper because
it's weak. So alright, last one, last one? Are you
ready for the final question? Drumroll? Please? Are here we go?
(41:01):
Some Adrian in the mile high Citi. He's just been
I have been wanting to try raising canes chricken finger.
I'll try the Broomfield, Colorado location. What is the mather especial? Again,
I'm not a fan of Coleslaw either. Thanks. All right, Yeah,
so here's what I get. It's a very hearty meal, Adrian.
So I hope you're a big guy. You like a
big meal. So you go in there. You get the
(41:22):
Kenny At combo. That's the biggest combo. That's a six
piece combo. With the fries, the Texas toast, the Coaslaw.
Here's the move, A couple of veteran moves. All right.
First of all, you say I want no Coaslaw, extra fries,
no coastal extrifies. And then with the Texas toast, I
would like it both sides because they only cook it
on one side unless you you tell them specifically. So
(41:46):
I have him cooked on both sides and it is amazing.
Guest guy, you love raising canes, right, Yeah. I don't
recommend having raising canes cold, especially if you're hosting a
party and you're I recommend you show up on time
to the party so the food is not cold. How
about that? There are ways to keep warming food warm,
but you know it's it's fine. Yeah. One way to
(42:07):
keep food warm is to show up when the food
is served. You know, it's like you was such a lightweight.
I remember, like my mom, dinner is at eight o'clock.
If you show up at nine o'clock, dinners at eight o'clock,
you get what you get. Deal with it. This is
how I can tell you had a horrific dating life
because you would never go to a club or a
bar when it opened up. It's an amateur move. It's
(42:29):
a bad job by you. It's not a bar. It's
never a bar. It's a if you want to eat, listen.
If you you want to eat at the party, you
show up when the food is served. You should have
a little have the decency. You should show up when
the food is served. Have a little burner underneath each
tray and keep there was a burner. It ran out.
You showed up three hours after the party started. What
(42:51):
are we supposing I'm supposed to have a corn area
because Gascon showed up three hours late and wanted fresh food.
And by the way, Rob Parker showed up to that
party late and robbed and complain he ate the chicken
with a smile on his face. That's a little bit different.
That's respect. That's because that is respect. That's because the
food was free, and so Rob never turns down a
free meal. No, he didn't complain. No, he's like, listen,
(43:12):
I like this. It's a good meal. Thank you very much.
He was very kind. I was wonderful you it's a
cavalcado complaints. Yeah, because the tough guy, gas guy. Because
the year before that, you send me a text at
twelve o'clock at night, here are you coming over the funker.
I just got the invitation from you right now to
come over for the Christmas party. No, I'm not coming over.
You're lucky you got the invitation. I bet people beg
(43:35):
for that. Brian Finley begged to come to that party.
He invited himself. Who does that? He invited himself. That
guy still well, we used to I don't know if
you know him, but he used to work the way.
He also, I want to go to the party. I mean,
all these guys must must visit party. Then half the
(43:55):
people don't even show up. So it's wonderful. I'm expecting
gas money this year. It's a long Drive. There's no
party this year. You can blame King Newsom. His majesty
has spoken, and so until his majesty decides to open
things up there we'll have an extra spring party. Jesus. No, no,
(44:16):
it's open. If it's over in spring, maybe the monarchy
will allow us there. No, there'll be something else that
they want to keep us locked down for. Oh is
that right? Yeah, give me an inches to take a mile.
I've heard that before. I think I saw that on
a bumper stick or somewhere back in the day. All right,
that'll do it again. Thank you all. If you're listening
to this podcast early on Sunday Benny Versus the Penny,
(44:37):
check that out before the games kick off. There's a
lot of late games today too, so more late games
than ever because of the Masters and CBS not doing
any early games of the NFL. So if you want
to check out any of the NFL content, it's on YouTube.
Just search Benny Versus the Penny Back on the Radio
(44:58):
tonight Tonight, back on the Radio, breaking down all the
NFL games, the good, the bad, and the ugly from
the weekend that was. And also still got that that's
a Monday night game as well to talk about as well,
But we'll get to all of that then and we'll
catch you next time. Thanks. Be sure to catch live
editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am
(45:20):
Eastern eleven pm Pacific
Host
Ben Maller
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