February 14, 2021 • 39 mins
A lot more run n gun with the listeners this weekend as the fellas dip into the mailbag.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific boom.
If you've thought more hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
(00:21):
poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
starts right now. Enriching your life. Yeah, that's what we're
enriching your life, unless we're not. It's the Sunday edition
of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and David Gascon
(00:46):
Because four hours a night are not enough. Eight days
a week, eight days a week, and we welcome into
this a deep dive. We are going to do the
deep die. It's kind of like a wreck dive because
we are going to go through the mail bag, the good,
the bad, and the ugly, and we look forward to
(01:08):
that and so we do that on this edition. Now,
before we get into the mail bag, Cameo cameo, cameo
cameo dot com. You want a personalized video message, I
want a mini Mallard monologue and I and something I
haven't talked about that you want me to talk about
you just want me to rant about you. I can
do that. I don't know you, but I can rant
(01:31):
about you anyway. So cameo dot com on there. Check
that out. And obviously all these social media channels, Ben
Mallard's show on Facebook, Ben Mallard on Fox, for the
Booty Models on Instagram, and just Ben Maller on Twitter.
So all of that available to you. And yes, go on,
You're on cameo as well, and you were hornswoggled into
(01:51):
doing a glowing cameo tribute to yours. Truly, I was
appreciate that. Make sure you can follow me on Twitter
for all your latest and greted stock advice. I can
definitely hop out in that kind of capacity. I'm the
stock guy. I'm the I'm the stock guy. Listen, my
um my positions are strong right now. I just leave
it at that. You're just ripping stuff off Wall Street
(02:13):
bets or whatever is all. I definitely have not doing that.
I haven't gotten down a dark web of of Reddit
and um and if I did, I would be owing
a lot more than the market. The last few days
did not go that well as we're doing the podcast.
So but you know the upside down, you're in the
long game. On man, you're not in the short game.
(02:34):
You're in the long game. That's write all aggressive all
the time. It would be a little bit different if
I was in a different age bracket, but that's not
the position of them in right now. So I don't know.
If you have a mirror in your house, you might
want to look at the mirror because you change your
perspective on investing. Yeah, I'm just saying, I don't know.
I do need a haircut drifting along a little bit there.
We do need some thumbs up and some five stars
(02:56):
and some reviews in the podcast on Apple iTunes. So
if you guys can a your lazy asses over there
and dropped me a kind note, I'd appreciate it. That. Yeah,
I mean, let me point out that, Um, you might
think that doesn't matter who the hell cares. And I've
said this before and I'll say it again. You know
I would agree with you, like it's just that you
know who reads the reviews. But trust me, people who
(03:17):
have corner offices and make a lot of money and
decide who gets what and where they value that crap.
So who am I to judge? But it just it's
simple to do. I't it's a pain in the ass,
but it's not that hard. It's painless and it does
help us out. Speaking of corner offices, since most people
aren't even operating out of an office anymore, have you
(03:38):
gotten any more any more stories from I'm a Pilot?
Oh you know, I'm a pilot sent me a wonderful hat.
I I am so, I am hat rich. Guess the
Mallard militia has rallied around rallied around me. And I'm
(04:00):
a pilot is so because you know he's listen, he's
more of my friend than your friend. You think he's
your friend. He's horn swoggled you into thinking you know
that that you guys are tighten all that, but you're not.
But I'm a pilot, he he said me in this
really cool hat. It's from the Montgomery Biscuits, but it's
got Yeah. But my my my thing is I try
(04:22):
to I have a lot of different hats, but my
but the hats I go to the most often. I
love college hats from random colleges. And I love hats
with either B for Ben, like the Brooklyn Dodger hat
that I'm wearing right now, or the B for the
Bakersfield Blaze that you destroyed. That's a team you're ruined.
I have that and then and then I don't have
(04:43):
too many M hats, but this Montgomery Biscuits it's it's
like a classical looking hat. It's got the M on it.
And so that's pretty cool. And thanks to all the
hat benefactors. That was very nice. But that cheered me up.
You know, I was pretty depressed, as you might imagine.
Uh And I went to get the mail and I
hadn't picked up the mail in a very long time,
and there were a lot of people were very nice,
(05:04):
and I thank you guys. I do appreciate that. It's
very nice. But I'm a pilot was one of the
people that was the hat benefactor, the hat benefactor, so
that was that was pretty cool. He sent that in
nothing for you though I didn't see anything for you. Yeah,
I didn't see anything for you. Very nice, very kind.
I want to point that out. Uh So, is there
(05:24):
anything else that we need to get to before we
get into the mail. Bag. I'm trying to think of
anything else that I wanted to get to here. Let's
see you check that box, check that box. Uh No,
I think we'll just get into it. Yes, yeah, that's fine.
All right. This is the actual mailbag. These are questions
sent in by random listeners like yourself. If you would
like to submit a question for a future edition of
(05:45):
the Mailbag, you can do that two ways now. The
most popular way is on the show Facebook page. Ben
Mall Show Wednesday, usually in the morning West Coast time,
early morning West Coast time, mid more ng on the
East coast. I will post a message. Normally attached is
(06:06):
some fine art from Ostrich Aunt, who was just an
amazingly talented artist, just an amazingly talented artist. And he
draws his little cartoon drawings and he's you think of
the greats? Do you think of Michael Angelo, Van Gold, Rembrand, Matisse,
Da Vinci and Austro chant No, he's he's this guy
(06:30):
is great, more like a Vermier. Maybe one of my favorites.
I quote this guy lies Andy Warhol. Andy Warhol had
had a great line and anything, uh and everything can
be art, Anything and everything could be art, and uh,
and that's good. And one of his other quotes was
life is just a series of images that change as
they repeat themselves. But that's Austro chance. So anyway, first
(06:51):
question comes from John the Jailer and Allan Town, Pennsylvania.
He says, bent the Costco food sample warres have returned.
Have you been able to bartake John? This is a
great question. I was just at Costco the other day.
I go to Costco at least once a week, sometimes
twice a week. Uh. The answer is no, because in
(07:11):
California it's the biggest teas in the world. What they've
done at the local Costco where I live. They do
have the sample workers back at Costco, but they don't
actually have the samples. They sit at the same tables
they used to give out the good East the stuff
back in the day, and they sit there and they
(07:32):
have like if they're That was in the Costco a
couple of days ago, as I said, and they had
a they were trying to get the granola bars, trying
to get people to buy granola bars. So they had
the woman who had the woman was sitting there and
she had the Costco sample outfit on and she was
at a little table, and then she had a granola bar,
and then there was a plastic container over the granola bar,
(07:54):
so you could observe the granola bar, but you could
not actually eat a sample of said granola bar. So
it's bull crap. It's absolute bull crap, is what it is.
And so you know, I don't know that's because a
king New summer or whatever, but you can't they're not
actually handing out the samples. Now, when they do, I'll
do the hokey pokey. I'll put my right foot in,
(08:16):
I'll take my right foot out, you know, the whole thing.
I'll put my right hand in, I'll take my Yeah.
But they don't have that right So don't point that.
You don't go to Costco because you're west of the
four oh five. So you go there for gas, whole
foods probably, I would imagine you Whole Foods is really
taxing on a paycheck. Yeah, I I have a relative
(08:37):
of my in law is one of them live over Unfortunately,
west of the four or five. I did go to
the Costco in I think it's in Torrance, and there's
like a car wash. Yep, there's a car wash there. Yeah,
right next never I've never seen I've never seen a
costco with the car wash. We do things a little
bit differently West of the four or five better, bigger, sexy, better,
(09:00):
more efficient, just your standard car wash. I didn't think
it was any better than any other car wash. They
had a car cost effective. Yeah, something sweet about being
west of the four or five. All right, Chris and
Iowa writes in He's got a couple of points he
wants to make. Chris says the Sunday podcast was missing
the beginning, there was no intro and in the middle
(09:22):
of a question, so I guess something happened in the
middle of a question. This is Chris and Ila just
complaining in again, touch up on that kind of a
customer service, a weekly tradition from Chris and Ila. What
can I bitch about to the Chris and Ila. So
you're saying there's no customer satisfaction guarantee for the fifth
(09:43):
hour podcast? Is that what you're saying? No, I mean
any guarantees. So guess saying go fund yourself. There you go,
very nice. Do not be a discerning customer at all? No, no, no,
I guess Gon does not like that. It's a willer
Coaster of Life. That is the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller,
Chris and Iowa says music on or off during sex?
(10:07):
He says he votes no, and Chris, of course, it
depends on where you are in life. Uh. You know,
on a certain point in my life, I didn't care
if there was music, if there was an opera playing.
It was just getting getting a little bit of action.
There was all that. But I don't think back. But
sometimes some music in the backgrounds. Fine, doesn't it doesn't matter.
I don't I don't really have I don't hate it
(10:29):
needed but anyway, Jeff from Clarksville, Indiana, just across the
Ohio River from Louisville, says, what is the absolute best
prank you have ever pulled on someone? And who was? Oh? Man? Yeah,
I mean I'm trying to think what I could say that. Actually,
you know, the statue of limitations is run out, but
the one that mean it's kind of a cheese ball.
(10:51):
One we used to do before the internet really blew
up was every April fools Day. It was usually the
start of baseball right around April fools Day, and there
was a buddy of mine who I would fool every year.
I would take an old AP story about a trade,
and then I would change the words around the teams
and the players so it looked like an official AP
(11:13):
wire story, and I would just I would send an
email to my my friends, did you see this? I
cut I don't worry, I copied and pasted it for you.
And it was some big trade and the dummy would
he would fall for it, like every like two out
of three years he fell for the same thing. And
then there's the other standard standard pranks that you would
(11:34):
do back in in high school and all that. Um,
but I mean, I don't think there's anything outside the norm.
What about you guess I'm big prankster. No, I mean
I was, but there's nothing I can disclose here. It's
just it's not reliability reasons. Yeah. Yeah, it was very immature. Alright,
(11:55):
Big Mike, not the Big Mike that works at Fox
Sports trade. This is a different Big Mic, not to
be confused with our Big Mike. Big Mike in Courtland,
New York, and he says, in the last three weeks,
the price of gasoline has gone up nearly thirty cents.
I wonder why how is it in California? Is awful
it's hovering towards four dollars right now. It's anywhere between
three fifty and three eight spots I've seen. Yeah, it's
(12:19):
it's brutal. It's we call that the Biden effect is
what we call that. But California, it's hard to really
get a read on this because we pay isn't it
like a dollar fifty right? In taxes per gallon? How
much is it per gallon onto? It's it's it used
to be fifty cents. I think it's closer to a
dollar now in gas tax federal and local gas tax
(12:40):
in California. So the same gas that you would get
in Texas, for Oklahoma, for you know, two dollars and
ten cents in California, as you pointed out, would be
three dollars. And you know something. So it's but fear
not the minimum wage will be praised and that will
(13:01):
still be applicable for people in New York and in California.
Is it wrong to point out that we should try
to get people to not work for the medimu to
uh that that is the floor. You don't want to
be the floor. You want to be on the ceiling.
You want to be at the floor. You want to
strive to be closer to the ceiling. And is that?
Why did? Why is that so bad? Why are you
the bad person if you say that? I don't know
(13:22):
the world we live in. H yeah, Oh, people get triggered.
Do you see the other day? Um, what's the the
guy that the investment guy? Jim Kramer? No, not Jim Kramer. Um,
he does a radio show. Trying to think of the
guy's name, and it's like how to save money for retirement?
(13:42):
Not Charles Paine, No, No, he's Um, what's the guy's name?
I'm trying to think of the Dave Ramsey. That's Dave Ramsey.
So Dave Ramsey. The other day he went on a
rant on TV and he said he didn't believe in
the stimulus check. He didn't care whether it was like
(14:05):
six d um and he didn't give a change your life,
he says. He says, if that did change your life,
you were pretty much screwed anyway. That is what he was.
But which is the same argument about the minimum wage? Right, Like,
if you're you know, I understand you start out, maybe
you're doing the minimum wage, but at some point you've
got to find a way to get above that. And
(14:28):
that was like Ramsey was just getting destroyed, right, he
was just getting destroyed for debunking debunking the stimulus check.
Then yeah, I actually read a couple of articles that said,
if you really wanted to be true to inflation, the
minimum wage should actually be twenty four dollars in this country. Well,
there was a guy the other day that had a
(14:49):
good point, and it shouldn't The minimum wage should not
be the same. Forget where I saw this, but it
shouldn't be the same in New York and California as
he is in Oklahoma's cheaper to live in Oklahoma, right,
seper live in Kansas than it is in California should
be higher in California, New York and lower in those places. Right, Yeah,
I don't get it, but I mean throw her at
(15:09):
right now on my own. Well, man, we gotta treat
everyone the same even though they don't pay the same taxes,
you know, and think, come on, it's ridiculous anyway, all right,
thank you for that big Mike Kevin in Kansas, right,
since says Mr Mallard and Mr Gasca, thank you for
the three weekly fifth hour podcast. How about this guy
Kevin's appreciative. Yeah, he's appreciative. My idea continue. Really yeah,
(15:35):
all right, he says. I listened to them, and as
I do some long runs on the weekends working out,
how about that, keep running. Breathe breathe in, breathe out,
breathe in, breathe out. Kevi At. Another question is, don't
slack Kevin? Run harder, you jackass, run harder. And as
he's running on a trail concrete, sand or grass, I'm
(15:57):
gonna say he's in Kansas, it's cold, he's on a redmill.
How about that. I'm gonna say he's on a track,
like one of those wood chip trails and tracks. Well,
it could be like that guy Mark the Walker in
Rochester who's out every morning at like three in the
morning in ten degree weather with snow walking around Rochester
for some reason, I don't know why, but he does
(16:18):
it and walking we go or whatever. He says. Its
trademark guy. But this is listen to this sucking up.
I think this Kevin in Kansas is actually you. Well,
I think it's you or your dad or your you know,
one of your relatives there, because Kevin says, not only
is your chemistry perfect for the format. I'm always learning something.
(16:39):
How did you match up this partnership, he says. Was
it a try out of forced pairing that worked or
just blind good luck? He says, keep up the great shows. Well, Kevin,
that's tremendous, tremendous sucking up. I I mean, you just
gave me a bubble bath, is what you did, and
may any and a petty and I thank you for that.
(17:02):
But we were forced. It's a forced marriage, forced marriage
by management and uh gascon trying to get out of
the marriage. As you know, he's missed a lot of
time on the podcast. As you know, he does not
like doing the podcast, but we we drag him in
here occasionally to do the podcast. We do. Yeah, I'm here.
That's how that your partnership began. Forced marriage. We brought
(17:25):
the old guy from the terrestrial radio world into the
digital frame and now here. Shot Gun wedding, shotgun wedding.
Have you been to any of those like in shotgun weddings? Yeah,
any of those or even um uh you know, like
could he get um on the tip of my tongue
when you go to like Vegas just on driven by them? Yeah,
(17:46):
when they have the little wedding parlors or whatever. Yeah,
I mean I've sure been by those, have I had?
You know, I did not. I I eloped. I went
to Hawaii away from everyone, on a deserted beach. Yeah,
but you didn't. I mean, can you consider your wedding
in a lope because you had you know, you had
you guys were both dressed up. Well yeah, but we
were dressed up and we had a person. We had
the person doing the wedding, uh, you know, reading the vow,
(18:09):
you know, having us go through the ceremony, and then
we had a camera person that was it. Who is
your witness? The camera person? Because we did we didn't
know anybody. I mean, we were you know, I've never
I've been to Kwai when I was a kid, but
I didn't know anybody and on the Garden Island. I
love Kauai. Okay, if it wasn't so far away from
I just moved there. So great. It's good man, paradise, Man,
(18:31):
it's paradise. What a beautiful place. So when you got there, though,
did you have to fly into Honolulu and then take
a small plane over? How did that work? Well? No,
they have direct flights into Kauai but we got we
were offered a deal. We got bumped. So we did
actually fly into Honolulu and then go to Poi poo. Uh.
(18:51):
We we took the flight over there because uh, they
gave us some funny money for future flight. Yeah. So
I was like, we all had to wait a couple
extra hours. So we just like sat at L A
X and waited and you know whatever, read our phones
and made a made a extra money. I always back
when planes were full all the time, I loved getting bumped,
(19:12):
bumpitty bump. I loved it because you get a little
extra phony money future trips. It's the way to do
it unless you really have to be somewhere. All right,
Charlie in Memphis and he says, uh, what the hell
do you mean by salad days? He says, what the
hell do you mean by salad days? Since I'm not
a degenerate gambler, how does plus or minus one fifty
(19:34):
or any other number equate to the percentage of odds?
All right, so you've got two things here, and well
I'll hold your hand and I'll walk you through these
two things. Now, as far as the salad days, that
is actually showing how smart I am I'm when I
use the term salladays. That is a Shakespearean expression. Salad
days goes back to Shakespeare, and it's from one of
(19:56):
Shakespeare's places. It means a younger point in your life. Uh,
innocence in discretion, Uh, those type of things. Uh. You
know like Tom Brady, you would say his salad days
were with the Patriots even though he just won a
(20:16):
Super Bowl, but his glory days were were a few
years ago. So that it's just another way. It's a
cute way of saying you were better then. You know
my salad days when I was doing local mid days
in l A. That is, you know that those are
my salad days. Yeah, not working with you. As far
(20:36):
as the odds are concerned, well, plus minus the way
this works, I'll give you the Simpleton version as I
know it. So minus would be the favorite, right minus me.
So like if I if it was minus one fifty,
that would imply there's a sixty percent chance that something's
gonna happen, that a team is gonna win the game.
So and then the underdog is the plus. So if
(20:59):
it's plus one fifty, that implies that there's only a
forty percent chance. So that's that's how that works. I mean,
you can go as high as you want. You know,
you can go. If it's plus three thousand, that would
mean there's only a three percent chance, and obviously if
it's minus three thousand, there's almost a ninety seven percent
chance of something happening. Well, again, that's the those are
(21:21):
the implied odds. And obviously they set the line the casino,
the sports book. They just want equal money. They don't
care who wins. They want to win and the way
they win. They set the opening line. It's the gambling
public that actually establishes the final line, and if you
(21:41):
bet too much on either side, they'll adjust the line
to try to get people to bet the other way.
And then don't forget for the gambling purposes, if it's
minus one fifty, you have to bet a hundred and
fifty dollars to win one hundred dollars. And if you
bet one hundred dollars and it's plus one fifty and
you win, you get paid out a hundred and fifty dollars.
(22:03):
I don't know, I don't think that's quite the If
you bet a hundred, yeah, well you have to, you
would win a hundred dollar bet the payout, you would
win sixty six you bet if you bet a minus
one fifty, right, if you bet a hundred dollars on
a minus one fifty, you would win. The payout would
(22:26):
be a hundred and sixty six point six seven, So
you would win sixty six dollars and sixty seven. Yeah.
But what what I'm saying is you'd have to bet a
hundred fifty dollars to win a hundred dollars. Uh, no,
what do you mean? I don't think you're right. Yes,
if it's minus one fifty, you have to bet, you
have to bet a hundred fifty dollars to win a
(22:46):
hundred dollars. Yes, yes, you're wrong. I'm not wrong, all right.
And what was the other question? Was that I think
those are both all right? Uh? Let's see here. I
think this is car those in Houston. I think I
didn't write down the name bad job by me. Maybe
you didn't put the name in here with me. I
didn't put it in there. Uh, he says, Hey, Ben,
(23:09):
have you heard any news about Oh, this is not
from Cross, it from somebody else. Have you heard of
any news about what ballparks may have fans of this season.
If so, any potential news of a possible Stros booing trip, Yeah,
I haven't seen it. You know, Baseball starting here soon,
spring training starting, and I have not seen the list
(23:31):
of who's in and who's out. I would like to
think that if even New York is going to allow
fans at games, they announced this week the King of
New York that they're going to allow the Dictator. There's
gonna allow ten percent attendants and sporting events in those cities.
So I'd hope that the Yankees and Mets will have
some fans. I would assume that Texas they could have
(23:53):
had fans last year, but Baseball did not allow it.
So I would assume that Houston and and also the
Texas Rangers will have have fans. The teams in Florida,
who generally don't have fans, will have fans. I would
think anywhere below the Mason Dixon line you're gonna have
some level of fans, which is like the Astros. You
go down the list there the teams in the South
(24:15):
Cincinnati Reds combat. But I haven't planned a booing trip.
I'd like to do that. That would be a lot
of fun. How about the renovated Dodgers Stadium for the
season and no fans have been allowed in Dodgers state.
And they spent a ton of money redoing the outfield,
the pavilions at Dodger Stadium and no fans allowed in.
(24:38):
They did that for the All Star Game, which they
didn't have. Likes Pierre in Springfield, Massachusetts rights and says,
can you pay off your teas regarding your dust up
with t o Also have you had any other memorable
confrontations with in the past while interviewing celebrities. Of course, Uh,
we've gone through some of those. I had. There was
(25:00):
a baseball player named Tony Phillips that wanted to fight me.
He was playing for the Angels they were collapsing in
the mid nineties, and I asked him questions he didn't like.
He wanted to punch me. There there was a famous
NBA player from years gone by, Benoit Benjamin, who also
wanted to punch me. Matt Williams, the former San Francisco
Giant third basement He was playing for the Diamondbacks of
(25:20):
the time. He got into it with me. Todd Hunley,
former met catcher, he was playing for the Dodgers. He
got upset with me. But the ship, the one with
t O, was actually at a Clippers game on Valentine's Day.
This is when t O was suspended from the Philadelphia Eagles.
He was he was in the doghouse in philadelph Remember
(25:41):
that was the whole working out on the front lawn
if you're old enough to remember that he was. He
was working out and doing interviews and it was very
odd and awkward. Well after that, he came to l
A and he was at a Clipper game and they
were playing, I believe, the Atlanta Hawks on Valentine's Day.
And so I was doing a show with Chris Smiers
at the time on Fox Sports Radio, and I attempted
(26:04):
to very politely go up to t O and ask
him to come on the radio show as a guest,
because I thought he would have been a good guest.
He was in the news a lot. We were talking
about him every day anyway, and t O was a
complete douche nozzle and then proceeded to yell at me
and tell me to contact his publicist. And I remembers
(26:25):
like pointing out, well, why why would I need to
talk to your publicist. I'm right your face to face here.
I mean, we're belly to belly. What's the I mean,
why do I need to talk to somebody else? Can't
you take care of your own business? And uh, he
didn't appreciate that, and and then that was it. Yeah,
that's my TEO story. Emmett, the blind Seahawk fan in Olympia, Washington, said,
(26:46):
why does Gagon hate recording the Fifth Hour podcast? All right,
you want to answer that? Blind Emmett, blind Sea kind
of a comment is that? What kind of a question
is that? I think it's a good question. It's a
question that people want to know. I mean this, you
come in here, that people were giving back. It's an
(27:07):
act of public service when you get paid a lot
for this, which I think is the answer to the question.
But come in here and uh, you know you're giving
back to the world. You're making people like that guy
in Kansas, right, the guy running around there Kevin and Kands,
you're making him feel better. That's different. Though he appreciates it,
I get the sense that certain people don't appreciate it
(27:27):
at all. There's always a certain percentage of assholes. Would
people actually appreciate the podcast versus do not appreciate the
fact that we're coming in here extra and that I'm
getting no sleep on day to come in and record
the podcast when I'm supposed to be resting. Uh. Yeah,
I think it's it's one of these things that people
just take for granted. Yeah, Like it's I think it's
(27:50):
one of the things that you just think happens. Like
you think, you know, some people just show up. And
I spent a lot of time getting ready for the
show and not bragging or whatever. But it's you know
a lot of people think you just roll in there
and talk about sports and there's no preparation and all that,
or you come in and do the podcast, and so
this is like it's just kind of there. It's kind
of it's it's one of the things. And I said this,
and I talked to Rob Parker's class at USC. I said,
(28:12):
the thing about radio and broadcasting is it's once it
becomes ingrained in your life, it's part of your routine,
but you don't appreciate, right, It's like you just expected
to be there when you need it, like you know what,
and then like you know, your fans, your fan of
the show, you listen to it, you know it's there.
You might not listen every day, and some days you
probably don't listen. But if you wanted to listen, you
(28:34):
know it's there, but you don't know what goes into it.
Not that we're like changing the world and reinventing the
wheel here, we're not. It's not a new mouse trap.
It's the same mouse trap. I am it also asked
he's the blind Stak fan from Olympia, Washington, and he says,
if you could have a Mallard burrito, what would be
(28:54):
in it? Oh, I'd like a Mala burrito. It would
be a big, oversized burrito. Massive and uh, well, I'm
pretty simple with the burrito. And now remember the chef
from New Orleans. He did not respond, by the way,
when he asked what ingredients we would put in the
food dish, he did not respond, So I don't think
he liked the increase. But the Mallar burrito obviously be um,
(29:17):
you know, a meat based burrito with a lot of cheese.
I'd I'd have garlic, bell peppers, a lot of bell
peppers in there, some spicy hot salsa. Uh, a little rice,
not too much rice, because I don't one of the
problems with the rice and the burrito. Rice is so cheap,
they often put too much rice in there. There's not
(29:38):
a it's there's a proper ratio when you have rice
and the burrito. And my experiences often they put way
too much rice in the burrito and there's not enough
meat in the burrito. So but that's that's it. I mean,
that's pretty much. You know, a really hot spicy salsa.
Um a meat or chicken. I do chicken. I do chicken. Uh.
And then you you have the cheese, you have the
(30:00):
the bell pepper, the garlic, and I think that would
be a wonderful, wonderful burrito. Sounds good. What would the
gascon Barrie, you love burrito. You eat those breakfast burritos,
that's your right, Yeah, I think I would go. I'd
go mixed meat. So I do chicken and Carna soda
for sure. Mixed meat. Is that a mismatch? Is that
Marcel and Brooklyn? Miss? I mean, they got a bunch
(30:21):
of places that do mixed meat. So I'll surprise you
didn't say like carnetas'd be like more of a port guy.
I don't know, because when you get oh, Fred Witch
mccad um, tetos tetos. Yeah, you go, don't you go
carnitas or you go chicken. They don't have no, I don't.
I just eat the taco I don't know. Whatever it is,
(30:42):
mystery meat. Whatever is the shredded beef. That's what it is,
like beef. Yeah, they can't go roll with sauce, of
course I like that and then probably throw some some bacon,
some sausage, and maybe some eggs in it. Yeah, my
burrito is better than your burrito. Hey man, we're in California.
We can't go wrong. We can't go wrong with Mexican
food in southern California, all right. Jeff from Clarksville, Indiana,
(31:06):
across the Ohio River in Louisville, Kentucky, says he's back again.
He says a favorite cartoon as a child, Transformers Anything
on a Saturday morning, that was a big deal. And
as an adult looking back on it, I was like, oh,
I mean that's the day you could sleep and as
a kid, but Saturday morning cartoons a lot of juice.
We're awesome, We're amazing. But I you know, I think
(31:28):
the cartoons were like the flint Stones, the Jetsons during
the week, like Tom and Jerry cartoons, the Looney Tunes
with the road Winner and the Coyote, and like, uh,
who's the guy the red the redhead with the gun
in the Looney Tunes they got they took the gun
(31:48):
away from him now because everyone's woke. Yeah, I forget
the character, but like those and then like Fat Fat
Albert on the weekends we saw some of that. Um
the superhero cartoons, g I Joe, I loved iled all those.
I mean, I don't know, but I guess you say
(32:09):
only two Jetson's Flintstones. I watched those a lot. Interesting. Yeah,
ah right, what else do we have here? Ramon in
Virginia Beach? Right? Since this, do you think the Super
Bowl was rigged? I know you're not a conspiracy theorist,
but if you were, uh, well, listen, I I've said
this on the show Ramon that I'm nine no, but
(32:33):
I leave a five percent window open. It's one of
the things I often bring up as a conversation I
had with High Tower from the Police Academy movies. Uh,
and he had played with the Baltimore Colts. I'm talking
about Bubba Smith, better known as High Tower from the
Police Academy trilogies, and he swore that that was a
(32:56):
fixed that he lost the Super Bowl to Joe Namath
in Bowl three. He was nineteen sixty nine, right around
the nineteen Yeah, so anyway, he claimed it was fixed,
and and other other people Dwight Smith, who played with
Tampa Bay and had a bunch of interceptions in the
Super Bowl just this last ten days or so, said
that's the same thing. The only thing gives me reason, well,
(33:19):
not the only thing. The main reason I don't believe
a hundred percent or you know, I'm only at five
percent is I just think it would have gotten out more,
you know what I mean, Like people can't keep secrets.
People can't keep see especially in the age of social media.
Although you can censor stuff on social media, so I
guess there's ways around it. Um anyway, I just keep
(33:39):
it going here. Who else do we get a few
more rapid fire? Rat tat tat here, rat tat that,
Jimmy Right, since it's been your choice sports talk, morning drive, afternoon,
second shift or overnight or TV, all of it pay
the same two hundred fifty thousand dollars a year. Well,
(33:59):
all things beings. I love doing overnight sports radio, um,
and so I would probably keep doing that. But TV,
you do like a half hour TV you get paid
the same, so cost benefit, analysis and effort into it.
And TV there's like seventeen producers for everything that you
do in the TV world. So I'd go for quality
(34:20):
of life. I'd go. TV Mark in Ottawa says, would
you drink an entire bottle of ranch dressing to guarantee
the Clippers winning the championship this season? No, I will
not drink the devil's blood market will not happen, but
the Clippers will win the championship, so it doesn't matter.
Day from Mill Valley, California. This question for Ben and Gascon.
Do you ever get approached on the street by Fifth
(34:43):
Hour podcast groupies wanted to get to know you a
little bit better? Well, Gascon, I understand does have relations
with groupies from the podcast. Nothing wrong with that. I
do not. I do not. I have been occasionally recognized,
which is odd because how could you recognize someone from
the radio, especially you, because you've had like three or
(35:05):
four different bodies in your lifetime. Yes, yes, I actually want.
We mentioned Tito's Tacos. One time I was at Tito's tacos.
You should go there every week, twice a week. I
still go there twice a week, and I lived closer.
I love that place. That's the holy land of the
crunchy taco. But that guy and I was like, I
was online and the guy you Bett Maller, I was like,
that was awkward. Yeah, I'm here, I'm ordering seventeen tacos. Yes,
(35:28):
that's me. I'm about to be a big fat, large ass.
That's me. Welcome in, Yes, all right? Chris in any Town,
Iowa says, what's your record for predicting Super bowls? Now?
After failing so badly this year? Chris, guess which finger
I'm holding up? Chris number one? Nober r J and
(35:52):
San Antonio says, what is your go to song or
what was your go to song during high school? Yeah?
It wasn't really. I wasn't like into I don't. I
don't think I had a song when I was in
high school. So I'm in the music now. But I've
I've said I have a weird relationship with music. I
like it, but I'm not like a music snob, you
(36:13):
know what I'm saying, Like I like upbeat stuff, but
then I'll when i'm working, I listened to when I'm
preparing for the show. I often have classical music on
just because it's kind of calming and I get stressed out.
So what about you, guest, gun An he go to music.
But the Beatles were big when you were in high school, right,
and I really didn't have any go too, but you know,
Drolling Stones were popular, I think. I think during football season,
(36:37):
I was always thunderstruck, right, like pregame rituals. And yeah,
we lived in a good time though, Like you know,
Pearl Jam was great, Metallica, Sound Garden, Green Day, Um, Nirvana,
Like those bands are fucking great. Remember when they came
out with those uh Stadium Jams CDs. That was like
(36:59):
it was the jock rock, right, yeah, jock rock and
they had all of this. It's like a big deal.
They had all the songs that you would hear at
stadiums and arenas, and I was like, you were like
every high school played that as uh for years. Like
we're gonna play the same music you would get when
Michael Jordan runs out and is introduced before Chicago Bulls games. Yeah,
(37:20):
all right, that's it. We'll put the baby to bed.
Thank you. All we appreciate. I'll be back on the
radio tonight. It is presidents that which means Eddie will
not be in shocker. I don't know who else is
gonna be with me, but I'll be working and I
will be honoring my favorite president. You know what my
favorite president is, I'm gonna say. I'm actually gonna say
it's George Washington. No, it's a bad job by you.
(37:42):
Why listen Over the years here I I have said
the same president year after year, William Howard tag the
fattest president of them all. You're no longer fat there,
I know, but I still am. I I feel fat,
I sell it, and my my inner soul is fat.
(38:02):
There's only been five presidents that have been obese according
to that and equated b M. I yeah, there's only
been five. Uh now this is I don't know if
Trump qualifies, but this is as a few years ago
was Taft Cleveland, McKinley, H. Taylor, and Teddy Roosevelt, and
(38:26):
they said Clinton was over right, he was overweight, but
he wasn't like obese according to that. So if you
look at the history of fat presidents, and who doesn't
want to do that? William Howard Taft was over three
hundred pounds, and the legendary story is that he got
stuck in the bathtub at the at the White House.
(38:47):
Just must be quite embarrassing your buck naked in the
in the bathtub. There there you go. But I heard
he was able to dance, you know he could. He
could do the the you know what on the day
us for he can shake his ass there the fox trot. Anyway,
all right, listen, have a great rest of your day.
We'll catch you next time, and thank you. Remember thumbs
up on the podcast review the podcast that will help
(39:09):
us out. We'll catch you next time. Be sure to
catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific
Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific boom.
If you've thought more hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
(00:21):
poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
starts right now. Enriching your life. Yeah, that's what we're
enriching your life, unless we're not. It's the Sunday edition
of The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and David Gascon
(00:46):
Because four hours a night are not enough. Eight days
a week, eight days a week, and we welcome into
this a deep dive. We are going to do the
deep die. It's kind of like a wreck dive because
we are going to go through the mail bag, the good,
the bad, and the ugly, and we look forward to
(01:08):
that and so we do that on this edition. Now,
before we get into the mail bag, Cameo cameo, cameo
cameo dot com. You want a personalized video message, I
want a mini Mallard monologue and I and something I
haven't talked about that you want me to talk about
you just want me to rant about you. I can
do that. I don't know you, but I can rant
(01:31):
about you anyway. So cameo dot com on there. Check
that out. And obviously all these social media channels, Ben
Mallard's show on Facebook, Ben Mallard on Fox, for the
Booty Models on Instagram, and just Ben Maller on Twitter.
So all of that available to you. And yes, go on,
You're on cameo as well, and you were hornswoggled into
(01:51):
doing a glowing cameo tribute to yours. Truly, I was
appreciate that. Make sure you can follow me on Twitter
for all your latest and greted stock advice. I can
definitely hop out in that kind of capacity. I'm the
stock guy. I'm the I'm the stock guy. Listen, my
um my positions are strong right now. I just leave
it at that. You're just ripping stuff off Wall Street
(02:13):
bets or whatever is all. I definitely have not doing that.
I haven't gotten down a dark web of of Reddit
and um and if I did, I would be owing
a lot more than the market. The last few days
did not go that well as we're doing the podcast.
So but you know the upside down, you're in the
long game. On man, you're not in the short game.
(02:34):
You're in the long game. That's write all aggressive all
the time. It would be a little bit different if
I was in a different age bracket, but that's not
the position of them in right now. So I don't know.
If you have a mirror in your house, you might
want to look at the mirror because you change your
perspective on investing. Yeah, I'm just saying, I don't know.
I do need a haircut drifting along a little bit there.
We do need some thumbs up and some five stars
(02:56):
and some reviews in the podcast on Apple iTunes. So
if you guys can a your lazy asses over there
and dropped me a kind note, I'd appreciate it. That. Yeah,
I mean, let me point out that, Um, you might
think that doesn't matter who the hell cares. And I've
said this before and I'll say it again. You know
I would agree with you, like it's just that you
know who reads the reviews. But trust me, people who
(03:17):
have corner offices and make a lot of money and
decide who gets what and where they value that crap.
So who am I to judge? But it just it's
simple to do. I't it's a pain in the ass,
but it's not that hard. It's painless and it does
help us out. Speaking of corner offices, since most people
aren't even operating out of an office anymore, have you
(03:38):
gotten any more any more stories from I'm a Pilot?
Oh you know, I'm a pilot sent me a wonderful hat.
I I am so, I am hat rich. Guess the
Mallard militia has rallied around rallied around me. And I'm
(04:00):
a pilot is so because you know he's listen, he's
more of my friend than your friend. You think he's
your friend. He's horn swoggled you into thinking you know
that that you guys are tighten all that, but you're not.
But I'm a pilot, he he said me in this
really cool hat. It's from the Montgomery Biscuits, but it's
got Yeah. But my my my thing is I try
(04:22):
to I have a lot of different hats, but my
but the hats I go to the most often. I
love college hats from random colleges. And I love hats
with either B for Ben, like the Brooklyn Dodger hat
that I'm wearing right now, or the B for the
Bakersfield Blaze that you destroyed. That's a team you're ruined.
I have that and then and then I don't have
(04:43):
too many M hats, but this Montgomery Biscuits it's it's
like a classical looking hat. It's got the M on it.
And so that's pretty cool. And thanks to all the
hat benefactors. That was very nice. But that cheered me up.
You know, I was pretty depressed, as you might imagine.
Uh And I went to get the mail and I
hadn't picked up the mail in a very long time,
and there were a lot of people were very nice,
(05:04):
and I thank you guys. I do appreciate that. It's
very nice. But I'm a pilot was one of the
people that was the hat benefactor, the hat benefactor, so
that was that was pretty cool. He sent that in
nothing for you though I didn't see anything for you. Yeah,
I didn't see anything for you. Very nice, very kind.
I want to point that out. Uh So, is there
(05:24):
anything else that we need to get to before we
get into the mail. Bag. I'm trying to think of
anything else that I wanted to get to here. Let's
see you check that box, check that box. Uh No,
I think we'll just get into it. Yes, yeah, that's fine.
All right. This is the actual mailbag. These are questions
sent in by random listeners like yourself. If you would
like to submit a question for a future edition of
(05:45):
the Mailbag, you can do that two ways now. The
most popular way is on the show Facebook page. Ben
Mall Show Wednesday, usually in the morning West Coast time,
early morning West Coast time, mid more ng on the
East coast. I will post a message. Normally attached is
(06:06):
some fine art from Ostrich Aunt, who was just an
amazingly talented artist, just an amazingly talented artist. And he
draws his little cartoon drawings and he's you think of
the greats? Do you think of Michael Angelo, Van Gold, Rembrand, Matisse,
Da Vinci and Austro chant No, he's he's this guy
(06:30):
is great, more like a Vermier. Maybe one of my favorites.
I quote this guy lies Andy Warhol. Andy Warhol had
had a great line and anything, uh and everything can
be art, Anything and everything could be art, and uh,
and that's good. And one of his other quotes was
life is just a series of images that change as
they repeat themselves. But that's Austro chance. So anyway, first
(06:51):
question comes from John the Jailer and Allan Town, Pennsylvania.
He says, bent the Costco food sample warres have returned.
Have you been able to bartake John? This is a
great question. I was just at Costco the other day.
I go to Costco at least once a week, sometimes
twice a week. Uh. The answer is no, because in
(07:11):
California it's the biggest teas in the world. What they've
done at the local Costco where I live. They do
have the sample workers back at Costco, but they don't
actually have the samples. They sit at the same tables
they used to give out the good East the stuff
back in the day, and they sit there and they
(07:32):
have like if they're That was in the Costco a
couple of days ago, as I said, and they had
a they were trying to get the granola bars, trying
to get people to buy granola bars. So they had
the woman who had the woman was sitting there and
she had the Costco sample outfit on and she was
at a little table, and then she had a granola bar,
and then there was a plastic container over the granola bar,
(07:54):
so you could observe the granola bar, but you could
not actually eat a sample of said granola bar. So
it's bull crap. It's absolute bull crap, is what it is.
And so you know, I don't know that's because a
king New summer or whatever, but you can't they're not
actually handing out the samples. Now, when they do, I'll
do the hokey pokey. I'll put my right foot in,
(08:16):
I'll take my right foot out, you know, the whole thing.
I'll put my right hand in, I'll take my Yeah.
But they don't have that right So don't point that.
You don't go to Costco because you're west of the
four oh five. So you go there for gas, whole
foods probably, I would imagine you Whole Foods is really
taxing on a paycheck. Yeah, I I have a relative
(08:37):
of my in law is one of them live over Unfortunately,
west of the four or five. I did go to
the Costco in I think it's in Torrance, and there's
like a car wash. Yep, there's a car wash there. Yeah,
right next never I've never seen I've never seen a
costco with the car wash. We do things a little
bit differently West of the four or five better, bigger, sexy, better,
(09:00):
more efficient, just your standard car wash. I didn't think
it was any better than any other car wash. They
had a car cost effective. Yeah, something sweet about being
west of the four or five. All right, Chris and
Iowa writes in He's got a couple of points he
wants to make. Chris says the Sunday podcast was missing
the beginning, there was no intro and in the middle
(09:22):
of a question, so I guess something happened in the
middle of a question. This is Chris and Ila just
complaining in again, touch up on that kind of a
customer service, a weekly tradition from Chris and Ila. What
can I bitch about to the Chris and Ila. So
you're saying there's no customer satisfaction guarantee for the fifth
(09:43):
hour podcast? Is that what you're saying? No, I mean
any guarantees. So guess saying go fund yourself. There you go,
very nice. Do not be a discerning customer at all? No, no, no,
I guess Gon does not like that. It's a willer
Coaster of Life. That is the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller,
Chris and Iowa says music on or off during sex?
(10:07):
He says he votes no, and Chris, of course, it
depends on where you are in life. Uh. You know,
on a certain point in my life, I didn't care
if there was music, if there was an opera playing.
It was just getting getting a little bit of action.
There was all that. But I don't think back. But
sometimes some music in the backgrounds. Fine, doesn't it doesn't matter.
I don't I don't really have I don't hate it
(10:29):
needed but anyway, Jeff from Clarksville, Indiana, just across the
Ohio River from Louisville, says, what is the absolute best
prank you have ever pulled on someone? And who was? Oh? Man? Yeah,
I mean I'm trying to think what I could say that. Actually,
you know, the statue of limitations is run out, but
the one that mean it's kind of a cheese ball.
(10:51):
One we used to do before the internet really blew
up was every April fools Day. It was usually the
start of baseball right around April fools Day, and there
was a buddy of mine who I would fool every year.
I would take an old AP story about a trade,
and then I would change the words around the teams
and the players so it looked like an official AP
(11:13):
wire story, and I would just I would send an
email to my my friends, did you see this? I
cut I don't worry, I copied and pasted it for you.
And it was some big trade and the dummy would
he would fall for it, like every like two out
of three years he fell for the same thing. And
then there's the other standard standard pranks that you would
(11:34):
do back in in high school and all that. Um,
but I mean, I don't think there's anything outside the norm.
What about you guess I'm big prankster. No, I mean
I was, but there's nothing I can disclose here. It's
just it's not reliability reasons. Yeah. Yeah, it was very immature. Alright,
(11:55):
Big Mike, not the Big Mike that works at Fox
Sports trade. This is a different Big Mic, not to
be confused with our Big Mike. Big Mike in Courtland,
New York, and he says, in the last three weeks,
the price of gasoline has gone up nearly thirty cents.
I wonder why how is it in California? Is awful
it's hovering towards four dollars right now. It's anywhere between
three fifty and three eight spots I've seen. Yeah, it's
(12:19):
it's brutal. It's we call that the Biden effect is
what we call that. But California, it's hard to really
get a read on this because we pay isn't it
like a dollar fifty right? In taxes per gallon? How
much is it per gallon onto? It's it's it used
to be fifty cents. I think it's closer to a
dollar now in gas tax federal and local gas tax
(12:40):
in California. So the same gas that you would get
in Texas, for Oklahoma, for you know, two dollars and
ten cents in California, as you pointed out, would be
three dollars. And you know something. So it's but fear
not the minimum wage will be praised and that will
(13:01):
still be applicable for people in New York and in California.
Is it wrong to point out that we should try
to get people to not work for the medimu to
uh that that is the floor. You don't want to
be the floor. You want to be on the ceiling.
You want to be at the floor. You want to
strive to be closer to the ceiling. And is that?
Why did? Why is that so bad? Why are you
the bad person if you say that? I don't know
(13:22):
the world we live in. H yeah, Oh, people get triggered.
Do you see the other day? Um, what's the the
guy that the investment guy? Jim Kramer? No, not Jim Kramer. Um,
he does a radio show. Trying to think of the
guy's name, and it's like how to save money for retirement?
(13:42):
Not Charles Paine, No, No, he's Um, what's the guy's name?
I'm trying to think of the Dave Ramsey. That's Dave Ramsey.
So Dave Ramsey. The other day he went on a
rant on TV and he said he didn't believe in
the stimulus check. He didn't care whether it was like
(14:05):
six d um and he didn't give a change your life,
he says. He says, if that did change your life,
you were pretty much screwed anyway. That is what he was.
But which is the same argument about the minimum wage? Right, Like,
if you're you know, I understand you start out, maybe
you're doing the minimum wage, but at some point you've
got to find a way to get above that. And
(14:28):
that was like Ramsey was just getting destroyed, right, he
was just getting destroyed for debunking debunking the stimulus check.
Then yeah, I actually read a couple of articles that said,
if you really wanted to be true to inflation, the
minimum wage should actually be twenty four dollars in this country. Well,
there was a guy the other day that had a
(14:49):
good point, and it shouldn't The minimum wage should not
be the same. Forget where I saw this, but it
shouldn't be the same in New York and California as
he is in Oklahoma's cheaper to live in Oklahoma, right,
seper live in Kansas than it is in California should
be higher in California, New York and lower in those places. Right, Yeah,
I don't get it, but I mean throw her at
(15:09):
right now on my own. Well, man, we gotta treat
everyone the same even though they don't pay the same taxes,
you know, and think, come on, it's ridiculous anyway, all right,
thank you for that big Mike Kevin in Kansas, right,
since says Mr Mallard and Mr Gasca, thank you for
the three weekly fifth hour podcast. How about this guy
Kevin's appreciative. Yeah, he's appreciative. My idea continue. Really yeah,
(15:35):
all right, he says. I listened to them, and as
I do some long runs on the weekends working out,
how about that, keep running. Breathe breathe in, breathe out,
breathe in, breathe out. Kevi At. Another question is, don't
slack Kevin? Run harder, you jackass, run harder. And as
he's running on a trail concrete, sand or grass, I'm
(15:57):
gonna say he's in Kansas, it's cold, he's on a redmill.
How about that. I'm gonna say he's on a track,
like one of those wood chip trails and tracks. Well,
it could be like that guy Mark the Walker in
Rochester who's out every morning at like three in the
morning in ten degree weather with snow walking around Rochester
for some reason, I don't know why, but he does
(16:18):
it and walking we go or whatever. He says. Its
trademark guy. But this is listen to this sucking up.
I think this Kevin in Kansas is actually you. Well,
I think it's you or your dad or your you know,
one of your relatives there, because Kevin says, not only
is your chemistry perfect for the format. I'm always learning something.
(16:39):
How did you match up this partnership, he says. Was
it a try out of forced pairing that worked or
just blind good luck? He says, keep up the great shows. Well, Kevin,
that's tremendous, tremendous sucking up. I I mean, you just
gave me a bubble bath, is what you did, and
may any and a petty and I thank you for that.
(17:02):
But we were forced. It's a forced marriage, forced marriage
by management and uh gascon trying to get out of
the marriage. As you know, he's missed a lot of
time on the podcast. As you know, he does not
like doing the podcast, but we we drag him in
here occasionally to do the podcast. We do. Yeah, I'm here.
That's how that your partnership began. Forced marriage. We brought
(17:25):
the old guy from the terrestrial radio world into the
digital frame and now here. Shot Gun wedding, shotgun wedding.
Have you been to any of those like in shotgun weddings? Yeah,
any of those or even um uh you know, like
could he get um on the tip of my tongue
when you go to like Vegas just on driven by them? Yeah,
(17:46):
when they have the little wedding parlors or whatever. Yeah,
I mean I've sure been by those, have I had?
You know, I did not. I I eloped. I went
to Hawaii away from everyone, on a deserted beach. Yeah,
but you didn't. I mean, can you consider your wedding
in a lope because you had you know, you had
you guys were both dressed up. Well yeah, but we
were dressed up and we had a person. We had
the person doing the wedding, uh, you know, reading the vow,
(18:09):
you know, having us go through the ceremony, and then
we had a camera person that was it. Who is
your witness? The camera person? Because we did we didn't
know anybody. I mean, we were you know, I've never
I've been to Kwai when I was a kid, but
I didn't know anybody and on the Garden Island. I
love Kauai. Okay, if it wasn't so far away from
I just moved there. So great. It's good man, paradise, Man,
(18:31):
it's paradise. What a beautiful place. So when you got there, though,
did you have to fly into Honolulu and then take
a small plane over? How did that work? Well? No,
they have direct flights into Kauai but we got we
were offered a deal. We got bumped. So we did
actually fly into Honolulu and then go to Poi poo. Uh.
(18:51):
We we took the flight over there because uh, they
gave us some funny money for future flight. Yeah. So
I was like, we all had to wait a couple
extra hours. So we just like sat at L A
X and waited and you know whatever, read our phones
and made a made a extra money. I always back
when planes were full all the time, I loved getting bumped,
(19:12):
bumpitty bump. I loved it because you get a little
extra phony money future trips. It's the way to do
it unless you really have to be somewhere. All right,
Charlie in Memphis and he says, uh, what the hell
do you mean by salad days? He says, what the
hell do you mean by salad days? Since I'm not
a degenerate gambler, how does plus or minus one fifty
(19:34):
or any other number equate to the percentage of odds?
All right, so you've got two things here, and well
I'll hold your hand and I'll walk you through these
two things. Now, as far as the salad days, that
is actually showing how smart I am I'm when I
use the term salladays. That is a Shakespearean expression. Salad
days goes back to Shakespeare, and it's from one of
(19:56):
Shakespeare's places. It means a younger point in your life. Uh,
innocence in discretion, Uh, those type of things. Uh. You
know like Tom Brady, you would say his salad days
were with the Patriots even though he just won a
(20:16):
Super Bowl, but his glory days were were a few
years ago. So that it's just another way. It's a
cute way of saying you were better then. You know
my salad days when I was doing local mid days
in l A. That is, you know that those are
my salad days. Yeah, not working with you. As far
(20:36):
as the odds are concerned, well, plus minus the way
this works, I'll give you the Simpleton version as I
know it. So minus would be the favorite, right minus me.
So like if I if it was minus one fifty,
that would imply there's a sixty percent chance that something's
gonna happen, that a team is gonna win the game.
So and then the underdog is the plus. So if
(20:59):
it's plus one fifty, that implies that there's only a
forty percent chance. So that's that's how that works. I mean,
you can go as high as you want. You know,
you can go. If it's plus three thousand, that would
mean there's only a three percent chance, and obviously if
it's minus three thousand, there's almost a ninety seven percent
chance of something happening. Well, again, that's the those are
(21:21):
the implied odds. And obviously they set the line the casino,
the sports book. They just want equal money. They don't
care who wins. They want to win and the way
they win. They set the opening line. It's the gambling
public that actually establishes the final line, and if you
(21:41):
bet too much on either side, they'll adjust the line
to try to get people to bet the other way.
And then don't forget for the gambling purposes, if it's
minus one fifty, you have to bet a hundred and
fifty dollars to win one hundred dollars. And if you
bet one hundred dollars and it's plus one fifty and
you win, you get paid out a hundred and fifty dollars.
(22:03):
I don't know, I don't think that's quite the If
you bet a hundred, yeah, well you have to, you
would win a hundred dollar bet the payout, you would
win sixty six you bet if you bet a minus
one fifty, right, if you bet a hundred dollars on
a minus one fifty, you would win. The payout would
(22:26):
be a hundred and sixty six point six seven, So
you would win sixty six dollars and sixty seven. Yeah.
But what what I'm saying is you'd have to bet a
hundred fifty dollars to win a hundred dollars. Uh, no,
what do you mean? I don't think you're right. Yes,
if it's minus one fifty, you have to bet, you
have to bet a hundred fifty dollars to win a
(22:46):
hundred dollars. Yes, yes, you're wrong. I'm not wrong, all right.
And what was the other question? Was that I think
those are both all right? Uh? Let's see here. I
think this is car those in Houston. I think I
didn't write down the name bad job by me. Maybe
you didn't put the name in here with me. I
didn't put it in there. Uh, he says, Hey, Ben,
(23:09):
have you heard any news about Oh, this is not
from Cross, it from somebody else. Have you heard of
any news about what ballparks may have fans of this season.
If so, any potential news of a possible Stros booing trip, Yeah,
I haven't seen it. You know, Baseball starting here soon,
spring training starting, and I have not seen the list
(23:31):
of who's in and who's out. I would like to
think that if even New York is going to allow
fans at games, they announced this week the King of
New York that they're going to allow the Dictator. There's
gonna allow ten percent attendants and sporting events in those cities.
So I'd hope that the Yankees and Mets will have
some fans. I would assume that Texas they could have
(23:53):
had fans last year, but Baseball did not allow it.
So I would assume that Houston and and also the
Texas Rangers will have have fans. The teams in Florida,
who generally don't have fans, will have fans. I would
think anywhere below the Mason Dixon line you're gonna have
some level of fans, which is like the Astros. You
go down the list there the teams in the South
(24:15):
Cincinnati Reds combat. But I haven't planned a booing trip.
I'd like to do that. That would be a lot
of fun. How about the renovated Dodgers Stadium for the
season and no fans have been allowed in Dodgers state.
And they spent a ton of money redoing the outfield,
the pavilions at Dodger Stadium and no fans allowed in.
(24:38):
They did that for the All Star Game, which they
didn't have. Likes Pierre in Springfield, Massachusetts rights and says,
can you pay off your teas regarding your dust up
with t o Also have you had any other memorable
confrontations with in the past while interviewing celebrities. Of course, Uh,
we've gone through some of those. I had. There was
(25:00):
a baseball player named Tony Phillips that wanted to fight me.
He was playing for the Angels they were collapsing in
the mid nineties, and I asked him questions he didn't like.
He wanted to punch me. There there was a famous
NBA player from years gone by, Benoit Benjamin, who also
wanted to punch me. Matt Williams, the former San Francisco
Giant third basement He was playing for the Diamondbacks of
(25:20):
the time. He got into it with me. Todd Hunley,
former met catcher, he was playing for the Dodgers. He
got upset with me. But the ship, the one with
t O, was actually at a Clippers game on Valentine's Day.
This is when t O was suspended from the Philadelphia Eagles.
He was he was in the doghouse in philadelph Remember
(25:41):
that was the whole working out on the front lawn
if you're old enough to remember that he was. He
was working out and doing interviews and it was very
odd and awkward. Well after that, he came to l
A and he was at a Clipper game and they
were playing, I believe, the Atlanta Hawks on Valentine's Day.
And so I was doing a show with Chris Smiers
at the time on Fox Sports Radio, and I attempted
(26:04):
to very politely go up to t O and ask
him to come on the radio show as a guest,
because I thought he would have been a good guest.
He was in the news a lot. We were talking
about him every day anyway, and t O was a
complete douche nozzle and then proceeded to yell at me
and tell me to contact his publicist. And I remembers
(26:25):
like pointing out, well, why why would I need to
talk to your publicist. I'm right your face to face here.
I mean, we're belly to belly. What's the I mean,
why do I need to talk to somebody else? Can't
you take care of your own business? And uh, he
didn't appreciate that, and and then that was it. Yeah,
that's my TEO story. Emmett, the blind Seahawk fan in Olympia, Washington, said,
(26:46):
why does Gagon hate recording the Fifth Hour podcast? All right,
you want to answer that? Blind Emmett, blind Sea kind
of a comment is that? What kind of a question
is that? I think it's a good question. It's a
question that people want to know. I mean this, you
come in here, that people were giving back. It's an
(27:07):
act of public service when you get paid a lot
for this, which I think is the answer to the question.
But come in here and uh, you know you're giving
back to the world. You're making people like that guy
in Kansas, right, the guy running around there Kevin and Kands,
you're making him feel better. That's different. Though he appreciates it,
I get the sense that certain people don't appreciate it
(27:27):
at all. There's always a certain percentage of assholes. Would
people actually appreciate the podcast versus do not appreciate the
fact that we're coming in here extra and that I'm
getting no sleep on day to come in and record
the podcast when I'm supposed to be resting. Uh. Yeah,
I think it's it's one of these things that people
just take for granted. Yeah, Like it's I think it's
(27:50):
one of the things that you just think happens. Like
you think, you know, some people just show up. And
I spent a lot of time getting ready for the
show and not bragging or whatever. But it's you know
a lot of people think you just roll in there
and talk about sports and there's no preparation and all that,
or you come in and do the podcast, and so
this is like it's just kind of there. It's kind
of it's it's one of the things. And I said this,
and I talked to Rob Parker's class at USC. I said,
(28:12):
the thing about radio and broadcasting is it's once it
becomes ingrained in your life, it's part of your routine,
but you don't appreciate, right, It's like you just expected
to be there when you need it, like you know what,
and then like you know, your fans, your fan of
the show, you listen to it, you know it's there.
You might not listen every day, and some days you
probably don't listen. But if you wanted to listen, you
(28:34):
know it's there, but you don't know what goes into it.
Not that we're like changing the world and reinventing the
wheel here, we're not. It's not a new mouse trap.
It's the same mouse trap. I am it also asked
he's the blind Stak fan from Olympia, Washington, and he says,
if you could have a Mallard burrito, what would be
(28:54):
in it? Oh, I'd like a Mala burrito. It would
be a big, oversized burrito. Massive and uh, well, I'm
pretty simple with the burrito. And now remember the chef
from New Orleans. He did not respond, by the way,
when he asked what ingredients we would put in the
food dish, he did not respond, So I don't think
he liked the increase. But the Mallar burrito obviously be um,
(29:17):
you know, a meat based burrito with a lot of cheese.
I'd I'd have garlic, bell peppers, a lot of bell
peppers in there, some spicy hot salsa. Uh, a little rice,
not too much rice, because I don't one of the
problems with the rice and the burrito. Rice is so cheap,
they often put too much rice in there. There's not
(29:38):
a it's there's a proper ratio when you have rice
and the burrito. And my experiences often they put way
too much rice in the burrito and there's not enough
meat in the burrito. So but that's that's it. I mean,
that's pretty much. You know, a really hot spicy salsa.
Um a meat or chicken. I do chicken. I do chicken. Uh.
And then you you have the cheese, you have the
(30:00):
the bell pepper, the garlic, and I think that would
be a wonderful, wonderful burrito. Sounds good. What would the
gascon Barrie, you love burrito. You eat those breakfast burritos,
that's your right, Yeah, I think I would go. I'd
go mixed meat. So I do chicken and Carna soda
for sure. Mixed meat. Is that a mismatch? Is that
Marcel and Brooklyn? Miss? I mean, they got a bunch
(30:21):
of places that do mixed meat. So I'll surprise you
didn't say like carnetas'd be like more of a port guy.
I don't know, because when you get oh, Fred Witch
mccad um, tetos tetos. Yeah, you go, don't you go
carnitas or you go chicken. They don't have no, I don't.
I just eat the taco I don't know. Whatever it is,
(30:42):
mystery meat. Whatever is the shredded beef. That's what it is,
like beef. Yeah, they can't go roll with sauce, of
course I like that and then probably throw some some bacon,
some sausage, and maybe some eggs in it. Yeah, my
burrito is better than your burrito. Hey man, we're in California.
We can't go wrong. We can't go wrong with Mexican
food in southern California, all right. Jeff from Clarksville, Indiana,
(31:06):
across the Ohio River in Louisville, Kentucky, says he's back again.
He says a favorite cartoon as a child, Transformers Anything
on a Saturday morning, that was a big deal. And
as an adult looking back on it, I was like, oh,
I mean that's the day you could sleep and as
a kid, but Saturday morning cartoons a lot of juice.
We're awesome, We're amazing. But I you know, I think
(31:28):
the cartoons were like the flint Stones, the Jetsons during
the week, like Tom and Jerry cartoons, the Looney Tunes
with the road Winner and the Coyote, and like, uh,
who's the guy the red the redhead with the gun
in the Looney Tunes they got they took the gun
(31:48):
away from him now because everyone's woke. Yeah, I forget
the character, but like those and then like Fat Fat
Albert on the weekends we saw some of that. Um
the superhero cartoons, g I Joe, I loved iled all those.
I mean, I don't know, but I guess you say
(32:09):
only two Jetson's Flintstones. I watched those a lot. Interesting. Yeah,
ah right, what else do we have here? Ramon in
Virginia Beach? Right? Since this, do you think the Super
Bowl was rigged? I know you're not a conspiracy theorist,
but if you were, uh, well, listen, I I've said
this on the show Ramon that I'm nine no, but
(32:33):
I leave a five percent window open. It's one of
the things I often bring up as a conversation I
had with High Tower from the Police Academy movies. Uh,
and he had played with the Baltimore Colts. I'm talking
about Bubba Smith, better known as High Tower from the
Police Academy trilogies, and he swore that that was a
(32:56):
fixed that he lost the Super Bowl to Joe Namath
in Bowl three. He was nineteen sixty nine, right around
the nineteen Yeah, so anyway, he claimed it was fixed,
and and other other people Dwight Smith, who played with
Tampa Bay and had a bunch of interceptions in the
Super Bowl just this last ten days or so, said
that's the same thing. The only thing gives me reason, well,
(33:19):
not the only thing. The main reason I don't believe
a hundred percent or you know, I'm only at five
percent is I just think it would have gotten out more,
you know what I mean, Like people can't keep secrets.
People can't keep see especially in the age of social media.
Although you can censor stuff on social media, so I
guess there's ways around it. Um anyway, I just keep
(33:39):
it going here. Who else do we get a few
more rapid fire? Rat tat tat here, rat tat that,
Jimmy Right, since it's been your choice sports talk, morning drive, afternoon,
second shift or overnight or TV, all of it pay
the same two hundred fifty thousand dollars a year. Well,
(33:59):
all things beings. I love doing overnight sports radio, um,
and so I would probably keep doing that. But TV,
you do like a half hour TV you get paid
the same, so cost benefit, analysis and effort into it.
And TV there's like seventeen producers for everything that you
do in the TV world. So I'd go for quality
(34:20):
of life. I'd go. TV Mark in Ottawa says, would
you drink an entire bottle of ranch dressing to guarantee
the Clippers winning the championship this season? No, I will
not drink the devil's blood market will not happen, but
the Clippers will win the championship, so it doesn't matter.
Day from Mill Valley, California. This question for Ben and Gascon.
Do you ever get approached on the street by Fifth
(34:43):
Hour podcast groupies wanted to get to know you a
little bit better? Well, Gascon, I understand does have relations
with groupies from the podcast. Nothing wrong with that. I
do not. I do not. I have been occasionally recognized,
which is odd because how could you recognize someone from
the radio, especially you, because you've had like three or
(35:05):
four different bodies in your lifetime. Yes, yes, I actually want.
We mentioned Tito's Tacos. One time I was at Tito's tacos.
You should go there every week, twice a week. I
still go there twice a week, and I lived closer.
I love that place. That's the holy land of the
crunchy taco. But that guy and I was like, I
was online and the guy you Bett Maller, I was like,
that was awkward. Yeah, I'm here, I'm ordering seventeen tacos. Yes,
(35:28):
that's me. I'm about to be a big fat, large ass.
That's me. Welcome in, Yes, all right? Chris in any Town,
Iowa says, what's your record for predicting Super bowls? Now?
After failing so badly this year? Chris, guess which finger
I'm holding up? Chris number one? Nober r J and
(35:52):
San Antonio says, what is your go to song or
what was your go to song during high school? Yeah?
It wasn't really. I wasn't like into I don't. I
don't think I had a song when I was in
high school. So I'm in the music now. But I've
I've said I have a weird relationship with music. I
like it, but I'm not like a music snob, you
(36:13):
know what I'm saying, Like I like upbeat stuff, but
then I'll when i'm working, I listened to when I'm
preparing for the show. I often have classical music on
just because it's kind of calming and I get stressed out.
So what about you, guest, gun An he go to music.
But the Beatles were big when you were in high school, right,
and I really didn't have any go too, but you know,
Drolling Stones were popular, I think. I think during football season,
(36:37):
I was always thunderstruck, right, like pregame rituals. And yeah,
we lived in a good time though, Like you know,
Pearl Jam was great, Metallica, Sound Garden, Green Day, Um, Nirvana,
Like those bands are fucking great. Remember when they came
out with those uh Stadium Jams CDs. That was like
(36:59):
it was the jock rock, right, yeah, jock rock and
they had all of this. It's like a big deal.
They had all the songs that you would hear at
stadiums and arenas, and I was like, you were like
every high school played that as uh for years. Like
we're gonna play the same music you would get when
Michael Jordan runs out and is introduced before Chicago Bulls games. Yeah,
(37:20):
all right, that's it. We'll put the baby to bed.
Thank you. All we appreciate. I'll be back on the
radio tonight. It is presidents that which means Eddie will
not be in shocker. I don't know who else is
gonna be with me, but I'll be working and I
will be honoring my favorite president. You know what my
favorite president is, I'm gonna say. I'm actually gonna say
it's George Washington. No, it's a bad job by you.
(37:42):
Why listen Over the years here I I have said
the same president year after year, William Howard tag the
fattest president of them all. You're no longer fat there,
I know, but I still am. I I feel fat,
I sell it, and my my inner soul is fat.
(38:02):
There's only been five presidents that have been obese according
to that and equated b M. I yeah, there's only
been five. Uh now this is I don't know if
Trump qualifies, but this is as a few years ago
was Taft Cleveland, McKinley, H. Taylor, and Teddy Roosevelt, and
(38:26):
they said Clinton was over right, he was overweight, but
he wasn't like obese according to that. So if you
look at the history of fat presidents, and who doesn't
want to do that? William Howard Taft was over three
hundred pounds, and the legendary story is that he got
stuck in the bathtub at the at the White House.
(38:47):
Just must be quite embarrassing your buck naked in the
in the bathtub. There there you go. But I heard
he was able to dance, you know he could. He
could do the the you know what on the day
us for he can shake his ass there the fox trot. Anyway,
all right, listen, have a great rest of your day.
We'll catch you next time, and thank you. Remember thumbs
up on the podcast review the podcast that will help
(39:09):
us out. We'll catch you next time. Be sure to
catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific
Host
Ben Maller
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