Speed Racers

Ben answers your questions in this mailbag, including the fastest he’s ever driven, whether or not he’d ever travel to the moon, and more!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ka boom. If you thought four hours a day dred
minutes a week was enough, I think again. He's the
last remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of
Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour

(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now. Out of the shoot
we go. It is that time yet again, The Fifth
Hour with Ben Mallard. We are in the air everywhere.
There are no borders in the podcast world. We thank

(00:45):
you for finding the podcast, subscribing to the podcast, downloading
the podcast, telling a friend about the podcast. Available the
Fifth Hour podcast wherever you find your podcast. We do
appreciate your loyalty and your support for said podcast. And
we've been listening over the weekend. Here we had Mike Harmon,

(01:07):
great radio conversation with my my buddy Mike Harmon, and
then we also had the story they Look Back at
Rush Russia lim Bossom of my memories of Russia, Limball
and in interactions with Russia's pen and whatnot. On the
Saturday podcast What Today Is All About? You it's the
mail bag. The mail bag. And since Gascon is too

(01:31):
lazy to come in here this weekend, we have both
the show Who's gonna be with us as well, so
the way this works both now, I solicited a bunch
of of questions from members of the Mallard militia, big
fans of the show, and we'll just go through as
many of these as we can. I want to answer them.
If you want to add on anything, Bow, you are
more than welcome to do that. You want to touch

(01:52):
up my work, you can do that if you like,
and we'll see where this takes us. It sounds like
sounds like a blast, all right, So here we go,
Here we go, all right. Question number one, number one
from Chris in any Town, Iowa, formerly known by a
different name. He says, during your Fox hiatus, you ran

(02:15):
the Rumor website. Why did you end it? And didn't
actually make any money? Chris says, well, Chris, I don't
actually own the domain name anymorey believe or even it's
my name, I don't own the domain name. It's Ben
Mallard dot com was the website. And yeah, I actually
made a very good living. I didn't make riduculous money.
Didn't make riduculous money, but I made a good living.

(02:38):
I ran the Gossip website on my own independent website
for many many years. I then partnered with Fox Sports
dot Com as the Rumor Guy, and my content I
aggregated was put out on on the Fox Sports dot
Com website. UM And at one point I think the

(03:00):
eek of that was when Drudge, the Drudge Report was
the the end all be all and there was a
story that I had put up about Tim Tebow when
Tebow came onto the scene with the Broncos in the
NFL and uh, and that popped up on the front
page of the Drudge Report, and that that was like
the coolest thing because that I was like, that was like,

(03:22):
oh man, you've arrived. You know, Matt Drudge has taken
a story that you put together and that's like a
big deal. And my parents, who were more more political
than sports people, that was like that was cool for
them to check out. But yeah, I made money on it,
and I actually did it way before I was doing
both gigs. I did the radio show for a long time.
I was the weekend filling guy in radio, so I

(03:44):
was like the six man I would do a weekend
show Friday, Saturday and occasionally Sunday, and then I would
fill in. And a lot of radio people very lazy.
They take a lot of time off, and so I
would get a lot of fill in time. But my
my main gig day through Friday was running and and
correlating the content on the gossip site, aggregating it. And

(04:05):
I did that for a long time and I made
very good money. And then the thing that really changed,
and there were two things that happened. It was the
double way, right A. I was offered full time work
in radio, and the amount of time I was a
one man band. I didn't have a staff, I didn't
have people. I was me. Anything you saw on that
website was me, and that's a bad job by me.

(04:28):
I should have hired other people and whatnot, but I
didn't do it. And so once I got the full
time radio gig, I was like, I can't. I just
cannot do both. It's just physically impossible to do both
because the timing and all that, and the amount of
hours that it took to to make the product that
I wanted on the website, I couldn't do it. That
was the first part Part B though, was around that time.

(04:51):
This is probably twelve thirteen years ago, give or take.
Maybe a little sooner than that, maybe remember a little less,
but around that time, and so social media was starting
to really take off. Because remember and before that it
was my Space, it was a O L Netscape navigator,
and I started doing the website. In the early days,

(05:13):
it was like the old West of the Internet, Chris.
And so, to make a long story longer, once social
media took over, people were not reading websites much. It
was all about social media. It was about Twitter. Twitter
was coming and becoming a bigger and bigger thing, and
and all of these worlds converging that the social media stuff,

(05:38):
along with the fact that I I had the radio gig,
I let it go. Um, but it's always something that
I've thought about bringing back, and if anything happens to
me in radio, it's certainly something I would consider if
I can monetize it and there's a market for it,
and I think there is now. What I've seen is
a lot of people now have shied away from spending

(06:02):
as much time on social media because of the the
down downside of social media. So I think they're the
people are starting to come back to just regular websites.
I know, in my life, I used to be on Twitter,
you know, fifteen hours a day. I'm not exaggerating. I'm
not on there much at all these days. Um, I'm
I'm over it. Um. I get my information from different

(06:25):
websites that I trust, uh, and in different other sources
outside of the social media world. So that's a long
answer to a short question for Chris Michael in Newton
Falls right. So he says, this question is for Benjamin.
How do you keep such a sharp wit when you
hardly sleep? Perhaps you are a sleep deprived, drunk and delirious.

(06:49):
Michael says, well, first of all, Michael, thank you for
the question. Uh. Secondly, you can blame my DNA. I
come from a family of bad sleep I come from
a family of terrible sleepers. That's just the reality. We're
all like that. And I used to bust my dad's balls. Yes,
I can't sleep, it's your fault, you know. And he

(07:10):
couldn't sleep. He was a bad sleeper. And um, yeah,
I'm a four or five hour a night sleep guy.
I wish that how long? How long do you sleep? Both?
I try to get like the seven or eight, but
it just doesn't do anything for me. So maybe I
should try the four or five hours. No, no, I

(07:31):
I would. I want to get seven or eight. I
my goal is to get seven or eight. But I'm
usually up and I just wake up randomly and can't
go back to sleep after about four or five hours.
See like that. That happens to me too. But yeah,
I don't know. It's just it feels like it's never
enough for me. So I don't know. Yeah, I'm not.
My wife's a very good sleeper, but I'm not a

(07:54):
a good sleeper. But but that's the cool thing. It's
actually sometimes when my wife's told me this and other
people said that, it's actually thing that I can get
more done because I don't have to sleep as much
and I'm and now there are times where for whatever reason,
I don't get like maybe I get like an hour
for an hour and a half. And then I will
come in here and you'll know when this is because

(08:15):
I will sound like I I have, you know, had
a case of booze right before I came. I will
be a stumble bump, just a complete drunk and I'll
slur my words. And so that does happen every once
in a while, but usually if i'm if I'm if
I get four or five hours, I'm fine, I'm I'm okay.
And and usually the end of the week, like today's

(08:36):
a podcast day that we're when we're recording this, and
this is a day and we record this during the
day I do the overnight show. I you know, go
to bed around the same time every every morning, which
is not convenient to do a daytime podcast, and so
I don't get a lot of sleep, and we when
we are recording these podcasts. But that's just part of
the part of the deal. See I've always wondered, Uh,

(08:59):
do you go to sleep right after the show is over?
Or do you stay up for a little bit? No? No, God, no,
I have to wind down, Like I have a whole routine,
like I, you know, doing doing the radio show, being
on the radio, you know, you you work yourself into
a different spot and there's a different level of energy,
and then I have to wind down. So I'll usually
jump on the treadmill and I'll go on there, which

(09:20):
is I don't think a good way to wind down.
Probably by the way, I don't think they recommend that,
but I'll just go on there and us walk. You know,
I don't jog or run. I just kind of walk
and get my body moving because you do it a
four hour show. You're sitting around for four hours. You
gotta get the blood going a little bit. Um. So
I'll kind of hang out there and I'll I have
some me time. We're all I'll look at some stuff
and and then I'm always My problem is I'm always

(09:42):
like looking for the next show. I'm like always looking
like what can I do for the next show, What
what's gonna be the big I'm trying to project what
the big stories are gonna be. So that's part of
the My mind's always racing. That's that's one of the issues.
I can't I can't seem to shut it down. It's
problem not see that. That happens to me too. If
I if I know I have to do an overnight
or something like that, like I try to sleep, but
it just the thought in my head is like while

(10:03):
I'm asleep, I'm gonna miss something happening. And then you know,
like I'm sure that Ben or Jonas or whoever I'm
working with will know. But I still want to be
on top of it. So that's a that's a struggle.
Oh it's terrible. And I used to have this argument
with my dad because my dad was like the same way.
But even though my dad didn't work in radio, but
he would. He loved keeping up on the news. He
was a news junkie and he'd always be on his

(10:24):
phone looking at the news, whatever the political news was
or politics, and I was listening, it'll be there when
you wake up, you can then you'll have even more
news to go through. But of course I didn't follow
my own advice either, because I'm the same way like.
And then sometimes right before I go to sleep, something
big will happen and then I'm like, oh crap, now
I don't want to go to bed. I remember the

(10:45):
last time that happened was I was about to go
to bed and the story came out that Rob Bob Kraft,
the owner of the Patriots, have been been arrested for
the tug and rub or the rub and tug, and
as I couldn't go to sleep, I might I'm like, oh,
my gods, amazing story. I wanted to see what was
gonna happen and let you know next and that that
goofy local hack police guy came on there and started,

(11:07):
you know, trashing Robert Kraft and made this whole big deal.
The story turned out to be nothing as as as
you will. But I remember that day. I didn't want
to go sleep and I just want to stay up
and hear everything. All Right, Who else do we have
about Kevin in Kansas? Right? Since it's been last week,
you and guest Gon discussed cartoons you watched as kids.
I know you watched sports. What are some of the

(11:28):
game shows and evening shows you watched? How about Johnny Carson? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we watched the Tonight Show. That was but everyone seemed
only when I was a kid, everyone watched the Tonight Show. Um,
and then I was a fan because it seemed cool
because he was like the weird late night guy David Letterman.
We used to watch. Saturday Night Live was a big thing.

(11:49):
That was a big deal to watch Saturday Night Live.
I watched Saturday Night Live in years. Um, maybe once
in the last couple of years, I watched Saturday Night Live.
Uh so, I Kevin. I would watch those shows a
lot of sports, Monday Night Baseball. Fact, I'm such a
loser that I stumbled on this old, but it's not old.
It's a YouTube channel that shows old games and and

(12:11):
I love it because they don't give the score and
they don't really tell you what happened. The other night
after the show, I'm on the treadmill trying to wind down,
and I put on I think it was a nineteen
eighty two Chicago White Sox versus Oakland Athletics game. Billy
Martin's managing the Athletics and the late great Billy Martin,

(12:34):
Tony Larusso's managing the White Sox. Carlton Fisk is playing
catcher for the White Sox. Ricky Henderson was a very
young player still at that point for the A's. Uh,
they had Cliff Johnson was on the A's. All these
like random players that I recall because I'm old. So
I'm I'm watching this and I loved it. And and
Howard Cosell, the legendary iconic sports caster, Howard Cosell and

(12:57):
Keith Jackson we're calling in the game, and Bob Yucker
was like the third man in the booth and uh,
and I just loved the hell out And I watched
this for like an hour and a half and I
still I still have like an hour and a half
to get through, and and I it was just a
random game. And you know, I don't even know if
I watched it when I was a kid, But it's
just nostalgia, I guess would be the way the way

(13:19):
to say it. So, uh, that's not really what you
were asking, Kevin. But I did watch the tonight show
to answer your question. Saturday Night Live, we watched sixty
minutes was a big thing every Sunday. Remember one time
my mom, as she rest in peace, she wrote a
letter that they read on on sixty minutes and that
was that was a big thing for the family that

(13:41):
she was famous because there because the letter was read
on sixty minutes. Um Valls Fan Jimmy the caller formerly
known as Walls Fan. Jimmy says, been and Mr West
of the four oh five? Have you ever gone out
on a date and the woman was all about you
and you completely blew it? Uh? Well, well, Jimmy, Uh,
we don't know Miss West of the four or five
is doing Mr West of the four so four or

(14:02):
five things with no work. I think he's not here
so Bo will help answer this. But but yeah, I
was terrible I was so awkward dating and just it
was it was a world I was not good at um,
which it is amazing. I ever end up getting married,
and I went on a lot of a lot of

(14:23):
first dates and not a lot of second dates. And
there were reasons for that. I mean, there were obviously
reasons for that, and it was uncomfortable. It was my hours,
my schedule. Plus I was fat, and uh, women don't
like dating fat guys. That's a problem. Uh. So you know,
there are a lot of a lot of variables that

(14:43):
led to that. But yeah, I mean there were there
were some women I would go out with them like,
oh my god, amazing, and I'm like okay, and then
I just I started talking and I I just keep
biting my tongue, and you know, it was terrible. So
I think it happens to every right, even even the
show right there's yeah. I I I was in a

(15:05):
relationship in high school and then that ended. So most
of my my twenties I was in a relationship. So
I had no idea how to date. And I finally,
you know, worked up the courage to ask someone and
we met at a Starbucks in North Hollywood and it
was nice. Talking, but it kind of just felt awkward,
and you know, like the goodbye hug was weird. Um,

(15:25):
But thankfully she didn't kick me to the curb. And
we're supposed to get married here in July, so you
got God willing. If everything goes to plan on, that'll
be fine. But wait, wait, so you got out of
a long term, relatively long term relationship that you started
in high school and then the next person you went
out with you ended up you're gonna get married to? Wow? Yeah,
look at that bow the show. You don't mess around,

(15:47):
But you're not a serial dat or No, I'm not.
I'm not much of a Yeah, I I went on
a couple of first dates with other people but it
just didn't click. But thankfully this one did. So that's
that's nice. And also, you know, it's it's good that
I'm here to answer this question because I don't think
Gascon has been on a date, and in his head,

(16:07):
he's wouldn't be wouldn't be much for him to add
to this conversation. Yeah, well, being west of the four
oh five is guestcon is uh, you know, let's be
honest here. The thing about Gascon is the person he
loves the most is the person in the mirror, right right,
I mean when you're that, when you're that high brow
and pompous and the elitist and all that. I mean,

(16:29):
he just he doesn't need a data woman. He can
just look at himself in the mirror and just be
in love. In love. Oh my, my, my, my my,
all right, Clayton writes, in says, can you please tell
us the story again of you getting Russia limboss Pen
would be good? Well, go back in Clayton, hear the
podcast from Saturday. I did tell the story on the

(16:51):
Saturday podcast of Rush, and I told two stories. I
told the time I almost met Rush but pot that
would have been cool to meet him didn't happen. And
then I also told the story about when it was
Rush week and he had left and they left the
studio open and I gone in there. It was a
Rush limball Pen. It's in my collection. J Bone, J

(17:16):
Bone in May rights in or in Maine, not may
not May in Maine. He says. So if there was
a dating site for the Mallard Militia, who would hook up?
Can you imagine the characters that call the show? My god? Well,
I know who wouldn't be able to day. It would

(17:37):
be like angry Bill. That wouldn't really work too well.
Uh oh, well, we'd man. You mentioned dating, we man,
send me money, g Matte weed man, hippie and gmail
dot com send me money, I mean holler and James
he might fall asleep. Well then you got I'd feel
bad for the women because we have a few women

(17:57):
that love the show and they're big fans, and there's
a lot of creepy guys. You know. It's like, uh
if imagine if Regina spin Cycle, Regina in Minnesota was
on their Holy crap, these losers, you guys, Oh my god,
would be a nightmare. How about Flexus, America's favorite drag
queen caller. I think she was my first caller that
really weirded me out. And I was told about Flexus,

(18:20):
But yeah, not being told about Flexus is not the
same as actually talking to Flexus. Well, it really is
the Welcoming Committee to the Ben Maller Show and what
the show is all about. There is the what seven
and a half towed drag queen from Upstate New York,
the great and really America's most beloved drag queen and
only known drag queen caller to sports talk radio flexus.

(18:44):
Who else do we have that would be all Hollerwing James.
You imagine Halloween James. He would just scream and shout
and h and yell all about would be Halloween James. So, uh,
there's plenty, plenty characters that would be fun though. That'd
be like a good cartoon. Wouldn't that be a fun
cartoon that you have the characters draw them up. Cowboy
and windsor Cowboy and winsor would be another one. And uh,

(19:07):
you know Blair in Maine. You go down the list there.
So all right, Glenn from Carmichael Carmichael, California says, what's
the highest speed you have reached driving an automobile. Now
we've been asked this question a few times, Glenn, I
have gotten around a hundred. I do not believe I've

(19:28):
ever gone over a hundred, mainly for two reasons. I
am paranoid that if I go too fast, I'm gonna
lose control and that's it, lights out, game over. So
that's the first problem. The other problem is I generally
have not had vehicles that are designed to go all
that fast. I've had commuter vehicles mostly or I had

(19:50):
had an F one fifty for a while, I had
an Explorer for some time. I have the Malon wobile
I have now is a hybrid. Hybrid are not designed
to go over a hundred miles, even though it says
you can. They're just not designed to do that. So yeah,
I might cut off is somewhere in the nineties, somewhere

(20:12):
in the nights. But I've told the story before, My
my my thing here and I got I got pulled
over from a highway patrol guy and he said that
he never gives tickets. He can't be said, he couldn't
speak for other officers, but he couldn't. He never gives
tickets to anybody driving seventy nine and under. He said
the threshold for him was eighty and above. So Ever,

(20:32):
since that conversation, that really resonated with me. So Ever,
since that conversation, I of course set the speed the
max speed to seventy nine, which is still speeding. But
I have I've not gotten a ticket. I've not been
pulled over for a speeding violation since I got that advice,
especially especially when you're in like a nondescript car. I

(20:55):
used to I used to drive a Mustang and I
got pulled over going like nine on the freeway. But
I can get up to a five eight nine in
my current Corolla and nobody cares. It Really all depends,
I think, on what car you're driving. So the advice
from both the show is, if you want to be

(21:16):
a speed racer, get a generic car. Yes, the most
nondescript car as possible. He can get like a white
Corolla or white camera. Drive as fast as you want to.
So if you buy a red Lamborghini, chances are that's
going to get the attention of law enforcement. Yeah, yeah,
I'm giving some of these guys just pull the the

(21:37):
really exotic cars over just so it's kind of cool.
Can take a closer look at them, you know, yeah, totally.
Like we see some of the cars around our building
in Sherman Oaks out here, some of the because the
celebrities live up in bel Air and they come down
to drive cruise around Ventura Boulevard and whatnot. So Pulvita
and I have seen some of the most exotic, outrageous
like three wheeled cars, looks like they're out of a

(21:58):
circus and really all old cars, cars I've never seen before.
And you know, it's just some Hollywood dope driving around
taking a joy ride in the middle of the night
or whatever. And area area matters to, like, you know,
upper upper class areas. I don't think they're going to
pull over cars like that. I remember I used to
work at Dodger Stadium, and do you remember, y'all see

(22:20):
how Pueak he drove that orange Z car. Yes, yes,
he uh. I was walking back to my car after
a game and he just zoomed by us, like he
almost hit me. Just just cruise out of Dodger Stadium
with you know, cops all over the place, because at
the end of a Dodger game, nobody cared, like just
that's Pueek being peak. I guess. Yeah, well that was
part of the reasons he's no longer a Dodger. It

(22:40):
was pweak being pweak. They got they got tired of that.
I remember one time I was leaving and it was
a playoff game, Playoffs, and I parked in the auxiliary
media parking lot, which is down the hill. You probably
parked there if you worked at Dodger Stadium, bow you
know that you had to take a shuttle bus up
to the top of the hill right near the fire
Museum they have their Yeah, so I that during the

(23:02):
playoffs we have to park there, and it was the
overflow lot. And I remember one time I was walking.
I was always I take the shuttle up because it
was uphill to Dodgers Statum. But on the way back
I would just walk because it was all downhill. If
you know the layout of Dodger Stadium. So I'm walking
down and um, and there's a bunch of traffic after
a playoff game. It's about half an hour after a
playoff game, tons of traffic backed up, and uh there

(23:26):
is a I see Cherry Tops. There's a police escort
leading yao peg down you know that backstreet that goes
behind that parking lot, leading Pueak to the one ten freeway.
It was like the funniest thing. He's he's driving this
clown card and he's got a police escort to lead
him past all the fans that are stuck in gridlocked
traffic trying to get out of Dodger Stadium at like

(23:49):
five o'clock after a day playoff game against the Brewers
or you know something like that. So yeah, alright, Uh,
what else do we have Let's see page down here,
A page down. Pierre in Springfield, Massachusetts, home of the
Pro Basketball Pro Basketball Hall of Fame, rights in and
he's got a couple of questions. He says, you're stuck

(24:11):
on a deserted island with gag On, Brian Finlay and
record Ralph. Who do you eliminate? First? All right, that's
his his question. And then the second question is what
do you do to pass the time with Finley and
Ralph until you're rescued? Uh? Well, Finley would probably tell

(24:37):
stories about tennis, right, or he ball washed some athletes,
which he loves to do. He is a big fanboy,
loves his professional athletes. Uh. And then Ralph would probably
tell me some stories about the old days in San
Diego and we worked together at the Mighty, So that's
that's how we were past the time. And then we
just goof on, gag On, that's what we're doing. That

(24:58):
that that's that would be what we did. Uh. Yeah,
you imagined gag On on a deserted, deserted island. He
can't even handle doing a podcast. Eye. Yeah, he wouldn't,
he wouldn't make it. Yeah, I think I think he'd
last maybe six hours. I try to explain to guy
on the key to this, you've gotta be here every week.
He has missed more time, My god. Anyway, Dave from

(25:20):
Mill Valley rights in. He says, Ben, who would win
an arm wrestling match between you and David guns Gascon?
Would it be? Would he be a worthy opponent? Or
is he all show and no go? Well, Dave, thank
you for the question, Dave, And uh, of course the
answer is is he's not is he all show and

(25:42):
no go. It's he's all no show, is the answer.
Because he wouldn't show up. Yeah, you wouldn't show up.
He'd be the guy. He'd be like Conseco when Barstool
had Conseco in that celebrity boxing match a couple of
weeks back, and Conseco it certainly looked like he took
dive there. He showed up, lasted five seconds or whatever,
and then now hit hit the hit the mat. That's it.

(26:06):
That would be Gagon. That would be all right. Big
Mike from Courtland, New York writes in Home of the
Red Dragons. He says, how about discussing all of this
sometimes confusing talk about quarterback shifting teams salary caps, dead money, etcetera.
The more this is talked about, the more it seems
to go in different angles. Perhaps you could make some

(26:28):
sense of it. Well, Big Mike, that's a sport oh question.
I will attempt to answer it briefly. I do this
kind of stuff on the Overnight Show. But I am
a salary cap cruther. I'm a salary cap truther. I
I believe it is fiction. It is malleable. It is
something you can move around. It is something you use
as an excuse when you don't want to keep someone

(26:49):
on your team. If you want to keep someone on
your team, you're gonna find the money. And because of
all of the loopholes and all of the offset language
and the fine print in these agreements, as the rams
are the living embodiment of this. Now, at some point
down the line, you have to you have to take

(27:10):
it in the shorts. But you can keep kicking it
down the line. It's like the United States economy. You
know how much debt the United States is in. They
just keep finding, you know, loopholes and printing money and whatnot.
And you know, eventually eventually that will be problematic. Eventually
that will be problematic. But until then, no, so I
always gett a kick. I see these stories on the latest.

(27:33):
One this week was von Miller and the Broncos might
have to release von Miller for Sarry Cat reason all
they don't. They don't have to release von Miller for
Sarry Cat reasons. They can move some some numbers around
and have fun with numbers, used the funny math there
to make it work. But they're they're over. They're like
von Miller is getting a little long in the tooth.
He missed all last season. He wasn't as good as

(27:55):
he was that nineteen and he's part of the old guard.
Von Miller is part of the old Broncos. We want
a new identity and as long as von Miller is
gonna be there, he's gonna be associated with the old
Broncos and we want someone new, and so we'll move on. Ethan.
In Akron Ohio Rights in our man, Ethan, he says, hey, man,

(28:17):
I just got a job in ticket sales. Sales obviously
a huge part of the radio industry. That's true, Ethan.
Any sales advice or crazy sales stories that you've run
into over the years, well, Efan, good luck being the
sales guy because I actually briefly, briefly worked in sales.
I briefly worked in sales at a cable radio. He

(28:42):
gave me a desk and I was gonna dose sales,
and I I just was terrible at it. I was,
I was horrible at it. There's an art to it. Now.
My experience with sales people in radio is the way
to get the easy street is once you get with
the uh. I forget what they're called there that I
of the media buyers. The media buyers, I believe it is,

(29:04):
and so you know, they just buy a certain number
of spots every every month or whatever. I'm not sure
how the ticket game works and all that, and I
don't know what you're selling tickets to. But most of
all of human relations is is personal. So you've got
to get on the level. You're selling a product, but

(29:26):
you have to let the person know that you care
about them, and just like the basic stuff. I'm not
saying anything you have to go full Tony Robbins and
go that direction. But from what I've heard from sales people,
most of the successful sales people, it is, you know,
knowing about people's families and getting on that personal level.
And I don't even know if you can do that

(29:47):
in the ticket sales game. I'm not sure how that
racket works. Um, but you can slowly work on those skills.
Jennifer in Richmond, Virginia. Right, since has Ben, my question
for you this time is what is one of your
favorite travel vacation memories? Also, if you had the opportunity
and to guarantee that you would make it back alive,

(30:08):
would you want to visit and walk on the moon. Yes, yes,
hell yes, Jennifery. As far as the moon part, yeah,
you guaranteed me I'd come back and I'd be in
one piece, and I'd have that experience of being out
in the cosmos and looking back at this little blue
rock rotating around, thinking everything I've ever known and everything

(30:28):
that has ever you know in the humanity has been
in that little blue dot. My god, that would be awesome. Plus,
I think you'd see some cool stuff. I think you
see some stuff that they don't tell us about traveling
to the moon. Yeah, I don't know, that's a that's
a no brainer, right, But I mean I think there's
there's goblins and creatures and stuff that we don't know about.
And yeah, for sure, not believe that there's a other

(30:52):
other things out there but us. Yeah, oh definitely. Now
what those things are, who the hell knows, And but
there's something, there's something out there. And as far as
like the travel stories, yeah, I mean I remember family vacations.
I remember when you know the Mallard family is not
a camping family. Remember we tried to camp we failed. Um,
I remember that. Remember going to the Grand Canyon when

(31:12):
I was a kid, trips to Vegas, to Chicago to
see family in Chicago. Uh, I grew up in Orange County.
We'd go into l A to visit my relatives in
l A. I remember going to Hawaii, I mean northern California.
Just like random, random trips and very very fun mambies.
When when I was a kid, we had these big
family reunions because my family extended family spread out all

(31:36):
over the country, and the older generations of the family
always made it a point. I don't think it was
every year, but it was like every other year they'd
have a family reunion. They're usually in Phoenix, but sometimes
they were in Chicago, and we had the Midwestern family
and uh in other places, and so I I fondly
remember going to meet with my cousins and and uh,

(31:59):
you know all the the different characters that were in
the family and the older the older generation, which you
know they've died off now, but I have fond memories
of Uncle Joe and some of the some of the
people that we u we hung out with back there.
But I think that's most people. Right when you're a kid,
you remember certain certain things that stayed out about your
your childhood and trips that you made and things like that. Yeah. Yeah,

(32:23):
uh personally, like I had a family friend that would
take me to Disneyland every summer, Disneyland and Universal Studios.
That's awesome. Yeah, so that was fun. But uh yeah,
I know that's that's those are probably like the most
memorable trips for me personally, was doing that every summer.
And I was like gotten older. I have you know,
when I have I have nieces and you know, nephews

(32:44):
and things like that. And in fact, my sister in
law just she's got a couple of young kids, so
I'm waiting they're not quite old enough yet. But there's
that goldilog zone when you're a kid between nine and eleven,
where you that's the point you don't reset. You know,
there's a certain point you reset, you're not gonna remember stuff.
Usually it's it's different for everybody. But I don't remember
anything before I was like five, But for a lot

(33:06):
of people, it's like nine, nine to eleven right around
there as you start to figure things out a little bit,
but you're still a kid, and like that's the time
to take, you know, to have the trips to Disneyland
and those because those are lifetime memories that will influence
kids for like the rest of your life. Like I'm thinking,
like when I was a kid, the stuff I remember,

(33:26):
it was around that age nine, ten, eleven, twelve, right
around there. Yeah, no, I I I don't get the
people they take their infants to Disneyland, Like, uh, that
seems like a waste to me. Well because they're free,
but yeah, like when they start charging, like it's like,
you know, come on to really get the full experience,
it's gotta the kid's gotta be like, you know, seven, eight, nine,

(33:48):
I'd go nine to a nine to twelve someone in
those lines. So you gotta remember meeting Mickey, Yeah, exactly.
It's very important, very very important. All right, who else
do we have let's see page down here. Eric and
Omas has any chance that the polar vortex is karma
for the cheating as Stros. I hope the buzzers are

(34:10):
frozen now. Wow. Then he says, prayers out to everyone
that went through the polar votchecks uh in Texas. Yeah
that was pretty crazy. Yeah, I'm gonna say that that
had nothing to do with the cheating Astros, but the
downfall of the Rockets and the downfall of the Texans,
there is a correlation between what happened with the Astros.

(34:30):
Stephen Boston writes and says, if Cam Newton returns next season,
will teams know his injury passed and total lack of ability,
Will they will start really going after him? Or because
of his likability, will he be given a past. No,
he's not gonna be giving a pass. No, no, no,
they were, They were going after him this year. I

(34:51):
don't think that business operates where they don't go if
they you find a weakness. It's like anything the art
of war. You find your opponent's weakness and you attack.
So I can't If Cam comes back, holy crap, what
a what a disaster? Cam Newton is back? Is the
Patriots quarterback will have things will have have to gone

(35:12):
really wrong for that to happen. I think, Yeah, they
don't want to spend any money on a quarterback, and
he has spent a little bit. You can't sell Patriots
fans on another year of Cam. I just I just
don't think it'll work. Well. They were hyping up Jared Stidham,
the other guy, and then they never hardly play him
at all, and they was talking about he was gonna

(35:34):
be the heir to Tom Brady and all that didn't happen.
That was weird. That never felt real to me. Um, yeah,
well I thought it was. I was buying into it,
and then What's training camp started? Forget about it? I'm
Matt you Almira New York rights in. He says, what
is the song that comes on the radio that you
absolutely can't stand and turn off immediately? So I think

(35:58):
we all have one. He says, mine would be Life
is a Highway. He says, I f and hate that song.
I'm actually pissed right now just thinking about it. Um,
And so he then curses out Tom the guy that
made this song. Uh, you know, I I'm not good
with song names. My my thing, Matt is that I

(36:20):
I cannot stand the parts of songs where they just
repeat the lyrics over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over, and I just I'm done.
And there's a lot of the newer songs where it's
just you have, like I understand, you have verses and
you repeat verses, but I'm saying it's just one line

(36:43):
over and over and over again. I'm out. I'm out.
And you know, there's there's those lists of songs that
have the the most repetitive uh songs, which you know,
I again I don't know in names. I can look
them up if you want, but it's just I cannot

(37:05):
I cannot stand that. I just man, uh that there
was that pump Up, pump up the jam that's an
old one from back in the day. Heck uh even uh,
I don't know was it was it Funky Town? I
think it was that and it was that that was

(37:26):
trying to think of some of the older ones. But yeah,
that's what I had. Any song that is in your
head there both that you cannot stand, you know, I
I used it. I used Spotify mostly. I don't really
listen to the radio when I'm in my car, but working?
Are you working? Radio? Pet By? I do remember my
dad loves that song and I got a Evita. I
don't remember who does it. I remember the band, but

(37:48):
the first time I heard it, I just I begged
him to change it. And I think it's like thirteen
minutes long or something like that. So anytime he like
tries to listen to that song or talk about that song,
and just I can't do it. Yeah, that's that's my thing.
I think, the repetitive stuff. Um, I'm out of all right?
Who is next? Jason in Rocky Mount, Virginia, r J

(38:10):
and San Antonio. They both have similar questions about the
coldest weather we've ever been in. Uh, this is for
both me and Gagon. But Gagon again too lazy to
show up this week, so I will I will go first.
I have spent time in weather around below ten degrees

(38:31):
below ten degrees. I don't remember the exact temperature, but
it was on the East Coast. It was in Connecticut.
My trips back to Connecticut, I was doing stuff with
NBC or AT when I was listening my brother and
my relatives in New York. But I haven't usually gone
back when in the winter. Normally I would go back
in the summer where it's just humid and kind of nasty.

(38:53):
But I've only I've only spent maybe my life around
a week in that really terrible weather total probably and
then actually be fair like around here in the hills.
I've gone up to the National parks around here where
it does get to that temperature, but never like minus
thirty wind show, I've never been in that, But I
I do believe both the show that cold is cold,

(39:15):
like once you get to a certain point of cold,
I don't think it gets much worse than that. That's
my belief any I think I think the most the
coldest weather I've ever been in was like November in Chicago,
So I want to say it was like eight degrees
or something like that at night. But yeah, there's a
certain threshold where it's just like it's cold and there's
nothing that's really going to change that. All right, moving
on Ramon from Virginia Beach, right, since says, do you

(39:37):
consider Russi lumb would be the greatest talk show host
of all time? The goat? If not who is well?
Russia is on that big board uh, certainly for political radio,
because he pretty much created the genre of modern political
talk radio, which both obviously conservatives have copied Rush, but

(39:58):
liberal talk show hosts have used the Rush format just
with different rhetoric. So it's it's similar in that regard.
But yeah, Rush, Howard Stern the legends for me overnight
it was Art Bell, the late grade Art Bell, uh,
the king of overnight radio. And George Norry has done

(40:19):
a good job as a competitor, uh, you know, going
head to head with him, uh, in in that particular space.
And then something like who else are the forefathers of
modern radio? A lot of people saying sports radio is
Mike and the mad Dog at w f INN in
New York. Gym Rome had a lot for me. It's, uh,

(40:40):
you know other people. There's different people, but Russia is
on that that big board for his contributions obviously too
to radio Kevin in Rockford, Illinois, right since is my
wife and I are driving to Tampa, Florida from Rockford
this coming weekend. It's gonna be a long trip, so

(41:01):
you best believe I will have the Mallard Show on tap.
Good job by you, and and he he points out
that His wife is not a big sports fan, but
according to Kevin, I told her that you had the
voice combination of Jesus and Frank Sinatra and could take
the virginity of non sports listeners across the country. She's

(41:27):
still not convinced. So how how do I go about
listening to your show on on our road trip without
getting bitched at more so for the way back, because
we will already be there by the time this podcast
is available. Yeah, well, those are those are great points

(41:48):
by Kevin. Good job by you. And what would be
the way to sell the show? I'm I'm not I'm
not totally sure how to do that. I do know
from other listeners experiences and whatnot that I don't know
this is a compliment or not, But I have been
told that some people listen to the show and don't

(42:10):
even like sports, but they like the show for some reason.
I get that, and I get that. I don't know
how that could be like because it's I mean, the
monologues are about sports, right, and the rest of the
show we kind of goof around, but it's a nod.
It's another thing, and I like some people will just
be lonely and call up and I know they don't
listen to the show. You can tell you know it

(42:32):
was called they want someone to talk to and I
happen to be the person on at four in the morning,
and so they'll call up and you can tell they're
not really sports people and all that we get. I
get calls all the time on different shows that I'm
producing that are asking, uh, if this is the Ben
Mallor show. So, I mean, you know, you're a you're
a shoulder for them to cry on, or you don't

(42:52):
hear for them to tom I'm a radio shrink man. Actually,
the funny thing is I I don't know that management
agrees with this. I don't think they find it funny,
but I find it amusing. Some of the calls I
like the most are when people call up AND's like,
I'm having a problem with my girlfriend or um, I
having a problem with my boss and they asked me
that Dopy Overnight sports guy for advice. I was going

(43:14):
to kick out of that. I was like, those are funds.
A couple of months ago, or maybe maybe longer than that,
there was that guy that called in about his pet, Bobcat.
You remember that, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that
was a wild you were that you were in that night. Yeah,
that's not sports at all, but that's uh, that's good radio. Yeah,
our buddy from North Hollywood with his pet Bobcat. Yeah,
and that started as a sports call. Remember, he wanted

(43:35):
to talk about sports, and then somehow it morphed into
this thing with the the cat and he didn't want
to talk about it, and then we got him to
talk about it, and uh yeah that was that was
wild and uh man, oh man, oh man. The the
Bobcat call Pinto was the guy's Pinto and he's working

(43:58):
nights now so he's not able to call. He hasn't
been able to call in a while. But Pinto and
the Bobcat he was out about. There's a little a
cub bobcat there and the uh as it has domesticated
it until the podcasts aren't that big, until the Bobcat
decides that it's hungry and eats the face of the
Bobcat or eats the face of of Pinto. Alright, last one,

(44:21):
last one. Here we go Tom from St. Augustine, Florida. Right,
since says, how come you and Gagon don't YouTube the
podcast like Benny versus the Penny. The production was high
quality by the end of the season, and you got
that fancy ass background. Would be cool to watch YouTube bullshit,
thank you? Uh well, Tom, there's a couple of reasons

(44:45):
we don't do that. The podcast. Uh you know, there's
financial reasons. We would put it on YouTube to make money,
but this podcast is property of my Heart Media. We
do it under that umbrella, so I'm pretty sure they
wouldn't want us to sell the podcast the YouTube video.
And then we want people to download the the show

(45:09):
via I Heart or Apple or wherever you get your
podcast from. And so if we were put a platform
up on YouTube, which I'm I'm not against, if there
was some money in it, but that would take away
from the downloads. And ultimately we get judged and compensated
based on how many people download the podcast. And if
nobody downloads it, we are doing this pro bono for free.

(45:30):
Uh people downloaded, we will make a little bit of money.
We're not getting rich on it at all, and so
it's we're really about getting the downloads. I have considered
doing a different YouTube show we did Benny versus the Penny,
and there's some gambling possibilities that we've kicked around and
some other things that we've kicked around, and so we'll
we'll see what the futuroals. All right, Well, thank you Tom,

(45:50):
Thank you everyone that email. If we didn't get your email,
it either sucked or it didn't have time to get
to it. You'd be the judge of that. Do better
next week. And if you want to ask a question
for a future edition of the if our podcast mailbag,
there's two ways you can do it. Usually Wednesdays in
the morning we post on the Facebook page of the
show Facebook page Ben Maller Show. There's a link. You
can ask your question there in the public square. Or

(46:13):
you want to keep your question private and some people do,
like I'm a pilot, you can go on the Real
Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Real Fifth Hour at
gmail dot com and send your question and both the show.
Thank you very much, my man. Good job by you.
It was a pleasure to be here anytime, anytime you
survived three days of podcasting, three days of podcasting. Congratulations,

(46:38):
there's a gold star. All right, we'll be back tonight
on the radio breaking down all the big NFL gossip
and speculation, the news of the day, the news of
the weekend of the world of sports, the Ben Maller Show,
which will be on at eleven p m. Sunday night
in the West, two a m. Monday morning in the East,
and we'll take you all the way until six am

(46:59):
in the yapping, yapping and blabbing and barking and bloviating
and all of that. So we'll talk to you then
and see you bye bye