March 14, 2021 • 51 mins
It almost didn't happen, but the late call to the post office sees a bag full of your emails to answer.
Make sure to subscribe, rate, and post a review on iTunes whenever you get the chance.
Engage with the podcast by emailing us at RealFifthHour@gmail.com
Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and on Instagram @BenMallerOnFOX
David is on Twitter @DavidJGascon and Instagram @DaveGascon
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We got boom. If you thought more hours a day
dred minutes a week was enough, I think again. He's
the last remnants of the old Republic, the sole fashion
of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the
same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to
clearing house of hot takes, break free for something special.
(00:22):
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in
the air everywhere. We are back in better than ever.
On the Sunday Sunday Sunday edition of the Fifth Hour podcast.
Day podcast that was in danger. The mail Bag podcast
was in danger of not being uploaded this week. We
(00:44):
were considering just doing two podcasts and not doing the
mail Bag. I'll explain why in a second, But if
you have not been listening to the other podcast this weekend,
d Halt Derek call CEO, the president of a major
League baseball team with billions of dollars, was on our
podcast on Friday and we told some old stories. Derek's
(01:05):
a guy I worked with in sports radio who went
on and now runs the Arizona Diamondbacks. And so that's
a that's a cool podcast. You want to check that
out from Friday, and then yesterday we told tales of
the last year with COVID and did an homage to
a famous NBA broadcaster who passed away and had pop
(01:28):
quiz and whatnot. But today all about the mail bag
and Sash his way in from West of the four
oh five, a social climber and unsavory, manipulative character, the
pompous one David guess God, social climber and if I am,
(01:50):
I'm not a very good one. But I we'll try it.
So I don't know harder if I needed to, I could.
I'm not like the Megan Marco of fox Pots Radio Bye.
And you're not oppressed like Megan Marcos of people. Yeah,
there's no one's hearing me. Yeah, I do a television interview.
Oh my god. It was a great There was a
(02:12):
great meme that was out there that said, um, it
had oppressed millionaires from a royalty family with an oppressed
billionaire in Oprah Winfrey. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's it's wonderful.
Did you know that we got absolutely decimated on Apple
iTunes over the last week week and a half. I
(02:32):
did not know what happened. Had some some vultures that
are out there. I don't know if you want to
hear any of it, but I can certainly shine some
light on it if you'd like. We've been attacked here,
we have been. Gretchen Willets said title was too much repetition,
and then she added too much repetition. One star, I
(02:54):
was not good one star? Who is that person? Gretchen?
Is that real? I don't know who that is? Wretchen
will it's I don't know another one. E V Dog
twelve said used to be way more fun before the
guys dove deep into their conservative political agendas. Maybe move
it back to one show week with guests. The episodes
(03:15):
with picking games against the spread and with guests are
usually great. If not, either of these guys would make
great talking heads or guests for Sean Hannity on Fox
News Channel. They complain about athletes not sticking to sports.
Maybe take your own advice. That's amazing. I mean, well,
I if Sean Hannity wants to add me on, I mean,
(03:35):
who are the most powerful people in media? They're all
They're all conservative, are they? Well? Anything about Well, nobody
watches seeing it and people complain about seeing it, but
nobody when we watches MSNBC in comparison to like Fox News,
the ratings that they get Tucker Carlson, Hannity, that whole,
that whole lineup dominates as far as viewership is concerned. Um,
(04:00):
how do you feel about that your podcast just got
absolutely shipped on by a couple of people. Well, I
mean I did see Buddy Dog. I like that you
you focused on the negative Buddy Dogs as I absolutely
enjoy each episode, the different topics, the format makes this
show a joy to listen to each weekend. You could
have been positive and you could have been you know,
like me, Benny bright Side and looked for the positive.
(04:21):
But that is important. I seriously, we we would like
to get you know, we we early on pushed for
reviews of the podcast. We have more people listening now
to the fifth hour podcast then before. If you if
you have an Apple product, you're on Apple iTunes. I
know it's a pain in the ask to do a review,
but it does help us out. And uh, we'd like
to get I think we're like thirty away from three
(04:43):
hundred or something around that. If we could get to
that number relatively soon, and just you might think you're
you don't matter but you'd be one of those thirty
people if you have not written a review yet for
the fifth Hour podcast. That does matter. People do look
at that in management, and uh, you know that's that's
the case. I do like the people complaining. Now I'm guessing,
(05:07):
was it Eve Dog? Is that? Who was dog? A dog? Um? That?
If we talked about I assume he's a Team Blue.
That guy assumes that we were down the middle. No,
he's not done. If he's down the middle, he wouldn't care.
But if his Team Blue and we were on, you know,
doing the talking points with Team Blue, I don't think
(05:28):
he sends that message, right, I think he does. I
don't think he says, hey, why don't you go on,
you know with Rachel Yeah, Chris, Chris, Chris Cuomo, Yeah,
go with Chris Cuomo or something like. They wouldn't say that.
Shepherd Smith, Yeah, where's he at? He's at MSNBC. Yeah,
(05:53):
I remember he was at Fox for forever. It was
the daytime host. Yeah. Is anyone watching Shepherd's Smith on?
Let's seeing it. I don't know who cares. He's getting paid, right?
What are my favorite reviews? Uh? Well, I was ripping you,
but I know you don't bring that one up. I
appreciate it if you just be positive. I mean, well,
(06:14):
you started out with negative reviews and that was up
with it? Well, because those are current. We haven't had
any reviews in a long period of time, so I
just thought, hey, well the most current you know, negative,
but in the late the last day of February Buddy Dog, Yeah,
Bloody Dog five stars the two negative comments for Saturday
last weekend and also marks the third So what are
(06:36):
we talking about on Saturday? What did you bring up?
The triggered these pussy willows? So what was it? Well,
it was whatever was canceled last week? Wasn't there something
that wasn't there a cartoon that was canceled? Us? Dr Seux?
We're talking about Dr SEUs or something like that. So
I guess Eve Dog approves of the cancel culture, and so, uh,
(06:57):
burn these books and take it. Gretchen, I that's the
real name. Can you change your name on the Apple review?
Or is that maybe? But I think I think it's
more important that she should change her name in real life,
Like gret I know, that's a tough name she probably got,
you know, in the playground. They were probably you know
her name, Gretchen, I'm thinking the kids are not nice
to you on the playground. Just carry that into a
(07:17):
into life here, I'm imagined. I don't know or I
don't know if that's even a real person. Uh, but
I would think with that kind of name you would
end up getting some some abuse, which is a little
because typically the female listeners really love what I bring
to the party. So a little disappointing the review. Gretchen,
I didn't know there are females. I thought there's one gender,
(07:39):
and you're assuming that person is a female. That's a
wrong assumption to make. Bad job by you. Shame on you.
That's wrong with you, guys. But anyway, let's get to
the mail bag. I want to get through as many
of these as we can. The mail bag was in danger.
The mail bag was in danger. Now why was the
mail bag in endanger? I'm glad you asked. I'll tell you.
Uh Now, I pos every Wednesday on the show Facebook page,
(08:02):
a plea for the Mallam militia to submit questions, and
so you know, usually we get a similar amount of
questions every week. We've been very consistent on that over
the years. We've been doing the podcast. But for some
reason this week we had like three or I think
it was three or four questions and that was it.
(08:24):
I was like, holy crap, what happened. So I I
of course immediately said, wow, we're not gonna do the
mail bag. So I posted something on the Facebook page
pointing out that we better get more questions or there's
gonna be no mailbag this weekend, which I figured, you know,
we don't have to do this pod. This is like
an extra podcast that we do here out of the
goodness of our hard guest gun. Right. We could do
(08:46):
one podcast a week, we could do two podcast a week, right, um,
but we we choose to do the mailbag. And I
like answering questions. It's fun. I enjoy it. But if
there's no questions, what's the point of doing the mailbag.
But anyway, the mal Emlitia answered the call and they
rose up and we got tons of questions on Ben
(09:07):
Maller's show on Facebook and also a lot of email questions,
a lot of email questions Real Fifth Hour at gmail
dot com if you want to keep your question private,
So the same rules apply here, guestc on, We're gonna
go into this we're gonna answer as many of these
questions as we possibly can on the mail bag and
rapid fire, rat a tat tat. Are you prepared? Let
(09:29):
us go, all right, Mike, and Phoenix says, so what
would you do Ben if there aren't enough questions for
the mail bag? But I just said Mike, we wouldn't
have the mail bag, which Guesscot would love because I
gotta drag him in here by his hair to get
him to do the podcast, so he would love if
there were guests got every week. Hopes there's not enough
questions from the mail bag, so we don't have the mailbag.
(09:50):
By the way, I forgot to tell you this. My
hair looks awesome right now. It's long, it's brown, it's full,
and so does my hair. My hair looks gascon wonderful,
beautiful hair, flowing locks, so nice. I've got a little
salt and pepper and my beard. Boy, do I look good?
(10:13):
It's everyone looks great on radio or podcasting. My god,
are we gonna have the Mrs bick your head? Yeah?
Well she she is the official barber now at the
Mallar Manage. Yeah. Yeah, we we during the pandemic and
when the barbershops were closed by King Newsom, the Dictator.
(10:34):
We went on bought a hair cutting kit, and uh,
my wife enjoys cutting what's left of my hair. So
Glen in Chicago writes in the Windy City says, did
you guys use any pickup lines in your day or
even now? If so, what are they? That's his first
(10:55):
question is a follow up, but let's start with that.
Uh No, I didn't have any game. I had no
skills I had. I was fat, repulsive, no confidence with women.
It was a nightmare. It was a horrible situation and
it took me years and years to get over that.
But I didn't have any I always had buddies that
(11:17):
were very slick, and you know, I was like the
guy that would hang out with the cool people that
would go out and they were the center of attention
or whatever, and they would get you know, they had
all the pickup lines and all that. But I I
did not. I did not, You GUESSCON seemed like the
kind of guy that had the shenanigans with the pickup lines,
the ludicrous and we were still single, so you could
still use pickup line. I ran to a good hot
(11:38):
streak back in the day when I was in San Diego,
where I would approach women that didn't look like they
were having a good time, and I would ask point
blank what's his name? And more often than not, turn
out they were with a guy or a guy fucked
up and it ruined their night and then immediately just
(11:59):
went to a completely different directions. So that was always
an easy line to to throw out there on the
unsuspecting that was your go to, that was your Yeah,
just because you gotta. I mean, they like the fact
that you're observing them as opposed to just looking them
up and down. You're observing their their body language a
little bit, or seeing how they're Oh, come on, I
guess you know you have elevator eyes. Come on, guess absolutely.
(12:19):
You know we've had we've had those training sessions over
the years. Uh, you know, the harassment training and no elevatories.
I'm like, it doesn't every you know, you know what
I mean, everyone kind of do that, just that natural
human instinct to check out the other person. Um but anyway, Uh,
does spin Cycle Regina have a cameo account? Glenn? I
(12:41):
guess Glenn is a big fan and that spin Cycle
Regina in um no, I don't even know what spin
cycle regina. I don't know anything about her. I don't
know what she looks like anything like that. I just
know she calls the show. So but no, I don't
think she has cameo. J Bone in main Rights and says,
while you have had your own show, has there been
(13:03):
anyone you worked with that you genuinely didn't like? I
need names? He said, Uh, well, we will protect the
guilty by not giving out names. But there was there
was one former NFL player that I worked with that
I just did not get along with. But my general
rule is if you're lazy, I don't like it. And
(13:24):
I've had the misfortune of working with a fair amount
of people that just don't have any work ethic and ambition.
And I don't know that I would say hate, but
I I spend a lot of effort. I have aspirations
and goals, and it's it's always bothered me to be
around people that don't have a fire in their belly
and just don't don't seem to have any purpose. And
(13:44):
it's like that that cliche that the trope of the
factory worker or the government worker. I guess it's the
better way to look at it. This kind of punches
the time clock and doesn't put any extra effort to
go the extra mile if you will, and all that.
And you know, it's like that old line from Paul Harvey,
(14:04):
the radio legend, like you can always tell when you
were on the road to success because it's uphill all
the way, right. But a lot of people would rather
I get it the path at least resistance you want
to go down to. But those are the type of
people that bothered me. But it was one NFL player
that just thought because he had played in the NFL,
he didn't have to do any prep or prepare and
just could come in here and tell stories. That was
a pain in the ass. And then I've had some
(14:25):
other people that you know, just didn't quite bring the
amount of effort that I would have liked, and so
that bothered me. I'm pretty maniacal about that, as you know, guess. Yeah.
I've had people call me out um on the television
side for that, so that I'm I'm hard to work
with because because you have ambition and aspirations and you
(14:50):
you know, because I want to have things souped up
on the production side or the the camera footage or
just the coverage overall. And and some guys take that
criticism and and run with that, and others kind of
turn the way to the other way around and feel
like you stabbed them in the back or you're attacking
them because you just want to have a good show.
(15:10):
It's pretty odd. Yeah, well, there is a problem we
have in our business. Every business has problems. One of
the problems with the media business is a lot of
people get into media so they don't have to work, right,
I mean, because you figure what these are easy jobs.
I mean, you're going and you talk for four hours
and you just show up, you turn the mic on,
or in television, you just you know, I just do
as little as possible and you cut corners. And yeah,
(15:32):
it is. It is a problem. Yeah, first world problem.
But you know, cutting corners in general is a bad idea.
Just mailing it in I just don't I just can't
stand that anyway. All right, thank you for the question.
J Bone in Maine. Barry from Nashville, Ah, He says, Ben,
this is via emails, has been when the gremlins strike
the equipment at the Mallard mansion, who breaks out into
(15:53):
a worse flop sweat, you're Eddie question. I'm gonna go
Eddie now. I in my situation, I feel like I've
done everything I can to get ready the equipment. If
the equipment fails because the line we use to connect
is down, there's nothing I can do. Like, you know,
(16:14):
as long as I'm not the one f and up,
then I I don't really I worry about it. I
get up. I get frustrated because I spend so much
time getting ready for the show and you know, trying
to plan out in my head what I want to
do and and put some bullet points down things like
that to get ready for the show. And so it
does frustrate me. I feel like I've wasted my time
when we get knocked off the air for whatever reason.
(16:36):
But I gotta think Eddie's feeling the feeling the heat
more because Eddie doesn't prepare to do a talk show.
He doesn't. He comes in and he just prepares to
do news updates and then he'll react to what we
talk about what I'll talk about. But yeah, it's a
much different dynamic when you're doing the act in the
in the as Mark Patrick said, back into the Big Chair, Uh,
(16:56):
it's it's a different experience, and so if you're not
prepared for that and you get tossed into it, it
it's pretty difficult. You can fake it, but it's hard
to really fake it till you make it. So the
real j D and cans uh City says my question.
Has Coope de Loupe ever persuaded any of you to
(17:17):
partake in the Devil's lettuce? Uh No, no, I have not.
I have not partake in the Devil's less. I beg
of my younger days. There's at some parties and so
I guess second hand, I guess I have, but I've
never and we're actually gone down that road. Margie, Right,
(17:39):
since it's outside of sports, what are your other interests
and hobbies? Uh? Well, I love documentary, like going out
in the nature, believe or not, you know, and the
weekends going out to the beach during the summertime is
always a lot of fun, checking out the the saying,
clearing my mind from the nonsense of sports radio, the
(18:00):
grind of sports talk radio, having to worry about Lebron
James and all these other nim rods. So I like
to get away, and you know, I'm just kind of
unplug for a little bit, enjoy traveling. Don't get to
do much of that these days, checking out new places,
and some things like that. I mean, these are pretty
standard standard hobbies I'm I'm also one of my other things,
(18:24):
I love the origins of words. I like to It's
one of my michigas things where I like to study,
like the history of phrases and words and things like that,
why we say the things that we say, where they
came from. And Uh, It's it's cool because I can
use that on on the show. Like I feel like
(18:45):
I can use that on the show, so like I
can work it in somehow, like for example, the there
was a marketing slogan in the nineteen nineties, uh, to
sell motorcycles and it was go Bigger, Go Home, and Uh,
that came from Harley Davidson. And I've actually I've used
(19:06):
that from I just I don't know why I popped
into my head, but I've used that randomly, uh as
a point of reference. So like dumb stuff like that.
Jess Scarren, on the other hand, um boy, his hobbies. Uh,
he likes to hang out with the Hollywood elite power brokers,
schmoozing and are the ones that write the checks, they
(19:28):
pay the bills? Yeah, the road Uh John the Jailer
and Alan town p A right, Since says Ben and Gascon,
if you gave up all the money and fame of
working in sports radio and became a doctor, what field
of medicine would you practice? Now? Does a plastic surgeon count?
(19:51):
That would, of course be for the one per centers?
Why so not only John the jailer. Would I have
to overcome the love of radio that's in my DNA
and my blood at this point, but I would then
have to overcome some of my fears of blood and
things like that. Um, but listen, I mean doctors, all
(20:12):
doctors are important, um in one way or another. I
mean even people like dentists that having good dental hygiene
obviously makes things easier for you. Um like trying to
think is there a safe way because you're you're thinking
about this general practitioner. Yeah, but if you go into
(20:33):
neurology or your nose and throat or an ophthalmologist or
an ophthalmologist, well, how and how about you know oncology? Uh? Right,
the study of cancer. I mean that's such a horrible disease, cancer,
and I lost my mom to cancer, my aunt, my
uncle the cancer. How about this, What if you're an anesthesiologist.
(20:58):
Oh yeah, you put them put them down for the count. Yeah,
but I mean mad. If you funk up in that job,
they die. That's that's fatal. Yeah, lights out. Yeah, there's
the x ray person, the x ray texts. Actually, doctor
always felt. I know we have doctors that listen to
the show. But my experiences, which is limited, think, you know,
(21:21):
for now, until I get older, if I make it,
look if you make it when I spend more time
with the doctors. But um, I feel like the nurses
do so much that I feel like the nurses to
actually do most of the work, you know what. It's
uh and they don't get paid as much, but they do.
I guess that's why you become a doctor because you
can kind of come in there and you know, you
spend five minutes the nurse spends thirty minutes. You're good. Actually,
(21:42):
you know what, I can't believe I I didn't say this.
I'd want to be an orthopedic surgeon. Why well, because
if if we're in this line of work and we
have to be removed for a minute, we could be
orthopedic surgeons, and then you can treat athletes that get
injured and need to have Liam yours UTR Jackson. You'd
(22:02):
have to give up the sports radio life. That's okay,
It's like I have a sports radio life anyway. Yeah, Now,
John the Jailer, we actually have a surprise for you
because someone, a little birdie in your world has informed
me that Gasco we have a hero. We have a
someone that has saved someone's life listening to our podcast. Yeah,
(22:28):
that would be none other than the great John the Jailer.
And apparently recently at work he saved an inmate who
was trying to hang himself. He called the code apparently
as I'm being told here on his radio, and he
lifted this uh this poor guy uh and undid the
(22:48):
NEOs and the inmate will actually live and uh that
is tremendous and and so uh John, good job by
you and brings up memories of Jeffrey Epstein right back
Nobody picked him up there back in in New York.
But John's a jailer I think in Pennsylvania if I
(23:10):
remember correctly. And by the way, it was his birthday
and so happy birthday. And uh and and John, let
me tell you something. I'm not gonna say my source.
I will not reveal my source. Guess ghn, I will not.
You know, the Naked streets talk, they talk, but I
cannot reveal my source. I will only say I will
only say here as a you know, tales from the
(23:32):
Naked City where the names were admitted to protect the guilty. Uh.
It may or may not be your wife, Kimberly. I'm
not gonna say. I'm not gonna say it was your
wife Kimberly that reached out. But happy birthday, John the Jailer.
You've been a loyal minion in the Mallard militia for
so many years. And we do thank you. I thank you.
I don't know if giscon thanks you, but I thank
you for supporting Yeah, of course that's uh in tremendous John,
(23:56):
by and say yeah, and yeah, congratul congratulations. Not everyone
say that they saved someone's life in in their in
their existence, and you, uh, maybe you do that all
the time. I don't know, but that's uh, that's pretty cool,
So good job by you all right, Next one from
Brandon in Wisconsin. This is a long one from emailing,
(24:16):
says Ben and David. During Lent, I decided that I
was going to fast and only eat one meal a day,
per your expertise. So, boy, I am not a big
tub of good by any means. I'm about six five
to thirty five, but but I do consider myself a
good Catholic. Boy. I wanted to run a forty eight
(24:37):
hour fast and see if I could do it. I
got to fifty hours before we went out for fish
last Friday. That meal was delicious. He says. I. I
know that you talked at length about your gallbladder removal
and how it has done a number on your stomach,
but are you sure it's not just the fasting. The
reason I asked is I had a rather bad moment.
(25:01):
He says, Okay, so yeah, you had the Tennessee trots
as we call it. Yeah, little Dysenterry. Um, Yeah, I
mean some people have said that. I do know from
when I talked to the doctor after I had my
gall bladder out. They said that because you don't have
your gall bladder, when you eat a lot of like
(25:22):
heavy foods, fried foods, you're gonna be on the poop train.
You know, you're gonna have the diaper, gravy going and
all that. So um, I know that, but it is
I will agree with you that when you do a
forty eight hour fast, I usually try to do a
sixty five plus hour fast. I don't make it. I
would like to do seventy two, but I normally end
(25:43):
up eating before the seventy two hour mark during the week.
But yeah, we need an hour pretty much no matter
what I eat. After I fast for a couple of days,
it's uh, it's a run to the throne, right, you
are looking for a porta potty to give a big
steaming dump. I mean, so it does clear you out.
I think there's obviously a medical reason behind that. I'm
(26:05):
not a doctor, I can play one on the podcast
that because you're the stomach lining. When you don't have
food in your stomach for a few days, things change
in there, and then when you put food back in,
everything kind of goes wild. Right, I think that that's
my layman, you know, dumb guy theory on what's going on.
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
(26:26):
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox sports
radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app.
Search f s R to listen live. It's always nice
or it's always important. I don't know if you do
this at all, but drinking or having a probiotic or prebiotic,
it's great to get those strains into your your digestive track. Um, yeah,
(26:48):
I don't do that, clean the guts, doing a lot
of water. But yeah, when you go over I think
it's twenty eight hours. I think it is. And when
you go over that time yourself start to rejuvenate. And yeah,
well that's why I do it because I did a
lot of damage guest on when I was a big lardass.
So I'm trying. I feel like I'm getting I'm not
getting much back, but I'm getting a little back. I
feel like I'm getting a little back every every week.
(27:09):
It's good. Yeah, regenerating cells, because God knows I need
some cells regenerated, that is for sure. Brandon continues his message.
He says, I mentioned before that my wife and I
are expecting twins. So we are trialing new vehicles and
we have one that we are driving. We drove over
the weekend on our way home from the fish Fry.
(27:31):
I thought I was going to pass wind and ended
up shooting my pants terribly, he says, in a brand
new vehicle that's not ours. Oh man, that's a great story,
he says. I panicked. I got home and immediately jumped
in the shower, but always thinking in the back of
my mind, I ruined a seat in the vehicle by
some stroke of luck, not a spot in the new ride.
(27:55):
What the hell is happening to me? He says, there
you go. Well we answered, But Brandon, that's a good story.
And see then you would learn the art Brandon in
Wisconsin of finding a high end auto detailer that would
have to clean and acid wash the inside of the car.
But that's that's funny. Man. I wonder if he's having
(28:15):
boys or girls. Well, he might be having one of each, right,
might be having one of each. Maybe they don't know.
Some people wait, some people all right, uh, this is
from Tammy says, hello from Davenport, Iowa. I love your
fifth hour show. It's awesome, he says. I heard one
of your recent shows of how you started in radio,
(28:36):
and it kind of resonated with me something I'd like
to do someday. I hear from many people that I
have a great radio voice. Tim says, I've even done
some sample work, but really nothing. It's nothing's been on
the radio. I have kind of a modest set up
in my home and lets me do some decent voice
work with audacity. I like to impress as company, friends, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Um.
(29:03):
So I don't know if there's really a question in there.
I guess he's he wants to get into broadcasting. Uh,
pretty obvious. There He's says, take care, God bless and
make America great again. There you go. Um yeah, well, timmy, hey,
listen to the first step is to actually, you know,
put your foot in the door. I don't know how
(29:24):
old the guy you are and all that. And you
know there's plenty of radio stations around Iowa, and you
gotta just get your foot in the door. Um. But
you can. You can do voiceover work from home. The
problem is a lot of that. You need an agent
for um, and you you've got to send in your
your your sizzle tapes to get people to hear them. Um. So,
(29:47):
like any business, it's really not how good you are.
It's who you know that's gonna matter more than anything.
So you have to network. You gotta do the groundwork
and make connections and start on the local level and
and work your way up and you know, one person
knows another person and then before you know what you're
you're you're doing something big. So you do voice over
(30:10):
stuff gascon, don't you. Yeah. I think the one thing
that comes into play with with that is they they
say that it doesn't matter how good or how bad
your voice is, it matters how good you are with copy.
So if you're acting, if you're enunciating, if you're clear
with your speech and your articulate, then that gives you
(30:30):
a better chance than just having great pipes or even
just awful pipes, because there's always a niche for somebody
in there. But yeah, you send that stuff out. Typically
a real is about sixty seconds long, and that's the max.
And once you create a real, I have it properly produced,
sent it off to agents and see if they're interested
in uh working with you, and then they start sending
(30:52):
auditions and you start booking a few things and then bam,
it can become profitable. Yeah, or you can just be
a panhandler in Ohio and somebody will hear your golden
voice and then then whatever happened to that guy? Didn't
he relapse? Oh? Is that Ted Williams? Right? Was that
his name? The same name as the baseball guy. That's
(31:12):
a great story, though, it was a great story until
it one sideways. Yeah, he had the voice of god man,
he had a golden voice. And didn't he get like
a book deal or something out of that? And then
then there was a whole He was a radio guy,
wasn't his story? He was a radio guy and then
he got into the drugs and the booze and then
(31:33):
he found it. He was homeless and he was like
doing small crime stuff. He was a criminal, and uh,
you know, somebody posted it. I think it was somebody
posted a YouTube video and then he became this viral sensation.
I wonder if he's still doing that though, I don't know.
That was like ten years ago, probably a long time ago.
(31:55):
Yeh oh wait a minute, hold on a second. As
of October twenty nineteen, I'm reading here on the internet,
Ted Williams is working on a new reality show called
Second Chance. So that was as of two two years ago.
Interested and and uh five five years ago he was
working back in radio. Um oh, but that lasted like
(32:20):
six months. Yeah uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
All right. Well if I if I ever put a
book out, I'll do the tape. I'll do the book
on tape. You know. I could do that. The big
seller audio books, the voiceover, there's some good money in
that they do through Amazon and do that. So somebody
in one of my radio friends told me Adam Carolla,
(32:41):
who's written a lot of books. I like at Adams good.
Adam Caroll is really good. But he's a podcast guy
only now. But Adam Carolla, I heard from somebody in radio.
When he does the the audio book for the books
that he writes, he just talks. He doesn't read the book.
He just like he just like recreates what he thinks
was in that chapter of the book. He doesn't actually
read it verbatim or any of it. From that from
(33:04):
what I've been told, Yeah, I don't know if that's
true enough, But I've never heard one of his audio books.
Maybe somebody can verify that or not. Alright, Uh, which
French fry do you like? The best crinkle shoe, string
steak or other for you? And Mr West of the
four or five. That's from Valls fan Jimmy in Fayetteville, Tennessee.
(33:25):
None is that So he's not including sweet potato fries, then,
well it's more of the shape. I mean, you could
you know boogie as somewhat healthy. You think those sweet
potato fries are the way to go, But I don't know.
Fat fries from from fat Burger pretty awesome. Yeah, those
are like, uh, well, steak fries the big that Now
(33:46):
do you have a big border fries? I think that's
really what he's asking. McDonald's fries I think is number
one for me. They put sugar on those, you know
those I recreated those. I gotta I gotta rip off
recipe on YouTube and you soak them in sugar. That's
why they taste them. Strike that McDonald's is tied with
Weener Schnitzl for friese fries are fucking amazing. Yeah, I'm
(34:08):
now I like my favorite fry right now is that
you cheese not not cheese creds. What's poutine? The Canadian
where you have both the best of both worlds. You
put a tremendous you know whatever ribbi steak on top
and with the cheese and man, Poutine is the way
to go. But I I like you know, I'm I'm
(34:28):
not picky. I like um, you know, steak fries, crinkle
cut fries are good. Potato wedges KFC. I don't know
if they still do these potato wedges. YEA not a
fan of the potato wedge. You AIN'TI potato witch? Yeah,
a little boring, a little bland. Depends on the spice.
It really, it's all about the spice there. Yeah. I
(34:49):
like fat fries, fat fries and sweet potato fries. You
like your fries fat? Huh. There's a joke there somewhere.
What about tater tots? Tatter touts? That really fries? Now,
they're good, They're just little balls of potato. I'm down
for him. Curly fries when properly seasoned. I remember when
I'm back in my fast food days, Arby's pretty good
curly fronts. Say Jack in the box, right, Yeah, Jack
(35:11):
in the box too. Um. Carl's Jr. Which is Hearty's
if you're east of a certain point in America, But
Carl's Jr. Out here in the West. They used to
have really good crinkle cut fries and then they changed
their front. Yeah they fuck that up. Yeah, they have
that clearly mistake by someone in management. They're a bad
(35:33):
job by them. Um. Then you have the the homemade fries,
which are just kind of chopped up potatoes, and I'm
not a big big fan of that. More I think
that more like a breakfast fry. Yeah alright, I mean
more minutes can we do on French fries? We were
(35:54):
think we're at our end here or end point. I
when I went to Paris a few years ago, Oh
here we go. Always working in a subtle pat myself
on the back when I was in Paris. It's it's
a random observation, but every pizza that has ordered there's
always an egg in the middle of it. And every meal,
(36:18):
it doesn't matter if it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner, everybody
was typically eating French fries with It didn't matter what
your entree was. People were ordering French fries. You don't
see that here in the United States. Now, how do
you feel about the shoes the shoe string fry? Are
you pro or against shoe string fries? I'm not a
big fan. I don't mind. I like the shoe string,
(36:40):
like the onions, pound of onions. I'm conflicted because the
outback has the the onion, bloom blooming onion. Yeah, what's
that Lucille's barbecue seals. They've got the onion, like a
ball of onion thing too that they've got pretty good.
I I drenched those things in barbecue. So good, so
(37:04):
bad and so good at the same time. And then
those match there's these match dick fries, which are even
smaller than shoe string five. What the hell are those?
You should know that being west of the four oh five,
they're really skinny. They're like shoe string fries, but they're
shorter and a little crisp here. But it's normally something
that served at like a high end restaurant, the kind
of places you like to eat, you know, steak place
(37:25):
with a little side, a little, a little small portion
of the match dick fries. There's a great spot in
Torrance called the Loft. It's this Hawaiian restaurant and i'd
go there back in the day when I played ball
at El Camino, and all the simoons would go there
before practice and we order a large plate of chicken
taraki and it would come with macaroni salad and these
(37:48):
large fat French fries, and I would just dip the
French fries into the barbecue sauce with the araki sauce.
It was. It was fucking phenomenal. Have fond memories there.
It's like telling a story when I put you your
glory days. Yeah, because it's just amazing to me that
I would go with a bunch of these Samoans. We'd
eat this before practice and it'd be like I was
(38:08):
towing a truck during practice and all these Simonans who
had calves that are bigger than my head. Yeah, no problem. Yeah.
We Yeah, my high school football team and a couple
of Samonan guys and they were they were just built massively.
I mean they have at least the guys on my
football team. I'm sure that not all the people from
somehore are the same way, but uh, but those guys
were huge, big lurking guys and built like a tank.
(38:33):
Built like a tank, these guys. How about waffle cut fries, Yeah,
those are solid. Now. The only problem I had with
waffle cut fries is the the volume of fries. I'm
a big volume guy with fries, right, you know, And
and I feel like when they give you restaurants give
you waffle cut it's only like six or seven. You know,
it's a small amount, it's a finite amount. Um. But
(38:55):
we mentioned potato wedges. You're not a fan. I'm okay
with the potato wedge. I'm trying to think, well, you
know in in you've been to London, right in in
in the UK, don't they they fish and chips are
actually they're just you know, they're the actual chips right
their potatoes and yeah, yeah, they're all right. The food
(39:16):
in London is not good, the food and the dental
work or not. I'd probably like it, though. I like
fish and chips. That's the only fish I'll eat. I'd
probably like the food in London just eating that maybe,
I mean drink beer and they got tons of beer
out there. Now about what about the they call them
home fries? Not the ones I was talking about earlier.
These are these are the kind that they leave the
(39:37):
back of the potato on. You know what I'm saying.
I don't think what's that. I don't think I've ever
had any of those? No, No, yeah, I think I've
reached my limit on really maxed out on French fries.
And yes, we've done a solid I like garlic fries.
My faily fries are good. My favorite fries, bag fries.
(39:59):
Bag fries. Agg fries are always good because you feel
like you exhausted the entire container of French fries and
you just put your hand in that bag and there's
a couple of lurking. Bag fries are special. Uh what
about animal style? You go animal style? I never done
animal style, Never done animal style. Oh it's pretty good.
(40:19):
They put like thousand Island dressing. Uh. I don't think
it's actually that happened something else, but yeah, it's onions.
It's solid, man. They get their in and out sauce
on there. They put little cheese on top. My yummy, yummy, yummy,
yummy yummy and my real fat days in San Diego,
my buddies took me to the spot in uh Mission
(40:40):
Valley in San Diego called Santana's and they would have
these tremendous uh California burritos. So it's either chicken or
Carnea soda with French fries and salsa and cheese. And
there'd be days I'd have two or three of them
in a single day. But when I didn't want to
have those, I'd have Carnia soda fries. Yeah, Well, you
(41:04):
love carniata absolutely, and I'm I'm all about the poutine
cheesey fries, you know, so it's good as well. Cheese fries,
chili cheese fries. Yeah. I used to, Well that's Tommy's.
I used to go to Tommy's and get the chili
cheese fries. That was always my thing at Tommy's three
in the morning. Sitting in the parking lot of Tommy's
in Hollywood. You've got a triple you know, cheeseburger in
(41:25):
one hand, You've got a whole bag of chili cheese
fries on the other, and you're living large and you
feel that for like two days when you eat that
meal at three in the morning. Chris and Maracca to
Iowa writes and he says, you mentioned cameo a lot.
Thank you for that. Chris. By the way, I do
mentioned cameo a lot if you want to personalized video message.
But why do you even need them? He says. Can't
you offer the same thing through your social media and
(41:47):
cut them out and save the cash? He says, what's
my cut for this great advice? Well, I could do that, Chris,
but it's just easier to do it on a cameo
and it's not it's not something that I mean that interested.
If somebody wants to do it and I feel I
feel like it's more panhandling if I did it that way,
(42:08):
do you know what I mean? Like the way I
have it, I means it's a service. Cameo offers a service.
There's a lot of people on there, and if there's
something you choose, if you're interested in that, if you're
a fan, a super fan, and and that's something that
would be important to you to have a cameo, then
you know where to find it. But I'm not gonna
like solicit people to you know, reach out and send
(42:28):
me a check in the mail or something like that.
You know, it doesn't I know, it's the same thing,
I guess, but uh yeah, they just PayPal you real
quick for a quick for a monogue. Uh. He also
says why do NFL teams leak cuts? Isn't it more
honorable to talk to the players and then make the announcements. Well, often, Chris,
(42:50):
it's the agents that leaked that stuff because they're trying
to get interest for their player or to get the
team in trouble. So the team might keep sending player uh,
Pierre in Springfield. Right, since this Ben, I'd like to
I'd like you to pull out your Benny the Bookmaker
visor and give out the odds that your podcast executive
(43:11):
producer would dip his toes into the verbal octagon against you.
And where would the Sharps lay their cash number two,
as I previously suggested to you, Possibly a w w
F style handicap match where he could team up with
Brian Finlay to take you on. If he doesn't feel
up to the task by himself. Well, listen, Pierre, no chance,
(43:36):
all right? You know how awkward and uncomfortable it would
be for gascon and filling you put both those guys together.
You don't have ten brain points, all right, nothing, Uh,
and I would dominate them. You wouldn't do it, guest,
because you'd be embarrassed and you'd never be able to
come on any of these podcasts. Again, I I don't
I don't typically attack my own blood, so I don't
(43:59):
shoot shots that people at Fox Sports Radio. Brian Phinley tried.
He came on the area, attempted getting the octagon. We
schooled him, We put him in his place, We put
him in a body bag. Yeah, I would never do that.
Part of it's because I'm really really I go for
the fucking heart and so I don't like doing that side. Layoff,
lay off the sauce. You get what I'm saying. A
(44:19):
couple more, John in Burbank in Sokow says, what are
your thoughts on the UH contraction? He says, forty teams
from minor league baseball hate it? Hate it? John, hate it.
We had Derek call on. I know he kind of
repeated the mantra from baseball, but I I don't like
it's it's obviously cost cutting. It's they're claiming it's because
(44:40):
the fields were not that good, but they didn't really
care about that. It's it's more of a financial thing. Yeah.
I mean he's in Burbank, so he knows. Lancaster Jetawks
just got closed up too. Oh is that right? Yeah,
they're a part of the California League, so lank Cow.
I didn't really know more. Lancaster JetHawks. One other Collies
did they get? CALLI so Bakersfield, Lancaster and High Desert
(45:03):
those are the three that are now gone. San Bernardino
still around and the um like that sucks, you know.
I was actually I guess I can say it now,
but we we were in talks of the great Brian Golden,
who's a sports writing legend in the High Desert and
a friend of mine. He's It was very tight with
the people that ran the JetHawks. They were gonna have
(45:23):
I threw out the first pitch at one of their
games years ago, and they were gonna have me back
in fact last season for the season, which never happened.
We were gonna have a Ben Maller Knight in Lancaster
and have the Mallard Militia get together, and we had
this whole big plan. We're gonna go all the truck
drivers to come hang out and all that stuff, and
then the season got washed away. I guess that will
never happen now. That sucks. That's terrible. We're gonna have
(45:46):
to hook up with one of the other colleague teams.
That's no. I hate it though. It's terrible. Yea. You know,
they had a really nice ballpark in the launching pad
they called it there in Lanka that you put a
fucking ball in the air there. It was a wind shot.
Every single time you've launched a ball and the wind
would take it out. It didn't matter that place. Yeah,
(46:07):
it was. They were the Colorado Rockets affiliate and it
was perfect. It was like you were in the in
the Mile High City. Well, we were out there. They
were the briefly the Red Sox. They were the astros
of affiliate cheating astros for a while. Kevin in Kansas, Right,
since it's been with all of your experiences in radio
and journalism, I know my journalists, have you considered publishing
(46:28):
a book. You have so many stories it would be
great reading. A lot of work, but a worthy project. Yes, Kevin,
I have for years said I would love to write
a book. I have been in talks with one person
in particular, and um, but there's a lot of bureaucracy.
There's a lot of red tape to get the green
light on a book self published. I could do that.
(46:49):
I could do that, but I want to do it right.
Like I want to do a book, I might only
be able to write one. So I want to do
a good book, a book that the big fans of
the show would like, but it also has to be
relatable to people who don't like the show. I mean,
you're trying to grow the audience. Um, so there's a
lot that goes into it. But I would love to, Kevin,
And all we need is a publisher to say, go
(47:12):
do it, knock yourself out, and if that doesn't happen,
maybe we will self publish the book and see if
we can get people to to buy. As Jason Smith
said a couple a couple of podcasts ago, that you
need the numbers like five thousand, right, you gotta sell
five thousand books. If you can sell five thousand books,
which seems like it's not that much because we have
(47:33):
a lot more, many more people listening to the show
that than five thousand. The audience is much bigger than that, obviously,
hundreds of thousands of people that that listened on a
nightly basis live and then more many more that listen
on the podcast. But the problem is getting them actually
buy the book. You know a lot of people like,
(47:53):
oh yeah, I like to I'm not buying the book,
you know, so anyway, but I would love to do that, Kevin,
and hopefully that will that will be accomplished here. Jack
in Greensboro, North Carolina, right scenes has been with all
of the ongoing space exploration as well as a UFO
sighting by Baker Mayfield. I find myself pondering the possibility
(48:14):
of other life out there? What say you, Uh, yeah, Jack,
I I am a hundred percent I'm not. I'm a
hundred percent convinced that there is other life. I think
there's probably many planets that are just like Earth is
similar enough. And you think about looking up into the
heavens and seeing all the stars which are just the suns,
(48:36):
and all the planets rotating around those stars, and you know,
your head one explodes. But it's just the math on
that even if only one percent or less than one
percent had a system like Earth, a solar system similar
to Earth, then there would be endless amounts of planets
(49:00):
of people that are probably just as barbaric and cold
blooded people around here. But Yeah, I absolutely think there's
there's plenty of life out there. I wouldn't be shocked
if advanced civilizations made some kind of contact with this planet.
And I'm I'm going full uh full Illuminati, Uh cover up?
(49:24):
Whatever what about you guess? Hunt? Yeah, I believe it's
just amazing to me that we have the capabilities and
have had for such a long time to have telescopes
that see so far into outer space. It's a gorgeous thing.
And then for us to make that push to go
not only from Earth to the Moon but now to Mars,
(49:45):
well it's really one of those things where you have
to go off the grid. You know, you don't we
we have light poisoning here in l A. But when
you get out into the nature and you're away, and
then you just oh my god. Yeah, it's just endless.
It just goes on for for and it's just crazy
to think about all of that and to think that,
(50:05):
you know, we're you gotta be pretty naive to think
you're and narth assists not stassistic. They think that you're
the only the only life that's out that all that
talk about being one of the millions all bullshit. Yeah, yeah,
I told you, Yeah, I could see a scenario Like
I was a kid, I used to watch The Twilight Zone,
Like there's there's other parallel dimensions, there's planets just like
(50:29):
this with different outcomes, you know, things like that. It
wouldn't be wouldn't be shocked. Maybe we'll find out something
when we check out. Maybe you know, we'll get all
the answers who know. Anyway, the great, the great mystery
of life. All that said, we have plenty more questions.
Actually we did not get to I thank you guys
for answering the call on the mail bag. All of
you remember, we've gotten some trolls that have attacked the
(50:52):
podcast review on iTunes, so we need some positive reviews
to make up for the douche bags that attempted to
attack the Fifth Our. If you remember the Malle Militia,
this is a call to arms called arms. Answer the call,
respond with positivity, and that's if you've taken the oath,
(51:13):
you know what to do. Have a great Sunday. We're
back on the radio. I am anyway tonight eleven o'clock
in the West. That would be two am in the
East on Monday morning. Selections Sunday and UM, we'll actually
pretend like we're talking college basketball and whatever the big
news is over the weekend. We'll break it all down
in the NFL and whatnot. Have a great day. We'll
(51:34):
catch you then. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports
talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows
at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I
Heart Radio app. Search f s R to listen live.
We got boom. If you thought more hours a day
dred minutes a week was enough, I think again. He's
the last remnants of the old Republic, the sole fashion
of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the
same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to
clearing house of hot takes, break free for something special.
(00:22):
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in
the air everywhere. We are back in better than ever.
On the Sunday Sunday Sunday edition of the Fifth Hour podcast.
Day podcast that was in danger. The mail Bag podcast
was in danger of not being uploaded this week. We
(00:44):
were considering just doing two podcasts and not doing the
mail Bag. I'll explain why in a second, But if
you have not been listening to the other podcast this weekend,
d Halt Derek call CEO, the president of a major
League baseball team with billions of dollars, was on our
podcast on Friday and we told some old stories. Derek's
(01:05):
a guy I worked with in sports radio who went
on and now runs the Arizona Diamondbacks. And so that's
a that's a cool podcast. You want to check that
out from Friday, and then yesterday we told tales of
the last year with COVID and did an homage to
a famous NBA broadcaster who passed away and had pop
(01:28):
quiz and whatnot. But today all about the mail bag
and Sash his way in from West of the four
oh five, a social climber and unsavory, manipulative character, the
pompous one David guess God, social climber and if I am,
(01:50):
I'm not a very good one. But I we'll try it.
So I don't know harder if I needed to, I could.
I'm not like the Megan Marco of fox Pots Radio Bye.
And you're not oppressed like Megan Marcos of people. Yeah,
there's no one's hearing me. Yeah, I do a television interview.
Oh my god. It was a great There was a
(02:12):
great meme that was out there that said, um, it
had oppressed millionaires from a royalty family with an oppressed
billionaire in Oprah Winfrey. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's it's wonderful.
Did you know that we got absolutely decimated on Apple
iTunes over the last week week and a half. I
(02:32):
did not know what happened. Had some some vultures that
are out there. I don't know if you want to
hear any of it, but I can certainly shine some
light on it if you'd like. We've been attacked here,
we have been. Gretchen Willets said title was too much repetition,
and then she added too much repetition. One star, I
(02:54):
was not good one star? Who is that person? Gretchen?
Is that real? I don't know who that is? Wretchen
will it's I don't know another one. E V Dog
twelve said used to be way more fun before the
guys dove deep into their conservative political agendas. Maybe move
it back to one show week with guests. The episodes
(03:15):
with picking games against the spread and with guests are
usually great. If not, either of these guys would make
great talking heads or guests for Sean Hannity on Fox
News Channel. They complain about athletes not sticking to sports.
Maybe take your own advice. That's amazing. I mean, well,
I if Sean Hannity wants to add me on, I mean,
(03:35):
who are the most powerful people in media? They're all
They're all conservative, are they? Well? Anything about Well, nobody
watches seeing it and people complain about seeing it, but
nobody when we watches MSNBC in comparison to like Fox News,
the ratings that they get Tucker Carlson, Hannity, that whole,
that whole lineup dominates as far as viewership is concerned. Um,
(04:00):
how do you feel about that your podcast just got
absolutely shipped on by a couple of people. Well, I
mean I did see Buddy Dog. I like that you
you focused on the negative Buddy Dogs as I absolutely
enjoy each episode, the different topics, the format makes this
show a joy to listen to each weekend. You could
have been positive and you could have been you know,
like me, Benny bright Side and looked for the positive.
(04:21):
But that is important. I seriously, we we would like
to get you know, we we early on pushed for
reviews of the podcast. We have more people listening now
to the fifth hour podcast then before. If you if
you have an Apple product, you're on Apple iTunes. I
know it's a pain in the ask to do a review,
but it does help us out. And uh, we'd like
to get I think we're like thirty away from three
(04:43):
hundred or something around that. If we could get to
that number relatively soon, and just you might think you're
you don't matter but you'd be one of those thirty
people if you have not written a review yet for
the fifth Hour podcast. That does matter. People do look
at that in management, and uh, you know that's that's
the case. I do like the people complaining. Now I'm guessing,
(05:07):
was it Eve Dog? Is that? Who was dog? A dog? Um? That?
If we talked about I assume he's a Team Blue.
That guy assumes that we were down the middle. No,
he's not done. If he's down the middle, he wouldn't care.
But if his Team Blue and we were on, you know,
doing the talking points with Team Blue, I don't think
(05:28):
he sends that message, right, I think he does. I
don't think he says, hey, why don't you go on,
you know with Rachel Yeah, Chris, Chris, Chris Cuomo, Yeah,
go with Chris Cuomo or something like. They wouldn't say that.
Shepherd Smith, Yeah, where's he at? He's at MSNBC. Yeah,
(05:53):
I remember he was at Fox for forever. It was
the daytime host. Yeah. Is anyone watching Shepherd's Smith on?
Let's seeing it. I don't know who cares. He's getting paid, right?
What are my favorite reviews? Uh? Well, I was ripping you,
but I know you don't bring that one up. I
appreciate it if you just be positive. I mean, well,
(06:14):
you started out with negative reviews and that was up
with it? Well, because those are current. We haven't had
any reviews in a long period of time, so I
just thought, hey, well the most current you know, negative,
but in the late the last day of February Buddy Dog, Yeah,
Bloody Dog five stars the two negative comments for Saturday
last weekend and also marks the third So what are
(06:36):
we talking about on Saturday? What did you bring up?
The triggered these pussy willows? So what was it? Well,
it was whatever was canceled last week? Wasn't there something
that wasn't there a cartoon that was canceled? Us? Dr Seux?
We're talking about Dr SEUs or something like that. So
I guess Eve Dog approves of the cancel culture, and so, uh,
(06:57):
burn these books and take it. Gretchen, I that's the
real name. Can you change your name on the Apple review?
Or is that maybe? But I think I think it's
more important that she should change her name in real life,
Like gret I know, that's a tough name she probably got,
you know, in the playground. They were probably you know
her name, Gretchen, I'm thinking the kids are not nice
to you on the playground. Just carry that into a
(07:17):
into life here, I'm imagined. I don't know or I
don't know if that's even a real person. Uh, but
I would think with that kind of name you would
end up getting some some abuse, which is a little
because typically the female listeners really love what I bring
to the party. So a little disappointing the review. Gretchen,
I didn't know there are females. I thought there's one gender,
(07:39):
and you're assuming that person is a female. That's a
wrong assumption to make. Bad job by you. Shame on you.
That's wrong with you, guys. But anyway, let's get to
the mail bag. I want to get through as many
of these as we can. The mail bag was in danger.
The mail bag was in danger. Now why was the
mail bag in endanger? I'm glad you asked. I'll tell you.
Uh Now, I pos every Wednesday on the show Facebook page,
(08:02):
a plea for the Mallam militia to submit questions, and
so you know, usually we get a similar amount of
questions every week. We've been very consistent on that over
the years. We've been doing the podcast. But for some
reason this week we had like three or I think
it was three or four questions and that was it.
(08:24):
I was like, holy crap, what happened. So I I
of course immediately said, wow, we're not gonna do the
mail bag. So I posted something on the Facebook page
pointing out that we better get more questions or there's
gonna be no mailbag this weekend, which I figured, you know,
we don't have to do this pod. This is like
an extra podcast that we do here out of the
goodness of our hard guest gun. Right. We could do
(08:46):
one podcast a week, we could do two podcast a week, right, um,
but we we choose to do the mailbag. And I
like answering questions. It's fun. I enjoy it. But if
there's no questions, what's the point of doing the mailbag.
But anyway, the mal Emlitia answered the call and they
rose up and we got tons of questions on Ben
(09:07):
Maller's show on Facebook and also a lot of email questions,
a lot of email questions Real Fifth Hour at gmail
dot com if you want to keep your question private,
So the same rules apply here, guestc on, We're gonna
go into this we're gonna answer as many of these
questions as we possibly can on the mail bag and
rapid fire, rat a tat tat. Are you prepared? Let
(09:29):
us go, all right, Mike, and Phoenix says, so what
would you do Ben if there aren't enough questions for
the mail bag? But I just said Mike, we wouldn't
have the mail bag, which Guesscot would love because I
gotta drag him in here by his hair to get
him to do the podcast, so he would love if
there were guests got every week. Hopes there's not enough
questions from the mail bag, so we don't have the mailbag.
(09:50):
By the way, I forgot to tell you this. My
hair looks awesome right now. It's long, it's brown, it's full,
and so does my hair. My hair looks gascon wonderful,
beautiful hair, flowing locks, so nice. I've got a little
salt and pepper and my beard. Boy, do I look good?
(10:13):
It's everyone looks great on radio or podcasting. My god,
are we gonna have the Mrs bick your head? Yeah?
Well she she is the official barber now at the
Mallar Manage. Yeah. Yeah, we we during the pandemic and
when the barbershops were closed by King Newsom, the Dictator.
(10:34):
We went on bought a hair cutting kit, and uh,
my wife enjoys cutting what's left of my hair. So
Glen in Chicago writes in the Windy City says, did
you guys use any pickup lines in your day or
even now? If so, what are they? That's his first
(10:55):
question is a follow up, but let's start with that.
Uh No, I didn't have any game. I had no
skills I had. I was fat, repulsive, no confidence with women.
It was a nightmare. It was a horrible situation and
it took me years and years to get over that.
But I didn't have any I always had buddies that
(11:17):
were very slick, and you know, I was like the
guy that would hang out with the cool people that
would go out and they were the center of attention
or whatever, and they would get you know, they had
all the pickup lines and all that. But I I
did not. I did not, You GUESSCON seemed like the
kind of guy that had the shenanigans with the pickup lines,
the ludicrous and we were still single, so you could
still use pickup line. I ran to a good hot
(11:38):
streak back in the day when I was in San Diego,
where I would approach women that didn't look like they
were having a good time, and I would ask point
blank what's his name? And more often than not, turn
out they were with a guy or a guy fucked
up and it ruined their night and then immediately just
(11:59):
went to a completely different directions. So that was always
an easy line to to throw out there on the
unsuspecting that was your go to, that was your Yeah,
just because you gotta. I mean, they like the fact
that you're observing them as opposed to just looking them
up and down. You're observing their their body language a
little bit, or seeing how they're Oh, come on, I
guess you know you have elevator eyes. Come on, guess absolutely.
(12:19):
You know we've had we've had those training sessions over
the years. Uh, you know, the harassment training and no elevatories.
I'm like, it doesn't every you know, you know what
I mean, everyone kind of do that, just that natural
human instinct to check out the other person. Um but anyway, Uh,
does spin Cycle Regina have a cameo account? Glenn? I
(12:41):
guess Glenn is a big fan and that spin Cycle
Regina in um no, I don't even know what spin
cycle regina. I don't know anything about her. I don't
know what she looks like anything like that. I just
know she calls the show. So but no, I don't
think she has cameo. J Bone in main Rights and says,
while you have had your own show, has there been
(13:03):
anyone you worked with that you genuinely didn't like? I
need names? He said, Uh, well, we will protect the
guilty by not giving out names. But there was there
was one former NFL player that I worked with that
I just did not get along with. But my general
rule is if you're lazy, I don't like it. And
(13:24):
I've had the misfortune of working with a fair amount
of people that just don't have any work ethic and ambition.
And I don't know that I would say hate, but
I I spend a lot of effort. I have aspirations
and goals, and it's it's always bothered me to be
around people that don't have a fire in their belly
and just don't don't seem to have any purpose. And
(13:44):
it's like that that cliche that the trope of the
factory worker or the government worker. I guess it's the
better way to look at it. This kind of punches
the time clock and doesn't put any extra effort to
go the extra mile if you will, and all that.
And you know, it's like that old line from Paul Harvey,
(14:04):
the radio legend, like you can always tell when you
were on the road to success because it's uphill all
the way, right. But a lot of people would rather
I get it the path at least resistance you want
to go down to. But those are the type of
people that bothered me. But it was one NFL player
that just thought because he had played in the NFL,
he didn't have to do any prep or prepare and
just could come in here and tell stories. That was
a pain in the ass. And then I've had some
(14:25):
other people that you know, just didn't quite bring the
amount of effort that I would have liked, and so
that bothered me. I'm pretty maniacal about that, as you know, guess. Yeah.
I've had people call me out um on the television
side for that, so that I'm I'm hard to work
with because because you have ambition and aspirations and you
(14:50):
you know, because I want to have things souped up
on the production side or the the camera footage or
just the coverage overall. And and some guys take that
criticism and and run with that, and others kind of
turn the way to the other way around and feel
like you stabbed them in the back or you're attacking
them because you just want to have a good show.
(15:10):
It's pretty odd. Yeah, well, there is a problem we
have in our business. Every business has problems. One of
the problems with the media business is a lot of
people get into media so they don't have to work, right,
I mean, because you figure what these are easy jobs.
I mean, you're going and you talk for four hours
and you just show up, you turn the mic on,
or in television, you just you know, I just do
as little as possible and you cut corners. And yeah,
(15:32):
it is. It is a problem. Yeah, first world problem.
But you know, cutting corners in general is a bad idea.
Just mailing it in I just don't I just can't
stand that anyway. All right, thank you for the question.
J Bone in Maine. Barry from Nashville, Ah, He says, Ben,
this is via emails, has been when the gremlins strike
the equipment at the Mallard mansion, who breaks out into
(15:53):
a worse flop sweat, you're Eddie question. I'm gonna go
Eddie now. I in my situation, I feel like I've
done everything I can to get ready the equipment. If
the equipment fails because the line we use to connect
is down, there's nothing I can do. Like, you know,
(16:14):
as long as I'm not the one f and up,
then I I don't really I worry about it. I
get up. I get frustrated because I spend so much
time getting ready for the show and you know, trying
to plan out in my head what I want to
do and and put some bullet points down things like
that to get ready for the show. And so it
does frustrate me. I feel like I've wasted my time
when we get knocked off the air for whatever reason.
(16:36):
But I gotta think Eddie's feeling the feeling the heat
more because Eddie doesn't prepare to do a talk show.
He doesn't. He comes in and he just prepares to
do news updates and then he'll react to what we
talk about what I'll talk about. But yeah, it's a
much different dynamic when you're doing the act in the
in the as Mark Patrick said, back into the Big Chair, Uh,
(16:56):
it's it's a different experience, and so if you're not
prepared for that and you get tossed into it, it
it's pretty difficult. You can fake it, but it's hard
to really fake it till you make it. So the
real j D and cans uh City says my question.
Has Coope de Loupe ever persuaded any of you to
(17:17):
partake in the Devil's lettuce? Uh No, no, I have not.
I have not partake in the Devil's less. I beg
of my younger days. There's at some parties and so
I guess second hand, I guess I have, but I've
never and we're actually gone down that road. Margie, Right,
(17:39):
since it's outside of sports, what are your other interests
and hobbies? Uh? Well, I love documentary, like going out
in the nature, believe or not, you know, and the
weekends going out to the beach during the summertime is
always a lot of fun, checking out the the saying,
clearing my mind from the nonsense of sports radio, the
(18:00):
grind of sports talk radio, having to worry about Lebron
James and all these other nim rods. So I like
to get away, and you know, I'm just kind of
unplug for a little bit, enjoy traveling. Don't get to
do much of that these days, checking out new places,
and some things like that. I mean, these are pretty
standard standard hobbies I'm I'm also one of my other things,
(18:24):
I love the origins of words. I like to It's
one of my michigas things where I like to study,
like the history of phrases and words and things like that,
why we say the things that we say, where they
came from. And Uh, It's it's cool because I can
use that on on the show. Like I feel like
(18:45):
I can use that on the show, so like I
can work it in somehow, like for example, the there
was a marketing slogan in the nineteen nineties, uh, to
sell motorcycles and it was go Bigger, Go Home, and Uh,
that came from Harley Davidson. And I've actually I've used
(19:06):
that from I just I don't know why I popped
into my head, but I've used that randomly, uh as
a point of reference. So like dumb stuff like that.
Jess Scarren, on the other hand, um boy, his hobbies. Uh,
he likes to hang out with the Hollywood elite power brokers,
schmoozing and are the ones that write the checks, they
(19:28):
pay the bills? Yeah, the road Uh John the Jailer
and Alan town p A right, Since says Ben and Gascon,
if you gave up all the money and fame of
working in sports radio and became a doctor, what field
of medicine would you practice? Now? Does a plastic surgeon count?
(19:51):
That would, of course be for the one per centers?
Why so not only John the jailer. Would I have
to overcome the love of radio that's in my DNA
and my blood at this point, but I would then
have to overcome some of my fears of blood and
things like that. Um, but listen, I mean doctors, all
(20:12):
doctors are important, um in one way or another. I
mean even people like dentists that having good dental hygiene
obviously makes things easier for you. Um like trying to
think is there a safe way because you're you're thinking
about this general practitioner. Yeah, but if you go into
(20:33):
neurology or your nose and throat or an ophthalmologist or
an ophthalmologist, well, how and how about you know oncology? Uh? Right,
the study of cancer. I mean that's such a horrible disease, cancer,
and I lost my mom to cancer, my aunt, my
uncle the cancer. How about this, What if you're an anesthesiologist.
(20:58):
Oh yeah, you put them put them down for the count. Yeah,
but I mean mad. If you funk up in that job,
they die. That's that's fatal. Yeah, lights out. Yeah, there's
the x ray person, the x ray texts. Actually, doctor
always felt. I know we have doctors that listen to
the show. But my experiences, which is limited, think, you know,
(21:21):
for now, until I get older, if I make it,
look if you make it when I spend more time
with the doctors. But um, I feel like the nurses
do so much that I feel like the nurses to
actually do most of the work, you know what. It's
uh and they don't get paid as much, but they do.
I guess that's why you become a doctor because you
can kind of come in there and you know, you
spend five minutes the nurse spends thirty minutes. You're good. Actually,
(21:42):
you know what, I can't believe I I didn't say this.
I'd want to be an orthopedic surgeon. Why well, because
if if we're in this line of work and we
have to be removed for a minute, we could be
orthopedic surgeons, and then you can treat athletes that get
injured and need to have Liam yours UTR Jackson. You'd
(22:02):
have to give up the sports radio life. That's okay,
It's like I have a sports radio life anyway. Yeah, Now,
John the Jailer, we actually have a surprise for you
because someone, a little birdie in your world has informed
me that Gasco we have a hero. We have a
someone that has saved someone's life listening to our podcast. Yeah,
(22:28):
that would be none other than the great John the Jailer.
And apparently recently at work he saved an inmate who
was trying to hang himself. He called the code apparently
as I'm being told here on his radio, and he
lifted this uh this poor guy uh and undid the
(22:48):
NEOs and the inmate will actually live and uh that
is tremendous and and so uh John, good job by
you and brings up memories of Jeffrey Epstein right back
Nobody picked him up there back in in New York.
But John's a jailer I think in Pennsylvania if I
(23:10):
remember correctly. And by the way, it was his birthday
and so happy birthday. And uh and and John, let
me tell you something. I'm not gonna say my source.
I will not reveal my source. Guess ghn, I will not.
You know, the Naked streets talk, they talk, but I
cannot reveal my source. I will only say I will
only say here as a you know, tales from the
(23:32):
Naked City where the names were admitted to protect the guilty. Uh.
It may or may not be your wife, Kimberly. I'm
not gonna say. I'm not gonna say it was your
wife Kimberly that reached out. But happy birthday, John the Jailer.
You've been a loyal minion in the Mallard militia for
so many years. And we do thank you. I thank you.
I don't know if giscon thanks you, but I thank
you for supporting Yeah, of course that's uh in tremendous John,
(23:56):
by and say yeah, and yeah, congratul congratulations. Not everyone
say that they saved someone's life in in their in
their existence, and you, uh, maybe you do that all
the time. I don't know, but that's uh, that's pretty cool,
So good job by you all right, Next one from
Brandon in Wisconsin. This is a long one from emailing,
(24:16):
says Ben and David. During Lent, I decided that I
was going to fast and only eat one meal a day,
per your expertise. So, boy, I am not a big
tub of good by any means. I'm about six five
to thirty five, but but I do consider myself a
good Catholic. Boy. I wanted to run a forty eight
(24:37):
hour fast and see if I could do it. I
got to fifty hours before we went out for fish
last Friday. That meal was delicious. He says. I. I
know that you talked at length about your gallbladder removal
and how it has done a number on your stomach,
but are you sure it's not just the fasting. The
reason I asked is I had a rather bad moment.
(25:01):
He says, Okay, so yeah, you had the Tennessee trots
as we call it. Yeah, little Dysenterry. Um, Yeah, I
mean some people have said that. I do know from
when I talked to the doctor after I had my
gall bladder out. They said that because you don't have
your gall bladder, when you eat a lot of like
(25:22):
heavy foods, fried foods, you're gonna be on the poop train.
You know, you're gonna have the diaper, gravy going and
all that. So um, I know that, but it is
I will agree with you that when you do a
forty eight hour fast, I usually try to do a
sixty five plus hour fast. I don't make it. I
would like to do seventy two, but I normally end
(25:43):
up eating before the seventy two hour mark during the week.
But yeah, we need an hour pretty much no matter
what I eat. After I fast for a couple of days,
it's uh, it's a run to the throne, right, you
are looking for a porta potty to give a big
steaming dump. I mean, so it does clear you out.
I think there's obviously a medical reason behind that. I'm
(26:05):
not a doctor, I can play one on the podcast
that because you're the stomach lining. When you don't have
food in your stomach for a few days, things change
in there, and then when you put food back in,
everything kind of goes wild. Right, I think that that's
my layman, you know, dumb guy theory on what's going on.
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
(26:26):
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox sports
radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app.
Search f s R to listen live. It's always nice
or it's always important. I don't know if you do
this at all, but drinking or having a probiotic or prebiotic,
it's great to get those strains into your your digestive track. Um, yeah,
(26:48):
I don't do that, clean the guts, doing a lot
of water. But yeah, when you go over I think
it's twenty eight hours. I think it is. And when
you go over that time yourself start to rejuvenate. And yeah,
well that's why I do it because I did a
lot of damage guest on when I was a big lardass.
So I'm trying. I feel like I'm getting I'm not
getting much back, but I'm getting a little back. I
feel like I'm getting a little back every every week.
(27:09):
It's good. Yeah, regenerating cells, because God knows I need
some cells regenerated, that is for sure. Brandon continues his message.
He says, I mentioned before that my wife and I
are expecting twins. So we are trialing new vehicles and
we have one that we are driving. We drove over
the weekend on our way home from the fish Fry.
(27:31):
I thought I was going to pass wind and ended
up shooting my pants terribly, he says, in a brand
new vehicle that's not ours. Oh man, that's a great story,
he says. I panicked. I got home and immediately jumped
in the shower, but always thinking in the back of
my mind, I ruined a seat in the vehicle by
some stroke of luck, not a spot in the new ride.
(27:55):
What the hell is happening to me? He says, there
you go. Well we answered, But Brandon, that's a good story.
And see then you would learn the art Brandon in
Wisconsin of finding a high end auto detailer that would
have to clean and acid wash the inside of the car.
But that's that's funny. Man. I wonder if he's having
(28:15):
boys or girls. Well, he might be having one of each, right,
might be having one of each. Maybe they don't know.
Some people wait, some people all right, uh, this is
from Tammy says, hello from Davenport, Iowa. I love your
fifth hour show. It's awesome, he says. I heard one
of your recent shows of how you started in radio,
(28:36):
and it kind of resonated with me something I'd like
to do someday. I hear from many people that I
have a great radio voice. Tim says, I've even done
some sample work, but really nothing. It's nothing's been on
the radio. I have kind of a modest set up
in my home and lets me do some decent voice
work with audacity. I like to impress as company, friends, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Um.
(29:03):
So I don't know if there's really a question in there.
I guess he's he wants to get into broadcasting. Uh,
pretty obvious. There He's says, take care, God bless and
make America great again. There you go. Um yeah, well, timmy, hey,
listen to the first step is to actually, you know,
put your foot in the door. I don't know how
(29:24):
old the guy you are and all that. And you
know there's plenty of radio stations around Iowa, and you
gotta just get your foot in the door. Um. But
you can. You can do voiceover work from home. The
problem is a lot of that. You need an agent
for um, and you you've got to send in your
your your sizzle tapes to get people to hear them. Um. So,
(29:47):
like any business, it's really not how good you are.
It's who you know that's gonna matter more than anything.
So you have to network. You gotta do the groundwork
and make connections and start on the local level and
and work your way up and you know, one person
knows another person and then before you know what you're
you're you're doing something big. So you do voice over
(30:10):
stuff gascon, don't you. Yeah. I think the one thing
that comes into play with with that is they they
say that it doesn't matter how good or how bad
your voice is, it matters how good you are with copy.
So if you're acting, if you're enunciating, if you're clear
with your speech and your articulate, then that gives you
(30:30):
a better chance than just having great pipes or even
just awful pipes, because there's always a niche for somebody
in there. But yeah, you send that stuff out. Typically
a real is about sixty seconds long, and that's the max.
And once you create a real, I have it properly produced,
sent it off to agents and see if they're interested
in uh working with you, and then they start sending
(30:52):
auditions and you start booking a few things and then bam,
it can become profitable. Yeah, or you can just be
a panhandler in Ohio and somebody will hear your golden
voice and then then whatever happened to that guy? Didn't
he relapse? Oh? Is that Ted Williams? Right? Was that
his name? The same name as the baseball guy. That's
(31:12):
a great story, though, it was a great story until
it one sideways. Yeah, he had the voice of god man,
he had a golden voice. And didn't he get like
a book deal or something out of that? And then
then there was a whole He was a radio guy,
wasn't his story? He was a radio guy and then
he got into the drugs and the booze and then
(31:33):
he found it. He was homeless and he was like
doing small crime stuff. He was a criminal, and uh,
you know, somebody posted it. I think it was somebody
posted a YouTube video and then he became this viral sensation.
I wonder if he's still doing that though, I don't know.
That was like ten years ago, probably a long time ago.
(31:55):
Yeh oh wait a minute, hold on a second. As
of October twenty nineteen, I'm reading here on the internet,
Ted Williams is working on a new reality show called
Second Chance. So that was as of two two years ago.
Interested and and uh five five years ago he was
working back in radio. Um oh, but that lasted like
(32:20):
six months. Yeah uh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
All right. Well if I if I ever put a
book out, I'll do the tape. I'll do the book
on tape. You know. I could do that. The big
seller audio books, the voiceover, there's some good money in
that they do through Amazon and do that. So somebody
in one of my radio friends told me Adam Carolla,
(32:41):
who's written a lot of books. I like at Adams good.
Adam Caroll is really good. But he's a podcast guy
only now. But Adam Carolla, I heard from somebody in radio.
When he does the the audio book for the books
that he writes, he just talks. He doesn't read the book.
He just like he just like recreates what he thinks
was in that chapter of the book. He doesn't actually
read it verbatim or any of it. From that from
(33:04):
what I've been told, Yeah, I don't know if that's
true enough, But I've never heard one of his audio books.
Maybe somebody can verify that or not. Alright, Uh, which
French fry do you like? The best crinkle shoe, string
steak or other for you? And Mr West of the
four or five. That's from Valls fan Jimmy in Fayetteville, Tennessee.
(33:25):
None is that So he's not including sweet potato fries, then,
well it's more of the shape. I mean, you could
you know boogie as somewhat healthy. You think those sweet
potato fries are the way to go, But I don't know.
Fat fries from from fat Burger pretty awesome. Yeah, those
are like, uh, well, steak fries the big that Now
(33:46):
do you have a big border fries? I think that's
really what he's asking. McDonald's fries I think is number
one for me. They put sugar on those, you know
those I recreated those. I gotta I gotta rip off
recipe on YouTube and you soak them in sugar. That's
why they taste them. Strike that McDonald's is tied with
Weener Schnitzl for friese fries are fucking amazing. Yeah, I'm
(34:08):
now I like my favorite fry right now is that
you cheese not not cheese creds. What's poutine? The Canadian
where you have both the best of both worlds. You
put a tremendous you know whatever ribbi steak on top
and with the cheese and man, Poutine is the way
to go. But I I like you know, I'm I'm
(34:28):
not picky. I like um, you know, steak fries, crinkle
cut fries are good. Potato wedges KFC. I don't know
if they still do these potato wedges. YEA not a
fan of the potato wedge. You AIN'TI potato witch? Yeah,
a little boring, a little bland. Depends on the spice.
It really, it's all about the spice there. Yeah. I
(34:49):
like fat fries, fat fries and sweet potato fries. You
like your fries fat? Huh. There's a joke there somewhere.
What about tater tots? Tatter touts? That really fries? Now,
they're good, They're just little balls of potato. I'm down
for him. Curly fries when properly seasoned. I remember when
I'm back in my fast food days, Arby's pretty good
curly fronts. Say Jack in the box, right, Yeah, Jack
(35:11):
in the box too. Um. Carl's Jr. Which is Hearty's
if you're east of a certain point in America, But
Carl's Jr. Out here in the West. They used to
have really good crinkle cut fries and then they changed
their front. Yeah they fuck that up. Yeah, they have
that clearly mistake by someone in management. They're a bad
(35:33):
job by them. Um. Then you have the the homemade fries,
which are just kind of chopped up potatoes, and I'm
not a big big fan of that. More I think
that more like a breakfast fry. Yeah alright, I mean
more minutes can we do on French fries? We were
(35:54):
think we're at our end here or end point. I
when I went to Paris a few years ago, Oh
here we go. Always working in a subtle pat myself
on the back when I was in Paris. It's it's
a random observation, but every pizza that has ordered there's
always an egg in the middle of it. And every meal,
(36:18):
it doesn't matter if it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner, everybody
was typically eating French fries with It didn't matter what
your entree was. People were ordering French fries. You don't
see that here in the United States. Now, how do
you feel about the shoes the shoe string fry? Are
you pro or against shoe string fries? I'm not a
big fan. I don't mind. I like the shoe string,
(36:40):
like the onions, pound of onions. I'm conflicted because the
outback has the the onion, bloom blooming onion. Yeah, what's
that Lucille's barbecue seals. They've got the onion, like a
ball of onion thing too that they've got pretty good.
I I drenched those things in barbecue. So good, so
(37:04):
bad and so good at the same time. And then
those match there's these match dick fries, which are even
smaller than shoe string five. What the hell are those?
You should know that being west of the four oh five,
they're really skinny. They're like shoe string fries, but they're
shorter and a little crisp here. But it's normally something
that served at like a high end restaurant, the kind
of places you like to eat, you know, steak place
(37:25):
with a little side, a little, a little small portion
of the match dick fries. There's a great spot in
Torrance called the Loft. It's this Hawaiian restaurant and i'd
go there back in the day when I played ball
at El Camino, and all the simoons would go there
before practice and we order a large plate of chicken
taraki and it would come with macaroni salad and these
(37:48):
large fat French fries, and I would just dip the
French fries into the barbecue sauce with the araki sauce.
It was. It was fucking phenomenal. Have fond memories there.
It's like telling a story when I put you your
glory days. Yeah, because it's just amazing to me that
I would go with a bunch of these Samoans. We'd
eat this before practice and it'd be like I was
(38:08):
towing a truck during practice and all these Simonans who
had calves that are bigger than my head. Yeah, no problem. Yeah.
We Yeah, my high school football team and a couple
of Samonan guys and they were they were just built massively.
I mean they have at least the guys on my
football team. I'm sure that not all the people from
somehore are the same way, but uh, but those guys
were huge, big lurking guys and built like a tank.
(38:33):
Built like a tank, these guys. How about waffle cut fries, Yeah,
those are solid. Now. The only problem I had with
waffle cut fries is the the volume of fries. I'm
a big volume guy with fries, right, you know, And
and I feel like when they give you restaurants give
you waffle cut it's only like six or seven. You know,
it's a small amount, it's a finite amount. Um. But
(38:55):
we mentioned potato wedges. You're not a fan. I'm okay
with the potato wedge. I'm trying to think, well, you
know in in you've been to London, right in in
in the UK, don't they they fish and chips are
actually they're just you know, they're the actual chips right
their potatoes and yeah, yeah, they're all right. The food
(39:16):
in London is not good, the food and the dental
work or not. I'd probably like it, though. I like
fish and chips. That's the only fish I'll eat. I'd
probably like the food in London just eating that maybe,
I mean drink beer and they got tons of beer
out there. Now about what about the they call them
home fries? Not the ones I was talking about earlier.
These are these are the kind that they leave the
(39:37):
back of the potato on. You know what I'm saying.
I don't think what's that. I don't think I've ever
had any of those? No, No, yeah, I think I've
reached my limit on really maxed out on French fries.
And yes, we've done a solid I like garlic fries.
My faily fries are good. My favorite fries, bag fries.
(39:59):
Bag fries. Agg fries are always good because you feel
like you exhausted the entire container of French fries and
you just put your hand in that bag and there's
a couple of lurking. Bag fries are special. Uh what
about animal style? You go animal style? I never done
animal style, Never done animal style. Oh it's pretty good.
(40:19):
They put like thousand Island dressing. Uh. I don't think
it's actually that happened something else, but yeah, it's onions.
It's solid, man. They get their in and out sauce
on there. They put little cheese on top. My yummy, yummy, yummy,
yummy yummy and my real fat days in San Diego,
my buddies took me to the spot in uh Mission
(40:40):
Valley in San Diego called Santana's and they would have
these tremendous uh California burritos. So it's either chicken or
Carnea soda with French fries and salsa and cheese. And
there'd be days I'd have two or three of them
in a single day. But when I didn't want to
have those, I'd have Carnia soda fries. Yeah, Well, you
(41:04):
love carniata absolutely, and I'm I'm all about the poutine
cheesey fries, you know, so it's good as well. Cheese fries,
chili cheese fries. Yeah. I used to, Well that's Tommy's.
I used to go to Tommy's and get the chili
cheese fries. That was always my thing at Tommy's three
in the morning. Sitting in the parking lot of Tommy's
in Hollywood. You've got a triple you know, cheeseburger in
(41:25):
one hand, You've got a whole bag of chili cheese
fries on the other, and you're living large and you
feel that for like two days when you eat that
meal at three in the morning. Chris and Maracca to
Iowa writes and he says, you mentioned cameo a lot.
Thank you for that. Chris. By the way, I do
mentioned cameo a lot if you want to personalized video message.
But why do you even need them? He says. Can't
you offer the same thing through your social media and
(41:47):
cut them out and save the cash? He says, what's
my cut for this great advice? Well, I could do that, Chris,
but it's just easier to do it on a cameo
and it's not it's not something that I mean that interested.
If somebody wants to do it and I feel I
feel like it's more panhandling if I did it that way,
(42:08):
do you know what I mean? Like the way I
have it, I means it's a service. Cameo offers a service.
There's a lot of people on there, and if there's
something you choose, if you're interested in that, if you're
a fan, a super fan, and and that's something that
would be important to you to have a cameo, then
you know where to find it. But I'm not gonna
like solicit people to you know, reach out and send
(42:28):
me a check in the mail or something like that.
You know, it doesn't I know, it's the same thing,
I guess, but uh yeah, they just PayPal you real
quick for a quick for a monogue. Uh. He also
says why do NFL teams leak cuts? Isn't it more
honorable to talk to the players and then make the announcements. Well, often, Chris,
(42:50):
it's the agents that leaked that stuff because they're trying
to get interest for their player or to get the
team in trouble. So the team might keep sending player uh,
Pierre in Springfield. Right, since this Ben, I'd like to
I'd like you to pull out your Benny the Bookmaker
visor and give out the odds that your podcast executive
(43:11):
producer would dip his toes into the verbal octagon against you.
And where would the Sharps lay their cash number two,
as I previously suggested to you, Possibly a w w
F style handicap match where he could team up with
Brian Finlay to take you on. If he doesn't feel
up to the task by himself. Well, listen, Pierre, no chance,
(43:36):
all right? You know how awkward and uncomfortable it would
be for gascon and filling you put both those guys together.
You don't have ten brain points, all right, nothing, Uh,
and I would dominate them. You wouldn't do it, guest,
because you'd be embarrassed and you'd never be able to
come on any of these podcasts. Again, I I don't
I don't typically attack my own blood, so I don't
(43:59):
shoot shots that people at Fox Sports Radio. Brian Phinley tried.
He came on the area, attempted getting the octagon. We
schooled him, We put him in his place, We put
him in a body bag. Yeah, I would never do that.
Part of it's because I'm really really I go for
the fucking heart and so I don't like doing that side. Layoff,
lay off the sauce. You get what I'm saying. A
(44:19):
couple more, John in Burbank in Sokow says, what are
your thoughts on the UH contraction? He says, forty teams
from minor league baseball hate it? Hate it? John, hate it.
We had Derek call on. I know he kind of
repeated the mantra from baseball, but I I don't like
it's it's obviously cost cutting. It's they're claiming it's because
(44:40):
the fields were not that good, but they didn't really
care about that. It's it's more of a financial thing. Yeah.
I mean he's in Burbank, so he knows. Lancaster Jetawks
just got closed up too. Oh is that right? Yeah,
they're a part of the California League, so lank Cow.
I didn't really know more. Lancaster JetHawks. One other Collies
did they get? CALLI so Bakersfield, Lancaster and High Desert
(45:03):
those are the three that are now gone. San Bernardino
still around and the um like that sucks, you know.
I was actually I guess I can say it now,
but we we were in talks of the great Brian Golden,
who's a sports writing legend in the High Desert and
a friend of mine. He's It was very tight with
the people that ran the JetHawks. They were gonna have
(45:23):
I threw out the first pitch at one of their
games years ago, and they were gonna have me back
in fact last season for the season, which never happened.
We were gonna have a Ben Maller Knight in Lancaster
and have the Mallard Militia get together, and we had
this whole big plan. We're gonna go all the truck
drivers to come hang out and all that stuff, and
then the season got washed away. I guess that will
never happen now. That sucks. That's terrible. We're gonna have
(45:46):
to hook up with one of the other colleague teams.
That's no. I hate it though. It's terrible. Yea. You know,
they had a really nice ballpark in the launching pad
they called it there in Lanka that you put a
fucking ball in the air there. It was a wind shot.
Every single time you've launched a ball and the wind
would take it out. It didn't matter that place. Yeah,
(46:07):
it was. They were the Colorado Rockets affiliate and it
was perfect. It was like you were in the in
the Mile High City. Well, we were out there. They
were the briefly the Red Sox. They were the astros
of affiliate cheating astros for a while. Kevin in Kansas, Right,
since it's been with all of your experiences in radio
and journalism, I know my journalists, have you considered publishing
(46:28):
a book. You have so many stories it would be
great reading. A lot of work, but a worthy project. Yes, Kevin,
I have for years said I would love to write
a book. I have been in talks with one person
in particular, and um, but there's a lot of bureaucracy.
There's a lot of red tape to get the green
light on a book self published. I could do that.
(46:49):
I could do that, but I want to do it right.
Like I want to do a book, I might only
be able to write one. So I want to do
a good book, a book that the big fans of
the show would like, but it also has to be
relatable to people who don't like the show. I mean,
you're trying to grow the audience. Um, so there's a
lot that goes into it. But I would love to, Kevin,
And all we need is a publisher to say, go
(47:12):
do it, knock yourself out, and if that doesn't happen,
maybe we will self publish the book and see if
we can get people to to buy. As Jason Smith
said a couple a couple of podcasts ago, that you
need the numbers like five thousand, right, you gotta sell
five thousand books. If you can sell five thousand books,
which seems like it's not that much because we have
(47:33):
a lot more, many more people listening to the show
that than five thousand. The audience is much bigger than that, obviously,
hundreds of thousands of people that that listened on a
nightly basis live and then more many more that listen
on the podcast. But the problem is getting them actually
buy the book. You know a lot of people like,
(47:53):
oh yeah, I like to I'm not buying the book,
you know, so anyway, but I would love to do that, Kevin,
and hopefully that will that will be accomplished here. Jack
in Greensboro, North Carolina, right scenes has been with all
of the ongoing space exploration as well as a UFO
sighting by Baker Mayfield. I find myself pondering the possibility
(48:14):
of other life out there? What say you, Uh, yeah, Jack,
I I am a hundred percent I'm not. I'm a
hundred percent convinced that there is other life. I think
there's probably many planets that are just like Earth is
similar enough. And you think about looking up into the
heavens and seeing all the stars which are just the suns,
(48:36):
and all the planets rotating around those stars, and you know,
your head one explodes. But it's just the math on
that even if only one percent or less than one
percent had a system like Earth, a solar system similar
to Earth, then there would be endless amounts of planets
(49:00):
of people that are probably just as barbaric and cold
blooded people around here. But Yeah, I absolutely think there's
there's plenty of life out there. I wouldn't be shocked
if advanced civilizations made some kind of contact with this planet.
And I'm I'm going full uh full Illuminati, Uh cover up?
(49:24):
Whatever what about you guess? Hunt? Yeah, I believe it's
just amazing to me that we have the capabilities and
have had for such a long time to have telescopes
that see so far into outer space. It's a gorgeous thing.
And then for us to make that push to go
not only from Earth to the Moon but now to Mars,
(49:45):
well it's really one of those things where you have
to go off the grid. You know, you don't we
we have light poisoning here in l A. But when
you get out into the nature and you're away, and
then you just oh my god. Yeah, it's just endless.
It just goes on for for and it's just crazy
to think about all of that and to think that,
(50:05):
you know, we're you gotta be pretty naive to think
you're and narth assists not stassistic. They think that you're
the only the only life that's out that all that
talk about being one of the millions all bullshit. Yeah, yeah,
I told you, Yeah, I could see a scenario Like
I was a kid, I used to watch The Twilight Zone,
Like there's there's other parallel dimensions, there's planets just like
(50:29):
this with different outcomes, you know, things like that. It
wouldn't be wouldn't be shocked. Maybe we'll find out something
when we check out. Maybe you know, we'll get all
the answers who know. Anyway, the great, the great mystery
of life. All that said, we have plenty more questions.
Actually we did not get to I thank you guys
for answering the call on the mail bag. All of
you remember, we've gotten some trolls that have attacked the
(50:52):
podcast review on iTunes, so we need some positive reviews
to make up for the douche bags that attempted to
attack the Fifth Our. If you remember the Malle Militia,
this is a call to arms called arms. Answer the call,
respond with positivity, and that's if you've taken the oath,
(51:13):
you know what to do. Have a great Sunday. We're
back on the radio. I am anyway tonight eleven o'clock
in the West. That would be two am in the
East on Monday morning. Selections Sunday and UM, we'll actually
pretend like we're talking college basketball and whatever the big
news is over the weekend. We'll break it all down
in the NFL and whatnot. Have a great day. We'll
(51:34):
catch you then. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports
talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows
at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I
Heart Radio app. Search f s R to listen live.
Host
Ben Maller
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.