March 27, 2021 • 53 mins
A trip to Costco or to the doctor, which one is the better choice?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you thought more hours a day, hundred minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
as we bloviate, even on the weekends. Here the Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller, and we are back at it
again on a Saturday. I hope you heard the Friday podcast.
Tim Donnie, Yeah, Tim Donnie, it was good to talk
(00:43):
to him, the former NBA referee who was betting on
NBA games that he was working and uh man, it
was an interesting conversation. Were joined by yet again David
Gascon this weekend, resting before all hand by critics for
(01:06):
whose appearance on the show this week. There's a there's
a lot of vitry on social media. It's fascinating how
many assholes are on Twitter and then when they call
into your show, they're just gas on, what's up, man,
how are you doing? That's not that's not what I'm
here man. You were condemned, you were criticized, chestis lamb basted,
(01:28):
hell fire and damnation to guests, Scott. They burned you
in effigy. Guest they tried. I mean half those people
are like half my size. The other half would never
say that ship to my face. You were a human piniata.
That's what you were. Clear active disrespect the caller of
the year, the back to back call of the year,
and you threw a brick. Blind Scott is probably your
(01:51):
best collar. And he'd even call in you had Marcel on.
That's because you were here. He didn't. He didn't want
to talk to you. He'd rather be waterboarded. Blind stop.
By the way, Blind Scott is trying to get me
to go to Boston just to go to a Red
Sox game on April twenty. He's like, hey, April, they
play on the April. No, I think it's the date
(02:12):
that's important to him. He loves the wheat, so that's why.
And he's like flying to Boston, you know, like it's
you know, easy just to fly into Boston from from
l A, no big deal and go to a Red
Sox game and all that, and let's do this and
he's he's emailed. He's like, yeah, yeah, we got other listeners.
I was like, oh, you know, I heard the flights
are really cheap. Though I heard the flights are really cheap,
so but I don't think I'm gonna make it, but
(02:34):
I'll look. I mean, I love Boston, so yeah, prob
is still usually in April, it's still kind of nasty.
The weather doesn't really get that great until May. Now,
if you do go to logan before you depart, are
you going to put on social media? Twitter and Instagram?
A You're gonna put a vaccine card? Like, hey, congratulations,
I got a vaccine card. You're gonna flaunt a vaccine
(02:56):
card like some people are doing. And I I haven't
gotten the vaccine on eligible for for ye and I
guess I'm too young. But that that donut thing point,
that's free donuts? What's that about? What I mean free donuts?
You mentioned this the other day? You get free donuts
every day? Or when I mentioned that too in the area,
like talking to me like I had a third TI
or something. I was shocked you to hear about it,
(03:18):
because yeah, I saw the headline, but I didn't really
like I didn't really read the story as I really care.
I mean, I like, there's a local donut shop that
I like, donut Man much better, right, like the locals
as supposed to exactly exactly. Yeah, So they're incentivizing people
that if you get the vaccine you show your card
or certification of it, that they give you one free
(03:38):
donut every day for the year as perfect. So you
can you can. You don't even have to get the vaccine.
You can just get a fake card that says you
have it. They're just a little cardboard cards. It's like
a credit card or something. So behind the curtains, there's
a favorite spot you like to go to in downtown
Los Angeles for pstrami and it's Avarado Street. Um. Back
(04:00):
in the day, we us, you know, kids that wanted
to get fake I d s. We would go onto
that street for a fake I d uh. So what
do we do nowadays? We go down to Alvarado for
for fake COVID certificates. Is that what we're doing? Well? No,
so you're you're referring to Langer's Delia. MacArthur Park is
right across the street, which is a beautiful park until
(04:22):
you actually look at the miscreants that are that are
in the park and then you're like, holy crap, what
I can't believe that that is going on. They're just brutal.
But uh yeah, you would have to go down there.
I guess I was, you know, growing up in the
o C. Back in the day, I went to a
meat market called uh there was a place in Santa
(04:42):
Anna called Melody Meats and in the back there was
you know, it was a typical butcher shop. They had,
you know, the different cuts of meat and all that.
But you've going to back and it was like this
back room as I remember it, and uh like a
little desk and there was a it was like a computer.
But this is before everyone had computers. And uh yeah,
(05:05):
you can get a an I D just whatever name
you wanted. They'd put that on there. Whatever your birthday
you needed was right there available, good to go. So man,
that was where I went. Those are always I'm more
a fan of those. But when you go to Boston,
Duncan Donuts is to go to um but of course
they're just dunking now. They got rid of the donuts.
(05:28):
But you have some some spots in Boston you'd like
to go to anyway, just the mom and pop shops. Yeah, yeah,
there's a few you know, pizza places and whatnot that
sant Tarpio's and East Boston that I got my guy
Vinnie Vinny recommended when he met him. Vinie and the
family over there at sant Tarpio's And there's a Boba's
Bakery is great on the North End. When when you
(05:51):
connected me with Blind Scott and he took me through
a seven or eight mile tour of Boston. He took
me to North End and I just remember that one
runaway on North End was pastries after pastries after it
just I just felt like I was thinking about the
North End. The North End of the Boston is. It's wonderful.
(06:12):
It's great. It's you know, the old part of Boston.
And you feel like, at least I did. I was
on like Main Street at Disneyland. It doesn't feel like
that's a real city because the streets so small and
the buildings are all close to each other and all that.
But then you have the older people just standing outside
with a cup of coffee, maybe a cigarette, just loungeing,
like not even warning about the days um schedule. It's eclectic,
(06:38):
eclectic group. You also have like the uh the meat
Head construction guys, and they're kind of mulling about, you know,
and I don't really know what they've got going on,
but they're kind of mulling about and all that. So
so you have that uh as as well. But I
don't believe I'll get to Boston this this time. We
have some other trips. When I start traveling again, I
gotta find a way to get to Minnesota. Gotta find
(07:00):
a way to get to Cincinnati. There's also a rumor
that I'll be making a Florida sojourn later this year.
That there's a trip, a family trip. So I like
to make family trips, work trips and have like you know,
if I go to a place and I have an
extra day hang out and meet I know you don't
(07:20):
like the unwashed gascon, but I enjoy hanging out with
the evil doers and the malle militia. I have. What's
that I said, I have family that lives in Florida.
On my apologies to you, I don't know why do
you move to Florida. You should go to Florida's cheaper
to live there, Taxes are better, the weather is not great,
but it's all right. I'm looking at the job market
out there. Yeah, why didn't you go to China like
(07:43):
I read to China that job by you know, I
would have been I would have been patient zero. Right, Well,
apparently it's not that big deal with economy, and China
keeps going up up in a way despite the United States. Yes,
shut it down, shut it down, shut it down, shut
it down anyway. All right, So on this edition of
(08:04):
the Fifth Hour we have Desperados, bug eyed and pop quiz.
It's not exciting content. Are you not fired up for
this content? I'm a little bit more fired up for
this content than the last couple of nights on the show.
I don't know what you're talking about. The show was
a wonderful show, was great my part. Anyway, you obviously
(08:26):
had some issues there, a little shot that you went
to the NHL basket of fun, and I am willing
to go to a scandal at any moment. I was
getting crap though, because they just the listeners now expect me,
the p ones, expect me to only talk about quarterbacks
and or coaches in the NFL and uh and nothing else.
And so when I when I go off the reservation.
(08:48):
It upsets me, like you believe that Megan Rapino story,
it was a great story. He got he got on
the podium and lied, and and we had proved a
federal judge had already ruled the women. Actually he got
paid more than the men soccer players. And there she
all there she is saying her lady parts cost her
money and all that, and people just repeat the lie
(09:09):
over and over as we had. We had a caller
on her bullshit. And and in the story with Tim Peel,
the hockey referee, was great because it's it's it's it's
always the cover ups, like well the NHL, the headlines
were the NHL fired the guy. They didn't fire the guy.
They didn't say they fired the guy. He just he
was gonna retire anyway. They gave him the retirement early.
(09:30):
They said, go away, that's it, you're done a month early.
He was gonna retire a month from now, as it was. Well,
the best part is is that you know someone like
Mega Rapino is going to be insulated and she will
be protected because God forbid if you if you do
criticize her or attack her for what she has falsely
said and stated from the White House, your misogynistic. The
(09:53):
women are always right unless they accused of Shaun Watson
of being a pervert. And then many people think that
the women are lying and that's all you know that
that's a whole different cant of this has to take
you to your show into week one of the season. Right,
this is gonna we're gonna ride this out, ride it,
ride it, ride it good, right good. But every day,
(10:14):
every day there'll be some other Jane Doe coming forward
and some nugget of information that guy Tony Buzzby is
a master man he is, that this has been orchestrated
where he's just a leak, leak, leak. Every day, here's
another wrinkle, and it just goes on and on and
on and on. I mean, the first thing I thought
of was Darren Sharper when all this stuff came down.
(10:35):
And obviously they're different circumstances because he was drugging women
and and traveling across state borders. But you know who
the funk brings in him a series from out of state. Well,
even if you were like DeShawn Watson, thing unravels because
even he said, okay, you know he needed a massage.
Wouldn't you settle, you know, outside of team facility, Like,
(10:57):
wouldn't you say, okay, why don't we settle on one
masseus and we'll just use that masseus and that'll be
the massus that we use, or maybe even two. I
could give you three, but sixteen it's I mean, the numbers,
the volume of accusers here. It paints the picture that
there was other stuff going on. And I go back
to the conspiracy that that we're hearing that one of
(11:20):
the theories the cabal has come up with here, that
is that this was all code language that uh, to
to stay a step ahead of the law, you can't
say I'm going to see a professional working woman. You
instead say I'm getting a massage, and uh, you know,
just happened to end up where the massage ended up
(11:43):
with my salami going places it wasn't supposed to go originally.
So here. So here's the thing. If you are Watson's attorney,
you have to play that's out a couple of different ways.
Wouldn't you be inclined to go on the attack and
start talking to these women. You can obviously talk to them,
but you could meet with their attorneys and say, hey,
(12:03):
we can pay you a certain dollar amount if you'd like,
but we're also gonna put the FBI on you because
if you've been doing this with our client, that you've
been doing with other men, and that means you're typically
getting paid in cash, which means the I R. S
Is gonna be straight up your ass now to look
at what kind of assets you do have and if
your liquid, they're gonna find that cash. If you're not,
we want to see deposits on your account. Yeah, well,
(12:26):
but they wouldn't argue, well, there's no paper trail, so
what are you gonna do? You know, no paper trail.
But yeah, if you're the attorney for Deshaun Watson, yea.
Based on what we know, and there's obviously stuff we
don't know, maybe there's more to the story that will
come out that will change everything dramatically. At this moment,
you go into damage control mode. You cut your losses,
(12:46):
and Deshaun is gonna based on what I've seen here,
he's gonna have to admit he was, you know, a
serial massage perv um, but it was all consentual. His
the argument, he's gonna have to make hething criminal happened here.
He's just a a single guy, and uh, he liked
getting his rocks off with different massage people. He liked
(13:07):
to meet random women on Instagram and get a massage.
And and you know, these were professional women. They knew
what they were getting into. This is what they do
for a living. And that's it. That's gonna make him
look like a creep. But it's it's that's to me,
that's the outcome. What else is the defense? You can't
say he didn't do it if there's a paper trail,
a digital paper trail on Instagram that carves you up
(13:29):
and you know, paints the picture that this ain't all
made up. You're meeting random, strange women. I'm guessing they're
all attractive women. I would think, right, at least he
found attractive, I would imagine, right, yeah, thatwise, why would
he click on their profiles and say, hey, I need
a massage. So here's the other question I was gonna
opposed to you. How do you play this out? If
you're DeShawn Watson's significant other? Do you go the Aaron
(13:51):
Hernande's wife route where you just stay in this no
matter what, through trial, through conviction, and through that payday
because he's not married. So I don't I don't think that.
I think that's just a breakup situation unless the woman
is just you know, some women that you know guys
are like this too, was power hungry. You know, you
know you're with a jock, and the jock sniffers, Oh,
(14:12):
he's a star quarterback, well right now, he's That would
be disinformation because he's not a star quarterback. Because he's
not a quarterback. Uh, he's not gonna be playing anytime
soon in the NFL. So there are a lot of
there's a lot of tentacles to this. You don't think
he plays Week one, No, no, this week one in
the NFL. I think he's suspended because this isn't gonna
be over by then. Uh. And even if he, let's
(14:33):
say that he does reach an n D a non
disclosure agreement with these women and we still get suspended.
They suspended Roethlisberger and Zeke Elliott, and there were you know,
Roethlisberger had a couple of situations where he was with
the Berbert and Zeke had one and the Zeke evidence.
(14:53):
We did a lot of monologues about that. We did
several monologues the evidence actually indicated that Zeke should not
have been suspen ended, and they still suspended him. So
good luck. He's not gonna play in week one. And
it is fun though, to look back at those comments
coming from Deshaun Watson's camp about how the Texans were
dysfunctional and they were the bad guys. He's going and uh,
(15:17):
playing touchy feely with every massage therapist he can get
his hands on. Yeah. Remember I think it was just
after the season ended. He had posted something on Instagram
or Twitter about getting away from everything and he was
on a boat with his with his girlfriend. Yeah, well
he got away from those massage therapists. Yeah, jeez man,
that man the masseuse is that now that the back
(15:40):
to the conspiracy theory. Part of the conspiracy theory was
the reason that he didn't pay the full amount is
because these were professional women. He knew he didn't have
to pay them. Yeah, so what are they gonna do.
They can't go to the police because their professionals is
what they do. And he you know, and he's the
star quarterback and there's nobody you know, they're just random
women he finds on on Instagram's fascinating we'll see if
that actually is what happened. So I got a couple
(16:03):
of things. I got Desperado. This is a video game
blues story. Now. I have mentioned in the past that
my michigas Uh, there's a word game that I have
been playing for like the last literally the last year,
probably a year and a half. And the reason I'm
paying playing that game, and the reason I've played that
(16:25):
game so much is it claimed that if you played
X number of games, they would they would pay you
money right to cash out, uh, And they give you
like a gift card, Amazon gift card or PayPal PayPal
you money, but you have to get to twenty dollars right.
So every every game you know you played, you rack
up some more credit, and you play like two hundred games,
(16:48):
you get a penny, right. So early on they give
you a lot of money so you'll play more. So
I've been playing this game for a year and a half.
To get I was like, I'm gonna get to the
twenty box, I'm gonna cash out and move on to
the next game. So the further along I got in
the scam, and I've now discovered it's a scam. The
(17:09):
further along I got the less money they gave. Like
originally it was like twenty cents for you know, fifty
games or whatever it was. And then as I got
closer and closer to pay dirt, it became play a
hundred and eighties something games and then we'll give you
one cent. So I'm like, okay, you're not gonna wear
me down. And they probably figured most people quit, you're
(17:31):
not gonna wear me down. Um, So it turns out
I got to nineteen dollars and nine nine cents and
I have now been hustled, scammed, bamboozled, hoodwinked, and let astray.
And I'm gonna name the game here. People at the
game is called word relax. Do not play the game.
(17:54):
Do not play the game. In my opinion, it's a scam.
It is a scam. The game world relaxed. And so
what happened was, um, there's a on the on the game.
There's a little like money symbol on the front of
the game, so you click on it and it would
give you your balance. It would tell you how much
money you've earned. But again you have to get to
(18:14):
twenty dollars to cash out. So I'm looking at my
my phone right now, this word game it's nine. Now
here's where the scam is. So up until you get
to nineteen dollars and ninety nine cents, it would tell
you you have to play X number of games to
get the next payout. Right, so if you were at
(18:35):
like nineteen dollars and ten cents, you gotta play two games,
you'll get another cent or whatever. They don't tell you
how much you're gonna get, but they'll tell you get something. Well,
as soon as I got to nineteen dollars and ninety
nine cents, what do you think disappeared? Gascon. Yes, the
total number that you need to play to get the
next payout, which you know, I thought, well, maybe that's
(18:55):
just a mistake and I could play two hundred more
games and they'll get the money. So I did a
little dude religion said little research, which I wish I
had done earlier. I went to the app store and
I started snooping around and apparently, um, I am in
line with other idiots and other suckers that have been
played and scammed by these people, because there's a whole
list of people that posted on the reviews in the
(19:19):
the app store there that Sam the same thing happened
to them. The first thing I see when I Google
is it says you'll never get any money. I'm at
level four oh one and I have seventeen dollars and
twenty cents. I've decided to play this game and see
how long it takes. But you don't make any real No, no, no,
it's a it's a scam, and I have I'm at
level six thousand and one and thirteen. I have played
(19:42):
over six thousand of these games to get to the
twenty dollar point, and I'm on the I'm right near
the finish line, and now they've they've pulled the rug
underneath me out from underneath. The silver lining is you're
you're now flush with with great vocabulary? Yes, it does,
it doesn't. Here's the other thing though, all right, Uh
(20:03):
would I be better off this way? Am I better
off this way? Where I got to nineteen dollars nine
cents and now I know I will not get to
the twenty dollars. I've wasted a year and of my time.
Or would I have been better off getting to the
twenty dollars and then having them not pay it off
because I've heard they've done that too. There's some people
that posted on the app store, well I did get
to the twenty dollars, but they never sent me the money.
(20:23):
I'd rather be at because you're efforting, you still continue
to play. I'm just polarized by how you got duped
into this. This is not the first time you've had
Tom Looney take you down a dark path in in
real estate and blind Scott with stocks, and now you've
done this to this. I'm too trusting, trusting, and I
(20:45):
talked to you last week about Cathy Wood and her
investments with with ARC and you said, we're not tailing her,
We're not telling anybody in the stock market. We're above
all that. We need to go off the beating bath.
Well yeah, because that's because a blind Scott take advice.
Some blind Scott, you know, like, what are you doing?
You didn't know what he's you know, come on, what,
(21:05):
I can't believe you. I'm here to help. I'm I'm
trying to to help you with with investments. Week. Here's
a guy I played a ton of games six thousand
and seven, So this guy's played six hundred and something
more games than I played. He says he's been at
nine earned for five hundred nineties seven games. Oh good, Oh,
(21:34):
what a bunch of scam artists. How does how does
Apple and these these phone companies allow that game in
their app store? How do they allow that? How do
they allow that? They advertised that you can make some money. Um,
they have, they have, they have a president taking off
those talking taking off those social media apps, and not that.
(21:54):
That's that's unbelievable. Yeah, that is, that is outstanding. I
guess the bigger question is is why are you hunting
for twenty on an app like that? Well, no, I
like playing word games. I thought, well why not, you know,
killed two birds with one stone. I like money, and
I figured twenty bucks, I can buy some cheap stocks
that pay divid ends and maybe they'll go up and
I'll make a little extra money. Money makes money, and
(22:17):
I end up getting hustle. Why not play some words
scramble with a friend and start gambling on words? I
like my Occasionally I have an extra five ten minutes here,
I'll play before I go to bed. I'll play, you know,
on the weekends I'm sitting around doing nothing at the
beach or whatever, and play the games. Yeah, that's it. Yeah,
A bunch of a bunch of hustlers got sucks. I mean,
(22:40):
I'm really piste off about it because I mean, he's
he's these unsavory characters behind these video games. Uh you
know it's it's the den of iniquity is what it
is here, the criminal activity. I'm sorry, all right? And
then I also have bug eyed. I wanted to mention
bug eyed here. Guess go on. So this week I
(23:02):
noticed there were some scratches on my bifocals that I
needed to upgrade that. So I I'm fine, whatever. I
hadn't gotten new eyeglasses in a while, so the uh,
the wife set up an appointment to get to last.
I wanted to keep the frames and change the lenses, right,
(23:23):
because that was the part that was scratched. The frames
are expensive, so she calls up the optometrist and sets
up an appointment. So the plan was to keep the frames,
as I said, replaced lens. So over the phone, the
people at the optometrist office looked up my prescription and
quoted my wife. I think it was like a hundred
(23:45):
and sixty five dollars for new lenses. I was like, okay,
that seems reasonable. That seems fair that seems good. I mean, uh.
And so I show up to the appointment to drop
off my glass. Now the eye doctors so freaked out
by the COVID that they locked the door. You have
to call them to let them know that you're there.
So I called them. Then I had to sit behind
(24:09):
a plexiglass and have my temperature taken before they would
allow me into the to the eye eyes. They're they're
taking every possible precaution imaginable for the COVID. So I'd like, fine, whatever.
So then I I sit down and uh, I right away,
my like a red flag went up because they said, well,
(24:32):
you know, you're gonna have to sign a waiver because
maybe we'll break the frames of your glasses. And so
that got my dander up. But I was like, okay,
you know, I understand. I mean, they just want to
cover themselves liability. Fine, uh, and I assume they do
this all the time, There'll be no problem. So then
they looked at my glasses. They looked at my chart,
(24:53):
and they then told me that I mean, they did
the math and they wrote it down and they said
that they changed the quote. They said that actually the
price for the glasses just the lenses, not the frames
was almost four hundred dollars. So again I'm quoted at one.
They come back with four hundred dollars. So after I after,
(25:16):
I ended up getting up from the floor. There be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Miller Show weekdays
at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports
Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Realizing, hey, this
is bait and switch here. They tell you one price
(25:38):
on the phone, you get there, I I go bug
eyed and I'm thinking, you know what, Yeah, I need
I need new glasses, new pair of specs and all that,
but I don't need four hundred dollars worth of glasses.
And I got up, I said thank you for your time.
I've changed my mind, and I walked out and I left.
So I'll be hitting up a Costco for some Kirkland
(26:01):
brand glasses next time I need I glasses. You know,
try to give you know, local optometrist, local eye doctor,
and opportunity for your business. And they they attempt to
scam you for an extra two hundred bucks. How often
do you get your eyes checked anyway? Uh? Usually every year.
I didn't get them checked last year because of the COVID,
but usually every year. When how often do you get
(26:22):
your How often do you get a physical? I never?
I used to never get physical. I've had a couple
of physicals now in recent years. Yeah, well I used
to never get them. You don't get an annual physical, no, No,
I never did until recently I did. I had sematical
had the gold gladder because of that stuff. So yeah,
I know my physical. Remember last year I told you
(26:44):
around Halloween time, I thought I had diabetes because I
had passed out from eating too much candy. So I
had I went and had blood work done and had
you know, the physical, and they were like amazed because
of my They claim because of my diet that a
lot of my my numbers had been proved. So just
last time I had a physical. It's crazy to think
because you've worked with guys like Steve de seger, Um
(27:07):
Lee Kleine, Prince of Darkness, Tony Bruno, these people, even
some of your listeners, they have seen you through four
different versions of you, like the big, the small, the skinny,
the gall bladder, the no gall bladder. You've got the transformation.
I was the more of the obese for a long time. Yeah,
(27:31):
I lost a lot of weight. Then I gained a
fair amount of the weight back, and now I've lost it. Yeah.
So I've as my my guy Jerry Callahan in Boston,
the radio guy says, we've had him on the podcast
The Yo Yo Dieter. But I'm pretty pretty good where
I'm at. I think I've maintained where I i've been.
Not that you see me every day, guess, but I
(27:52):
have maintained my lifestyle here, and I think I'm not
gaining weight. I'm still losing a little bit, and but
I'm managing it pretty well. I think that the most
dramatic photos I've seen of you are actually during the
holiday season. You're Santa Claus photos. Oh, yes, you don't
fill out anywhere, you know, I'm no longer a good
Santa Clause like that belt has to be actually tightened
(28:15):
a little bit more to go through. Now it's like, hey, mom,
why did Santa Claus lose weight? Oh, there's a hunger strike.
You went on a hunger strike and that's what Yeah,
Santa Claus doing cardio now all right. Uh oh, speaking
of Lee bought up Lee client. I got a call
from the Prince of Darkness. We were reminiscing because of
the passing of Elgin Baylor. We both had some great
(28:36):
stories about Elgin in his days as the Clipper executive
and Lee was really really pretty good friends with Elgin,
and through my relationship with Lee, I spent some time
uh in the shadows around the Clips and with Elgin.
Lee was the Clipper talk host post game host for
a while. And right, yeah, the morbid sports right now,
(28:58):
the Masoleum back in the day, and we we would
always before the draft of the put the lottery, Elgin
would come out and uh he always said like the
same four or five things, because what else you gonna say,
you know about the player they're gonna get. You know,
this guy's gonna help the team, and the future is
bright and all this stuff. And but the funniest night
(29:19):
I referenced this, I didn't really tell the story properly.
Maybe should get lead back on the podcast to tell
the story. But the night in Phoenix before Game seven
of the Clippers Sons playoff series and like oh five
or oh six, something like that. This is the Elton
Brand vintage Corey mcgetty vintage of the Clippers. And uh,
we we were there in Phoenix, were standing in Phoenix
(29:40):
because we were there to cover Game seven and uh
we drove. Actually the funny there's there's some very funny
parts of that story. We me and Lee drove from
l a to Phoenix for Game seven. Uh. And uh
we we get there to the to the hotel and
(30:00):
the Clipper bus shows up right we got there before
the Clippers got there, and the first person off the
Clipper bus was Clipper Daryl. We're like, what what the hell?
And apparently Darryll had gone to the airport to l
a X to wish the guy's good luck as they left,
and they said, hey, Wan want to come with us,
and so they put Clipper Darryl on the team plane.
(30:21):
Was he suited up to Yeah, he had the full
Clipper fan gear on the whole thing. And he came
off and he saw us and We're like, oh my god.
It was crazy. But we we were riding the elevator
at the Ritz Carlton in Scottsdale where they they were staying.
And uh, I will not reveal the name of the person,
but we we, but there was an associate, a guy
that worked for the Clippers who a low level guy
(30:43):
that was in the elevator and was going to Donald
Sterling's private v I P floor at the very top
of the rich Carlton. Uh. This is like we're heads
of state, stay dignitaries and my Michael Jordan. To get
the entire floor, you have a special car to get
access to it. The so he say, you want you guys,
wanna you wanna get somebody eat? Uh, you know I
(31:04):
got I'll take you up to the v I P
thing I got access to. So of course, you know,
of course we want to check it out. So we
go up there and the guy invites us out and
there's like this whole wall of uh like shellfish, high
end seafood buffet and uh, all for one one person,
Donald Sterling, and he's walking around in his pajamas and
(31:25):
all this stuff and uh but Elgin was up there,
Elgin Baylor and his wife and so we go over
there and and Lee starts striking up a conversation with
Elgin and then like Sterling his name came up, and
Lee starts like trashing Donald Sterling to to Elgin right
(31:47):
if whatever the issue wasn't the day. I don't remember what,
but he's like ripping him, and like Lee is facing
Elgin and his wife are sitting on the couch and
I'm standing next to Lee. Lee's face racing the wall
and the couch. Elgin looking out can see the main
area of this luxury suite where people are, you know,
(32:09):
the courtyard if you it's a big it's hard to
describe it. There was a main room and then there
were a couple of side rooms. It was. It was
a V I P luxury penthouse. And so he's he's
looking out and Lee is telling his BS story about
about about Sterling, and Elgin's wife starts doing the kill
sign because she saw Sterling and and then Elgin realizes
(32:32):
and Elgin is like trying to do that. It was
so fun and we didn't know why they were doing that.
It was, as I remember it, it was very very
amusing there. It was very amusing. We have pop quiz.
You want to do a little bit of pop quiz?
All right? Here we go. Pop quizzies are things I
found scouring the internet, and we do that every Saturday.
(32:53):
We call it pop quiz because I like oddball, weird
things and they find them interesting. Well, any of this
include a Kamala Harris Bill Clinton Convention on Women's empowerment.
That's all you, that's all you, my man. I know
you're on that Kamala bandwack. So I don't want to
interrupt the President in waiting, right, President in waiting? Someone
(33:14):
said the actual president right now? Who knows. I'll circle
back to that. How about that? Is that what you said?
The White House? I'll circle back to that, all right.
In viewers watched nearly nineties seven billion minutes of the
television program Friends, which classic TV show came in next
with just over fifty eight billion minutes watched in Friends
(33:39):
was number one? What was number two? I think, man,
I'm gonna say it was either one of these two.
I think it's I Love Lucy, I Love Lucy, okay,
or or Mash two? Oh damn for two? Would you
like to try again, Star Trek, that's a good one.
(34:03):
Uh no, No, we don't have a Missmash or mixed
match or whatever. Blair says. This is a nineteen sixties
TV show. Man, Do do Do Do? Do? Do? Not
gonna dragnet is? Do do Do Do Do Do Do
Do Do Do Do Doo Doo doo doo doo doo. Nope. Uh.
It featured Ron Howard, Don Nots and a guy by
(34:25):
the name of Andy Taylor better known as Andy Griffith
Andy Griffith Show. I totally thought it was I Love Lucy. Yeah,
I never got into the Andy Griffith Show. I watched
I Love Lucy when I was a kid. A little
bit of mash. Explain that to me, because this is
(34:46):
the streaming numbers right er was watched, So I would
think these are older people that love the Andy. Is
there a younger generation that's fallen in love with Maybury?
And I am my fa getting something here? Am I? Am?
I missing something about this? But what about Well maybe
because those shows are also on other channels to like
c W or some of those other cable channels that
(35:11):
are are partnered with, are they subsidiarias of like a
CBS or an NBC or a Fox. Is that possible?
I get I don't know. It doesn't get in the
specifics here, but that's uh. Andy Griffith, you think Friends
and Andy Riffis show if you had to bring back
Seinfeld Cheers, you think all the great shows that have
been on over the years. But if you had to
(35:31):
bring back a show from the eighties, what would you
bring back? Because I was always like a Mr. Belvedere,
the Golden years, growing pines, I like Cheers, I like Yeah,
I like those cheesy early eighties, late seventies. Yeah. Um
like Chips with Pontorella. They try to bring that back.
It was a disaster. There's a TV show called Emergency,
(35:53):
remember that. Yeah? I like writers night right, All Night
Writer is a good one. Michael Knight, Magna p i
um not bad. Watch the Magnum p. I remember Fantasy Island,
the Plane, the Plane, Bosley Blade, oh Man, good Man,
good classic TV. Al Right about people say they never
(36:15):
do this while driving, while thirty say they do this
all the time, texting. No, this is something I do
when I'm driving. Um, I don't text while driving, guest,
because I've done p s as on that. You should
not do that. Flush flash your teeth. No use cruise control. Yeah,
(36:36):
well we live pretty far away from work, so yeah,
I love cruise control. My wife hates cruise control. Well,
you said you specifically said it at seventy nine, don't you. Yes,
because I was told by a highway patrol officer that
as long as you're seventy nine are under, I will
not write a ticket. It's eighty and above you can
get a ticket. And ever since then, I have not
gotten a ticket for going. I can go seventy nine.
(36:59):
That's my limit. I'm good and I don't have to
worry about getting a ticket. At least I haven't got
a ticket doing that. So that's what I do. Uh.
New report says the average person is four times more
likely to buy this on Sunday Sunday Sunday than any
other day of the week. What are they buying? It's
(37:22):
kind of become part of American culture to do this
on Sunday Americana alcohol kiss cony. Have you ever heard
of blue laws? Guess god, have you heard of blue laws? No?
What are blue laws? You don't know what blue laws are?
(37:45):
What are blue laws? And your dad ran the l
A p D. You've never heard of blue laws? No,
it's essentially they ban they prohibit the sale of alcohol
on on on Sunday. So yeah, there you go. Utah
obviously is uh yeah, like all over the Bible Belt,
which is like twenty one states are actually in the
(38:06):
Bible Belt. Did you know that there's actually twenty one
states that the people think of the Bible Belt only
as below the Mason Dixon line. But I actually was
explained this years ago by a program director because we
know in case they we'll get in trouble, will step
on some toes for people on the Bible Belt with
with content and but the traditional Bible Belt is like Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Uh, Tennessee,
(38:34):
South Carolina, Oklahoma, that part. But you also have parts
of Florida, like the the Panhandle of Florida right there.
They call it the Redneck Riviera. Um, you've got parts
of that. There's parts of Iowa, parts of Indiana, parts
of Kansas, obviously, Utah, uh, parts of New Mexico, parts
(38:55):
of Ohio is a ton and they're not all just
buried down in the south. They're spread out. I've never
heard of it put like that blue laws. I've only
heard of it as a Sunday law. You've never Okay, well,
I I've always known about the blue I'm more educated
(39:15):
and new gift guns want to pay. I'm just a
bad Catholic. That's a bad job by you. I thought
you of all people with the blue laws, and you'd
be all over that. It was one of the jokes
about playing. The Jazz to this day will not play
games on Sunday. Uh say sometimes in the playoffs. I
don't even think they do it in the playoffs. Yeah,
because you know the jokers. You go to Salt Lake
(39:38):
on the weekend, you gotta drink milk. Well, Sandy Kofax
didn't pitching a World Series game because it was on
a Sunday. Well it was. It was because of the
Jewish holiday. It wasn't because yeah, it just happened to
be on a on a Sunday. Anyway, all right, here
we go. What's next year? Any me? Any money? Mo? Uh?
The the I mean, answer the question. I think I
(39:59):
answered the question. You were still got so distracted by
your answer. Yeah. The thing people buy more on Sunday
than any other day of the week. Breakfast, you know,
Sunday breakfast brunch type of thing. That's a tradition. That
that's a tradition in America. Yeah, all right. A new
survey asked people to name their favorite things inside their home.
(40:20):
The bed. It was the most common answer what was
numbered two? We're Americans, I'd probably say it's some bullshit
like a TV. No, not the coffee maker. No, not
the coffee do um. Refrigerator, yes, refrigerator. Now do you
(40:41):
have is your refrigerator two doors or do you have
a top at the bottom for your freezer? Um, we've
got a massive refrigerator here. It's two doors up top
and then two drawers down low. It actually, yeah, it's
got water. The ice thing hasn't worked in the like
a couple of years. It actually looks better than it
(41:03):
actually functions. The refrigerator. Uh. The the company that made
the refrigerator, let's just say they're better at making television
than you are refrigerators. No, I'm not not very good
at that. Nearly one out of ten weddings this year
will feature this. What is it? A um? Ah, I
(41:27):
don't want to say Mariachi band? Mariachi. It's pretty random.
Uh No. The correct answer A pet? Jesus pet, you're
not married, Guestcan you know you could meet somebody and
then you want to get married, and then you gotta
walk down the aisle with fighter Never happened. You get
annoyed when you go to restaurants and people people bring
(41:49):
their their pets in. Um. The thing that annoys me
is when I know it's bullshit. You know, you can
kind of tell when they're actually required. I get it.
If you need uh, you know you're you need a
traditional service dog, I get it, But you can tell
there's that Usually it's an old to stereotypes like I'm
a middle aged older woman lonely and she's got her
(42:10):
SHIPSU as her emotional support dog, which you know is
not really what the laws are designed for. But she's
carrying the thing around. Yeah, uh, what else do you? All? Right?
A new survey asked adults to name something they miss
about their childhood. This was the most common answer, What
is it? Cartoons? Not school holidays? Now, see, isn't that
(42:36):
great when you're a kid, Like the excitement spring break
or you know, long holiday weekend because of some fugazy
teacher in service day or California every day is a
holiday kids. Kids aren't allowed to go to school these days,
So I know I would do so well in this
zoom school. I can lay in bed and seven percent
of adults say they sleep with this What is it?
(42:57):
Minor only got her guest gun a m. How about
a radio. I wish it was more than seven percent.
That's not the answer. It's got to be more than
seven percent. Radio on in the background. Great thing, go
to sleep, radio on in the background. This is actually
something I think you do. Guess you sleep with this,
That's what I hear. I think it was justin and
(43:18):
Cincinnati that said this what a bottle? A bottle? No,
a stuffed animal? Stuffy? Don't you have stuff? Were those?
Did you ever own or have any of those beanie
bears back in the days? I they were a little
after my my heyday of my youth, but I did
(43:38):
have some that were given to me, like I I
got it going to Dodger Angel games as giveaways because
those are there was a frenzy on those being super
expensive to write on the resale market. They were getting
priced at like three or four or five dollars a pop. Yeah,
well that would be the fat right. It was fat
not a trend. There's a big, big difference there. Yeah,
(44:01):
I just short lived. But you know the cabbage Patch dolls,
fidget spinner spinner, remember that was a couple of years ago. Yeah,
I just remember that because we were talking last week
I think about baseball cards and selling or getting them
priced out, and what would you depart with them? So, yeah,
I want to see if those n f t s,
those non fungible tokens are a short term situation or
(44:23):
they Jack Dorrisey sold his first one for I think
two and a half million dollars. These guys all there's
a term they use on Wall Street that all these
celebrities must be all saying to each other, get that
dumb money, right, I mean, you get that dumb money
as fast as you can get it, And that's that's
what they're doing. There's a lot of dumb money out there.
(44:46):
Os and their money are soon parted or something like that,
all right. A new survey asked people to name something
they keep in their junk drawers. Rubber bands was the
most common answer. What was number Do paper clips? Yeah?
I would have thought paper clips too, But no birthday candles?
Birthday candles? Yeah? Why the funk would you hold on
(45:08):
to birthday can? I don't know why? Well, hold on?
Do you keep old Christmas bags just for repackaging? I
tried to, but the wife attempts to get rid of
of all people she does. Yeah, what what do you
mean of all people, Because she's the hippie, she's the recycler,
she's all about recycling the world. Yeah, but the clutter
(45:32):
and all that. And I listen, I learned from going
through my parents house it's probably better to get rid
of the stuff. Now, wait till you die and somebody
else has to get rid of it. You know. It's uh,
you know, it seems like but you're not taking any
of the crap with you anyway, so you might as
well get rid of it now. I just think for
repackaging purposes that would make sense. Right, Someone gives you
a bag, something in a bag, and you just keep
it for your gifts. Now, what do you do about
(45:53):
like cards? When you get an actual like a Hallmark card,
you hold onto those? Oddly enough, I keep my cards
for long time. Yeah I do too. Yea, all right, Uh,
let's see your page down, page down, page down. About
twenty of us admit to having one of these, even
though it probably doesn't work, and we know it doesn't work,
(46:16):
but we still admit to having a BlackBerry. Now, a
good luck charm, a good luck check, a token. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
if you I'm like that. I got a few things
that I keep, the trinkets that I hold on to
for for good luck. Do you have a good luck number?
(46:36):
Not really a number per se? What about you? I
usually kept my football number eighty four and it was
uh was a fan of number seven with with John
Ellie growing up, So probably why I'm a fan of
playing craps. Right, sevens and elevens rose the payouts. Did
you you win money at craps? Yeah, I'm good at craps,
(46:58):
craps and black So really I don't really know how
to play craps. My experience with craps, though, it is
just I'm just piggyback. I'm a piggyback guy. I go
to the table, see who's hot, and just whatever that
bet is boom. Well, I think the fun thing about
craps is that if you put money on on the
past line is you can you can put money to
(47:19):
back that up after and you could put four times
the dollar amount. Some tables it's five times the dollar amount,
so you can really balloon your your money up and
then obviously people fading the table. What's the most you
wanted craps? But so did you have to fill out
then the no, No, it took a long time to
(47:40):
get to that dollar amount because I don't I don't
fade the table, but I play what's called it don't
come line at times, and so it's actually, ah, that's
actually a rule to Shaun Watson. Should happen anyway, go ahead,
it's all about But yeah, sometimes if there's a cold table,
you want to fade the shooters, and so I'll bet
(48:02):
that or I'll play against the number that doesn't get rolled.
But yeah, it takes a while to build up that
kind of bankroll. I had a buddy of mine that
was down to his last fifteen dollars on a craps
table and at the hard Rock Cafe or hard Rock
Cafe Harrod Casino, and within twenty minutes he was up
five thousand dollars. It took him just a blink of
(48:23):
an eye. But it comes and goes that fast if
you start playing every single option on that board. So well,
the thing too, like you if you're gambling, you wanna
win enough but not go to where they give you
the tax form to fill up. Yeah, there's that fine
line at the casino where you wanna you know, you
(48:44):
want to go a certain way, but you want to
win some money, but obviously you don't want to go
over the number because then you got pay. Not that
people would ever be, you know, doctoring their taxes because
that would be wrong. But at least it gives you
the freedom to move some things around. But you're susceptible
at slots for that when you're playing on the table
as you're not because if you're playing for a specific
(49:05):
amount of time, they can rate you depending on your action,
but they don't know the total count of money going
in and going out all the time. Yeah, and there's
some tricks you can do as far as kind of
when you win a certain amount, you know, pull it back,
lower your bed and all those kind of things that
they're just basic, basic things. Yeah, that's the mistake most
people make with gaming money management. That's uh, that's why
(49:26):
we've taken our money from the casinos into the stock market. Yes,
buckle say, I've taxed me anyway. So my guy in
Baltimore is trying to get me to get bitcoin. I'm like, no,
I don't want any bitcoins. No, it's a fifty thousand,
it's gonna go to a hundred thousand. You know, he's
convinced it's gonna go to a hundred thousands, so he's
desperately trying to He said, just put a couple of
hundred bucks and you'll make you double your money. You know,
(49:49):
it's like a cult man, a bitcoin thing. Do you
have any Bitcoin? I do not. I think it bullshit
a few times that I'm a pilot about some of
the investments with the airlines because Boeing has been and
no pun intended, but up and down over the last
year year and a half. But they were they were
getting their ass handed to them back in Yeah. So
(50:10):
the assumption they talked about playing the stock market, the
assumption for the simpleton is now that commerce is starting
to resume and by the end of the year, hopefully
things will be back to somewhat normal. Uh and hopefully
sooner than that that people will start traveling and so
by stock in the different airlines and the hospitality hospitality
(50:31):
hotels and whatnot. And we'll see if that actually happens.
We'll see. Yeah, I believe it when it when it
takes place. Of couple say their first important discussion after
getting married was about blank kids. No, who's doing the laundry? Yeah?
I was doing the laundry. I'm pretty easy. I throw
(50:52):
everything I have into one load. Doesn't matter if it's
colored or if it was you know, whites, temperature and
cold water. I'm gonna go man, all right, Uh yeah,
you know. I I do the dishes. The wife usually
does a laundry, but she she waits for like laundry
day and does it, and I like more if I
(51:15):
if I do the laundry, I'll do it occasionally, you know,
I just do it whenever. You know. I can see
more as a paper plate kind of guy anyway, So me, Yeah,
a little gamesmanship. Nah, I I washed. I watched the plates.
I'm a great dishwasher. That's my future to tell you
some of this radio thing when they start listening to
the show and realizing it sucks, I'm moving over to
the dishwashing game. I'm in very cathartic of you to
(51:37):
wash dishes and watch splints. Yeah, when it comes to dinner,
eighteen percent of people say they never do this. What
is it? Tip? Now? Watch TV during dinner? M I
watched TV during dinner quite a bit. Yeah, I have
a problem with it. What's wrong with that? What last one?
(51:57):
What in six people say they forgot to do this
on a or they forget to do this rather on
a daily basis. Rush their teeth. No drink water. Drink water,
makes sense? What's up with that? All right, that's it.
We'll put the baby to bed and we've got the
mail bag on Sunday. If you enjoy this podcast. If
(52:19):
you're a fan of this podcast, please review the podcast
The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard podcast. If you go
to the Apple podcast page also I Heart the I
Heart podcast page, or just i Heeart Radio i heeart
dot com, you can find a place to the very
bottom there to review the podcast and subscribe and you'll
(52:40):
get the podcast downloaded right to your phone whenever you
want to hear it on the weekends and tell a
friend there's a cult following here to the Fifth Hour.
And we we need an we we love round numbers,
so we need another about twenty five or so ratings
to get to the next big round number, Burt, to
get to the next big round number. So if you
(53:03):
want to help us out on that, that would be great.
There and you can review the podcast on Apple Podcasts
and whatnot. To have a great rest of your Saturday
and we'll chat you What's Chat with You on Sunday.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be
(53:23):
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app
If you thought more hours a day, hundred minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
as we bloviate, even on the weekends. Here the Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller, and we are back at it
again on a Saturday. I hope you heard the Friday podcast.
Tim Donnie, Yeah, Tim Donnie, it was good to talk
(00:43):
to him, the former NBA referee who was betting on
NBA games that he was working and uh man, it
was an interesting conversation. Were joined by yet again David
Gascon this weekend, resting before all hand by critics for
(01:06):
whose appearance on the show this week. There's a there's
a lot of vitry on social media. It's fascinating how
many assholes are on Twitter and then when they call
into your show, they're just gas on, what's up, man,
how are you doing? That's not that's not what I'm
here man. You were condemned, you were criticized, chestis lamb basted,
(01:28):
hell fire and damnation to guests, Scott. They burned you
in effigy. Guest they tried. I mean half those people
are like half my size. The other half would never
say that ship to my face. You were a human piniata.
That's what you were. Clear active disrespect the caller of
the year, the back to back call of the year,
and you threw a brick. Blind Scott is probably your
(01:51):
best collar. And he'd even call in you had Marcel on.
That's because you were here. He didn't. He didn't want
to talk to you. He'd rather be waterboarded. Blind stop.
By the way, Blind Scott is trying to get me
to go to Boston just to go to a Red
Sox game on April twenty. He's like, hey, April, they
play on the April. No, I think it's the date
(02:12):
that's important to him. He loves the wheat, so that's why.
And he's like flying to Boston, you know, like it's
you know, easy just to fly into Boston from from
l A, no big deal and go to a Red
Sox game and all that, and let's do this and
he's he's emailed. He's like, yeah, yeah, we got other listeners.
I was like, oh, you know, I heard the flights
are really cheap. Though I heard the flights are really cheap,
so but I don't think I'm gonna make it, but
(02:34):
I'll look. I mean, I love Boston, so yeah, prob
is still usually in April, it's still kind of nasty.
The weather doesn't really get that great until May. Now,
if you do go to logan before you depart, are
you going to put on social media? Twitter and Instagram?
A You're gonna put a vaccine card? Like, hey, congratulations,
I got a vaccine card. You're gonna flaunt a vaccine
(02:56):
card like some people are doing. And I I haven't
gotten the vaccine on eligible for for ye and I
guess I'm too young. But that that donut thing point,
that's free donuts? What's that about? What I mean free donuts?
You mentioned this the other day? You get free donuts
every day? Or when I mentioned that too in the area,
like talking to me like I had a third TI
or something. I was shocked you to hear about it,
(03:18):
because yeah, I saw the headline, but I didn't really
like I didn't really read the story as I really care.
I mean, I like, there's a local donut shop that
I like, donut Man much better, right, like the locals
as supposed to exactly exactly. Yeah, So they're incentivizing people
that if you get the vaccine you show your card
or certification of it, that they give you one free
(03:38):
donut every day for the year as perfect. So you
can you can. You don't even have to get the vaccine.
You can just get a fake card that says you
have it. They're just a little cardboard cards. It's like
a credit card or something. So behind the curtains, there's
a favorite spot you like to go to in downtown
Los Angeles for pstrami and it's Avarado Street. Um. Back
(04:00):
in the day, we us, you know, kids that wanted
to get fake I d s. We would go onto
that street for a fake I d uh. So what
do we do nowadays? We go down to Alvarado for
for fake COVID certificates. Is that what we're doing? Well? No,
so you're you're referring to Langer's Delia. MacArthur Park is
right across the street, which is a beautiful park until
(04:22):
you actually look at the miscreants that are that are
in the park and then you're like, holy crap, what
I can't believe that that is going on. They're just brutal.
But uh yeah, you would have to go down there.
I guess I was, you know, growing up in the
o C. Back in the day, I went to a
meat market called uh there was a place in Santa
(04:42):
Anna called Melody Meats and in the back there was
you know, it was a typical butcher shop. They had,
you know, the different cuts of meat and all that.
But you've going to back and it was like this
back room as I remember it, and uh like a
little desk and there was a it was like a computer.
But this is before everyone had computers. And uh yeah,
(05:05):
you can get a an I D just whatever name
you wanted. They'd put that on there. Whatever your birthday
you needed was right there available, good to go. So man,
that was where I went. Those are always I'm more
a fan of those. But when you go to Boston,
Duncan Donuts is to go to um but of course
they're just dunking now. They got rid of the donuts.
(05:28):
But you have some some spots in Boston you'd like
to go to anyway, just the mom and pop shops. Yeah, yeah,
there's a few you know, pizza places and whatnot that
sant Tarpio's and East Boston that I got my guy
Vinnie Vinny recommended when he met him. Vinie and the
family over there at sant Tarpio's And there's a Boba's
Bakery is great on the North End. When when you
(05:51):
connected me with Blind Scott and he took me through
a seven or eight mile tour of Boston. He took
me to North End and I just remember that one
runaway on North End was pastries after pastries after it
just I just felt like I was thinking about the
North End. The North End of the Boston is. It's wonderful.
(06:12):
It's great. It's you know, the old part of Boston.
And you feel like, at least I did. I was
on like Main Street at Disneyland. It doesn't feel like
that's a real city because the streets so small and
the buildings are all close to each other and all that.
But then you have the older people just standing outside
with a cup of coffee, maybe a cigarette, just loungeing,
like not even warning about the days um schedule. It's eclectic,
(06:38):
eclectic group. You also have like the uh the meat
Head construction guys, and they're kind of mulling about, you know,
and I don't really know what they've got going on,
but they're kind of mulling about and all that. So
so you have that uh as as well. But I
don't believe I'll get to Boston this this time. We
have some other trips. When I start traveling again, I
gotta find a way to get to Minnesota. Gotta find
(07:00):
a way to get to Cincinnati. There's also a rumor
that I'll be making a Florida sojourn later this year.
That there's a trip, a family trip. So I like
to make family trips, work trips and have like you know,
if I go to a place and I have an
extra day hang out and meet I know you don't
(07:20):
like the unwashed gascon, but I enjoy hanging out with
the evil doers and the malle militia. I have. What's
that I said, I have family that lives in Florida.
On my apologies to you, I don't know why do
you move to Florida. You should go to Florida's cheaper
to live there, Taxes are better, the weather is not great,
but it's all right. I'm looking at the job market
out there. Yeah, why didn't you go to China like
(07:43):
I read to China that job by you know, I
would have been I would have been patient zero. Right, Well,
apparently it's not that big deal with economy, and China
keeps going up up in a way despite the United States. Yes,
shut it down, shut it down, shut it down, shut
it down anyway. All right, So on this edition of
(08:04):
the Fifth Hour we have Desperados, bug eyed and pop quiz.
It's not exciting content. Are you not fired up for
this content? I'm a little bit more fired up for
this content than the last couple of nights on the show.
I don't know what you're talking about. The show was
a wonderful show, was great my part. Anyway, you obviously
(08:26):
had some issues there, a little shot that you went
to the NHL basket of fun, and I am willing
to go to a scandal at any moment. I was
getting crap though, because they just the listeners now expect me,
the p ones, expect me to only talk about quarterbacks
and or coaches in the NFL and uh and nothing else.
And so when I when I go off the reservation.
(08:48):
It upsets me, like you believe that Megan Rapino story,
it was a great story. He got he got on
the podium and lied, and and we had proved a
federal judge had already ruled the women. Actually he got
paid more than the men soccer players. And there she
all there she is saying her lady parts cost her
money and all that, and people just repeat the lie
(09:09):
over and over as we had. We had a caller
on her bullshit. And and in the story with Tim Peel,
the hockey referee, was great because it's it's it's it's
always the cover ups, like well the NHL, the headlines
were the NHL fired the guy. They didn't fire the guy.
They didn't say they fired the guy. He just he
was gonna retire anyway. They gave him the retirement early.
(09:30):
They said, go away, that's it, you're done a month early.
He was gonna retire a month from now, as it was. Well,
the best part is is that you know someone like
Mega Rapino is going to be insulated and she will
be protected because God forbid if you if you do
criticize her or attack her for what she has falsely
said and stated from the White House, your misogynistic. The
(09:53):
women are always right unless they accused of Shaun Watson
of being a pervert. And then many people think that
the women are lying and that's all you know that
that's a whole different cant of this has to take
you to your show into week one of the season. Right,
this is gonna we're gonna ride this out, ride it,
ride it, ride it good, right good. But every day,
(10:14):
every day there'll be some other Jane Doe coming forward
and some nugget of information that guy Tony Buzzby is
a master man he is, that this has been orchestrated
where he's just a leak, leak, leak. Every day, here's
another wrinkle, and it just goes on and on and
on and on. I mean, the first thing I thought
of was Darren Sharper when all this stuff came down.
(10:35):
And obviously they're different circumstances because he was drugging women
and and traveling across state borders. But you know who
the funk brings in him a series from out of state. Well,
even if you were like DeShawn Watson, thing unravels because
even he said, okay, you know he needed a massage.
Wouldn't you settle, you know, outside of team facility, Like,
(10:57):
wouldn't you say, okay, why don't we settle on one
masseus and we'll just use that masseus and that'll be
the massus that we use, or maybe even two. I
could give you three, but sixteen it's I mean, the numbers,
the volume of accusers here. It paints the picture that
there was other stuff going on. And I go back
to the conspiracy that that we're hearing that one of
(11:20):
the theories the cabal has come up with here, that
is that this was all code language that uh, to
to stay a step ahead of the law, you can't
say I'm going to see a professional working woman. You
instead say I'm getting a massage, and uh, you know,
just happened to end up where the massage ended up
(11:43):
with my salami going places it wasn't supposed to go originally.
So here. So here's the thing. If you are Watson's attorney,
you have to play that's out a couple of different ways.
Wouldn't you be inclined to go on the attack and
start talking to these women. You can obviously talk to them,
but you could meet with their attorneys and say, hey,
(12:03):
we can pay you a certain dollar amount if you'd like,
but we're also gonna put the FBI on you because
if you've been doing this with our client, that you've
been doing with other men, and that means you're typically
getting paid in cash, which means the I R. S
Is gonna be straight up your ass now to look
at what kind of assets you do have and if
your liquid, they're gonna find that cash. If you're not,
we want to see deposits on your account. Yeah, well,
(12:26):
but they wouldn't argue, well, there's no paper trail, so
what are you gonna do? You know, no paper trail.
But yeah, if you're the attorney for Deshaun Watson, yea.
Based on what we know, and there's obviously stuff we
don't know, maybe there's more to the story that will
come out that will change everything dramatically. At this moment,
you go into damage control mode. You cut your losses,
(12:46):
and Deshaun is gonna based on what I've seen here,
he's gonna have to admit he was, you know, a
serial massage perv um, but it was all consentual. His
the argument, he's gonna have to make hething criminal happened here.
He's just a a single guy, and uh, he liked
getting his rocks off with different massage people. He liked
(13:07):
to meet random women on Instagram and get a massage.
And and you know, these were professional women. They knew
what they were getting into. This is what they do
for a living. And that's it. That's gonna make him
look like a creep. But it's it's that's to me,
that's the outcome. What else is the defense? You can't
say he didn't do it if there's a paper trail,
a digital paper trail on Instagram that carves you up
(13:29):
and you know, paints the picture that this ain't all
made up. You're meeting random, strange women. I'm guessing they're
all attractive women. I would think, right, at least he
found attractive, I would imagine, right, yeah, thatwise, why would
he click on their profiles and say, hey, I need
a massage. So here's the other question I was gonna
opposed to you. How do you play this out? If
you're DeShawn Watson's significant other? Do you go the Aaron
(13:51):
Hernande's wife route where you just stay in this no
matter what, through trial, through conviction, and through that payday
because he's not married. So I don't I don't think that.
I think that's just a breakup situation unless the woman
is just you know, some women that you know guys
are like this too, was power hungry. You know, you
know you're with a jock, and the jock sniffers, Oh,
(14:12):
he's a star quarterback, well right now, he's That would
be disinformation because he's not a star quarterback. Because he's
not a quarterback. Uh, he's not gonna be playing anytime
soon in the NFL. So there are a lot of
there's a lot of tentacles to this. You don't think
he plays Week one, No, no, this week one in
the NFL. I think he's suspended because this isn't gonna
be over by then. Uh. And even if he, let's
(14:33):
say that he does reach an n D a non
disclosure agreement with these women and we still get suspended.
They suspended Roethlisberger and Zeke Elliott, and there were you know,
Roethlisberger had a couple of situations where he was with
the Berbert and Zeke had one and the Zeke evidence.
(14:53):
We did a lot of monologues about that. We did
several monologues the evidence actually indicated that Zeke should not
have been suspen ended, and they still suspended him. So
good luck. He's not gonna play in week one. And
it is fun though, to look back at those comments
coming from Deshaun Watson's camp about how the Texans were
dysfunctional and they were the bad guys. He's going and uh,
(15:17):
playing touchy feely with every massage therapist he can get
his hands on. Yeah. Remember I think it was just
after the season ended. He had posted something on Instagram
or Twitter about getting away from everything and he was
on a boat with his with his girlfriend. Yeah, well
he got away from those massage therapists. Yeah, jeez man,
that man the masseuse is that now that the back
(15:40):
to the conspiracy theory. Part of the conspiracy theory was
the reason that he didn't pay the full amount is
because these were professional women. He knew he didn't have
to pay them. Yeah, so what are they gonna do.
They can't go to the police because their professionals is
what they do. And he you know, and he's the
star quarterback and there's nobody you know, they're just random
women he finds on on Instagram's fascinating we'll see if
that actually is what happened. So I got a couple
(16:03):
of things. I got Desperado. This is a video game
blues story. Now. I have mentioned in the past that
my michigas Uh, there's a word game that I have
been playing for like the last literally the last year,
probably a year and a half. And the reason I'm
paying playing that game, and the reason I've played that
(16:25):
game so much is it claimed that if you played
X number of games, they would they would pay you
money right to cash out, uh, And they give you
like a gift card, Amazon gift card or PayPal PayPal
you money, but you have to get to twenty dollars right.
So every every game you know you played, you rack
up some more credit, and you play like two hundred games,
(16:48):
you get a penny, right. So early on they give
you a lot of money so you'll play more. So
I've been playing this game for a year and a half.
To get I was like, I'm gonna get to the
twenty box, I'm gonna cash out and move on to
the next game. So the further along I got in
the scam, and I've now discovered it's a scam. The
(17:09):
further along I got the less money they gave. Like
originally it was like twenty cents for you know, fifty
games or whatever it was. And then as I got
closer and closer to pay dirt, it became play a
hundred and eighties something games and then we'll give you
one cent. So I'm like, okay, you're not gonna wear
me down. And they probably figured most people quit, you're
(17:31):
not gonna wear me down. Um, So it turns out
I got to nineteen dollars and nine nine cents and
I have now been hustled, scammed, bamboozled, hoodwinked, and let astray.
And I'm gonna name the game here. People at the
game is called word relax. Do not play the game.
(17:54):
Do not play the game. In my opinion, it's a scam.
It is a scam. The game world relaxed. And so
what happened was, um, there's a on the on the game.
There's a little like money symbol on the front of
the game, so you click on it and it would
give you your balance. It would tell you how much
money you've earned. But again you have to get to
(18:14):
twenty dollars to cash out. So I'm looking at my
my phone right now, this word game it's nine. Now
here's where the scam is. So up until you get
to nineteen dollars and ninety nine cents, it would tell
you you have to play X number of games to
get the next payout. Right, so if you were at
(18:35):
like nineteen dollars and ten cents, you gotta play two games,
you'll get another cent or whatever. They don't tell you
how much you're gonna get, but they'll tell you get something. Well,
as soon as I got to nineteen dollars and ninety
nine cents, what do you think disappeared? Gascon. Yes, the
total number that you need to play to get the
next payout, which you know, I thought, well, maybe that's
(18:55):
just a mistake and I could play two hundred more
games and they'll get the money. So I did a
little dude religion said little research, which I wish I
had done earlier. I went to the app store and
I started snooping around and apparently, um, I am in
line with other idiots and other suckers that have been
played and scammed by these people, because there's a whole
list of people that posted on the reviews in the
(19:19):
the app store there that Sam the same thing happened
to them. The first thing I see when I Google
is it says you'll never get any money. I'm at
level four oh one and I have seventeen dollars and
twenty cents. I've decided to play this game and see
how long it takes. But you don't make any real No, no, no,
it's a it's a scam, and I have I'm at
level six thousand and one and thirteen. I have played
(19:42):
over six thousand of these games to get to the
twenty dollar point, and I'm on the I'm right near
the finish line, and now they've they've pulled the rug
underneath me out from underneath. The silver lining is you're
you're now flush with with great vocabulary? Yes, it does,
it doesn't. Here's the other thing though, all right, Uh
(20:03):
would I be better off this way? Am I better
off this way? Where I got to nineteen dollars nine
cents and now I know I will not get to
the twenty dollars. I've wasted a year and of my time.
Or would I have been better off getting to the
twenty dollars and then having them not pay it off
because I've heard they've done that too. There's some people
that posted on the app store, well I did get
to the twenty dollars, but they never sent me the money.
(20:23):
I'd rather be at because you're efforting, you still continue
to play. I'm just polarized by how you got duped
into this. This is not the first time you've had
Tom Looney take you down a dark path in in
real estate and blind Scott with stocks, and now you've
done this to this. I'm too trusting, trusting, and I
(20:45):
talked to you last week about Cathy Wood and her
investments with with ARC and you said, we're not tailing her,
We're not telling anybody in the stock market. We're above
all that. We need to go off the beating bath.
Well yeah, because that's because a blind Scott take advice.
Some blind Scott, you know, like, what are you doing?
You didn't know what he's you know, come on, what,
(21:05):
I can't believe you. I'm here to help. I'm I'm
trying to to help you with with investments. Week. Here's
a guy I played a ton of games six thousand
and seven, So this guy's played six hundred and something
more games than I played. He says he's been at
nine earned for five hundred nineties seven games. Oh good, Oh,
(21:34):
what a bunch of scam artists. How does how does
Apple and these these phone companies allow that game in
their app store? How do they allow that? How do
they allow that? They advertised that you can make some money. Um,
they have, they have, they have a president taking off
those talking taking off those social media apps, and not that.
(21:54):
That's that's unbelievable. Yeah, that is, that is outstanding. I
guess the bigger question is is why are you hunting
for twenty on an app like that? Well, no, I
like playing word games. I thought, well why not, you know,
killed two birds with one stone. I like money, and
I figured twenty bucks, I can buy some cheap stocks
that pay divid ends and maybe they'll go up and
I'll make a little extra money. Money makes money, and
(22:17):
I end up getting hustle. Why not play some words
scramble with a friend and start gambling on words? I
like my Occasionally I have an extra five ten minutes here,
I'll play before I go to bed. I'll play, you know,
on the weekends I'm sitting around doing nothing at the
beach or whatever, and play the games. Yeah, that's it. Yeah,
A bunch of a bunch of hustlers got sucks. I mean,
(22:40):
I'm really piste off about it because I mean, he's
he's these unsavory characters behind these video games. Uh you
know it's it's the den of iniquity is what it
is here, the criminal activity. I'm sorry, all right? And
then I also have bug eyed. I wanted to mention
bug eyed here. Guess go on. So this week I
(23:02):
noticed there were some scratches on my bifocals that I
needed to upgrade that. So I I'm fine, whatever. I
hadn't gotten new eyeglasses in a while, so the uh,
the wife set up an appointment to get to last.
I wanted to keep the frames and change the lenses, right,
(23:23):
because that was the part that was scratched. The frames
are expensive, so she calls up the optometrist and sets
up an appointment. So the plan was to keep the frames,
as I said, replaced lens. So over the phone, the
people at the optometrist office looked up my prescription and
quoted my wife. I think it was like a hundred
(23:45):
and sixty five dollars for new lenses. I was like, okay,
that seems reasonable. That seems fair that seems good. I mean, uh.
And so I show up to the appointment to drop
off my glass. Now the eye doctors so freaked out
by the COVID that they locked the door. You have
to call them to let them know that you're there.
So I called them. Then I had to sit behind
(24:09):
a plexiglass and have my temperature taken before they would
allow me into the to the eye eyes. They're they're
taking every possible precaution imaginable for the COVID. So I'd like, fine, whatever.
So then I I sit down and uh, I right away,
my like a red flag went up because they said, well,
(24:32):
you know, you're gonna have to sign a waiver because
maybe we'll break the frames of your glasses. And so
that got my dander up. But I was like, okay,
you know, I understand. I mean, they just want to
cover themselves liability. Fine, uh, and I assume they do
this all the time, There'll be no problem. So then
they looked at my glasses. They looked at my chart,
(24:53):
and they then told me that I mean, they did
the math and they wrote it down and they said
that they changed the quote. They said that actually the
price for the glasses just the lenses, not the frames
was almost four hundred dollars. So again I'm quoted at one.
They come back with four hundred dollars. So after I after,
(25:16):
I ended up getting up from the floor. There be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Miller Show weekdays
at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports
Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Realizing, hey, this
is bait and switch here. They tell you one price
(25:38):
on the phone, you get there, I I go bug
eyed and I'm thinking, you know what, Yeah, I need
I need new glasses, new pair of specs and all that,
but I don't need four hundred dollars worth of glasses.
And I got up, I said thank you for your time.
I've changed my mind, and I walked out and I left.
So I'll be hitting up a Costco for some Kirkland
(26:01):
brand glasses next time I need I glasses. You know,
try to give you know, local optometrist, local eye doctor,
and opportunity for your business. And they they attempt to
scam you for an extra two hundred bucks. How often
do you get your eyes checked anyway? Uh? Usually every year.
I didn't get them checked last year because of the COVID,
but usually every year. When how often do you get
(26:22):
your How often do you get a physical? I never?
I used to never get physical. I've had a couple
of physicals now in recent years. Yeah, well I used
to never get them. You don't get an annual physical, no, No,
I never did until recently I did. I had sematical
had the gold gladder because of that stuff. So yeah,
I know my physical. Remember last year I told you
(26:44):
around Halloween time, I thought I had diabetes because I
had passed out from eating too much candy. So I
had I went and had blood work done and had
you know, the physical, and they were like amazed because
of my They claim because of my diet that a
lot of my my numbers had been proved. So just
last time I had a physical. It's crazy to think
because you've worked with guys like Steve de seger, Um
(27:07):
Lee Kleine, Prince of Darkness, Tony Bruno, these people, even
some of your listeners, they have seen you through four
different versions of you, like the big, the small, the skinny,
the gall bladder, the no gall bladder. You've got the transformation.
I was the more of the obese for a long time. Yeah,
(27:31):
I lost a lot of weight. Then I gained a
fair amount of the weight back, and now I've lost it. Yeah.
So I've as my my guy Jerry Callahan in Boston,
the radio guy says, we've had him on the podcast
The Yo Yo Dieter. But I'm pretty pretty good where
I'm at. I think I've maintained where I i've been.
Not that you see me every day, guess, but I
(27:52):
have maintained my lifestyle here, and I think I'm not
gaining weight. I'm still losing a little bit, and but
I'm managing it pretty well. I think that the most
dramatic photos I've seen of you are actually during the
holiday season. You're Santa Claus photos. Oh, yes, you don't
fill out anywhere, you know, I'm no longer a good
Santa Clause like that belt has to be actually tightened
(28:15):
a little bit more to go through. Now it's like, hey, mom,
why did Santa Claus lose weight? Oh, there's a hunger strike.
You went on a hunger strike and that's what Yeah,
Santa Claus doing cardio now all right. Uh oh, speaking
of Lee bought up Lee client. I got a call
from the Prince of Darkness. We were reminiscing because of
the passing of Elgin Baylor. We both had some great
(28:36):
stories about Elgin in his days as the Clipper executive
and Lee was really really pretty good friends with Elgin,
and through my relationship with Lee, I spent some time
uh in the shadows around the Clips and with Elgin.
Lee was the Clipper talk host post game host for
a while. And right, yeah, the morbid sports right now,
(28:58):
the Masoleum back in the day, and we we would
always before the draft of the put the lottery, Elgin
would come out and uh he always said like the
same four or five things, because what else you gonna say,
you know about the player they're gonna get. You know,
this guy's gonna help the team, and the future is
bright and all this stuff. And but the funniest night
(29:19):
I referenced this, I didn't really tell the story properly.
Maybe should get lead back on the podcast to tell
the story. But the night in Phoenix before Game seven
of the Clippers Sons playoff series and like oh five
or oh six, something like that. This is the Elton
Brand vintage Corey mcgetty vintage of the Clippers. And uh,
we we were there in Phoenix, were standing in Phoenix
(29:40):
because we were there to cover Game seven and uh
we drove. Actually the funny there's there's some very funny
parts of that story. We me and Lee drove from
l a to Phoenix for Game seven. Uh. And uh
we we get there to the to the hotel and
(30:00):
the Clipper bus shows up right we got there before
the Clippers got there, and the first person off the
Clipper bus was Clipper Daryl. We're like, what what the hell?
And apparently Darryll had gone to the airport to l
a X to wish the guy's good luck as they left,
and they said, hey, Wan want to come with us,
and so they put Clipper Darryl on the team plane.
(30:21):
Was he suited up to Yeah, he had the full
Clipper fan gear on the whole thing. And he came
off and he saw us and We're like, oh my god.
It was crazy. But we we were riding the elevator
at the Ritz Carlton in Scottsdale where they they were staying.
And uh, I will not reveal the name of the person,
but we we, but there was an associate, a guy
that worked for the Clippers who a low level guy
(30:43):
that was in the elevator and was going to Donald
Sterling's private v I P floor at the very top
of the rich Carlton. Uh. This is like we're heads
of state, stay dignitaries and my Michael Jordan. To get
the entire floor, you have a special car to get
access to it. The so he say, you want you guys,
wanna you wanna get somebody eat? Uh, you know I
(31:04):
got I'll take you up to the v I P
thing I got access to. So of course, you know,
of course we want to check it out. So we
go up there and the guy invites us out and
there's like this whole wall of uh like shellfish, high
end seafood buffet and uh, all for one one person,
Donald Sterling, and he's walking around in his pajamas and
(31:25):
all this stuff and uh but Elgin was up there,
Elgin Baylor and his wife and so we go over
there and and Lee starts striking up a conversation with
Elgin and then like Sterling his name came up, and
Lee starts like trashing Donald Sterling to to Elgin right
(31:47):
if whatever the issue wasn't the day. I don't remember what,
but he's like ripping him, and like Lee is facing
Elgin and his wife are sitting on the couch and
I'm standing next to Lee. Lee's face racing the wall
and the couch. Elgin looking out can see the main
area of this luxury suite where people are, you know,
(32:09):
the courtyard if you it's a big it's hard to
describe it. There was a main room and then there
were a couple of side rooms. It was. It was
a V I P luxury penthouse. And so he's he's
looking out and Lee is telling his BS story about
about about Sterling, and Elgin's wife starts doing the kill
sign because she saw Sterling and and then Elgin realizes
(32:32):
and Elgin is like trying to do that. It was
so fun and we didn't know why they were doing that.
It was, as I remember it, it was very very
amusing there. It was very amusing. We have pop quiz.
You want to do a little bit of pop quiz?
All right? Here we go. Pop quizzies are things I
found scouring the internet, and we do that every Saturday.
(32:53):
We call it pop quiz because I like oddball, weird
things and they find them interesting. Well, any of this
include a Kamala Harris Bill Clinton Convention on Women's empowerment.
That's all you, that's all you, my man. I know
you're on that Kamala bandwack. So I don't want to
interrupt the President in waiting, right, President in waiting? Someone
(33:14):
said the actual president right now? Who knows. I'll circle
back to that. How about that? Is that what you said?
The White House? I'll circle back to that, all right.
In viewers watched nearly nineties seven billion minutes of the
television program Friends, which classic TV show came in next
with just over fifty eight billion minutes watched in Friends
(33:39):
was number one? What was number two? I think, man,
I'm gonna say it was either one of these two.
I think it's I Love Lucy, I Love Lucy, okay,
or or Mash two? Oh damn for two? Would you
like to try again, Star Trek, that's a good one.
(34:03):
Uh no, No, we don't have a Missmash or mixed
match or whatever. Blair says. This is a nineteen sixties
TV show. Man, Do do Do Do? Do? Do? Not
gonna dragnet is? Do do Do Do Do Do Do
Do Do Do Do Doo Doo doo doo doo doo. Nope. Uh.
It featured Ron Howard, Don Nots and a guy by
(34:25):
the name of Andy Taylor better known as Andy Griffith
Andy Griffith Show. I totally thought it was I Love Lucy. Yeah,
I never got into the Andy Griffith Show. I watched
I Love Lucy when I was a kid. A little
bit of mash. Explain that to me, because this is
(34:46):
the streaming numbers right er was watched, So I would
think these are older people that love the Andy. Is
there a younger generation that's fallen in love with Maybury?
And I am my fa getting something here? Am I? Am?
I missing something about this? But what about Well maybe
because those shows are also on other channels to like
c W or some of those other cable channels that
(35:11):
are are partnered with, are they subsidiarias of like a
CBS or an NBC or a Fox. Is that possible?
I get I don't know. It doesn't get in the
specifics here, but that's uh. Andy Griffith, you think Friends
and Andy Riffis show if you had to bring back
Seinfeld Cheers, you think all the great shows that have
been on over the years. But if you had to
(35:31):
bring back a show from the eighties, what would you
bring back? Because I was always like a Mr. Belvedere,
the Golden years, growing pines, I like Cheers, I like Yeah,
I like those cheesy early eighties, late seventies. Yeah. Um
like Chips with Pontorella. They try to bring that back.
It was a disaster. There's a TV show called Emergency,
(35:53):
remember that. Yeah? I like writers night right, All Night
Writer is a good one. Michael Knight, Magna p i
um not bad. Watch the Magnum p. I remember Fantasy Island,
the Plane, the Plane, Bosley Blade, oh Man, good Man,
good classic TV. Al Right about people say they never
(36:15):
do this while driving, while thirty say they do this
all the time, texting. No, this is something I do
when I'm driving. Um, I don't text while driving, guest,
because I've done p s as on that. You should
not do that. Flush flash your teeth. No use cruise control. Yeah,
(36:36):
well we live pretty far away from work, so yeah,
I love cruise control. My wife hates cruise control. Well,
you said you specifically said it at seventy nine, don't you. Yes,
because I was told by a highway patrol officer that
as long as you're seventy nine are under, I will
not write a ticket. It's eighty and above you can
get a ticket. And ever since then, I have not
gotten a ticket for going. I can go seventy nine.
(36:59):
That's my limit. I'm good and I don't have to
worry about getting a ticket. At least I haven't got
a ticket doing that. So that's what I do. Uh.
New report says the average person is four times more
likely to buy this on Sunday Sunday Sunday than any
other day of the week. What are they buying? It's
(37:22):
kind of become part of American culture to do this
on Sunday Americana alcohol kiss cony. Have you ever heard
of blue laws? Guess god, have you heard of blue laws? No?
What are blue laws? You don't know what blue laws are?
(37:45):
What are blue laws? And your dad ran the l
A p D. You've never heard of blue laws? No,
it's essentially they ban they prohibit the sale of alcohol
on on on Sunday. So yeah, there you go. Utah
obviously is uh yeah, like all over the Bible Belt,
which is like twenty one states are actually in the
(38:06):
Bible Belt. Did you know that there's actually twenty one
states that the people think of the Bible Belt only
as below the Mason Dixon line. But I actually was
explained this years ago by a program director because we
know in case they we'll get in trouble, will step
on some toes for people on the Bible Belt with
with content and but the traditional Bible Belt is like Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Uh, Tennessee,
(38:34):
South Carolina, Oklahoma, that part. But you also have parts
of Florida, like the the Panhandle of Florida right there.
They call it the Redneck Riviera. Um, you've got parts
of that. There's parts of Iowa, parts of Indiana, parts
of Kansas, obviously, Utah, uh, parts of New Mexico, parts
(38:55):
of Ohio is a ton and they're not all just
buried down in the south. They're spread out. I've never
heard of it put like that blue laws. I've only
heard of it as a Sunday law. You've never Okay, well,
I I've always known about the blue I'm more educated
(39:15):
and new gift guns want to pay. I'm just a
bad Catholic. That's a bad job by you. I thought
you of all people with the blue laws, and you'd
be all over that. It was one of the jokes
about playing. The Jazz to this day will not play
games on Sunday. Uh say sometimes in the playoffs. I
don't even think they do it in the playoffs. Yeah,
because you know the jokers. You go to Salt Lake
(39:38):
on the weekend, you gotta drink milk. Well, Sandy Kofax
didn't pitching a World Series game because it was on
a Sunday. Well it was. It was because of the
Jewish holiday. It wasn't because yeah, it just happened to
be on a on a Sunday. Anyway, all right, here
we go. What's next year? Any me? Any money? Mo? Uh?
The the I mean, answer the question. I think I
(39:59):
answered the question. You were still got so distracted by
your answer. Yeah. The thing people buy more on Sunday
than any other day of the week. Breakfast, you know,
Sunday breakfast brunch type of thing. That's a tradition. That
that's a tradition in America. Yeah, all right. A new
survey asked people to name their favorite things inside their home.
(40:20):
The bed. It was the most common answer what was
numbered two? We're Americans, I'd probably say it's some bullshit
like a TV. No, not the coffee maker. No, not
the coffee do um. Refrigerator, yes, refrigerator. Now do you
(40:41):
have is your refrigerator two doors or do you have
a top at the bottom for your freezer? Um, we've
got a massive refrigerator here. It's two doors up top
and then two drawers down low. It actually, yeah, it's
got water. The ice thing hasn't worked in the like
a couple of years. It actually looks better than it
(41:03):
actually functions. The refrigerator. Uh. The the company that made
the refrigerator, let's just say they're better at making television
than you are refrigerators. No, I'm not not very good
at that. Nearly one out of ten weddings this year
will feature this. What is it? A um? Ah, I
(41:27):
don't want to say Mariachi band? Mariachi. It's pretty random.
Uh No. The correct answer A pet? Jesus pet, you're
not married, Guestcan you know you could meet somebody and
then you want to get married, and then you gotta
walk down the aisle with fighter Never happened. You get
annoyed when you go to restaurants and people people bring
(41:49):
their their pets in. Um. The thing that annoys me
is when I know it's bullshit. You know, you can
kind of tell when they're actually required. I get it.
If you need uh, you know you're you need a
traditional service dog, I get it, But you can tell
there's that Usually it's an old to stereotypes like I'm
a middle aged older woman lonely and she's got her
(42:10):
SHIPSU as her emotional support dog, which you know is
not really what the laws are designed for. But she's
carrying the thing around. Yeah, uh, what else do you? All? Right?
A new survey asked adults to name something they miss
about their childhood. This was the most common answer, What
is it? Cartoons? Not school holidays? Now, see, isn't that
(42:36):
great when you're a kid, Like the excitement spring break
or you know, long holiday weekend because of some fugazy
teacher in service day or California every day is a
holiday kids. Kids aren't allowed to go to school these days,
So I know I would do so well in this
zoom school. I can lay in bed and seven percent
of adults say they sleep with this What is it?
(42:57):
Minor only got her guest gun a m. How about
a radio. I wish it was more than seven percent.
That's not the answer. It's got to be more than
seven percent. Radio on in the background. Great thing, go
to sleep, radio on in the background. This is actually
something I think you do. Guess you sleep with this,
That's what I hear. I think it was justin and
(43:18):
Cincinnati that said this what a bottle? A bottle? No,
a stuffed animal? Stuffy? Don't you have stuff? Were those?
Did you ever own or have any of those beanie
bears back in the days? I they were a little
after my my heyday of my youth, but I did
(43:38):
have some that were given to me, like I I
got it going to Dodger Angel games as giveaways because
those are there was a frenzy on those being super
expensive to write on the resale market. They were getting
priced at like three or four or five dollars a pop. Yeah,
well that would be the fat right. It was fat
not a trend. There's a big, big difference there. Yeah,
(44:01):
I just short lived. But you know the cabbage Patch dolls,
fidget spinner spinner, remember that was a couple of years ago. Yeah,
I just remember that because we were talking last week
I think about baseball cards and selling or getting them
priced out, and what would you depart with them? So, yeah,
I want to see if those n f t s,
those non fungible tokens are a short term situation or
(44:23):
they Jack Dorrisey sold his first one for I think
two and a half million dollars. These guys all there's
a term they use on Wall Street that all these
celebrities must be all saying to each other, get that
dumb money, right, I mean, you get that dumb money
as fast as you can get it, And that's that's
what they're doing. There's a lot of dumb money out there.
(44:46):
Os and their money are soon parted or something like that,
all right. A new survey asked people to name something
they keep in their junk drawers. Rubber bands was the
most common answer. What was number Do paper clips? Yeah?
I would have thought paper clips too, But no birthday candles?
Birthday candles? Yeah? Why the funk would you hold on
(45:08):
to birthday can? I don't know why? Well, hold on?
Do you keep old Christmas bags just for repackaging? I
tried to, but the wife attempts to get rid of
of all people she does. Yeah, what what do you
mean of all people, Because she's the hippie, she's the recycler,
she's all about recycling the world. Yeah, but the clutter
(45:32):
and all that. And I listen, I learned from going
through my parents house it's probably better to get rid
of the stuff. Now, wait till you die and somebody
else has to get rid of it. You know. It's uh,
you know, it seems like but you're not taking any
of the crap with you anyway, so you might as
well get rid of it now. I just think for
repackaging purposes that would make sense. Right, Someone gives you
a bag, something in a bag, and you just keep
it for your gifts. Now, what do you do about
(45:53):
like cards? When you get an actual like a Hallmark card,
you hold onto those? Oddly enough, I keep my cards
for long time. Yeah I do too. Yea, all right, Uh,
let's see your page down, page down, page down. About
twenty of us admit to having one of these, even
though it probably doesn't work, and we know it doesn't work,
(46:16):
but we still admit to having a BlackBerry. Now, a
good luck charm, a good luck check, a token. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
if you I'm like that. I got a few things
that I keep, the trinkets that I hold on to
for for good luck. Do you have a good luck number?
(46:36):
Not really a number per se? What about you? I
usually kept my football number eighty four and it was
uh was a fan of number seven with with John
Ellie growing up, So probably why I'm a fan of
playing craps. Right, sevens and elevens rose the payouts. Did
you you win money at craps? Yeah, I'm good at craps,
(46:58):
craps and black So really I don't really know how
to play craps. My experience with craps, though, it is
just I'm just piggyback. I'm a piggyback guy. I go
to the table, see who's hot, and just whatever that
bet is boom. Well, I think the fun thing about
craps is that if you put money on on the
past line is you can you can put money to
(47:19):
back that up after and you could put four times
the dollar amount. Some tables it's five times the dollar amount,
so you can really balloon your your money up and
then obviously people fading the table. What's the most you
wanted craps? But so did you have to fill out
then the no, No, it took a long time to
(47:40):
get to that dollar amount because I don't I don't
fade the table, but I play what's called it don't
come line at times, and so it's actually, ah, that's
actually a rule to Shaun Watson. Should happen anyway, go ahead,
it's all about But yeah, sometimes if there's a cold table,
you want to fade the shooters, and so I'll bet
(48:02):
that or I'll play against the number that doesn't get rolled.
But yeah, it takes a while to build up that
kind of bankroll. I had a buddy of mine that
was down to his last fifteen dollars on a craps
table and at the hard Rock Cafe or hard Rock
Cafe Harrod Casino, and within twenty minutes he was up
five thousand dollars. It took him just a blink of
(48:23):
an eye. But it comes and goes that fast if
you start playing every single option on that board. So well,
the thing too, like you if you're gambling, you wanna
win enough but not go to where they give you
the tax form to fill up. Yeah, there's that fine
line at the casino where you wanna you know, you
(48:44):
want to go a certain way, but you want to
win some money, but obviously you don't want to go
over the number because then you got pay. Not that
people would ever be, you know, doctoring their taxes because
that would be wrong. But at least it gives you
the freedom to move some things around. But you're susceptible
at slots for that when you're playing on the table
as you're not because if you're playing for a specific
(49:05):
amount of time, they can rate you depending on your action,
but they don't know the total count of money going
in and going out all the time. Yeah, and there's
some tricks you can do as far as kind of
when you win a certain amount, you know, pull it back,
lower your bed and all those kind of things that
they're just basic, basic things. Yeah, that's the mistake most
people make with gaming money management. That's uh, that's why
(49:26):
we've taken our money from the casinos into the stock market. Yes,
buckle say, I've taxed me anyway. So my guy in
Baltimore is trying to get me to get bitcoin. I'm like, no,
I don't want any bitcoins. No, it's a fifty thousand,
it's gonna go to a hundred thousand. You know, he's
convinced it's gonna go to a hundred thousands, so he's
desperately trying to He said, just put a couple of
hundred bucks and you'll make you double your money. You know,
(49:49):
it's like a cult man, a bitcoin thing. Do you
have any Bitcoin? I do not. I think it bullshit
a few times that I'm a pilot about some of
the investments with the airlines because Boeing has been and
no pun intended, but up and down over the last
year year and a half. But they were they were
getting their ass handed to them back in Yeah. So
(50:10):
the assumption they talked about playing the stock market, the
assumption for the simpleton is now that commerce is starting
to resume and by the end of the year, hopefully
things will be back to somewhat normal. Uh and hopefully
sooner than that that people will start traveling and so
by stock in the different airlines and the hospitality hospitality
(50:31):
hotels and whatnot. And we'll see if that actually happens.
We'll see. Yeah, I believe it when it when it
takes place. Of couple say their first important discussion after
getting married was about blank kids. No, who's doing the laundry? Yeah?
I was doing the laundry. I'm pretty easy. I throw
(50:52):
everything I have into one load. Doesn't matter if it's
colored or if it was you know, whites, temperature and
cold water. I'm gonna go man, all right, Uh yeah,
you know. I I do the dishes. The wife usually
does a laundry, but she she waits for like laundry
day and does it, and I like more if I
(51:15):
if I do the laundry, I'll do it occasionally, you know,
I just do it whenever. You know. I can see
more as a paper plate kind of guy anyway, So me, Yeah,
a little gamesmanship. Nah, I I washed. I watched the plates.
I'm a great dishwasher. That's my future to tell you
some of this radio thing when they start listening to
the show and realizing it sucks, I'm moving over to
the dishwashing game. I'm in very cathartic of you to
(51:37):
wash dishes and watch splints. Yeah, when it comes to dinner,
eighteen percent of people say they never do this. What
is it? Tip? Now? Watch TV during dinner? M I
watched TV during dinner quite a bit. Yeah, I have
a problem with it. What's wrong with that? What last one?
(51:57):
What in six people say they forgot to do this
on a or they forget to do this rather on
a daily basis. Rush their teeth. No drink water. Drink water,
makes sense? What's up with that? All right, that's it.
We'll put the baby to bed and we've got the
mail bag on Sunday. If you enjoy this podcast. If
(52:19):
you're a fan of this podcast, please review the podcast
The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard podcast. If you go
to the Apple podcast page also I Heart the I
Heart podcast page, or just i Heeart Radio i heeart
dot com, you can find a place to the very
bottom there to review the podcast and subscribe and you'll
(52:40):
get the podcast downloaded right to your phone whenever you
want to hear it on the weekends and tell a
friend there's a cult following here to the Fifth Hour.
And we we need an we we love round numbers,
so we need another about twenty five or so ratings
to get to the next big round number, Burt, to
get to the next big round number. So if you
(53:03):
want to help us out on that, that would be great.
There and you can review the podcast on Apple Podcasts
and whatnot. To have a great rest of your Saturday
and we'll chat you What's Chat with You on Sunday.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be
(53:23):
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app
Host
Ben Maller
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