June 27, 2021 • 44 mins
If only the rest of the militia could be as successful, bright, and coherent as the man operating above the clouds.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you've thought more hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats track
heads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes.
Break Free for Something Special Hour with Ben Maller starts
(00:25):
right now that it does. We are in the air
everywhere bluviating your Sunday away another mail bag. We do
this eight days a week because four hours a night
are not enough, clearly, and we thank you for finding
(00:46):
I hope you enjoyed the Travelog podcast on Saturday, the
Squirrel Whisper and some hot German football talk from Gas.
We got so long winded on that we did not
have time to get to pop Quiz or Scientifical. But
West of the four five guests on is back again
for the Sunday. No need for the crowd. Thank you.
But you're with I'm a pilot putting us on blast
(01:08):
last week. And since you love to you know, live
in the kitchen and I'm doing German football, European football,
what about this schnitzel? Yeah? What if you make your
own schnitzel. The German food I love is the pretzel. Yeah,
I don't know about the schnitzel. Man, that would be,
(01:30):
although I do like that it's a thin slice of meat.
As you know, I I cannot eat meat unless it's
thinly sliced and it's crusted and it's pounded, which is good. Yeah,
I mean I could, I could do schnitzel. I make
my chicken like that, right. I don't want meat. I
don't know about that, but schnitzel's wonderful because it's fried.
(01:51):
It's thinly sliced, breaded and fried, and you can never
have enough of it. Yeah. So I is there a
certain kind of meat you're supposed to put in the
schnitzel or it can be any kind of I don't
know rules. Yeah, I don't know. It's a good question. Yeah,
I'm sure we'll get blasted for it. Now. I have
some bad news with the mail bag. Bad news really well,
(02:14):
it's bad for some and it's good for others. The
fact that we're doing the mail bag earlier than we
normally do the mail bag. No no, no, no, no no. Um.
I'd like, are we doing this by the way early
for next week. Also is that the is that the
plan here is that No, we're not okay, but it
has to do with you know, the following days and
the following weeks. Um, I needed to point you to
(02:37):
your your cell phone right now because there's there's this
text message you're going to receive with some interesting notes. Um.
What you'll see on that said text message, Ben will
be podcast download numbers from last week's episodes where you
purposely told your audience last Saturday to tank the Friday show. No,
(03:00):
I didn't tell them, and I had the audio proof
from that. Well, I have no way of verifying whether
we're not going through a stage sanctioned audit. This thing
is all upright, and if you look at that, it'll
see and listen, four thousand more downloads Saturday. I think
(03:20):
it's not it's less than four thousands. It's less than
four thousand. And we open up the mail bag and
all the people upset complaining where were you been? Why
weren't you there? We had to listen to some you know,
some guy from the Broncos and guesscon where were you?
You want to go through those emails and we here's
(03:43):
the problem. We have the Mailbag does does very well,
although this this past week not as well. The audio
was not great on the mail Bag. That's year fault
on that. But but yeah, more here's the thing on
audio content. More people listen on Friday, less people listen
it on Saturday and Sunday. It's just the way it is.
People are out doing things on Saturday and Sunday. On Friday,
(04:06):
people are more willing to listen to the podcast. But
if I was really if I was really motivating, that
was a throwaway line at the end of the podcast. No. No,
if I was trying to make a statement, I would
have began the podcast by saying, you know, listen to me.
Don't listen to it. But what's the point of doing
on a Saturday. If people are already going to listen
to the podcast on a Friday, and you know it
(04:28):
would have been on Friday. You should have been the
one saying, don't listen to bet on Saturday. Listen to
me on Friday. That would have been more effective. It
was just a joke. Guest, you are so sensitive, you
are such a delicate little flower, because I mean, how
dare you? I was it was a joke. I was,
I was having fun at the end of a podcast.
If my motivation was to get people to listen this
(04:50):
podcast on Saturday, on this obviously Sunday podcast, but the
Saturday podcast instead of the Friday podcast, it would have
been ridiculous to do it at the very end of
the Saturday podcast. And I'm happy you brought that up
because I haven't seen a big man like you on
roller skates in a long time, and now that you're
on roller skates, I will let you. Since I am
a caretaker of the said podcast, I carefully edited those
(05:15):
carefully crafted jokes out of the podcast, right right to
that head. And no idea that right? Is that right?
Is that right? You asshole? You piece of shit? Is
that correct? Fuck you? Wow? Snowed under yet again? Cast
(05:37):
your eyes on Judas right over there. My god, the
podcast is recorded live to air, live to air, and
your phony but that is a traitorous act, all right?
How dare you betrayal? You get By the way, there
(06:05):
were people pissed, you know they were. They were more
upset I missed the radio show, but then the podcast also,
Oh my god, how could you miss the podcast? You're
supposed to jump in with both feet on the podcast.
Every podcast would like when you had your gallbladder removed
and people are piste off the ear. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was in the hospital having major surgery because I
(06:27):
gall bladder was all messed up because I waited wait
too long and they were busting my balls at work.
You didn't exactly run over to see me. By the way,
guests gun you know over. They want to point that out.
You know you were not forbidden, you know, uh alright. Anyway,
we have the mail bag. These are actual questions sent
(06:48):
in by actual listeners like yourself, submitted via Facebook on
the Facebook page Ben mall Or Show or Real Fifth
Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail
dot com and oh wait we go. First mail bag
question comes from I'm a pilot in parts of now
and he says hello from sunny Tel Aviv. I guess
(07:11):
we know where he is then It's probably mid eighties,
perfect weather and a stark difference to my previous Sydney
Prisons day. Because before I get into that, I just
want to say congrats Bend on the home sale. Well,
thank you for that. I'm a pilot it has been
several months in the making on that. He says, I
(07:32):
will try to keep this compact as possible. So he
gives us the travel log, the I'm a pilot travel log,
which is all he doesn't fly around, he says. So
the flight to Sydney, he claims his fourteen to fifteen hours.
It's the same to Tel Aviv. So he goes to
Sydney first and globally, I'm a pilot still dealing with
all the COVID protocols and all that. He says. The
(07:55):
had a COVID test prior to departure. Flight goes south
of Hawaii around the equator. He mentions the Christmas Island
some other island I've never heard of, since there's this
area called the I t z Z, the inner Tropical
conversion Zone. Have you ever heard of that the tropical
I haven't either, He says. It's where the north and
(08:18):
south trade winds meet. Usually it's pretty gnarly storms up
to fifty thousand plus feet, bumpy ride, et cetera. Gotta
weave through all that and head up or head on
down towards Pago Pago on the way to Sydney. Arrive
early morning, sit for thirty minutes to deep plane because
(08:40):
we are now in the New South Wales and they
will only process what arrival at a time due to COVID.
According to I'm a pilot, lot of red tape, a
lot of bureaucracy us. So they deep plane, he says,
has to wait in a hall for one hour, so
the plane is landed, half an hour on the plane
hour way eating for someone in full hasmat suit. They
(09:03):
come get you, says security, then escorted you to process
for arrival instructions. He says, there were nurses there and
there were mean ones that would take your temperature, criticize
the mask wearing procedures that they were doing. Uh and uh,
(09:25):
he said, given instructions how to properly wear masks. Told
we were not allowed to leave the hotel room, handed
them papers one of five sheets of paper with passport, name,
arrival and departure information. I'm a pilot, and say said,
walked fifty feet, handed the papers a two sheet too
(09:45):
with info, signed something. He's giving every detail. By the way,
guests gun here. He's very detailed, orient saying I'm not
going anywhere, so he had to sign off these not
going anywhere. He was escorted to the passport an immigration
area where there were you know, sheet number three clear customs.
Then have to take another COVID test. Just took one
(10:09):
sixteen hours ago, he says, so he's taking another one.
I'm a pilot, says as he traveling around the globe.
Here the globe trekker. Give the door hallway, where to
we find out where we will be staying. There's two hotels.
Government selects, no choice. You don't gonna choose which hotel
you stay at. The door opens. Pilots get on one bus.
(10:30):
Flight attendants. I guess they're segregated. They go on another
bus going to the same location. Though that's odd, so
it says, going to the same location. Uh. The email continues.
He says, at a hotel, police escorted in two at
a time. The same has met people with z papers, questions,
(10:51):
temperature check shown, room number, escorted to another office. Shown paper.
I have to show the paper with the number room
we're on. It punches the elevator button as apparently if
if I'm a pilot, says, if I touched it, the
world would end. Yeah, it's a little a little too much.
Email continues. He says, get off on the floor. And
(11:12):
yet another police officer in a Hasma and a Hasmat person,
show the paper with the room number and they let
you in. Can only open the door to retrieve food
that is brought at a scheduled time. This sounds like China. Ship,
This doesn't sound Where is this done? He's in? Where
was he here? Sydney right, sounds like it sounds like China.
(11:34):
Uh so, he says, only able to retrieve the food
that has brought in his schedule. Times, no selection. Once
you hear a knock, wait thirty seconds, put on a
mask and open get food. Immediately closed the door, he says.
Fun times food was met. The worst part, I'm a pilot, says,
was in the morning. I just wanted some eggs, Nope,
(11:54):
corn flakes and something that resembled apple strudel. I don't
have a problem with apple strudal. I'm a pilot. I
kind of like the apple strutal. If it's hot, though
it's really hot, that's the problem. Uh it's it's great.
So I I have coffee and bite into the thinking
Biden is thinking apple strudal. It was actually some curry
(12:18):
meat pastry. Holy ship, that's disgusting. Can't wait to go
home process all repeats on way back, says, Sydney sucks.
Sydney Australia sucks. They just use our archaic British rules
and make them more jacked up so they can call
it their own. So then he goes to Tel Aviv
(12:41):
gives us the story on that just takes off over Canada.
So they fly over from tell Aviv. From Sydney, they
fly to get to tell Aviv. They take off over Canada, Greenland, Iceland, Sweden, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, Turkey, Cypress, Israel.
Only thing is you have have You have to call,
(13:01):
he says, tel Aviv Airspace early to get permission to enter.
Usually the handoff is from each center. But Turkey and
Israel don't talk to each other, of course, not even
though they're right near each other. So you have to
do that. Land get off. Everything is a process. Automatic
scan the passport head out easy, he said. And they
(13:24):
just lifted the mask wearing mandates. In Israel, everything is open.
Anything happening is towards Palestines border. Nothing happening in Tel
Aviv except sun and fun. And he says, uh, He's
I'm a pilot, two very different places, vastly different experiences.
But can get the Ben Maller and Gascon show anywhere shalom,
(13:49):
He says, I'm at. I feel like we need to
do one dedicated episode for him, just something. He calmed down.
I know you want to suck the toe. He's in
transit to some of these foreign lands. Just draconian, just awful.
I get it. I just listen. I I like I'm
(14:10):
a pilot. He's been a hat benefactor. He's been very
kind and supported the show for some reason. He claims
to like you a little too much. But no one's perfect.
Patricia writes in from Lost Wages, Nevada and says, what
exactly is so important that Mr West of the four
oh five cannot be there on the regular podcast. I'm
asking for a friend. Oh my gosh, you want to
(14:33):
answer Patricia's question? Vegas? You no, alright? Uh, Patricia, he
is rejecting. Well, I think he's a legitimate question. Mess
messes up my schedule, messes up the listeners schedule. What
messes up my schedule too? Very rude? I agree by you.
It's Rick from San Ramon who says that collapse on
(14:57):
part of the jazz the other day. It's like last
week now it was epic. I said, I'm not a
Clipper fan, but that was a gutsy performance by your team,
Rick says Sands Kauai. Good luck to your boys the
rest of the way. PS Clay's back next year and
the Dubs are gonna make a move on an impact
(15:18):
veteran in free agency, court Rick, the West will belong
to the Dubs one last time before the greatest shooter
on the planet retires. There you go. So I did.
I did win steak dinner backing your team when they
were down O two. You're welcome, welcome. It's all right.
(15:38):
Have you cashed that in yet? I'm gonna wait on that.
But I did take my shots at George Rice stir
and uh yeah, he will not spare any expanse on that.
That's that's gonna be a nice steak dinner. Good. Yes,
you got your shots? Huh? I did? I did down
oh two and they came back, got on their horse
and won it. It's last job, Fred from Spring Texas, right, since,
(16:02):
says are you and gascon dog or cat people? I'm
I'm a dog person. You're a squirrel person. Well, I'm
a squirrel person. I'm I like to feed the ducks
and the geese at the park. I'm like an old guy.
I just I like to feed animals. Now, you watch documentaries,
Do you ever watch like nature shows, andything like that? Yes,
(16:23):
I do. I like those that use drone footage and show,
you know, different parts of the world forests. They go
into the forest, or they'll go to the really arctic
parts of the world. Or there was a documentary was
on Netflix a while ago about the oceans. Yeah, I
like those. Well, the reason why I ask is because
his question says, are you dog or cat? I've been
(16:44):
watching a lot of Instagram videos now of these guys.
Those are beautiful, bodacious women. Those aren't dogs and cats.
Are there are these guys? Now? I'm not not now,
but like there's guys out there that are are hanging
around like huging, rolling around the dirt or the grass,
the wildlife with lions and tigers sometimes wolves. I just
(17:09):
I mean, it's it's crazy to see, you know, two
d plus pound animals and these guys that just have
no regard for anything else. These are wild animals obviously
that they're able to uh to bondle with. That's pretty fascinating. Well,
never underestimate the power of cloud chasing, trying to get
(17:29):
your fifteen minutes of fame, the unnecessary drama. No, these
guys like take care of these these lions. And really,
I thought you were telling me there were people on
instant the way you made it seem like there were
people trying to get people to like them on Instagram. No, no, no,
these guys were like legit trainers and so they yeah,
they well, they've always been that. I remember when I
was a kid, I remember seeing videos, like actual VHS
(17:53):
videos of I think it's in Malaysia. There have been
families there that have had pet allega eaters or you
know whatever. Yeah, and so that that's like the family pet.
You have a dog I have, maybe you're a cat person,
maybe you have a chicken or a pig, and they
have a pet alligator. That's time to go to bed.
Make sure you put the alligator in the bed. I mean,
(18:15):
come on, that's crazy, nuts, right, yeah, alligator. Eric and
Olmaha says jeans khakis or sweatpants. Uh, sweatpants, sweatpants jeans,
Lee writes in From the Valley of the Sun. He
says hamburger or pizza and uh, fun gag on. He says,
(18:40):
did you spell any of that right? A couple of
he got that one. A couple of words messed up there.
That's hamburger pizza. That's tough, A well made burger. Yeah,
pizzas to me multidimensional. You get the toppings change on
the topics on a burger change too. But I'll go
pizza and you can have cold pizza. You can't have
(19:00):
a cold burger, That's true. You gotta eat it fresh.
Blind Emmett, the Seahawk fan and Olympia Washington says, have
you guys thought about getting the great John Ramos? On
the fifth hour podcast Our Our Mexican Philip rivers, Wow,
I got a lot of kids. Man, What what's wrong
with that? Man? Is your family? Man? Wrong with that?
(19:21):
Ramos is an l a radio ledge, It's not an amateur. Now.
I was bragging to John Ramos when I moved to
the Halfway House, and I had to deal with John
and the the engineering staff, Curious and the other guys
on the engineering side. I had to get the studio
set up, of course I had to do it myself, uh,
and and move everything and make sure everything was still connected.
(19:41):
The way it was supposed to be connected. As you know,
I'm an expert my FCC. I had my FCC license
when I worked at the college station back in the day. Anyway,
so I'm talking to Ramos and I'm like, see, I'm like,
you know, an amateur engineer just like you, and I
know I'm a professional engineer. Let you take that subtle
shot at him. No, that was not my intention. That
(20:02):
was not my intention to take a subtle shot at him.
I was merely pointing out that I was proud of
myself that we actually got this to work, even though
I had to do a week back at the mother
Ship and and all that. But I'd love this. It's
up to me, blind Emmett. I would put many of
the support staff the meat and potatoes of a Fox
Sports radio. I would happily put these people on. In fact,
(20:25):
we are going to have at some point ask a
Vegan will be on the podcast. Alex Tisher will be
on the podcast. I promised him a podcast experience. Now,
he said, he promised major downloads because he has connected
in the anime world and he's a very popular figure
in that world. And he promised me if we put
(20:47):
Alex tysher On, engineer for Jason and Mike Harmon and
Rob Parker and Broussard Chris Broussard that he said major downloads,
we'll go platinum if we put that. Bring up? Does
that mean with to bring on like Gavin and Iowa,
Sam and some of the other guys that, Yeah, I
(21:09):
seen these are these are I know you're west of
the four or five. These people are below you, but
I'm fine these guys, I'll put them on you. You
don't know who could be a rock star. And now
some of them might be boring and horrible, but you
have to leave room for that. And and these are
people that they're not totally anonymous because like blind Emmett,
he loves all the behind the scenes people of Fox
(21:30):
Sports Radio. He'll send messages to me and put so
and so only don the board op or whatever put
them on. Yeah. Interesting Valls. Fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee, says, Ben,
I saw you feeding the squirrels, and they must like peanuts.
What would you have done if they would have run
up both your legs and went after your own nuts?
(21:53):
I think you know what I would have done. I
would have gotten to a defensive fight or flight pasture posture. Rather.
Jimmy from Favorale that it was one of the cooler
things that I'm feeding the squirrels. We mentioned it yesterday
on the Saturday podcast. But it was pretty cool, guest scout.
It reminded me of when I went to Catalina and
they have a lover's cove on Catalian Island off the
(22:13):
coast of l A. And you're not supposed to do this,
and I should not say this in the radio, but
I have heard rumors that if you feed the fish
frozen corn or frozen peas, they will jump out of
the water to get the frozen corn and the frozen piece.
It's unbelievable. It's like you're the fish whisper. Pretty cool,
(22:33):
Pretty cool. And I said that I had the same
experience with the squirrels and it's it's pretty neat. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Ben ned
(22:56):
Flanders hosting your show, Roberto no show. What the f
year drinking Brian half pint could have ran it? Bad
decision on your part. The fund is that I don't know,
I don't know who sent that, but that's a bad
person right there. I didn't even I don't think they
put their name here. I don't know what happened. WHOA, Yeah,
(23:18):
what's the email address? I know that was on Facebook.
I think that was on the Facebook. Yeah, it's kind
of helter skelter. At the last minute, I was like
looking for questions. Vick says, are you guys unable to
get your podcast on Alexa? Are we not on Alexa? Guess?
Are you by the way that that last email that
(23:39):
the justist jointed one that was all over the place,
that came from Brandon. Yeah, we're like fifty six different platforms,
not enough gascon whatever is convenient to that particular listener.
I'm just saying, and this this guy Vick wants ALEXA.
I don't. I don't know the difference. I don't use
(24:00):
a light. Do you use Alexa? I don't use I've
never used Alexa. Have you ever dated a girl named Alexa? No? No,
just a one nighter Pierre from Springfield, mass home of
the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame where you can see
Muffett McGraw in the Pro Basketball of Fame, says, any
(24:20):
chance that your executive producer gets you a housewarming steak
and uh, you know, chow down on some warm raising
canes at the Ugly Sweater party. Now that you him
and Mr Oakley Doakley are going to be neighbors on
the elite side of the four or five. No, I will.
I will not be living west of the four oh five.
(24:41):
Want to be very clear on that. I will have
a humble abode which will be worked on starting right now.
Actually they're doing somebstructional structural work and my wife's very excited.
We get to pick out all the flooring and it's
like a brand new place. Are you doing wood or
are you doing carpet? No, we're not, definitely not carpet.
(25:01):
We're not doing would We're doing the would look tile,
which is wonderful. It'll last. I'll be dead for a
hundred years. This tile will still be good and it's
easy to clean. I love it, and it looks like wood,
but it's better. It'll last Because I had a flood
as you know your father helped me out. Thank you
for that. At the old Matherler mansion, point's hard to
say it's the old Maler mansion, but we had we
(25:22):
had a pipe burst and the floors got flooded and
because of the wood we had lamb in it. Actually
it all got destroyed and we had to get it replaced.
But with tile, the tile part we didn't have to
get replaced. Way to go. So with your flooring, what
color you're gonna have it? Are you gonna have it
as like an oak color or smoke gray? Like? What
are you gonna kind of like a smoky wood kind
(25:43):
of color? Although that is that subject to change that.
The flooring is the last thing they do because they
don't want to destroy it. So we still have some
time to pick out different flooring, but we have settled
on what we think will be the floor so we'll
see it. I'm excited. I' be looking forward to seeing
when it's all when it's all done, but it's gonna
be a couple of months before before it's done. Uh,
let's see here, Ozzy momentum. Right, since the's any chance
(26:06):
you get JT the Brick on your podcast, Guy's a legend.
Reckon it make a great radio cheers. What are you doing?
What are you? What are you doing? What do you
that's that's interesting. I haven't heard of j TS name
using a long time. No, I think he's working at
mad Dog Radio. I think he's True and Nights and
(26:27):
mad Dog Radio and he got a podcast with Looney. Now.
I don't really know JT that well. We've worked at
the same place a long time. Um, but yeah, I
mean j I knew like, uh, you know, nothing against JT.
I'm sure he's fine, all that nice guy, but I
really didn't know him that well. I knew Mike north
Bore and some of the other guys that we've had
(26:47):
on Tony Bruno, guys like that. I never really knew
JT that well. But I wouldn't be opposed to put
him on the podcast. And he's been in radio a
long time and and shoot the ship. He's a radio guy,
So if he wants to do it, we can book
him one of these weeks. Chris and Marraccada, Iowa, did
I say that right? He says. When Casey case Um
(27:08):
did the countdown, did he have to sit through commercials
or were they added later a voice tracked everything. Yeah,
everything was recorded. The commercials were added in later, So yeah,
he did not sit there, just like Ryan Seacrest, I
think does the Countdown show now. I think he's still
doing it. And Steve Harvey the same thing too, right
(27:30):
with those morning shows, Harvey will do his show. I
don't think we're allowed to say, but occasionally he will
voice track. How about that? I don't know. I don't
want to give any secrets out how we make the
hot dogs, but a lot of those. You'd be shocked
how many big time radio shows are not actually live.
Let's just put it that way. And it's really great
because a lot of guys in radio can just record
(27:50):
their show and they don't take calls, so it's not
time sensitive. I can't get away with that guestcount. I've
totally left up on my show. I take I don't
take a lot of calls, A couple of calls an
hour usually unless I go crazy and we should do
a Newbie night at some point. But um, I don't
normally take too many calls, but I take enough where
if I don't take calls, you can tell something something
(28:13):
some uh. Chris also says I'm in hearing ads on
your radio show for the Fifth Hour podcast? Did you
pay for them? If you were? You were you given
an employee discount? No, and I didn't pay for any ads.
Now I Heart Media, which is the parent company, and
Fox Sports Radio is a partnership with Fox Sports and
(28:33):
I Heart, but I Heart is the radio company, and
so they have really made a big push on podcasting,
thus the Fifth Hour podcast. And so they've been promoting
not only our podcast, but a bunch of other podcasts
on terrestrial radio to try to get people. I know,
the Will Ferrell podcast has gotten a lot of the
(28:56):
Anchorman podcast. I think it is. That's got a lot
of promotion, a lot of promotion for that. Uh, this
is a different Chris in Iowa. He says, are you
better at withstanding extreme heat or extreme cold? I imagine
you so cal Softi's handle heat better. Um, I'll go first.
(29:16):
Yeah to me. The the the heat, I'm I'm more
used to because I I've lived in recent years, I've
lived in an area got pretty hot, and I don't
mind going on vacation to spending a weekend in Palm
Springs where it gets to a hundred and ten or
Vegas where it's a hundred and twenty although you're inside
most of the time. I've spent too much time in
(29:37):
cold weather. When I have spent time in cold weather,
it has been horrific. But you just bundle up. It's
it's not it's not that bad. But the end result though,
guess gun, regardless of whether you're in hot weather or
cold weather, if you have a burn or a frost bite,
it's the same effect on the body. How about that
(29:59):
cold weather warm weather? Again, I'm I think I'm a
hockey guy, so I think I'm more cold. My engine
runs up anyway, and um yeah, I do well and cold. Now.
The kicker, though, you know this is the wind. Cold
is fine, but then you get the fucking wind, and
it's a game over. Like the Chicago the Chicago wind.
(30:22):
That wind in Philadelphia the wind is fine, but well
they call it the windy city because of the politicians,
not because the wind. That's true. Point that out. But man, yeah,
I like the cold. I don't mind it at all. Yeah,
he says a guy that's surrounded by a bunch of
heaters and all that. When you live west of the
four or five, how cold does it get out of
fifty occasionally there possibly, Yeah, sometimes I was the blankets.
(30:46):
It's gonna get the fifty not you know, last weekend
I was actually at the beach. It was a little overcast,
a little little foggy, but God, just great scenery. Alright,
moving man, Matt, Right, just why do you just run
around over that? And I feel like run out of
things to say. I feel like a moving man, Matt
writes in he says, who wins a tag team matchup
(31:09):
Ben and moving Man versus Gascon and Roberto. Um, if
I get Roberto some tequila, we wentn't buy a mile.
You have no chance. You understand the places that moving
Man Matt has been, the people he has seen, the
things he has done, you would be pumpled. I wouldn't
even have to do anything. I would just be observing.
(31:32):
I could Moving Man Matt is such a tough guy. Okay,
I've met this guy. I could get a lawn chair
and and sit down and with a big bucket of popcorn,
and he could take both Gascon and Roberto down. Like now,
if this was young, Roberto would be a problem because
Roberto was one of the scoundrels at the pavilion at
(31:52):
Dodger Stadium and typical Raider fan back in his younger
he's mellowed out. He's a family man. He's a far other,
so he's he's happy, Go lucky, Roberto, that's the guy
that you're matched up with. But Moving Man, Matt Man,
this guy's it. He's a monster. He's an inner monster
when he wants to be supporting the Mallar Militia. Great. Absolutely,
(32:16):
and a minute, Kevin. By the way, Moving Man, Matt's upset.
You didn't say something stupid because normally you say something stupid.
He's upset by that. Um Kevin in Kansas is Ben
and David. Thank you for the excellent podcast or Friday
shows are particularly insightful, and some of that comes from
the insightful questions you have for your guests. Both of
(32:39):
you are sharp with questions. Have you always been that
good or is it something you learned through practice and mentorship? Well,
that's tremendous sucking up, Kevin, I appreciate that tremendous. Uh No, no,
it's trial and error for me. I know I was
terrible when I first started in radio. It was horrifically bad.
But the good thing about working weekend overnights for all
those years is no one was listening, and I had
(33:02):
a blank canvas to try stuff and figure out what worked.
And I'm also a believer in that ten thousand hour thing.
I think there's some truth in that. The more you
do something repetition and you get to a certain point,
you master a skill. But you really can't master you
gotta keep adding on too. What about you guess? Yeah,
(33:25):
I finally I get in more trouble with longer questions
shorter questions, the easier it is. And then that's the key.
That's the key. You don't want the fifteen part question.
You hear that a lot at the White House when
they're interviewing the president, whoever the president is. The reporters
are such intellectual assholes that they asked seven different questions
(33:45):
and one question because they only get one chance to
ask a question. And as a result of that, the
person who's answering the question, ay, they have time to
think about what they're gonna say and and be they will.
They will answer the most benign of the questions. So
if you give someone a quick question and they will
(34:08):
not have time to think of an answer, that's the
key to asking questions. It's not how long ago, it's
it's asking a quick question, and why are you such
an asshole? You need to ask open, open ended questions
as opposed to close questions. Yeah, no, yes, no questions.
You can't do that. It's very important basics. These are
(34:30):
things you're supposed to learn in a journalism class. The
open questions are what, how? Why? Yeah, not the You'll
notice this a lot, especially in today's world. Can you
talk about this? Can you talking about what happened here?
That's not a question. No, but you could rephrase that
and uh, why did this happen? Or how did this happen?
(34:55):
All right? What happened? So president? But I see you
fellow asleep the other day? What happened? Just like that? Right?
Go down the list? All right? What do we have here?
Mark in Ottawa? Right, said Marks? A big fan of hers?
He says, Ben, speaking of Mr West of the four
oh five? Would you take the over under on David
(35:16):
being with four and five different blanks? Yeah, you're not
on Facebook. You can't see the question. No, I cannot
let me send this to you here. I am deathly
afraid of the Montreal Canadians potentially getting back to the
Staling Cup Final. You're afraid of that. They should be
(35:37):
curst after what they did the Kings in n Yeah,
I just sent you the question. Check that out there.
I see what you want to answer that. M it's
kind of interesting. Mark from Otta. Well, Mark's got a
lot of time on his hands. You know, when you're
when you're north of the border in Canada and you
can't even go outside to pick up your trash or
go get some groceries, and you're stuck in that ship
hold of a country, you come up with questions like that.
(36:01):
Guscon's getting more agitated. He's as mad as a hornet
right now. Mark watching the bang Bush alright. Email from
Danny This will be the last one. Danny from South Florida,
He says, Hey, Ben, Danny from South Florida. Here, Avid listener.
(36:21):
I was curious. We seem to be alike wearing the
longer swim trunks and shorts to the beach. Do you
have to go to the do do you have go
to beach attire? Or does it very based on the
outside weather. Also, does Ben Simmons know if he's allowed
to use the basket in the fourth quarter? Three shots
in seven games. Thank you, Danny. He asked the hard question. Yeah,
(36:41):
he asked the sports question. Yeah. I've talked a lot
about Ben Simmons the last week of the radio, so
I don't know if I want to rehash any of
that content. But it's good for radio. Ben Simmons is
good for radio. I'll say that. But yeah, Danny, being
a rather pasty vampire of the nights, I don't get
a lot of sun. I'm an indoor creature. I'm up nocturnal,
(37:04):
the nocturnal colonel. I'm up all night. So when I
go to the beach, I do burn easily. I do
burn easily. So there's a lot of suntan lotion. And
I usually wear a swim shirt, and I like baggy
swim trunks. I've often said, I'm not kidding, I would.
I want to cover up as much as possible. I
want to wear them if I could a burka on
(37:26):
the beach. So that that's my thing. Long swim trunks.
I wear the swim shirt and all that. So that's
my I go to. But Danny, you're in South Florida.
You're in paradise there in South Florida, so you're you're
out and about it's eighty degrees every day. There absolutely
correct gascon if you're curious. I didn't ask this, but
he wears the banana hammock when he goes to the beach.
(37:49):
That's is my board. Shirts are great, but I got
great legs. I do not skip leg day. Um perfectly.
H I guess I could say proportioned you want to
take a bow? I could if you like me to,
I can. I can do that. We learned from our
favorite couple there in South Florida that you like to
oh Grandma's. They're the ones the post tapers every day
(38:10):
and every night and uh wow, retirees, what a what
a losing? Sorry, I don't I don't burn Helen. You're
you're talking about Helen and stew in Palmetto Bay and
they didn't even send a question in let me suck
this week the typewriter broke down. Yeah, just because they
point out your shortcomings. They have the courage, the intentional fortitude,
(38:32):
their keyboard, point out your mistakes. When you f up,
they point that out. I like Helen and Stud. I'm
gonna giving them a golden ticket. Tat I just did,
I just did. I'll have that edited out of the podcast.
Oh my god, you think that when after or before
(38:54):
they send the emails to you, that they're rolling eachron
around each other and like in these wheelchairs up and
down the streets of South Florida. I mean, don't you
want to live like Stu and Helen and be able
to live in a nice area of Florida and enjoy
your life? No, they're they're young, hip and cool age
(39:16):
is just a number numb school. You're such a mama, Luke.
You know they don't live west of the four oh five.
But I'd rather live in Palmetto Bay than west of
the four oh five. How about that? Numbers four oh
five douches. I'm happy to report our podcast is up
a hundred and one percent over the last ninety days.
(39:38):
Is that right? It's pretty phenomenal. Well, I have heard
from people at the company that our podcast has done
very well, this podcast in my radio show podcast. I
don't know if that's shockingly well. But I'm not supposed
to know that, guest, because then I have, you know,
I have to negotiate a new deal, and if I
(39:58):
bring this up, then I'll be like, well, no, no,
that's not true. You know, all that, listen. I'm happy
that you brought that up, because when you are negotiating
a brand new deal, I just I'm just gonna remember
who's you know driving into the to the party, and
just you let them know that, you know, I drive
myself and just transported you know someone else's. How am
(40:21):
I related to you? I mean systems are not related.
Is that good or bad? Though? That both of your
shows have not diminished in in return, downloads and listenership
despite a pandemic. Yeah, well, I'm still blown away. It's
one of the coolest things. And I've been doing this
(40:41):
a long time, and there's been a lot of crazy
things that have happened. But the fact that Fox Sports Radio,
a place I have worked for over twenty years of
my life, pretty much my entire adult life has been
spent at Fox Sports Radio. We had more listeners with
no sports than with sports. It's shocking, wild listen. I
would like to thank the people running the other networks
(41:02):
were doing such a terrible job programming that Fox Sports
Radio's programming is so much better than the apparently, judging
by the ratings, were the number one. It's shocking when
I got into this, when Fox Sports radio started, ESPN
Radio was the dominator. It was all about ESPN Radio.
They were the number one network and they're not anymore.
Fox Sports Radio is the pre eminent network for sports programming.
(41:27):
It's a great testimonial to the people that work on
on the radio, behind the scenes, people in management, everyone.
It's crazy to think that this place is I don't
think of it that way, but that it's the most
listened to sports network. It's it's just nuts. Who knew? No,
(41:48):
I mean, that's you know. Part of it's the The
digital numbers have just accentuated the show. And then I
you know, happy to report that you helping you get
into the digital world. You're gonna make this all about you.
It's been one of those things. It's my little baby,
and sometimes they shed a tear when I see you
blossom into this big media muggle. It's a great sight
(42:09):
to see, you know. It's like you want to do
a pirouete on the catwalk and turn back around, come
back to the rest of us here. Oh my god. Yes,
it's these are wild numbers. It's it's really cool to
see the engagement with people out there. So no, it's
great and I've always had a little bit of an
advantage being the overnight guy, because most people only work
(42:31):
overnights for a select amount of time and then go
back to the day, the dreaded day shift. And the
cool thing is I've been able to convince some of
my my people that are are fans of the show
that they can still listen during the day even if
it's like the way I look at it, even though
I'm doing the overnight show, we're pretty much just recording
a podcast for the next day, and there's a lot
of people. You look at the downloads on the radio show,
(42:51):
and there's a lot of people that are listening to
us in morning drive on the on the overnight show
and just listening when they get in their cars in
the morning on the way to work. It's pretty cool. Yeah, well,
it's need to see that to be accurate. Though your
show is not crafted in such a black and white
kind of format where you're just like, you're just hard
oh sports all the time. You're allowed to go off
the beaten path a bit. I don't know what you're
(43:12):
talking about. You're a lot to be colorful, That's what
I'm trying to say. I got to use all the
colors in the range. Yes, some guys don't do that.
Some guys are just like black, red, whitey blue. I'm out,
I hear you. Don't you have some German game to
do or something like going messing up my schedule? Hut,
there's there you anyway? All right? Listen? Thank you again.
(43:36):
Tell a friend. We can double the podcast audience. I
say this, I mean it. If everyone listening, I'm talking
about you and the other person over there. If we
can all get one person to listen, just one person
to listen, to download the podcast. I don't care about
your grandma, your grandpa. I don't care if it's your
kid that doesn't care about sports. As long as they
subscribe to the podcast, we get a little bit of
(43:56):
credit automatically downloads. But we thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you for supporting the podcast. Have a great rest
of your Sunday. We'll be back inside the Magic Radio
Box with a new week of fresh content on the
Ben Maller Radio Show at eleven o'clock Pacific on Sunday night,
two am in the West. On Monday, in the middle
(44:19):
of the night early in the morning, We'll catch you.
Then be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app
If you've thought more hours a day, minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats track
heads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes.
Break Free for Something Special Hour with Ben Maller starts
(00:25):
right now that it does. We are in the air
everywhere bluviating your Sunday away another mail bag. We do
this eight days a week because four hours a night
are not enough, clearly, and we thank you for finding
(00:46):
I hope you enjoyed the Travelog podcast on Saturday, the
Squirrel Whisper and some hot German football talk from Gas.
We got so long winded on that we did not
have time to get to pop Quiz or Scientifical. But
West of the four five guests on is back again
for the Sunday. No need for the crowd. Thank you.
But you're with I'm a pilot putting us on blast
(01:08):
last week. And since you love to you know, live
in the kitchen and I'm doing German football, European football,
what about this schnitzel? Yeah? What if you make your
own schnitzel. The German food I love is the pretzel. Yeah,
I don't know about the schnitzel. Man, that would be,
(01:30):
although I do like that it's a thin slice of meat.
As you know, I I cannot eat meat unless it's
thinly sliced and it's crusted and it's pounded, which is good. Yeah,
I mean I could, I could do schnitzel. I make
my chicken like that, right. I don't want meat. I
don't know about that, but schnitzel's wonderful because it's fried.
(01:51):
It's thinly sliced, breaded and fried, and you can never
have enough of it. Yeah. So I is there a
certain kind of meat you're supposed to put in the
schnitzel or it can be any kind of I don't
know rules. Yeah, I don't know. It's a good question. Yeah,
I'm sure we'll get blasted for it. Now. I have
some bad news with the mail bag. Bad news really well,
(02:14):
it's bad for some and it's good for others. The
fact that we're doing the mail bag earlier than we
normally do the mail bag. No no, no, no, no no. Um.
I'd like, are we doing this by the way early
for next week. Also is that the is that the
plan here is that No, we're not okay, but it
has to do with you know, the following days and
the following weeks. Um, I needed to point you to
(02:37):
your your cell phone right now because there's there's this
text message you're going to receive with some interesting notes. Um.
What you'll see on that said text message, Ben will
be podcast download numbers from last week's episodes where you
purposely told your audience last Saturday to tank the Friday show. No,
(03:00):
I didn't tell them, and I had the audio proof
from that. Well, I have no way of verifying whether
we're not going through a stage sanctioned audit. This thing
is all upright, and if you look at that, it'll
see and listen, four thousand more downloads Saturday. I think
(03:20):
it's not it's less than four thousands. It's less than
four thousand. And we open up the mail bag and
all the people upset complaining where were you been? Why
weren't you there? We had to listen to some you know,
some guy from the Broncos and guesscon where were you?
You want to go through those emails and we here's
(03:43):
the problem. We have the Mailbag does does very well,
although this this past week not as well. The audio
was not great on the mail Bag. That's year fault
on that. But but yeah, more here's the thing on
audio content. More people listen on Friday, less people listen
it on Saturday and Sunday. It's just the way it is.
People are out doing things on Saturday and Sunday. On Friday,
(04:06):
people are more willing to listen to the podcast. But
if I was really if I was really motivating, that
was a throwaway line at the end of the podcast. No. No,
if I was trying to make a statement, I would
have began the podcast by saying, you know, listen to me.
Don't listen to it. But what's the point of doing
on a Saturday. If people are already going to listen
to the podcast on a Friday, and you know it
(04:28):
would have been on Friday. You should have been the
one saying, don't listen to bet on Saturday. Listen to
me on Friday. That would have been more effective. It
was just a joke. Guest, you are so sensitive, you
are such a delicate little flower, because I mean, how
dare you? I was it was a joke. I was,
I was having fun at the end of a podcast.
If my motivation was to get people to listen this
(04:50):
podcast on Saturday, on this obviously Sunday podcast, but the
Saturday podcast instead of the Friday podcast, it would have
been ridiculous to do it at the very end of
the Saturday podcast. And I'm happy you brought that up
because I haven't seen a big man like you on
roller skates in a long time, and now that you're
on roller skates, I will let you. Since I am
a caretaker of the said podcast, I carefully edited those
(05:15):
carefully crafted jokes out of the podcast, right right to
that head. And no idea that right? Is that right?
Is that right? You asshole? You piece of shit? Is
that correct? Fuck you? Wow? Snowed under yet again? Cast
(05:37):
your eyes on Judas right over there. My god, the
podcast is recorded live to air, live to air, and
your phony but that is a traitorous act, all right?
How dare you betrayal? You get By the way, there
(06:05):
were people pissed, you know they were. They were more
upset I missed the radio show, but then the podcast also,
Oh my god, how could you miss the podcast? You're
supposed to jump in with both feet on the podcast.
Every podcast would like when you had your gallbladder removed
and people are piste off the ear. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was in the hospital having major surgery because I
(06:27):
gall bladder was all messed up because I waited wait
too long and they were busting my balls at work.
You didn't exactly run over to see me. By the way,
guests gun you know over. They want to point that out.
You know you were not forbidden, you know, uh alright. Anyway,
we have the mail bag. These are actual questions sent
(06:48):
in by actual listeners like yourself, submitted via Facebook on
the Facebook page Ben mall Or Show or Real Fifth
Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail
dot com and oh wait we go. First mail bag
question comes from I'm a pilot in parts of now
and he says hello from sunny Tel Aviv. I guess
(07:11):
we know where he is then It's probably mid eighties,
perfect weather and a stark difference to my previous Sydney
Prisons day. Because before I get into that, I just
want to say congrats Bend on the home sale. Well,
thank you for that. I'm a pilot it has been
several months in the making on that. He says, I
(07:32):
will try to keep this compact as possible. So he
gives us the travel log, the I'm a pilot travel log,
which is all he doesn't fly around, he says. So
the flight to Sydney, he claims his fourteen to fifteen hours.
It's the same to Tel Aviv. So he goes to
Sydney first and globally, I'm a pilot still dealing with
all the COVID protocols and all that. He says. The
(07:55):
had a COVID test prior to departure. Flight goes south
of Hawaii around the equator. He mentions the Christmas Island
some other island I've never heard of, since there's this
area called the I t z Z, the inner Tropical
conversion Zone. Have you ever heard of that the tropical
I haven't either, He says. It's where the north and
(08:18):
south trade winds meet. Usually it's pretty gnarly storms up
to fifty thousand plus feet, bumpy ride, et cetera. Gotta
weave through all that and head up or head on
down towards Pago Pago on the way to Sydney. Arrive
early morning, sit for thirty minutes to deep plane because
(08:40):
we are now in the New South Wales and they
will only process what arrival at a time due to COVID.
According to I'm a pilot, lot of red tape, a
lot of bureaucracy us. So they deep plane, he says,
has to wait in a hall for one hour, so
the plane is landed, half an hour on the plane
hour way eating for someone in full hasmat suit. They
(09:03):
come get you, says security, then escorted you to process
for arrival instructions. He says, there were nurses there and
there were mean ones that would take your temperature, criticize
the mask wearing procedures that they were doing. Uh and uh,
(09:25):
he said, given instructions how to properly wear masks. Told
we were not allowed to leave the hotel room, handed
them papers one of five sheets of paper with passport, name,
arrival and departure information. I'm a pilot, and say said,
walked fifty feet, handed the papers a two sheet too
(09:45):
with info, signed something. He's giving every detail. By the way,
guests gun here. He's very detailed, orient saying I'm not
going anywhere, so he had to sign off these not
going anywhere. He was escorted to the passport an immigration
area where there were you know, sheet number three clear customs.
Then have to take another COVID test. Just took one
(10:09):
sixteen hours ago, he says, so he's taking another one.
I'm a pilot, says as he traveling around the globe.
Here the globe trekker. Give the door hallway, where to
we find out where we will be staying. There's two hotels.
Government selects, no choice. You don't gonna choose which hotel
you stay at. The door opens. Pilots get on one bus.
(10:30):
Flight attendants. I guess they're segregated. They go on another
bus going to the same location. Though that's odd, so
it says, going to the same location. Uh. The email continues.
He says, at a hotel, police escorted in two at
a time. The same has met people with z papers, questions,
(10:51):
temperature check shown, room number, escorted to another office. Shown paper.
I have to show the paper with the number room
we're on. It punches the elevator button as apparently if
if I'm a pilot, says, if I touched it, the
world would end. Yeah, it's a little a little too much.
Email continues. He says, get off on the floor. And
(11:12):
yet another police officer in a Hasma and a Hasmat person,
show the paper with the room number and they let
you in. Can only open the door to retrieve food
that is brought at a scheduled time. This sounds like China. Ship,
This doesn't sound Where is this done? He's in? Where
was he here? Sydney right, sounds like it sounds like China.
(11:34):
Uh so, he says, only able to retrieve the food
that has brought in his schedule. Times, no selection. Once
you hear a knock, wait thirty seconds, put on a
mask and open get food. Immediately closed the door, he says.
Fun times food was met. The worst part, I'm a pilot, says,
was in the morning. I just wanted some eggs, Nope,
(11:54):
corn flakes and something that resembled apple strudel. I don't
have a problem with apple strudal. I'm a pilot. I
kind of like the apple strutal. If it's hot, though
it's really hot, that's the problem. Uh it's it's great.
So I I have coffee and bite into the thinking
Biden is thinking apple strudal. It was actually some curry
(12:18):
meat pastry. Holy ship, that's disgusting. Can't wait to go
home process all repeats on way back, says, Sydney sucks.
Sydney Australia sucks. They just use our archaic British rules
and make them more jacked up so they can call
it their own. So then he goes to Tel Aviv
(12:41):
gives us the story on that just takes off over Canada.
So they fly over from tell Aviv. From Sydney, they
fly to get to tell Aviv. They take off over Canada, Greenland, Iceland, Sweden, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, Turkey, Cypress, Israel.
Only thing is you have have You have to call,
(13:01):
he says, tel Aviv Airspace early to get permission to enter.
Usually the handoff is from each center. But Turkey and
Israel don't talk to each other, of course, not even
though they're right near each other. So you have to
do that. Land get off. Everything is a process. Automatic
scan the passport head out easy, he said. And they
(13:24):
just lifted the mask wearing mandates. In Israel, everything is open.
Anything happening is towards Palestines border. Nothing happening in Tel
Aviv except sun and fun. And he says, uh, He's
I'm a pilot, two very different places, vastly different experiences.
But can get the Ben Maller and Gascon show anywhere shalom,
(13:49):
He says, I'm at. I feel like we need to
do one dedicated episode for him, just something. He calmed down.
I know you want to suck the toe. He's in
transit to some of these foreign lands. Just draconian, just awful.
I get it. I just listen. I I like I'm
(14:10):
a pilot. He's been a hat benefactor. He's been very
kind and supported the show for some reason. He claims
to like you a little too much. But no one's perfect.
Patricia writes in from Lost Wages, Nevada and says, what
exactly is so important that Mr West of the four
oh five cannot be there on the regular podcast. I'm
asking for a friend. Oh my gosh, you want to
(14:33):
answer Patricia's question? Vegas? You no, alright? Uh, Patricia, he
is rejecting. Well, I think he's a legitimate question. Mess
messes up my schedule, messes up the listeners schedule. What
messes up my schedule too? Very rude? I agree by you.
It's Rick from San Ramon who says that collapse on
(14:57):
part of the jazz the other day. It's like last
week now it was epic. I said, I'm not a
Clipper fan, but that was a gutsy performance by your team,
Rick says Sands Kauai. Good luck to your boys the
rest of the way. PS Clay's back next year and
the Dubs are gonna make a move on an impact
(15:18):
veteran in free agency, court Rick, the West will belong
to the Dubs one last time before the greatest shooter
on the planet retires. There you go. So I did.
I did win steak dinner backing your team when they
were down O two. You're welcome, welcome. It's all right.
(15:38):
Have you cashed that in yet? I'm gonna wait on that.
But I did take my shots at George Rice stir
and uh yeah, he will not spare any expanse on that.
That's that's gonna be a nice steak dinner. Good. Yes,
you got your shots? Huh? I did? I did down
oh two and they came back, got on their horse
and won it. It's last job, Fred from Spring Texas, right, since,
(16:02):
says are you and gascon dog or cat people? I'm
I'm a dog person. You're a squirrel person. Well, I'm
a squirrel person. I'm I like to feed the ducks
and the geese at the park. I'm like an old guy.
I just I like to feed animals. Now, you watch documentaries,
Do you ever watch like nature shows, andything like that? Yes,
(16:23):
I do. I like those that use drone footage and show,
you know, different parts of the world forests. They go
into the forest, or they'll go to the really arctic
parts of the world. Or there was a documentary was
on Netflix a while ago about the oceans. Yeah, I
like those. Well, the reason why I ask is because
his question says, are you dog or cat? I've been
(16:44):
watching a lot of Instagram videos now of these guys.
Those are beautiful, bodacious women. Those aren't dogs and cats.
Are there are these guys? Now? I'm not not now,
but like there's guys out there that are are hanging
around like huging, rolling around the dirt or the grass,
the wildlife with lions and tigers sometimes wolves. I just
(17:09):
I mean, it's it's crazy to see, you know, two
d plus pound animals and these guys that just have
no regard for anything else. These are wild animals obviously
that they're able to uh to bondle with. That's pretty fascinating. Well,
never underestimate the power of cloud chasing, trying to get
(17:29):
your fifteen minutes of fame, the unnecessary drama. No, these
guys like take care of these these lions. And really,
I thought you were telling me there were people on
instant the way you made it seem like there were
people trying to get people to like them on Instagram. No, no, no,
these guys were like legit trainers and so they yeah,
they well, they've always been that. I remember when I
was a kid, I remember seeing videos, like actual VHS
(17:53):
videos of I think it's in Malaysia. There have been
families there that have had pet allega eaters or you
know whatever. Yeah, and so that that's like the family pet.
You have a dog I have, maybe you're a cat person,
maybe you have a chicken or a pig, and they
have a pet alligator. That's time to go to bed.
Make sure you put the alligator in the bed. I mean,
(18:15):
come on, that's crazy, nuts, right, yeah, alligator. Eric and
Olmaha says jeans khakis or sweatpants. Uh, sweatpants, sweatpants jeans,
Lee writes in From the Valley of the Sun. He
says hamburger or pizza and uh, fun gag on. He says,
(18:40):
did you spell any of that right? A couple of
he got that one. A couple of words messed up there.
That's hamburger pizza. That's tough, A well made burger. Yeah,
pizzas to me multidimensional. You get the toppings change on
the topics on a burger change too. But I'll go
pizza and you can have cold pizza. You can't have
(19:00):
a cold burger, That's true. You gotta eat it fresh.
Blind Emmett, the Seahawk fan and Olympia Washington says, have
you guys thought about getting the great John Ramos? On
the fifth hour podcast Our Our Mexican Philip rivers, Wow,
I got a lot of kids. Man, What what's wrong
with that? Man? Is your family? Man? Wrong with that?
(19:21):
Ramos is an l a radio ledge, It's not an amateur. Now.
I was bragging to John Ramos when I moved to
the Halfway House, and I had to deal with John
and the the engineering staff, Curious and the other guys
on the engineering side. I had to get the studio
set up, of course I had to do it myself, uh,
and and move everything and make sure everything was still connected.
(19:41):
The way it was supposed to be connected. As you know,
I'm an expert my FCC. I had my FCC license
when I worked at the college station back in the day. Anyway,
so I'm talking to Ramos and I'm like, see, I'm like,
you know, an amateur engineer just like you, and I
know I'm a professional engineer. Let you take that subtle
shot at him. No, that was not my intention. That
(20:02):
was not my intention to take a subtle shot at him.
I was merely pointing out that I was proud of
myself that we actually got this to work, even though
I had to do a week back at the mother
Ship and and all that. But I'd love this. It's
up to me, blind Emmett. I would put many of
the support staff the meat and potatoes of a Fox
Sports radio. I would happily put these people on. In fact,
(20:25):
we are going to have at some point ask a
Vegan will be on the podcast. Alex Tisher will be
on the podcast. I promised him a podcast experience. Now,
he said, he promised major downloads because he has connected
in the anime world and he's a very popular figure
in that world. And he promised me if we put
(20:47):
Alex tysher On, engineer for Jason and Mike Harmon and
Rob Parker and Broussard Chris Broussard that he said major downloads,
we'll go platinum if we put that. Bring up? Does
that mean with to bring on like Gavin and Iowa,
Sam and some of the other guys that, Yeah, I
(21:09):
seen these are these are I know you're west of
the four or five. These people are below you, but
I'm fine these guys, I'll put them on you. You
don't know who could be a rock star. And now
some of them might be boring and horrible, but you
have to leave room for that. And and these are
people that they're not totally anonymous because like blind Emmett,
he loves all the behind the scenes people of Fox
(21:30):
Sports Radio. He'll send messages to me and put so
and so only don the board op or whatever put
them on. Yeah. Interesting Valls. Fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee, says, Ben,
I saw you feeding the squirrels, and they must like peanuts.
What would you have done if they would have run
up both your legs and went after your own nuts?
(21:53):
I think you know what I would have done. I
would have gotten to a defensive fight or flight pasture posture. Rather.
Jimmy from Favorale that it was one of the cooler
things that I'm feeding the squirrels. We mentioned it yesterday
on the Saturday podcast. But it was pretty cool, guest scout.
It reminded me of when I went to Catalina and
they have a lover's cove on Catalian Island off the
(22:13):
coast of l A. And you're not supposed to do this,
and I should not say this in the radio, but
I have heard rumors that if you feed the fish
frozen corn or frozen peas, they will jump out of
the water to get the frozen corn and the frozen piece.
It's unbelievable. It's like you're the fish whisper. Pretty cool,
(22:33):
Pretty cool. And I said that I had the same
experience with the squirrels and it's it's pretty neat. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Ben ned
(22:56):
Flanders hosting your show, Roberto no show. What the f
year drinking Brian half pint could have ran it? Bad
decision on your part. The fund is that I don't know,
I don't know who sent that, but that's a bad
person right there. I didn't even I don't think they
put their name here. I don't know what happened. WHOA, Yeah,
(23:18):
what's the email address? I know that was on Facebook.
I think that was on the Facebook. Yeah, it's kind
of helter skelter. At the last minute, I was like
looking for questions. Vick says, are you guys unable to
get your podcast on Alexa? Are we not on Alexa? Guess?
Are you by the way that that last email that
(23:39):
the justist jointed one that was all over the place,
that came from Brandon. Yeah, we're like fifty six different platforms,
not enough gascon whatever is convenient to that particular listener.
I'm just saying, and this this guy Vick wants ALEXA.
I don't. I don't know the difference. I don't use
(24:00):
a light. Do you use Alexa? I don't use I've
never used Alexa. Have you ever dated a girl named Alexa? No? No,
just a one nighter Pierre from Springfield, mass home of
the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame where you can see
Muffett McGraw in the Pro Basketball of Fame, says, any
(24:20):
chance that your executive producer gets you a housewarming steak
and uh, you know, chow down on some warm raising
canes at the Ugly Sweater party. Now that you him
and Mr Oakley Doakley are going to be neighbors on
the elite side of the four or five. No, I will.
I will not be living west of the four oh five.
(24:41):
Want to be very clear on that. I will have
a humble abode which will be worked on starting right now.
Actually they're doing somebstructional structural work and my wife's very excited.
We get to pick out all the flooring and it's
like a brand new place. Are you doing wood or
are you doing carpet? No, we're not, definitely not carpet.
(25:01):
We're not doing would We're doing the would look tile,
which is wonderful. It'll last. I'll be dead for a
hundred years. This tile will still be good and it's
easy to clean. I love it, and it looks like wood,
but it's better. It'll last Because I had a flood
as you know your father helped me out. Thank you
for that. At the old Matherler mansion, point's hard to
say it's the old Maler mansion, but we had we
(25:22):
had a pipe burst and the floors got flooded and
because of the wood we had lamb in it. Actually
it all got destroyed and we had to get it replaced.
But with tile, the tile part we didn't have to
get replaced. Way to go. So with your flooring, what
color you're gonna have it? Are you gonna have it
as like an oak color or smoke gray? Like? What
are you gonna kind of like a smoky wood kind
(25:43):
of color? Although that is that subject to change that.
The flooring is the last thing they do because they
don't want to destroy it. So we still have some
time to pick out different flooring, but we have settled
on what we think will be the floor so we'll
see it. I'm excited. I' be looking forward to seeing
when it's all when it's all done, but it's gonna
be a couple of months before before it's done. Uh,
let's see here, Ozzy momentum. Right, since the's any chance
(26:06):
you get JT the Brick on your podcast, Guy's a legend.
Reckon it make a great radio cheers. What are you doing?
What are you? What are you doing? What do you
that's that's interesting. I haven't heard of j TS name
using a long time. No, I think he's working at
mad Dog Radio. I think he's True and Nights and
(26:27):
mad Dog Radio and he got a podcast with Looney. Now.
I don't really know JT that well. We've worked at
the same place a long time. Um, but yeah, I
mean j I knew like, uh, you know, nothing against JT.
I'm sure he's fine, all that nice guy, but I
really didn't know him that well. I knew Mike north
Bore and some of the other guys that we've had
(26:47):
on Tony Bruno, guys like that. I never really knew
JT that well. But I wouldn't be opposed to put
him on the podcast. And he's been in radio a
long time and and shoot the ship. He's a radio guy,
So if he wants to do it, we can book
him one of these weeks. Chris and Marraccada, Iowa, did
I say that right? He says. When Casey case Um
(27:08):
did the countdown, did he have to sit through commercials
or were they added later a voice tracked everything. Yeah,
everything was recorded. The commercials were added in later, So yeah,
he did not sit there, just like Ryan Seacrest, I
think does the Countdown show now. I think he's still
doing it. And Steve Harvey the same thing too, right
(27:30):
with those morning shows, Harvey will do his show. I
don't think we're allowed to say, but occasionally he will
voice track. How about that? I don't know. I don't
want to give any secrets out how we make the
hot dogs, but a lot of those. You'd be shocked
how many big time radio shows are not actually live.
Let's just put it that way. And it's really great
because a lot of guys in radio can just record
(27:50):
their show and they don't take calls, so it's not
time sensitive. I can't get away with that guestcount. I've
totally left up on my show. I take I don't
take a lot of calls, A couple of calls an
hour usually unless I go crazy and we should do
a Newbie night at some point. But um, I don't
normally take too many calls, but I take enough where
if I don't take calls, you can tell something something
(28:13):
some uh. Chris also says I'm in hearing ads on
your radio show for the Fifth Hour podcast? Did you
pay for them? If you were? You were you given
an employee discount? No, and I didn't pay for any ads.
Now I Heart Media, which is the parent company, and
Fox Sports Radio is a partnership with Fox Sports and
(28:33):
I Heart, but I Heart is the radio company, and
so they have really made a big push on podcasting,
thus the Fifth Hour podcast. And so they've been promoting
not only our podcast, but a bunch of other podcasts
on terrestrial radio to try to get people. I know,
the Will Ferrell podcast has gotten a lot of the
(28:56):
Anchorman podcast. I think it is. That's got a lot
of promotion, a lot of promotion for that. Uh, this
is a different Chris in Iowa. He says, are you
better at withstanding extreme heat or extreme cold? I imagine
you so cal Softi's handle heat better. Um, I'll go first.
(29:16):
Yeah to me. The the the heat, I'm I'm more
used to because I I've lived in recent years, I've
lived in an area got pretty hot, and I don't
mind going on vacation to spending a weekend in Palm
Springs where it gets to a hundred and ten or
Vegas where it's a hundred and twenty although you're inside
most of the time. I've spent too much time in
(29:37):
cold weather. When I have spent time in cold weather,
it has been horrific. But you just bundle up. It's
it's not it's not that bad. But the end result though,
guess gun, regardless of whether you're in hot weather or
cold weather, if you have a burn or a frost bite,
it's the same effect on the body. How about that
(29:59):
cold weather warm weather? Again, I'm I think I'm a
hockey guy, so I think I'm more cold. My engine
runs up anyway, and um yeah, I do well and cold. Now.
The kicker, though, you know this is the wind. Cold
is fine, but then you get the fucking wind, and
it's a game over. Like the Chicago the Chicago wind.
(30:22):
That wind in Philadelphia the wind is fine, but well
they call it the windy city because of the politicians,
not because the wind. That's true. Point that out. But man, yeah,
I like the cold. I don't mind it at all. Yeah,
he says a guy that's surrounded by a bunch of
heaters and all that. When you live west of the
four or five, how cold does it get out of
fifty occasionally there possibly, Yeah, sometimes I was the blankets.
(30:46):
It's gonna get the fifty not you know, last weekend
I was actually at the beach. It was a little overcast,
a little little foggy, but God, just great scenery. Alright,
moving man, Matt, Right, just why do you just run
around over that? And I feel like run out of
things to say. I feel like a moving man, Matt
writes in he says, who wins a tag team matchup
(31:09):
Ben and moving Man versus Gascon and Roberto. Um, if
I get Roberto some tequila, we wentn't buy a mile.
You have no chance. You understand the places that moving
Man Matt has been, the people he has seen, the
things he has done, you would be pumpled. I wouldn't
even have to do anything. I would just be observing.
(31:32):
I could Moving Man Matt is such a tough guy. Okay,
I've met this guy. I could get a lawn chair
and and sit down and with a big bucket of popcorn,
and he could take both Gascon and Roberto down. Like now,
if this was young, Roberto would be a problem because
Roberto was one of the scoundrels at the pavilion at
(31:52):
Dodger Stadium and typical Raider fan back in his younger
he's mellowed out. He's a family man. He's a far other,
so he's he's happy, Go lucky, Roberto, that's the guy
that you're matched up with. But Moving Man, Matt Man,
this guy's it. He's a monster. He's an inner monster
when he wants to be supporting the Mallar Militia. Great. Absolutely,
(32:16):
and a minute, Kevin. By the way, Moving Man, Matt's upset.
You didn't say something stupid because normally you say something stupid.
He's upset by that. Um Kevin in Kansas is Ben
and David. Thank you for the excellent podcast or Friday
shows are particularly insightful, and some of that comes from
the insightful questions you have for your guests. Both of
(32:39):
you are sharp with questions. Have you always been that
good or is it something you learned through practice and mentorship? Well,
that's tremendous sucking up, Kevin, I appreciate that tremendous. Uh No, no,
it's trial and error for me. I know I was
terrible when I first started in radio. It was horrifically bad.
But the good thing about working weekend overnights for all
those years is no one was listening, and I had
(33:02):
a blank canvas to try stuff and figure out what worked.
And I'm also a believer in that ten thousand hour thing.
I think there's some truth in that. The more you
do something repetition and you get to a certain point,
you master a skill. But you really can't master you
gotta keep adding on too. What about you guess? Yeah,
(33:25):
I finally I get in more trouble with longer questions
shorter questions, the easier it is. And then that's the key.
That's the key. You don't want the fifteen part question.
You hear that a lot at the White House when
they're interviewing the president, whoever the president is. The reporters
are such intellectual assholes that they asked seven different questions
(33:45):
and one question because they only get one chance to
ask a question. And as a result of that, the
person who's answering the question, ay, they have time to
think about what they're gonna say and and be they will.
They will answer the most benign of the questions. So
if you give someone a quick question and they will
(34:08):
not have time to think of an answer, that's the
key to asking questions. It's not how long ago, it's
it's asking a quick question, and why are you such
an asshole? You need to ask open, open ended questions
as opposed to close questions. Yeah, no, yes, no questions.
You can't do that. It's very important basics. These are
(34:30):
things you're supposed to learn in a journalism class. The
open questions are what, how? Why? Yeah, not the You'll
notice this a lot, especially in today's world. Can you
talk about this? Can you talking about what happened here?
That's not a question. No, but you could rephrase that
and uh, why did this happen? Or how did this happen?
(34:55):
All right? What happened? So president? But I see you
fellow asleep the other day? What happened? Just like that? Right?
Go down the list? All right? What do we have here?
Mark in Ottawa? Right, said Marks? A big fan of hers?
He says, Ben, speaking of Mr West of the four
oh five? Would you take the over under on David
(35:16):
being with four and five different blanks? Yeah, you're not
on Facebook. You can't see the question. No, I cannot
let me send this to you here. I am deathly
afraid of the Montreal Canadians potentially getting back to the
Staling Cup Final. You're afraid of that. They should be
(35:37):
curst after what they did the Kings in n Yeah,
I just sent you the question. Check that out there.
I see what you want to answer that. M it's
kind of interesting. Mark from Otta. Well, Mark's got a
lot of time on his hands. You know, when you're
when you're north of the border in Canada and you
can't even go outside to pick up your trash or
go get some groceries, and you're stuck in that ship
hold of a country, you come up with questions like that.
(36:01):
Guscon's getting more agitated. He's as mad as a hornet
right now. Mark watching the bang Bush alright. Email from
Danny This will be the last one. Danny from South Florida,
He says, Hey, Ben, Danny from South Florida. Here, Avid listener.
(36:21):
I was curious. We seem to be alike wearing the
longer swim trunks and shorts to the beach. Do you
have to go to the do do you have go
to beach attire? Or does it very based on the
outside weather. Also, does Ben Simmons know if he's allowed
to use the basket in the fourth quarter? Three shots
in seven games. Thank you, Danny. He asked the hard question. Yeah,
(36:41):
he asked the sports question. Yeah. I've talked a lot
about Ben Simmons the last week of the radio, so
I don't know if I want to rehash any of
that content. But it's good for radio. Ben Simmons is
good for radio. I'll say that. But yeah, Danny, being
a rather pasty vampire of the nights, I don't get
a lot of sun. I'm an indoor creature. I'm up nocturnal,
(37:04):
the nocturnal colonel. I'm up all night. So when I
go to the beach, I do burn easily. I do
burn easily. So there's a lot of suntan lotion. And
I usually wear a swim shirt, and I like baggy
swim trunks. I've often said, I'm not kidding, I would.
I want to cover up as much as possible. I
want to wear them if I could a burka on
(37:26):
the beach. So that that's my thing. Long swim trunks.
I wear the swim shirt and all that. So that's
my I go to. But Danny, you're in South Florida.
You're in paradise there in South Florida, so you're you're
out and about it's eighty degrees every day. There absolutely
correct gascon if you're curious. I didn't ask this, but
he wears the banana hammock when he goes to the beach.
(37:49):
That's is my board. Shirts are great, but I got
great legs. I do not skip leg day. Um perfectly.
H I guess I could say proportioned you want to
take a bow? I could if you like me to,
I can. I can do that. We learned from our
favorite couple there in South Florida that you like to
oh Grandma's. They're the ones the post tapers every day
(38:10):
and every night and uh wow, retirees, what a what
a losing? Sorry, I don't I don't burn Helen. You're
you're talking about Helen and stew in Palmetto Bay and
they didn't even send a question in let me suck
this week the typewriter broke down. Yeah, just because they
point out your shortcomings. They have the courage, the intentional fortitude,
(38:32):
their keyboard, point out your mistakes. When you f up,
they point that out. I like Helen and Stud. I'm
gonna giving them a golden ticket. Tat I just did,
I just did. I'll have that edited out of the podcast.
Oh my god, you think that when after or before
(38:54):
they send the emails to you, that they're rolling eachron
around each other and like in these wheelchairs up and
down the streets of South Florida. I mean, don't you
want to live like Stu and Helen and be able
to live in a nice area of Florida and enjoy
your life? No, they're they're young, hip and cool age
(39:16):
is just a number numb school. You're such a mama, Luke.
You know they don't live west of the four oh five.
But I'd rather live in Palmetto Bay than west of
the four oh five. How about that? Numbers four oh
five douches. I'm happy to report our podcast is up
a hundred and one percent over the last ninety days.
(39:38):
Is that right? It's pretty phenomenal. Well, I have heard
from people at the company that our podcast has done
very well, this podcast in my radio show podcast. I
don't know if that's shockingly well. But I'm not supposed
to know that, guest, because then I have, you know,
I have to negotiate a new deal, and if I
(39:58):
bring this up, then I'll be like, well, no, no,
that's not true. You know, all that, listen. I'm happy
that you brought that up, because when you are negotiating
a brand new deal, I just I'm just gonna remember
who's you know driving into the to the party, and
just you let them know that, you know, I drive
myself and just transported you know someone else's. How am
(40:21):
I related to you? I mean systems are not related.
Is that good or bad? Though? That both of your
shows have not diminished in in return, downloads and listenership
despite a pandemic. Yeah, well, I'm still blown away. It's
one of the coolest things. And I've been doing this
(40:41):
a long time, and there's been a lot of crazy
things that have happened. But the fact that Fox Sports Radio,
a place I have worked for over twenty years of
my life, pretty much my entire adult life has been
spent at Fox Sports Radio. We had more listeners with
no sports than with sports. It's shocking, wild listen. I
would like to thank the people running the other networks
(41:02):
were doing such a terrible job programming that Fox Sports
Radio's programming is so much better than the apparently, judging
by the ratings, were the number one. It's shocking when
I got into this, when Fox Sports radio started, ESPN
Radio was the dominator. It was all about ESPN Radio.
They were the number one network and they're not anymore.
Fox Sports Radio is the pre eminent network for sports programming.
(41:27):
It's a great testimonial to the people that work on
on the radio, behind the scenes, people in management, everyone.
It's crazy to think that this place is I don't
think of it that way, but that it's the most
listened to sports network. It's it's just nuts. Who knew? No,
(41:48):
I mean, that's you know. Part of it's the The
digital numbers have just accentuated the show. And then I
you know, happy to report that you helping you get
into the digital world. You're gonna make this all about you.
It's been one of those things. It's my little baby,
and sometimes they shed a tear when I see you
blossom into this big media muggle. It's a great sight
(42:09):
to see, you know. It's like you want to do
a pirouete on the catwalk and turn back around, come
back to the rest of us here. Oh my god. Yes,
it's these are wild numbers. It's it's really cool to
see the engagement with people out there. So no, it's
great and I've always had a little bit of an
advantage being the overnight guy, because most people only work
(42:31):
overnights for a select amount of time and then go
back to the day, the dreaded day shift. And the
cool thing is I've been able to convince some of
my my people that are are fans of the show
that they can still listen during the day even if
it's like the way I look at it, even though
I'm doing the overnight show, we're pretty much just recording
a podcast for the next day, and there's a lot
of people. You look at the downloads on the radio show,
(42:51):
and there's a lot of people that are listening to
us in morning drive on the on the overnight show
and just listening when they get in their cars in
the morning on the way to work. It's pretty cool. Yeah, well,
it's need to see that to be accurate. Though your
show is not crafted in such a black and white
kind of format where you're just like, you're just hard
oh sports all the time. You're allowed to go off
the beaten path a bit. I don't know what you're
(43:12):
talking about. You're a lot to be colorful, That's what
I'm trying to say. I got to use all the
colors in the range. Yes, some guys don't do that.
Some guys are just like black, red, whitey blue. I'm out,
I hear you. Don't you have some German game to
do or something like going messing up my schedule? Hut,
there's there you anyway? All right? Listen? Thank you again.
(43:36):
Tell a friend. We can double the podcast audience. I
say this, I mean it. If everyone listening, I'm talking
about you and the other person over there. If we
can all get one person to listen, just one person
to listen, to download the podcast. I don't care about
your grandma, your grandpa. I don't care if it's your
kid that doesn't care about sports. As long as they
subscribe to the podcast, we get a little bit of
(43:56):
credit automatically downloads. But we thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you for supporting the podcast. Have a great rest
of your Sunday. We'll be back inside the Magic Radio
Box with a new week of fresh content on the
Ben Maller Radio Show at eleven o'clock Pacific on Sunday night,
two am in the West. On Monday, in the middle
(44:19):
of the night early in the morning, We'll catch you.
Then be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app
Host
Ben Maller
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