August 15, 2021 • 58 mins
In search of a better mailbag, Ben and David take a deep look into the dreck that is the militia.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific
on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio appm.
If you thought more hours a day, minutes a week
(00:20):
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
starts right now in the air. Everywheares, we are back
(00:46):
at it again on the Fifth Hour Podcast, and we
are so happy to have you with it, says we
do this eight days a week. It's Sunday Sunday Sunday,
a Sunday Funday on the Fifth Hour Podcast with myself,
Ben Mallard and West of the four oh five for
(01:06):
the second consecutive weekend, David Gascon We rise and we
shine with the good Man West of the four oh five.
Here I am loud and proud, today, Yeah, with your
(01:30):
own count can sound effects? And now you didn't. I'm
proud of your baby steps. You didn't. You didn't suck
up to Cowherd in yesterday's podcast. So can you make
it to podcasts in a row that brought him up?
You brought him up? Well you listen, you at the
end a blatant violation with our with our Friday If
you didn't hear the Friday podcast we hard old college
(01:52):
football talk with Bruce Feldman, the sideline reporter for college
football on Fox, and he writes for The Athletic. He's
a well known figure in college football. And it was
going great. We nailed it. Even the Russian judge gave
us a ten. And then at the end you sullied
it by promoting Cowherd's restaurant, or did I Yeah, you did,
(02:13):
you did. It's the power of editing that I have
control over, so you never know, and maybe it's in there,
maybe it's not. Oh just a while, you tried taking
torpedo shots at me under the water. I'm I'm up
above the clouds. So you you who complain about government
over you are you are then manipulating the podcast. I
(02:37):
don't even know what's on the podcast. Yeah, I'm big brother.
I am big brother. Now, the goal of this podcast,
my goal is to do this with very few edits.
My goal is to do it like a radio show,
from start to finish, from start to finish, and if
it's all chopped up and all that. Like, I had
this battle with McBain because he you know, he added
(02:58):
a few things out. Oh he did. Yeah, And I
don't know, Well, I would just podcasting. We can leave
stuff in. But did you say that there was some
anti Semitic stuff that was fired in there that you
wanted removed? Uh, well, it was a joke that was made.
(03:19):
I'm Jewish. I was not overly offended by the joke.
Wasn't like old trope? Right, Yeah, it was like an
old trope that was made. But no, I don't. I
don't believe any malice was you know. But I guess
I'm not as a delicate as some other people, and
so I I don't. I don't really. I mean, there
are racist people or anti Semitic people, but I don't
(03:42):
get worked up or you know, I don't think the
person and we won't even say the person that said it,
but the person I do not believe had any any
of that animosity in his heart where he like hated
you know, Jewish people or whatever. I don't think that's
the case. But if you were listening to that wall
on w E E I, the station probably would have
(04:02):
been closed down, right, Like there would have been someone
that just was open arms. Well, if someone was monitoring it, yeah,
people would have been very Uh. There's always the the
triggered group of people. Well, the cool thing about the podcast,
which is a it's a blessing and a curse. Like
the radio show, there's people that listen that you're just
looking for something to listen late at night, and they
(04:24):
scan around they find the show, and that's fine. But
then on the podcast, I feel like you really have
to go out of your way to find it. You know,
it's not it's not readily available. You have to like
search my name, you have to search the fifth hour
or whatever it might be to find it. So if
you're listening to the podcast, I tend to think that
(04:44):
you're a a P one or gonna be a P one.
Maybe you're a P two or P three, but you're
eventually going to turn into a P one anyway, all right,
let's get right to the mail bag. We have a
lot of questions, a lot of questions. I hope, I
hope you have your body armor on because the malle militia. Uh,
let's see that your return was not met with tremendous reviews. Anyway,
(05:09):
Rupo from Parts Unknown says, it's been nice listening to
the fifth hour again, while he who makes Lebron James
seemingly have self esteem issues in comparison to his unbelievable
arrogance was away. Unfortunately I could tell he was back
just by reading the description of the podcast, Bring Back Ryan,
(05:33):
Bring Back McBain, says, Rupo your thoughts. That's interesting. I
wonder what title he's referencing too, by the way, Yeah,
I don't know. Well, we had this conversation in a
previous podcast about whether to put the guests the big
name on the headline of the podcast. My position is yes.
Your position is no. No. I mean that's my thought
(05:54):
process was that you you give the you give the
audience like a description, but it's just a taste. You
don't tell him what's in the what's in the box.
But you know you you have brought it to my
attention about guests and name specific searches, And I agree,
how about how about this if they have name recognition,
(06:14):
Like if somebody we had Rob Parker on last week
and a lot of Rob Parker fans. If somebody's a
Rob Parker fan looking for a little Rob Parker podcast action,
if they search his name, and they'd find his podcast,
but they wouldn't find our interview. But if you put
the name in the headline, then our show comes up
when you search for Rob park Right. And I understand
because last Sunday, the title of the of the description
(06:37):
of the title and description of the podcast from last
Sunday title was cry Babies and the description was more
wanting and complaining from the Toothless, So I can understand
why someone wants to know that I'm returning. So yeah,
So then when somebody searches Toothless, they would find our podcast.
And I did see. I went back and I looked
(06:58):
through some of the old podcasts and you had Easter
was on there? You had Easter on there, right or
so Happy Easter. I think we did an Easter show.
I think we did. So then I'm thinking like some
religious folks, you know, god fearing people would search for
an Easter related podcast and hear us reading email from people,
(07:21):
and nine times out of ten it's just pure defecation. Yea,
exactly exactly. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that's not gonna play
well on the Bible belt. What's true? That's true? Alright,
Mark Mark in Ottawa, right, so, and he says, this
is for David. Have you ever slept with a woman?
And if so, how much did she charge? From Mark
(07:42):
in Ottawa? There and you never pay, well, you pay
in some way. You always pay some way. Mark. I
know you're not familiar with the the other female species,
uh in those parts of town. But in the end,
you always pay dinner, drinks, it's goods and services. I
think it's yeah, it's all try action on the end. Yeah,
it's it's the ebb and flow. It's the yin and
(08:04):
the yang of of life. Now, women would argue they
also have to pay because they have to hang out
with a bunch of ugly dudes. But they gotta put
on makeup and do their hair and shave. They all
get all dolled up in the process. All right. Pierre
in Springfield says, Ben, I know that you get frustrated
(08:27):
when corporate Garcia, Coop and Roberto take days off. You
obviously get flummixed when Ned Flanders does his twenty eight
minute trending segments at the bottom of the hour, and
when Gascon only takes two calls from females over a
four hour shift. That's right, I remember that. Are you
thrown off when Chris perfect bombards your monologue with various drops? God,
(08:53):
he says, Roberto has learned to pick his spots, but
it seems like Chris has an itchy trigger finger. Well, Pierre,
that's a great question. First of all, I try to
just focus on what I'm trying to convey to you
as the listener, and too much it's it's it's there's
like a finite amount of podcasting or not, but monologue drops,
(09:17):
which are good, but they should be rare and appropriate
the monologue drops and oftentimes, uh, they they are not,
and it becomes problematic. And Roberto has been pretty good.
He'll ring the bell usually that means he agrees with me.
If he doesn't ring the bell, he doesn't agree with
my my position. Um, but but yeah, I've Actually it's
(09:41):
it's weird thing like I don't mind it because I
just keep going you know, I've got some bullet points
and I just kind of, you know, throw everything together
in my head and put it all together, connect the dots.
But I have gotten people over the years that have complained,
I loved your show, but the drops. I can't listen
because of the drops. But then there's other people that
(10:02):
love the drops and want they want drops, like bringing
home Jerome from Kansas City, like he loved, you know,
to make the Baba gaos. You know, he screamed that out.
That's a drop. He's got a drop. Uh. And so
to some of our our big p one fans here
for you, it's like this is a big thing. I
would think that would be awesome. Like when I growing up,
(10:24):
when I listened to radio, I could have my voice
as a drop on a syndicated radio show. That would
have been amazing, even a local show, it doesn't matter.
It would have been awesome. But it has a very
polarizing subject that drops. It really is, at least on
monologues because you're trying to talk and get a thought
and idea out. But yeah, I just you know, you
(10:45):
look at who's doing it, and it's like, all right,
it makes sense. We got fats in Philly. Who's next?
I love Fats. I gotta hang out with him sometime.
I gotta do it. Fats as a parte, And I'm
so glad he found our show, he says Mallard. What
other Mala militia personality would be an absolute disaster if
I were paired up with them on a weekend in
(11:07):
Vegas over under on how many hours before? We would
be detained in a holding cell? All right, so let's
see here Fats in Philly. Well, I think you and
Regina would be trouble Regina and spend Psycho Regina, because
Regina told the story she somehow is out at a
(11:30):
at like a bar, and she ended up at on
a party bus for a bachelor party, which can only
imagine what happened on the on the on the party bus.
So that and then also Fats, like there's some of
our guys, like I've met Blair in Maine, and Blair
is a great guy. But you can lead Blair down
the garden path. So whatever Fats does, Blair will do also,
(11:52):
which could be dangerous. I'm trying to think who else
would be Marcel in Brooklyn? Can you imagine Marcel? Oh?
Doc Mike All. So Doc Mike right. You know you
go out with Doc. Doc's eating a salad, drinking some
piss and then Fats is eating a cheese steak in
one hand. You know, he's got a plate of a
deep fried calamari in the other and he's just going
(12:15):
for and then lighting himself on fire. Yeah, lighting himself
on fire, pulling his pains down, showing his free willie,
his anaconda. Well, it's not really an anticon. It's more
like a baby snake. But to everyone, to everyone name
so anyway kid, because I care. Jason from Rocky Mount,
Virginia writes it, Jason hooked me up with a Salem
(12:36):
Red Sox hat, which he's in my rotation. In my rotation,
he says, any more coyotes sightings at the Halfway House?
And do you think you will see any in your
new Mallard mansion in a few weeks. Well, first of all,
I've not seen a coyote since the attack. Bella is
doing great. She's getting her stitches out soon, she'll be
(13:00):
She's completely back to over. It's one of the most
amazing things. Bella was on My dog Bellow was on
her deathbed. We thought we were gonna lose her. And
even when we took her back after the operation, for
a couple of days no movement. She was a lifeless creature.
And within three or four days she was back hopping
up and down and doing her things. So it's it's
(13:24):
crazy how quick that turned around. And it's great. And
as far as the other place, this county is everywhere.
Now where I'm living at the halfway House is closer
to them, to the mountains, so that's why there's more coyotes.
I've also noticed a little life hack. The day you
have to be most concerned about coyotes is trash Day.
(13:46):
The trash the counties don't have a calendar app on
their on their iPhone, but they know they are aware
of when trash day is and they they come out
looking for food when it's trash day because they oh,
there's it's like the grocery store. They can get all
kinds of food. Um. Anyway, So that's that's the coyote story.
Carlos in Bang Bang Houston, Texas rights and he says, Ben,
(14:10):
you're a smart guy. Well that's a great email. Carlos,
thank you for writing that email. We appreciate it. Uh,
and that's that you didn't need to add anymore. But
there's always more. He says, maybe you can answer this
one for me. Why do the owners cry to these
politicians to pony up money for a new stadium? Aren't
they rich enough to buy a new one? And so
(14:31):
that's the first question. He has a second question, Well, yeah,
of course these billionaires could own a stadium, and they
could finance the stadium, and they could raise the ticket
prices to get people to pay the stadium, pay for
the stadium. But there's a term. It's corporate welfare. Is
(14:52):
the is the term, right? And if you're rich enough
and powerful enough, you can pay for lobbyists who will
then buy off politicians and give you all kinds of
tax breaks, legal loopholes, and it's it's one of the
great con games because owning a sports team it is
(15:14):
a public trust, right, That's what people Most people look
at sports teams as part of the community. It's past
that you you're a steward for the team, but you
don't own the team. Forever you're gonna die, someone else
is gonna own the team. You don't really own it, right,
you're just looking after it for the next generation that follows,
and it's a communal thing that you know, I my
my parents are passed away. They went to Dodger games.
(15:37):
I go to Dodger games. You know, the next generation
after me we'll go to Dodger games. And so it's
that kind of thing. Um. But they know they do
it because they can. They know they can get free money.
Why would you turn down free money. The problem is
with the politicians giving the free money away. That's the
issue there. But to ask for it, it's the same
(15:59):
boiler plate. It's it's paint by numbers, it's you gotta
you go to the politicians, try to make a deal.
They say no, right, they say no. So then you
go public and threaten to relocate, saying you don't have
enough money for the stadium. Uh, saying you can't do it,
and you can't raise the ticket prices. Uh. And you
you play the same game. And then the Oakland A's
(16:19):
are doing it right now. Right, The A's want a
new stadium. They've been trying for years and it's never
good enough. Right the you know, the Bay Area politics
is a mess. But they did put some things forward
to give them some of what they wanted to build
the taj Mahal Stadium. Wasn't good enough. Right, These owners
want the Candelabra like Liberachi had right anyway, want everything
(16:43):
and uh and so they have to threaten to move
to Vegas or Portland, Oregon or wherever until they get
what they want. And they know the other thing they
know is that if they can't get the tax break,
the sweetheart deal where they want, there's always some other
local municipality that will be opening up their wallets and
handing out money. So that's my my take on that, Carlos.
(17:08):
And he also says, you you say you're a sucker
for minor league hats, will you wear one of the
Strows minor league affilly? Well, as long as there is
no reference to the Astros, I see why I would
have I wouldn't have a problem with that. My my
problem is with the Astros. These minor league teams are
(17:31):
I believe, independently owned most part. Yeah, so i I've
got the minor league system here for the s s Rows.
They have a team. One of their affiliates is called
the Fayetteville Woodpeckers. I loved Woody Woodpecker when I was
a kid. Are you gonna say, can you say pecker?
(17:53):
Is that allowed? I don't know. I don't know, all right? Uh.
And and they have a team called the sugar Land Skeeters.
I'd love that because one of our callers from Montana
is Skeeter in Montana. What's the team color? Uh? Let
me see here. Let me click on the the logo,
but let me see. I guess see what kind of
(18:14):
hats there? And I normally try to wear hats that
have an M or a B on them. The colors
are yellow like it looks like I guess the Skeeter
is a B and then it's blue. So let me
go to the team. See here's Skeeters hat. We're doing
this live. You listen to our live coverage. Yes, we're
(18:37):
looking at a MLB show. You know what, I've noticed
a lot of these minor league teams I can't get.
I cannot get hats in my size because they don't
there's a shortage of the production chain is not right. Um,
like the size eight. A lot of these websites don't
have size eight, which is my my size. Uh. Yeah,
(18:57):
Like they have a hat here with a B on it.
I'd wear that. That's a good looking hat. I'd even
wear the one with the Texas silhouette on it, but
I wouldn't wear the one the s l I don't
think I would wear. I think I would wear that
the skeeter lend. I don't think I would do that one.
Um anyway, that's thank you for the question. Carlos Vols
fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee says, if you had a
(19:20):
lifetime supply of the last thing you bought, what would
it be for you? And Mr insubordination? All right, So
the last thing I bought was a voice processor, which
I have yet I've yet to install. My voice processor
has been dying, and so I ponied up the money.
(19:42):
Actually bought a voice processor before. It didn't work and
so I had to return it. And this is a
so voice proces So I'd be rich in voice processors,
which only works if you have a radio show to do.
Otherwise it is a rather completely useless piece of equipment. Uh, gascon,
what's the last thing about? I'm happy to report the
(20:03):
last thing I bought was gasoline. You'd be rich in gasoline,
my man. Man, I'd be like one of those hoarders
that bottle those and masks early on the pandemic and
then just started, you know, snaking people for him and
selling him for a massive profit. I've been doing that
with gasoline, toilet paper, and you can do that also
(20:25):
hand sanitizer. It did not take long. It did not
take long for a mash shortage of toilet paper, hand
sanitizer and all that stuff. Which imagine if something eventually, eventually,
something else is going to happen, and the same it's
that flight fight or flight reference that human beings have
(20:47):
animalistic and you know it's gonna something will happen again, right, Yeah, man,
it happened here in l A with ammunition like you
couldn't buy. You still can't buy nine millimeter bullet Like
as soon as these stores get them, they're sold out
and they put a cap on how many rounds you
can buy per day. And the prices have really doubled
(21:11):
on ammunition. It's crazy how much I've never bought ammunition.
I don't know how how much does uh? If I
want to get a box, how much like a box
of bullets? Yeah, so for nine millimeter you have to
buy them in fifties. So I bought um like a
week ago, I bought a hundred rounds for nine millimeter
hollow point. It was eighty eight dollars. Probably two years
(21:33):
ago or a year ago, it was like closer to
sixty five sixty six, and you're capped at it, so
you can only you're only allowed to buy two hundred
rounds per day, alright, So you buy two hundred a
day at the end of the week, you got a
fair amount. If there's if they're still an inventory like
they don't. They don't stock a lot of nine millimeter
(21:54):
for that specific reason. So first blue as the state is,
I think it's closer to purple than just great blue.
We got a lot of people out of rock and firearms,
and there there are pockets. One of the reasons people
were talking about breaking up California, Like in Fresno, Baker's Field,
that's that's that's like Republican country. Yeah, right, it's it.
It's l a San Francisco proper and obviously San Diego
(22:20):
where it's more. But even San Diego, like Orange Counties,
it's shifted a little bit since I lived there. It's
still more like Huntington's Beach. That area is more Republican.
San Diego. I think there's a lot of When I
lived and I worked in San Diego, I thought there
was a lot of people more conservative in San Diego
because the military town Camp Pendleton and all that. So
(22:45):
did you see San Francisco is applying the same mandates
that New York is now to to their indoor and
outdoor facilities. I did not. Yeah, so they're they're making
it a requirement to be COVID vaccinated and show proof,
which is amazing because now it's harder to go into
a restaurant in San Francisco than it is to go
(23:06):
into a Rite Aid and just steal a hundred dollars
worth of of supplies in medicine. It's amazing. Wow. There
you go, Well, when are you moving to San Francisco
but that place, and yeah, you're not. You're not moving there.
So I'm not going to San Francisco, New York City
or Chicago anytime soon. Yeah. Right. Should be sure to
(23:27):
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch
live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and
the I Heart Radio ap again and the people making
the decision that they often don't even follow their own rules,
which is a whole different different things. So anyway, all right,
(23:53):
what is next year? Page down? Page down? These are
actual emails from Actually, did you get anything from Tammy
or Rock Sane or no? No, no one, none, no no.
We did get a message from just Josh's wife, Nicole,
A lovely lady, she's she said, My question is about
your fast thing. Oh, welcome in now, she says, I
(24:15):
don't remember you ever talking about the eating part of it.
How many hours do you eat before you start your
next fast? If it's several hours, do you eat big
meals or just get as much in as you can
in the allotted hours? All right, so Nicole, thank you
for the question. Now let me preface this with a disclaimer.
You should never take dietary advice from a radio guy podcaster.
(24:40):
What do I know, I'm an idiot. But with that said,
here's here's what I do. So my move on this
is I during the week, I only eat one meal
and I try to eat in one hour within one hour,
So like I will, I'll give you an example this
past week. I ate Sunday, I had lunch. I finished
(25:05):
eating at about two o'clock because we went to a
flea market, which I should have talked about that on
the other podcast, but I forgot, uh so we we
ended up going eating. It ended at two o'clock and
then I ate again on I think it was four
o'clock on Tuesday, and then I ate a big meal
(25:27):
and I had like, I had a snack within I
ate a meal, waited about fifteen twenty minutes and then
they like a little bit of a snack, and then
I started at five o'clock I started fasting again. So
but on the weekends, I will I will eat. I
have a longer window to eat on the weekends because
otherwise I think my wife would divorce me. So um. So,
(25:48):
you know, it was eating was a big part of
the socializing and all. That's a big part of eating.
And so I'll normally eat lunch, and you know, I
give myself about six hours or so I'll eat lunch
and then later on I'll have have dinner. So four
or five six hours something like that enough time where
the food can settle in and then you can be
(26:09):
ready to eat another meal. So that's the the deal
on that. Uh Matt from La Mesa, California says, what's up, fellas?
First off, f al Tube says, Ben, you probably won't
read this on the air, but it's good to have
gas Can back. It's a breath of fresh air. That'll
be edited out of the podcast. He says, Ryan sounded
(26:32):
like an a one wokester. His take on taxes had
me screaming in my car. Ryan's not a Wokester's not woke. No.
I I liked run. I had a good time working
with it, right. I mean, Ryan's probably a little uh
you know, separate from me politically, but Ryan's an introvert
and I got along with him great. I can run
(26:53):
a lot. He's a good guy, which is funny. What
the funk? It's weird. He's like your size, he's like
six five six six, and yeah, he's just he's a
massive introverts pretty funny. Yeah, look good for him. It's
a proper way to live life. He says. When you
guys retire, what's the first thing you guys are going
to do? I'm I'm not really planning on retiring. I
don't know, And you know, it's one of those things
(27:16):
the quote God laughs at you when you're making plans
about retiring. It would be nice if I had enough
money to not have to have the grind every day
and maybe just do a once a week podcast or
something like that, or do a weekend show or that
would be kind of cool as I wind down. But
as long as they'll have me. And I got plenty
(27:37):
of bills to pay, and I got even more bills
now after I'm moving to the new house. So yeah,
I think I would. I think I would track down
I'm a pilot and let him know I'm purchasing a
first class ticket on his next flight out to Europe.
I've not heard from I'm a pilot. I believe you
chased him away. He has not emailed me, he has
not contacted in any way. He would send these long
(28:00):
emails giving us great travel logs. I was living my
travel life through him. Yeah, but I'm not. He's got
from family, he's got kids, maybe there's certain school, and
he's got other priorities. Right now, listen, we are his
audio family. We are I'm a Pilot's audio family. Yeah,
but he knows we're stable. We're here, We're not going
anywhere the family, and you've got all kinds of things
(28:21):
going on right now, I don't know. Nothing lasts forever,
Alan from Ohio. Right then, he says, assuming that the
cast of the Ben Mallor Show is fully vaccinated, why
are you still broadcasting from home? He said, the question
when you are not in question. Well, this is the
part where he loses me. He says, when you are
not in studio, it seems like the chemistry of the
show is just a bit off. Love the show from Alan,
(28:43):
business in the show sucked for two years. Yeah, for
the last two years, I have been broadcasting from my
home studio and uh, spoiler alert, Alan, guess what when
I'm in the studio, I can't see Coop and I
can't see Eddie. The only one I can see is Roberto.
So it's not like this affects the chemistry of the
(29:03):
show at all. That's one of the reasons, you know.
I had a conversation with the management about this, and
it's like, this show is perfect to do because from
home for me a convenience. But but be it does
not affect the quality in any way. Uh, it does
not affect the quite other than the line occasionally going out,
and that's obviously in a perfect world that would not happen.
(29:26):
But the company and and radio companies decided to get
rid of the hard I SDN line, which was a
solid broadcast line which very rarely went down, and instead
we use a different setup to connect and it's it's
a less reliable set up, um, and it's been pretty reliable,
but you know, we have usually once a month there'll
be some kind of bump in the road and all that.
(29:47):
Plus you have plus you you produce your own content.
And on top of that, the same update is played
every thirty minutes pretty much, uh, pretty pretty much. So yeah,
which is frustrating because I when I did that, I
would try to change it up and put new and
always search for news story. But you know, yeah, what
(30:08):
are you gonna do? I'm not, I'm not. It's not
my decision. Uh, Dan from Stoughton is that it s
t O U g H t O N. Where's that?
I think it's in? Uh, I want to say, hold
on the same. I think it's in Massachusetts. But I'm
just pulling that out of my ass. Let me see here,
(30:30):
Oh it's in Wisconsin. Bad job by me, at least
according to the Internet, it's in there might be one.
And see here's the thing, there's probably like much of
city's name stut but Hollywood's in Florida, hollywoods in California.
According to this, Stoughton is a city in Dane County, Wisconsin.
It straddles the Yahara River about twenty miles southeast of
(30:50):
the state capital of Madison. Population is uh thirteen thousand,
sixty the population and so it's it's kind of the
southern part Wisconsin, not too far from the the Illinois border.
And see anybody famous come out of this town, anybody
(31:14):
that would impress. A lot of Wisconsin state representatives have
come out of there. Uh, Nobel Prize Laureate. That doesn't
really do much for us. Any athletic people, entertainers. Gail Gillingham,
Green Bay Packers Hall of Famer. I don't know who
that is. Graham Elwood, a comedian. I've never heard of that.
(31:35):
Jerry Fry, head coach of the Oregon Ducks football team,
NFL assistant coach. Uh yeah, a lot of political people,
not a lot. Not a lot of people I've heard
of here, unfortunately. Okay. Uh. My theory is that every
town has at least one famous person that's come out
of there that I would know. But this town would
be the exception of the rule. Anyway, Dan says, when
(31:55):
will blind Scott be suspended for conduct detrimental to the show? Um? Well, listen,
blind Scott likes to stir it up. He's a rock.
Uh you know, he he throws crap against the fan. Um.
But I I would argue that blind Scott he hasn't
risen quite to that level. He likes tacking shots at
Eddie and Roberto. That's his new thing here. But he
(32:16):
thinks he's he's He said he was doing a parody
of Chris of Chris Cromo's brother, the former governor of
New York there, Andrew Cuomo. So he was doing his
his thing. Richard in Edawah, Tennessee, says, hey ben and
deuced canoe Gagon. I was in the army for eight
years to deployments. That's a long I was wondering if
(32:37):
any one of you guys or in your families served
in the military. Uh. Yes, I have one of my
my uncle, uncle Harvey, who passed away a couple of
years ago. He was in in the military. He was
drafted during Vietnam and he served in the military, and
(33:00):
I think on my my wife's side, there's there's some.
And then when I was a kid, I had at
a family reunion. We had a relative who lived in
Israel and was like a general in the Israeli Air Force,
and he he came, I remember as a child and spoke.
But not not a big military family. I mean there's
(33:22):
been a few, but not many. What about you. Yeah,
both of my both of my grandfather's were drafted. In fact,
my grandfather and my mom's side, he fought in the
Korean War. He was he was an army pilot. So
after that war was over, he migrated from Boston to
uh to sunny southern California. And then I grew up
(33:43):
in through college. I had a bunch of buddies like
my buddy Greg and Kevin and Ryan there they were
Navy brats, so they were in the Navy for quite
a while and then they got out, but they were
they called San Diego home for a bit. See. I
got a lot of people at least close close to
me that that's served to you military and some kind
of capacity. In fact, I have a I have a
(34:04):
nephew that might be going to the Air Force Academy
in Rhode Island. But he's actually contemplating right now because
he's a kid and really smart talented. But if they
require service officers to get vaccinated, he doesn't know if
he's gonna do it because he's been reading a lot
of stuff about pilots being grounded after they got the
(34:26):
COVID nineteen vaccination. So he doesn't know if he's gonna
do it. So it's unfortunate, but yeah, thanks for your service.
All right, now, let's see what else do we have
your page down? Page down? Eric and Omaha, Nebraska. Right,
So he says, bad job by you? Is that a
malor original? Or did you pick that up from someone else?
(34:49):
I have found myself using it very often in my
everyday vocabulary, so much so that my girlfriend and kids
say it. Now, Uh, that's your kids saying that to you,
bad job by you? Yeah, that's funny. Uh No, that's
not that's not a Mallard original. I I don't remember
when I started saying that. I mean, there's a there's
a number of people that that that have said that
(35:12):
over the years. I uh, I don't remember who I
you know who who had said that? Obviously I heard
it somewhere and then I just kind of stuck with
me and I started using it and repeating it and whatnot.
Uh Yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't know where
I found that from. I would give credit to the
person if there was one in particular person. People said,
(35:34):
some people say Chris Russo from Mike and the Mad Dog.
But I didn't listen to Mike and the Mad Dog,
So I don't. I don't. It wasn't him. It was
somebody else that uh that that said along the way,
and it was years ago. I've been saying that since
for twenty years. I've probably been saying that. So m
I don't. I don't remember specifically, Uh where where I
(35:57):
got that from? Uh? This is uh let's see here.
I'm glad your family says it. That's that's nice. Uh
this is barbed from Massachusetts. She says, when is COVID
going to be over? Laughing my ass off. Yeah, Uh,
COVID will never be over bar because it's gonna be
here forever and just people are gonna have to learn
to deal with it. And until people learn to deal
(36:20):
with it, and it's not. We've got to get to
the point where it's not news when somebody gets COVID.
It's only news when they get COVID and they have
a bad illness, you know, because I've had I talked
to one of old friends, Eric, who's an old Fox
Sports radio guy, who's a radio programmer, and he said
he had the COVID and he was telling me, you know,
(36:41):
he was very mild and and all that, and but
for that, I don't I don't think we need to
stop the world for that. It's if you know people
that have the bad reactions to it, then it's becomes
Newsworth or like, yeah, any kind of adverse effects from
from getting any kind of treatment to from it. Uh.
Fred in Spring, Texas says, did you guys ever have
(37:04):
a job offer you turned down and later regretted it? Now?
I can't say that, Fred. I can't tell you that.
I've had several jobs that I thought I was getting
that at the last minute, at the eleventh hour, I
didn't get And I often wonder what my life would
be like if I had gotten one of those jobs
(37:24):
I was. I was back in oh nine when the
Tiger Wood scandal broke. I was in talks with TMZ
to run when they were gonna launch t MZ Sports,
and I had gotten a phone call that I was
gonna be hired and that that they were gonna call
me again the next day with the details. And uh,
I'm still waiting for that phone call. Uh. And then
(37:46):
uh I did. Also when I got let go from
Fox Sports Radio, I was brought into ESPN. Uh. They
flew me into Bristol and I met with executives at
ESPN for three days and they were gonna they were
gonna hire me. And then they first time in that
at that point, first time since ESPN launched they had
ever had layoffs. And it happened to be the week
(38:08):
that I was there in Bristol, Connecticut, and so they said,
we can't hire you because we're you know, the company
is now laying off people. So I've had bad time.
What about you, guys? Yeah, you really That West Virginia
gig would have been great. The China job would have
been wonderful. You could have gone to China, you would
have ran, you know, the Chinese government would have been great. Well,
(38:29):
I haven't had anything like that that's been in the
sports world. More so, like when I was in banking.
But yeah, no, nothing in the sports world that I
can I can say. It's been a constant fucking hustle.
So not there yet. Not there yet, my mayam, you
gotta do the hustle. Mall Man, all right, let's keep
(38:50):
going here. Who do we have leave from the Valley
of the Sun. He says, Hello, Ben? Did he spell
his name right? And I will say hello to gag
On since he is always thinking about me. I can't
spell cat. Hey, Hey, Lee, I got a question for you. Lee.
I know you can't answer it, but you sent out
a photo was your your daughter's birthday and beautiful young
lady and you said my favorite daughter. Does that mean
(39:12):
she's your only daughter? Because because who's is she also
your least favorite daughter? I mean, how does that work?
I don't know. I have no idea anyway, He says,
I've heard you use a Mama Luke. Here's another question
about the mallar lingo that I use Mama luke. Can
you tell me how that started and what what that means? Well, yes, yes,
(39:33):
the term Mama Luke is a homage. It is a
tribute too. Martin Scorsese's Raging Bull and it is a
slang term of I guess Italian origins, right. It means
loser or a bum. You're a mama luke. And when
I say that, it's another way of you know, insulting you.
(39:55):
And I could say you're you're a big dummy or
an idiot, or I can call yeah MoMA luke. Um.
You know. So that that's that's all. That is just
another way to call someone a loser. Another word, which
I don't use enough is ragamuffin. That's a good word.
It's a solid word. Um. There's a there's a bunch
of those. I know. Tony Bruno uses strapper. You're a strapper,
(40:18):
which is like a South Philly slang term which means loser.
Toolbag is another one that's pretty good. I like shmendrick.
I use that one a lot. Loggerhead um. So yeah,
that's that's an example there. So thank you Lee Mike
from Venice. Right, so, and he says, Ben, if you
(40:39):
can't travel anywhere in the world, where would it be
And do you like going to the beach? I do
like going to the beach, although I like having a
tent so I'm not completely exposed to the sun. But
I absolutely love going to the beach. I have not
been able to go much this summer at all because
of my my living situation, but I love it. And
(41:00):
I don't do radio in New Zealand anymore. That gig ended.
But I would love to go to New Zealand, uh
and and check that out. And my wife is dying
to take me to Europe and travel around Europe, so
I have to get there at some point. And she's
got her famili's in Italy, uh so I'd like to
to go check out. It'll have a great things about Italy.
(41:20):
Like to check that out. And I have family in Israel.
I don't know that I want to go to the
Middle East, but I don't know. Maybe some day down
the line. Who knows. Man, it's gonna be tough for you.
If if she does convince you to go to Italy
and you guys do go during the summer, I don't know, man,
I don't know if you can handle it. The heat
is just awful. It's it's like palm desert and Florida
(41:44):
mixed into one, as hot and humid as shit. Yeah,
you'll be sweating balls. Yeah, I'm sure that, sure, I would.
I mean, I've been. I've been in the South, I've
been in hell, New York in the summer and all man,
how holy crap with all those trash cans and everything
else in the streets just building up. Oh my god.
(42:07):
Every year the Dodgers would go to play the Mets.
It's ironic because this weekend the Dodgers are playing the
Mets in New York. It was always it was always
the early August. Usually the US Open was going on
at Arthur Ashe Stadium, the newly name, relatively newly named.
It wasn't called that when I was going there, and
uh yeah, the smells, stench, just disgusting. Yeah, my wife
(42:35):
hated that about it. She's very sensitive to smells and
just this disguss. But now everyone wears masks. I guess
Jesus Chris and Marracoca to Iowa says, what is the
secret to happiness? Yes's go not trying to look for happiness. Yeah,
(42:57):
I just live your just live your life. Just you know,
just hang out with people that love you, people that
like you. Have friends, uh, you know, have have something
that keeps you busy and and feels you. It gives
you a sense of accomplishment. I think human beings need
to do something that gives them a sense of accomplishment,
whatever that might be, whether it's a job or playing
video games or whatever. And not putting pineapple on your pizza.
(43:19):
That's it? Wow? All right? Uh next one, Ben and Gascon.
Good to hear the west of the four or five
guy back in the guest Gascon and Ben said it
much better than Ryan and Ben. I believe Ben is
coming up with his one year anniversary. I don't know
who sent this. By the way, I didn't get a
(43:39):
name on this. Uh one year anniversary since his crime
scene incident at the park restroom. How does it feel, Ben,
any thoughts on the memories? Uh? Well, I have actually relocated.
I do not live near that bathroom, so I have
moved away from the scene of the crime. So I
(44:02):
am no longer I am no longer there. I'm glad
that you remember though the the anniversary. I do not
remember the niversity. Oh, I think this is our friend
from from Denver. I believe this is Adrian from from Denver.
I believe I think this is him. So anyway, he says,
um and I asked about memories. I have no memories.
(44:23):
He says. My family and I were at the Adams
County Fair in Colorado on Friday, and I was repping
the show again with the Mallard T shirt. You know
it's my it's summertime when you have a lemonade in
one hand and a turkey leg in the other. What
are your guy's favorite fair foods? I love the fair
(44:46):
is tremendous, and I love the corn dog, the size
of the forearm, which is wonderful, and sampling some of
the different deep fried foods that they have, but I
usually get the same foods I get elsewhere, like the
big Philly cheese steak, and everything's oversized and deep fried
and and just wonderful. Yeah, like I get sometimes I've
(45:08):
had the fried donut holes. Those are good. Yeah yeah.
The giant pretzels are always my favorite, though beer yeah
those are. You gotta get that cheese to dip it
in though, that's oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, all right,
Thank you, Adrian, and I'm glad you had a good time.
Though there's a story I cannot tell. Adrian had a
(45:31):
very bad experience with a car rental company in California
that has terrible customer service. But I don't. He doesn't
want me to talk about that, so I would. Man
if he gives me the green light, I will, I
will bring up his store. But I unfortunately he asked
for my help and I don't. I don't. I was
not able to help him, so I wish I could.
(45:53):
And I didn't even bother asking you because you're west
of the four oh five. Anyway. This is from Helen
and Stu in Palmetto Bay, Florida. All the Diaper Wears
says grocery shopping. I heard over the store speaker the
theme song for cops playing. I immediately thought of David Gascon. Yeah, Helen,
thinking about the family. What's up, Helen. A few clicks
(46:15):
show that Chief Gascon was wait for it, Ben, chief
of media relations. It's not a real cop, Helen says.
Political appointee Helen his world class dipshit, A political appoint
team from the current sheriff at the time. Could you
imagine being that stupid like Andy giving Barney a gun
(46:36):
and one bullet to keep in the uniform. Let me
tell let me tell you something, Helen. He was more
successful what he did professionally in thirty two years than
you ever have been in your decrepit life. All right,
come down, let me just tell you that, Helen, what
a fucking idiot. All right, we liked your dad. Come down. Uh,
the email continues, A long time, no right, spent July
(46:58):
four in a few weeks, nan Tucket with our our daughter,
her husband, and our perfect nine month old grandson, Bentley
with Stu and I already secretly, uh we secretly called Ben.
So oh yeah, Bentley, you can call. That's yeah, great, Jesus,
that's a tremendous way. I love them more, uh, she says.
(47:21):
Then back to New York and now back to Florida,
where a as fully vaccinated people we hope not to
die because of the worst governor in the US, Ron
Ron de Santis. There, dotorry, Andrew Cuomo is perfectly pristine
and clean. Don't worry about that, Ellen, there's quite a
(47:43):
race for the worst governor title. The young lady in
Michigan could chime in, and she could certainly join the
conversation that now, don't worry. She could. She's lucky, though,
I mean, the alternative to having the Santis was um gosh,
I forget his name. The other candidate that was passed
out after being hammered and with a male prostitute. I
(48:06):
forget his name. Was that the CNN contributor? Is that
the one that was on CNN? Maybe I don't know.
I don't know more Helen speed, I guess it sounds
like anyway, Helen says, fear not. The Ben Mallor Show
and the Fifth Hour are in the air wherever stew
and I go, Well, thank you Jesus, I appreciate that.
And hey, listen, those downloads count Gascon. You can rip
(48:28):
Helen and stew All they want, but those downloads count.
I know. Just the first sixties seconds is all I
need from Helen before our two part questions some brief housekeeping,
our best and dear to Bella. Our best and dear
Bella assumed that Gascon was the most predatory wolf on
the planet. Uh thought by the time, by this time,
(48:50):
gas Con would have been permanently gas gone. She thought
Gascon's alleged illness, we know it was not exhaustion. According
to Helen, more about this next week, but just for
the Gascon potty mouth record, I am sixty two, she says,
and Stu is sixty one with a black belt in
(49:13):
Brazilian jiu jitsu, and we're something. Gascon will never become
self made wealthy. How about that, guest? You see that
good for them? It's good for you guys, all right.
I don't know how much you take of that to
the grave, all right. The but these these guys, let
me tell you, Helen and Stu, I wonder if they're
(49:33):
like investigators because the wait till you hear the next
part of the email here, Uh, this gets personal, Ben,
Did you know that Gascon isn't even the best athlete
or accomplished sibling in his own family. His sister, Sarah
is a world class athlete, team captain of the U
S national women's handball team and has played all over
(49:55):
the world, including the Pan American Games and as a
college volleyball and softball star. Elected into her college Sports
Hall of Fame. She also plays professionally with Team Rogue
I guess and has real endorsement deals, and she has
a PhD from Auburn, making her doctor. Sarah Gascon obviously
(50:21):
the work harder Gene missed her underachieving brother David. Uh
the felt right, Swatts, you know that's the luxture that
I have is that people can can look us up
since we're semi public figures some capacity. But you know what,
you always have to be careful because when you start,
(50:44):
you know, lifting up the hood of other cars, those
owners don't always like it. There's always retaliation that comes
along the way. Oh okay, so I'll just I'll just
leave it at that. UM. I would always recommend people
to tread lightly when you try to uh, you know,
you try to look under those those hoods a little
(51:06):
threatening here those Yeah, it could be alright. Two part questions.
Don't worry Stu is a black belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu.
I'm very worried about that. All right, Ben and Gascon?
Uh he said? She says Ben Gascon has been burying
the True Family lead. Will you interview Sarah? If she
(51:27):
does well? Will you replace Gascon with her? It looks
like she's done some major media commentary. How great would
that be? There you go, and that is from Helen
and Stu. And then she says, did she just play
in the Tokyo Olympics? And I don't think they made
the Olympics, right, they didn't qualified. But there you go.
(51:49):
Your favorite couple from Palmetto Bay Florida gascon big fans.
I don't know anything about Stu. Well you just learned
he's sixty two, our sixty one and uh and black
belt in Brazilian jujitsus not enough? Not enough self made millionaires?
Is that what she said? Her self made wealthy? Yeah?
(52:10):
I don't know how they made their money, but good
for them. I'm happy they made money. I want to
I want to be a self made millionaire. That would
be nice, would be I want to live their life.
I when I'm in my sixties, I want to be
Helen and Stu. They're living the life that I want
to live. Right, You spend some time you live in Florida,
nice place to get a nice place. They're probably a
golf course, because everyone lives on a golf course in Florida. Uh,
(52:30):
you know, travel to New York, you know, hang out
with the relatives, have a great time. It sounds like
a wonderful life to me. It sounds like a wife
will live. Yeah, you guys have to be in Tampa though,
Like you don't? Yeah? You, you and the mists can't
be anywhere near fucking Miami. What's wrong? I've been to Miami?
What's wrong? With Miami, just saying your wife would be
a firecracker in Miami. I think she'd have a really
(52:50):
good time. Oh like the South Beach, Yes, I think
your wife would have a really good time. I think
you'd be Are you saying I'm more up to like
the Panhandle? I can handle that more. I think it's
just more your speed. I think it's just Jacksonville, like Jacksonville,
now Tampa Bay. I think I Tampa Bay. Alright, alright,
Jennifer from Richmond, Virginia writes in She says, Hi, Ben,
(53:13):
I just arrived after a short two hour drive to
see in concert uh Stain and the headlining group Corn.
What are your favorite songs from both those groups? Well? Uh,
stay right, that's the nineties man, right? Uh? I think
(53:33):
that song that got played a ton back in the day.
It's been a while, wasn't that? Was that their biggest song?
I don't know. I'm bad with I don't have the
music gene. I like music, but I don't have the
music gene. Oh what about Corn? Any Corn song Freak
on a Leash or something like that. I don't. I can't.
I'm not good with names of songs either. I'm bad
(53:54):
at this, Jennifer, Sorry, I wish I could I could
help you out. I don't out. It's one of those things.
It's like porn. I'll know what when I see it.
I'll know it when I hear it. You know. The
thing that annoys my wife is I just when I
listen to music, I love the rhythm. You know, I
don't really listen to the lyrics. My wife listens to
(54:15):
the lyrics, and so if they have songs have dumb lyrics,
she'll get you know, she'll get upset, like, well, why
are you listening as a lyrics are stupid? I'm like, why,
I like to the beat to it. It's gonna get
a little beat to it. Yeah, all right, we'll do
a couple more. A lot of email this week. The
email bag filled up. Kevin in Kansas says all is
(54:38):
right in the world, David is back in the sideshair,
and your show crew is spot on. Football is right
around the corner, and a baseball races are heating up.
What would either of you like to add to the stew?
That is a good life. I'd like to have like
an extra day off a week, That's what I would
(55:00):
the half a little more downtime would be good, just
one day, not more than one day. I got like
a day and a half right now of downtime. So
that's about it. Anything gask On you want to add
like a full schedule, that'd be that'd be good. Yeah, yea,
some things you can do to get that here. Cliff
(55:24):
from Nashville says Ben. I am not feeling the love
for our Tennessee Titans. I have hope that you will
be surprised this season. Oh Cliff, we do not spend
a lot of time talking Titan football, that is true.
But if there is a scandal, we will talk about.
So don't don't mind that. And I am still not
a believer. I am a skeptic oe of little faith
(55:47):
that Ryan Tannehill will will be anything more than a
decoy when the playoffs come around. It's very hard to
win that way. It's very hard to win with a decoy.
You can get to a certain point where there have
been teams that have gone to the Super Bowl with
a decoy type quarterback. Jared Goff with the Rams comes
to mind, Rex Grossman. But the only one that one
(56:10):
was manning, and that was the Broncos, who had a
ridiculous defense Tennessee. I do expect their defense to be better. Um,
but I'm just not got Julio Jones, you got Derrick Henry,
got some guys. Yeah, And unfortunately for yeehaw in West Valley,
a city of Utah, we do not have time for
your email and all the other fine folks that send
(56:32):
email in. Uh. You've got to put the put the
baby to bed, as they say. And I will be
back now. I've got an interesting schedule this week, and
because you're a podcast listener, I'm gonna let you know first.
So I will be back in the chair, the big chair,
as Mark Patrick used to say our whole morning guy
at Fox Sports Radio a million years ago. But I'll
be back in the big chair, uh, tonight Sunday night
(56:54):
into Monday, eleven pm in the West on the Pacific
time zone, and where's that nine pm in Hawaii two
am on Monday morning in the East. And I'll be
in tonight. But then I'm moving. But I'll be back
at the end of the week. So it's a weird.
(57:14):
It's the worst possible time to take off. You're supposed
to book end your time off with the weekend, so elongated,
but my wife's working on the weekends and she couldn't
get time off to move, so the only time we
could move was during the week And but I will
be back to to do the the podcasting and whatnot
for next week, so we'll have new podcast, original podcast
(57:36):
next weekend. But then this is the last podcast that
will come out of the studio and in the next
podcast will be a brand new studio and I'm excited
about that, looking forward to it. Some little bitch about
in your new studio for some the nine reasons, so
looking to the of course they will complain, and uh
always have. I've been working with the I Heart engineering
(57:58):
department to try to get the line putty into the studio,
so there's been a lot of emails back and forth
to get all that done. So of course this assumes
that that line will be put in and that set
equipment will work in the new studio, so we'll see
how that goes. But looking forward to that. Anyway, I
have a great rest of your Sunday. Thank you for
supporting the podcast. Tell a friend, Sharing is caring, Sharing
(58:20):
is caring. Uh, so help us out and we'll catch
you then. Thank you
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific
on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio appm.
If you thought more hours a day, minutes a week
(00:20):
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
starts right now in the air. Everywheares, we are back
(00:46):
at it again on the Fifth Hour Podcast, and we
are so happy to have you with it, says we
do this eight days a week. It's Sunday Sunday Sunday,
a Sunday Funday on the Fifth Hour Podcast with myself,
Ben Mallard and West of the four oh five for
(01:06):
the second consecutive weekend, David Gascon We rise and we
shine with the good Man West of the four oh five.
Here I am loud and proud, today, Yeah, with your
(01:30):
own count can sound effects? And now you didn't. I'm
proud of your baby steps. You didn't. You didn't suck
up to Cowherd in yesterday's podcast. So can you make
it to podcasts in a row that brought him up?
You brought him up? Well you listen, you at the
end a blatant violation with our with our Friday If
you didn't hear the Friday podcast we hard old college
(01:52):
football talk with Bruce Feldman, the sideline reporter for college
football on Fox, and he writes for The Athletic. He's
a well known figure in college football. And it was
going great. We nailed it. Even the Russian judge gave
us a ten. And then at the end you sullied
it by promoting Cowherd's restaurant, or did I Yeah, you did,
(02:13):
you did. It's the power of editing that I have
control over, so you never know, and maybe it's in there,
maybe it's not. Oh just a while, you tried taking
torpedo shots at me under the water. I'm I'm up
above the clouds. So you you who complain about government
over you are you are then manipulating the podcast. I
(02:37):
don't even know what's on the podcast. Yeah, I'm big brother.
I am big brother. Now, the goal of this podcast,
my goal is to do this with very few edits.
My goal is to do it like a radio show,
from start to finish, from start to finish, and if
it's all chopped up and all that. Like, I had
this battle with McBain because he you know, he added
(02:58):
a few things out. Oh he did. Yeah, And I
don't know, Well, I would just podcasting. We can leave
stuff in. But did you say that there was some
anti Semitic stuff that was fired in there that you
wanted removed? Uh, well, it was a joke that was made.
(03:19):
I'm Jewish. I was not overly offended by the joke.
Wasn't like old trope? Right, Yeah, it was like an
old trope that was made. But no, I don't. I
don't believe any malice was you know. But I guess
I'm not as a delicate as some other people, and
so I I don't. I don't really. I mean, there
are racist people or anti Semitic people, but I don't
(03:42):
get worked up or you know, I don't think the
person and we won't even say the person that said it,
but the person I do not believe had any any
of that animosity in his heart where he like hated
you know, Jewish people or whatever. I don't think that's
the case. But if you were listening to that wall
on w E E I, the station probably would have
(04:02):
been closed down, right, Like there would have been someone
that just was open arms. Well, if someone was monitoring it, yeah,
people would have been very Uh. There's always the the
triggered group of people. Well, the cool thing about the podcast,
which is a it's a blessing and a curse. Like
the radio show, there's people that listen that you're just
looking for something to listen late at night, and they
(04:24):
scan around they find the show, and that's fine. But
then on the podcast, I feel like you really have
to go out of your way to find it. You know,
it's not it's not readily available. You have to like
search my name, you have to search the fifth hour
or whatever it might be to find it. So if
you're listening to the podcast, I tend to think that
(04:44):
you're a a P one or gonna be a P one.
Maybe you're a P two or P three, but you're
eventually going to turn into a P one anyway, all right,
let's get right to the mail bag. We have a
lot of questions, a lot of questions. I hope, I
hope you have your body armor on because the malle militia. Uh,
let's see that your return was not met with tremendous reviews. Anyway,
(05:09):
Rupo from Parts Unknown says, it's been nice listening to
the fifth hour again, while he who makes Lebron James
seemingly have self esteem issues in comparison to his unbelievable
arrogance was away. Unfortunately I could tell he was back
just by reading the description of the podcast, Bring Back Ryan,
(05:33):
Bring Back McBain, says, Rupo your thoughts. That's interesting. I
wonder what title he's referencing too, by the way, Yeah,
I don't know. Well, we had this conversation in a
previous podcast about whether to put the guests the big
name on the headline of the podcast. My position is yes.
Your position is no. No. I mean that's my thought
(05:54):
process was that you you give the you give the
audience like a description, but it's just a taste. You
don't tell him what's in the what's in the box.
But you know you you have brought it to my
attention about guests and name specific searches, And I agree,
how about how about this if they have name recognition,
(06:14):
Like if somebody we had Rob Parker on last week
and a lot of Rob Parker fans. If somebody's a
Rob Parker fan looking for a little Rob Parker podcast action,
if they search his name, and they'd find his podcast,
but they wouldn't find our interview. But if you put
the name in the headline, then our show comes up
when you search for Rob park Right. And I understand
because last Sunday, the title of the of the description
(06:37):
of the title and description of the podcast from last
Sunday title was cry Babies and the description was more
wanting and complaining from the Toothless, So I can understand
why someone wants to know that I'm returning. So yeah,
So then when somebody searches Toothless, they would find our podcast.
And I did see. I went back and I looked
(06:58):
through some of the old podcasts and you had Easter
was on there? You had Easter on there, right or
so Happy Easter. I think we did an Easter show.
I think we did. So then I'm thinking like some
religious folks, you know, god fearing people would search for
an Easter related podcast and hear us reading email from people,
(07:21):
and nine times out of ten it's just pure defecation. Yea,
exactly exactly. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that's not gonna play
well on the Bible belt. What's true? That's true? Alright,
Mark Mark in Ottawa, right, so, and he says, this
is for David. Have you ever slept with a woman?
And if so, how much did she charge? From Mark
(07:42):
in Ottawa? There and you never pay, well, you pay
in some way. You always pay some way. Mark. I
know you're not familiar with the the other female species,
uh in those parts of town. But in the end,
you always pay dinner, drinks, it's goods and services. I
think it's yeah, it's all try action on the end. Yeah,
it's it's the ebb and flow. It's the yin and
(08:04):
the yang of of life. Now, women would argue they
also have to pay because they have to hang out
with a bunch of ugly dudes. But they gotta put
on makeup and do their hair and shave. They all
get all dolled up in the process. All right. Pierre
in Springfield says, Ben, I know that you get frustrated
(08:27):
when corporate Garcia, Coop and Roberto take days off. You
obviously get flummixed when Ned Flanders does his twenty eight
minute trending segments at the bottom of the hour, and
when Gascon only takes two calls from females over a
four hour shift. That's right, I remember that. Are you
thrown off when Chris perfect bombards your monologue with various drops? God,
(08:53):
he says, Roberto has learned to pick his spots, but
it seems like Chris has an itchy trigger finger. Well, Pierre,
that's a great question. First of all, I try to
just focus on what I'm trying to convey to you
as the listener, and too much it's it's it's there's
like a finite amount of podcasting or not, but monologue drops,
(09:17):
which are good, but they should be rare and appropriate
the monologue drops and oftentimes, uh, they they are not,
and it becomes problematic. And Roberto has been pretty good.
He'll ring the bell usually that means he agrees with me.
If he doesn't ring the bell, he doesn't agree with
my my position. Um, but but yeah, I've Actually it's
(09:41):
it's weird thing like I don't mind it because I
just keep going you know, I've got some bullet points
and I just kind of, you know, throw everything together
in my head and put it all together, connect the dots.
But I have gotten people over the years that have complained,
I loved your show, but the drops. I can't listen
because of the drops. But then there's other people that
(10:02):
love the drops and want they want drops, like bringing
home Jerome from Kansas City, like he loved, you know,
to make the Baba gaos. You know, he screamed that out.
That's a drop. He's got a drop. Uh. And so
to some of our our big p one fans here
for you, it's like this is a big thing. I
would think that would be awesome. Like when I growing up,
(10:24):
when I listened to radio, I could have my voice
as a drop on a syndicated radio show. That would
have been amazing, even a local show, it doesn't matter.
It would have been awesome. But it has a very
polarizing subject that drops. It really is, at least on
monologues because you're trying to talk and get a thought
and idea out. But yeah, I just you know, you
(10:45):
look at who's doing it, and it's like, all right,
it makes sense. We got fats in Philly. Who's next?
I love Fats. I gotta hang out with him sometime.
I gotta do it. Fats as a parte, And I'm
so glad he found our show, he says Mallard. What
other Mala militia personality would be an absolute disaster if
I were paired up with them on a weekend in
(11:07):
Vegas over under on how many hours before? We would
be detained in a holding cell? All right, so let's
see here Fats in Philly. Well, I think you and
Regina would be trouble Regina and spend Psycho Regina, because
Regina told the story she somehow is out at a
(11:30):
at like a bar, and she ended up at on
a party bus for a bachelor party, which can only
imagine what happened on the on the on the party bus.
So that and then also Fats, like there's some of
our guys, like I've met Blair in Maine, and Blair
is a great guy. But you can lead Blair down
the garden path. So whatever Fats does, Blair will do also,
(11:52):
which could be dangerous. I'm trying to think who else
would be Marcel in Brooklyn? Can you imagine Marcel? Oh?
Doc Mike All. So Doc Mike right. You know you
go out with Doc. Doc's eating a salad, drinking some
piss and then Fats is eating a cheese steak in
one hand. You know, he's got a plate of a
deep fried calamari in the other and he's just going
(12:15):
for and then lighting himself on fire. Yeah, lighting himself
on fire, pulling his pains down, showing his free willie,
his anaconda. Well, it's not really an anticon. It's more
like a baby snake. But to everyone, to everyone name
so anyway kid, because I care. Jason from Rocky Mount,
Virginia writes it, Jason hooked me up with a Salem
(12:36):
Red Sox hat, which he's in my rotation. In my rotation,
he says, any more coyotes sightings at the Halfway House?
And do you think you will see any in your
new Mallard mansion in a few weeks. Well, first of all,
I've not seen a coyote since the attack. Bella is
doing great. She's getting her stitches out soon, she'll be
(13:00):
She's completely back to over. It's one of the most
amazing things. Bella was on My dog Bellow was on
her deathbed. We thought we were gonna lose her. And
even when we took her back after the operation, for
a couple of days no movement. She was a lifeless creature.
And within three or four days she was back hopping
up and down and doing her things. So it's it's
(13:24):
crazy how quick that turned around. And it's great. And
as far as the other place, this county is everywhere.
Now where I'm living at the halfway House is closer
to them, to the mountains, so that's why there's more coyotes.
I've also noticed a little life hack. The day you
have to be most concerned about coyotes is trash Day.
(13:46):
The trash the counties don't have a calendar app on
their on their iPhone, but they know they are aware
of when trash day is and they they come out
looking for food when it's trash day because they oh,
there's it's like the grocery store. They can get all
kinds of food. Um. Anyway, So that's that's the coyote story.
Carlos in Bang Bang Houston, Texas rights and he says, Ben,
(14:10):
you're a smart guy. Well that's a great email. Carlos,
thank you for writing that email. We appreciate it. Uh,
and that's that you didn't need to add anymore. But
there's always more. He says, maybe you can answer this
one for me. Why do the owners cry to these
politicians to pony up money for a new stadium? Aren't
they rich enough to buy a new one? And so
(14:31):
that's the first question. He has a second question, Well, yeah,
of course these billionaires could own a stadium, and they
could finance the stadium, and they could raise the ticket
prices to get people to pay the stadium, pay for
the stadium. But there's a term. It's corporate welfare. Is
(14:52):
the is the term, right? And if you're rich enough
and powerful enough, you can pay for lobbyists who will
then buy off politicians and give you all kinds of
tax breaks, legal loopholes, and it's it's one of the
great con games because owning a sports team it is
(15:14):
a public trust, right, That's what people Most people look
at sports teams as part of the community. It's past
that you you're a steward for the team, but you
don't own the team. Forever you're gonna die, someone else
is gonna own the team. You don't really own it, right,
you're just looking after it for the next generation that follows,
and it's a communal thing that you know, I my
my parents are passed away. They went to Dodger games.
(15:37):
I go to Dodger games. You know, the next generation
after me we'll go to Dodger games. And so it's
that kind of thing. Um. But they know they do
it because they can. They know they can get free money.
Why would you turn down free money. The problem is
with the politicians giving the free money away. That's the
issue there. But to ask for it, it's the same
(15:59):
boiler plate. It's it's paint by numbers, it's you gotta
you go to the politicians, try to make a deal.
They say no, right, they say no. So then you
go public and threaten to relocate, saying you don't have
enough money for the stadium. Uh, saying you can't do it,
and you can't raise the ticket prices. Uh. And you
you play the same game. And then the Oakland A's
(16:19):
are doing it right now. Right, The A's want a
new stadium. They've been trying for years and it's never
good enough. Right the you know, the Bay Area politics
is a mess. But they did put some things forward
to give them some of what they wanted to build
the taj Mahal Stadium. Wasn't good enough. Right, These owners
want the Candelabra like Liberachi had right anyway, want everything
(16:43):
and uh and so they have to threaten to move
to Vegas or Portland, Oregon or wherever until they get
what they want. And they know the other thing they
know is that if they can't get the tax break,
the sweetheart deal where they want, there's always some other
local municipality that will be opening up their wallets and
handing out money. So that's my my take on that, Carlos.
(17:08):
And he also says, you you say you're a sucker
for minor league hats, will you wear one of the
Strows minor league affilly? Well, as long as there is
no reference to the Astros, I see why I would
have I wouldn't have a problem with that. My my
problem is with the Astros. These minor league teams are
(17:31):
I believe, independently owned most part. Yeah, so i I've
got the minor league system here for the s s Rows.
They have a team. One of their affiliates is called
the Fayetteville Woodpeckers. I loved Woody Woodpecker when I was
a kid. Are you gonna say, can you say pecker?
(17:53):
Is that allowed? I don't know. I don't know, all right? Uh.
And and they have a team called the sugar Land Skeeters.
I'd love that because one of our callers from Montana
is Skeeter in Montana. What's the team color? Uh? Let
me see here. Let me click on the the logo,
but let me see. I guess see what kind of
(18:14):
hats there? And I normally try to wear hats that
have an M or a B on them. The colors
are yellow like it looks like I guess the Skeeter
is a B and then it's blue. So let me
go to the team. See here's Skeeters hat. We're doing
this live. You listen to our live coverage. Yes, we're
(18:37):
looking at a MLB show. You know what, I've noticed
a lot of these minor league teams I can't get.
I cannot get hats in my size because they don't
there's a shortage of the production chain is not right. Um,
like the size eight. A lot of these websites don't
have size eight, which is my my size. Uh. Yeah,
(18:57):
Like they have a hat here with a B on it.
I'd wear that. That's a good looking hat. I'd even
wear the one with the Texas silhouette on it, but
I wouldn't wear the one the s l I don't
think I would wear. I think I would wear that
the skeeter lend. I don't think I would do that one.
Um anyway, that's thank you for the question. Carlos Vols
fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee says, if you had a
(19:20):
lifetime supply of the last thing you bought, what would
it be for you? And Mr insubordination? All right, So
the last thing I bought was a voice processor, which
I have yet I've yet to install. My voice processor
has been dying, and so I ponied up the money.
(19:42):
Actually bought a voice processor before. It didn't work and
so I had to return it. And this is a
so voice proces So I'd be rich in voice processors,
which only works if you have a radio show to do.
Otherwise it is a rather completely useless piece of equipment. Uh, gascon,
what's the last thing about? I'm happy to report the
(20:03):
last thing I bought was gasoline. You'd be rich in gasoline,
my man. Man, I'd be like one of those hoarders
that bottle those and masks early on the pandemic and
then just started, you know, snaking people for him and
selling him for a massive profit. I've been doing that
with gasoline, toilet paper, and you can do that also
(20:25):
hand sanitizer. It did not take long. It did not
take long for a mash shortage of toilet paper, hand
sanitizer and all that stuff. Which imagine if something eventually, eventually,
something else is going to happen, and the same it's
that flight fight or flight reference that human beings have
(20:47):
animalistic and you know it's gonna something will happen again, right, Yeah, man,
it happened here in l A with ammunition like you
couldn't buy. You still can't buy nine millimeter bullet Like
as soon as these stores get them, they're sold out
and they put a cap on how many rounds you
can buy per day. And the prices have really doubled
(21:11):
on ammunition. It's crazy how much I've never bought ammunition.
I don't know how how much does uh? If I
want to get a box, how much like a box
of bullets? Yeah, so for nine millimeter you have to
buy them in fifties. So I bought um like a
week ago, I bought a hundred rounds for nine millimeter
hollow point. It was eighty eight dollars. Probably two years
(21:33):
ago or a year ago, it was like closer to
sixty five sixty six, and you're capped at it, so
you can only you're only allowed to buy two hundred
rounds per day, alright, So you buy two hundred a
day at the end of the week, you got a
fair amount. If there's if they're still an inventory like
they don't. They don't stock a lot of nine millimeter
(21:54):
for that specific reason. So first blue as the state is,
I think it's closer to purple than just great blue.
We got a lot of people out of rock and firearms,
and there there are pockets. One of the reasons people
were talking about breaking up California, Like in Fresno, Baker's Field,
that's that's that's like Republican country. Yeah, right, it's it.
It's l a San Francisco proper and obviously San Diego
(22:20):
where it's more. But even San Diego, like Orange Counties,
it's shifted a little bit since I lived there. It's
still more like Huntington's Beach. That area is more Republican.
San Diego. I think there's a lot of When I
lived and I worked in San Diego, I thought there
was a lot of people more conservative in San Diego
because the military town Camp Pendleton and all that. So
(22:45):
did you see San Francisco is applying the same mandates
that New York is now to to their indoor and
outdoor facilities. I did not. Yeah, so they're they're making
it a requirement to be COVID vaccinated and show proof,
which is amazing because now it's harder to go into
a restaurant in San Francisco than it is to go
(23:06):
into a Rite Aid and just steal a hundred dollars
worth of of supplies in medicine. It's amazing. Wow. There
you go, Well, when are you moving to San Francisco
but that place, and yeah, you're not. You're not moving there.
So I'm not going to San Francisco, New York City
or Chicago anytime soon. Yeah. Right. Should be sure to
(23:27):
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch
live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and
the I Heart Radio ap again and the people making
the decision that they often don't even follow their own rules,
which is a whole different different things. So anyway, all right,
(23:53):
what is next year? Page down? Page down? These are
actual emails from Actually, did you get anything from Tammy
or Rock Sane or no? No, no one, none, no no.
We did get a message from just Josh's wife, Nicole,
A lovely lady, she's she said, My question is about
your fast thing. Oh, welcome in now, she says, I
(24:15):
don't remember you ever talking about the eating part of it.
How many hours do you eat before you start your
next fast? If it's several hours, do you eat big
meals or just get as much in as you can
in the allotted hours? All right, so Nicole, thank you
for the question. Now let me preface this with a disclaimer.
You should never take dietary advice from a radio guy podcaster.
(24:40):
What do I know, I'm an idiot. But with that said,
here's here's what I do. So my move on this
is I during the week, I only eat one meal
and I try to eat in one hour within one hour,
So like I will, I'll give you an example this
past week. I ate Sunday, I had lunch. I finished
(25:05):
eating at about two o'clock because we went to a
flea market, which I should have talked about that on
the other podcast, but I forgot, uh so we we
ended up going eating. It ended at two o'clock and
then I ate again on I think it was four
o'clock on Tuesday, and then I ate a big meal
(25:27):
and I had like, I had a snack within I
ate a meal, waited about fifteen twenty minutes and then
they like a little bit of a snack, and then
I started at five o'clock I started fasting again. So
but on the weekends, I will I will eat. I
have a longer window to eat on the weekends because
otherwise I think my wife would divorce me. So um. So,
(25:48):
you know, it was eating was a big part of
the socializing and all. That's a big part of eating.
And so I'll normally eat lunch, and you know, I
give myself about six hours or so I'll eat lunch
and then later on I'll have have dinner. So four
or five six hours something like that enough time where
the food can settle in and then you can be
(26:09):
ready to eat another meal. So that's the the deal
on that. Uh Matt from La Mesa, California says, what's up, fellas?
First off, f al Tube says, Ben, you probably won't
read this on the air, but it's good to have
gas Can back. It's a breath of fresh air. That'll
be edited out of the podcast. He says, Ryan sounded
(26:32):
like an a one wokester. His take on taxes had
me screaming in my car. Ryan's not a Wokester's not woke. No.
I I liked run. I had a good time working
with it, right. I mean, Ryan's probably a little uh
you know, separate from me politically, but Ryan's an introvert
and I got along with him great. I can run
(26:53):
a lot. He's a good guy, which is funny. What
the funk? It's weird. He's like your size, he's like
six five six six, and yeah, he's just he's a
massive introverts pretty funny. Yeah, look good for him. It's
a proper way to live life. He says. When you
guys retire, what's the first thing you guys are going
to do? I'm I'm not really planning on retiring. I
don't know, And you know, it's one of those things
(27:16):
the quote God laughs at you when you're making plans
about retiring. It would be nice if I had enough
money to not have to have the grind every day
and maybe just do a once a week podcast or
something like that, or do a weekend show or that
would be kind of cool as I wind down. But
as long as they'll have me. And I got plenty
(27:37):
of bills to pay, and I got even more bills
now after I'm moving to the new house. So yeah,
I think I would. I think I would track down
I'm a pilot and let him know I'm purchasing a
first class ticket on his next flight out to Europe.
I've not heard from I'm a pilot. I believe you
chased him away. He has not emailed me, he has
not contacted in any way. He would send these long
(28:00):
emails giving us great travel logs. I was living my
travel life through him. Yeah, but I'm not. He's got
from family, he's got kids, maybe there's certain school, and
he's got other priorities. Right now, listen, we are his
audio family. We are I'm a Pilot's audio family. Yeah,
but he knows we're stable. We're here, We're not going
anywhere the family, and you've got all kinds of things
(28:21):
going on right now, I don't know. Nothing lasts forever,
Alan from Ohio. Right then, he says, assuming that the
cast of the Ben Mallor Show is fully vaccinated, why
are you still broadcasting from home? He said, the question
when you are not in question. Well, this is the
part where he loses me. He says, when you are
not in studio, it seems like the chemistry of the
show is just a bit off. Love the show from Alan,
(28:43):
business in the show sucked for two years. Yeah, for
the last two years, I have been broadcasting from my
home studio and uh, spoiler alert, Alan, guess what when
I'm in the studio, I can't see Coop and I
can't see Eddie. The only one I can see is Roberto.
So it's not like this affects the chemistry of the
(29:03):
show at all. That's one of the reasons, you know.
I had a conversation with the management about this, and
it's like, this show is perfect to do because from
home for me a convenience. But but be it does
not affect the quality in any way. Uh, it does
not affect the quite other than the line occasionally going out,
and that's obviously in a perfect world that would not happen.
(29:26):
But the company and and radio companies decided to get
rid of the hard I SDN line, which was a
solid broadcast line which very rarely went down, and instead
we use a different setup to connect and it's it's
a less reliable set up, um, and it's been pretty reliable,
but you know, we have usually once a month there'll
be some kind of bump in the road and all that.
(29:47):
Plus you have plus you you produce your own content.
And on top of that, the same update is played
every thirty minutes pretty much, uh, pretty pretty much. So yeah,
which is frustrating because I when I did that, I
would try to change it up and put new and
always search for news story. But you know, yeah, what
(30:08):
are you gonna do? I'm not, I'm not. It's not
my decision. Uh, Dan from Stoughton is that it s
t O U g H t O N. Where's that?
I think it's in? Uh, I want to say, hold
on the same. I think it's in Massachusetts. But I'm
just pulling that out of my ass. Let me see here,
(30:30):
Oh it's in Wisconsin. Bad job by me, at least
according to the Internet, it's in there might be one.
And see here's the thing, there's probably like much of
city's name stut but Hollywood's in Florida, hollywoods in California.
According to this, Stoughton is a city in Dane County, Wisconsin.
It straddles the Yahara River about twenty miles southeast of
(30:50):
the state capital of Madison. Population is uh thirteen thousand,
sixty the population and so it's it's kind of the
southern part Wisconsin, not too far from the the Illinois border.
And see anybody famous come out of this town, anybody
(31:14):
that would impress. A lot of Wisconsin state representatives have
come out of there. Uh, Nobel Prize Laureate. That doesn't
really do much for us. Any athletic people, entertainers. Gail Gillingham,
Green Bay Packers Hall of Famer. I don't know who
that is. Graham Elwood, a comedian. I've never heard of that.
(31:35):
Jerry Fry, head coach of the Oregon Ducks football team,
NFL assistant coach. Uh yeah, a lot of political people,
not a lot. Not a lot of people I've heard
of here, unfortunately. Okay. Uh. My theory is that every
town has at least one famous person that's come out
of there that I would know. But this town would
be the exception of the rule. Anyway, Dan says, when
(31:55):
will blind Scott be suspended for conduct detrimental to the show? Um? Well, listen,
blind Scott likes to stir it up. He's a rock.
Uh you know, he he throws crap against the fan. Um.
But I I would argue that blind Scott he hasn't
risen quite to that level. He likes tacking shots at
Eddie and Roberto. That's his new thing here. But he
(32:16):
thinks he's he's He said he was doing a parody
of Chris of Chris Cromo's brother, the former governor of
New York there, Andrew Cuomo. So he was doing his
his thing. Richard in Edawah, Tennessee, says, hey ben and
deuced canoe Gagon. I was in the army for eight
years to deployments. That's a long I was wondering if
(32:37):
any one of you guys or in your families served
in the military. Uh. Yes, I have one of my
my uncle, uncle Harvey, who passed away a couple of
years ago. He was in in the military. He was
drafted during Vietnam and he served in the military, and
(33:00):
I think on my my wife's side, there's there's some.
And then when I was a kid, I had at
a family reunion. We had a relative who lived in
Israel and was like a general in the Israeli Air Force,
and he he came, I remember as a child and spoke.
But not not a big military family. I mean there's
(33:22):
been a few, but not many. What about you. Yeah,
both of my both of my grandfather's were drafted. In fact,
my grandfather and my mom's side, he fought in the
Korean War. He was he was an army pilot. So
after that war was over, he migrated from Boston to
uh to sunny southern California. And then I grew up
(33:43):
in through college. I had a bunch of buddies like
my buddy Greg and Kevin and Ryan there they were
Navy brats, so they were in the Navy for quite
a while and then they got out, but they were
they called San Diego home for a bit. See. I
got a lot of people at least close close to
me that that's served to you military and some kind
of capacity. In fact, I have a I have a
(34:04):
nephew that might be going to the Air Force Academy
in Rhode Island. But he's actually contemplating right now because
he's a kid and really smart talented. But if they
require service officers to get vaccinated, he doesn't know if
he's gonna do it because he's been reading a lot
of stuff about pilots being grounded after they got the
(34:26):
COVID nineteen vaccination. So he doesn't know if he's gonna
do it. So it's unfortunate, but yeah, thanks for your service.
All right, now, let's see what else do we have
your page down? Page down? Eric and Omaha, Nebraska. Right,
So he says, bad job by you? Is that a
malor original? Or did you pick that up from someone else?
(34:49):
I have found myself using it very often in my
everyday vocabulary, so much so that my girlfriend and kids
say it. Now, Uh, that's your kids saying that to you,
bad job by you? Yeah, that's funny. Uh No, that's
not that's not a Mallard original. I I don't remember
when I started saying that. I mean, there's a there's
a number of people that that that have said that
(35:12):
over the years. I uh, I don't remember who I
you know who who had said that? Obviously I heard
it somewhere and then I just kind of stuck with
me and I started using it and repeating it and whatnot.
Uh Yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't know where
I found that from. I would give credit to the
person if there was one in particular person. People said,
(35:34):
some people say Chris Russo from Mike and the Mad Dog.
But I didn't listen to Mike and the Mad Dog,
So I don't. I don't. It wasn't him. It was
somebody else that uh that that said along the way,
and it was years ago. I've been saying that since
for twenty years. I've probably been saying that. So m
I don't. I don't remember specifically, Uh where where I
(35:57):
got that from? Uh? This is uh let's see here.
I'm glad your family says it. That's that's nice. Uh
this is barbed from Massachusetts. She says, when is COVID
going to be over? Laughing my ass off. Yeah, Uh,
COVID will never be over bar because it's gonna be
here forever and just people are gonna have to learn
to deal with it. And until people learn to deal
(36:20):
with it, and it's not. We've got to get to
the point where it's not news when somebody gets COVID.
It's only news when they get COVID and they have
a bad illness, you know, because I've had I talked
to one of old friends, Eric, who's an old Fox
Sports radio guy, who's a radio programmer, and he said
he had the COVID and he was telling me, you know,
(36:41):
he was very mild and and all that, and but
for that, I don't I don't think we need to
stop the world for that. It's if you know people
that have the bad reactions to it, then it's becomes
Newsworth or like, yeah, any kind of adverse effects from
from getting any kind of treatment to from it. Uh.
Fred in Spring, Texas says, did you guys ever have
(37:04):
a job offer you turned down and later regretted it? Now?
I can't say that, Fred. I can't tell you that.
I've had several jobs that I thought I was getting
that at the last minute, at the eleventh hour, I
didn't get And I often wonder what my life would
be like if I had gotten one of those jobs
(37:24):
I was. I was back in oh nine when the
Tiger Wood scandal broke. I was in talks with TMZ
to run when they were gonna launch t MZ Sports,
and I had gotten a phone call that I was
gonna be hired and that that they were gonna call
me again the next day with the details. And uh,
I'm still waiting for that phone call. Uh. And then
(37:46):
uh I did. Also when I got let go from
Fox Sports Radio, I was brought into ESPN. Uh. They
flew me into Bristol and I met with executives at
ESPN for three days and they were gonna they were
gonna hire me. And then they first time in that
at that point, first time since ESPN launched they had
ever had layoffs. And it happened to be the week
(38:08):
that I was there in Bristol, Connecticut, and so they said,
we can't hire you because we're you know, the company
is now laying off people. So I've had bad time.
What about you, guys? Yeah, you really That West Virginia
gig would have been great. The China job would have
been wonderful. You could have gone to China, you would
have ran, you know, the Chinese government would have been great. Well,
(38:29):
I haven't had anything like that that's been in the
sports world. More so, like when I was in banking.
But yeah, no, nothing in the sports world that I
can I can say. It's been a constant fucking hustle.
So not there yet. Not there yet, my mayam, you
gotta do the hustle. Mall Man, all right, let's keep
(38:50):
going here. Who do we have leave from the Valley
of the Sun. He says, Hello, Ben? Did he spell
his name right? And I will say hello to gag
On since he is always thinking about me. I can't
spell cat. Hey, Hey, Lee, I got a question for you. Lee.
I know you can't answer it, but you sent out
a photo was your your daughter's birthday and beautiful young
lady and you said my favorite daughter. Does that mean
(39:12):
she's your only daughter? Because because who's is she also
your least favorite daughter? I mean, how does that work?
I don't know. I have no idea anyway, He says,
I've heard you use a Mama Luke. Here's another question
about the mallar lingo that I use Mama luke. Can
you tell me how that started and what what that means? Well, yes, yes,
(39:33):
the term Mama Luke is a homage. It is a
tribute too. Martin Scorsese's Raging Bull and it is a
slang term of I guess Italian origins, right. It means
loser or a bum. You're a mama luke. And when
I say that, it's another way of you know, insulting you.
(39:55):
And I could say you're you're a big dummy or
an idiot, or I can call yeah MoMA luke. Um.
You know. So that that's that's all. That is just
another way to call someone a loser. Another word, which
I don't use enough is ragamuffin. That's a good word.
It's a solid word. Um. There's a there's a bunch
of those. I know. Tony Bruno uses strapper. You're a strapper,
(40:18):
which is like a South Philly slang term which means loser.
Toolbag is another one that's pretty good. I like shmendrick.
I use that one a lot. Loggerhead um. So yeah,
that's that's an example there. So thank you Lee Mike
from Venice. Right, so, and he says, Ben, if you
(40:39):
can't travel anywhere in the world, where would it be
And do you like going to the beach? I do
like going to the beach, although I like having a
tent so I'm not completely exposed to the sun. But
I absolutely love going to the beach. I have not
been able to go much this summer at all because
of my my living situation, but I love it. And
(41:00):
I don't do radio in New Zealand anymore. That gig ended.
But I would love to go to New Zealand, uh
and and check that out. And my wife is dying
to take me to Europe and travel around Europe, so
I have to get there at some point. And she's
got her famili's in Italy, uh so I'd like to
to go check out. It'll have a great things about Italy.
(41:20):
Like to check that out. And I have family in Israel.
I don't know that I want to go to the
Middle East, but I don't know. Maybe some day down
the line. Who knows. Man, it's gonna be tough for you.
If if she does convince you to go to Italy
and you guys do go during the summer, I don't know, man,
I don't know if you can handle it. The heat
is just awful. It's it's like palm desert and Florida
(41:44):
mixed into one, as hot and humid as shit. Yeah,
you'll be sweating balls. Yeah, I'm sure that, sure, I would.
I mean, I've been. I've been in the South, I've
been in hell, New York in the summer and all man,
how holy crap with all those trash cans and everything
else in the streets just building up. Oh my god.
(42:07):
Every year the Dodgers would go to play the Mets.
It's ironic because this weekend the Dodgers are playing the
Mets in New York. It was always it was always
the early August. Usually the US Open was going on
at Arthur Ashe Stadium, the newly name, relatively newly named.
It wasn't called that when I was going there, and
uh yeah, the smells, stench, just disgusting. Yeah, my wife
(42:35):
hated that about it. She's very sensitive to smells and
just this disguss. But now everyone wears masks. I guess
Jesus Chris and Marracoca to Iowa says, what is the
secret to happiness? Yes's go not trying to look for happiness. Yeah,
(42:57):
I just live your just live your life. Just you know,
just hang out with people that love you, people that
like you. Have friends, uh, you know, have have something
that keeps you busy and and feels you. It gives
you a sense of accomplishment. I think human beings need
to do something that gives them a sense of accomplishment,
whatever that might be, whether it's a job or playing
video games or whatever. And not putting pineapple on your pizza.
(43:19):
That's it? Wow? All right? Uh next one, Ben and Gascon.
Good to hear the west of the four or five
guy back in the guest Gascon and Ben said it
much better than Ryan and Ben. I believe Ben is
coming up with his one year anniversary. I don't know
who sent this. By the way, I didn't get a
(43:39):
name on this. Uh one year anniversary since his crime
scene incident at the park restroom. How does it feel, Ben,
any thoughts on the memories? Uh? Well, I have actually relocated.
I do not live near that bathroom, so I have
moved away from the scene of the crime. So I
(44:02):
am no longer I am no longer there. I'm glad
that you remember though the the anniversary. I do not
remember the niversity. Oh, I think this is our friend
from from Denver. I believe this is Adrian from from Denver.
I believe I think this is him. So anyway, he says,
um and I asked about memories. I have no memories.
(44:23):
He says. My family and I were at the Adams
County Fair in Colorado on Friday, and I was repping
the show again with the Mallard T shirt. You know
it's my it's summertime when you have a lemonade in
one hand and a turkey leg in the other. What
are your guy's favorite fair foods? I love the fair
(44:46):
is tremendous, and I love the corn dog, the size
of the forearm, which is wonderful, and sampling some of
the different deep fried foods that they have, but I
usually get the same foods I get elsewhere, like the
big Philly cheese steak, and everything's oversized and deep fried
and and just wonderful. Yeah, like I get sometimes I've
(45:08):
had the fried donut holes. Those are good. Yeah yeah.
The giant pretzels are always my favorite, though beer yeah
those are. You gotta get that cheese to dip it
in though, that's oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, all right,
Thank you, Adrian, and I'm glad you had a good time.
Though there's a story I cannot tell. Adrian had a
(45:31):
very bad experience with a car rental company in California
that has terrible customer service. But I don't. He doesn't
want me to talk about that, so I would. Man
if he gives me the green light, I will, I
will bring up his store. But I unfortunately he asked
for my help and I don't. I don't. I was
not able to help him, so I wish I could.
(45:53):
And I didn't even bother asking you because you're west
of the four oh five. Anyway. This is from Helen
and Stu in Palmetto Bay, Florida. All the Diaper Wears
says grocery shopping. I heard over the store speaker the
theme song for cops playing. I immediately thought of David Gascon. Yeah, Helen,
thinking about the family. What's up, Helen. A few clicks
(46:15):
show that Chief Gascon was wait for it, Ben, chief
of media relations. It's not a real cop, Helen says.
Political appointee Helen his world class dipshit, A political appoint
team from the current sheriff at the time. Could you
imagine being that stupid like Andy giving Barney a gun
(46:36):
and one bullet to keep in the uniform. Let me
tell let me tell you something, Helen. He was more
successful what he did professionally in thirty two years than
you ever have been in your decrepit life. All right,
come down, let me just tell you that, Helen, what
a fucking idiot. All right, we liked your dad. Come down. Uh,
the email continues, A long time, no right, spent July
(46:58):
four in a few weeks, nan Tucket with our our daughter,
her husband, and our perfect nine month old grandson, Bentley
with Stu and I already secretly, uh we secretly called Ben.
So oh yeah, Bentley, you can call. That's yeah, great, Jesus,
that's a tremendous way. I love them more, uh, she says.
(47:21):
Then back to New York and now back to Florida,
where a as fully vaccinated people we hope not to
die because of the worst governor in the US, Ron
Ron de Santis. There, dotorry, Andrew Cuomo is perfectly pristine
and clean. Don't worry about that, Ellen, there's quite a
(47:43):
race for the worst governor title. The young lady in
Michigan could chime in, and she could certainly join the
conversation that now, don't worry. She could. She's lucky, though,
I mean, the alternative to having the Santis was um gosh,
I forget his name. The other candidate that was passed
out after being hammered and with a male prostitute. I
(48:06):
forget his name. Was that the CNN contributor? Is that
the one that was on CNN? Maybe I don't know.
I don't know more Helen speed, I guess it sounds
like anyway, Helen says, fear not. The Ben Mallor Show
and the Fifth Hour are in the air wherever stew
and I go, Well, thank you Jesus, I appreciate that.
And hey, listen, those downloads count Gascon. You can rip
(48:28):
Helen and stew All they want, but those downloads count.
I know. Just the first sixties seconds is all I
need from Helen before our two part questions some brief housekeeping,
our best and dear to Bella. Our best and dear
Bella assumed that Gascon was the most predatory wolf on
the planet. Uh thought by the time, by this time,
(48:50):
gas Con would have been permanently gas gone. She thought
Gascon's alleged illness, we know it was not exhaustion. According
to Helen, more about this next week, but just for
the Gascon potty mouth record, I am sixty two, she says,
and Stu is sixty one with a black belt in
(49:13):
Brazilian jiu jitsu, and we're something. Gascon will never become
self made wealthy. How about that, guest? You see that
good for them? It's good for you guys, all right.
I don't know how much you take of that to
the grave, all right. The but these these guys, let
me tell you, Helen and Stu, I wonder if they're
(49:33):
like investigators because the wait till you hear the next
part of the email here, Uh, this gets personal, Ben,
Did you know that Gascon isn't even the best athlete
or accomplished sibling in his own family. His sister, Sarah
is a world class athlete, team captain of the U
S national women's handball team and has played all over
(49:55):
the world, including the Pan American Games and as a
college volleyball and softball star. Elected into her college Sports
Hall of Fame. She also plays professionally with Team Rogue
I guess and has real endorsement deals, and she has
a PhD from Auburn, making her doctor. Sarah Gascon obviously
(50:21):
the work harder Gene missed her underachieving brother David. Uh
the felt right, Swatts, you know that's the luxture that
I have is that people can can look us up
since we're semi public figures some capacity. But you know what,
you always have to be careful because when you start,
(50:44):
you know, lifting up the hood of other cars, those
owners don't always like it. There's always retaliation that comes
along the way. Oh okay, so I'll just I'll just
leave it at that. UM. I would always recommend people
to tread lightly when you try to uh, you know,
you try to look under those those hoods a little
(51:06):
threatening here those Yeah, it could be alright. Two part questions.
Don't worry Stu is a black belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu.
I'm very worried about that. All right, Ben and Gascon?
Uh he said? She says Ben Gascon has been burying
the True Family lead. Will you interview Sarah? If she
(51:27):
does well? Will you replace Gascon with her? It looks
like she's done some major media commentary. How great would
that be? There you go, and that is from Helen
and Stu. And then she says, did she just play
in the Tokyo Olympics? And I don't think they made
the Olympics, right, they didn't qualified. But there you go.
(51:49):
Your favorite couple from Palmetto Bay Florida gascon big fans.
I don't know anything about Stu. Well you just learned
he's sixty two, our sixty one and uh and black
belt in Brazilian jujitsus not enough? Not enough self made millionaires?
Is that what she said? Her self made wealthy? Yeah?
(52:10):
I don't know how they made their money, but good
for them. I'm happy they made money. I want to
I want to be a self made millionaire. That would
be nice, would be I want to live their life.
I when I'm in my sixties, I want to be
Helen and Stu. They're living the life that I want
to live. Right, You spend some time you live in Florida,
nice place to get a nice place. They're probably a
golf course, because everyone lives on a golf course in Florida. Uh,
(52:30):
you know, travel to New York, you know, hang out
with the relatives, have a great time. It sounds like
a wonderful life to me. It sounds like a wife
will live. Yeah, you guys have to be in Tampa though,
Like you don't? Yeah? You, you and the mists can't
be anywhere near fucking Miami. What's wrong? I've been to Miami?
What's wrong? With Miami, just saying your wife would be
a firecracker in Miami. I think she'd have a really
(52:50):
good time. Oh like the South Beach, Yes, I think
your wife would have a really good time. I think
you'd be Are you saying I'm more up to like
the Panhandle? I can handle that more. I think it's
just more your speed. I think it's just Jacksonville, like Jacksonville,
now Tampa Bay. I think I Tampa Bay. Alright, alright,
Jennifer from Richmond, Virginia writes in She says, Hi, Ben,
(53:13):
I just arrived after a short two hour drive to
see in concert uh Stain and the headlining group Corn.
What are your favorite songs from both those groups? Well? Uh,
stay right, that's the nineties man, right? Uh? I think
(53:33):
that song that got played a ton back in the day.
It's been a while, wasn't that? Was that their biggest song?
I don't know. I'm bad with I don't have the
music gene. I like music, but I don't have the
music gene. Oh what about Corn? Any Corn song Freak
on a Leash or something like that. I don't. I can't.
I'm not good with names of songs either. I'm bad
(53:54):
at this, Jennifer, Sorry, I wish I could I could
help you out. I don't out. It's one of those things.
It's like porn. I'll know what when I see it.
I'll know it when I hear it. You know. The
thing that annoys my wife is I just when I
listen to music, I love the rhythm. You know, I
don't really listen to the lyrics. My wife listens to
(54:15):
the lyrics, and so if they have songs have dumb lyrics,
she'll get you know, she'll get upset, like, well, why
are you listening as a lyrics are stupid? I'm like, why,
I like to the beat to it. It's gonna get
a little beat to it. Yeah, all right, we'll do
a couple more. A lot of email this week. The
email bag filled up. Kevin in Kansas says all is
(54:38):
right in the world, David is back in the sideshair,
and your show crew is spot on. Football is right
around the corner, and a baseball races are heating up.
What would either of you like to add to the stew?
That is a good life. I'd like to have like
an extra day off a week, That's what I would
(55:00):
the half a little more downtime would be good, just
one day, not more than one day. I got like
a day and a half right now of downtime. So
that's about it. Anything gask On you want to add
like a full schedule, that'd be that'd be good. Yeah, yea,
some things you can do to get that here. Cliff
(55:24):
from Nashville says Ben. I am not feeling the love
for our Tennessee Titans. I have hope that you will
be surprised this season. Oh Cliff, we do not spend
a lot of time talking Titan football, that is true.
But if there is a scandal, we will talk about.
So don't don't mind that. And I am still not
a believer. I am a skeptic oe of little faith
(55:47):
that Ryan Tannehill will will be anything more than a
decoy when the playoffs come around. It's very hard to
win that way. It's very hard to win with a decoy.
You can get to a certain point where there have
been teams that have gone to the Super Bowl with
a decoy type quarterback. Jared Goff with the Rams comes
to mind, Rex Grossman. But the only one that one
(56:10):
was manning, and that was the Broncos, who had a
ridiculous defense Tennessee. I do expect their defense to be better. Um,
but I'm just not got Julio Jones, you got Derrick Henry,
got some guys. Yeah, And unfortunately for yeehaw in West Valley,
a city of Utah, we do not have time for
your email and all the other fine folks that send
(56:32):
email in. Uh. You've got to put the put the
baby to bed, as they say. And I will be
back now. I've got an interesting schedule this week, and
because you're a podcast listener, I'm gonna let you know first.
So I will be back in the chair, the big chair,
as Mark Patrick used to say our whole morning guy
at Fox Sports Radio a million years ago. But I'll
be back in the big chair, uh, tonight Sunday night
(56:54):
into Monday, eleven pm in the West on the Pacific
time zone, and where's that nine pm in Hawaii two
am on Monday morning in the East. And I'll be
in tonight. But then I'm moving. But I'll be back
at the end of the week. So it's a weird.
(57:14):
It's the worst possible time to take off. You're supposed
to book end your time off with the weekend, so elongated,
but my wife's working on the weekends and she couldn't
get time off to move, so the only time we
could move was during the week And but I will
be back to to do the the podcasting and whatnot
for next week, so we'll have new podcast, original podcast
(57:36):
next weekend. But then this is the last podcast that
will come out of the studio and in the next
podcast will be a brand new studio and I'm excited
about that, looking forward to it. Some little bitch about
in your new studio for some the nine reasons, so
looking to the of course they will complain, and uh
always have. I've been working with the I Heart engineering
(57:58):
department to try to get the line putty into the studio,
so there's been a lot of emails back and forth
to get all that done. So of course this assumes
that that line will be put in and that set
equipment will work in the new studio, so we'll see
how that goes. But looking forward to that. Anyway, I
have a great rest of your Sunday. Thank you for
supporting the podcast. Tell a friend, Sharing is caring, Sharing
(58:20):
is caring. Uh, so help us out and we'll catch
you then. Thank you
Host
Ben Maller
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