September 5, 2021 • 38 mins
While some occupy their day with food and drink, the fellas provide you with enough ear candy to fill your holiday appetite..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break three for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
a Sunday Sunday Sunday podcast extravaganza of the Fifth Hour
with Ben Mallard. Because four hours a night are clearly
not enough, we do this eight days a week, even
(00:44):
on in a holiday weekend. There is no stopping, no
stopping the machine that is the Fifth Hour Podcast. And
we again thank you for listening, for supporting, for downloading,
for sharing the podcast. And remember sharing is caring. Sharing
(01:06):
is caring. So tell a friend, tell a friend, keep
those numbers up, up, up and away. Uh. And we
do appreciate your loyalty, your support for the podcast. So
with that, as they back up, we are joined yet
again from West of the four Oh I saw I
(01:35):
saw a triggering tweet? You want me to read it?
Are you? You triggered? By a tweet. Well hold on
because the crowd wanted they didn't give me the proper introduction.
So I no, I don't play that. Don't play that? Hot?
Dare you? What's that? I like? If you were to
hit the links genuine as a golfer, I can see
(01:56):
you in those um, I can see in the type
of rocking pan like Paynte Stewart used to wear with
the stirrups. Yeah, no, no, no, it's just the crowd.
They love that cheer. When I'm I was a small crowd,
I'm in a big crowd guy. Anyway, we have the
mail bag and we will answer your questions for as
long as we have time. For as long as we
(02:18):
have time, we will answer a question. Now, you can
send questions in via email. Most people post on Facebook,
but there is a growing number of fans of the
podcast that send us questions. The email and the email
address very simple. It's a real fifth Hour at gmail
dot com, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. And
(02:40):
just put question in the headline and you can join
the many many members of the Malle militia that listen
to the Fifth Hour podcasts and are part of it
and enjoy the festivities on the Friday podcast. We got
it up late, but I debut the P Principles in
honor of my guest on the P Principles of Radio. Yeah,
(03:03):
you said I had to think off my chest and
I just let it, let it fly. Yeah. It was
a passion, enthusiasm and entertainment, the P principle which I'm
gonna I'm gonna write a book about that P principle
and just put put that in there. But anyway, this
is the what's the title of the book. Uh, yeah,
(03:26):
Well that'll be a chapter. Ten will be a chapter. Uh.
I think I'll actually write a chapter about the Friday Podcast.
I think that will just this week's podcast. The effort
to get the podcast up I believe will be in
in a chapter in the book. But we have questions.
Gary from Pittsburgh writes in He says, Ben, I listened
(03:47):
to all the Fifth Hour podcast religiously. Well, thank you, Gary,
I appreciate that listening. Last week, you said you've got
sixteen dollars and ninety one cents for your bottle endeavors. Yes,
I saved water bottles for many, many months, and then
I got sixteen ninety one cents. He says at ten
cents a bottle, you really only got credit for a
hundred and sixty nine bottles. Sorry to pile on, but
(04:10):
Planet Earth does say thank you all. I'm here, so
I'm not leaving Planet Earth anytime. By the way, please
explain to those dummies that crushing the bottles has no effect.
As the old rilla goes. What weighs more a pound
of bricks or a pound of feathers, Well, that is
that is accurate. I'm just telling you. I was repeating
Gary what I had heard online and what people were saying,
(04:31):
and so that's just what I I gave you. And
there were some people that did have the crushed water
bottles and they appeared to get more money. But I
agree with you. I think that the weight does not change. Now.
The thing that you could do, which would be illegal
and you should not do, is they don't really go
through every bottle to make sure that they're empty. Like
this conceivable. You could You could use Houston astro type
(04:53):
cheating techniques and leave some water bottles not full but
partially full. That would add to the but that would
be wrong. You should not do that. Uh, It's incorrect.
He also says Gary, he might call on a newby night.
That'd be great. I love to talk to Gary anytime
we have a newbie night. Feel free to call. You
don't have to wait for a newbie night. You can
call him whenever. Gary said, I love listening to those
(05:14):
clue as people get taken for a ride. But I'll
play along for the good of the show. And he says,
is that stick or true to stain for Mr West
of the four oh five, Well, it depends on the day, Gary,
depends on the day. Uh. Generally we we get along
pretty good. But there's a few times that I want
to wring his neck, and I'm sure he wants to
kick my ass as well. So it's a mutual just
(05:35):
dislike situation. You're talking about me, of course, who else
would you talking about? Like, I'm the Golden Child. What
are you talking about? Golden Child? What are you talking No,
I'm like Pete Mitchell, I'm like Maverick, Like you need
me as your wingman, Like that's that's what you go
into fire for with with a guy like me. That's
(05:58):
from Star Wars. Yeah, look at Annakin Skylalker. Yeah you
picked up on that. Look at that. It's good very nice. Anyway,
Gary from Pittsburgh says, I have never met Pete from Pittsburgh. Yeah,
all right, Well I tried to contact Pete this week.
I was actually gonna put him on the podcast on Friday,
(06:20):
and Pete did not answer his phone. Now, in fairness,
I called him at a very odd hour. And I
never give my number to Pete because he's nuts, So
I don't I don't do that. But anyway, Carlos in
Bang Bang Houston writes in and says, did we really
replace the couple in Kentucky for the diaper wearing couple
(06:41):
in Florida? He says, also with kids going back to school,
what were some of your good and bad memories when
you guys were in school. Also, a couple of people
you guys can have on the podcast, he says, the
Great Mirro a k A. Russef and Mattress Mac Mattress Max,
(07:01):
the guy in Houston who gets headlines because he bets.
He bets ridiculous amounts of Moody to hedge his bets
because he for years he's been doing this. Where the
Astros win the World Series, you buy furniture by July
one if the Astros going to win the world serious
everything's free, or if the Texans or the Rockets. I
can't really do that right now because those teams blow.
(07:23):
But he has done it, and I would I would
put him on. It's an interesting bit that the guy does.
And as far as school, I think my memories are
similar to a lot of people, maybe even you here
were I remember the excitement my mom had to buy
me a new lunch box and to get me a backpack,
and it was like a big to do. We would
(07:44):
go down to the store and it was like a
big thing and it was very important, you know, and
she always made it seem like the next grade was
like I was, I was gonna have a grown up,
you know. When I went from third to fourth grade,
that was big, and then my mom and fourth but
then then sixth grade, the last year of elementary school,
and then on the seventh my everything was massively important,
um And I remember excitement about that my mom had,
(08:05):
and then I remember how disappointed I was when I realized,
oh my summer's over, I gotta go back and it sucks.
And so I don't know any odd memories stand up,
but no, I just I mean going back to school
always giving the thought of filing. I could play sports
again because you had that lull down the summer and
you'd go from obviously football or or a soccer and
(08:27):
depending on the athlete, and then the basketball and then
the baseball. So I was always playing football. And yeah, man,
I football has been in the blood since I was
a kids. That was the one good thing about school
starting up again. I hated the summer oddly enough, and
uh and now I don't mind it. Yeah, well I
don't have a summer, so you know. Fine. Uh let's
(08:48):
see here. Uh, next one from who do we have?
Queen Roxanne? Queen Roxanne in Colorado says, first off, answer
your answer about people going slow in the fast lane
was perfect. Roxanne says, I worked thirty miles from home.
It's all highway, and every day it never fails. There's
an asshole in my way. And get this, there's a
(09:11):
sign every mile that says keep right except to pass. Now,
if I want to speed and risk getting a ticket,
get out of my way. Creeen rock Sand says, I
agree with you. Also, this is for the silver sneaker
couple in Florida. She writes the Mallard militia bust each
other's balls. It's what we do, which is true. It's
(09:32):
part of the code of the Mallard militia. Obviously Helen
has no problem doing it, but it seems she can't
handle it back. And that's the problem. Queen Roxanne writes,
if you don't like what is being said or who
is on the show, you don't have to listen. Problem solved.
And then she points out that I am on five
(09:52):
nights a week with David without David rather, and you
can tune into that. Chill out on the hate, as
she said, is if you can't understand, it's all in fun,
not your problem. And Ben, don't ever say I'm jealous
of Helen. Queen Roxanne writes, I know that must have
been a joke on your part. I would never be
jealous of someone that acts the way she does. So
(10:15):
Helen and stud chill the funk out and go find
some something else to listen to. Wow. No, no, I
don't want. I don't want Helen and Stu to stop listening.
And we want to keep all the people in the
store we can keep. You don't send customers away. You
don't want to send customers away. Shouldn't do that. You
just serve them bad food, that's all we should do. Well,
you're the ones spitting in their food. I'm not ring.
(10:39):
You're you're adding the secret sauce to their food, which
you shouldn't be doing. Now here's the rebuttal from Helen.
Uh and she says, Benjamin, the unvaccinated, misogynistic gascon had
the opportunity to apologize for calling me the C word,
and he refused. As Stu says, just like the hats
(11:00):
firing washed up Cam Newton for refusing to get vaccinated.
How will Fox Sports Radio I Heart Media now deal
with the washed up gascon as our complaint goes to
the highest levels of corporate signed Helen and Stu in
Palmetto Bay. Your level of concerned gascon one to ten
(11:23):
on the ability of Helen to destroy your career? Should
I jump on the Mallard scale a panic or now, well, yeah,
that's the Mallard scale. Well it would be the Gascon
scale of panics, So one to ten with tend being
the worst of the worst, tend being You're called into
hr and that's it. It's It's a one hr is
(11:44):
not even around right now, They're all remote, so I
won't be called in anywhere. Well, they'll send you the same.
They'll fly you to San Antonio to meet with HR.
I could gonna that can take a trip to Texas.
And I don't even know what she's talking about. I think, uh,
I think two or three weeks ago she was loud
and proud about her and Stu having been black belts
and karate. Um real real tough couple there. Um they
(12:07):
have problem with language, but yeah, they're they're real tough
with the with what they throw. So they got in
the ring. I I really can't apologize for someone getting
in the ring and getting knocked the funk out. So
we've given them too much airtime. That's exactly what we've done.
This is like, this is like when you when you
bring on Blind Scott or or somebody else like Mark
the full name guy. Just belligerent fools, move along. That's
(12:30):
what we need to do. Well, it's a mailbag, and
they send questions in via the mailbag. They don't send
you other questions and then't even send good comments in
nice send. They send things in and uh, we're looking
for all the content we can get. So I have
no issue with Helen again, you do, and you'd like
to apologize right now? Bury the hashet like bygones, be bygones.
(12:51):
Guess gon, here's another opportunity to apologize to Helen. Yeah,
I'm gonna ta a hard pass. You're passing, so you
need a hard pass, all right. Really, what you're saying
is you're not that guy. I'll trust me you're not
that guy. Yeah, that's what you're saying when it comes
(13:13):
to apology. Who is that? Who is that from? Oh
you've not seen that? From internet meme that's been bouncing
around Twitter for months. There was a guy in a
supermarket in Arizona that some teenage kid was but it
was it was given him a hard time for not
wearing a mask. So the guy the guy went nuclear
(13:34):
and he went back at the guy and just started
screaming out of him. And you're not that guy. I'll
trust me, you're not that guy. It's great. That's helling
right there. That's exactly who it is. Cliff and Nashville
Rights in the Music City, says Ben with the treadmill
and thirteen thousand pieces, Are there any good walking trails
in the north woods of the Mallard matching yes, there
(13:56):
are many fine walking trails. Have I walked down any
of them? Uh? No, not yet. I've I've not been
able to. Everything's all wonky and crazy and my schedule
has not been adjusted. My favorite time to work out
is actually after the radio show. I'd love to get
on the treadmill and line down after a show and
let the good and the bad and the ugly all
(14:18):
the escape via sweat. But I have been able to
do that obviously, So I'm not able to walk around
at the time the show ends because I will be
pulled into a police car and questioned for walking around
at that time. So I have I've not been doing that,
but I do plan on getting some some of the
the exercise back. I'll be going on some walks. Probably
(14:41):
by the time you hear this podcast over the weekend,
I will have done a long weekend. Right, it's a
long week. It's uh, it's a very long week. How
about Eddie Man Eddie. I love the fact that Eddie
does not care about the importance of certain things on radio.
I said this on Friday, but well, no, like there's
(15:03):
there's certain events that are pretty important for sports radio.
I think we can all agree on that like the
NFL Draft, first week of the NFL regular season, these
are important dates on the calendar that you should yeah, yeah,
there their benchmark d and Eddie doesn't doesn't give a funk.
I'm impressed, Like I'm not wired that way. But Eddie
just doesn't care. Like he missed the NFL Draft to
(15:24):
go to New Zealand, He's missing the first week of
the NFL season. He's going to d C to see
a Charger game against Washington, And I give him credit,
and I'd be like, oh my god, I gotta be there.
I get to adjust my schedule. I gotta make sure
I'm on the air. It's it's good. I'm glad that
Eddie has that ability to not really care about missing
(15:46):
important dates. I I don't have that. Well, I guess
the one question is is what would you do if
you're in his spot? You know, you're you're an overnight
update anchor. So well, I was like, Hey, I'm gonna
in this into something that I know there's a lot
of people listening overnight, and that I'll be so good
and I'll be so wonderful at my job that people
(16:09):
will take notice of what I'm doing. And I will
take every opportunity to try to improve and to get better.
And uh, you know, it's not the job you have,
it's the job that you can get. You know. One
thing leads to another. It's like leapfrog, right, one thing
leads to another. So that's the way I look at it.
But I hope he has a great time in Washington.
And again if you missed it on Friday, Eddie says
(16:31):
he will meet and greet listeners and hang out with listeners.
So if you're in d C or within driving distance
you want to hang out with Eddie, he might be
able to make that happen, as long as you're not
a crazy person, valls. Fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee says,
what was the first concert you went to and did
you take a date and did you score for both
of you? Well, I didn't go to any concerts when
I was when I was younger. The first concert I
(16:52):
ever went to. It was Wayne Go Tango, which is
a Kiss FM concert in Anaheim at Anaheim Stadium, and
I was working security for the radio station that they
had all hands on deck. They had a sign up
sheet and I signed up and they had me because
I was fat and a big guy. They had me
in security, and that was back when Hoodie and the
(17:14):
Blowfish were among the headliners of that event. So I've
only been to a few other concerts with my my wife,
But when I was dating back in the day, I
never never really did that. What about you? I think
the only concert I've been to you was a Cypress
Hill concert. I did it down in San Diego at
(17:35):
Fourth and B and um Man. I watched in that place,
Ben it looked like just fog had escaped the harbor
area and just went inside. It was just everyone was
either smoking or getting secondary highs. It was phenomenal. And
uh yeah, I was a rady group. Hell of a time.
But that was the only time I've been to a
concert I was. The talent was the talent first rate,
(17:57):
and a lot of first round picks, lottery picks. There's
a lot of body art. Ah, Yes, hyper still sure
Sure Pierre in Springfield, mass home of the Pro Basketball
Hall of Fame better known as alf the Alien o Piner.
On the show, he says, how does it feel to
get stabbed in the back once again? I have not
been this match since oh nine, fs R has chosen
(18:19):
to nominate Dan Patrick over you for the Marconi I'm
guessing that the Danets put him over the top. Yeah,
I don't. I don't know think about that. I do know, Alf,
there's a lot of politics involved, and I am not
in the group of the cool kids. So the Marconi policy,
(18:41):
I don't know anything about that. To be honestly, I
worked at w e I briefly remotely, and they won
the Marconi Award or eighteen when I was there, so
I consider myself a Marconi Award winning broadcaster. And Alf
also says any truth to the rumor that Sports Talk
Berry is moonlighting as an online high school football team
(19:02):
general manager? Yes, in Ohio? Why not for sports Talk Berry.
Alf also says, I know I've suggested this in the past,
but I think w e I alumnus Mikey Adams would
be a great guest. He's full of tremendous old radio
and TV. Yeah, yeah, I am all about it. I
love Mikey Adams, very nice guy, have some great stories. Uh,
(19:25):
And we'll have to get Mikey Adams on on the show.
There's also some other big names that we have considered
considered getting on, so well, we'll see I got a
new number. I think I told you about that the
other day, A new number from a a football legend
who might be joining us on the podcast. Might being
a weasel word because I still haven't scheduled it yet,
(19:46):
So we'll see what happens with that, Ricardo. If you
need another telephone number to use too, you can always
sign up for Google Voice and so I'll give you
access to another telephone number if you need to. Uh,
that's an option. So it's free and I don't have
to give my number out to the crazy people. Do
you have to do that? Yeah? All right, Uh so
(20:09):
that's a good idea. Actually, what else do we have here?
Ricardo from Fresno says, hey, man, what's that Russian website?
You don't use to stream games? Uh? Yeah, I don't.
I don't. My memories hazy right now, Ricardo, I don't.
I don't. I don't remember, I don't know. You know,
I don't speak Russian? Do you speak Russian? Guest gun negative,
(20:29):
I don't. I don't use any kind of Russian websites
to watch the NFL, or boxing or USC or No.
Surely not pay per view of mens. You should not
do that for paper and illegal. You should not do that. Uh.
Lord Goofa has announced that he wants to set up
a DraftKings Mallard Militia league. It would be a free
(20:50):
contest or we could have a paid contest. I think
that's a great idea. Lord Goufa, send me some details
and I will I will toss it out there. We
should actually get DraftKings to set up a special league
for us. But if you want to do it and
do the busy body work, good luck on that. Let
me know. John and St. Paul Minnesota, says Ben who
wears the headband best? John McEnroe, Johnny Lawrence or Baker Mayfield.
(21:18):
So out of that, I'm gonna go with John McEnroe
out of that group, because he's old school my memories.
If I closed my eyes and I think of John McEnroe,
I think of him at Wimbledon with the headband. I
think of him at a big major tournament with the headband.
So that's the one that pops in my head. Baker
(21:38):
Mayfield currently is is near the top, but there's there's
also a lot of like old NBA players that used
to wear the headband, now not so much. I don't
think there's too many guys wearing the headman's Baker is
obviously in football, but I'm trying to think of basketball. Well,
Lebron has done a little bit, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(22:00):
all right, Uh, Carmela does a lot. I'm marking Ottawa,
he says. I don't have a question. I just have
a picture of some delicious poutine I had mark of course,
the great cultural dish poutine. He says. It's it's not
pronounced poutine, but rather poutine's in or something like that.
(22:23):
P O O T S I N N. Because it's
French Quebec. Mhm uh nana Uh, it is pronounced poutine.
I have had many poutine dishes. I love poutine. It's
one of my go to places. I told you remember Guestcon,
there's a place in Anaheim that I go to that
has poutine that I love around here and I'm I'm
(22:47):
all about it. But it's poutine. If I go to
the restaurant, say hey, what do you got poutine? That's
what they got. It's not I'm not if I was
in Quebec, if was in Montreal or something like that,
then I guess I would have to call it whatever
that is. Um My, my wife. Actually she's she's a
nine one one operator. She had to call She told
(23:10):
me she had to call the police in Montreal over something.
There was something I don't know. I don't know anything
about it, nor should I know some of my business.
But she had to call the police of Montreal and
she calls them up and they were speaking obviously in French.
They weren't speaking English. So it became, uh communication issue,
right because my wife does not speak the native tongue.
(23:30):
So not surprising, but mildly interesting. Blind Scott from the
North End of Boston says, about once a year, I
smashed the dryer doors, shutting it and then it causes
me five hundred dollars to fix. Uh what just happened
the mechanism that latches onto the door smashed the pieces
(23:52):
because it won't shut tightly. Blind Scott says, I think
cited people might even have this problem. The type of
dryer I had, I he says, it's worth four thousand dollars.
So that blind Scott, that's more about your anger issues,
as you have referred to like as you have referred
to blind Scott, there's a lot of rage occasionally that
(24:16):
that comes up. It's like lava bubbling up to the surface.
And so more about you. But I've never I've never
slammed the dryer door so much that I've broken it.
I don't like doing laundry, but I've never done that.
So have you ever broken a dryer? No? I did
it with a knife the other day, though. I did
(24:39):
with a sharp steak knife, and it was what did
you do with that? I'm confused. It was not peeling
good enough on this sweet potato that I was carving up,
and I was like piste and I threw it that
snapped and broken in half. You threw the knife for
you through the night. Through the knife. Yeah, throwing to
(25:02):
sweep potato. I would think that would do the less
damage the sweet potato, not a step knife was probably
as long as you're index or middle finger. Well, you
have some angry issues over there. Let me let me
tell you you got anger going at a at an
event for a second, give me that moment. Yeah everything good? Now? Yeah,
(25:26):
what do you do it? You're like looking for something
on your phone? I know you are. You were just
I'm not looking for anything and poking around looking and looking. Yeah,
that's it. Come down right when you when you talk,
this is what the listeners here. Yeah, I used to
(25:47):
get that back of the day sleeping crickets, boy Scouts
I was. I was a Cub Scout more than a
boy Scout. I was in the Cub Scouts for several years,
and then I did bree flee joined the boy Scouts.
But I was more about the Cup Scouts, and I
went on camping trips and all that did. The whole
thing got my badges, and yeah, I was excited when
(26:09):
I got to use the pocket knife. It felt like
I was growing up. Adrian in the Milehi City Rights
City says, how long have you been using garlic as
medication when you feel like you may be getting sick?
I'll have to give that a try next time I
get sick. But you should not, Adrian, you should not
do that in lieu of actual medication. But I've been
doing it for many many years. I don't know exactly
(26:31):
how many how many years everything runs together, but an
old DJ had told me that if you have laryngitis,
this will work, and then I it did work, and
then I had learned that it also helps if you're
if you've got like the flu, or the cold. It
will help because the garlic will. It's nature's Uh, what's
(26:51):
the word I'm looking for here? Um, powerful medicine, powerful
medicine by prescription? What am I thinking of your guest? On?
What am I thinking up here? The word? Uh, it's
definitely not prophylactic remedy. No, it's a remedy. But you
know how you can get prescription, Like the doctors will
(27:12):
give you stuff. You're not supposed to take too much
of it. Because you take too much of it, it's
bad for you when you're sick. Now. But there's a
certain word which I'm for some reason not not remembering,
but anyway, Uh, it's it is very powerful garlic. And
the good thing is, as an added bonus, no one
want to be around you when you when you suck
on garlic or eat garlic, because they will they will
(27:32):
run to the hills. So it has it has a
couple of good qualities to it, he says. Also Adrian
in the Mile High City, have either of you been
to b J's Restaurant and brew House, a national chain.
If you haven't, you need to go. I have been there,
he says. Try the puzuki dessert. My family and I
were there this past weekend and the meal and the
desserts were delicious. The puzuki is a warm brownie slash
(27:55):
cookie served with ice cream on top. Uh. Yeah it is.
It is wonderful. Uh. And he says, you can't go
wrong with the Gary Deli chocolate one. I do love
the Gary Deli chocolate. And I had not had the
pezuki until I got in the relationship with my wife.
We were dating and we went to b J's brew
House and she said, Hey, we gotta get the pezuoki.
(28:16):
I'm all about that, and it's a fine dessert. Have
you had the pezuki? He said? I think it's an
Italian dessert. I think never never had it. Um inn
a BJ's but never had the pezuki there? Um? Well,
was that painful for you to go on a date? Uh?
You know obviously the engage in conversation with your wife
(28:37):
as opposed to just go to yes. I hate I
hate conversation. I I don't don't like it. Pay in
the ass. Uh. And again Adrian's desperate for us to
get a Bronco guy on. He says, Dave Logan, Alfred Williams,
how about Rick Lewis the Bronco Radio color commentator. Maybe
caj Hamdler. How about that? Get John Elway on. I
(28:59):
want to go and go big Gett. No, that's your hero,
isn't it. I beg you. We can get him on
the podcast if we schedule. We have to go through
a bunch of pr hacks, but we can get them on. Yeah,
Patrick Smith, is he gonna email us like some of
these other people? Well, what are some of the guests
you've had on? Have you had big enough game guests on?
(29:19):
I mean that coming? Yeah? Yeah, that's what you gotta do.
Neil from the Real Miami right So, and he says,
you mentioned the Luke Long the YouTube documentary. I liked
big dude like you so interesting the perspective for a
five nine dude like me. Neil writes very personal on
(29:40):
all his struggles and such. I have actually spent some
time in Fermintil, Australia. I'm probably butchering that where he
is from lovely little Beach Island in Western Australia, which
is like going to mars on how far it is
so I understand why he may have been left out
of the documentary. That's probab. The main reason please feed
(30:02):
me another documentary recommendation. I don't have any right now.
I have not had an opportunity to catch up on
my documentary, but as soon as I do, Neil, Once
I get TV back, I usually watch in my bed
before I go to bed. On Friday and Saturday, I
watch the documentary. But I've been able to do that.
We have no TV. I could watch on my phone,
but it's not the same. Uh. And he says, And
since you and Gascon are getting famous, who would be
(30:24):
a good actor to portray you? Since Gascon will be
playing the role of himself. Um, yeah, I don't know who? Who?
Who would be me? I I always go with a
fat actor because I'm fat, So I would go with
Jeff Garland from Curb Your Enthusiasm, John Goodman. He's old, though,
(30:48):
so you Yeah, No, I'm not. I'm not Neil right, sinces.
I gave up Facebook like Gascon and many other proud Americans,
so all email corresponses, I mean I'm a bad reckon
because I'm still on Facebook for show reasons? Am I
bad American? I don't know? I mean, do you use
it that much? Or no? No, I don't, I don't
(31:08):
I use it for the show and occasionally just to
make sure some of my relatives are still alive. I
will go on there, but I haven't talked all of you. No,
I don't call people. I don't call people, but I'll
check in and like, I have a lot of cousins
that have kids, and I can kind of like see
them grow up via Facebook without actually having to spend
time with them, you know, because they live far away
(31:29):
and so I can't see him and all that stuff.
But one of my cousins moved close. I love seeing
her kids and we have a great time, wonderful. I'm like,
I'm a cousin. But they called me like Uncle Benny
kind of because I'm like, I'm like an uncle. I'm
like an extra uncle. Hey, you're like Uncle Buck. Wow.
What John Candy was awesome? What are you talking about?
That was? That was a good movie. Yeah, John Candy
(31:51):
got rested. Sluff Man kings games all the time. Every
when Candy passed away. But he was he was a
staple at the Forum and he was Ruce mcnal. Didn't
they buy the Toronto Argonauts together? Wasn't that exactly right?
They signed the guy from Notre Dame the wide receiver.
(32:11):
Rocket is smile. Didn't they bring him to the aunt
Argonauts And that was a big, a big deal, Barry
in Music City, Y we got a couple more yo
yo ma Ben. Exciting time with the new NFL season
about to start. I used to be a Detroit Lion fan,
he writes Barry, but I gave up watching them over
ten years ago for obvious reasons. It occurred to me
(32:33):
that the Lions have been owned by the Ford family
for over fifty eight years, with only one playoff win
during this time. Is it possible that the Ford family
is the worst owner of any professional sports franchise ever?
Uh So, not to go off half cock to your berry,
but this is always one of those things where when
(32:54):
you blame ownership that that's to me, that drives me nuts.
And unless you're the timate meddling owner, I don't think
the Ford family medals. And as far as ownership, that
is one of the great investments of all time. In
the nineteen sixties they paid less than five million. Henry
Ford's grandson paid less than five million for the Lions.
It's been in the family ever since the nineteen sixties.
(33:14):
They're worth over two billion dollars, probably three billion by
the time they sell the team, if they ever do so.
It's great investment. But the only thing I always use
I used Dolan, now I you have used some different analogies,
but I used Dolan. James Dolan has been consistently called,
if not the worst, he's in the top five worst
owners in sports. The Knicks have been terrible for years.
(33:38):
They changed general managers and then they were a playoff team.
Now the Knicks are considered to be a competitive team,
a team that is a factor, not a great team,
but a factor, and they still have James Dolan as
the owner. It's hiring. The problem is bad owners hire
people that don't know what they're doing. And that's the issue.
Right you hire a good general manager, you could be
(33:59):
the most incompetent owner, Like I look at Elgin Baylor
was the Clipper g M A he rest in peace,
Elgin legend of the game, horrible GM. But Donald Sterling
allowed him to pick year after year a top five
player in the lottery, and year after year he picked
the wrong guy. And is that Donald Sterling's fault when
he owned the Clippers, or is that Elgin Baylor's fault
(34:21):
for not picking the right player, unless you're gonna tell me.
Maybe I don't know what happened behind the scenes that
that Sterling was the guy that was meddling. I don't
think he was. He just wanted to go to those
cocktail parties and hang out with other celebrities, is what
he wanted to do back in the day. So last one,
Blake in Arkansas says, guys talking about traveling last week
(34:42):
and going to the SEC game of the week before
Let's go Texas plays at Arkansas September eleven. At that point,
both teams fan bases will still have hope of a
decent season. We're not wrong, but he said, I'm sure
Hog fans will want to give the short Horns a
welcome to the SEC good time. What Blake is feeling
(35:05):
his oats on Arkansas football tickets, barbecue and all that
on me. Google the Hog call and tell me you're
not ready? Horns down, Go Hogs, say yo, have you
been to an SEC game before? No? I know they
(35:26):
The best environment for college football I've been to was
in Norman, Oklahoma, and that's it. I've not been to
too many exotic college football locations. I've been obviously in
l A with the Rose Bowl, which is an all
time the grand daddy of them all. The Rose Bowl.
Have been to that and Colosseum, which is a mausoleum,
although they renovated it. Uh yeah, So now what about you.
(35:49):
You you've traveled around, You've done a bunch of that stuff,
haven't you know? I've only been an NFL I mean
outside of you know, USC, New c l A. I
haven't been anywhere else for for a college college affair. Unfortunately.
I'd love to go to the Red River Shootout Texas
and Oklahoma. I'd love to go down to SEC. I mean,
I want to go to the Iron Bowl obviously with
Alabama and Auburn Um Death Valley would be fun with
(36:11):
l s u um a night game. I mean, my
favorite venues so far has been for baseball. It's either
San Diego or San Francisco and then Kansas City for
the NFL. It just I don't know, man, It's it's awesome.
I love her. Ohad. Yeah. The ballpark, the Giants ballpark's
(36:32):
great in San Francisco. They nailed that one. Padres pretty good.
Pittsburgh's awesome, and you gotta get to Pittsburgh. That is unreal, man.
That looks like it looks fake. When you're sitting in
the ballpark the yellow bridge out there in the skyline,
It's like, no, this isn't real. This is like a
movie set. This is not real, and it is. Finnway
is cool, but not the seats sucked most of the
(36:54):
I gotta sit out on the Green Monster because those
are the newer seats and that's more accommodating for the
larger person. But Finway, I have not been to rigging
fields since he got renovated. I was there in Tropicana.
I've never been there. Yeah, I've never been to Tropicana, dude.
Tropicana is like a retirement home. Like you park on
(37:16):
dead faded grass and you have people that are just
sitting in these fold out chairs, these like picnic chairs,
taking your money or for parking stuffs. It's so old school, man,
that's nice. It's kind of like that. In Buffalo. I
was at a Bills game one time, and I to
one Bills game Bills Titans game, and it did have
you parked on like a like a dirt field, and
(37:38):
there were porta potties out there and and all that
so anyway, all right, that'll do it. We'll be back.
I will have live shows all week, no days off,
no days off, holiday weekend, but we'll be there hanging out,
yapping away leading in to Benny Versus the Penny in
the NFL weekend. We're still working out the logistics, right,
(38:00):
We're still working out the logistics on that. Yeah, alright,
So we'll have some more information on social media during
the week. Have a great rest of your Sunday and
we'll catch you then.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break three for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
a Sunday Sunday Sunday podcast extravaganza of the Fifth Hour
with Ben Mallard. Because four hours a night are clearly
not enough, we do this eight days a week, even
(00:44):
on in a holiday weekend. There is no stopping, no
stopping the machine that is the Fifth Hour Podcast. And
we again thank you for listening, for supporting, for downloading,
for sharing the podcast. And remember sharing is caring. Sharing
(01:06):
is caring. So tell a friend, tell a friend, keep
those numbers up, up, up and away. Uh. And we
do appreciate your loyalty, your support for the podcast. So
with that, as they back up, we are joined yet
again from West of the four Oh I saw I
(01:35):
saw a triggering tweet? You want me to read it?
Are you? You triggered? By a tweet. Well hold on
because the crowd wanted they didn't give me the proper introduction.
So I no, I don't play that. Don't play that? Hot?
Dare you? What's that? I like? If you were to
hit the links genuine as a golfer, I can see
(01:56):
you in those um, I can see in the type
of rocking pan like Paynte Stewart used to wear with
the stirrups. Yeah, no, no, no, it's just the crowd.
They love that cheer. When I'm I was a small crowd,
I'm in a big crowd guy. Anyway, we have the
mail bag and we will answer your questions for as
long as we have time. For as long as we
(02:18):
have time, we will answer a question. Now, you can
send questions in via email. Most people post on Facebook,
but there is a growing number of fans of the
podcast that send us questions. The email and the email
address very simple. It's a real fifth Hour at gmail
dot com, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. And
(02:40):
just put question in the headline and you can join
the many many members of the Malle militia that listen
to the Fifth Hour podcasts and are part of it
and enjoy the festivities on the Friday podcast. We got
it up late, but I debut the P Principles in
honor of my guest on the P Principles of Radio. Yeah,
(03:03):
you said I had to think off my chest and
I just let it, let it fly. Yeah. It was
a passion, enthusiasm and entertainment, the P principle which I'm
gonna I'm gonna write a book about that P principle
and just put put that in there. But anyway, this
is the what's the title of the book. Uh, yeah,
(03:26):
Well that'll be a chapter. Ten will be a chapter. Uh.
I think I'll actually write a chapter about the Friday Podcast.
I think that will just this week's podcast. The effort
to get the podcast up I believe will be in
in a chapter in the book. But we have questions.
Gary from Pittsburgh writes in He says, Ben, I listened
(03:47):
to all the Fifth Hour podcast religiously. Well, thank you, Gary,
I appreciate that listening. Last week, you said you've got
sixteen dollars and ninety one cents for your bottle endeavors. Yes,
I saved water bottles for many, many months, and then
I got sixteen ninety one cents. He says at ten
cents a bottle, you really only got credit for a
hundred and sixty nine bottles. Sorry to pile on, but
(04:10):
Planet Earth does say thank you all. I'm here, so
I'm not leaving Planet Earth anytime. By the way, please
explain to those dummies that crushing the bottles has no effect.
As the old rilla goes. What weighs more a pound
of bricks or a pound of feathers, Well, that is
that is accurate. I'm just telling you. I was repeating
Gary what I had heard online and what people were saying,
(04:31):
and so that's just what I I gave you. And
there were some people that did have the crushed water
bottles and they appeared to get more money. But I
agree with you. I think that the weight does not change. Now.
The thing that you could do, which would be illegal
and you should not do, is they don't really go
through every bottle to make sure that they're empty. Like
this conceivable. You could You could use Houston astro type
(04:53):
cheating techniques and leave some water bottles not full but
partially full. That would add to the but that would
be wrong. You should not do that. Uh, It's incorrect.
He also says Gary, he might call on a newby night.
That'd be great. I love to talk to Gary anytime
we have a newbie night. Feel free to call. You
don't have to wait for a newbie night. You can
call him whenever. Gary said, I love listening to those
(05:14):
clue as people get taken for a ride. But I'll
play along for the good of the show. And he says,
is that stick or true to stain for Mr West
of the four oh five, Well, it depends on the day, Gary,
depends on the day. Uh. Generally we we get along
pretty good. But there's a few times that I want
to wring his neck, and I'm sure he wants to
kick my ass as well. So it's a mutual just
(05:35):
dislike situation. You're talking about me, of course, who else
would you talking about? Like, I'm the Golden Child. What
are you talking about? Golden Child? What are you talking No,
I'm like Pete Mitchell, I'm like Maverick, Like you need
me as your wingman, Like that's that's what you go
into fire for with with a guy like me. That's
(05:58):
from Star Wars. Yeah, look at Annakin Skylalker. Yeah you
picked up on that. Look at that. It's good very nice. Anyway,
Gary from Pittsburgh says, I have never met Pete from Pittsburgh. Yeah,
all right, Well I tried to contact Pete this week.
I was actually gonna put him on the podcast on Friday,
(06:20):
and Pete did not answer his phone. Now, in fairness,
I called him at a very odd hour. And I
never give my number to Pete because he's nuts, So
I don't I don't do that. But anyway, Carlos in
Bang Bang Houston writes in and says, did we really
replace the couple in Kentucky for the diaper wearing couple
(06:41):
in Florida? He says, also with kids going back to school,
what were some of your good and bad memories when
you guys were in school. Also, a couple of people
you guys can have on the podcast, he says, the
Great Mirro a k A. Russef and Mattress Mac Mattress Max,
(07:01):
the guy in Houston who gets headlines because he bets.
He bets ridiculous amounts of Moody to hedge his bets
because he for years he's been doing this. Where the
Astros win the World Series, you buy furniture by July
one if the Astros going to win the world serious
everything's free, or if the Texans or the Rockets. I
can't really do that right now because those teams blow.
(07:23):
But he has done it, and I would I would
put him on. It's an interesting bit that the guy does.
And as far as school, I think my memories are
similar to a lot of people, maybe even you here
were I remember the excitement my mom had to buy
me a new lunch box and to get me a backpack,
and it was like a big to do. We would
(07:44):
go down to the store and it was like a
big thing and it was very important, you know, and
she always made it seem like the next grade was
like I was, I was gonna have a grown up,
you know. When I went from third to fourth grade,
that was big, and then my mom and fourth but
then then sixth grade, the last year of elementary school,
and then on the seventh my everything was massively important,
um And I remember excitement about that my mom had,
(08:05):
and then I remember how disappointed I was when I realized,
oh my summer's over, I gotta go back and it sucks.
And so I don't know any odd memories stand up,
but no, I just I mean going back to school
always giving the thought of filing. I could play sports
again because you had that lull down the summer and
you'd go from obviously football or or a soccer and
(08:27):
depending on the athlete, and then the basketball and then
the baseball. So I was always playing football. And yeah, man,
I football has been in the blood since I was
a kids. That was the one good thing about school
starting up again. I hated the summer oddly enough, and
uh and now I don't mind it. Yeah, well I
don't have a summer, so you know. Fine. Uh let's
(08:48):
see here. Uh, next one from who do we have?
Queen Roxanne? Queen Roxanne in Colorado says, first off, answer
your answer about people going slow in the fast lane
was perfect. Roxanne says, I worked thirty miles from home.
It's all highway, and every day it never fails. There's
an asshole in my way. And get this, there's a
(09:11):
sign every mile that says keep right except to pass. Now,
if I want to speed and risk getting a ticket,
get out of my way. Creeen rock Sand says, I
agree with you. Also, this is for the silver sneaker
couple in Florida. She writes the Mallard militia bust each
other's balls. It's what we do, which is true. It's
(09:32):
part of the code of the Mallard militia. Obviously Helen
has no problem doing it, but it seems she can't
handle it back. And that's the problem. Queen Roxanne writes,
if you don't like what is being said or who
is on the show, you don't have to listen. Problem solved.
And then she points out that I am on five
(09:52):
nights a week with David without David rather, and you
can tune into that. Chill out on the hate, as
she said, is if you can't understand, it's all in fun,
not your problem. And Ben, don't ever say I'm jealous
of Helen. Queen Roxanne writes, I know that must have
been a joke on your part. I would never be
jealous of someone that acts the way she does. So
(10:15):
Helen and stud chill the funk out and go find
some something else to listen to. Wow. No, no, I
don't want. I don't want Helen and Stu to stop listening.
And we want to keep all the people in the
store we can keep. You don't send customers away. You
don't want to send customers away. Shouldn't do that. You
just serve them bad food, that's all we should do. Well,
you're the ones spitting in their food. I'm not ring.
(10:39):
You're you're adding the secret sauce to their food, which
you shouldn't be doing. Now here's the rebuttal from Helen.
Uh and she says, Benjamin, the unvaccinated, misogynistic gascon had
the opportunity to apologize for calling me the C word,
and he refused. As Stu says, just like the hats
(11:00):
firing washed up Cam Newton for refusing to get vaccinated.
How will Fox Sports Radio I Heart Media now deal
with the washed up gascon as our complaint goes to
the highest levels of corporate signed Helen and Stu in
Palmetto Bay. Your level of concerned gascon one to ten
(11:23):
on the ability of Helen to destroy your career? Should
I jump on the Mallard scale a panic or now, well, yeah,
that's the Mallard scale. Well it would be the Gascon
scale of panics, So one to ten with tend being
the worst of the worst, tend being You're called into
hr and that's it. It's It's a one hr is
(11:44):
not even around right now, They're all remote, so I
won't be called in anywhere. Well, they'll send you the same.
They'll fly you to San Antonio to meet with HR.
I could gonna that can take a trip to Texas.
And I don't even know what she's talking about. I think, uh,
I think two or three weeks ago she was loud
and proud about her and Stu having been black belts
and karate. Um real real tough couple there. Um they
(12:07):
have problem with language, but yeah, they're they're real tough
with the with what they throw. So they got in
the ring. I I really can't apologize for someone getting
in the ring and getting knocked the funk out. So
we've given them too much airtime. That's exactly what we've done.
This is like, this is like when you when you
bring on Blind Scott or or somebody else like Mark
the full name guy. Just belligerent fools, move along. That's
(12:30):
what we need to do. Well, it's a mailbag, and
they send questions in via the mailbag. They don't send
you other questions and then't even send good comments in
nice send. They send things in and uh, we're looking
for all the content we can get. So I have
no issue with Helen again, you do, and you'd like
to apologize right now? Bury the hashet like bygones, be bygones.
(12:51):
Guess gon, here's another opportunity to apologize to Helen. Yeah,
I'm gonna ta a hard pass. You're passing, so you
need a hard pass, all right. Really, what you're saying
is you're not that guy. I'll trust me you're not
that guy. Yeah, that's what you're saying when it comes
(13:13):
to apology. Who is that? Who is that from? Oh
you've not seen that? From internet meme that's been bouncing
around Twitter for months. There was a guy in a
supermarket in Arizona that some teenage kid was but it
was it was given him a hard time for not
wearing a mask. So the guy the guy went nuclear
(13:34):
and he went back at the guy and just started
screaming out of him. And you're not that guy. I'll
trust me, you're not that guy. It's great. That's helling
right there. That's exactly who it is. Cliff and Nashville
Rights in the Music City, says Ben with the treadmill
and thirteen thousand pieces, Are there any good walking trails
in the north woods of the Mallard matching yes, there
(13:56):
are many fine walking trails. Have I walked down any
of them? Uh? No, not yet. I've I've not been
able to. Everything's all wonky and crazy and my schedule
has not been adjusted. My favorite time to work out
is actually after the radio show. I'd love to get
on the treadmill and line down after a show and
let the good and the bad and the ugly all
(14:18):
the escape via sweat. But I have been able to
do that obviously, So I'm not able to walk around
at the time the show ends because I will be
pulled into a police car and questioned for walking around
at that time. So I have I've not been doing that,
but I do plan on getting some some of the
the exercise back. I'll be going on some walks. Probably
(14:41):
by the time you hear this podcast over the weekend,
I will have done a long weekend. Right, it's a
long week. It's uh, it's a very long week. How
about Eddie Man Eddie. I love the fact that Eddie
does not care about the importance of certain things on radio.
I said this on Friday, but well, no, like there's
(15:03):
there's certain events that are pretty important for sports radio.
I think we can all agree on that like the
NFL Draft, first week of the NFL regular season, these
are important dates on the calendar that you should yeah, yeah,
there their benchmark d and Eddie doesn't doesn't give a funk.
I'm impressed, Like I'm not wired that way. But Eddie
just doesn't care. Like he missed the NFL Draft to
(15:24):
go to New Zealand, He's missing the first week of
the NFL season. He's going to d C to see
a Charger game against Washington, And I give him credit,
and I'd be like, oh my god, I gotta be there.
I get to adjust my schedule. I gotta make sure
I'm on the air. It's it's good. I'm glad that
Eddie has that ability to not really care about missing
(15:46):
important dates. I I don't have that. Well, I guess
the one question is is what would you do if
you're in his spot? You know, you're you're an overnight
update anchor. So well, I was like, Hey, I'm gonna
in this into something that I know there's a lot
of people listening overnight, and that I'll be so good
and I'll be so wonderful at my job that people
(16:09):
will take notice of what I'm doing. And I will
take every opportunity to try to improve and to get better.
And uh, you know, it's not the job you have,
it's the job that you can get. You know. One
thing leads to another. It's like leapfrog, right, one thing
leads to another. So that's the way I look at it.
But I hope he has a great time in Washington.
And again if you missed it on Friday, Eddie says
(16:31):
he will meet and greet listeners and hang out with listeners.
So if you're in d C or within driving distance
you want to hang out with Eddie, he might be
able to make that happen, as long as you're not
a crazy person, valls. Fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee says,
what was the first concert you went to and did
you take a date and did you score for both
of you? Well, I didn't go to any concerts when
I was when I was younger. The first concert I
(16:52):
ever went to. It was Wayne Go Tango, which is
a Kiss FM concert in Anaheim at Anaheim Stadium, and
I was working security for the radio station that they
had all hands on deck. They had a sign up
sheet and I signed up and they had me because
I was fat and a big guy. They had me
in security, and that was back when Hoodie and the
(17:14):
Blowfish were among the headliners of that event. So I've
only been to a few other concerts with my my wife,
But when I was dating back in the day, I
never never really did that. What about you? I think
the only concert I've been to you was a Cypress
Hill concert. I did it down in San Diego at
(17:35):
Fourth and B and um Man. I watched in that place,
Ben it looked like just fog had escaped the harbor
area and just went inside. It was just everyone was
either smoking or getting secondary highs. It was phenomenal. And
uh yeah, I was a rady group. Hell of a time.
But that was the only time I've been to a
concert I was. The talent was the talent first rate,
(17:57):
and a lot of first round picks, lottery picks. There's
a lot of body art. Ah, Yes, hyper still sure
Sure Pierre in Springfield, mass home of the Pro Basketball
Hall of Fame better known as alf the Alien o Piner.
On the show, he says, how does it feel to
get stabbed in the back once again? I have not
been this match since oh nine, fs R has chosen
(18:19):
to nominate Dan Patrick over you for the Marconi I'm
guessing that the Danets put him over the top. Yeah,
I don't. I don't know think about that. I do know, Alf,
there's a lot of politics involved, and I am not
in the group of the cool kids. So the Marconi policy,
(18:41):
I don't know anything about that. To be honestly, I
worked at w e I briefly remotely, and they won
the Marconi Award or eighteen when I was there, so
I consider myself a Marconi Award winning broadcaster. And Alf
also says any truth to the rumor that Sports Talk
Berry is moonlighting as an online high school football team
(19:02):
general manager? Yes, in Ohio? Why not for sports Talk Berry.
Alf also says, I know I've suggested this in the past,
but I think w e I alumnus Mikey Adams would
be a great guest. He's full of tremendous old radio
and TV. Yeah, yeah, I am all about it. I
love Mikey Adams, very nice guy, have some great stories. Uh,
(19:25):
And we'll have to get Mikey Adams on on the show.
There's also some other big names that we have considered
considered getting on, so well, we'll see I got a
new number. I think I told you about that the
other day, A new number from a a football legend
who might be joining us on the podcast. Might being
a weasel word because I still haven't scheduled it yet,
(19:46):
So we'll see what happens with that, Ricardo. If you
need another telephone number to use too, you can always
sign up for Google Voice and so I'll give you
access to another telephone number if you need to. Uh,
that's an option. So it's free and I don't have
to give my number out to the crazy people. Do
you have to do that? Yeah? All right, Uh so
(20:09):
that's a good idea. Actually, what else do we have here?
Ricardo from Fresno says, hey, man, what's that Russian website?
You don't use to stream games? Uh? Yeah, I don't.
I don't. My memories hazy right now, Ricardo, I don't.
I don't. I don't remember, I don't know. You know,
I don't speak Russian? Do you speak Russian? Guest gun negative,
(20:29):
I don't. I don't use any kind of Russian websites
to watch the NFL, or boxing or USC or No.
Surely not pay per view of mens. You should not
do that for paper and illegal. You should not do that. Uh.
Lord Goofa has announced that he wants to set up
a DraftKings Mallard Militia league. It would be a free
(20:50):
contest or we could have a paid contest. I think
that's a great idea. Lord Goufa, send me some details
and I will I will toss it out there. We
should actually get DraftKings to set up a special league
for us. But if you want to do it and
do the busy body work, good luck on that. Let
me know. John and St. Paul Minnesota, says Ben who
wears the headband best? John McEnroe, Johnny Lawrence or Baker Mayfield.
(21:18):
So out of that, I'm gonna go with John McEnroe
out of that group, because he's old school my memories.
If I closed my eyes and I think of John McEnroe,
I think of him at Wimbledon with the headband. I
think of him at a big major tournament with the headband.
So that's the one that pops in my head. Baker
(21:38):
Mayfield currently is is near the top, but there's there's
also a lot of like old NBA players that used
to wear the headband, now not so much. I don't
think there's too many guys wearing the headman's Baker is
obviously in football, but I'm trying to think of basketball. Well,
Lebron has done a little bit, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(22:00):
all right, Uh, Carmela does a lot. I'm marking Ottawa,
he says. I don't have a question. I just have
a picture of some delicious poutine I had mark of course,
the great cultural dish poutine. He says. It's it's not
pronounced poutine, but rather poutine's in or something like that.
(22:23):
P O O T S I N N. Because it's
French Quebec. Mhm uh nana Uh, it is pronounced poutine.
I have had many poutine dishes. I love poutine. It's
one of my go to places. I told you remember Guestcon,
there's a place in Anaheim that I go to that
has poutine that I love around here and I'm I'm
(22:47):
all about it. But it's poutine. If I go to
the restaurant, say hey, what do you got poutine? That's
what they got. It's not I'm not if I was
in Quebec, if was in Montreal or something like that,
then I guess I would have to call it whatever
that is. Um My, my wife. Actually she's she's a
nine one one operator. She had to call She told
(23:10):
me she had to call the police in Montreal over something.
There was something I don't know. I don't know anything
about it, nor should I know some of my business.
But she had to call the police of Montreal and
she calls them up and they were speaking obviously in French.
They weren't speaking English. So it became, uh communication issue,
right because my wife does not speak the native tongue.
(23:30):
So not surprising, but mildly interesting. Blind Scott from the
North End of Boston says, about once a year, I
smashed the dryer doors, shutting it and then it causes
me five hundred dollars to fix. Uh what just happened
the mechanism that latches onto the door smashed the pieces
(23:52):
because it won't shut tightly. Blind Scott says, I think
cited people might even have this problem. The type of
dryer I had, I he says, it's worth four thousand dollars.
So that blind Scott, that's more about your anger issues,
as you have referred to like as you have referred
to blind Scott, there's a lot of rage occasionally that
(24:16):
that comes up. It's like lava bubbling up to the surface.
And so more about you. But I've never I've never
slammed the dryer door so much that I've broken it.
I don't like doing laundry, but I've never done that.
So have you ever broken a dryer? No? I did
it with a knife the other day, though. I did
(24:39):
with a sharp steak knife, and it was what did
you do with that? I'm confused. It was not peeling
good enough on this sweet potato that I was carving up,
and I was like piste and I threw it that
snapped and broken in half. You threw the knife for
you through the night. Through the knife. Yeah, throwing to
(25:02):
sweep potato. I would think that would do the less
damage the sweet potato, not a step knife was probably
as long as you're index or middle finger. Well, you
have some angry issues over there. Let me let me
tell you you got anger going at a at an
event for a second, give me that moment. Yeah everything good? Now? Yeah,
(25:26):
what do you do it? You're like looking for something
on your phone? I know you are. You were just
I'm not looking for anything and poking around looking and looking. Yeah,
that's it. Come down right when you when you talk,
this is what the listeners here. Yeah, I used to
(25:47):
get that back of the day sleeping crickets, boy Scouts
I was. I was a Cub Scout more than a
boy Scout. I was in the Cub Scouts for several years,
and then I did bree flee joined the boy Scouts.
But I was more about the Cup Scouts, and I
went on camping trips and all that did. The whole
thing got my badges, and yeah, I was excited when
(26:09):
I got to use the pocket knife. It felt like
I was growing up. Adrian in the Milehi City Rights
City says, how long have you been using garlic as
medication when you feel like you may be getting sick?
I'll have to give that a try next time I
get sick. But you should not, Adrian, you should not
do that in lieu of actual medication. But I've been
doing it for many many years. I don't know exactly
(26:31):
how many how many years everything runs together, but an
old DJ had told me that if you have laryngitis,
this will work, and then I it did work, and
then I had learned that it also helps if you're
if you've got like the flu, or the cold. It
will help because the garlic will. It's nature's Uh, what's
(26:51):
the word I'm looking for here? Um, powerful medicine, powerful
medicine by prescription? What am I thinking of your guest? On?
What am I thinking up here? The word? Uh, it's
definitely not prophylactic remedy. No, it's a remedy. But you
know how you can get prescription, Like the doctors will
(27:12):
give you stuff. You're not supposed to take too much
of it. Because you take too much of it, it's
bad for you when you're sick. Now. But there's a
certain word which I'm for some reason not not remembering,
but anyway, Uh, it's it is very powerful garlic. And
the good thing is, as an added bonus, no one
want to be around you when you when you suck
on garlic or eat garlic, because they will they will
(27:32):
run to the hills. So it has it has a
couple of good qualities to it, he says. Also Adrian
in the Mile High City, have either of you been
to b J's Restaurant and brew House, a national chain.
If you haven't, you need to go. I have been there,
he says. Try the puzuki dessert. My family and I
were there this past weekend and the meal and the
desserts were delicious. The puzuki is a warm brownie slash
(27:55):
cookie served with ice cream on top. Uh. Yeah it is.
It is wonderful. Uh. And he says, you can't go
wrong with the Gary Deli chocolate one. I do love
the Gary Deli chocolate. And I had not had the
pezuki until I got in the relationship with my wife.
We were dating and we went to b J's brew
House and she said, Hey, we gotta get the pezuoki.
(28:16):
I'm all about that, and it's a fine dessert. Have
you had the pezuki? He said? I think it's an
Italian dessert. I think never never had it. Um inn
a BJ's but never had the pezuki there? Um? Well,
was that painful for you to go on a date? Uh?
You know obviously the engage in conversation with your wife
(28:37):
as opposed to just go to yes. I hate I
hate conversation. I I don't don't like it. Pay in
the ass. Uh. And again Adrian's desperate for us to
get a Bronco guy on. He says, Dave Logan, Alfred Williams,
how about Rick Lewis the Bronco Radio color commentator. Maybe
caj Hamdler. How about that? Get John Elway on. I
(28:59):
want to go and go big Gett. No, that's your hero,
isn't it. I beg you. We can get him on
the podcast if we schedule. We have to go through
a bunch of pr hacks, but we can get them on. Yeah,
Patrick Smith, is he gonna email us like some of
these other people? Well, what are some of the guests
you've had on? Have you had big enough game guests on?
(29:19):
I mean that coming? Yeah? Yeah, that's what you gotta do.
Neil from the Real Miami right So, and he says,
you mentioned the Luke Long the YouTube documentary. I liked
big dude like you so interesting the perspective for a
five nine dude like me. Neil writes very personal on
(29:40):
all his struggles and such. I have actually spent some
time in Fermintil, Australia. I'm probably butchering that where he
is from lovely little Beach Island in Western Australia, which
is like going to mars on how far it is
so I understand why he may have been left out
of the documentary. That's probab. The main reason please feed
(30:02):
me another documentary recommendation. I don't have any right now.
I have not had an opportunity to catch up on
my documentary, but as soon as I do, Neil, Once
I get TV back, I usually watch in my bed
before I go to bed. On Friday and Saturday, I
watch the documentary. But I've been able to do that.
We have no TV. I could watch on my phone,
but it's not the same. Uh. And he says, And
since you and Gascon are getting famous, who would be
(30:24):
a good actor to portray you? Since Gascon will be
playing the role of himself. Um, yeah, I don't know who? Who?
Who would be me? I I always go with a
fat actor because I'm fat, So I would go with
Jeff Garland from Curb Your Enthusiasm, John Goodman. He's old, though,
(30:48):
so you Yeah, No, I'm not. I'm not Neil right, sinces.
I gave up Facebook like Gascon and many other proud Americans,
so all email corresponses, I mean I'm a bad reckon
because I'm still on Facebook for show reasons? Am I
bad American? I don't know? I mean, do you use
it that much? Or no? No, I don't, I don't
(31:08):
I use it for the show and occasionally just to
make sure some of my relatives are still alive. I
will go on there, but I haven't talked all of you. No,
I don't call people. I don't call people, but I'll
check in and like, I have a lot of cousins
that have kids, and I can kind of like see
them grow up via Facebook without actually having to spend
time with them, you know, because they live far away
(31:29):
and so I can't see him and all that stuff.
But one of my cousins moved close. I love seeing
her kids and we have a great time, wonderful. I'm like,
I'm a cousin. But they called me like Uncle Benny
kind of because I'm like, I'm like an uncle. I'm
like an extra uncle. Hey, you're like Uncle Buck. Wow.
What John Candy was awesome? What are you talking about?
That was? That was a good movie. Yeah, John Candy
(31:51):
got rested. Sluff Man kings games all the time. Every
when Candy passed away. But he was he was a
staple at the Forum and he was Ruce mcnal. Didn't
they buy the Toronto Argonauts together? Wasn't that exactly right?
They signed the guy from Notre Dame the wide receiver.
(32:11):
Rocket is smile. Didn't they bring him to the aunt
Argonauts And that was a big, a big deal, Barry
in Music City, Y we got a couple more yo
yo ma Ben. Exciting time with the new NFL season
about to start. I used to be a Detroit Lion fan,
he writes Barry, but I gave up watching them over
ten years ago for obvious reasons. It occurred to me
(32:33):
that the Lions have been owned by the Ford family
for over fifty eight years, with only one playoff win
during this time. Is it possible that the Ford family
is the worst owner of any professional sports franchise ever?
Uh So, not to go off half cock to your berry,
but this is always one of those things where when
(32:54):
you blame ownership that that's to me, that drives me nuts.
And unless you're the timate meddling owner, I don't think
the Ford family medals. And as far as ownership, that
is one of the great investments of all time. In
the nineteen sixties they paid less than five million. Henry
Ford's grandson paid less than five million for the Lions.
It's been in the family ever since the nineteen sixties.
(33:14):
They're worth over two billion dollars, probably three billion by
the time they sell the team, if they ever do so.
It's great investment. But the only thing I always use
I used Dolan, now I you have used some different analogies,
but I used Dolan. James Dolan has been consistently called,
if not the worst, he's in the top five worst
owners in sports. The Knicks have been terrible for years.
(33:38):
They changed general managers and then they were a playoff team.
Now the Knicks are considered to be a competitive team,
a team that is a factor, not a great team,
but a factor, and they still have James Dolan as
the owner. It's hiring. The problem is bad owners hire
people that don't know what they're doing. And that's the issue.
Right you hire a good general manager, you could be
(33:59):
the most incompetent owner, Like I look at Elgin Baylor
was the Clipper g M A he rest in peace,
Elgin legend of the game, horrible GM. But Donald Sterling
allowed him to pick year after year a top five
player in the lottery, and year after year he picked
the wrong guy. And is that Donald Sterling's fault when
he owned the Clippers, or is that Elgin Baylor's fault
(34:21):
for not picking the right player, unless you're gonna tell me.
Maybe I don't know what happened behind the scenes that
that Sterling was the guy that was meddling. I don't
think he was. He just wanted to go to those
cocktail parties and hang out with other celebrities, is what
he wanted to do back in the day. So last one,
Blake in Arkansas says, guys talking about traveling last week
(34:42):
and going to the SEC game of the week before
Let's go Texas plays at Arkansas September eleven. At that point,
both teams fan bases will still have hope of a
decent season. We're not wrong, but he said, I'm sure
Hog fans will want to give the short Horns a
welcome to the SEC good time. What Blake is feeling
(35:05):
his oats on Arkansas football tickets, barbecue and all that
on me. Google the Hog call and tell me you're
not ready? Horns down, Go Hogs, say yo, have you
been to an SEC game before? No? I know they
(35:26):
The best environment for college football I've been to was
in Norman, Oklahoma, and that's it. I've not been to
too many exotic college football locations. I've been obviously in
l A with the Rose Bowl, which is an all
time the grand daddy of them all. The Rose Bowl.
Have been to that and Colosseum, which is a mausoleum,
although they renovated it. Uh yeah, So now what about you.
(35:49):
You you've traveled around, You've done a bunch of that stuff,
haven't you know? I've only been an NFL I mean
outside of you know, USC, New c l A. I
haven't been anywhere else for for a college college affair. Unfortunately.
I'd love to go to the Red River Shootout Texas
and Oklahoma. I'd love to go down to SEC. I mean,
I want to go to the Iron Bowl obviously with
Alabama and Auburn Um Death Valley would be fun with
(36:11):
l s u um a night game. I mean, my
favorite venues so far has been for baseball. It's either
San Diego or San Francisco and then Kansas City for
the NFL. It just I don't know, man, It's it's awesome.
I love her. Ohad. Yeah. The ballpark, the Giants ballpark's
(36:32):
great in San Francisco. They nailed that one. Padres pretty good.
Pittsburgh's awesome, and you gotta get to Pittsburgh. That is unreal, man.
That looks like it looks fake. When you're sitting in
the ballpark the yellow bridge out there in the skyline,
It's like, no, this isn't real. This is like a
movie set. This is not real, and it is. Finnway
is cool, but not the seats sucked most of the
(36:54):
I gotta sit out on the Green Monster because those
are the newer seats and that's more accommodating for the
larger person. But Finway, I have not been to rigging
fields since he got renovated. I was there in Tropicana.
I've never been there. Yeah, I've never been to Tropicana, dude.
Tropicana is like a retirement home. Like you park on
(37:16):
dead faded grass and you have people that are just
sitting in these fold out chairs, these like picnic chairs,
taking your money or for parking stuffs. It's so old school, man,
that's nice. It's kind of like that. In Buffalo. I
was at a Bills game one time, and I to
one Bills game Bills Titans game, and it did have
you parked on like a like a dirt field, and
(37:38):
there were porta potties out there and and all that
so anyway, all right, that'll do it. We'll be back.
I will have live shows all week, no days off,
no days off, holiday weekend, but we'll be there hanging out,
yapping away leading in to Benny Versus the Penny in
the NFL weekend. We're still working out the logistics, right,
(38:00):
We're still working out the logistics on that. Yeah, alright,
So we'll have some more information on social media during
the week. Have a great rest of your Sunday and
we'll catch you then.
Host
Ben Maller
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