October 30, 2021 • 37 mins
Some awkward pivoting brings about a few random topics.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ka boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now, nine nine in the air, everywhere,
eight days a week, because a four hours a night
clearly not enough, and you have stumbled on blindly. The
Fifth Hour podcast a spinoff of the weekend weekday show.
(00:44):
Here on the weekends, even on a Saturday, college football Saturday.
In a rare and appropriate Saturday appearance by Mr West
of the four oh five, I can't say that a
month or two from now, but I can say it now.
David Guest in the house, he hey, why why this week?
(01:11):
You have not been with us on Saturday and sometime,
Guest Gun, you have a skewed the Saturday podcast. But
here you are here, you are pushing your way back
into the podcast studio. Here I am to save the
day right here that the busy time man. I got
like seven jobs and I just I think that a
(01:32):
round of applause is in order. I just finished my taxes, um,
so I think that you know you are paying your taxes,
and you make enough money to paying my taxes. But
I'm getting something back, which is always nice, getting some
money to return to me a little while to do
my taxes and then get some nines and W two
(01:53):
is back from respective employers. But do you do that?
You actually do the taxes yourself. You don't hire an outs.
I'd accountant to your taxes. You are the one who
is crunching the numbers. Is that accurate? Uh? What's a combination?
I I do a lot of the crunching of the numbers.
And the reason why is because of all the all
the income that comes from non W two providers. So
(02:17):
a lot of these outlets they attending and hang me,
you can write off a lot of things, or at
least some things. And so I gotta go through checklists
and I'm azations and you're used to in the old days,
Oh my god, it was wonderful when I traveled with
the Dodgers. I would go on the road, I go
into a cab and the cab driver would hand me
(02:39):
a stack of receipts. Now, I'm not saying that I
took advantage of this, but I do know some sports
writers that did take advantage of it on the road
and would just fill out endless taxi receipts and uh
it was, it was wonderful. Uh. Now you do, you travel,
You get paid to travel much. You do a lot
of stuff locally. Guess gun right, because I don't want
(03:00):
I don't want you to be like an NBA official
from back in the day or an umpire on the
plane tickets. You gotta be careful on that. No, no,
I uh yeah, I mean it's all local here. But
I do have an app. I do have a couple
of apps that I use for for logging my mileage.
I don't know if you use any of those at all,
but I use one called the mile i Q and
(03:23):
that's obviously for driving to and from a location. For
it itemizes it too, so you can say like, hey,
this is like for the gym, this is for personal
use like the grocery store, or it's for work. So
I I basically lay out all the places that I
work at and then um and then it logs in accordingly.
So it's pretty nice. Yeah, So what I do is
I used to do that, but now I use I
(03:44):
have a thing that counts my steps. So I go
out of my bedroom, I turned left. I then go
down a hallway without a without a rail, It's like Mr.
Toad's Wild Ride, and then make a right. I go
down the hall. Then I'm gont a fork in the road.
I get to the fork in the road, fork in
the hall, and then turned right and then I'm in
the broadcast studio. So I count the steps. It's roughly
(04:06):
on a on a bad day, if I take really
small steps, I could get up to like forty five steps.
So just going to my office there. So at the
end of the year, I do a cross benefit analysis
there on that, but I use an accountant. And the
reason that we do the Mallard family here is because
I am terrible at at math. And my parents when
(04:30):
I was in high school, they had the knock on
the door. You know what that means, gascon the knock
on the door. They got audited. Yeah, the I R
S knocked on the door and they the math. I'm
told on getting audited. It's even you know, it's worse
now than it was then. That they don't audit very
(04:51):
many people. But I I'm so paranoid about that. And
I remember my parents having to go through and they
kept files on everything. It was all over the house.
May they rest in peace, but they had to track
down all of those files and it was such a
pain in the ascid. It was such a stressful situation
for my parents. Like, at least with an account And
I'm not saying I can't get it audited with an accountant,
(05:11):
but when you have an account and say, okay, I'm
paying you figure it out right. You know, you know
I'm paying the money. You're the one that did the taxes.
It's it's on you, and so it's it gives me
a little peace of mind at night. It gives me.
And I also when they changed the tax code a
few years back and we ended up owing money because
(05:35):
we had the accountant, I guess it not we had
not done that properly, given the right paperwork to the accountant,
and so we had to write a check to the
to the government, and that was It was terrible. But
I have been told over the years that you're actually
better off having to either either have it even or
(05:57):
have to write a small check to the government that
you keep the money and money in hand is better. Uh.
Now that might have been bullshit, but I was told
by somebody that I believe knows this stuff, that you're
better off doing it that way. But I always feel better.
I feel like I've won something, even though the people
that do the math will tell you that you have
not won anything. When you actually get a check back
(06:20):
from from the government that that you think you've done well,
it's like a mind mind trick, like thinking you've done
well when when realistically it's the government that had your
money and is then paying the money back that you
overpaid for taxes. Yeah, with no uh no interest added
to it. I don't feel like it's a win anywhere,
(06:41):
especially nowadays with the money that is being taken and
used for taxes. It's it's awful, it is. But just think, yes,
your money is helping to give people free money that
don't have to do anything, so that's a good thing.
But you get your you are like Robin Hood. You're
stealing from yourself to give to other people. It's a
(07:04):
it's a wonderful thing. What a world we live in here.
Check and I again, I was raised I blame the
people that raised me that I was raised to work
hard and you get paid when you work hard, and
I did. If only my mom had taught me when
I was a little boy, Ben grow up and you know,
(07:27):
if you don't really work hard and you don't have
a job, and you don't try to get a job,
I'll just give you a thousand bucks a month. What
the hell? Why not? Maybe great, wonderful Los Angeles County. Yeah,
I mean it's uh, who's your sugar daddy? L A County? Baby?
Is it? L A County? Is a l A City?
Which one? Is it? I forget it's it's I don't
(07:49):
I don't know. It's probably l A City because l
A County is a much larger, much larger operation, I
would think. But that's the West coast man, that's California. Yeah,
so I love friends in the West, want California to
go out in the Pacific. But you know, I think
it's l A City, l A city giving giving a
thousand dollars a month to two thousand households for an
(08:10):
entire year, no questions asked. It's just as absolutely amazing.
But you know, question, I'm not allowed to ask any questions,
I work like a meal woman. I'll do is talk radio.
Can you mean a few of these people that that
have real jobs? I have a crap, you know, an
easy job. But imagine the people that ust their ass,
you know, and they're not making a ton of money.
(08:30):
Although you can make pretty good money if you're a
handyman or a you know, working depending on what you
do in a factory. There are jobs that pay pretty well.
But then you see the person over there is just
like eating ding dings all day in the cashing in
their checks. What's up with that? No motivation at all?
That's unbelievable. But I mean that that that is an
extension that's actually like a form of bribery in a sense, right,
(08:54):
like we'll pay you you just vote for us next
election term. Well, it's to me, it's not even it's
just it's you're encouraging bad behavior and you just what
are you doing? You know, a dollar there's an old
idiom and I'm gonna probably butcher it here, but it's
(09:15):
something about a dollar earned and the value of that, right,
the value of but that everything with inflation now is insane,
it's insane, and there's no there's no end in sight.
And in my experience, once the prices go up, they
never go back down. It's not the reasons the prices
(09:36):
and say, okay, we're gonna lower the prices. And if
they do lower the prices, I've noticed this. One of
my favorite restaurants I go to not far from the
north Woods here, uh is this chicken fingerplace. And what
they did is they lowered the prices, but they gave
you smaller portions, so they it's a again a mind
(09:56):
mind mind hack where you think you're getting a good deal,
but in reality, what they've done is they've given themselves
more of a profit because they're giving you a smaller
amount of fries or whatever or you know, some side dish,
and they're charging you a little less, but it's a
(10:17):
lot less than they were charging a lot more than
the product's worth. And um so you know it's it's insane,
but there you go. So that is where we're at
the United States is the um you know, leadership role.
And where we're at now we have taking center stage
by now issuing US passports with gender X on it. Now.
(10:43):
Um so now we can you know, break up to
the men your X. What is that gender X. What
is that it's like for non binary, non identifying individuals?
Got you? All? Right? So now there are I don't
really travel much, guest, and you've been all over the world.
I'm not. I've been Oceana, I've been to Hawaii. I've
(11:08):
I've been to Canada briefly. Uh, you know, I don't.
I don't actually never been to Mexico. I've been, I've been.
I've been to the border many times. I've not been
to Mexico. Um, explain, explain this to me, Like I'm
five years old here. So if if you have on
your US passport gender X and you go to a
(11:29):
country that believes in the birds and the bees and
the innies and the outies, Um, what happens? Like? How
does that work? What are they just blindly supposed to
honor that and no questions asked? Or I think you
would see what we got here? I think they would
just laugh. Okay, I'm curious. I'm sure that's I don't know.
(11:54):
I don't know the rest of the world. There are
some grown ups in the rest of the world that realize, hey,
there's men and women and you can, you know, do
what you want with that but come on, is the
is the Party of Science really the party of science?
Or is it just a party of selective science? Because
that's what it sounds like. Science is always selective. Well,
now science is whatever fits your agenda and it works
(12:17):
both ways. Right, that works both ways? That you now
in politics, you just find a scientist. It's kind of
like doctor shopping. Wait, hold on, you don't find the scientists.
You find the lobbyists. You know, but it's like, you know,
if you keep going to enough doctors till you get
the opinion you want or I guess technically doctor shopping
(12:40):
is just going to get pills, like right, But no,
I mean people do the same thing. You get diagnosed
with something, you're like, I don't think that's right, or
I don't want to have the treatment, and then you're
supposed to get a second opinion, and then you get
a third opinion. You go two out of three, and
then you're like, all right, well two out of three
is not good. That's that's try. Why don't we do
three out of five and then we'll do, you know,
(13:02):
four out of seven, then we'll go five out of nine.
If only in the early days when they designed the
infrastructure of American sport. I think was the New York Giants,
remember reading about this years ago. The guy that owned
the New York Giants came up with the seven game
best of seven format for the World Series and whatnot,
(13:23):
which is the gold standard now for championship rounds in
team sports other than obviously football. But if what if
they said let's do five out of nine. I think
some of the early playoffs series we're five out of nine.
It wasn't always four out of seven. H But but
I'm getting carried away here. But the point is you
can in science. It is. It used to be a
(13:46):
case of, well, here's the science. But science is always evolving.
And that's that's one of the weird things about the
people that weaponized science. We talked a lot about how random,
you know, it's they call it in exact act science
is what they call it for a reason. It's imprecise,
it's inaccurate, uh, and it's it's always evolving, even things
(14:08):
that have been confirmed seemingly there are exceptions to the rule.
That's a that's a whole different cannel worms, whole different
channel worms. But it's good though, I mean, well, I
have I have no problems with the challenge. I think
everything should be challenged and questioned. But everything Now if
(14:29):
you do do that, then you are labeled, and then
you are condemned, which is just amazing. But I mean
this is a definition by by definition, though, guests, science
consists of people who are in disagreement with each other.
That is, is that not the but but but good disagreement? Yes,
I mean now you have I mean not now, but
(14:50):
you've had this in years past and decades and generations passed,
like you know, the progressives of cal and u c
l a God forbids someone that's eve they're down the
middle of the road or right wing if they if
they if they want to talk on campus, they get condemned.
Student bodies will will be up in you know, arms
and whatnot. You see irvines now, the same with a
(15:13):
couple of doctors there. It's pretty wild how this is
more polarizing now than ever. But this is obviously here
from the the the genesis of social media to we're
at now. But I mean, this has happened in previous days,
but of course just more highlighted now because of where
we're at politically and and we're social media and television
(15:34):
platforms are out nowadays all about the ratings. Man. Yeah, yeah,
and they've determined the people that keep track of this
on human nature and what people respond to. And it's
like I remember when I was early on in my
career and people said, you're too negative, be more positive,
and they should give me the list of positive talk
(15:55):
radio show hosts that have done well. Uh, and the
list is year Oh, it does not exist. Uh. And
it's the whole follow the science thing which we've had
shoved down our throats here over the last year and
a half, two years, whatever it's been. Now, follow the science,
listen to the experts and all that. And then you
(16:16):
you take a couple of steps back and you're like, well,
who are the experts? It's subjective, right, you do what
they tell you, but it's subjective. And that old line
is accurate. I heard somewhere along the way ten out
of ten scientists degree with whoever funded them so and
I got turned off. As you know, I love studies,
(16:37):
academic studies, and I read a lot of these things
and research done by some school in Australia, and we
we do a bit we haven't done in a while.
On the Saturday podcast we get scientifical and we'll go
over some of the studies, and I don't do it
as much and I'm not into them as much because
you know, generally the it's it's one of those things
(16:58):
like a screenplay, right, or where there's a couple of
ways to write a story from a movie. You can
write a movie and then work your way through this
story and then get to the ending and then come
up with the ending, or you can write the ending
and then write the story. And a lot of the
science world now is you have the ending, and here's
how we're gonna get there. And you know, we're not
(17:19):
gonna get bogged down with whatever the science teach, you
know it leads us to we're gonna find a way
to twist it into what we know the people the
overlords want us to throw out, which is which is
annoying and all that. But but there you go, How
do we end up here? Guesco? How do we end
up in that situation? I don't wait, how do we
(17:39):
bring up this as a topic of conversation or how
do we as a society end up here? We started
talking about as sports and now we've ended up doing
a deep dive. I don't know. We haven't had many
people complain recently about staying on script, like stay in
your sports lanes. So I just feel like so I
(18:01):
feel like me being back here on a Saturday, I
must kind of ruffle the feathers a little bit and
mail to you, listen to you since I was ten
years old. But you said something I don't like. You know,
I can't lispinion. I no longer enjoy it's a it's
(18:24):
it's an opinion based show. I get paid to give opinions.
I didn't get your talking points memo on what I
could say and not and uh, it's always fast. Well,
it's like that article that was published a few days
ago at the middle of the week was Sports Illustrated
basically condemning journalists that we're asking Mike Tomlin about his
(18:45):
desire want to go it's all race, yes, yes, the
extreme liberal members of the media. Anything involving uh, you know,
Mike Tomlin. Yeah, God for bid. We point out that
Carson Palmer, who's on one of the committees at USC
to come up with a coach, is the one that
(19:06):
tossed Tomlin's name out. Seems like a pretty credible source
that he just randomly tossed Mike Toma's name out. But
God forbid. Tomlin's above even being asked the question. He
pisces out gold, you know, liquid gold and ships gold bricks.
Mike Tomlin like, yeah, come on, uh, it's it's insane,
it's a legitimate question to ask. And now I I
(19:29):
did a monologue prior to Tomlin coming out with his rant,
which was wonderful. It's a great ramp by Mike Tomlin,
and pointed out, how why would you leave the one
job where you know you're not gonna be fired? Pete
Carroll could be fired in Seattle and have to go
back to USC with his tail between his legs. I
throughout the name Cliff Kingsbury. Right now, that's not looking
(19:51):
very good because the Cardinals are playing above their means.
They're not that good. We'll come back to Earth, will
have a regression to the mean. But until that happen,
bins Cliff Kingsbury. He's not gonna leave Arizona. But that's
a guy that USC had in the pipe in the
pipe a pipeline rather to replace Clay Healton. A couple
of years ago, he was there for like a week
(20:12):
and then he went to the NFL. So is it
wrong to ask him as the coach? It's not like
the Steelers as as great as they've been in the
regular season and no losing records and they've finished you know,
I think five hundred once or something like that. That's
Tomlin's resume. It's not like it's been a great playoff team.
They've been a pretty easy out playoffs. They rolled over
(20:33):
and played dead against the Browns in the last Let's
let's calm down on that. What have you done for
me lately? And you are ultimately judged on the playoffs? Right?
I don't understand It's not you know what it is though,
is it's not like someone from the MAC no disrespect,
but it's not like someone from Bowling Green. It's not
like a reporter said, hey, would you be interested in
the Bowling Green position? Like hey, would you be interested
(20:55):
in becoming a Toledo Rocket like they said USC If
someone said, hey, would you be interested in the Alabama job?
If Nick Saban retired? Would that be an insult um? Well,
it depends on how well. I didn't think anything Tomins
said was racist. He happened to name two or you're
playing the race card. But he named two coaches who
are white. So that's like, that's like the bat signal
(21:18):
to the to the liberals in the media, like wit
about it. He two coaches who happened to be white guys.
So let me write my column. And it's it's so
funny to those type of columns. And we've all done
it being in uh the radio business, but it's the
way you get to that column. It's like so and
(21:39):
so didn't actually say this, but you know, you know
you didn't have to. It's like, come on, yeah, it's whack.
But I mean, there's plenty of coaches out there that
that get those offers, and and I think one would
be flattered. But I don't know. I asked Chris Broussard
and Rob Parker this during the middle of the week.
(22:00):
If you were in the position, or you can go
to a usc A, Clemson, Obama, you know, I don't know, Florida,
maybe Florida state where you run the entire show, like
you run the university and you never have to worry
about someone talking over you. Why wouldn't you do that?
Whereas if you're a head coach in the NFL. Not
(22:21):
to say Tomlin, but if you're a head coach in
the NFL, you're running the risk of a dude that's
making double the salary that you are as a player,
and he could just tell you to go shove it,
and you have nothing. You can't say anything about it
because ultimately you depend on him and he's the one
getting paid to do the work that you were trying
to execute. Yeah. Yeah, here's the problem, though, there's so
(22:45):
much bullshit you have to put up with at the
college level. You don't have to put up with the
n what of it. You have a segment annually every
summer that is catered towards bullshit. The NFL book hum
is the height of the height of play. But spoiler alert,
you still have that in college. In fact, there are
(23:05):
more college football players. We don't talk about it, but
they head. You're a meathead college guy and you're out
there and there's all these beautiful people around you, and
there's drugs and booze, and you're experimenting for the maybe
the first time in your life. You're in a different place,
and you get in all kinds of trouble and then
you gotta deal with the parents and say, well, I
(23:28):
allowed my my child to go play for you, and
now he's he's doing crack at a whorehouse. What do
you what's wrong with you? Right, dude? Not everyone goes
to Louisville. All right. I'm just saying, like, if you're
if you had a choice between an NFL job and
a college job, even a good college job, I would
rather have an NFL job. As a former coach told
(23:48):
me years ago, the difference between college and the NFL
is In college, you have to go out and chase
down the players. In the NFL, the players come to you.
Now you only get to get a few of them,
but they have the combine in in college football. Listen,
you do a lot of these high school games. How
often do you see scouts or assistant coaches or even
(24:09):
head coaches from major college programs. If you're doing some
hotshot quarterback who are sitting there and you know, just
just so they can be seen in the crowd and
so the family and everyone can know that they're there
to see player X, and it's you gotta do that.
That's the kind of stuff you have to do in
the NFL. Just show up to the combine and a
couple of pro days and you're pretty much there, just
(24:30):
as you know, a side show, because it's the scouting
department that does most of the heavy living on on
those things. No, that's true, I will I think with
today's environment with the NFL, I would agree. I think
I think working in Jacksonville is a good job. And
it comes down to ownership, right I That is mostly
(24:53):
bullcrap like because there are very few meddling owners that
actually mess up the day to day operations in the
fell like okay, say, are people who they think are
good who are bad. So really the problem is they
hire people who suck. But it's not like you can
you can win in any environment that I heard that
about the Knicks with James Dolan and all that for you, Well,
(25:15):
James Dolan still owns the Knicks, and now the Knicks
are they're a mid level contender in the Eastern Conference.
I heard the same thing about Donald Sterling for all
of you. Well, Donald was loyal to Elgin Baylor, and
Elgin as great a player as he was, he had
all these lottery picks and all that and was unable
to even the l a market. Yeah, is that love?
(25:36):
The NBA. It's Miami l A. And that's about it.
You know, maybe places in Texas guys want to play
right now, Yeah, but what about I mean, look at Dallas.
Though Dallas is a perfect example. They they basically punted
on Jimmy Johnson. I want a Super Bowl with Barry Schwitzer.
But I mean that was a well oiled machine. And
(25:57):
that's a difference. That that's different because Jerry Jones is
that m there. That's but it's not like Donald Sterling
was the GM. Now. The problem he had was he
would he would decide who the coach was often and
he would meet with Elgin, would recommend to people and
then uh Sterling would seemingly pick the worst candidate every
(26:18):
time in those in those years. But I didn't I
didn't want to move on here for se escum because
there's a story I got and I sent this to
you the other day, and I relate to this story.
Blind Scott actually directed me to the story of all people.
This is a blind leading the blind. He didn't he
didn't block your anything. No, no, no. He sent me
(26:40):
like some like grant that was ted messages long and
then blocked me. Oh yeah, now he sends he hates
your politics, and so he sends a lot of email
to the Fifth Hour podcast email Real fifth Hour at
gmail dot com. And I believe the sole purpose of
those email is to annoy you, compliment that those emails are.
(27:04):
And you don't even see these emails, so I'm the
one that sees them. But one of them caught my
attention here and it's one of my favorite stories of
the week. The headline on this is meet the guy
who spends just a hundred fifty dollars a year to
eat all of his meals at six Flags. Yeah, and
this is one of us. So this is thirty three
(27:25):
year old dude. We'll call him by his name Dylan,
which is ironically the same name as Blind Scott's dog,
which makes me think this might be a fake story.
But anyway, the story it was in a magazine and
they claim that this, uh, this thirty three year old
guys electrical engineer in Santa Clarita, which is where if
(27:47):
you're not familiar with geography in California, if you go
to six Flags, that's where you are. And uh so
he pays around a hundred and fifty dollars. The story
goes uh for year round access to six Flags that
includes parking and two meals a day. And so this
(28:07):
guy claims, the story goes that he for years has
paid the one fifty dollar fee. This all started in
he was an intern at six Flags Magic Mountain in
southern California, and he noticed the deal and then put
two and two together. He's a young guy, uh and
(28:28):
trying to make his way. They're fresh out of college,
and so he laid down the money and he found
the deal and he has been since that day eating
his meals, almost all of his meals at six Flags
Magic mount carnival food. This guy's meaning, now, guess do
(28:50):
they have that deal? Can we confirm that they have
six Flags has the one meal? I gotta I gotta
look into that. How is this any How is this
any different? Though from your twenties when you were crashing
Dodgers Stadium in the Great Western This is how I
relate to the story, because I didn't even have to
(29:11):
pay a hundred and fifty dollars a year. I just
had to pay for gas. But when I was early
on in the media, back in the glory days of
being in the media, when I first started, everything was
free all the food and I covered games. My job,
my first real radio job. My first real radio job.
(29:31):
I was an engineer for San Diego State basketball, which
was a disaster and those games were on Cogo AM
in San Diego. But I didn't That didn't last long
and then I got job as a reporter for my
Nighty Nighty in San Diego, but covering the l A market.
And so they assigned me that give me my schedule
(29:52):
and be at a King's game, or a Lakers game,
or a Clippers game, or college game or during the summer,
Dodgers and Angels and mixing. You know, there was actually
no football because in those days the only football team
was the Chargers, and so I go to those games sometimes,
but no NFL football in l a H. So anyway,
I go to these games and I was like I
(30:13):
was in my twenties. I was a fat guy. Everything
was free a dot. The O'Malley's owned the Dodgers. They
had steak prime rib quite a bit. They had fish
Fridays because O'Malley very religious to get eat fish on Friday,
good Catholic, So he had that going on. And USC football.
This is when they were terrible and they had been good,
(30:35):
but they were still hanging on. This is before Pete Carroll.
They had this run of coaches and they had the
the carving stations. I remember this in the in the
press box at the Colosseum, the old Colosseum, and there
was a chef with a big you know those big
chef hats, you know, the big white they're like professional
chef and big knives, and just they'd be they'd be
(30:59):
nice roast turkey, there'd be prime rib. It was just outstanding,
just amazing. And uh so yeah, I did live that life.
Uh and I ate better food than this guy. But
that's that's a sneaky good hack. That is a sneaky
good hack for this this particular person. So I'm I'm
(31:20):
now looking here at season passes or I'm curious if
I want to see what's going on here. You know
who's really good at at providing food for the media.
Low key is the Anaheim Ducks. I've not been to
a Duck game since they had Paul Korea. Oh man,
(31:42):
we'll see the Ducks do it right though. The Ducks
will have typically some some snacks throughout the game. Kind
of give me the break that's it, like the pretzels,
the popcorn popcorn pretzel, popcorn pretzel solid waters. Of course
that had the bulls. Then they'd also have either if
it's night game, dinner, you know, lunch obviously, if it's
(32:05):
an afternoon game, they would have that. But once you
got into the third period, getting to the cookies bad.
They still have the cookies. Yeah, and then that was,
oh my god, those the not the cinnamon. What was
the the sugar cookies peanut butter, peanut butter. Oh man,
(32:30):
you I might have to go to an Anaheim Ducks game.
I don't even know who's over there. I couldn't name
one player of the team. I might have to go
out there and make an appearance, a rare and appropriate appearance,
first time in over twenty years, to go see it
du just cookies and have a snack on the on
(32:54):
the uh. This is the actual website for six Flags uh,
six Flags Great America. It says here, uh, we introduce
season dining passes. Because food at six Flags Great America
is not always inexpensive. You could easily spend twenty dollars
per person every time he was at the park. A
season dining pass makes eating at the park almost more
(33:16):
affordable than eating at home. And so here here it
is by Originally this was two hundred nine dollars, but
now they've lowered it because the year is almost over.
So it's eighty nine dollars. You buy Deluxe Dining Pass
and you get free upgrade to exclusive Premium benefits. The
better it's lunch, dinner, and a snack each visit. Free
(33:40):
Premium upgrade lets you eat at every six Flags theme park.
Free Premium upgrade includes a free season drink bottle. So yeah,
so you get to drink and you get the two
meals and a snack on this one for ninety dollars.
Now it was two hundred nine dollars. The other one
is up to like a hundred ninety dollars, but you
(34:03):
get lunch and a snack. So the guy must be
doing de luxe thing. But still two years what kind
I've not been to six Flags? What kind of food
do they just? I imagine it's the same standard standard
carnival food that you would get, which you're talking about
your what we just mentioned that, the pretzels, the nachos,
(34:27):
that kind of thing. Yeah, I don't know that's a
good question. I haven't been. I haven't been to I
haven't been to an amusement park or carnival probably in
a good fifteen twenty years. They have a wide I'm
looking here at the meal plan. If I'm looking at
the right one, this has a good selection. There's big
(34:49):
lose Italian beef. Uh. This must be a different six
Flags because but this is this, This is on the
six Flags website. It says here they have claim Jumper,
which is a chain hasn't done well recently. There's a
Moose Burger Lodge barbecue brisket sliders. I feel like we're
(35:10):
doing this thing we did a couple of weeks ago
with our friend Alfa Alieno Piner. They have big barbecue
brisket sliders, cole slaw and waffle fries. What else do
we have? Let's see macho nacho, Nice nacho nachos with steak,
two dollar upgrade chicken strip meal. Johnny Rockets is their
(35:32):
great American dog house, Mac and cheese, hot dog and fries.
Primo's Pizzeria. That's there. You can get cheese, pizza, slice
and fries, garlic knots or salad. I'm fasting right now,
so all this sounds really good. This is right in
my wheelhouse. If you like that giant Carnival turkey leg,
they have that blue ribbon, you can get that as well. Guest,
(35:55):
that's on the on the rundown. Uh, there's some decent
stuff here. I could do that. That's not that the
guy's complaining foods unhealthy. Yeah, you know it's one man's
unhealthy is another man's healthy. Yeah. Just adding more steps
into your day and um, you know, work out a
(36:16):
little bit harder. Well. The good thing about that is
that an amusement parks you get a lot of steps.
I don't. I go to Disneyland usually once a year
because my wife loves Disneyland and I can figure out
a way to get there for not that much once
a year. So I go once a year. And it's awesome. Man.
We we started like eight in the morning, and they're
(36:37):
there until our legs fall off, and you get so
many steps. And the great thing about going to an
amusement park early, No one wants to get there early.
You get on any ride you want if you get
there at the crack of non and and then you
beat the rush hour. The way to do it, all right,
I think that's enough, guest gon, Yes, and we reached
the end of the road on the Saturday podcast. All right,
(37:00):
very good. We'll have the mailbag on Sunday. How exciting
is that you're gonna be on the mailbag on Sunday Gascon?
You might, I might. Uh yeah, Well we'll talk about
this because, uh well there's lots of things to talk
about with Benny versus the Penny too. Yes, that's right,
Benny versus the Penny, which was on Friday, this of
course being on Saturday. Anyway, have a wonderful rest of
(37:23):
your Saturday. Tell a friend about the podcast. Don't forget
cameo dot com. If you want to have a personalized
Mallard monologue just for you, or just anything at all,
we're there for you. We're there to help for a
nominal fee, of course, phenomenal fee. Have a great Saturday,
what's left of it. We'll catch you next time.
Ka boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now, nine nine in the air, everywhere,
eight days a week, because a four hours a night
clearly not enough, and you have stumbled on blindly. The
Fifth Hour podcast a spinoff of the weekend weekday show.
(00:44):
Here on the weekends, even on a Saturday, college football Saturday.
In a rare and appropriate Saturday appearance by Mr West
of the four oh five, I can't say that a
month or two from now, but I can say it now.
David Guest in the house, he hey, why why this week?
(01:11):
You have not been with us on Saturday and sometime,
Guest Gun, you have a skewed the Saturday podcast. But
here you are here, you are pushing your way back
into the podcast studio. Here I am to save the
day right here that the busy time man. I got
like seven jobs and I just I think that a
(01:32):
round of applause is in order. I just finished my taxes, um,
so I think that you know you are paying your taxes,
and you make enough money to paying my taxes. But
I'm getting something back, which is always nice, getting some
money to return to me a little while to do
my taxes and then get some nines and W two
(01:53):
is back from respective employers. But do you do that?
You actually do the taxes yourself. You don't hire an outs.
I'd accountant to your taxes. You are the one who
is crunching the numbers. Is that accurate? Uh? What's a combination?
I I do a lot of the crunching of the numbers.
And the reason why is because of all the all
the income that comes from non W two providers. So
(02:17):
a lot of these outlets they attending and hang me,
you can write off a lot of things, or at
least some things. And so I gotta go through checklists
and I'm azations and you're used to in the old days,
Oh my god, it was wonderful when I traveled with
the Dodgers. I would go on the road, I go
into a cab and the cab driver would hand me
(02:39):
a stack of receipts. Now, I'm not saying that I
took advantage of this, but I do know some sports
writers that did take advantage of it on the road
and would just fill out endless taxi receipts and uh
it was, it was wonderful. Uh. Now you do, you travel,
You get paid to travel much. You do a lot
of stuff locally. Guess gun right, because I don't want
(03:00):
I don't want you to be like an NBA official
from back in the day or an umpire on the
plane tickets. You gotta be careful on that. No, no,
I uh yeah, I mean it's all local here. But
I do have an app. I do have a couple
of apps that I use for for logging my mileage.
I don't know if you use any of those at all,
but I use one called the mile i Q and
(03:23):
that's obviously for driving to and from a location. For
it itemizes it too, so you can say like, hey,
this is like for the gym, this is for personal
use like the grocery store, or it's for work. So
I I basically lay out all the places that I
work at and then um and then it logs in accordingly.
So it's pretty nice. Yeah, So what I do is
I used to do that, but now I use I
(03:44):
have a thing that counts my steps. So I go
out of my bedroom, I turned left. I then go
down a hallway without a without a rail, It's like Mr.
Toad's Wild Ride, and then make a right. I go
down the hall. Then I'm gont a fork in the road.
I get to the fork in the road, fork in
the hall, and then turned right and then I'm in
the broadcast studio. So I count the steps. It's roughly
(04:06):
on a on a bad day, if I take really
small steps, I could get up to like forty five steps.
So just going to my office there. So at the
end of the year, I do a cross benefit analysis
there on that, but I use an accountant. And the
reason that we do the Mallard family here is because
I am terrible at at math. And my parents when
(04:30):
I was in high school, they had the knock on
the door. You know what that means, gascon the knock
on the door. They got audited. Yeah, the I R
S knocked on the door and they the math. I'm
told on getting audited. It's even you know, it's worse
now than it was then. That they don't audit very
(04:51):
many people. But I I'm so paranoid about that. And
I remember my parents having to go through and they
kept files on everything. It was all over the house.
May they rest in peace, but they had to track
down all of those files and it was such a
pain in the ascid. It was such a stressful situation
for my parents. Like, at least with an account And
I'm not saying I can't get it audited with an accountant,
(05:11):
but when you have an account and say, okay, I'm
paying you figure it out right. You know, you know
I'm paying the money. You're the one that did the taxes.
It's it's on you, and so it's it gives me
a little peace of mind at night. It gives me.
And I also when they changed the tax code a
few years back and we ended up owing money because
(05:35):
we had the accountant, I guess it not we had
not done that properly, given the right paperwork to the accountant,
and so we had to write a check to the
to the government, and that was It was terrible. But
I have been told over the years that you're actually
better off having to either either have it even or
(05:57):
have to write a small check to the government that
you keep the money and money in hand is better. Uh.
Now that might have been bullshit, but I was told
by somebody that I believe knows this stuff, that you're
better off doing it that way. But I always feel better.
I feel like I've won something, even though the people
that do the math will tell you that you have
not won anything. When you actually get a check back
(06:20):
from from the government that that you think you've done well,
it's like a mind mind trick, like thinking you've done
well when when realistically it's the government that had your
money and is then paying the money back that you
overpaid for taxes. Yeah, with no uh no interest added
to it. I don't feel like it's a win anywhere,
(06:41):
especially nowadays with the money that is being taken and
used for taxes. It's it's awful, it is. But just think, yes,
your money is helping to give people free money that
don't have to do anything, so that's a good thing.
But you get your you are like Robin Hood. You're
stealing from yourself to give to other people. It's a
(07:04):
it's a wonderful thing. What a world we live in here.
Check and I again, I was raised I blame the
people that raised me that I was raised to work
hard and you get paid when you work hard, and
I did. If only my mom had taught me when
I was a little boy, Ben grow up and you know,
(07:27):
if you don't really work hard and you don't have
a job, and you don't try to get a job,
I'll just give you a thousand bucks a month. What
the hell? Why not? Maybe great, wonderful Los Angeles County. Yeah,
I mean it's uh, who's your sugar daddy? L A County? Baby?
Is it? L A County? Is a l A City?
Which one? Is it? I forget it's it's I don't
(07:49):
I don't know. It's probably l A City because l
A County is a much larger, much larger operation, I
would think. But that's the West coast man, that's California. Yeah,
so I love friends in the West, want California to
go out in the Pacific. But you know, I think
it's l A City, l A city giving giving a
thousand dollars a month to two thousand households for an
(08:10):
entire year, no questions asked. It's just as absolutely amazing.
But you know, question, I'm not allowed to ask any questions,
I work like a meal woman. I'll do is talk radio.
Can you mean a few of these people that that
have real jobs? I have a crap, you know, an
easy job. But imagine the people that ust their ass,
you know, and they're not making a ton of money.
(08:30):
Although you can make pretty good money if you're a
handyman or a you know, working depending on what you
do in a factory. There are jobs that pay pretty well.
But then you see the person over there is just
like eating ding dings all day in the cashing in
their checks. What's up with that? No motivation at all?
That's unbelievable. But I mean that that that is an
extension that's actually like a form of bribery in a sense, right,
(08:54):
like we'll pay you you just vote for us next
election term. Well, it's to me, it's not even it's
just it's you're encouraging bad behavior and you just what
are you doing? You know, a dollar there's an old
idiom and I'm gonna probably butcher it here, but it's
(09:15):
something about a dollar earned and the value of that, right,
the value of but that everything with inflation now is insane,
it's insane, and there's no there's no end in sight.
And in my experience, once the prices go up, they
never go back down. It's not the reasons the prices
(09:36):
and say, okay, we're gonna lower the prices. And if
they do lower the prices, I've noticed this. One of
my favorite restaurants I go to not far from the
north Woods here, uh is this chicken fingerplace. And what
they did is they lowered the prices, but they gave
you smaller portions, so they it's a again a mind
(09:56):
mind mind hack where you think you're getting a good deal,
but in reality, what they've done is they've given themselves
more of a profit because they're giving you a smaller
amount of fries or whatever or you know, some side dish,
and they're charging you a little less, but it's a
(10:17):
lot less than they were charging a lot more than
the product's worth. And um so you know it's it's insane,
but there you go. So that is where we're at
the United States is the um you know, leadership role.
And where we're at now we have taking center stage
by now issuing US passports with gender X on it. Now.
(10:43):
Um so now we can you know, break up to
the men your X. What is that gender X. What
is that it's like for non binary, non identifying individuals?
Got you? All? Right? So now there are I don't
really travel much, guest, and you've been all over the world.
I'm not. I've been Oceana, I've been to Hawaii. I've
(11:08):
I've been to Canada briefly. Uh, you know, I don't.
I don't actually never been to Mexico. I've been, I've been.
I've been to the border many times. I've not been
to Mexico. Um, explain, explain this to me, Like I'm
five years old here. So if if you have on
your US passport gender X and you go to a
(11:29):
country that believes in the birds and the bees and
the innies and the outies, Um, what happens? Like? How
does that work? What are they just blindly supposed to
honor that and no questions asked? Or I think you
would see what we got here? I think they would
just laugh. Okay, I'm curious. I'm sure that's I don't know.
(11:54):
I don't know the rest of the world. There are
some grown ups in the rest of the world that realize, hey,
there's men and women and you can, you know, do
what you want with that but come on, is the
is the Party of Science really the party of science?
Or is it just a party of selective science? Because
that's what it sounds like. Science is always selective. Well,
now science is whatever fits your agenda and it works
(12:17):
both ways. Right, that works both ways? That you now
in politics, you just find a scientist. It's kind of
like doctor shopping. Wait, hold on, you don't find the scientists.
You find the lobbyists. You know, but it's like, you know,
if you keep going to enough doctors till you get
the opinion you want or I guess technically doctor shopping
(12:40):
is just going to get pills, like right, But no,
I mean people do the same thing. You get diagnosed
with something, you're like, I don't think that's right, or
I don't want to have the treatment, and then you're
supposed to get a second opinion, and then you get
a third opinion. You go two out of three, and
then you're like, all right, well two out of three
is not good. That's that's try. Why don't we do
three out of five and then we'll do, you know,
(13:02):
four out of seven, then we'll go five out of nine.
If only in the early days when they designed the
infrastructure of American sport. I think was the New York Giants,
remember reading about this years ago. The guy that owned
the New York Giants came up with the seven game
best of seven format for the World Series and whatnot,
(13:23):
which is the gold standard now for championship rounds in
team sports other than obviously football. But if what if
they said let's do five out of nine. I think
some of the early playoffs series we're five out of nine.
It wasn't always four out of seven. H But but
I'm getting carried away here. But the point is you
can in science. It is. It used to be a
(13:46):
case of, well, here's the science. But science is always evolving.
And that's that's one of the weird things about the
people that weaponized science. We talked a lot about how random,
you know, it's they call it in exact act science
is what they call it for a reason. It's imprecise,
it's inaccurate, uh, and it's it's always evolving, even things
(14:08):
that have been confirmed seemingly there are exceptions to the rule.
That's a that's a whole different cannel worms, whole different
channel worms. But it's good though, I mean, well, I
have I have no problems with the challenge. I think
everything should be challenged and questioned. But everything Now if
(14:29):
you do do that, then you are labeled, and then
you are condemned, which is just amazing. But I mean
this is a definition by by definition, though, guests, science
consists of people who are in disagreement with each other.
That is, is that not the but but but good disagreement? Yes,
I mean now you have I mean not now, but
(14:50):
you've had this in years past and decades and generations passed,
like you know, the progressives of cal and u c
l a God forbids someone that's eve they're down the
middle of the road or right wing if they if
they if they want to talk on campus, they get condemned.
Student bodies will will be up in you know, arms
and whatnot. You see irvines now, the same with a
(15:13):
couple of doctors there. It's pretty wild how this is
more polarizing now than ever. But this is obviously here
from the the the genesis of social media to we're
at now. But I mean, this has happened in previous days,
but of course just more highlighted now because of where
we're at politically and and we're social media and television
(15:34):
platforms are out nowadays all about the ratings. Man. Yeah, yeah,
and they've determined the people that keep track of this
on human nature and what people respond to. And it's
like I remember when I was early on in my
career and people said, you're too negative, be more positive,
and they should give me the list of positive talk
(15:55):
radio show hosts that have done well. Uh, and the
list is year Oh, it does not exist. Uh. And
it's the whole follow the science thing which we've had
shoved down our throats here over the last year and
a half, two years, whatever it's been. Now, follow the science,
listen to the experts and all that. And then you
(16:16):
you take a couple of steps back and you're like, well,
who are the experts? It's subjective, right, you do what
they tell you, but it's subjective. And that old line
is accurate. I heard somewhere along the way ten out
of ten scientists degree with whoever funded them so and
I got turned off. As you know, I love studies,
(16:37):
academic studies, and I read a lot of these things
and research done by some school in Australia, and we
we do a bit we haven't done in a while.
On the Saturday podcast we get scientifical and we'll go
over some of the studies, and I don't do it
as much and I'm not into them as much because
you know, generally the it's it's one of those things
(16:58):
like a screenplay, right, or where there's a couple of
ways to write a story from a movie. You can
write a movie and then work your way through this
story and then get to the ending and then come
up with the ending, or you can write the ending
and then write the story. And a lot of the
science world now is you have the ending, and here's
how we're gonna get there. And you know, we're not
(17:19):
gonna get bogged down with whatever the science teach, you
know it leads us to we're gonna find a way
to twist it into what we know the people the
overlords want us to throw out, which is which is
annoying and all that. But but there you go, How
do we end up here? Guesco? How do we end
up in that situation? I don't wait, how do we
(17:39):
bring up this as a topic of conversation or how
do we as a society end up here? We started
talking about as sports and now we've ended up doing
a deep dive. I don't know. We haven't had many
people complain recently about staying on script, like stay in
your sports lanes. So I just feel like so I
(18:01):
feel like me being back here on a Saturday, I
must kind of ruffle the feathers a little bit and
mail to you, listen to you since I was ten
years old. But you said something I don't like. You know,
I can't lispinion. I no longer enjoy it's a it's
(18:24):
it's an opinion based show. I get paid to give opinions.
I didn't get your talking points memo on what I
could say and not and uh, it's always fast. Well,
it's like that article that was published a few days
ago at the middle of the week was Sports Illustrated
basically condemning journalists that we're asking Mike Tomlin about his
(18:45):
desire want to go it's all race, yes, yes, the
extreme liberal members of the media. Anything involving uh, you know,
Mike Tomlin. Yeah, God for bid. We point out that
Carson Palmer, who's on one of the committees at USC
to come up with a coach, is the one that
(19:06):
tossed Tomlin's name out. Seems like a pretty credible source
that he just randomly tossed Mike Toma's name out. But
God forbid. Tomlin's above even being asked the question. He
pisces out gold, you know, liquid gold and ships gold bricks.
Mike Tomlin like, yeah, come on, uh, it's it's insane,
it's a legitimate question to ask. And now I I
(19:29):
did a monologue prior to Tomlin coming out with his rant,
which was wonderful. It's a great ramp by Mike Tomlin,
and pointed out, how why would you leave the one
job where you know you're not gonna be fired? Pete
Carroll could be fired in Seattle and have to go
back to USC with his tail between his legs. I
throughout the name Cliff Kingsbury. Right now, that's not looking
(19:51):
very good because the Cardinals are playing above their means.
They're not that good. We'll come back to Earth, will
have a regression to the mean. But until that happen,
bins Cliff Kingsbury. He's not gonna leave Arizona. But that's
a guy that USC had in the pipe in the
pipe a pipeline rather to replace Clay Healton. A couple
of years ago, he was there for like a week
(20:12):
and then he went to the NFL. So is it
wrong to ask him as the coach? It's not like
the Steelers as as great as they've been in the
regular season and no losing records and they've finished you know,
I think five hundred once or something like that. That's
Tomlin's resume. It's not like it's been a great playoff team.
They've been a pretty easy out playoffs. They rolled over
(20:33):
and played dead against the Browns in the last Let's
let's calm down on that. What have you done for
me lately? And you are ultimately judged on the playoffs? Right?
I don't understand It's not you know what it is though,
is it's not like someone from the MAC no disrespect,
but it's not like someone from Bowling Green. It's not
like a reporter said, hey, would you be interested in
the Bowling Green position? Like hey, would you be interested
(20:55):
in becoming a Toledo Rocket like they said USC If
someone said, hey, would you be interested in the Alabama job?
If Nick Saban retired? Would that be an insult um? Well,
it depends on how well. I didn't think anything Tomins
said was racist. He happened to name two or you're
playing the race card. But he named two coaches who
are white. So that's like, that's like the bat signal
(21:18):
to the to the liberals in the media, like wit
about it. He two coaches who happened to be white guys.
So let me write my column. And it's it's so
funny to those type of columns. And we've all done
it being in uh the radio business, but it's the
way you get to that column. It's like so and
(21:39):
so didn't actually say this, but you know, you know
you didn't have to. It's like, come on, yeah, it's whack.
But I mean, there's plenty of coaches out there that
that get those offers, and and I think one would
be flattered. But I don't know. I asked Chris Broussard
and Rob Parker this during the middle of the week.
(22:00):
If you were in the position, or you can go
to a usc A, Clemson, Obama, you know, I don't know, Florida,
maybe Florida state where you run the entire show, like
you run the university and you never have to worry
about someone talking over you. Why wouldn't you do that?
Whereas if you're a head coach in the NFL. Not
(22:21):
to say Tomlin, but if you're a head coach in
the NFL, you're running the risk of a dude that's
making double the salary that you are as a player,
and he could just tell you to go shove it,
and you have nothing. You can't say anything about it
because ultimately you depend on him and he's the one
getting paid to do the work that you were trying
to execute. Yeah. Yeah, here's the problem, though, there's so
(22:45):
much bullshit you have to put up with at the
college level. You don't have to put up with the
n what of it. You have a segment annually every
summer that is catered towards bullshit. The NFL book hum
is the height of the height of play. But spoiler alert,
you still have that in college. In fact, there are
(23:05):
more college football players. We don't talk about it, but
they head. You're a meathead college guy and you're out
there and there's all these beautiful people around you, and
there's drugs and booze, and you're experimenting for the maybe
the first time in your life. You're in a different place,
and you get in all kinds of trouble and then
you gotta deal with the parents and say, well, I
(23:28):
allowed my my child to go play for you, and
now he's he's doing crack at a whorehouse. What do
you what's wrong with you? Right, dude? Not everyone goes
to Louisville. All right. I'm just saying, like, if you're
if you had a choice between an NFL job and
a college job, even a good college job, I would
rather have an NFL job. As a former coach told
(23:48):
me years ago, the difference between college and the NFL
is In college, you have to go out and chase
down the players. In the NFL, the players come to you.
Now you only get to get a few of them,
but they have the combine in in college football. Listen,
you do a lot of these high school games. How
often do you see scouts or assistant coaches or even
(24:09):
head coaches from major college programs. If you're doing some
hotshot quarterback who are sitting there and you know, just
just so they can be seen in the crowd and
so the family and everyone can know that they're there
to see player X, and it's you gotta do that.
That's the kind of stuff you have to do in
the NFL. Just show up to the combine and a
couple of pro days and you're pretty much there, just
(24:30):
as you know, a side show, because it's the scouting
department that does most of the heavy living on on
those things. No, that's true, I will I think with
today's environment with the NFL, I would agree. I think
I think working in Jacksonville is a good job. And
it comes down to ownership, right I That is mostly
(24:53):
bullcrap like because there are very few meddling owners that
actually mess up the day to day operations in the
fell like okay, say, are people who they think are
good who are bad. So really the problem is they
hire people who suck. But it's not like you can
you can win in any environment that I heard that
about the Knicks with James Dolan and all that for you, Well,
(25:15):
James Dolan still owns the Knicks, and now the Knicks
are they're a mid level contender in the Eastern Conference.
I heard the same thing about Donald Sterling for all
of you. Well, Donald was loyal to Elgin Baylor, and
Elgin as great a player as he was, he had
all these lottery picks and all that and was unable
to even the l a market. Yeah, is that love?
(25:36):
The NBA. It's Miami l A. And that's about it.
You know, maybe places in Texas guys want to play
right now, Yeah, but what about I mean, look at Dallas.
Though Dallas is a perfect example. They they basically punted
on Jimmy Johnson. I want a Super Bowl with Barry Schwitzer.
But I mean that was a well oiled machine. And
(25:57):
that's a difference. That that's different because Jerry Jones is
that m there. That's but it's not like Donald Sterling
was the GM. Now. The problem he had was he
would he would decide who the coach was often and
he would meet with Elgin, would recommend to people and
then uh Sterling would seemingly pick the worst candidate every
(26:18):
time in those in those years. But I didn't I
didn't want to move on here for se escum because
there's a story I got and I sent this to
you the other day, and I relate to this story.
Blind Scott actually directed me to the story of all people.
This is a blind leading the blind. He didn't he
didn't block your anything. No, no, no. He sent me
(26:40):
like some like grant that was ted messages long and
then blocked me. Oh yeah, now he sends he hates
your politics, and so he sends a lot of email
to the Fifth Hour podcast email Real fifth Hour at
gmail dot com. And I believe the sole purpose of
those email is to annoy you, compliment that those emails are.
(27:04):
And you don't even see these emails, so I'm the
one that sees them. But one of them caught my
attention here and it's one of my favorite stories of
the week. The headline on this is meet the guy
who spends just a hundred fifty dollars a year to
eat all of his meals at six Flags. Yeah, and
this is one of us. So this is thirty three
(27:25):
year old dude. We'll call him by his name Dylan,
which is ironically the same name as Blind Scott's dog,
which makes me think this might be a fake story.
But anyway, the story it was in a magazine and
they claim that this, uh, this thirty three year old
guys electrical engineer in Santa Clarita, which is where if
(27:47):
you're not familiar with geography in California, if you go
to six Flags, that's where you are. And uh so
he pays around a hundred and fifty dollars. The story
goes uh for year round access to six Flags that
includes parking and two meals a day. And so this
(28:07):
guy claims, the story goes that he for years has
paid the one fifty dollar fee. This all started in
he was an intern at six Flags Magic Mountain in
southern California, and he noticed the deal and then put
two and two together. He's a young guy, uh and
(28:28):
trying to make his way. They're fresh out of college,
and so he laid down the money and he found
the deal and he has been since that day eating
his meals, almost all of his meals at six Flags
Magic mount carnival food. This guy's meaning, now, guess do
(28:50):
they have that deal? Can we confirm that they have
six Flags has the one meal? I gotta I gotta
look into that. How is this any How is this
any different? Though from your twenties when you were crashing
Dodgers Stadium in the Great Western This is how I
relate to the story, because I didn't even have to
(29:11):
pay a hundred and fifty dollars a year. I just
had to pay for gas. But when I was early
on in the media, back in the glory days of
being in the media, when I first started, everything was
free all the food and I covered games. My job,
my first real radio job. My first real radio job.
(29:31):
I was an engineer for San Diego State basketball, which
was a disaster and those games were on Cogo AM
in San Diego. But I didn't That didn't last long
and then I got job as a reporter for my
Nighty Nighty in San Diego, but covering the l A market.
And so they assigned me that give me my schedule
(29:52):
and be at a King's game, or a Lakers game,
or a Clippers game, or college game or during the summer,
Dodgers and Angels and mixing. You know, there was actually
no football because in those days the only football team
was the Chargers, and so I go to those games sometimes,
but no NFL football in l a H. So anyway,
I go to these games and I was like I
(30:13):
was in my twenties. I was a fat guy. Everything
was free a dot. The O'Malley's owned the Dodgers. They
had steak prime rib quite a bit. They had fish
Fridays because O'Malley very religious to get eat fish on Friday,
good Catholic, So he had that going on. And USC football.
This is when they were terrible and they had been good,
(30:35):
but they were still hanging on. This is before Pete Carroll.
They had this run of coaches and they had the
the carving stations. I remember this in the in the
press box at the Colosseum, the old Colosseum, and there
was a chef with a big you know those big
chef hats, you know, the big white they're like professional
chef and big knives, and just they'd be they'd be
(30:59):
nice roast turkey, there'd be prime rib. It was just outstanding,
just amazing. And uh so yeah, I did live that life.
Uh and I ate better food than this guy. But
that's that's a sneaky good hack. That is a sneaky
good hack for this this particular person. So I'm I'm
(31:20):
now looking here at season passes or I'm curious if
I want to see what's going on here. You know
who's really good at at providing food for the media.
Low key is the Anaheim Ducks. I've not been to
a Duck game since they had Paul Korea. Oh man,
(31:42):
we'll see the Ducks do it right though. The Ducks
will have typically some some snacks throughout the game. Kind
of give me the break that's it, like the pretzels,
the popcorn popcorn pretzel, popcorn pretzel solid waters. Of course
that had the bulls. Then they'd also have either if
it's night game, dinner, you know, lunch obviously, if it's
(32:05):
an afternoon game, they would have that. But once you
got into the third period, getting to the cookies bad.
They still have the cookies. Yeah, and then that was,
oh my god, those the not the cinnamon. What was
the the sugar cookies peanut butter, peanut butter. Oh man,
(32:30):
you I might have to go to an Anaheim Ducks game.
I don't even know who's over there. I couldn't name
one player of the team. I might have to go
out there and make an appearance, a rare and appropriate appearance,
first time in over twenty years, to go see it
du just cookies and have a snack on the on
(32:54):
the uh. This is the actual website for six Flags uh,
six Flags Great America. It says here, uh, we introduce
season dining passes. Because food at six Flags Great America
is not always inexpensive. You could easily spend twenty dollars
per person every time he was at the park. A
season dining pass makes eating at the park almost more
(33:16):
affordable than eating at home. And so here here it
is by Originally this was two hundred nine dollars, but
now they've lowered it because the year is almost over.
So it's eighty nine dollars. You buy Deluxe Dining Pass
and you get free upgrade to exclusive Premium benefits. The
better it's lunch, dinner, and a snack each visit. Free
(33:40):
Premium upgrade lets you eat at every six Flags theme park.
Free Premium upgrade includes a free season drink bottle. So yeah,
so you get to drink and you get the two
meals and a snack on this one for ninety dollars.
Now it was two hundred nine dollars. The other one
is up to like a hundred ninety dollars, but you
(34:03):
get lunch and a snack. So the guy must be
doing de luxe thing. But still two years what kind
I've not been to six Flags? What kind of food
do they just? I imagine it's the same standard standard
carnival food that you would get, which you're talking about
your what we just mentioned that, the pretzels, the nachos,
(34:27):
that kind of thing. Yeah, I don't know that's a
good question. I haven't been. I haven't been to I
haven't been to an amusement park or carnival probably in
a good fifteen twenty years. They have a wide I'm
looking here at the meal plan. If I'm looking at
the right one, this has a good selection. There's big
(34:49):
lose Italian beef. Uh. This must be a different six
Flags because but this is this, This is on the
six Flags website. It says here they have claim Jumper,
which is a chain hasn't done well recently. There's a
Moose Burger Lodge barbecue brisket sliders. I feel like we're
(35:10):
doing this thing we did a couple of weeks ago
with our friend Alfa Alieno Piner. They have big barbecue
brisket sliders, cole slaw and waffle fries. What else do
we have? Let's see macho nacho, Nice nacho nachos with steak,
two dollar upgrade chicken strip meal. Johnny Rockets is their
(35:32):
great American dog house, Mac and cheese, hot dog and fries.
Primo's Pizzeria. That's there. You can get cheese, pizza, slice
and fries, garlic knots or salad. I'm fasting right now,
so all this sounds really good. This is right in
my wheelhouse. If you like that giant Carnival turkey leg,
they have that blue ribbon, you can get that as well. Guest,
(35:55):
that's on the on the rundown. Uh, there's some decent
stuff here. I could do that. That's not that the
guy's complaining foods unhealthy. Yeah, you know it's one man's
unhealthy is another man's healthy. Yeah. Just adding more steps
into your day and um, you know, work out a
(36:16):
little bit harder. Well. The good thing about that is
that an amusement parks you get a lot of steps.
I don't. I go to Disneyland usually once a year
because my wife loves Disneyland and I can figure out
a way to get there for not that much once
a year. So I go once a year. And it's awesome. Man.
We we started like eight in the morning, and they're
(36:37):
there until our legs fall off, and you get so
many steps. And the great thing about going to an
amusement park early, No one wants to get there early.
You get on any ride you want if you get
there at the crack of non and and then you
beat the rush hour. The way to do it, all right,
I think that's enough, guest gon, Yes, and we reached
the end of the road on the Saturday podcast. All right,
(37:00):
very good. We'll have the mailbag on Sunday. How exciting
is that you're gonna be on the mailbag on Sunday Gascon?
You might, I might. Uh yeah, Well we'll talk about
this because, uh well there's lots of things to talk
about with Benny versus the Penny too. Yes, that's right,
Benny versus the Penny, which was on Friday, this of
course being on Saturday. Anyway, have a wonderful rest of
(37:23):
your Saturday. Tell a friend about the podcast. Don't forget
cameo dot com. If you want to have a personalized
Mallard monologue just for you, or just anything at all,
we're there for you. We're there to help for a
nominal fee, of course, phenomenal fee. Have a great Saturday,
what's left of it. We'll catch you next time.
Host
Ben Maller
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