January 15, 2022 • 40 mins
Ben and his 5th Hour rider Danny G. are in the building, having fun talking Ben's Michael Jordan dome, workman's comp on a Joey Bosa nose, being "left on Read", Pop Quiz, and more!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere.
We are back at it on a Saturday. I know
you're excited. Calm down here another edition of the Fifth
Hour were Ben Mallard in Danny g Radio Because four
(00:44):
hours a night are not enough, eight days a week
now the phones are ringing, people are fired up here.
Danny's unbelievable. Look at that, everyone, every line of the building,
just like that. I can't believe it. And how do
they know we're here? It's a podcast. You don't know
when we record the podcast. We could record it three
days ago, we could record it today. Magic of a podcast, Danny.
(01:08):
We cut hours off our lives, I mean, our beauty
sleep to do this. That's right, that's right. We're getting uglier.
Believe it or not, I know it's true. It's true.
We're getting a little uglier by the day. But listen,
I'm excited about this podcast. You know, Saturday is all
about us. It's all about us, and who doesn't like
(01:29):
talking about themselves? Right, so, and it's all about the
greatness of the Raiders. Come down, Come down that it
is a playoff weekend. We'll find out now will the
Raiders live to play another day or will they meet
there to minds? I have no idea. Can you tell
(01:50):
Danny I'm fired up to have the sound effect machine
here as always? Yes, do you have a Josh Jacob's button?
But Baby, if the Raiders do win, I know they
can say this motherfucker just like that to the Bengals
because the Bengals are expecting to win that game, and
there's a chance of snow, right, so they're gonna really
need the running game because Derek Carr is not always
(02:12):
done very well in snow games or cold games for
that matter. Are you saying there? Car is a Californian
warm weather cliche quarterback. He is definitely a California slash
Texas kid. Yeah yeah, but but remember though, Tom Brady
is from northern California and is arguably the greatest cold
(02:33):
Weather quarterback, which just is really a byproduct of paying
with the Patriots, right, I think that's kind of the
deal on that. Anyway, on this podcast, kind of give
you the menu of what's coming up here. We have
an amazing array Harry situation workers, comp salute, and we'll
do a little pop quiz. I like doing pop quiz.
(02:55):
By the way, if the Raiders win, are you okay
with Pistacia continuing as the coach there? Yeah? If he
wins a playoff game and makes it five wins in
a row, I think it'd be hard to argue against
him getting the full time job. But he's not a
big name, right. He's not a big name they needed
with Vegas. You need a big name, right. He's more Branson,
(03:17):
Missouri performer than a Vegas performer name wise. Yeah, but
just win baby is one of the slogans, So you
can't not give him the job just because he doesn't
have a shiny name. Everyone seems to think the Raiders
want the big name coach and that your guy Mark
Davis is willing to throw a whole bunch of cats,
so who knows. So Over the over the last week,
(03:39):
Danny I was convinced I had my arm twisted a
little bit to make a change, to make a change
here now. Uh, As you know you've known me for
a long time, I've always won a lot of hats.
I'm known as the mad Hatter of a sports chatter.
Part of the reason for that is because as I
have gotten a little older, the hair has gone backpack, back, back, back, back, back,
(04:03):
back back back. I just like that. And as a
result of it's a combination really of genetics. I think
I remember as a kid my grandfather. I have a
similar hairline to my grandfather. But then also the stress,
as you know, you know day to day working in radio,
and the stress that we have every day is a
new show. Every day is a new set of fires
(04:26):
to put out. So so it's like the perfect storm.
For the last couple of years, my wife has said,
you know what you should do. She says, you should
just go off the deep end. And and I'm not gonna,
I'm not gonna, you know, do that. Don't get crazy here.
But the last week the plunge. I'm not fully bald,
but I'm close all right now, I'm I'm closing because
(04:48):
of the haircut. It's as close as you can get
without needing a wax like a bowling ball, if you
know what I'm saying, without the Michael Jordan's look. Uh
yeah exactly. And so you know when when you go
to a barbershop or if you cut your own hair,
I don't know, do you cut your own idea? Yeah, yeah,
(05:10):
I use my own clippers, all right. Well, if you
get an electronic razor, you don't have the different settings. Yeah,
and it's like different guards on the blade, yeah exactly.
So it goes what does it go from like six?
I don't know, I don't know what the highest is,
but it goes down to like one, and then you
take the guard off and it's just yeah, there's a
stubble guard. Yeah. So I'm at a I'm at a
(05:32):
number one. I'm at a number one now and I've
always been in four. It's a big step, Danny, in
a man's life. When you go from a four to
a one, that's a that's a dramatic decline. And I
am still getting getting usually and the next step would
(05:52):
be to just shave it everything, just completely nothing left.
But if it was sports, you would be a world champion. Yeah, yeah,
I'm not. I'm not quite. I'm not quite there yet.
It's it's taking a little getting used to it, I
think would be the way that we can describe it.
And but I still wear hats mostly. I'm wearing a
(06:12):
hat right now. I don't need to wear a hat,
but I'm wearing a hat. And but but around the
house I will often go without it. But my wife claims,
I think she's lying to me. She says, Danny, then
it looks better that the way I'm doing it now,
this is the better look, so that I can go
out and I don't need to worry about the hats
(06:33):
and all that stuff. When you have a body like this, Danny,
who needs hair? Right when you're when you're built like
a fledgling uh, you know ball a lard that does
does overnights. But they do say bald is beautiful, Danny.
I've heard that before. Everybody's paying attention to the gun
show and the party. Ball too fifty to look at
(06:55):
the dome. That's right. When when you have the washboard
abs and you are built like Adonis, and everyone looks
at you just goes like that, you don't really need
to worry about the hair, right. The hair is secondary
now It's funny because I remember when Tony Bruno. I
was friends with Tony. Tony worked at Fox and I
(07:15):
worked with them elsewhere, and I remember when Tony took
the plunge because Tony used to have a hair and
he just like, finally one day, that's it. Uh you know,
it shaved everything off and he was doing like TV
stuff at the best damn sports show period, that old
TV show at Fox, and he finally just said, uh,
(07:36):
that's it, I'm out. And yeah, he went for it.
Who knew that? Years later, I now again, I'm not
fully bald, but I'm you can't call me Benny baldy,
but I'm close. So I'm on the I'm on the
spectrum of of bald. I guess you could you could
(07:56):
say on the spectrum. So anyway, that is my tail
with the hairy situation. So I know some of the
guys love to bust my balls and love the goof
on me because of the the hair. But I have
a great hat collection and I'm not giving up the
hat collection and the listeners and and you'll benefit from
(08:18):
this as well. Danny being on the on the podcast
like very generous, like I love hats with bees and
ms on them and uh and you know, because my
name Ben Mallard, so I've got a number of those
and people are very kind, and so it's I'll still
wear the hats. I'm just telling you. I guess I
don't need as big a hat, although I still wear
(08:39):
a size eight, but it's just a little looser now, Davy. Yeah,
you know I have a great hat collection as well.
When I had a hundred percent of my hair, I
still wore a hat every day. So yeah, it doesn't
matter if anyone has anything to say about your head.
You just point up to the rafters to all the
championship banners, that's right, and you tell him, look, I'm
(08:59):
Michael jordan In and you're a sucker. Yeah, And if
you don't like it, you know you are fake you
It didn't happen, right, knock it off. Whatever it is,
I don't even know what it is. But you don't
need a hair transplant, you know. I got I I
think we talked about this before, but I actually got
into the business a little too late for the freezing. Yeah,
(09:24):
because I remember, you know, like a few years before
I got into business, like every local radio guy was
getting lasic eye surgery and hair transplants. And a couple
of years ago, I was working for w e I
in Boston and they still had some advertisers that we're doing,
you know, hair transplants. Remember Jerry Callahan, one of the
(09:47):
hosts that he he had that. I think he had
that done because I remember him on the commercial. But yeah, see,
is that something you'd want your voice on the commercials of.
I don't mind. Come on, I don't care, Danny, you
know them I've done. Come on, look at me? What
a slug? Yeah, I mean I did the lasic eye
surgery thing. When I was a kid. There was no
(10:08):
need um for anything to do with hair, but the eyes.
I didn't mind. It's just like, you know, I needed
glasses to drive my car at night or whatever. Now
I don't need glasses anymore. And but if you're gonna
slap your name on a hair transplant thing, that's a
little cheesy. Well you wanted to work, that's uh. But yeah,
I don't think that stuff. Does that stuff actually work?
(10:29):
I don't know. I mean I I used to work
with a guy in radio that had some work done
and it kind of looked like you could tell something
was little off. You know. Yeah, I guess it's kind
of like botox where you like you said, you can tell.
I don't know how effective it is everybody. I guess
results are different for each person because if there was
(10:52):
one magical solution to that, then every guy would do
that thing right exactly exactly. You know. It's like remember
years ago, there was that infomercial, you know, the spray
on hair it's like and I was like, well, maybe
I'll get that, But then I was like, well, no,
that's a scam because you know you anytime you sweat,
the stuff's gonna drip down your you know, your face,
and it's gonna be be discussing. But to answer your question,
(11:16):
I would I do a commercial for for hair treatment? Yes?
Am I doing a commercial? No? Would I? Would I
pay for it? Probably not? E d Would you do
a commercial for a rectile dysfunction? Oh? I already have Danny?
Come on, man, what are you talking about? Please? Uh?
But in that commercial for M drive, you're not saying
(11:36):
you have Oh no, no, no I'm not. I'm not
announcing that I have. You know I have some issues there,
but but but no, I mean wrote a script saying hey,
I'm Ben Maller and I had a problem in the bedroom.
Would you do that? I believe in the you ever
read the book The Magic Christian that everyone has a price.
So if the check was big enough, Danny, and I
(11:58):
guarantee you right now that check is not big enough.
But if the check was big enough, uh, and there
were enough zeros on that and desmal points and things
like that, of course you would be open to it. Right,
you'd be like, you know, maybe maybe you know why not?
But I mean, I get ripped on this podcast. There's
there's a you know, weight loss uh, you know website
(12:20):
that I endorse, and uh, they bought a good amount
of spots on the podcast, and we think that we're
grateful for that if they're kind of them do that
and people complain about that. I've never understood the complaining
on the podcast commercial because you can just fast forward
and you're not supposed to fast forward, but you can
conceivably fast forward. I know a lot of people are
(12:42):
like driving and doing things while they're listening to the podcast,
but it is if it's that big inconvenience, Danny just
simply you know, hit the hit the buzzer. They just
fast forward. Yeah, we talked about this when I first
joined you on the podcast. Yeah, hey, don't be lazy
like you just said. You can handle it if it
really bugs you, but be You're getting the programming for free,
(13:04):
So don't be be such a cheap ass that you
can't support Ben Mallard, because if you want to support Ben,
that's how you do it exactly. That's what I'm saying.
It's not that hard I play when we do, you know,
I mean, I I just not. This's not a a
college radio show or something. No commercials that we have advertisers.
Every sponsor you here on this podcast by at least one.
(13:28):
And when you're on the phone say Ben Mallard, Ben Mallards, Right,
that's right there, you get. That's that's how it works anyway.
And now the the workers comptail a a bad week
for Danny je is it fair to say, or at
least a bad day. The day was going really well.
I was working with kindergarteners on Wednesday. They do this
(13:49):
game like in between the learning center tables and you know,
all the crap where the kids grown and moan because
they're like, I don't want to learn, which you know,
I agree. I want to do the puzzles and the
fun stuff too, but they get to go to the
play structure after they have their lunch. Now, what is
the play structure For those who don't know, kind of
(14:10):
paint the picture here. What It's just like a regular
playground or something special. It's a big square of that
soft rubber material, you know. Is that way if a
kid falls and hits his head, the head can slightly
bounce off the turf. Is it made out of like
tire stuff? Is? Yeah, it's that that rubber stuff on
(14:30):
the ground. And then it's it's got one slide. It's
your standard little playground, but it's a miniature version. It's
for the little kids. As an adult, you know, you
get on top of this thing and you look mammoth.
The kids always want to play freeze tag. They call
it freeze Monster. Freeze Monster, Freeze Monster. They want me
(14:53):
to be You're the monster. You know, a monster, Danny,
You're the to the kids, you're a monster. I really
and I looked like the monster inside the matter horn
at Disneyland. That's what the kids are picturing as I
tagged them and freeze them. Half the kids tell me no,
you can't freeze me. I have magical powers, and so
(15:14):
they don't play by the rules. The other half stopping,
you know, try to stay still. It's fun for them
for me. After ten minutes, I'm like, Okay, my back
is hurting a little bit. I need a I need
a break. I need an old man break here, an
old monster break. Yeah, because I really got to turn
the jets on because you know, these kids are fast,
(15:36):
so I gotta show my speed. Man. My wheels were
on full display. I'm like fully chasing these kids around
as the monster, and I mean I'm tagging everybody. Every
little damn kid is frozen or shouldn't. You gotta be careful.
Then you're at risk of like popping in Achilles or somebody.
You gotta be careful. I'm pretty fast. The problem on
(15:56):
this small play structure for a big person is I
pulled myself up to reach in and freeze one of
the kids. Now, this kid's name is Anthony. He was like, Mr,
g you can't freeze me because I was born inside
of a flame. What yeah, a flame inside of a flame.
(16:19):
And he's like yeah, and he showed me his hands
and he's like, and my hands shoot out electricity and
he was dead serious, and I'm like, okay. I'm like,
but I'm the freeze monster. So when I tag your
asked your feet turned to puddles and he just wasn't
having it. But I still try to reach in and
freeze him, even though he supposedly had magical powers. Problem.
(16:42):
When I reached my head through, I thought the bar
that goes across was above my head. No, it was
probably at that point like uh, Peyton Manning level forehead.
The five my son alasses came flying off my California
(17:04):
required mask went up above my eyes. I was seeing
stars like tweety bird uh, and I was dazed and
confused for a moment. I mean I hit this bar hard. Yeah,
I smacked that thing because I was going full speed.
Are any of the kids coming over to see if
(17:24):
you're okay or they don't give a crap? You're the
monster and you just died, don't Yeah, they could give
a crap. I saw a little bit of blood on
my hand and I asked one of the kids. I said,
am I bleeding? And he looked at me and he
was like, no, not really, Let's keep playing. And I'm like, okay, Well,
I'm gonna have to at least go wash up. You
(17:45):
know that kid believes and he just rubbed some dirt
on it, some dirt on it, and you're no big deal.
I can respect that, but I mean, I asked another kid,
did it leave a mark? No, no, there's nothing. I
had to go to the main room an ice pack.
They had to wright me up because you know, once
the supervisors of the school see that you're holding an
(18:07):
ice pack on your on your schnauser, then uh and
I and I told the campus supervisor. I was like, no,
I do not need to be written up. I'm not
gonna do workman's camp because that's the only reason they
write that crap up. Oh yeah, they're worried about lots its.
Yeah they don't. They're worried about lawsuits exactly. So she
(18:28):
had to write an email to the school district, which
is hilarious. And I told her, I said, in the
subject line, can you please write freeze monster. Well, they're
they're looking out, yeah, they're looking at for the uh
cash register that you're gonna win the school lottery there.
(18:49):
But that's funny. Yeah, Now, if I did want some
time off this past Wednesday, night. It was a little
harder to go to sleep, but you had the big
schnaz all on right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean my nose
was already big enough. I mean, why couldn't I have
hit something I needed, you know, to be bigger like
my brain? Oh man? And the kids now you know,
(19:13):
you went back to school and after I put the
ice pack away, I sold your right back out there
and continued to play freeze monster. Solid. That's solid. You
rubbed a little dirt on it, put a little ice
on it, and you're back out there. One of the
kids told me, hey, be careful of the bar. Yeah,
you're like in your head, you're like if this kid,
(19:34):
this kid's a loser there this kid, what's wrong with him?
Shut up? That's funny. It's better you than one of
the kids, right, because then it's a whole to do right.
When the kids gets hurt, then it's a nightmare. I
look like Joey Bosa right now. Yeah, you little Joey.
For you, you're forced to wear a mask everywhere, so
you've got that going for you. You cover it up
and we're seventeen masks and your way to go. Uh,
(19:57):
you're on your way. So as far as the uh,
the salute, if you will. So I have, as you have,
been with Fox Sports Radio for a long time. I've
been with the company for pretty much my entire adult
life other than a few years. I worked local radio
before that, and so being Fox Sports Radio for a
long time. The faces come and go, and we've had
(20:18):
an amazingly large number of people that have been on
the air and off the air, behind the scenes, people
that have worked at Fox Sports Radio for the company.
And you know, it's been different the last couple of
years because of COVID. I've been working from the home studio,
which I love and it's great and all that, but
I missed being at the radiations sometimes and being around
(20:38):
the camaraderie that we would have and and all that
and so. But in the early days when I was
there all the time, doing weekends, filling in and all
that stuff. Uh, you know, you have good friends with
a lot of people, and I have very few of
those people have left. Typically I'm out of the loop
on these transactions when people come and go, the comings
and goings, I I don't know unless somebody tells me.
(21:02):
But somebody did tell him that one of our imaging
guys had announced at the end of one that he
was retiring, and this is somebody that I know, and
it hit a nerve with me because I was like,
wait a minute, I know that. Who's that guy? Pal,
who's the guy? And it's I don't even know if
you know him. Yeah, Chris. Yeah, Chris has worked there
(21:27):
since Fox Sports Radio started, and you know behind the
scenes guy along with Vito, who's our imaging guy. Vito.
I remember when Vito started at the company and he's
now been there for a long time as the image guy.
But Chris was also an imaging guy and they worked together.
And if you don't know the inner workings of radio stations,
(21:47):
those guys make all the promos, the commercials, right, I mean,
the the the back and forth, the music, the call
an image. Right. So it's it's the sound of Fox
Sports Radio, right. I think I'm right on that. Yeah,
definitely they and they control the big network voice. So
(22:10):
anytime you hear the big voice of the network involved
in some kind of promoing of the network that they're doing, yeah, exactly.
So they do voiceover sessions with the voice of Fox
Sports Radio and a lot of that stuff. So and
the the very beginning of this podcast, the intro that
you hear with the big voice, they did that, Yeah, exactly. Now,
(22:33):
I know sometimes we can write the copy, but they
will record it, put the imaging, you know, the sound
in and allo anyway. Uh, you know, I've known Chris
for the whole time I've been at Fox Sports Radio.
He was actually with the Premier Networks before fs are
even launched, and then he got assigned to Fox Sports Radio.
So he was an original. And when I started doing
(22:55):
updates back in you know, two thousand, over it one, Uh,
it was I was in the update chair and Chris
sapped at a computer and he was the entire editing
department at Fox Sports rad Now we have a lot
of people behind the scenes now that work in editing,
(23:16):
and all the sound that we play from from different
sporting events, somebody has to be there to record it
it up and the news conferences which take up a
lot of time, so all that stuff, there's a bunch
of people to do that. But for the first two
or three years of Fox Sports Radio, we had one guy,
and it was Chris, and so I found out that
(23:38):
he was retiring, and so I didn't have his number anymore.
I had lost his number. So I reached out to
management and I said, hey, you don't want to call
this guy and so our text him or whatever, and
so I was given his number. You know, it's one
of these things. It's about the aging process right there.
So I remember when he had twins and it's all
(24:00):
excited for him. And then I remember the little little
girls and they would come to the radio station and
hang out with her dad and they were you know, three,
four or five, and then now they're graduated from you know,
college or what. It's insane. It's absolutely insane. What what
has going on? I mean the blink of an eye
(24:21):
boom in college and I think one of them is
out of college already. It's been that long. But anyway,
so that's when you know you're really good friends with
someone though, and you're like, so your kids, what are
they fifth sixth grade? Uh no, they just started at
Cal lou Yeah, yeah, exactly, it exactly. You know, time
slows down for nobody anyway. So I reached out, um
(24:44):
with thanks to management giving me the number. So I
reached out to Chris and this is where it got awkward. Danny. Uh,
you know, I wanted to salute. I sent him a
nice texts, Hey, it's Mallard, you know, and we used
to work together and I haven't talked to you in
a while, you know, because of COVID and all this stuff,
and I, yeah, send him a nice No, I don't
want to get into a personal and so I look,
(25:06):
you know, on your phone, you can see when somebody
reads the message, and he read the message and I'm
waiting for a reply. I'm I'm waiting, thank you. You
know that nothing new phone? Who it is? Right? I mean,
I mean, there's no response, And I'm like, oh, you know, fuck,
I just sent a heartfelt message to some number that
(25:28):
I thought was the right number and it no reply.
And then I'm debating. You know, there's that awkward situation
where you're like, should I send a follow up message?
Should I send a second message? And I almost did.
I didn't do it, and I was like, what, I mean,
who does that? Who reads the message? I can see
that you read the message and you didn't reply, and
(25:49):
I'm sending I'm spilling my guts out. No man wants
to do that. And uh, anyway, I forgot about it.
And then the next day almost twenty four hours later,
I get a reply. Oh man, I was like freaking out.
I was like, what is this about? And uh so, anyway, Chris,
very nice to exchange some messages. But man, I exhaled,
(26:13):
oh man, what have I done here? Because I wasn't sure.
I didn't. I mean they gonna give me a number.
They didn't. I mean maybe they gave me the wrong number,
maybe they had an all number or something like that.
Now it's funny you tell us this story because a
couple of weeks ago, I was filling in for Rob
G on The Odd Couple. Somebody sent me Rob Parker's
contact so that I could communicate with him back and forth.
(26:36):
I entered the contact into my phone and during the show,
I am texting him with all of the callers information,
like line one through six, here's the caller and and
I'm like hello and and on the area. He's like, yeah,
I'm waiting to hear from Danny G about the phone situation.
And I'm sending him another text like dude, I just
(26:58):
sent you all that info and this long change just
from me, but nothing back from him. Finally, somebody replies
and they're like, I don't know who the hell this is?
But please stop texting me? That's great. Yeah. So I
go into the contact and I look and two numbers
(27:20):
are listed inside the contact for Rob, and I guess
the old number is the one that my iPhone triggered
for the text and spending get to Rob's old cell
phone number. Oh that's that's bad, man. So somebody already
got Rob's old number. Yeah, which is great. But imagine
that person who has his old cell phone number getting
(27:44):
random text messages about all the callers on which line.
That's that's hilarious, all the behind the scenes programming notes
and they're like, the hell is this? Yeah, yeah, that's
that's great. That's that's wonderful. Well, you know, it's weird.
Some people have their notefing. Sometimes you text somebody and
you can't tell whether they read it or not. Right,
(28:05):
that turned off. But when you have you but it's weird,
like when you get when you get left on red. Yeah,
it's definitely an uncomfortable feeling. Yeah, especially this because I didn't,
you know, I didn't have talked to the person a while.
I wasn't sure if it was the right number, and
then I was like, oh boy, all right, what are
(28:26):
we doing all right, let's do a little We have
a little time left, Danny, so let's do some pop quiz.
Are you ready Danny g for a Mallard podcast, the
fifth hour edition of pop Quiz. Let's do it all right,
We're gonna let it rip. And again the whole point
of the bit, I'm gonna ask Danny the question. I
have the answers here. This is stuff I found from
(28:48):
the internet, and then Danny can answer it. You can
answer it as well, and we'll see who does better.
So a new survey Danny finds that fifty nine percent
of Americans planned to do this more in two What
is it? Planned to do this more? Yeah, more of
(29:11):
this make babies, make babies. Well, I'm sure we all
would love to do more practice on that, but uh no,
I should say practice making practic not a game. Not
a game, not a game. We're talking about practice. But no.
Spending time with family and friends boring, isn't that? Shouldn't
(29:33):
that be the same every year? Doesn't know? People say
that every year? But but haven't we all kind of
spent too much time with our family and friends the
last couple of years with the COVID stuff, certainly in
maybe not as much in And I guess it depends
what state you're in. Yes, that's true, and yeah, well
we live you have much more time to spend with
(29:53):
your your relatives. A new survey finds Americans are expected
to spend more on this here in two than they
did way back in. Yes, let's say you're gonna buy
more truck. Uh no, it's gone. You spend more money
(30:17):
on vacation travel. Okay, r are you are you having?
Do you have any big vacation plans this year? Not yet?
Not yet, No, But my tender RONI is definitely a planner.
Loves to go on little getaways. I like to get
out of town too, so looking forward to going somewhere.
But things are kind of strange out there right now.
(30:38):
With this latest variant, I had the latest feel. Yes
you did, Thank God you didn't die, and that's the
whole thing. More people might be getting it, but way
less people are dying, thank god. Yeah, it's like a
point four percent mortality rate. I think you're in pretty
good shape. But that should be the slogan for travel agencies. Yeah, yeah,
(30:58):
I'm trying. Like this year, I think I'm gonna get
back on a plane for the first time since en
I've been on a plane in the the last couple of years.
Supposed to go to North Carolina for a wedding and
that's like the Outer Banks, and we have listeners in
North Carolina. It's like the Outer Banks, which is out
in the boondocks of North Carolina. Uh, there's a wedding
I'm supposed to go to, which is I think it's
(31:19):
actually like closer to Virginia than it is, like the
meat and potatoes in North Carolina. Uh. And then I've
also been and talks to go back to Kansas City
for kind of an appearance thing in Kansas. I might
go back. They're nothing confirmed on Kansas City. And I
still I'm trying to get to Minnesota. I mean, so
(31:40):
I have I have big plans. I don't know if
any of this is actually gonna happen. The wedding will happen,
because I think that's March or May. I don't know.
It starts with an M one of those M months
when paid deposits are involved, you know that date's gonna happen. Yeah,
there's no going back in and plus the wife really
wants to go, so there's a I'm I could conceivably stay,
(32:02):
but I'd get in a lot of trouble, you know
what I'm saying That I get said I gotta stay
and hold down the ford. But then that would that
would cause a different set of problems. Seventy nine percent
danny of Americans surveyed believed that this food best leftovers. Now,
I hate leftovers generally speaking, other than pizza, hate leftovers.
But they say this food makes the best leftovers. I'm
(32:24):
gonna say Italian, Italian, and that time is not right
little pasta because the flavors. Yeah, the flavors really sit
into a pasta when you've heat it up the next day,
it could be absolutely delicious. Now, I agree with you.
But the answer they gave here is soup. Soup soup. Yeah,
(32:47):
I don't know. I don't know either. I'm not a
big soup person. It's not a meal to me. It's
just an appetizer. Yeah, I agree, it's an appetizer good
like French onion soup is not. I mean, I I'm
more into a nod chicken soup. When I I was
sick the last couple weeks with the COVID, so I
had a lot of chicken soup, chicken broth. You know.
For me growing up Jewish, matzo ball soup is a
(33:08):
big deal. But I'm not like I can go the
rest of my life without soup. And I'm okay. Tomato
bisque with a grilled cheese not not bad. Yeah sure. Yeah.
But when somebody says, because my mom used to pull
this when I was a little kid, all right, dinner's
on the table, and she would have a big thing
of tomato soup on the middle of the table with
(33:30):
crackers and stuff like that, I'm like, that's not a meal.
You're like, where's the main event. That's the that's the
pregame show. Where's the main where's the main event? Yeah,
soup is not a main event. I'm sorry. Even like
my mom used to make lentil soup, which is a
really thick I hated it. I couldn't stand it, but
(33:51):
she loved especially when it's cold, she'd make lentil soup.
And I didn't really like she loved it. So go
to the habachi grill. I do like that miso soup.
That's good. Yeah, you know, yeah, again, that's the pregame
before you get to the lobster and the shrimp. There's
a as an Italian wedding something soup that's pretty good, Neste.
(34:13):
Now we're just talking about soup. Now we're just being
a whole riff. We don't like soup, but we we
just named a bunch of soup. French onion, mots of
ball soup, chicken soup, the wedding soup, the Italian soup,
the tomatoes. There's a lot of there's a whole bunch
of soups out there, Daddy, Yeah, turned into a Seinfeld episode.
Are we gonna end up as the old guys going
(34:34):
to the soup plantation? Still around that place? No, it's not.
COVID shut it down. Yeah, and uh we were. I
say we because my my girl, before I even met her,
she agreed. She used to go there a lot too.
I probably bumped into her there. Back in the day.
That was a go to place in Camario, California. They
(34:55):
had this big soup plantation. You'd go in there, get
the slices of pizza and the different breads and the
different muffins and stuff like that corn bread, and then
they had an assortment of some really good soups. But
you see they had all the sides to go with it.
Well that's the key. You fill up on the pizza
and the bread and all that stuff. And yeah, sure,
(35:15):
all right, well face style COVID killed it. Here, it
killed it, but I think elsewhere it's lucky bastards. Yeah,
eleven percent of women, that's a small percent of women
have turned down a dude for a date because of this.
It is danny. What would a woman turn a date
(35:37):
down from a guy for eleven percent? It's a small percent,
so because of the way he dressed. It's kind of
like that. But it's too many tattoos, Like there's apparently
there's a limit on body art. And then if you've
crossed for some women, if you crossed that line, you
(35:58):
know women at will be honest. Here the stereotype is
like like to change men, and you can't change the tattoo.
It's very hard to change the tattoo, right, that's forever.
So if you're not a fan of the tattoo, but
some women love the tective, they're all about the tattoome.
I was just gonna say, thank goodness, Mike gender roon
he loves tattoos, because I do have a lot of
(36:18):
tattoos you like the body and I heard it's addictive.
I remember there's a guy Alex we had I had
on a podcast couple months ago, Alex, and he just
started getting tattoos and he loves it. He's like he
wants to get a whole sleeve on his arm, like
he's and he spent hours. How many hours have you
spent in tattoo parlor day and to getting your your
body artwork done? I had a cover up on my
(36:40):
chest because when I was younger, the ink and the
art faded and I'm like, okay, let me, let me
work to make this right. He literally took me all
of last year to get my chest fixed, forty hours
in the chair. It was a Russian lady who started
to cover up and Ben, she was heavy handed that needle.
(37:01):
It felt like she was pressing it into my heart.
I've never never gotten a tattoo, but I am. I
remember like driving around tattoo shops like how do these
people stay in business? Now? Are there enough people getting tattoos?
But then, as you said, you have to go back
and there's other things. You know, it's not there's maintenance
involved with the tattoo. It's not you. If it's a
(37:21):
good artist, they market themselves through social media and then
they signed people up ahead of time on their calendar.
If it's a really good artist, they have a waiting
time of a couple of months at least. Wow. Al right.
Next one up on pop was nearly six in ten women,
so almost six believe a marriage proposal. This is close
(37:44):
to your heart day, just did this? A marriage proposal
should include this crying? No, I'm kidding, should include the
man getting on his knee. Uh no, actually, well, I'm
sure that's probably more than six out of ten women
because that's a girl watching a movie a disneygram. Uh yeah,
(38:09):
trained to the age, but asking for the parents blessing,
I asked you for the parents. Now I didn't do that.
I don't know if you did it, but I did not.
But my my wife really wanted to get married anyway,
so she kind of encouraged me. So I felt like
since she wanted to get married, I think she didn't
need me to do the whole you know, the proper
(38:29):
old school, you know. And and her I get along
with her mom and dad, my in laws, and they're
they're great people. But I didn't like ask for refermission.
I didn't either, and the reason why I was I
didn't want to chance to surprise getting ruined. And also,
like you said, I knew from meeting them that they
approved and liked me. So at that point, you know,
(38:52):
that's all you kind of need. I'm like, well, they're
gonna be happy, they're not gonna be mad. I love
you killed me, all right, we I think we have
time for one more and then we have to get
out of here. This food is thrown away more than
any other in the United States. What is it? Was
the number one food that is thrown away? You like
(39:13):
this answer? Ranch? Well that should be that should be
the answer, but unfortunately it's not. It is the banana
O I see, because they're time sensitive. Yeah, well, but
you can make banana bread when when banana it shows
(39:34):
it's you know, deterioration obviously changes coloring. But you can
make banana bread and banana it's great. But people will
usually just apparently throw them away. I was just gonna say,
I think that's one thing people say, but then they
don't really mean it. My mom would always be like, oh,
just leave those old bananas there. I'm gonna make banana bread.
Yeah right, she wound up throwing them all away. Yeah no, no,
(39:56):
that's true. It sounds good. You're you're right. It's one
of those things that sounds good to day. I'm gonna
make banana bread, but then there's a whole bunch of
bullshit you have to do to make banana bread. I
got it all over me. And who wants to put
up with the bullshit? Right? So you don't want to
bother with it? And so yeah, anyway, alright, very good.
(40:17):
We will have a mail bag podcast. If you did
not hear the Friday podcast, go back downloaded football football football,
you get your football fixed, uh and all that. And
you can follow both of us on Twitter. I'm at
Ben Mallard Danny G Radio right on on Twitter at
Danny G Radio, Go Raiders. Big game today, wonderful and
(40:41):
we will catch it tomorrow. That's right. Flan
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere.
We are back at it on a Saturday. I know
you're excited. Calm down here another edition of the Fifth
Hour were Ben Mallard in Danny g Radio Because four
(00:44):
hours a night are not enough, eight days a week
now the phones are ringing, people are fired up here.
Danny's unbelievable. Look at that, everyone, every line of the building,
just like that. I can't believe it. And how do
they know we're here? It's a podcast. You don't know
when we record the podcast. We could record it three
days ago, we could record it today. Magic of a podcast, Danny.
(01:08):
We cut hours off our lives, I mean, our beauty
sleep to do this. That's right, that's right. We're getting uglier.
Believe it or not, I know it's true. It's true.
We're getting a little uglier by the day. But listen,
I'm excited about this podcast. You know, Saturday is all
about us. It's all about us, and who doesn't like
(01:29):
talking about themselves? Right, so, and it's all about the
greatness of the Raiders. Come down, Come down that it
is a playoff weekend. We'll find out now will the
Raiders live to play another day or will they meet
there to minds? I have no idea. Can you tell
(01:50):
Danny I'm fired up to have the sound effect machine
here as always? Yes, do you have a Josh Jacob's button?
But Baby, if the Raiders do win, I know they
can say this motherfucker just like that to the Bengals
because the Bengals are expecting to win that game, and
there's a chance of snow, right, so they're gonna really
need the running game because Derek Carr is not always
(02:12):
done very well in snow games or cold games for
that matter. Are you saying there? Car is a Californian
warm weather cliche quarterback. He is definitely a California slash
Texas kid. Yeah yeah, but but remember though, Tom Brady
is from northern California and is arguably the greatest cold
(02:33):
Weather quarterback, which just is really a byproduct of paying
with the Patriots, right, I think that's kind of the
deal on that. Anyway, on this podcast, kind of give
you the menu of what's coming up here. We have
an amazing array Harry situation workers, comp salute, and we'll
do a little pop quiz. I like doing pop quiz.
(02:55):
By the way, if the Raiders win, are you okay
with Pistacia continuing as the coach there? Yeah? If he
wins a playoff game and makes it five wins in
a row, I think it'd be hard to argue against
him getting the full time job. But he's not a
big name, right. He's not a big name they needed
with Vegas. You need a big name, right. He's more Branson,
(03:17):
Missouri performer than a Vegas performer name wise. Yeah, but
just win baby is one of the slogans, So you
can't not give him the job just because he doesn't
have a shiny name. Everyone seems to think the Raiders
want the big name coach and that your guy Mark
Davis is willing to throw a whole bunch of cats,
so who knows. So Over the over the last week,
(03:39):
Danny I was convinced I had my arm twisted a
little bit to make a change, to make a change
here now. Uh, As you know you've known me for
a long time, I've always won a lot of hats.
I'm known as the mad Hatter of a sports chatter.
Part of the reason for that is because as I
have gotten a little older, the hair has gone backpack, back, back, back, back, back,
(04:03):
back back back. I just like that. And as a
result of it's a combination really of genetics. I think
I remember as a kid my grandfather. I have a
similar hairline to my grandfather. But then also the stress,
as you know, you know day to day working in radio,
and the stress that we have every day is a
new show. Every day is a new set of fires
(04:26):
to put out. So so it's like the perfect storm.
For the last couple of years, my wife has said,
you know what you should do. She says, you should
just go off the deep end. And and I'm not gonna,
I'm not gonna, you know, do that. Don't get crazy here.
But the last week the plunge. I'm not fully bald,
but I'm close all right now, I'm I'm closing because
(04:48):
of the haircut. It's as close as you can get
without needing a wax like a bowling ball, if you
know what I'm saying, without the Michael Jordan's look. Uh
yeah exactly. And so you know when when you go
to a barbershop or if you cut your own hair,
I don't know, do you cut your own idea? Yeah, yeah,
(05:10):
I use my own clippers, all right. Well, if you
get an electronic razor, you don't have the different settings. Yeah,
and it's like different guards on the blade, yeah exactly.
So it goes what does it go from like six?
I don't know, I don't know what the highest is,
but it goes down to like one, and then you
take the guard off and it's just yeah, there's a
stubble guard. Yeah. So I'm at a I'm at a
(05:32):
number one. I'm at a number one now and I've
always been in four. It's a big step, Danny, in
a man's life. When you go from a four to
a one, that's a that's a dramatic decline. And I
am still getting getting usually and the next step would
(05:52):
be to just shave it everything, just completely nothing left.
But if it was sports, you would be a world champion. Yeah, yeah,
I'm not. I'm not quite. I'm not quite there yet.
It's it's taking a little getting used to it, I
think would be the way that we can describe it.
And but I still wear hats mostly. I'm wearing a
(06:12):
hat right now. I don't need to wear a hat,
but I'm wearing a hat. And but but around the
house I will often go without it. But my wife claims,
I think she's lying to me. She says, Danny, then
it looks better that the way I'm doing it now,
this is the better look, so that I can go
out and I don't need to worry about the hats
(06:33):
and all that stuff. When you have a body like this, Danny,
who needs hair? Right when you're when you're built like
a fledgling uh, you know ball a lard that does
does overnights. But they do say bald is beautiful, Danny.
I've heard that before. Everybody's paying attention to the gun
show and the party. Ball too fifty to look at
(06:55):
the dome. That's right. When when you have the washboard
abs and you are built like Adonis, and everyone looks
at you just goes like that, you don't really need
to worry about the hair, right. The hair is secondary
now It's funny because I remember when Tony Bruno. I
was friends with Tony. Tony worked at Fox and I
(07:15):
worked with them elsewhere, and I remember when Tony took
the plunge because Tony used to have a hair and
he just like, finally one day, that's it. Uh you know,
it shaved everything off and he was doing like TV
stuff at the best damn sports show period, that old
TV show at Fox, and he finally just said, uh,
(07:36):
that's it, I'm out. And yeah, he went for it.
Who knew that? Years later, I now again, I'm not
fully bald, but I'm you can't call me Benny baldy,
but I'm close. So I'm on the I'm on the
spectrum of of bald. I guess you could you could
(07:56):
say on the spectrum. So anyway, that is my tail
with the hairy situation. So I know some of the
guys love to bust my balls and love the goof
on me because of the the hair. But I have
a great hat collection and I'm not giving up the
hat collection and the listeners and and you'll benefit from
(08:18):
this as well. Danny being on the on the podcast
like very generous, like I love hats with bees and
ms on them and uh and you know, because my
name Ben Mallard, so I've got a number of those
and people are very kind, and so it's I'll still
wear the hats. I'm just telling you. I guess I
don't need as big a hat, although I still wear
(08:39):
a size eight, but it's just a little looser now, Davy. Yeah,
you know I have a great hat collection as well.
When I had a hundred percent of my hair, I
still wore a hat every day. So yeah, it doesn't
matter if anyone has anything to say about your head.
You just point up to the rafters to all the
championship banners, that's right, and you tell him, look, I'm
(08:59):
Michael jordan In and you're a sucker. Yeah, And if
you don't like it, you know you are fake you
It didn't happen, right, knock it off. Whatever it is,
I don't even know what it is. But you don't
need a hair transplant, you know. I got I I
think we talked about this before, but I actually got
into the business a little too late for the freezing. Yeah,
(09:24):
because I remember, you know, like a few years before
I got into business, like every local radio guy was
getting lasic eye surgery and hair transplants. And a couple
of years ago, I was working for w e I
in Boston and they still had some advertisers that we're doing,
you know, hair transplants. Remember Jerry Callahan, one of the
(09:47):
hosts that he he had that. I think he had
that done because I remember him on the commercial. But yeah, see,
is that something you'd want your voice on the commercials of.
I don't mind. Come on, I don't care, Danny, you
know them I've done. Come on, look at me? What
a slug? Yeah, I mean I did the lasic eye
surgery thing. When I was a kid. There was no
(10:08):
need um for anything to do with hair, but the eyes.
I didn't mind. It's just like, you know, I needed
glasses to drive my car at night or whatever. Now
I don't need glasses anymore. And but if you're gonna
slap your name on a hair transplant thing, that's a
little cheesy. Well you wanted to work, that's uh. But yeah,
I don't think that stuff. Does that stuff actually work?
(10:29):
I don't know. I mean I I used to work
with a guy in radio that had some work done
and it kind of looked like you could tell something
was little off. You know. Yeah, I guess it's kind
of like botox where you like you said, you can tell.
I don't know how effective it is everybody. I guess
results are different for each person because if there was
(10:52):
one magical solution to that, then every guy would do
that thing right exactly exactly. You know. It's like remember
years ago, there was that infomercial, you know, the spray
on hair it's like and I was like, well, maybe
I'll get that, But then I was like, well, no,
that's a scam because you know you anytime you sweat,
the stuff's gonna drip down your you know, your face,
and it's gonna be be discussing. But to answer your question,
(11:16):
I would I do a commercial for for hair treatment? Yes?
Am I doing a commercial? No? Would I? Would I
pay for it? Probably not? E d Would you do
a commercial for a rectile dysfunction? Oh? I already have Danny?
Come on, man, what are you talking about? Please? Uh?
But in that commercial for M drive, you're not saying
(11:36):
you have Oh no, no, no I'm not. I'm not
announcing that I have. You know I have some issues there,
but but but no, I mean wrote a script saying hey,
I'm Ben Maller and I had a problem in the bedroom.
Would you do that? I believe in the you ever
read the book The Magic Christian that everyone has a price.
So if the check was big enough, Danny, and I
(11:58):
guarantee you right now that check is not big enough.
But if the check was big enough, uh, and there
were enough zeros on that and desmal points and things
like that, of course you would be open to it. Right,
you'd be like, you know, maybe maybe you know why not?
But I mean, I get ripped on this podcast. There's
there's a you know, weight loss uh, you know website
(12:20):
that I endorse, and uh, they bought a good amount
of spots on the podcast, and we think that we're
grateful for that if they're kind of them do that
and people complain about that. I've never understood the complaining
on the podcast commercial because you can just fast forward
and you're not supposed to fast forward, but you can
conceivably fast forward. I know a lot of people are
(12:42):
like driving and doing things while they're listening to the podcast,
but it is if it's that big inconvenience, Danny just
simply you know, hit the hit the buzzer. They just
fast forward. Yeah, we talked about this when I first
joined you on the podcast. Yeah, hey, don't be lazy
like you just said. You can handle it if it
really bugs you, but be You're getting the programming for free,
(13:04):
So don't be be such a cheap ass that you
can't support Ben Mallard, because if you want to support Ben,
that's how you do it exactly. That's what I'm saying.
It's not that hard I play when we do, you know,
I mean, I I just not. This's not a a
college radio show or something. No commercials that we have advertisers.
Every sponsor you here on this podcast by at least one.
(13:28):
And when you're on the phone say Ben Mallard, Ben Mallards, Right,
that's right there, you get. That's that's how it works anyway.
And now the the workers comptail a a bad week
for Danny je is it fair to say, or at
least a bad day. The day was going really well.
I was working with kindergarteners on Wednesday. They do this
(13:49):
game like in between the learning center tables and you know,
all the crap where the kids grown and moan because
they're like, I don't want to learn, which you know,
I agree. I want to do the puzzles and the
fun stuff too, but they get to go to the
play structure after they have their lunch. Now, what is
the play structure For those who don't know, kind of
(14:10):
paint the picture here. What It's just like a regular
playground or something special. It's a big square of that
soft rubber material, you know. Is that way if a
kid falls and hits his head, the head can slightly
bounce off the turf. Is it made out of like
tire stuff? Is? Yeah, it's that that rubber stuff on
(14:30):
the ground. And then it's it's got one slide. It's
your standard little playground, but it's a miniature version. It's
for the little kids. As an adult, you know, you
get on top of this thing and you look mammoth.
The kids always want to play freeze tag. They call
it freeze Monster. Freeze Monster, Freeze Monster. They want me
(14:53):
to be You're the monster. You know, a monster, Danny,
You're the to the kids, you're a monster. I really
and I looked like the monster inside the matter horn
at Disneyland. That's what the kids are picturing as I
tagged them and freeze them. Half the kids tell me no,
you can't freeze me. I have magical powers, and so
(15:14):
they don't play by the rules. The other half stopping,
you know, try to stay still. It's fun for them
for me. After ten minutes, I'm like, Okay, my back
is hurting a little bit. I need a I need
a break. I need an old man break here, an
old monster break. Yeah, because I really got to turn
the jets on because you know, these kids are fast,
(15:36):
so I gotta show my speed. Man. My wheels were
on full display. I'm like fully chasing these kids around
as the monster, and I mean I'm tagging everybody. Every
little damn kid is frozen or shouldn't. You gotta be careful.
Then you're at risk of like popping in Achilles or somebody.
You gotta be careful. I'm pretty fast. The problem on
(15:56):
this small play structure for a big person is I
pulled myself up to reach in and freeze one of
the kids. Now, this kid's name is Anthony. He was like, Mr,
g you can't freeze me because I was born inside
of a flame. What yeah, a flame inside of a flame.
(16:19):
And he's like yeah, and he showed me his hands
and he's like, and my hands shoot out electricity and
he was dead serious, and I'm like, okay. I'm like,
but I'm the freeze monster. So when I tag your
asked your feet turned to puddles and he just wasn't
having it. But I still try to reach in and
freeze him, even though he supposedly had magical powers. Problem.
(16:42):
When I reached my head through, I thought the bar
that goes across was above my head. No, it was
probably at that point like uh, Peyton Manning level forehead.
The five my son alasses came flying off my California
(17:04):
required mask went up above my eyes. I was seeing
stars like tweety bird uh, and I was dazed and
confused for a moment. I mean I hit this bar hard. Yeah,
I smacked that thing because I was going full speed.
Are any of the kids coming over to see if
(17:24):
you're okay or they don't give a crap? You're the
monster and you just died, don't Yeah, they could give
a crap. I saw a little bit of blood on
my hand and I asked one of the kids. I said,
am I bleeding? And he looked at me and he
was like, no, not really, Let's keep playing. And I'm like, okay, Well,
I'm gonna have to at least go wash up. You
(17:45):
know that kid believes and he just rubbed some dirt
on it, some dirt on it, and you're no big deal.
I can respect that, but I mean, I asked another kid,
did it leave a mark? No, no, there's nothing. I
had to go to the main room an ice pack.
They had to wright me up because you know, once
the supervisors of the school see that you're holding an
(18:07):
ice pack on your on your schnauser, then uh and
I and I told the campus supervisor. I was like, no,
I do not need to be written up. I'm not
gonna do workman's camp because that's the only reason they
write that crap up. Oh yeah, they're worried about lots its.
Yeah they don't. They're worried about lawsuits exactly. So she
(18:28):
had to write an email to the school district, which
is hilarious. And I told her, I said, in the
subject line, can you please write freeze monster. Well, they're
they're looking out, yeah, they're looking at for the uh
cash register that you're gonna win the school lottery there.
(18:49):
But that's funny. Yeah, Now, if I did want some
time off this past Wednesday, night. It was a little
harder to go to sleep, but you had the big
schnaz all on right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean my nose
was already big enough. I mean, why couldn't I have
hit something I needed, you know, to be bigger like
my brain? Oh man? And the kids now you know,
(19:13):
you went back to school and after I put the
ice pack away, I sold your right back out there
and continued to play freeze monster. Solid. That's solid. You
rubbed a little dirt on it, put a little ice
on it, and you're back out there. One of the
kids told me, hey, be careful of the bar. Yeah,
you're like in your head, you're like if this kid,
(19:34):
this kid's a loser there this kid, what's wrong with him?
Shut up? That's funny. It's better you than one of
the kids, right, because then it's a whole to do right.
When the kids gets hurt, then it's a nightmare. I
look like Joey Bosa right now. Yeah, you little Joey.
For you, you're forced to wear a mask everywhere, so
you've got that going for you. You cover it up
and we're seventeen masks and your way to go. Uh,
(19:57):
you're on your way. So as far as the uh,
the salute, if you will. So I have, as you have,
been with Fox Sports Radio for a long time. I've
been with the company for pretty much my entire adult
life other than a few years. I worked local radio
before that, and so being Fox Sports Radio for a
long time. The faces come and go, and we've had
(20:18):
an amazingly large number of people that have been on
the air and off the air, behind the scenes, people
that have worked at Fox Sports Radio for the company.
And you know, it's been different the last couple of
years because of COVID. I've been working from the home studio,
which I love and it's great and all that, but
I missed being at the radiations sometimes and being around
(20:38):
the camaraderie that we would have and and all that
and so. But in the early days when I was
there all the time, doing weekends, filling in and all
that stuff. Uh, you know, you have good friends with
a lot of people, and I have very few of
those people have left. Typically I'm out of the loop
on these transactions when people come and go, the comings
and goings, I I don't know unless somebody tells me.
(21:02):
But somebody did tell him that one of our imaging
guys had announced at the end of one that he
was retiring, and this is somebody that I know, and
it hit a nerve with me because I was like,
wait a minute, I know that. Who's that guy? Pal,
who's the guy? And it's I don't even know if
you know him. Yeah, Chris. Yeah, Chris has worked there
(21:27):
since Fox Sports Radio started, and you know behind the
scenes guy along with Vito, who's our imaging guy. Vito.
I remember when Vito started at the company and he's
now been there for a long time as the image guy.
But Chris was also an imaging guy and they worked together.
And if you don't know the inner workings of radio stations,
(21:47):
those guys make all the promos, the commercials, right, I mean,
the the the back and forth, the music, the call
an image. Right. So it's it's the sound of Fox
Sports Radio, right. I think I'm right on that. Yeah,
definitely they and they control the big network voice. So
(22:10):
anytime you hear the big voice of the network involved
in some kind of promoing of the network that they're doing, yeah, exactly.
So they do voiceover sessions with the voice of Fox
Sports Radio and a lot of that stuff. So and
the the very beginning of this podcast, the intro that
you hear with the big voice, they did that, Yeah, exactly. Now,
(22:33):
I know sometimes we can write the copy, but they
will record it, put the imaging, you know, the sound
in and allo anyway. Uh, you know, I've known Chris
for the whole time I've been at Fox Sports Radio.
He was actually with the Premier Networks before fs are
even launched, and then he got assigned to Fox Sports Radio.
So he was an original. And when I started doing
(22:55):
updates back in you know, two thousand, over it one, Uh,
it was I was in the update chair and Chris
sapped at a computer and he was the entire editing
department at Fox Sports rad Now we have a lot
of people behind the scenes now that work in editing,
(23:16):
and all the sound that we play from from different
sporting events, somebody has to be there to record it
it up and the news conferences which take up a
lot of time, so all that stuff, there's a bunch
of people to do that. But for the first two
or three years of Fox Sports Radio, we had one guy,
and it was Chris, and so I found out that
(23:38):
he was retiring, and so I didn't have his number anymore.
I had lost his number. So I reached out to
management and I said, hey, you don't want to call
this guy and so our text him or whatever, and
so I was given his number. You know, it's one
of these things. It's about the aging process right there.
So I remember when he had twins and it's all
(24:00):
excited for him. And then I remember the little little
girls and they would come to the radio station and
hang out with her dad and they were you know, three,
four or five, and then now they're graduated from you know,
college or what. It's insane. It's absolutely insane. What what
has going on? I mean the blink of an eye
(24:21):
boom in college and I think one of them is
out of college already. It's been that long. But anyway,
so that's when you know you're really good friends with
someone though, and you're like, so your kids, what are
they fifth sixth grade? Uh no, they just started at
Cal lou Yeah, yeah, exactly, it exactly. You know, time
slows down for nobody anyway. So I reached out, um
(24:44):
with thanks to management giving me the number. So I
reached out to Chris and this is where it got awkward. Danny. Uh,
you know, I wanted to salute. I sent him a
nice texts, Hey, it's Mallard, you know, and we used
to work together and I haven't talked to you in
a while, you know, because of COVID and all this stuff,
and I, yeah, send him a nice No, I don't
want to get into a personal and so I look,
(25:06):
you know, on your phone, you can see when somebody
reads the message, and he read the message and I'm
waiting for a reply. I'm I'm waiting, thank you. You
know that nothing new phone? Who it is? Right? I mean,
I mean, there's no response, And I'm like, oh, you know, fuck,
I just sent a heartfelt message to some number that
(25:28):
I thought was the right number and it no reply.
And then I'm debating. You know, there's that awkward situation
where you're like, should I send a follow up message?
Should I send a second message? And I almost did.
I didn't do it, and I was like, what, I mean,
who does that? Who reads the message? I can see
that you read the message and you didn't reply, and
(25:49):
I'm sending I'm spilling my guts out. No man wants
to do that. And uh, anyway, I forgot about it.
And then the next day almost twenty four hours later,
I get a reply. Oh man, I was like freaking out.
I was like, what is this about? And uh so, anyway, Chris,
very nice to exchange some messages. But man, I exhaled,
(26:13):
oh man, what have I done here? Because I wasn't sure.
I didn't. I mean they gonna give me a number.
They didn't. I mean maybe they gave me the wrong number,
maybe they had an all number or something like that.
Now it's funny you tell us this story because a
couple of weeks ago, I was filling in for Rob
G on The Odd Couple. Somebody sent me Rob Parker's
contact so that I could communicate with him back and forth.
(26:36):
I entered the contact into my phone and during the show,
I am texting him with all of the callers information,
like line one through six, here's the caller and and
I'm like hello and and on the area. He's like, yeah,
I'm waiting to hear from Danny G about the phone situation.
And I'm sending him another text like dude, I just
(26:58):
sent you all that info and this long change just
from me, but nothing back from him. Finally, somebody replies
and they're like, I don't know who the hell this is?
But please stop texting me? That's great. Yeah. So I
go into the contact and I look and two numbers
(27:20):
are listed inside the contact for Rob, and I guess
the old number is the one that my iPhone triggered
for the text and spending get to Rob's old cell
phone number. Oh that's that's bad, man. So somebody already
got Rob's old number. Yeah, which is great. But imagine
that person who has his old cell phone number getting
(27:44):
random text messages about all the callers on which line.
That's that's hilarious, all the behind the scenes programming notes
and they're like, the hell is this? Yeah, yeah, that's
that's great. That's that's wonderful. Well, you know, it's weird.
Some people have their notefing. Sometimes you text somebody and
you can't tell whether they read it or not. Right,
(28:05):
that turned off. But when you have you but it's weird,
like when you get when you get left on red. Yeah,
it's definitely an uncomfortable feeling. Yeah, especially this because I didn't,
you know, I didn't have talked to the person a while.
I wasn't sure if it was the right number, and
then I was like, oh boy, all right, what are
(28:26):
we doing all right, let's do a little We have
a little time left, Danny, so let's do some pop quiz.
Are you ready Danny g for a Mallard podcast, the
fifth hour edition of pop Quiz. Let's do it all right,
We're gonna let it rip. And again the whole point
of the bit, I'm gonna ask Danny the question. I
have the answers here. This is stuff I found from
(28:48):
the internet, and then Danny can answer it. You can
answer it as well, and we'll see who does better.
So a new survey Danny finds that fifty nine percent
of Americans planned to do this more in two What
is it? Planned to do this more? Yeah, more of
(29:11):
this make babies, make babies. Well, I'm sure we all
would love to do more practice on that, but uh no,
I should say practice making practic not a game. Not
a game, not a game. We're talking about practice. But no.
Spending time with family and friends boring, isn't that? Shouldn't
(29:33):
that be the same every year? Doesn't know? People say
that every year? But but haven't we all kind of
spent too much time with our family and friends the
last couple of years with the COVID stuff, certainly in
maybe not as much in And I guess it depends
what state you're in. Yes, that's true, and yeah, well
we live you have much more time to spend with
(29:53):
your your relatives. A new survey finds Americans are expected
to spend more on this here in two than they
did way back in. Yes, let's say you're gonna buy
more truck. Uh no, it's gone. You spend more money
(30:17):
on vacation travel. Okay, r are you are you having?
Do you have any big vacation plans this year? Not yet?
Not yet, No, But my tender RONI is definitely a planner.
Loves to go on little getaways. I like to get
out of town too, so looking forward to going somewhere.
But things are kind of strange out there right now.
(30:38):
With this latest variant, I had the latest feel. Yes
you did, Thank God you didn't die, and that's the
whole thing. More people might be getting it, but way
less people are dying, thank god. Yeah, it's like a
point four percent mortality rate. I think you're in pretty
good shape. But that should be the slogan for travel agencies. Yeah, yeah,
(30:58):
I'm trying. Like this year, I think I'm gonna get
back on a plane for the first time since en
I've been on a plane in the the last couple of years.
Supposed to go to North Carolina for a wedding and
that's like the Outer Banks, and we have listeners in
North Carolina. It's like the Outer Banks, which is out
in the boondocks of North Carolina. Uh, there's a wedding
I'm supposed to go to, which is I think it's
(31:19):
actually like closer to Virginia than it is, like the
meat and potatoes in North Carolina. Uh. And then I've
also been and talks to go back to Kansas City
for kind of an appearance thing in Kansas. I might
go back. They're nothing confirmed on Kansas City. And I
still I'm trying to get to Minnesota. I mean, so
(31:40):
I have I have big plans. I don't know if
any of this is actually gonna happen. The wedding will happen,
because I think that's March or May. I don't know.
It starts with an M one of those M months
when paid deposits are involved, you know that date's gonna happen. Yeah,
there's no going back in and plus the wife really
wants to go, so there's a I'm I could conceivably stay,
(32:02):
but I'd get in a lot of trouble, you know
what I'm saying That I get said I gotta stay
and hold down the ford. But then that would that
would cause a different set of problems. Seventy nine percent
danny of Americans surveyed believed that this food best leftovers. Now,
I hate leftovers generally speaking, other than pizza, hate leftovers.
But they say this food makes the best leftovers. I'm
(32:24):
gonna say Italian, Italian, and that time is not right
little pasta because the flavors. Yeah, the flavors really sit
into a pasta when you've heat it up the next day,
it could be absolutely delicious. Now, I agree with you.
But the answer they gave here is soup. Soup soup. Yeah,
(32:47):
I don't know. I don't know either. I'm not a
big soup person. It's not a meal to me. It's
just an appetizer. Yeah, I agree, it's an appetizer good
like French onion soup is not. I mean, I I'm
more into a nod chicken soup. When I I was
sick the last couple weeks with the COVID, so I
had a lot of chicken soup, chicken broth. You know.
For me growing up Jewish, matzo ball soup is a
(33:08):
big deal. But I'm not like I can go the
rest of my life without soup. And I'm okay. Tomato
bisque with a grilled cheese not not bad. Yeah sure. Yeah.
But when somebody says, because my mom used to pull
this when I was a little kid, all right, dinner's
on the table, and she would have a big thing
of tomato soup on the middle of the table with
(33:30):
crackers and stuff like that, I'm like, that's not a meal.
You're like, where's the main event. That's the that's the
pregame show. Where's the main where's the main event? Yeah,
soup is not a main event. I'm sorry. Even like
my mom used to make lentil soup, which is a
really thick I hated it. I couldn't stand it, but
(33:51):
she loved especially when it's cold, she'd make lentil soup.
And I didn't really like she loved it. So go
to the habachi grill. I do like that miso soup.
That's good. Yeah, you know, yeah, again, that's the pregame
before you get to the lobster and the shrimp. There's
a as an Italian wedding something soup that's pretty good, Neste.
(34:13):
Now we're just talking about soup. Now we're just being
a whole riff. We don't like soup, but we we
just named a bunch of soup. French onion, mots of
ball soup, chicken soup, the wedding soup, the Italian soup,
the tomatoes. There's a lot of there's a whole bunch
of soups out there, Daddy, Yeah, turned into a Seinfeld episode.
Are we gonna end up as the old guys going
(34:34):
to the soup plantation? Still around that place? No, it's not.
COVID shut it down. Yeah, and uh we were. I
say we because my my girl, before I even met her,
she agreed. She used to go there a lot too.
I probably bumped into her there. Back in the day.
That was a go to place in Camario, California. They
(34:55):
had this big soup plantation. You'd go in there, get
the slices of pizza and the different breads and the
different muffins and stuff like that corn bread, and then
they had an assortment of some really good soups. But
you see they had all the sides to go with it.
Well that's the key. You fill up on the pizza
and the bread and all that stuff. And yeah, sure,
(35:15):
all right, well face style COVID killed it. Here, it
killed it, but I think elsewhere it's lucky bastards. Yeah,
eleven percent of women, that's a small percent of women
have turned down a dude for a date because of this.
It is danny. What would a woman turn a date
(35:37):
down from a guy for eleven percent? It's a small percent,
so because of the way he dressed. It's kind of
like that. But it's too many tattoos, Like there's apparently
there's a limit on body art. And then if you've
crossed for some women, if you crossed that line, you
(35:58):
know women at will be honest. Here the stereotype is
like like to change men, and you can't change the tattoo.
It's very hard to change the tattoo, right, that's forever.
So if you're not a fan of the tattoo, but
some women love the tective, they're all about the tattoome.
I was just gonna say, thank goodness, Mike gender roon
he loves tattoos, because I do have a lot of
(36:18):
tattoos you like the body and I heard it's addictive.
I remember there's a guy Alex we had I had
on a podcast couple months ago, Alex, and he just
started getting tattoos and he loves it. He's like he
wants to get a whole sleeve on his arm, like
he's and he spent hours. How many hours have you
spent in tattoo parlor day and to getting your your
body artwork done? I had a cover up on my
(36:40):
chest because when I was younger, the ink and the
art faded and I'm like, okay, let me, let me
work to make this right. He literally took me all
of last year to get my chest fixed, forty hours
in the chair. It was a Russian lady who started
to cover up and Ben, she was heavy handed that needle.
(37:01):
It felt like she was pressing it into my heart.
I've never never gotten a tattoo, but I am. I
remember like driving around tattoo shops like how do these
people stay in business? Now? Are there enough people getting tattoos?
But then, as you said, you have to go back
and there's other things. You know, it's not there's maintenance
involved with the tattoo. It's not you. If it's a
(37:21):
good artist, they market themselves through social media and then
they signed people up ahead of time on their calendar.
If it's a really good artist, they have a waiting
time of a couple of months at least. Wow. Al right.
Next one up on pop was nearly six in ten women,
so almost six believe a marriage proposal. This is close
(37:44):
to your heart day, just did this? A marriage proposal
should include this crying? No, I'm kidding, should include the
man getting on his knee. Uh no, actually, well, I'm
sure that's probably more than six out of ten women
because that's a girl watching a movie a disneygram. Uh yeah,
(38:09):
trained to the age, but asking for the parents blessing,
I asked you for the parents. Now I didn't do that.
I don't know if you did it, but I did not.
But my my wife really wanted to get married anyway,
so she kind of encouraged me. So I felt like
since she wanted to get married, I think she didn't
need me to do the whole you know, the proper
(38:29):
old school, you know. And and her I get along
with her mom and dad, my in laws, and they're
they're great people. But I didn't like ask for refermission.
I didn't either, and the reason why I was I
didn't want to chance to surprise getting ruined. And also,
like you said, I knew from meeting them that they
approved and liked me. So at that point, you know,
(38:52):
that's all you kind of need. I'm like, well, they're
gonna be happy, they're not gonna be mad. I love
you killed me, all right, we I think we have
time for one more and then we have to get
out of here. This food is thrown away more than
any other in the United States. What is it? Was
the number one food that is thrown away? You like
(39:13):
this answer? Ranch? Well that should be that should be
the answer, but unfortunately it's not. It is the banana
O I see, because they're time sensitive. Yeah, well, but
you can make banana bread when when banana it shows
(39:34):
it's you know, deterioration obviously changes coloring. But you can
make banana bread and banana it's great. But people will
usually just apparently throw them away. I was just gonna say,
I think that's one thing people say, but then they
don't really mean it. My mom would always be like, oh,
just leave those old bananas there. I'm gonna make banana bread.
Yeah right, she wound up throwing them all away. Yeah no, no,
(39:56):
that's true. It sounds good. You're you're right. It's one
of those things that sounds good to day. I'm gonna
make banana bread, but then there's a whole bunch of
bullshit you have to do to make banana bread. I
got it all over me. And who wants to put
up with the bullshit? Right? So you don't want to
bother with it? And so yeah, anyway, alright, very good.
(40:17):
We will have a mail bag podcast. If you did
not hear the Friday podcast, go back downloaded football football football,
you get your football fixed, uh and all that. And
you can follow both of us on Twitter. I'm at
Ben Mallard Danny G Radio right on on Twitter at
Danny G Radio, Go Raiders. Big game today, wonderful and
(40:41):
we will catch it tomorrow. That's right. Flan
Host
Ben Maller
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