February 5, 2022 • 38 mins
Ben and his 5th Hour homie Danny G. are working weekends again, having fun talking Ben's SoFi Super Bowl warm-up, Danny's Death Star tour, Spiderman meme comes to life, 10-year old Benny's dream, and more!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
as we are starting a brand new Saturday on the
Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard and Danny G. Because four
hours a night or not enough and this podcast now
(00:43):
eight days a week. Well kind of the radio show podcast,
which is a version of a podcast because they they
molded into the podcast format. But here we are. I
know you're very excited about that. Myself, Ben Mallock, the
Great Danny G Radio back from Lost Weight, just Nevada
and here he is. Unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up, Ben?
(01:06):
I got my NASA snap back hat on and I'm
ready to do some rocket science on this show. Yeah.
I want you to know I'm wearing right now. Do
you know what hat I'm where you can see me
right now? Is that the Philadelphia A's hut, no, no,
try again. Guest number two, what do you think. Let's
see that is the Antelope Valley ant eaters. There you go,
(01:27):
you got that right. Amazing job, unless unfortunately that is
not correct. But the the answer is this is a
Arkansas razorbacks hat that one of our great podcast listeners
sent in and I I like it. I don't normally
wear hats with a's on them, because I only like
(01:49):
hats with the B for Ben or M for for Mallard.
But this is such a cool hat. It's an exemption.
I got a few hats that I wrote work in
my rotation that don't have the M or BE on them,
but this is one of them. Is a good hat,
very large, a one of the biggest letters I've seen
in a hat. I got it all over me. Anyway,
(02:09):
on this edition of the podcast here the fifth hour,
we first of all want to beg you to please
give a good review, not a bad review, a good
review five stars, five stars. Again, people say, why does
it matter who the hell reads those things? And I
agree with you. I think a normal person would not
(02:32):
read those things. But you gott understand we have management
and they have a lot of time on their hands
and so they read those things and it doesn't make
any sense to me. But again that that's just an
easy way to help us and do us a solid
and would certainly certainly be great if you could do that. Again,
that's on the mainly the Apple page, right, Danny, isn't
(02:52):
that the main one for the podcast review? It is? Yeah,
that's where you find the review capabilities. Yeah, so please
say yes no no, you know I said say yes,
not no. If you disagree with something Ben says on
the podcast, feel free to give a two star review. No, no, no, no,
because if you believe that I've said anything incorrect, I mean,
(03:15):
what's wrong with you? Have you noticed that I love
this toy that I have to access to It's just amazing. No,
I haven't noticed, not at all. Right. Yeah, I did
add a few more bells and whistles this week to
make it make it more exciting. Yeah. Can you imagine
if you had this available on your live show? Yeah? Well,
(03:37):
I've told I've told the story. Did I think I
told you? Years ago? When I was first started, I worked,
I started San Diego and I got my first real
talk show. Break was in l A and we had
those the replay machines. Wheah. They were called instant replay machines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly,
the really expensive old technology compared to now you can
(04:00):
do everything on your phone now. But I had that
and I, oh, I love that machine so much. Oh
my god, it was awesome. Uh everything, I just hit
all the buttons after and I hit the rim shot
after everything, and that was the funniest out. And my
program director, this guy Bo Bennett, came running in. He
(04:21):
was not a fan of my use of the replay machine,
and he literally in the middle of a segment I
was talking. I was on the show with this guy
named David Smith, and they pulled the replay machine out.
He was so upset. There were cables attached to it,
either power and then there was another connected to the board,
the engineering board, and he just ripped that thing out
(04:42):
and its stormed out of the studio and that was
that was the end of the replay machine for me.
So yeah, this is like a special treat anyway, in
this edition the Saturday podcast, and he has the weekend
and all that there's no football this weekend, waiting Super
Bowl weeks coming up, and all about the Oh Bowl,
Like I said, there's no football going on this weekend.
(05:04):
Uh so, But but we do have we do have
tales from our lives, tales from what what? What? What
better content than random stories? It's storytime. Everyone loves a
good story. Then, you know, in advertising these days, the
people who make commercials have determined that the way to
get people to spend money is to tell a store.
(05:24):
It's like restaurants. Have you gone to it was the
last time you to a restaurant, Like a chain restaurant.
They didn't have the story of how the restaurants started,
and you know that, you know they were poor, and
they know the moms recipe with whatever it might be.
And they all do it because they have market research
that claims that people love that stuff and it causes
them to go to support whatever that might be. More. Now,
(05:49):
I'm not saying that you're gonna support this podcast more,
but we just we we're just here too, schmooz. Right,
So we're doing so on this podcast, We've got dress rehearsal,
the Death Star, these tighter Man meme comes to life,
and ten year old Benny's dream come true. All of
those year old Benny you know exactly. Uh So, I
(06:11):
wanted to start with this. Now. As you know, Danny,
I don't get out of the Mallard mansion much anymore,
this being the COVID era of our lives. And I
do not like the bullshit that you have to go
through to go anywhere, and a lot of red tape.
I can't stand it. Drives me not. I think a
lot of it is just for show and it doesn't
(06:33):
accomplish anything. If I believe it accomplished something, I would
be all in on it. I think it's just for,
you know, just for people to say, oh, look at me,
I'm virtue signaling. I can't stand it. So uh you know,
the fact I have to go to a football game
and show my papers to cover a football game, it
just blows me away. Uh, it's insane to me. I
do appear to be in the minority though, because I
(06:54):
don't think many people are not going to these things.
But so I had been a staple for like twenty
five plus years of my life at these sporting events,
and now in this year of my life, last three
years two, it's rare and appropriate. I still go out.
(07:14):
I'll go to a Dodger playoff game or a RAM game. Everyone,
but it's rare and appropriate. And the the NFC Championship
game got me to leave my house and I didn't
make it in and we were talking about that on
the podcast and I was like, well, am I gonna go?
And I one the reason I said, am I gonna go?
Not gonna go? Because I was like, well, you know,
the traffic and the the bullshit. But I ended up
doing it, and I'm glad I did. I went to
(07:36):
Sopi Stadium in the hood in Inglewood. How scared were
you with that interception that was in the Niner players hands? Well,
you got to complete the play and he didn't complete
the play, So bat job by him. That's that's the difference, right,
It's just like, yeah, I don't know what his first
(07:58):
name is, but that listen that through the David Tyree catch, great,
great catch people love. I think it was a bull
bull crap catch. But he drops that much different conversation, right,
We're having a much different conversation. Patriots had the perfect
was that the perfect year? But I don't know if
that was even the perfect year. I think that was
a different year. But no, we're having a different conversation
(08:20):
about this, and instead of you know, goofing on Brady
for losing to Eli. A couple of times, we're playing
the sad violin, like how did you lose that game?
It's wrong with you, shame on you anyway. Now, were
you in the beautiful media box? I was? I was
so uh and uh you know this, it was a
long weekend. Uh. You know, there's a lot of stuff
(08:42):
going on in that. But world class operation tip of
the microphone to the rams. I mean that is my god.
I was able to get a taste any of the
super Bowl experience. As you know, the super Bowl is
only for the cool people. And I'm not a cool
and you know you're part of me. Now you're cool,
but I'm you're with me, so you're not cool. So
(09:05):
uh but the super Bowl for like the media elites,
you know, the top one percent of media. And most
of the people that cover the super Bowl don't actually
go to the game. It's a dirty little secret. They
have to watch on television or they don't. Even a
lot of the radio people that come out and cover
the super Bowl they go back. They don't even stay
for the game because they don't have access to access
is limit anyway. Uh So it was out there got
(09:27):
their taste the super Bowl experience that why is that
not not just because it was the same stadium as
super Bowl is gonna be next weekend, But the forty
niner RAM game was a preview of coming attractings. What
I mean by that I was told by a source,
shall we say, that the hospitality staff it's so Fi
(09:49):
stadium treated that game like a dress rehearsal, that they
were using that game as a model for what they
were gonna do in the super Bowl. Which what did
that mean for for me? What does that mean for
the media? That meant for us freeloading in the media.
We were treated like kings. We were treated like the
one percenters who are actually gonna be at the super Bowl.
(10:12):
And so it was like a heavyweight boxing match. When
I looked at all the food was let's go, here
we go. I'm gonna box box the food right now, man,
I'm ready to go. There was food in the air everywhere.
They had a pregame meal chicken catch A tory said
that right there was a pasta dish potatoes, veggies that
(10:34):
wasn't really my jam. I didn't go for that, Danny
h But they had a candy bar, you know, like
an open candy bar. They had oh my god, Eminem's.
They had the Hershey Bars, both regular and almond. They
had a chocolate side and then the other side. They
had like gummy stuff all right, so sweet and sour.
(10:56):
I didn't see they had a brownie table of brownies, cookies,
had soda bar. I didn't see any booze. There was water,
bottled water, healthy snacks. They had a salad bar. I
stayed away from that, Danny. I stayed ten feet. I
was socially distancing from the salad bar. End up. But
(11:16):
I did not I was I was fasting. I did
not actually eat any of the meal, any of the
food before the game. I waited, damn this veteran move.
Veteran move. I waited till halftime. And the reason I
waited at halftime they had more bend friendly foods at halftime,
so they I'm talking to the third person. They had
more food that was more my jam. At halftime. That's
(11:40):
when they pulled out just ram it many sliders, delicious
little cheeseburgers, uh pepper chicken wings, unfortunately, bone in tater tots,
curly fries, onion rings, and there was some other stuff,
but that's all I focused on nice and so I
hit that hard, just ram it hit. That was a
(12:03):
wonderful corner copia of just deliciousness, and I loved it.
And again I was told that it's the same set
up they're gonna have Super Bowl. It's not gonna be
any different. And so I got to experience that, and
I'm grateful it was. It was a lot of fun.
So I had a good time out there. And I
have some other stories that will tell later on some
things that happened to me randomly while I was was
(12:27):
out at the the Rams game with the fourtane So
I was I was doing that. You were hanging out
in Lost Wages, Nevada before we get to the desk Star.
Did you do in a game? No? But my tender
RONI did she win any money? She did, and then
at the end of the trip that got it back.
(12:48):
But she brought three hundred in cash to gamble with.
That was her budget, Okay, So she was like, Okay,
I have three hundred dollars and twenty dollar bills. That's
gonna be what I gamble with at the slot machine.
She loves that wheel of Fortune machine. That's her machine.
That's her jam. My wife likes that Wolf Run. Okay,
you've seen that one. She thinks that's a lucky machine.
(13:12):
I don't agree with that. But yeah, she sits down
at the wheel of fortune machine and she puts five
dollar bets at a time. That's a lot. That's a
bet on a slot machine. Yeah, some people do dimes
and pennies and nickels, and nope, she plays five dollars
at a time, Go bigger, go home, okay. And her
first twenty dollar bill, she turned it into a hundred
(13:33):
and twenty six bucks. Now the movie, and let me
ask you if she did what I what I would
advise you hit a hunter your So she's up a
buck twenty right at that point, take the buck twenty,
put it away back three. That's what I would do that,
I said. Okay, cash out, you're out. Yes, Yes, that's
(13:54):
the move, Danny. Cash out. She did. She turned it
into a ticket, which I posted on my two her
account last weekend. So she carried around that one six
dollar ticket all weekend. But she continued to play the
rest of the cash that she had in her purse.
I couldn't tell what she had one and what she
(14:15):
had lost because she had a combination of tickets and
spare change just moving around from her wallet to her
purse to her pocket. Everything had been joined together as
everything was in a jumbled I got it. That's the
whole purse. Let me tell the purse in theory. A
great idea, but everything gets all mixed together. You don't
(14:37):
even know, right, it's it's every Every purse has got
to be like that. Yeah. By the end of the weekend,
she counted what she had in tickets and it was
three hundred dollars. So she said, hey, this is good.
I address myself. I'm even right now to her credit.
On the last day we were there, on Sunday, she
won twenty bucks on her way out, so she left up.
(15:00):
Want to eat dollars? That's good, it's not bad. She
basically did all that gambling to win twenty bucks and
get a sore throat from all of the cigarette smoke.
Oh yeah, that's that's that's one of the few places
left the western part of the United States where that
is allowed. Man, what is up with all of the
people smoking cigarettes there and blowing it in your face? Yeah?
(15:25):
I wonder are these people because we live in California,
where you're not really allowed to smoke anywhere. Do these
people just smoke because they went in Vegas, act like
you're in Vegas? Or do these people actually smoked year round?
I because I don't see a lot of people smoking
anymore because it's been banned everywhere pretty much. Yeah, like
you said, we don't see it anywhere where we live.
(15:47):
And it's funny because she asked me that same question
when we saw a cigar bar and guys were standing
out in front of that blowing all the cigar smoke
in other people's faces. And that's a step bup of
nasty and um at the Caesar's Palace, that's where that was.
But literally, you walked past somebody and they look at
(16:08):
you and they blow the cigarettes smoke right at your face. Yeah,
a bunch of assholes, pretty much. And I told her,
I said, no, these are people who supposedly quit smoking cigarettes,
but when they go to Vegas they let it all
hang out. So there are a smoker again. Yeah, you
(16:29):
fall back, and do you smell anything else there while
you were in Vegas? Yeah? The strip? Yeah, the Strip
smelled like a hundred coups. There was an infestation of
skunks that somehow attacked the Vegas strip. I don't know
how that is. It's unbelievable. Did you stop and see
the Belage deal fountains Spliff City? Uh No, didn't look
(16:53):
at the fountains. I think we've seen that before. But
we did get to stay at the Palazzo, which was nice.
That is a good hotel. Yeah, it's a good. Look
at you you're a baller, of course, connected to the Venetian. Basically,
just got to walk around those two properties. Across the
(17:14):
street to Caesar is a little bit. You know. We
were at the baseball field for a lot of the
daytime Saturday and Sunday, so it was more nighttime action
in late afternoon action where we were actually at a casino.
That's cool. Yeah, I've not been to Vegas, but I'm
supposed to go to Vegas, I think later this month.
I possibly tentatively scheduled the Good to Vegas later in
(17:37):
the month of February, but I haven't been there since
COVID thing. So I went right before COVID and that
was that was that. But this thing never seems to end,
just keeps going on. And on and on. How busy
it was Vegas because a pack it was packed. It
was I would say about of the people there wore masks,
(17:59):
but it's not a choir like in California. It's more like,
if you want to that is it a rule you
have to wear the mask. Here it seemed like it
was a rule inside but obviously not outside. Okay, yeah,
because it's so far You know the how the the
governor of California keeps mandating mask that wasn't even wearing
a mask. All these these Hollywood a holes who were
(18:22):
telling everyone to wear masks. We're not wearing masks. Saw
that already infamous picture with Magic Johnson. Yeah, that's it was.
It was ridiculous. But yeah, I can go on and
on that. So you ended up at the Death Star,
the Legendary Raiders Stadium. There um beautiful looks like on television.
(18:43):
Never been there. Did it live up to your expectations? Yeah,
beyond impressive. I kind of knew what to expect going
in because I followed along the whole time it was
being built on YouTube. There was a cool special called
from the ground Up with Mike Rowe. Oh I gotta
check that. Us on YouTube. Yes, I love Micro. We
(19:05):
gotta try to get Micro on the podcast. Very cool dude.
If you don't know who we're talking about. He's the
host of the World's Dirtiest Jobs, Dirty Jobs on Discovery. Yeah,
I love love Micro. Dude's got one of the best
narrator of voices in the business. He narrates this series
where they literally from the first shovel in the ground
(19:27):
until they unveil the completed Death Star. He takes you
through the entire process and to watch them spend billions
of dollars and to see how much technology and everything
goes into this new stadium that they sped up because
they wanted to get it done for that season, which
(19:48):
wound up getting canceled for fans because of COVID. But
this was a five year project that they rushed into
three and a half years, and so to watch them
works seven been days a week around the clock. Now
to be able to go there in person last weekend
and actually see it with my own eyes and walk
(20:08):
through the hallways and get on the field see all
of the art installations throughout the building. That was the
one thing that stood out to me, the attention to detail.
Ben ridiculous there. I mean, everything precise and perfect and
just a masterpiece. Yeah, that's cool. It does look realize.
(20:30):
So you did the actual stadium tour, right, you did that.
I had a buddy of mine that lives in Vegas
who said, you gotta do that. It's the coolest thing.
They take you everywhere and you can get a photo
and the whole thing, like from I guess from a
distance they zoom in. I don't know what they do.
They take you to where our friend Brent Musburger and
Lincoln Kennedy sit during the game. And then they also
(20:53):
take you to Mark Davis's personal suite that you get
a view from there. Did they give you the Mark
Davis hair cut? Did they give you that that bowl cut?
Is that part of the deal? I asked one of
the tour guides if there was a barbershop for Mark
Davis there, and he just laughed, So I think the
answer was no. Well, not only that, but the where's
(21:14):
he Where's is the PF Change he hangs out at? Yeah,
p F Change is his favorite spot. There's one right
there on the strip, not far from the stadium. Yeah,
all right, so you made the rounds. What was your
favorite part? Was it the locker room, was the press box?
Was it just being in the tunnels underneath? Like? What
was the coolest part? I would have to say the
(21:34):
Hall of Fame row. They did a great job on that,
and the raider ats shiny new facility. Hello, he's a
lovely lady in my apologies tour my Tinda Rowning took
a picture of herself in the mirror there as she
is my raider at And it's funny because they have
(21:55):
a tour guide in the front who's doing all the talking. Yeah, yeah, up,
and then there's just one guy trailing in the back
whose sole job is to be the caboose of the train.
And so we were straggling the whole time so we
could get the better pictures without strangers in the shots.
He just kept telling us, Oh, it's all good as
(22:17):
long as I'm the last one. You're good, You're good.
So they were. Was he also worried somebody was gonna be,
you know, sneak away and and uh hide out in
the stadium or something like that. Was that really were
worried about? Yeah? Probably, um, you know, because he looked
very nervous. His head was on a swivel inside Mr
Davis's suite, and I was thinking it was someone gonna
(22:38):
do like sleeping here until the next game. But once
we got to where the raidar ats are very cool.
It was like a raidar At museum. I mean, it
showed what the raidar ats looked like in the sixties
and there was it was like a museum of their
uniforms throughout the seasons. The tour guide in the back
told us that his favorite raidar At was Mackenzie. We
(23:00):
went and looked and she was all right, but he
was like, yeah, forget Beyonce, I got to meet her.
She's bad. He was telling us how he would cheat
on her even though he's engaged, he would cheat on
his fiance with Mackenzie. And so we had a good
time laughing at this guy's jokes and we were making
him laugh. We were the end of the train there,
(23:21):
and so that made the tour extra fund the fact
that we didn't follow directions and we didn't really listen
to the lady that was talking at the front of
the tour. Yeah, so she was droning on and on
and on, and you were just kind of enjoying the
sights and the stuff. We were in the back goofing around,
were like the kids goofing around on the field trip. Yeah, well, good,
(23:42):
good for you. That's the proper way to have a
stadium tour. I would agree with that. All right. So
now you've seen this, Now you gotta go to a game, right,
that's the next step. You gotta go to a game
there next year. That is the next step you talked
about so far at the top of the podcast. I've
been there. Very very cool stadium, but very steep. You're
(24:02):
not a man of the people when it comes to
rams games, so you don't understand. But but Ben, when
you actually sit in a section there, not up in
the in the high falutin breast box, yeah, oh my god,
it's so steep that if you slightly tripped, you fall
down this toilet bowl to your death. Well, I don't
(24:24):
like that. I'm not I'm not a fan of steep.
That was the one thing I liked better about Vegas
than so far was you didn't have that steepness going
on with the sections there. Yeah. Did they have a
lake in front of the stadium in Vegas like they
do in my tinder? Rooney's son said, Okay, you guys
have seen both now, so what what do you think.
(24:46):
What's the biggest difference between the two stadiums. We both
said the same thing. We like the inside of the
Death Start better. We like the outside of so Far better.
If Vegas is the Death Star, are so Far as
Jurassic Park? Yeah, it's it's crazy. It's like this weird. Uh.
(25:07):
It's right in the middle of Englewood, which is not
a great neighborhood in l A, that part of of
l A. And it's just amazing, like popped up, not
out of nowhere, out of five billion dollars, but craziness
all right, because I have the Spider Man meme becomes reality.
So back to the trip to SOFI over the weekend.
(25:29):
A lot of red tape, as I said, mass police
all that stuff, A bunch of boozing forty Niner fans
who walked through there before the game. Danny and I
had to walk and I parked far away and I
had to walk to these people. They believe they owned
the Rams, that they were the Rams, Daddy, and they
were rocking around just it was like a coro nation.
They were just it was a it was a nuisance.
(25:50):
Danny that they had to play this game, and that
they had to you know, they're gonna beat the Rams.
Who cared. I saw a guy dressed up in a
full uniform, this fat white guy dressed as Jimmy Garoppolo.
He had the full pants, the helmet, the jersey, the
whole thing. A wild seat. Um, I'm walking walking through whatever,
and uh and I it was. It was. It was great.
(26:11):
Like even I got there four hours before the game
because I wanted to watch the a f C Championship
game from there. I didn't want to deal with the traffic,
and so I got there four hours before kickoff, and
uh it was. It was gridlock. And I didn't know
really rather where to park. I just drove down Century
Boulevard and figured I'd probably find the place at some point.
I did. Uh and I actually because they took away
(26:34):
all the parking for the Super Bowl. They were getting
ready for the Super Bowl, and so they put us
in this parking structure right near the NFL network. They
have studios there. So Holy Andrews Siciliano, William mcguinnis, and
Kurt Warner Batman. I mean they're all, oh, that's where
those guys were here, So I ended up walking literally
(26:55):
one and a half miles to the media will call
to to pick up my past and the woman handling
the PR I get to the PR window and you
gotta show your driver's license and all this stuff to game,
and uh, she starts laughing and she says, well, oh
you're you're a Mallard And I said, yeah, do the
doing overnight show at Fox Sports Radio. And she says,
(27:19):
she tells the fun especially had ten minutes earlier, she
hadn't mistakenly given my credential to somebody else named Mallard,
and uh, it's like the Spider Man Mean comes live.
And so I was like, well, you know what's going on?
And uh, but you know, it was like the Spider
Man Mean. And it turns out that one of my cousins,
and I don't think I've told this story before on
radio or the podcast. One of my cousins, Danny, is
(27:41):
a very prominent senior producer at a popular tabloid TV
show in Los Angeles, and very rarely do our pass
cross because he covers entertainment and I cover sports. But
this there were a lot of celebrities that happened to
be at the Rams game, and so the tabloid TV
shows and it's a small world after all, they sent
(28:01):
him out there to document these celebrities, and so on
this day everything lined up. And his name is Carrie.
It's the same last name. He covers mostly like you know, entertainment, elections,
you know, shootings, you name fires, a cacophney of other
random things. And he actually did send me a text
(28:25):
two say that he had his you know, he when
he got his, he got my credentials. He thought it
was it was pretty funny. But then the other thing
was like it was like it was like a series
of errors, Danny, because he's texting me and I don't
talk to him that off. You know, we we used
to go to bar Missfahs and things like that when
we were kids, a little kids. And he's a little
younger than me, I believe, I think it's younger than me.
(28:47):
We're around the same age. And you know, he moved
to the Midwest and then he came back to l A.
And so we kind of lost track. We we we
reconnected a few years back, but we don't talk that often.
And so he's texting, He's like, hey, let's meet up.
You know, the photop the Mallard cousin photop. You know,
I don't have a lot of family out here, most
of them are dead. Uh So, so anyways, all right, whatever,
(29:09):
and so he's like, hey, meet me here, and I
was like, I can't get there. It turns out that
he had different access to me. He had access to
where the celebrities were, and I only was allowed like
where the press box was in the field. I could
go to the field, which was pretty cool, but I
was like, meet me down here. It couldn't meet me
um anyway. But so we just agreed to go to
dinner or something like that, and we were at the
(29:31):
same stadium but couldn't get to the same spot. And
uh so, yeah, that was I mean, he also had
different food, didn't you. Yeah, he must have. I don't.
I don't know if he even stayed for the game.
I think he was just there for the pregame and
they were I guess a lot of celebrities showed him
on TV. I didn't. I don't even know who most
(29:52):
of these people are, but I guess they're famous and
there they were there and they got the full television treatments.
So there was that. Uh one fun final thing. I know,
we're getting a little long in the tooth here on
the Saturday edition from the fifth Hour, but the ten
year old Benny's dream comes true and so As again
(30:13):
relates that when I was growing up a Rams fan,
fat little kid growing up in Orange County, and I
envisioned myself playing on the offensive line for the Rams.
Was convinced because I was fat, that I'd be on
the offensive line for the Rams. When I when I
was just gonna happen. You know, when you're a kid
through the eyes of a child, and it was wearing
(30:33):
Ram horns in my head. I was ready to go.
And of course it never quite worked out. The football
career went all the sideways on that for a myriad
a myriad of reasons did not quite go my way.
So anyway, when I was a kid, I told the
story I used to go to RAMS training camp because
I grew up in Irvine and the Rams trained at
(30:54):
you see Irvine, So my mom it's a different time.
My mom would drive me over there, dropped me off,
and I'd spent all day wandering around the campus of
use here mind really just the practice fields there, and
have very fund members of that because it was a
much softer, much softer time, I guess, uh then than
(31:16):
the way it is now. But I remember, just like
I gravitated the offensive line. There was very little security.
It was during the week. There wasn't hardly anybody there.
It's much there now you've been to training camp. I'm
sure it's like a corporate event, right, it's a whole thing.
It's marketing. And it wasn't like that, PEPSI. Yeah, it
was just about practice. And this is so long ago.
(31:36):
Back in the Bronze Age, they actually practiced twice a day.
They had morning and afternoon practice early on like hell
week NFL players. Can you imagine if they told the
NFL players that they gotta practice in the morning and
come back and practice in the afternoon, there would be upheaval.
There would be mutiny on the bounty if they did that. Anyway,
(31:56):
So they did back in those days, and it was
cool when you're a kid, because you got to go
to practice is in one day. You just had to
kill time during the middle of the day before they
came back the practice. So, you know, just gravitated the
offensive So let's jump ahead now, we move ahead in
the broadcast Danny. So from that's that's a little bit.
That's for context. So I'm at the RAM forty nine game.
I'm in the press box. I go to search for
(32:17):
my seat. It's like that, you know when you start
school and they post the classes in which classroom you
need to go to the big pain So it's like,
I don't know where I'm sitting. So I'm trying to
find my seat and abracadabra hocus poems. The Rams had
assigned me a seat in the second row. When you're
a radio guy and you get a seat in the
second row, that's big Radio's third role. Third row. Radio's radio.
(32:41):
Radio row is always like the worst part of the
press box. They hate radio. They usually spit loogie's at
radio people. But for some reason, I ended up in
the second row, like this was a big deal. Danny
Radio is usually the one talking shit about them. Yeah, exactly.
So anyway, so I'm in the second row. So I'm
sitting sitting next to me assigned by the Rams, number
(33:04):
seventy eight in your program, Yeah, number one in your heart,
the Great Jackie Slater Hall of Fame, Hall of Fame,
Offensive Lineman, Gold jacket Guy, the whole thing and a guy.
When I was a little ten year old Benny and
I got dropped off at RAM training camp. I watched
Jackie Slater. I thought I was gonna be playing with
(33:24):
Jackie Slater on the RAM offensive line. And here I
am living ten year old Benny's childhood dream because for
the next four hours, me and Jackie Slater are teammates,
were teammates in the media, and damn it, we're the
offensive line and we are there and and I'll I'll
play guard. Jackie could play in the tackle position, and uh,
(33:47):
and it was. He was very nice. I actually had
under you Jackie before on the phone, but not in
person where you know, I was feeding him stats and
he he was doing some local TV in l A. So,
but that being said, Danny, I did have one embarrassing,
my embarrassing, but awkward situation with a great Jackie Slater.
So the Rams, everyone brings up the forty niner player
(34:11):
that dropped the interception, right that, yeah, we we what's
his name, Tart? Yeah? Whatever. So the Rams also nobody
brings us up because they won the game. But there
were two dropped touchdown past and during one of them,
and I think it was the Cooper Cup one he
ended up with the touch somebody he missed a fingertip, Yes,
(34:33):
that one. So I'm sitting there and Jackie Slater lets
out this loud groan of disgust. Right now, keep in
mind the press box and Sofi Stadium is encased encased
in glass. There's no outside crowd noise, so it's kind
it's not quiet quiet because you can kind of faintly
hear the crowd a little bit, but it's not the
(34:55):
outside ambiance of the stadium. So if we freaking sportswriter,
every media person turns or you're never you're not supposed
to cheer in the press box, right and Jackie's doing
this thing. Andy one turns around and they're looking towards
me because I'm next to Jackie, and um, they didn't.
I don't think they put two and two together. It
(35:17):
was very, very awkward, but that was that was a
lot of fun. It was a good time, and I
got you talk to Jackie. He wants to do the podcast.
He's he's cool to do it. So hopefully, if all
goes well, maybe next week we'll have the great Jackie Slader.
I think it'd be appropriate with the Rams in the
in the Super Bowl. Get his perspective, yeah and everything.
So I always see him on one of the l
(35:39):
A TV stations here doing one of those sports rap shows. Yeah, yeah,
that's what he was there. It was him. It was
like if you're an old Rams fan from back in
the day, it was I saw Vince Ferragamo was sitting there,
and then Jackie Jackie Slater. So it's like nineteen late seventies,
early eighties, right around that time Rams Rams football, So
that was that was pretty neat. So it's pretty cool,
(36:02):
and I think that's it right that we put the
baby to bed for now. I was gonna do some
pop quiz, but I think we've gone a little long
on this. And so Ben, how nuts did the male
dancers go on the Ram field after the big win? Yeah?
I know, Danny. Of all the things the Rams have
done over the years, you will not when it comes
to the male cheerleaders. And so are your favorite topics? Man?
(36:25):
Uh you know, listen, no one's perfect. Humans are fallible
and uh you know it all day and ram it
all night. The Rams took that theme song too, seriously. Yeah,
they didn't ask me my perspective on that. But you
know it's I guess I don't know, is that I
candy for the women, I candy for the gay guys.
(36:47):
I don't know what whatether into. Knock yourself out. I
was more focused on the ladies. But there's a little
bit for everything. Yeah, when I've heard about those male cheering,
remember I think, were you with me when that happened?
Was yeah, you anthem about it? Yeah it was Yeah,
that was my reaction when I found out about that. Anyway,
have a great rest your Saturday. We've got a mail bag,
(37:08):
big mail bag on Sunday. Looking forward to that, and
there's nothing else for the you know, you know, a
Pro Bowl weekend and Pro Bowl with speaking of the
Death Star, that's where the Pro Bowl is happening Sunday. Yeah,
congratulations to your lambs. Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
And I really feel bad, though, Danny for the trolls
because they every week they get so excited. They were
(37:29):
worked into a lather. They were convinced, Danny, when the
Niners had a ten point lead going to the fourth
quarter they were going to be winners. Who We're going
to the Super Bowl, We're the Niners. Instead, Ben was
doing his chocolate he wasted dance at the candy bar.
I was loving that, I I flashed back to fat Benny.
(37:52):
I was, yeah, I was really enjoying that. But I
only I only ate like a like a pig for
two hours and then I cut it down. So I
feel like, all things considered, because back in the old days, Danny,
I would have eaten literally for six consecutive hours. Yeah,
I mean, I stuffed your pockets. You would have wrapped
(38:12):
things in napkins. There would have been leftover food stuffed
in your computer bag. Oh exactly exactly. It was like,
you know, it was like getting the daily double. And
I was like, hey, al right, uh yeah, anyway, it'd
be well and stay safe and all that good stuff
will catch you on the mail bag on Sunday. Bye bye,
Folation
Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
as we are starting a brand new Saturday on the
Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard and Danny G. Because four
hours a night or not enough and this podcast now
(00:43):
eight days a week. Well kind of the radio show podcast,
which is a version of a podcast because they they
molded into the podcast format. But here we are. I
know you're very excited about that. Myself, Ben Mallock, the
Great Danny G Radio back from Lost Weight, just Nevada
and here he is. Unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up, Ben?
(01:06):
I got my NASA snap back hat on and I'm
ready to do some rocket science on this show. Yeah.
I want you to know I'm wearing right now. Do
you know what hat I'm where you can see me
right now? Is that the Philadelphia A's hut, no, no,
try again. Guest number two, what do you think. Let's
see that is the Antelope Valley ant eaters. There you go,
(01:27):
you got that right. Amazing job, unless unfortunately that is
not correct. But the the answer is this is a
Arkansas razorbacks hat that one of our great podcast listeners
sent in and I I like it. I don't normally
wear hats with a's on them, because I only like
(01:49):
hats with the B for Ben or M for for Mallard.
But this is such a cool hat. It's an exemption.
I got a few hats that I wrote work in
my rotation that don't have the M or BE on them,
but this is one of them. Is a good hat,
very large, a one of the biggest letters I've seen
in a hat. I got it all over me. Anyway,
(02:09):
on this edition of the podcast here the fifth hour,
we first of all want to beg you to please
give a good review, not a bad review, a good
review five stars, five stars. Again, people say, why does
it matter who the hell reads those things? And I
agree with you. I think a normal person would not
(02:32):
read those things. But you gott understand we have management
and they have a lot of time on their hands
and so they read those things and it doesn't make
any sense to me. But again that that's just an
easy way to help us and do us a solid
and would certainly certainly be great if you could do that. Again,
that's on the mainly the Apple page, right, Danny, isn't
(02:52):
that the main one for the podcast review? It is? Yeah,
that's where you find the review capabilities. Yeah, so please
say yes no no, you know I said say yes,
not no. If you disagree with something Ben says on
the podcast, feel free to give a two star review. No, no, no, no,
because if you believe that I've said anything incorrect, I mean,
(03:15):
what's wrong with you? Have you noticed that I love
this toy that I have to access to It's just amazing. No,
I haven't noticed, not at all. Right. Yeah, I did
add a few more bells and whistles this week to
make it make it more exciting. Yeah. Can you imagine
if you had this available on your live show? Yeah? Well,
(03:37):
I've told I've told the story. Did I think I
told you? Years ago? When I was first started, I worked,
I started San Diego and I got my first real
talk show. Break was in l A and we had
those the replay machines. Wheah. They were called instant replay machines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly,
the really expensive old technology compared to now you can
(04:00):
do everything on your phone now. But I had that
and I, oh, I love that machine so much. Oh
my god, it was awesome. Uh everything, I just hit
all the buttons after and I hit the rim shot
after everything, and that was the funniest out. And my
program director, this guy Bo Bennett, came running in. He
(04:21):
was not a fan of my use of the replay machine,
and he literally in the middle of a segment I
was talking. I was on the show with this guy
named David Smith, and they pulled the replay machine out.
He was so upset. There were cables attached to it,
either power and then there was another connected to the board,
the engineering board, and he just ripped that thing out
(04:42):
and its stormed out of the studio and that was
that was the end of the replay machine for me.
So yeah, this is like a special treat anyway, in
this edition the Saturday podcast, and he has the weekend
and all that there's no football this weekend, waiting Super
Bowl weeks coming up, and all about the Oh Bowl,
Like I said, there's no football going on this weekend.
(05:04):
Uh so, But but we do have we do have
tales from our lives, tales from what what? What? What
better content than random stories? It's storytime. Everyone loves a
good story. Then, you know, in advertising these days, the
people who make commercials have determined that the way to
get people to spend money is to tell a store.
(05:24):
It's like restaurants. Have you gone to it was the
last time you to a restaurant, Like a chain restaurant.
They didn't have the story of how the restaurants started,
and you know that, you know they were poor, and
they know the moms recipe with whatever it might be.
And they all do it because they have market research
that claims that people love that stuff and it causes
them to go to support whatever that might be. More. Now,
(05:49):
I'm not saying that you're gonna support this podcast more,
but we just we we're just here too, schmooz. Right,
So we're doing so on this podcast, We've got dress rehearsal,
the Death Star, these tighter Man meme comes to life,
and ten year old Benny's dream come true. All of
those year old Benny you know exactly. Uh So, I
(06:11):
wanted to start with this. Now. As you know, Danny,
I don't get out of the Mallard mansion much anymore,
this being the COVID era of our lives. And I
do not like the bullshit that you have to go
through to go anywhere, and a lot of red tape.
I can't stand it. Drives me not. I think a
lot of it is just for show and it doesn't
(06:33):
accomplish anything. If I believe it accomplished something, I would
be all in on it. I think it's just for,
you know, just for people to say, oh, look at me,
I'm virtue signaling. I can't stand it. So uh you know,
the fact I have to go to a football game
and show my papers to cover a football game, it
just blows me away. Uh, it's insane to me. I
do appear to be in the minority though, because I
(06:54):
don't think many people are not going to these things.
But so I had been a staple for like twenty
five plus years of my life at these sporting events,
and now in this year of my life, last three
years two, it's rare and appropriate. I still go out.
(07:14):
I'll go to a Dodger playoff game or a RAM game. Everyone,
but it's rare and appropriate. And the the NFC Championship
game got me to leave my house and I didn't
make it in and we were talking about that on
the podcast and I was like, well, am I gonna go?
And I one the reason I said, am I gonna go?
Not gonna go? Because I was like, well, you know,
the traffic and the the bullshit. But I ended up
doing it, and I'm glad I did. I went to
(07:36):
Sopi Stadium in the hood in Inglewood. How scared were
you with that interception that was in the Niner players hands? Well,
you got to complete the play and he didn't complete
the play, So bat job by him. That's that's the difference, right,
It's just like, yeah, I don't know what his first
(07:58):
name is, but that listen that through the David Tyree catch, great,
great catch people love. I think it was a bull
bull crap catch. But he drops that much different conversation, right,
We're having a much different conversation. Patriots had the perfect
was that the perfect year? But I don't know if
that was even the perfect year. I think that was
a different year. But no, we're having a different conversation
(08:20):
about this, and instead of you know, goofing on Brady
for losing to Eli. A couple of times, we're playing
the sad violin, like how did you lose that game?
It's wrong with you, shame on you anyway. Now, were
you in the beautiful media box? I was? I was
so uh and uh you know this, it was a
long weekend. Uh. You know, there's a lot of stuff
(08:42):
going on in that. But world class operation tip of
the microphone to the rams. I mean that is my god.
I was able to get a taste any of the
super Bowl experience. As you know, the super Bowl is
only for the cool people. And I'm not a cool
and you know you're part of me. Now you're cool,
but I'm you're with me, so you're not cool. So
(09:05):
uh but the super Bowl for like the media elites,
you know, the top one percent of media. And most
of the people that cover the super Bowl don't actually
go to the game. It's a dirty little secret. They
have to watch on television or they don't. Even a
lot of the radio people that come out and cover
the super Bowl they go back. They don't even stay
for the game because they don't have access to access
is limit anyway. Uh So it was out there got
(09:27):
their taste the super Bowl experience that why is that
not not just because it was the same stadium as
super Bowl is gonna be next weekend, But the forty
niner RAM game was a preview of coming attractings. What
I mean by that I was told by a source,
shall we say, that the hospitality staff it's so Fi
(09:49):
stadium treated that game like a dress rehearsal, that they
were using that game as a model for what they
were gonna do in the super Bowl. Which what did
that mean for for me? What does that mean for
the media? That meant for us freeloading in the media.
We were treated like kings. We were treated like the
one percenters who are actually gonna be at the super Bowl.
(10:12):
And so it was like a heavyweight boxing match. When
I looked at all the food was let's go, here
we go. I'm gonna box box the food right now, man,
I'm ready to go. There was food in the air everywhere.
They had a pregame meal chicken catch A tory said
that right there was a pasta dish potatoes, veggies that
(10:34):
wasn't really my jam. I didn't go for that, Danny
h But they had a candy bar, you know, like
an open candy bar. They had oh my god, Eminem's.
They had the Hershey Bars, both regular and almond. They
had a chocolate side and then the other side. They
had like gummy stuff all right, so sweet and sour.
(10:56):
I didn't see they had a brownie table of brownies, cookies,
had soda bar. I didn't see any booze. There was water,
bottled water, healthy snacks. They had a salad bar. I
stayed away from that, Danny. I stayed ten feet. I
was socially distancing from the salad bar. End up. But
(11:16):
I did not I was I was fasting. I did
not actually eat any of the meal, any of the
food before the game. I waited, damn this veteran move.
Veteran move. I waited till halftime. And the reason I
waited at halftime they had more bend friendly foods at halftime,
so they I'm talking to the third person. They had
more food that was more my jam. At halftime. That's
(11:40):
when they pulled out just ram it many sliders, delicious
little cheeseburgers, uh pepper chicken wings, unfortunately, bone in tater tots,
curly fries, onion rings, and there was some other stuff,
but that's all I focused on nice and so I
hit that hard, just ram it hit. That was a
(12:03):
wonderful corner copia of just deliciousness, and I loved it.
And again I was told that it's the same set
up they're gonna have Super Bowl. It's not gonna be
any different. And so I got to experience that, and
I'm grateful it was. It was a lot of fun.
So I had a good time out there. And I
have some other stories that will tell later on some
things that happened to me randomly while I was was
(12:27):
out at the the Rams game with the fourtane So
I was I was doing that. You were hanging out
in Lost Wages, Nevada before we get to the desk Star.
Did you do in a game? No? But my tender
RONI did she win any money? She did, and then
at the end of the trip that got it back.
(12:48):
But she brought three hundred in cash to gamble with.
That was her budget, Okay, So she was like, Okay,
I have three hundred dollars and twenty dollar bills. That's
gonna be what I gamble with at the slot machine.
She loves that wheel of Fortune machine. That's her machine.
That's her jam. My wife likes that Wolf Run. Okay,
you've seen that one. She thinks that's a lucky machine.
(13:12):
I don't agree with that. But yeah, she sits down
at the wheel of fortune machine and she puts five
dollar bets at a time. That's a lot. That's a
bet on a slot machine. Yeah, some people do dimes
and pennies and nickels, and nope, she plays five dollars
at a time, Go bigger, go home, okay. And her
first twenty dollar bill, she turned it into a hundred
(13:33):
and twenty six bucks. Now the movie, and let me
ask you if she did what I what I would
advise you hit a hunter your So she's up a
buck twenty right at that point, take the buck twenty,
put it away back three. That's what I would do that,
I said. Okay, cash out, you're out. Yes, Yes, that's
(13:54):
the move, Danny. Cash out. She did. She turned it
into a ticket, which I posted on my two her
account last weekend. So she carried around that one six
dollar ticket all weekend. But she continued to play the
rest of the cash that she had in her purse.
I couldn't tell what she had one and what she
(14:15):
had lost because she had a combination of tickets and
spare change just moving around from her wallet to her
purse to her pocket. Everything had been joined together as
everything was in a jumbled I got it. That's the
whole purse. Let me tell the purse in theory. A
great idea, but everything gets all mixed together. You don't
(14:37):
even know, right, it's it's every Every purse has got
to be like that. Yeah. By the end of the weekend,
she counted what she had in tickets and it was
three hundred dollars. So she said, hey, this is good.
I address myself. I'm even right now to her credit.
On the last day we were there, on Sunday, she
won twenty bucks on her way out, so she left up.
(15:00):
Want to eat dollars? That's good, it's not bad. She
basically did all that gambling to win twenty bucks and
get a sore throat from all of the cigarette smoke.
Oh yeah, that's that's that's one of the few places
left the western part of the United States where that
is allowed. Man, what is up with all of the
people smoking cigarettes there and blowing it in your face? Yeah?
(15:25):
I wonder are these people because we live in California,
where you're not really allowed to smoke anywhere. Do these
people just smoke because they went in Vegas, act like
you're in Vegas? Or do these people actually smoked year round?
I because I don't see a lot of people smoking
anymore because it's been banned everywhere pretty much. Yeah, like
you said, we don't see it anywhere where we live.
(15:47):
And it's funny because she asked me that same question
when we saw a cigar bar and guys were standing
out in front of that blowing all the cigar smoke
in other people's faces. And that's a step bup of
nasty and um at the Caesar's Palace, that's where that was.
But literally, you walked past somebody and they look at
(16:08):
you and they blow the cigarettes smoke right at your face. Yeah,
a bunch of assholes, pretty much. And I told her,
I said, no, these are people who supposedly quit smoking cigarettes,
but when they go to Vegas they let it all
hang out. So there are a smoker again. Yeah, you
(16:29):
fall back, and do you smell anything else there while
you were in Vegas? Yeah? The strip? Yeah, the Strip
smelled like a hundred coups. There was an infestation of
skunks that somehow attacked the Vegas strip. I don't know
how that is. It's unbelievable. Did you stop and see
the Belage deal fountains Spliff City? Uh No, didn't look
(16:53):
at the fountains. I think we've seen that before. But
we did get to stay at the Palazzo, which was nice.
That is a good hotel. Yeah, it's a good. Look
at you you're a baller, of course, connected to the Venetian. Basically,
just got to walk around those two properties. Across the
(17:14):
street to Caesar is a little bit. You know. We
were at the baseball field for a lot of the
daytime Saturday and Sunday, so it was more nighttime action
in late afternoon action where we were actually at a casino.
That's cool. Yeah, I've not been to Vegas, but I'm
supposed to go to Vegas, I think later this month.
I possibly tentatively scheduled the Good to Vegas later in
(17:37):
the month of February, but I haven't been there since
COVID thing. So I went right before COVID and that
was that was that. But this thing never seems to end,
just keeps going on. And on and on. How busy
it was Vegas because a pack it was packed. It
was I would say about of the people there wore masks,
(17:59):
but it's not a choir like in California. It's more like,
if you want to that is it a rule you
have to wear the mask. Here it seemed like it
was a rule inside but obviously not outside. Okay, yeah,
because it's so far You know the how the the
governor of California keeps mandating mask that wasn't even wearing
a mask. All these these Hollywood a holes who were
(18:22):
telling everyone to wear masks. We're not wearing masks. Saw
that already infamous picture with Magic Johnson. Yeah, that's it was.
It was ridiculous. But yeah, I can go on and
on that. So you ended up at the Death Star,
the Legendary Raiders Stadium. There um beautiful looks like on television.
(18:43):
Never been there. Did it live up to your expectations? Yeah,
beyond impressive. I kind of knew what to expect going
in because I followed along the whole time it was
being built on YouTube. There was a cool special called
from the ground Up with Mike Rowe. Oh I gotta
check that. Us on YouTube. Yes, I love Micro. We
(19:05):
gotta try to get Micro on the podcast. Very cool dude.
If you don't know who we're talking about. He's the
host of the World's Dirtiest Jobs, Dirty Jobs on Discovery. Yeah,
I love love Micro. Dude's got one of the best
narrator of voices in the business. He narrates this series
where they literally from the first shovel in the ground
(19:27):
until they unveil the completed Death Star. He takes you
through the entire process and to watch them spend billions
of dollars and to see how much technology and everything
goes into this new stadium that they sped up because
they wanted to get it done for that season, which
(19:48):
wound up getting canceled for fans because of COVID. But
this was a five year project that they rushed into
three and a half years, and so to watch them
works seven been days a week around the clock. Now
to be able to go there in person last weekend
and actually see it with my own eyes and walk
(20:08):
through the hallways and get on the field see all
of the art installations throughout the building. That was the
one thing that stood out to me, the attention to detail.
Ben ridiculous there. I mean, everything precise and perfect and
just a masterpiece. Yeah, that's cool. It does look realize.
(20:30):
So you did the actual stadium tour, right, you did that.
I had a buddy of mine that lives in Vegas
who said, you gotta do that. It's the coolest thing.
They take you everywhere and you can get a photo
and the whole thing, like from I guess from a
distance they zoom in. I don't know what they do.
They take you to where our friend Brent Musburger and
Lincoln Kennedy sit during the game. And then they also
(20:53):
take you to Mark Davis's personal suite that you get
a view from there. Did they give you the Mark
Davis hair cut? Did they give you that that bowl cut?
Is that part of the deal? I asked one of
the tour guides if there was a barbershop for Mark
Davis there, and he just laughed, So I think the
answer was no. Well, not only that, but the where's
(21:14):
he Where's is the PF Change he hangs out at? Yeah,
p F Change is his favorite spot. There's one right
there on the strip, not far from the stadium. Yeah,
all right, so you made the rounds. What was your
favorite part? Was it the locker room, was the press box?
Was it just being in the tunnels underneath? Like? What
was the coolest part? I would have to say the
(21:34):
Hall of Fame row. They did a great job on that,
and the raider ats shiny new facility. Hello, he's a
lovely lady in my apologies tour my Tinda Rowning took
a picture of herself in the mirror there as she
is my raider at And it's funny because they have
(21:55):
a tour guide in the front who's doing all the talking. Yeah, yeah, up,
and then there's just one guy trailing in the back
whose sole job is to be the caboose of the train.
And so we were straggling the whole time so we
could get the better pictures without strangers in the shots.
He just kept telling us, Oh, it's all good as
(22:17):
long as I'm the last one. You're good, You're good.
So they were. Was he also worried somebody was gonna be,
you know, sneak away and and uh hide out in
the stadium or something like that. Was that really were
worried about? Yeah? Probably, um, you know, because he looked
very nervous. His head was on a swivel inside Mr
Davis's suite, and I was thinking it was someone gonna
(22:38):
do like sleeping here until the next game. But once
we got to where the raidar ats are very cool.
It was like a raidar At museum. I mean, it
showed what the raidar ats looked like in the sixties
and there was it was like a museum of their
uniforms throughout the seasons. The tour guide in the back
told us that his favorite raidar At was Mackenzie. We
(23:00):
went and looked and she was all right, but he
was like, yeah, forget Beyonce, I got to meet her.
She's bad. He was telling us how he would cheat
on her even though he's engaged, he would cheat on
his fiance with Mackenzie. And so we had a good
time laughing at this guy's jokes and we were making
him laugh. We were the end of the train there,
(23:21):
and so that made the tour extra fund the fact
that we didn't follow directions and we didn't really listen
to the lady that was talking at the front of
the tour. Yeah, so she was droning on and on
and on, and you were just kind of enjoying the
sights and the stuff. We were in the back goofing around,
were like the kids goofing around on the field trip. Yeah, well, good,
(23:42):
good for you. That's the proper way to have a
stadium tour. I would agree with that. All right. So
now you've seen this, Now you gotta go to a game, right,
that's the next step. You gotta go to a game
there next year. That is the next step you talked
about so far at the top of the podcast. I've
been there. Very very cool stadium, but very steep. You're
(24:02):
not a man of the people when it comes to
rams games, so you don't understand. But but Ben, when
you actually sit in a section there, not up in
the in the high falutin breast box, yeah, oh my god,
it's so steep that if you slightly tripped, you fall
down this toilet bowl to your death. Well, I don't
(24:24):
like that. I'm not I'm not a fan of steep.
That was the one thing I liked better about Vegas
than so far was you didn't have that steepness going
on with the sections there. Yeah. Did they have a
lake in front of the stadium in Vegas like they
do in my tinder? Rooney's son said, Okay, you guys
have seen both now, so what what do you think.
(24:46):
What's the biggest difference between the two stadiums. We both
said the same thing. We like the inside of the
Death Start better. We like the outside of so Far better.
If Vegas is the Death Star, are so Far as
Jurassic Park? Yeah, it's it's crazy. It's like this weird. Uh.
(25:07):
It's right in the middle of Englewood, which is not
a great neighborhood in l A, that part of of
l A. And it's just amazing, like popped up, not
out of nowhere, out of five billion dollars, but craziness
all right, because I have the Spider Man meme becomes reality.
So back to the trip to SOFI over the weekend.
(25:29):
A lot of red tape, as I said, mass police
all that stuff, A bunch of boozing forty Niner fans
who walked through there before the game. Danny and I
had to walk and I parked far away and I
had to walk to these people. They believe they owned
the Rams, that they were the Rams, Daddy, and they
were rocking around just it was like a coro nation.
They were just it was a it was a nuisance.
(25:50):
Danny that they had to play this game, and that
they had to you know, they're gonna beat the Rams.
Who cared. I saw a guy dressed up in a
full uniform, this fat white guy dressed as Jimmy Garoppolo.
He had the full pants, the helmet, the jersey, the
whole thing. A wild seat. Um, I'm walking walking through whatever,
and uh and I it was. It was. It was great.
(26:11):
Like even I got there four hours before the game
because I wanted to watch the a f C Championship
game from there. I didn't want to deal with the traffic,
and so I got there four hours before kickoff, and
uh it was. It was gridlock. And I didn't know
really rather where to park. I just drove down Century
Boulevard and figured I'd probably find the place at some point.
I did. Uh and I actually because they took away
(26:34):
all the parking for the Super Bowl. They were getting
ready for the Super Bowl, and so they put us
in this parking structure right near the NFL network. They
have studios there. So Holy Andrews Siciliano, William mcguinnis, and
Kurt Warner Batman. I mean they're all, oh, that's where
those guys were here, So I ended up walking literally
(26:55):
one and a half miles to the media will call
to to pick up my past and the woman handling
the PR I get to the PR window and you
gotta show your driver's license and all this stuff to game,
and uh, she starts laughing and she says, well, oh
you're you're a Mallard And I said, yeah, do the
doing overnight show at Fox Sports Radio. And she says,
(27:19):
she tells the fun especially had ten minutes earlier, she
hadn't mistakenly given my credential to somebody else named Mallard,
and uh, it's like the Spider Man Mean comes live.
And so I was like, well, you know what's going on?
And uh, but you know, it was like the Spider
Man Mean. And it turns out that one of my cousins,
and I don't think I've told this story before on
radio or the podcast. One of my cousins, Danny, is
(27:41):
a very prominent senior producer at a popular tabloid TV
show in Los Angeles, and very rarely do our pass
cross because he covers entertainment and I cover sports. But
this there were a lot of celebrities that happened to
be at the Rams game, and so the tabloid TV
shows and it's a small world after all, they sent
(28:01):
him out there to document these celebrities, and so on
this day everything lined up. And his name is Carrie.
It's the same last name. He covers mostly like you know, entertainment, elections,
you know, shootings, you name fires, a cacophney of other
random things. And he actually did send me a text
(28:25):
two say that he had his you know, he when
he got his, he got my credentials. He thought it
was it was pretty funny. But then the other thing
was like it was like it was like a series
of errors, Danny, because he's texting me and I don't
talk to him that off. You know, we we used
to go to bar Missfahs and things like that when
we were kids, a little kids. And he's a little
younger than me, I believe, I think it's younger than me.
(28:47):
We're around the same age. And you know, he moved
to the Midwest and then he came back to l A.
And so we kind of lost track. We we we
reconnected a few years back, but we don't talk that often.
And so he's texting, He's like, hey, let's meet up.
You know, the photop the Mallard cousin photop. You know,
I don't have a lot of family out here, most
of them are dead. Uh So, so anyways, all right, whatever,
(29:09):
and so he's like, hey, meet me here, and I
was like, I can't get there. It turns out that
he had different access to me. He had access to
where the celebrities were, and I only was allowed like
where the press box was in the field. I could
go to the field, which was pretty cool, but I
was like, meet me down here. It couldn't meet me
um anyway. But so we just agreed to go to
dinner or something like that, and we were at the
(29:31):
same stadium but couldn't get to the same spot. And
uh so, yeah, that was I mean, he also had
different food, didn't you. Yeah, he must have. I don't.
I don't know if he even stayed for the game.
I think he was just there for the pregame and
they were I guess a lot of celebrities showed him
on TV. I didn't. I don't even know who most
(29:52):
of these people are, but I guess they're famous and
there they were there and they got the full television treatments.
So there was that. Uh one fun final thing. I know,
we're getting a little long in the tooth here on
the Saturday edition from the fifth Hour, but the ten
year old Benny's dream comes true and so As again
(30:13):
relates that when I was growing up a Rams fan,
fat little kid growing up in Orange County, and I
envisioned myself playing on the offensive line for the Rams.
Was convinced because I was fat, that I'd be on
the offensive line for the Rams. When I when I
was just gonna happen. You know, when you're a kid
through the eyes of a child, and it was wearing
(30:33):
Ram horns in my head. I was ready to go.
And of course it never quite worked out. The football
career went all the sideways on that for a myriad
a myriad of reasons did not quite go my way.
So anyway, when I was a kid, I told the
story I used to go to RAMS training camp because
I grew up in Irvine and the Rams trained at
(30:54):
you see Irvine, So my mom it's a different time.
My mom would drive me over there, dropped me off,
and I'd spent all day wandering around the campus of
use here mind really just the practice fields there, and
have very fund members of that because it was a
much softer, much softer time, I guess, uh then than
(31:16):
the way it is now. But I remember, just like
I gravitated the offensive line. There was very little security.
It was during the week. There wasn't hardly anybody there.
It's much there now you've been to training camp. I'm
sure it's like a corporate event, right, it's a whole thing.
It's marketing. And it wasn't like that, PEPSI. Yeah, it
was just about practice. And this is so long ago.
(31:36):
Back in the Bronze Age, they actually practiced twice a day.
They had morning and afternoon practice early on like hell
week NFL players. Can you imagine if they told the
NFL players that they gotta practice in the morning and
come back and practice in the afternoon, there would be upheaval.
There would be mutiny on the bounty if they did that. Anyway,
(31:56):
So they did back in those days, and it was
cool when you're a kid, because you got to go
to practice is in one day. You just had to
kill time during the middle of the day before they
came back the practice. So, you know, just gravitated the
offensive So let's jump ahead now, we move ahead in
the broadcast Danny. So from that's that's a little bit.
That's for context. So I'm at the RAM forty nine game.
I'm in the press box. I go to search for
(32:17):
my seat. It's like that, you know when you start
school and they post the classes in which classroom you
need to go to the big pain So it's like,
I don't know where I'm sitting. So I'm trying to
find my seat and abracadabra hocus poems. The Rams had
assigned me a seat in the second row. When you're
a radio guy and you get a seat in the
second row, that's big Radio's third role. Third row. Radio's radio.
(32:41):
Radio row is always like the worst part of the
press box. They hate radio. They usually spit loogie's at
radio people. But for some reason, I ended up in
the second row, like this was a big deal. Danny
Radio is usually the one talking shit about them. Yeah, exactly.
So anyway, so I'm in the second row. So I'm
sitting sitting next to me assigned by the Rams, number
(33:04):
seventy eight in your program, Yeah, number one in your heart,
the Great Jackie Slater Hall of Fame, Hall of Fame,
Offensive Lineman, Gold jacket Guy, the whole thing and a guy.
When I was a little ten year old Benny and
I got dropped off at RAM training camp. I watched
Jackie Slater. I thought I was gonna be playing with
(33:24):
Jackie Slater on the RAM offensive line. And here I
am living ten year old Benny's childhood dream because for
the next four hours, me and Jackie Slater are teammates,
were teammates in the media, and damn it, we're the
offensive line and we are there and and I'll I'll
play guard. Jackie could play in the tackle position, and uh,
(33:47):
and it was. He was very nice. I actually had
under you Jackie before on the phone, but not in
person where you know, I was feeding him stats and
he he was doing some local TV in l A. So,
but that being said, Danny, I did have one embarrassing,
my embarrassing, but awkward situation with a great Jackie Slater.
So the Rams, everyone brings up the forty niner player
(34:11):
that dropped the interception, right that, yeah, we we what's
his name, Tart? Yeah? Whatever. So the Rams also nobody
brings us up because they won the game. But there
were two dropped touchdown past and during one of them,
and I think it was the Cooper Cup one he
ended up with the touch somebody he missed a fingertip, Yes,
(34:33):
that one. So I'm sitting there and Jackie Slater lets
out this loud groan of disgust. Right now, keep in
mind the press box and Sofi Stadium is encased encased
in glass. There's no outside crowd noise, so it's kind
it's not quiet quiet because you can kind of faintly
hear the crowd a little bit, but it's not the
(34:55):
outside ambiance of the stadium. So if we freaking sportswriter,
every media person turns or you're never you're not supposed
to cheer in the press box, right and Jackie's doing
this thing. Andy one turns around and they're looking towards
me because I'm next to Jackie, and um, they didn't.
I don't think they put two and two together. It
(35:17):
was very, very awkward, but that was that was a
lot of fun. It was a good time, and I
got you talk to Jackie. He wants to do the podcast.
He's he's cool to do it. So hopefully, if all
goes well, maybe next week we'll have the great Jackie Slader.
I think it'd be appropriate with the Rams in the
in the Super Bowl. Get his perspective, yeah and everything.
So I always see him on one of the l
(35:39):
A TV stations here doing one of those sports rap shows. Yeah, yeah,
that's what he was there. It was him. It was
like if you're an old Rams fan from back in
the day, it was I saw Vince Ferragamo was sitting there,
and then Jackie Jackie Slater. So it's like nineteen late seventies,
early eighties, right around that time Rams Rams football, So
that was that was pretty neat. So it's pretty cool,
(36:02):
and I think that's it right that we put the
baby to bed for now. I was gonna do some
pop quiz, but I think we've gone a little long
on this. And so Ben, how nuts did the male
dancers go on the Ram field after the big win? Yeah?
I know, Danny. Of all the things the Rams have
done over the years, you will not when it comes
to the male cheerleaders. And so are your favorite topics? Man?
(36:25):
Uh you know, listen, no one's perfect. Humans are fallible
and uh you know it all day and ram it
all night. The Rams took that theme song too, seriously. Yeah,
they didn't ask me my perspective on that. But you
know it's I guess I don't know, is that I
candy for the women, I candy for the gay guys.
(36:47):
I don't know what whatether into. Knock yourself out. I
was more focused on the ladies. But there's a little
bit for everything. Yeah, when I've heard about those male cheering,
remember I think, were you with me when that happened?
Was yeah, you anthem about it? Yeah it was Yeah,
that was my reaction when I found out about that. Anyway,
have a great rest your Saturday. We've got a mail bag,
(37:08):
big mail bag on Sunday. Looking forward to that, and
there's nothing else for the you know, you know, a
Pro Bowl weekend and Pro Bowl with speaking of the
Death Star, that's where the Pro Bowl is happening Sunday. Yeah,
congratulations to your lambs. Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
And I really feel bad, though, Danny for the trolls
because they every week they get so excited. They were
(37:29):
worked into a lather. They were convinced, Danny, when the
Niners had a ten point lead going to the fourth
quarter they were going to be winners. Who We're going
to the Super Bowl, We're the Niners. Instead, Ben was
doing his chocolate he wasted dance at the candy bar.
I was loving that, I I flashed back to fat Benny.
(37:52):
I was, yeah, I was really enjoying that. But I
only I only ate like a like a pig for
two hours and then I cut it down. So I
feel like, all things considered, because back in the old days, Danny,
I would have eaten literally for six consecutive hours. Yeah,
I mean, I stuffed your pockets. You would have wrapped
(38:12):
things in napkins. There would have been leftover food stuffed
in your computer bag. Oh exactly exactly. It was like,
you know, it was like getting the daily double. And
I was like, hey, al right, uh yeah, anyway, it'd
be well and stay safe and all that good stuff
will catch you on the mail bag on Sunday. Bye bye,
Folation
Host
Ben Maller
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