March 13, 2022 • 56 mins
Ben Maller is in the podcast studio with Danny G. to have some fun with the mail bag, answering select P1 questions from the #MallerMilitia on this edition! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ka Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of
Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
on a Sunday, Sunday Sunday Another additionally, Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny g is upon us. Your dreams
have come true. No days off and Danny an amazing
(00:49):
story told on the Saturday podcast that your Tenderoni enjoyed
a Robert Kraft level massage that you provided her as
a gif if and tremendous reaction reaction to that podcast.
But quite the story. Quite something tells me that next
(01:09):
week she's gonna ask me to choke her for the
first time. And uh, but you know, you have to
play the role of the masseuse. You have to play
the have to recreate the magical massage, and that's the
way that's gonna go. But this is the Sunday Podcast,
and people have been complaining we haven't gotten enough questions.
So when anybody complains, Danny, you know what I say.
(01:31):
I said, okay, five, we'll get to today have questions.
Here we go hit that button. Thanks to ohio Al
who sent that in. It gets played every week about
this time on the podcast, and we are off to
(01:52):
the races. These are actual questions sent in by actual
listeners to the fifth hour. These are not fake. We
don't make these questions up. Sometimes we panic we don't
get enough questions. But we haven't had that problem in
a while. And anytime I have that problem, Danny, I
just I just complained to Alf the animal pine er,
and Alf signals the bugle, and then we get too
(02:15):
many questions. That's usually how that goes. But let's get
to it all right. First one, it comes from Chris
from Falling Waters, West Virginia. Is that a real place?
That sounds like a neat place, falling Waters, West Virginia.
You pisted into falling waters at Madonna in That's that's right. Uh,
Chris says, what was the most trouble you got into
(02:37):
for something that happened while you were on the air.
So we get a version of this question semi often,
Danny and I. I'm still working at the company, so
I can't get into too much detail, but I have.
I have gotten in trouble with a commissioner's office in
one of the major sports for a ranted I did.
I think we kind of talked about that, didn't we.
We get into that a little bit on the Yeah, yeah,
(02:59):
with Major League Baseball got very upset with me over
some things that I said on the air, which to me, uh,
my my position is they should be happy that anybody
doing a syndicated sports show is willing to talk about baseball,
no matter what they say, right, no matter. I mean,
strike up the organ, Danny, I mean I want that
that that that that that that that that you know,
(03:22):
I have talking baseball and there could playing so that
that happened. I've gotten in trouble for some jokes that
I made on the air that people had no sense
of humor and did not like. Uh, there was one
in particular, there was a there was a bacon joke
(03:44):
that I used to tell that got me in trouble.
I can't get into that right now. And usually usually
the times we get in trouble, Danny are when we
mentioned sponsors in a negative light, not realizing their sponsors.
That's usually what creates a fire, or if it is
known that it's a sponsor and the host still makes
(04:04):
fun of copy or something like that. Clay Travis got
us in trouble on that show one time because he
was making fun of a movie that was coming out.
They were a sponsor on the network, and the copy
was written really horribly. His take was, who the hell
wrote this? And this movie sounds like it sucks, you know.
(04:28):
Needless to say, they did not like that, called into
the principal's office, and on your show, you and I
got called into the principal's office together one night on
the air. We were all joking about a co worker.
Oh yes, and say who, because we've apologized. It really
(04:49):
was just joking, but I mean we said some things
that I guess somebody snitched and told him. He went
back and listened to the podcast and was offended by
what we said. That was the worst part of it.
Like we were just kidding around, you know, doing a
locker room talk as our former president would say, and
(05:11):
you know it's like, hey, we all need to laugh. Yeah,
So we're just having a good time and then the
person in question did not even hear it. There was
a weasel. I don't know who, but somebody leaked the
goods there, you little weasel. Yeah, that's not right. A
(05:33):
weasel will hear us. And and sometimes they're like, why
don't you guys just relax and joke and talk more
freely and honest, I'll tell you why, because whenever we
do that, if we talk about somebody else, some people
will go running to that person that was talked about. Yeah,
suddenly now you're in a heavyweight fight. And you know,
(05:54):
I was just doing a bit on the radio. That's
all I was doing. I was. There was nothing else
than that. I was just doing it. Snitches get stitches.
Was that that's that? I forgot about that one? Yeah,
that we got the phone call. You always try to
avoid the phone call. You don't want the phone call
where they call you up. And especially yeah, you'll see
when it's a conference call with five people on the line, Yeah,
(06:18):
and three of them you have no idea who they are.
You don't even know. They're like, what what is that?
And you're like, well, it's exactly here's HR and the
company's attorney on the conference. You know, you're I got
in trouble. Also, I'm trying to think a lot. I've
been doing this a long time, so Chris has been
a lot of things. I probably forgetting most of them.
(06:38):
But uh, we we got a cease and assist letter
from the Jeopardy people. We were doing Sports Jeopardy. I've
done Sports Jeopardy on the show for years, and probably
about ten years ago, they said you can't use the
Jeopardy name, and so we stopped. We we call it Balderdash.
Now it's the same game. We just call it all
(07:00):
the Dash and uh that that got us in some trouble.
There's a few all of those things. I a lot
of ceason assist letters, got a lot of those over
the years. I had a ton when I did the website.
I got a lot of trouble with the website too,
because that's one of the good things we have about
the radio. It's a little less now because the podcast,
because people go back and listen. But when we were
just doing terrestrial radio, if you didn't catch it live,
(07:22):
you didn't get it. It didn't exist and it just disappeared.
But now everything's recorded for posterity's sake, so we cannot
get out of the doghouse if you will g right so,
and he says, in light of Russell Westbrook's comments, have
you ever received a death threat? Seems like people say
(07:43):
that a lot, but do they really feel threatened? Ge
I have received multiple death threats over the years for
hot takes on the radio, which fascinates me. That you
would commit capital murder because of something someone says on
the radio just blows my mind. Uh, that that would happen.
But I have gotten them. I've never really taken them
(08:04):
that seriously. I made some comments about Ray Lewis when
the Ravens were in the Super Bowl against the forty Niners,
and some ray Lewis fans, appropriately enough, wanted to harm me,
wanted to kill me, which you know, Ray was involved
in the situation where some some blood was on the
street back in the day. Where's the white suit? Ray,
where are amazing? Yeah? So I got in trouble for
(08:27):
that one, all right, I get in trouble. I got
death threats. I trashed Lebron's cavaliers. Some nice folks in
northern Ohio wanted to put a hit out on me. Wow,
you know, but these are all the way I look
at it, and this is just mostly on social media.
Tough guys keyboard exactly exactly. They think they're you know,
(08:50):
myb boss is on you know, back in the old
days in the old country online, and they think they
all have anonimity and all that, and I that's just whatever.
I just block them or mute them. Usually the way
you get blocked is to threaten me. That's normally will
lead to a block. If you threaten my life, I
know it. I think that's fair. Like Rob Parker, I
have this conversation Robert, block you if you you say
(09:13):
you don't like the color of the shoes. He just
bought the air Jordan's you know, block But I'm not
like that. He's the Derek Carr of our network. He
just he just goes for it. Rob's like, and I
tried to you were there actually the Super Bowl thing.
I tried to explain to Rob, just mute people. Mute
People's great because they don't know that they're not part
of the conversation, so they keep sending you the offensive stuff,
(09:35):
but you don't see it, so out of sight, out
of mind. Like I muted a lot of people. You
annoy me. I mute you. I don't care keep him
in the Twitter fold. Yeah, the way I look at it,
they don't. The company does not pay me to be
on Twitter. I'm paid to do a radio show. That's bonus. Like,
I don't need to put up with people's books. You've
got your own issues. See a therapist. I'm not your therapist, Okay,
(09:57):
And and and and work it out. I hope. I
hope he's improved for you. But it's not my job
to work it out for you. And if you know
you have a problem with an opinion, there's this on
off button on the radio. You can turn it on,
you can turn it off or amazing, there's like a
zillion other radio stations. Same thing with a podcast. So
it's like I said, Danny, when I go to a restaurant,
if I do not enjoy the meal at the restaurant,
(10:18):
I don't go back to the restaurant. I move on.
That's it. If there's a snail in the sandwich I ordered,
I'm like, Okay, I don't I don't like snails. I'm
I'm out of here. But I don't stand there. You
don't go back to the restaurant and shoot the chef. No,
and I'm not. I'm not concerned. Maybe I should consider that,
but I've not done that, and I certainly don't stand
outside the restaurant like a dog barking. You know. I'm
(10:41):
not doing that, man, So it has it? Have you
been threatened? Any been radio a long time? Has anyone
threatened you? Yeah? I worked at a rock station when
I was a kid. There was a couple of different
guys who called up every night for a certain song,
and I know that they were part of the same
party because they were just really oxious about this song
(11:01):
they wanted. For whatever reason, the song wasn't on those
radio stations playlist, so I could not play it even
if I wanted to. There wasn't a copy of it there.
I couldn't play it, and they threatened me. It got
to the point where they came by the studios and
they shot paintball guns at the windows. Good day, sir.
(11:21):
They were just so pissed about you know, how dare
I not play the song they wanted? As a kid,
I was like, holy sh it, Like people are that
passionate about wanting a song played. It's not even like
they recorded the song. I think it was by the
Red Hot Chili Peppers, but it was an album cut
that wasn't on the playlist. There's nothing I could do. Yeah,
(11:42):
that's that's that's crazy. I actually wasn't. Are we allowed
to tell the story? I don't know we're allowed. I
think we could tell the story. I was at the
Fox Sports radio studios, trying to think it was probably
been almost fifteen years now, maybe maybe a little less,
but around fifteen years. I was there on a Sunday
night and uh got shot at. The student got shot at,
(12:05):
but a dumb thing to do. We tested whether or
not the bulletproof class actually works, and it does. And
we also found out the bulletproof glass is very expensive
to replace, and when it is shot, people don't like
to necessarily replace said bulletproof Class because they have to
spend a lot of money replacing it. But it did work,
(12:28):
and that is also one of those nights that I
will I will remember for some time. That was when
I first started at the company. They referred to those
as the Ben Mallard panels. There's been a lot of
interesting things at the corner of Ventura and S. Paul.
But we're moving out of those studios. We'll have to
do at some point a retrospective of the craziest, aniest
(12:50):
things that happened at the original Fox Sports radio studios
when they moved to burr Bach in a couple of
months before you know it, they do. We have an
update on that if you heard anything, if there has
been any more scuttle buttters, it's still August, Yeah, August,
It's still what we've been hearing. And of course the
famous stories about how that location used to be a Denny's,
(13:11):
yes before the network moved into the space, and that's
why some huge cock roaches still come out of the ceiling.
The cock roaches. My my favorite is when of all
the critters is when the skunk gets into the air
conditioning system and there's no windows, you can't open up
the windows, and it just reeks of for for hours.
(13:33):
Been the first time that happened. When I was there,
I was like, where's Coop? Where's Well? I think we
we know what Coop was doing there? Absolutely, Who the
heck is justin Cooper? Yeah, And it was always like
you knew when it started it was gonna be there
(13:53):
for a while, Like you just had to you had
a bucker down because that smell was just gonna be wait,
it was terrible. Oh my god, I don't miss that.
I don't know. I don't have that at the remote study. Alright,
who is next? He come back? It's sim that's right.
Patricia from Vegas, formerly of New England the Boston area.
(14:14):
She says, Hey, Ben, we know how long you've been
at FSR, but how long has Danny been with the company?
All right, so Patricia would like to know your employment history.
Danny g oh, I feel like I'm on a job
interview right now. Uh. Well, I'm a team player except
for the people I don't work well with, which is
half the staff. Along with everyone except the people you
(14:38):
don't Yeah. Yeah, I got hired by Fox Sports Radio December. Okay, yeah,
and it was for your show and the Jason Smith
Show with Mike Harmon. Are we got time for a
short one? Jeremy and san Diego says, I hate that
(14:58):
women expect men to always pick up the tab on
first dates and second third How do I get a
girl to pick up the tab for me instead? You say,
oh damn, I left my wallet at home. Uh no,
you know, you pay as much as you can and
spoil her and then she'll spoil you back here you go,
(15:20):
or just be really good looking. Yeah, I remember you
replaced Jake Warner, right, he was in for Jake. Jake
had taken a job. Did he go to I think
Jake took a teaching job, only we were in a school.
I think up late with Jake he did for his
alma mater. He took a job in the counseling office.
Is there something to help kids with? Stay? Yeah? Stay
(15:43):
awake with Jake. That was awake. That was his a
bit that he did. And now I'm done, and he
throwed the microphone down. And now he's got his own
podcast and we saw him. Yeah, well he was doing
some stuff out there, so he's doing very well. I've
been on his podcast. He's been on this podcast, so
you have. And of course he got to do a
rant about something that was bothering him every week. That
(16:04):
was his bit. I did Tinderroni chips and now it's
cooking with Roberto. Jake told me. I think he might
have said this on the Piace that his podcast, which
is I think just about Jake, has a tremendous female listenership,
which is I mean, good for Jake, but it's it
(16:25):
seems I don't know that's what he say, he swore.
I guess maybe he talks about relationships stuff or something
like that. But yeah, I think he does it. Do
a little bit of that. Okay, all right, And he's
Devin Air. That's right, that's right, he's unless he's not.
He's yeah, I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah, alright,
Kevin from Kansas. Kevin from Kansas says, Hey, Bett, if
(16:50):
you don't mind sharing sharing some more insider information. You
do a lot of show prep. When do you get
this done? Is it throughout the day? Do you have
set hours? Inquiring lines would like to know? So it's
kind of an all day think, Kevin. I'm always like
looking to see if there's anything that's gonna be good
talk radio, and I try to talk about something different
(17:13):
all four hours, and some days that's harder than other days.
And so anytime a story pops up, I'm like, okay, like,
what's my angle on that? Number one? What's my angle? Uh?
Number two? Is that something that would be good? Do
people actually want to hear that? And then number three
is always is there something better? Can I find something better?
(17:35):
Which is number three? F me up? Danny because I
I spend a lot of time thinking I can find
something better, and some days you just gotta kind of
go with it. So that's usually it. But it's it's
off and on all day, but we're really about six
hours before the show. We really get cooking about six
hours before the show, and we're on at night, so
(17:56):
it's oftentimes something will happen right now the NBA is
going on, so it'll be some story that will take place,
and obviously I don't know what's going to happen until
it happened, so I kind of have to play that out.
But usually there's a couple of stories that happened early
in the day that are gonna still have legs at night.
NFL moves or rumors and things like that. So you
(18:18):
and like we got to talk about a little bit
on yesterday's podcast during the pandemic, number three really came
in handy, Yeah, exactly. That helps help, That helps you out, Kevin.
But that's the that's the de leo on some of
the show prep and it's as you know, Danny, you've
been doing this for a while too. You just like
(18:38):
you're always trying to find something and you're hoping somebody
will text you something that you can go with and yeah, yeah,
last week, for instance, we got the Calvin Ridley story, Yes,
that's right, and then the Aaron Rodgers and uh, of
course the Denver Broncos story with Russell Wilson on the
same day, and then the baseball thing the next day.
(19:00):
And so for us, it's like boom boom boom, and
you know, you get to have your say on on
what's going on, and when there's that much action, it
makes the show even that much more exciting. Yeah, like
those are the days I think anybody could do the show,
like when there's a big but the day is where
you earn your money is when there's a little less
going on and you have to really really dig and
(19:22):
you use your mind and theater of the mind, right,
theater of the mine. That's what it's all about. Okay,
you don't need to yell Lugo from Lancaster, California, the
High Desert former home of the Lancaster Jet Hawks until
Rob Manford decided to kill the Lancaster Jetawks. Uh, Lugo says, uh,
(19:42):
Rob Manford has punished Major League Baseball fans more than
he did the Stros. Your thoughts, well, Lugo, you're correct. Uh.
And every time I see Rob Manford, I think there's
a clown right there. What are you doing? You lose
their just a piece of metal? Yeah, just a big
hunk of metal. Uh and uh what a wonderful leader
(20:05):
of business? Rob Manford is pathetic? And uh, you know
how I feel about that, Lugo. Chris and Marrick cocaa
IOA writes and he says, how would you go? This
is actually an interesting mind biddening question. He says, how
would you go about hiding or laundering one million dollars
(20:27):
you found buried accidentally to make sure friends, family, and
the taxman don't find out? So what is the best
way to launder money? It seems like this might be
an illegal question. He also says, go raiders. So he's
on your team and he Chris is a Chris and
Mary cocad io was a big fan of that, right
he is, Uh, So how would you launder money? I
(20:51):
think you'd go to a place like Vegas? Right, you
would go to a place like Vegas and you would
get you'd get a bunch of you put a much
of money down, maybe make one bet cash out wouldn't
that be a way to do it? You know, I'm
trying to think, like, again, we have the answer for you,
(21:12):
all right, what's the answer arbis? We you got the meats,
just invest in a bunch of Arbies and that's all
a facade for the mob anyways, there's no real Arby's. Yeah,
you go there and it's like, you know, you get
the beef and you get I heard you the first time.
You don't need to play that again? What's wrong? Uh? Yeah,
(21:33):
I've never spent I'm not spent a lot of time
on that. But you gotta think like swap meets places
like that, right, not a lot of places that deal
in in cash. But I would like to have that problem.
That's a problem with I was gonna say that's a problem.
Will research down the road when we run into being wonderful, wonderful,
(21:54):
wonderful like Travis from Roseberg, Oregon says, you guys had
mentioned the delicious smelling bacon wrapped hot dogs at the
Super Bowl. How closed did Ben come to trying one out?
Once you try bacon, you never go back. Travis says,
no buns. You have these maids I want. I didn't
(22:14):
come that close. I love the smell of it, and
that's a traditional l A smell when you go to
like sporting events in l A. Any of the teams,
it's it's the bacon wrapped hot dogs, and it's the corn.
This is it the sweet Mexican corner? Is that what
it is? Roberto actually did that this week. I'm cooking
with Roberto. But yeah, I've I've had bacon. I've just
(22:35):
had turkey bacon. I haven't had the authentic swine bacon,
which is which is the most popular and so but uh,
I don't. I don't think at this point. It's kind
of like coffee. If I like to brag about I've
not had a cup of coffee and I go to
Starbucks with my my wife and I'll get like lemonade
or not not lemonade. They have like a t thing.
(22:55):
I'll do that. But I think I'm I'm good in
that at a department. All right, let's see who's next.
We have Jason and Rocky Mount Virginia says, Hey, guys,
I believe it was Queen Roxanne who recommended this before
football season when the gas can was there. Can we
get the podcast dropped earlier in the day. I love
(23:16):
the podcast, I'll listen whenever, but it is more convenient
earlier on weekends. Well, I thought we had figured that out.
Now I don't know, Danny. On Friday, we're not allowed
to drop the podcast early because it interferes with my
podcast from the radio. So we have to we have
to separate, uh that with the time it out and
(23:37):
has to be with you know, so it's at the
normal time fight But on Saturday and Sunday we can
we can fire it off early, right, I fire it
off as soon as it's ready to go, so okay, Yeah,
there's post production involved. Every time you say fucking your
filthy mouth, I don't know what you're talking about. Ben's
curse words need to be believed. Please come on, how
(23:57):
dare you? But yeah, we try to get it done.
I think the goal had been like four am on
Saturday and Sunday, but it is. It's usually upright around
that time, sometimes even earlier, so you know, it varies,
but it's always in that six am window. Well, Jason
is in Rocky MoU so it's at seven and be
(24:18):
or four would be at seven in how early are
you getting up Jason? Saturday sleep in, dude, it's you
know you get up that early on Saturday, don't you?
Maybe you do, I don't know. Valls fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee. Right,
since this, we're both of you. If you could coach
any team in any league, he said, holdies, I didn't
play the right I didn't play the right sound bite,
(24:40):
and and these guys get upset, Danny, when I don't
play the right sound bites, they get angry. They said,
why didn't I get my little sound by a? Sorry
about that call? All right? Anyway, Jimmy says, if you
could coach any team in any league, what would it be?
You can bring two assistants with you from fs are uh?
(25:01):
He says, no l A Clippers, no l A Dodgers,
no l A Lakers, no l A Rams or Las
Vegas Raiders. What Yeah, she can't coach any of the
teams that we like. Okay, Um, I would I would
have fun managing the Boston Red Sox, that is, I
think that would be if coaching the like the Patriots,
(25:23):
like a town like Boston where there's a big passion
passion for sports and all that, I think that would
be fun. So I would. I would enjoy that. But
those are all great jobs. Like is there really a
bad job? Like, if you're managing the Toronto blue Jays,
is that a bad job? You're people like the blue Jays,
you're in Toronto, if you're the coach of the Toronto Raptors,
is that from a quality of life perspective? I think maybe? Uh,
(25:47):
Like the Miami Marlins would be great because nobody cares
about the team. You live in Miami and you've got
the great weather. There's a lot of games in baseball,
So maybe you'd rather coach the Dolphins or the Miami Heat.
But what about you, Danny. I would take you and
Clay Travis with me to the New York Knicks. Yeah.
(26:08):
The reason why I would pick the Knickerbockers is because
we could turn basketball around in the city of New York.
The glory days from the seventies would be back again. Ben,
You'd look like the big former player turned assistant. You
would just be my Finally would be my assistant. I
(26:29):
would tell him to go do things, uh and handle
pr That would be great on Twitter, Ben, The first
move I would make is I would trade for Lebron
James and make you his special coach. Wow, that's just
what I need. That's just you know, I don't know,
(26:49):
I don't know nothing about gott it. So well, if
you if the Knicks ever became good again, I don't
know that we'll see that in our lifetimes because they blow,
But if they ever really became good and all those
you'd be hanging out with hedge fund guys, Fall Street,
fat cats, the robber barons of business that all are
in Manhattan, and they like their sports and supermodels and
(27:10):
they'd give you like insider tips on what to bet on.
And you know I'm talking about Wall Street here, right,
and you know that's how that goes, right. They're not
they're not legally supposed to do that, but I have heard,
and maybe I've heard wrong, Danny, but I have heard
that the phones are the phones are ringing there, and
that they do they do give some tips. So yeah, yeah,
(27:33):
imagine owning the city of New York. That would be
pretty sweet. It would be pretty pretty cool, for sure.
I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah, alright, Pierre
from Springfield, Massachusetts. How many Pro Basketball Hall of Fame
where Muffett McGraw is enshrined and Pierre says, I know
you've got an itchy trigger finger with your sound effects
(27:56):
machine over there, much like Leslie Neils who was notorious
for his pocket fart machine. He says there. Uh, he says.
My question is for Danny and whether he adds his
drops in real time or does he add them in
post Sometimes when you don't react to them, it makes
it seem like they were added later. Also, Uh, if
(28:18):
you haven't yet checked out the Mallard Town podcast, I
would recommend episode thirty for some very clear, half pint audio,
much different than what we are used to. All Right,
that's from Pierre, so uh. Pierre's impressed that sometimes Danny
you try to throw me off my game, but I'm
(28:39):
so stone faced at times that it seems like you
put certain drops in later. But it's just me being
a professional broadcast. Well, I wish I could go along
with that story, but we've talked about this on the
podcast before. I do add stuff post production. But to
be fair, on the live radio show all those years
(28:59):
with you would slip drops in and you would ignore
me then too the man enjoy me. Well, yeah, because
I you know, I'm I'm on the train. Chue true
you know, I'm going down the tracks and just it's
all about the timing of the drop anyways, it's not
about your reaction to a drop. Yeah. And I have
not had a chance to hear the Mallard Town podcast
(29:21):
with half point, but I have not heard a half
point call the show. I'm worried about her. Hope she's okay.
It's very ugly what happened with beer drinking, Brian dying
and then the family his family and getting upset. I
guess with the finances. I don't know what's going on
with that, but it's uh a little a little awkward,
a little awkward. So I hope everything ends up well
(29:43):
for all involved. Uh. Next up on the old mail bag? Yes, uh,
let's see here we have Oh, here's a here's a
couple of fan favorites. Helen and Stu and Palmettow Bay
Florida says be and Danny g and Ukraine President lens
a Jew. May your strength be firm, h Ben. Uh
(30:06):
will save discussing the prose of working nights in Montana's
oldest profession for another day. That sounds like that's a shot.
And a certain female in Montana who who loves this show. Uh,
and Helen says, as Stu and I finish up this week,
the last leg of our RV road trip here in Orlando,
(30:28):
that sounds like fun. Let's begin with a timely fifth
hour joke and end with a question. As for the joke,
what's the difference between a Republican and a Ukrainian? Helen says, Uh,
The answer is a Ukrainian defends their capital. Wow, look
at you? How dare you? Helen? How dare you? It
was very threatening those guys walking around with American flags
(30:51):
at the capital. All right, Uh, she says. Ben asked
for the question, who's more disappointed and heartbroken? Is how
their other kids ives turned out? Johnny Manziel's parents Paul
and Michelle or your show producer Justin Cooper's parents Fletcher
and Marie signed Helen and Uh and Stu man they are,
(31:14):
they are firebrands. They are they're going for it wrong? Yeah, no,
they are. I'm sure Cooper still got he's got. I
think he's done pretty well for him. Like he had
a bunch of acting games when he was a kid,
so yeah, and he invested his money wisely. Yeah, So
I think he's he's good. And Johnny Manzel his family
(31:36):
came from old money, right. The Manzel family had old
old texts money, his oil money. So crude. When you
when you don't have to worry about paying your bills
and you don't have to worry about losing a job
because you don't have to worry about paying your bills,
then you you act very reckless. I remember as a
kid and I played Donkey Kong Danny, and if I
(31:56):
didn't really concern myself with how I was gonna do,
it was like carrying that noise. I don't care reckless.
So anyway, uh, next up, let's see here we have
a Moleman. Long message from mole Man. He says, Ben etcetera. All,
I mean a long time Mallard devotee. It's started with
(32:19):
sleep difficulties, and now I don't know if you are
the cause of or the cure of my occasional insomnia.
He says. I love the show, love the podcast, love
the Fifth Hour, very kind of talked about the work
ethic here I have subscribed to unlike both what maslet,
thank you God, bless you, love the Gang and irreverence
(32:42):
and the entire stick. I'm usually an I heart listening
occasionally terrestrial radio, and I'm a fan of all things
Mallard except that seven minute long Novo Nordisk commercial. He says, Well,
that commercial is so good it's its own podcast. It's
(33:03):
like a podcast within a podcast. That commercial anyway, says
lame jokes, Coop Scoop cooking with the Berto anything. Eddie
h points for him being a pirate Steeler fan have
become must listen radio. Thankfully, I can listen later if
I happen to actually fall asleep at night like you,
who I am a self described a logo file and
(33:25):
if you have to look that up, which I do, uh,
he says uh. I also like meat cooked well done,
financially financial frugality, so we have that in coverage. I
guess you validate my very existence. Yea. Well, we we
share a similar similar wants and desires in life, a
(33:46):
burned up piece of meat, and and then also not
blowing your money, not being reckless with your money. Uh,
he says Danny g Uh. He says, Danny G gag on,
and he says, you're better. He says, here, Danny g
it's not even closest. Wow, he says, some honor. People
are likable and become one's friends. Others are hard to endure.
(34:10):
I'll leave it at that. Uh, you know what's up.
Thank you for delivering us from the collateral damage of
exposure to the ego I shots fired. Now, he says,
he's gonna get to the point. But he did say,
Danny you are He says, you're smart, funny, interesting, and
a normal nice dude. Wow, which the bosses felt that way. Yeah,
(34:31):
this is actually sent by Don Martin. I know anyway,
Uh says, I'll get to the point. He says, two
weeks ago, you and Danny G were discussing the word oliguard. Hell, yes,
I love the word, and it seems timely, so I
want to nominate a new phrase of your official nickname list,
which I love, by the way, and got all off
(34:52):
the whole thing here one of these days. And don't
let Danny G talk you out of it. It's awesome
incorporating most exciting word to wit Uh, he says. Uh.
He says, how about the oligarch of after dark, the
oligark of overnight, or the overnight oligarch? Make it stop? Well, No,
those are all great suggestions, but which one will stick
(35:14):
the Oligarch of after dark, the Oligarch of Overnight, or
the overnight Oligarch. M hm, I kind of like the
oligarch of after dark. But what do you think? Which
one of those do you? Do? You like? Daddy? I
don't like nicknames. It's wrong with you. He lost your way,
he became an old, grumpy man. How there you. You
(35:37):
know it's my job to drop drops on you when
you try to give us a long list of nicknames.
But I agree with this guy. I agree with this guy,
mole Man that that oligarch is a fun word to say.
That's fine. I just thought that this was gonna lead
in to your usual bit about all your nicknames. So
I'm happy that you're mature enough to not do your
(35:58):
entire list of nicknames. Well, Danny, listen, you know I'm
a I'm a grown up, I'm an adults wrong. Yeah,
So I have been called the spin master of misinformation,
the bannering broadcaster, the Beethoven of Bascar, mudgeon of commentary,
Chasm of sarcasm csars. Any dark night of weeknight sports
(36:18):
radio can do a thing like this, Mogul of mischief,
Benny the Brazen King of zing money, mall Mallard, I'm fellasweep,
Benny the Bopper, Facetious Fox, Sultan of insulted, the Shaman
of schaden freude, Jumping Jack of wisecrack, Insight of Overnight Medicine,
(36:40):
Man Mallard, Miller, Naybob of negativity, Sage of Outrage, Pinnacle
of cynical What kind of radio show are you guys? Do?
The Prince of Preposters, Professor of propaganda, Oh no, we
shock again, Huszar of high Purpole, and the mad Hatter
(37:03):
of sports chatter. And that's just some of my officially
sanctioned nicknames, just a small dose of the nicknames. There
needs to be a new one added in there. About
bulletproof glass well, the older Gark of after Dark, the
older Gark of overnight, about the bulletproof gas bag, glass bag,
(37:26):
glass bag, glass bags. See, what's what rhymes with? Oligarch?
Rhymes with the word. That's not a word that would
have a lot of rhymes, is it? Yeah? No, park
dark sark. Well, there you are, the Oldagark of dark. No, no, yeah,
that's actually good. Do you like that? The older dark
(37:48):
of dark? Oh man, I can't believe I gave you
another one. There you go, they see we moll Man,
we've done this on the air. I mean, let me
let me write down a note here, the older garc
of dark. I think it works. I feel dirty right now,
like I need a shower because I'm part of this.
Now that's great. It can be another nick name to
add on to the nickname roll call, and we can
(38:10):
thank the mole Man. He says. I am always interested
in your take on all sports news events. Your monologues
are great. He says, you are the lone rational voice
in a noisy sea of pomp, mediocrity and stupid filler.
There you Sorry for the novel, he says, rock on, dude,
that's from mole Man. Well, it's very kind, mole Man.
(38:34):
And if you'd like to be my publicist, please send
me another message and we'll we'll make that happen. He
also says, f baseball, I'm sick of those whiney rich pricks.
He says, wow, well harsh uh. Let's see who is
next year? Any me? I got mail yea, I got
mail ya all right. Carlos in Houston, Texas says Ben.
(38:57):
A few weeks ago, you guys had a conversation about
Fox Sports Radio Alumni the Alumni Association. So my question is,
who is the one guy who absolutely hated working with
passed or present goes for you as well as Danny
g And also, will you guys be attending any minor
league games? Well, I haven't thought that far ahead, Carlos.
(39:18):
I love minor league baseball. I would love to get
to a game or two. And now we've always refrained
from answering this question, Danny, the Fox Sports Radio Alumni Association,
the people that you hated working it is for the
very reason I gave already on the podcast this weekend.
Because there's snitches, Yeah, exactly, and people they they will
(39:39):
the people we are going to name would not hear this,
but somebody that is listening would say, Hey, I heard
mallor ripped you. What's up with that? You know, certain
people are just wired, They're wired that way, Carlo. So
that is a non answer answer, which you just got, Carlos,
was a non answer. I'll give you one because I
don't know his name. We're still trying to figure it
(40:00):
out that one host that would fill in for you sometimes,
and we thought we kept going off the air because
his pauses were so long. Oh yeah, I remember you
guys telling me about that. You can't think of his
name though he's not on the network anymore. It's not
that I hated him, but I hated doing the shifts
when he was on because we constantly thought that we
(40:20):
lost the satellite link. Yeah it was he was he Ohio,
that guy? Where was he yet? Do you remember where
he was? No? I thought he was in Vegas. I
could be wrong, but I mean it's a far cry
from you, where sometimes it's hard to fit a drop
in because you won't give me a breath. And this
guy would pause so long you could drive an entire
(40:43):
train through the pause. Yeah. Like, I'm always like, I
gotta keep going because if there's a dead area, people
tune out. They don't want to keep listening. They're like, yeah, boring.
You're thoughtful with what you say, so sometimes you're a
deep thinker and you think about what you're saying. And
that's fine. But this guy would and man Fred should
(41:08):
really think about it, and he did that like constantly
through a monologue, to where there were ten times we
thought we went off the air. It was painful. Wow,
that is this craziness slapped me around a little bit.
I've had my run ins with some former athletes that
have passed through the building. Let's just leave it at that,
and uh, you know, be careful because some of them
(41:29):
end up. It's like a boomerang Danny. They leave and
then they come back. They leave and then they come back.
It's sign from I robbed from Lincoln, Nebraska, where when
I was a kid, Nebraska football was like right at
the top with Oklahoma. They've sucked for twenty plus years,
it seemed. But anyway, Robin Nebraska says, does Roberto bring
(41:53):
in any of the food he makes on the Cooking
with Roberto segment? Well, he he had in the past.
I'm not sure about recently. I've been doing the show
remotely from the remote studio, so I don't know if
that's the case. But the food was delicious, and he'd
usually bring in some tupper wear and they'd have to
have the food in there. Who is next year? All right?
(42:13):
Mike from Fullerton in southern California says, when you were
a kid, what cars did you think were the coolest,
real and fictional. Well that's a product growing up in
the mostly the eighties. I love the the eight Team
Van I thought was really cool. The the Batmobile was awesome.
(42:34):
Uh that night Rider car kit kit from the David
Hasselhoff I thought I was pretty neat. Those are the
three that popped into my head. Any cars any I
did the fictional? Uh you want to do the non fiction? Yeah,
well one more fictional. How about the Duke's a hazard car.
That's another one. Yeah, the Dukes wuld go on all
(42:55):
those jumps or the Jetson's plane thing George insert jets
in sound effect here, kitchen. They had. The sound effect
(43:22):
of that car is one of the greatest futuristic sound effects. Uh,
let's see. And now do you want real cars? Uh? Yeah, sure,
wonder Oh here we go, I got I found it
this um. You know when I was a little kid,
I you know, we loved it when Sports Illustrated came
(43:45):
in the mail Remember that feeling? It was great. Yeah,
the smell of it, the pages, you said, oh yeah,
running from the mailbox. I would tell my older brother
it's here. And I remember flipping through the pages as
a little kid. I was a small kid an elementary
school and there was a picture of Marcus Allen standing
(44:05):
in front of his jet black d R Testa Rosa
and that was it for you right there, you were smoke.
It looked fast. Yeah, And I remember doing research on
the car afterwards and asking my mom about it, and
she told me, well, you're gonna have to play football too,
if you want one of those. That's good motherly advice.
(44:28):
You want that, well, uh, yeah, you gotta. You know,
you end up like Randy Moss at something and you'll
be in you'll be in good shape. But was there
a car when you were a kid that caught your eye?
You know? Not, not really. I was more into like
the uh the ones from the shows I watched. I
didn't really get into cars until I got a little older,
(44:51):
so there really wasn't one. I was like, wow, I
gotta get that. But I always loved I was such
a loser. I was like, I love my My grandparents
had this RV and when they never took us on
the road, they took my cousins on the road because
my parents couldn't get off work. So they take the
cousins and they go on these summer vacations for like
(45:11):
a month. They'd go to all over the country. And
I remember before they would leave, we would all hang
out and I got to run through the r V,
and as a kid, I thought that was like the
coolest thing ever. You bring your house on the road
with you, and it was like really nice and it
was awesome. But but as far as like a speed
car anything like that, not really. I wish I had
(45:32):
a great answer, but I don't. Let's see what is
next year, any meany I thought that RV was great
until they had you empty the uh the waste receptacles.
Oh yeah, that's the funny thing is I was told
that they would go on the road and then they
would stay at hotels anyway, So what's the point of
it's a gas gust there? I don't gas was cheaper
(45:54):
back then, but it seems like the cheapest. I remember
gas under a dollar. It briefly got under a dollar.
It was I couldn't tell you when, but I remember
running we drove by the gas station. It was like
no ninety seven cents or something like that in California,
obviously before the gas tax kicked in and all that.
(46:16):
I remember like it was it had been for a
while when I first started driving, because I'm old, it
had been like, uh, two dollars and twenty cents or
something like that, and then it slowly would go up
and then eventually got to three dollars, and then it
got to four dollars and lately has been you know,
to the moon, to the moon. Yep, I got five
(46:38):
dollars and seventy nine cents yesterday. Um, I think I
paid five fifty earlier this week. That was and I
don't get gas as much as you probably do, but
it was five fifty. People. You talk to people who
have worked in the oil industry, like behind the scenes,
and they'll tell you that it's just complete bullshit. The
way that they adjust the oil price is and they
(47:02):
always panic before. They panic first, and then we'll adjust after.
So they'll you will end up paying more at the
pump because of panic. What could happen, not what's actually happening.
What could happen, And they raised the prices up, and
then when it doesn't happen, it's not like they give
(47:23):
you a discount and say, Okay, we were wrong. Insurance
you don't get any of it back for not using it. No,
and most insurance, let's be honest here, I've had to
file claims with various insurance companies over the years. They
they want you to pay the premium, but they don't
if you you actually need the insurance. They try to
find every reason not to pay you the insurance. That's
(47:45):
normally how that goes. So it's like, what are we
paying for? This is where I wish Tom Looney still
worked out the network so I could psyche the gas
out of his car. Yeah, well, let's please, we can
take the I'll take the tires off, you take the
gas out. Were good? Were good on that? Uh quotation?
For Danny g As, he still travel he said, he
(48:07):
said quotation, but he meant question. He misspelled question quotation.
Why would direct quotation if you make questions anyway? And
why would I read it? He says. For Danny g As,
he still travels with the studio. How much did you
have to cry when you last filled up your vehicle?
And have you asked for a raise from the I
Heart people to accommodate you. That's from Big Gregg in
(48:30):
Iowa insert left track here, thank you. And this is
where we point out we work for Fox Sports Radio,
not Fox Sports Television. We work for I Heart Radio
and as rich as Troy Aikman and these NFL broadcasters
(48:51):
are for some reason that I don't. I don't understand
what this is. It has not it has not gone
down to radio. Yeah, it hasn't quite trickled down to us.
And also, I got an email last week from my
Heart giving employees the first crack at buying I Heart
Music Festival tickets for Las Vegas. Man, it's a deal.
(49:14):
Eight hundred and eighty two dollars for one ticket? Are
you serious? I'm gonna get ten of them. Eighty two
for one ticket. Now, I get it. It's a huge festival.
It's a two day event, but for either Friday or Saturday,
not eight eight two for both days, eighty two for
one of the days. I'm sure you could resell that
(49:38):
for a couple of thousand bucks. But people are nuts
with what they'll pay for a concert. What's the most
you've paid for a concert? Probably a couple of hundred bucks.
There's no way I would go over two hundred dollars
for a concert ticket. When I was in Vegas, I
almost went to see Billy Joel. He was performing at
the uh The Stadium the Raiders team. Yeah, I didn't
(50:02):
do it. Now if it was yeah, now, if it
was a rock and roll band on their final tour.
Something special like that, almost like the super Bowl of
rock or hip hop something like that. I could understand
you paying a lot of money for that, But to
go see a top forty act that is on top
of the world right now, Oh, let's go see Drake.
(50:24):
Tickets are only six hundred dollars now, that's okay, I'm
cool on that. Um. Yeah, Like, who's one of the
Beatles guy? What's his name? Paul McCartney's performing in l A.
I think right, yeah, people have been complaining about his
ticket prices. Yeah, but he's how old is Paul McCartney?
I know it's like your last opportunity, right And the
(50:45):
same thing is going on right now in London at
the end of March, is going to be the last
show for Phil Collins in Genesis. Yeah, and so something
like that I would pay a lot. Man. As far
as gas, I can't really answer that because I don't
sit there and fill up my entire tank. I'm one
of those people where I think I'm saving money if
(51:08):
I get the gas in thirty Okay, I got you, Yeah,
Because I'm always on the lookout for the best gas
station well, this gas stations five seventy nine. Surely I'm
gonna find a gas station for five forty nine, So
I'll do forty here and I'll do forty there. So
I bounced around. This sounds like if you were watching
(51:31):
T n T the other night during the week Shock.
They were having a conversation about gas prices and Shock
that was his I think it was Shock. He was
trying to Kenny Smith and yeah, he was trying to
explain you. Uh. One of them was saying, I forget whish,
but they was saying, like, you fill up like you do, daddy,
we just put thirty or Philip halfway or whatever. It's
(51:52):
like a mine trick where it's you don't feel it
as much because you're not you're not paying for the
full tank. And it's so bad. Are they put limits
the credit cards? They used to put limits on for
a while, you couldn't spend more than like fifty bucks,
and then they raised it to seventy five. But the
price of gas now is so crazy they might have
(52:12):
to raise the price of you know, the limit on
the credit card again. Oh yeah. A friend of mine
posted a picture where she put a hundred and twenty
seven dollars into her SUV one two seven is insane
and it's probably gonna get her what three miles maybe
if she's lucky, you know, and the way these things go.
Oh thank god, I don't have a V eight anymore.
(52:34):
Although my car only takes premium, and I know you
disagree with that I do. I'm a anti premium. I
put and put the regular gas in. This one of
the great scams of our time, premium guests. It's not
a scam when you have a performance engine in your car. Man,
you can't just you can't put dirt oil into a
race car engine. Scam. You are fake news. You are
(52:56):
a fake moves now you are. He said it to you,
You didn't say it to me. Wrong. Don't use middle
grade because that's still dirty. It's still got the dirt
in it. Got to use premium to get that clean cool.
Even surveys study after study how much money Americans waste
on premium gasoline where they don't need it. You'll get
(53:17):
the knocks and the pings in that jet engine if
you use that dirt oil. Yeah, all right, let's see
who is next year? Any meany mint? All right? This
is John and Northern Colorado resubmitted. He says, what is
your favorite road food? What is your favorite road trip food?
(53:38):
I prefer slim Jim's and Twizzlers and the occasional fig Newton,
He says, John, I'm I love there's this trail mix
that I get from. I don't know if I should
name the story. I just one of the big box stores.
It's got and it's got like a bull's eye logo,
and they have this trail mix which has no nothing
(54:02):
good in it. It's just like cash shoes, peanuts, M
and M's. And then they've got these uh, these caramel
chocolate things. It's wonderful and that is my guilty pleasure
on the road. And my wife bought a bunch of stuff.
We like tons of snaxt night. I try to explain her.
(54:23):
I don't really eat that much these days, very rarely.
I did this past weekend. I went for it on
the road trip, but very rarely do I eat that much.
But she went crazy with that. So, what what's your
go to snack? Danniel put the baby to bed here soon?
What's your go to snack? My tender Roney does a
great job hooking it up from Trader Joe's. She'll get
the turkey jerky, She'll get the white cheese puffs, you
(54:50):
know the Yeah, I know what she's like. The pirates
booty type stuff is every time exactly that. With some
turkey jerky and some Capri Sun flavored, you're good to go.
Capri Son, that's good. That's a flashback to like high school,
junior high back in the day. Oh yeah, man, Bobo
every Sunday night in the studio he busts out Caprice sons.
(55:11):
I pulled some out of my bag and he looks
at me and he's like, yo, man, we're like brothers.
That's awesome. That's great. I think that's enough. On the
mail Back, we went a little longer than normal this week.
We had one more time, so thanks to everybody, we
didn't get to skip to Zip the official four star
roast manner Master General of the Mallar Misitian Akron Ohio
(55:31):
skips him with the show a long time. He asked
a hard old basketball question, which is really not what
we're looking to do here on the podcast and Brendan
in red Wing, Minnesota, he asked the timeless he wanted
to know how much would a wood Chuck would chuck
if it could Chuck Wood something like that, But we
(55:53):
don't have time for that. But thank you all. We'll
be back on the I'll be back on the terrestrial
radio tonight. Danny's working all day and I'll be back
to night on Fox. That's eleven p m. Sunday night
in the West, two am, two am on Monday in
the East, and we'll be doing four hours of original
audio content. And who knows what's gonna happen, but we
(56:14):
will be there and then we'll be yapping. And even
if nothing happens, we'll still be yapping. Well, whether there's
a lot going on or nothing. Right, that's the rule, Danny, Right,
that's the rule. Yep. Thanks for being part of a
fun weekend. It's been great. Thank you. Keep telling people
and promote the podcast. Get the word out and we'll
talk to you next time. Gotta murder, Gotta go. Population
Ka Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of
Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere
on a Sunday, Sunday Sunday Another additionally, Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and Danny g is upon us. Your dreams
have come true. No days off and Danny an amazing
(00:49):
story told on the Saturday podcast that your Tenderoni enjoyed
a Robert Kraft level massage that you provided her as
a gif if and tremendous reaction reaction to that podcast.
But quite the story. Quite something tells me that next
(01:09):
week she's gonna ask me to choke her for the
first time. And uh, but you know, you have to
play the role of the masseuse. You have to play
the have to recreate the magical massage, and that's the
way that's gonna go. But this is the Sunday Podcast,
and people have been complaining we haven't gotten enough questions.
So when anybody complains, Danny, you know what I say.
(01:31):
I said, okay, five, we'll get to today have questions.
Here we go hit that button. Thanks to ohio Al
who sent that in. It gets played every week about
this time on the podcast, and we are off to
(01:52):
the races. These are actual questions sent in by actual
listeners to the fifth hour. These are not fake. We
don't make these questions up. Sometimes we panic we don't
get enough questions. But we haven't had that problem in
a while. And anytime I have that problem, Danny, I
just I just complained to Alf the animal pine er,
and Alf signals the bugle, and then we get too
(02:15):
many questions. That's usually how that goes. But let's get
to it all right. First one, it comes from Chris
from Falling Waters, West Virginia. Is that a real place?
That sounds like a neat place, falling Waters, West Virginia.
You pisted into falling waters at Madonna in That's that's right. Uh,
Chris says, what was the most trouble you got into
(02:37):
for something that happened while you were on the air.
So we get a version of this question semi often,
Danny and I. I'm still working at the company, so
I can't get into too much detail, but I have.
I have gotten in trouble with a commissioner's office in
one of the major sports for a ranted I did.
I think we kind of talked about that, didn't we.
We get into that a little bit on the Yeah, yeah,
(02:59):
with Major League Baseball got very upset with me over
some things that I said on the air, which to me, uh,
my my position is they should be happy that anybody
doing a syndicated sports show is willing to talk about baseball,
no matter what they say, right, no matter. I mean,
strike up the organ, Danny, I mean I want that
that that that that that that that that you know,
(03:22):
I have talking baseball and there could playing so that
that happened. I've gotten in trouble for some jokes that
I made on the air that people had no sense
of humor and did not like. Uh, there was one
in particular, there was a there was a bacon joke
(03:44):
that I used to tell that got me in trouble.
I can't get into that right now. And usually usually
the times we get in trouble, Danny are when we
mentioned sponsors in a negative light, not realizing their sponsors.
That's usually what creates a fire, or if it is
known that it's a sponsor and the host still makes
(04:04):
fun of copy or something like that. Clay Travis got
us in trouble on that show one time because he
was making fun of a movie that was coming out.
They were a sponsor on the network, and the copy
was written really horribly. His take was, who the hell
wrote this? And this movie sounds like it sucks, you know.
(04:28):
Needless to say, they did not like that, called into
the principal's office, and on your show, you and I
got called into the principal's office together one night on
the air. We were all joking about a co worker.
Oh yes, and say who, because we've apologized. It really
(04:49):
was just joking, but I mean we said some things
that I guess somebody snitched and told him. He went
back and listened to the podcast and was offended by
what we said. That was the worst part of it.
Like we were just kidding around, you know, doing a
locker room talk as our former president would say, and
(05:11):
you know it's like, hey, we all need to laugh. Yeah,
So we're just having a good time and then the
person in question did not even hear it. There was
a weasel. I don't know who, but somebody leaked the
goods there, you little weasel. Yeah, that's not right. A
(05:33):
weasel will hear us. And and sometimes they're like, why
don't you guys just relax and joke and talk more
freely and honest, I'll tell you why, because whenever we
do that, if we talk about somebody else, some people
will go running to that person that was talked about. Yeah,
suddenly now you're in a heavyweight fight. And you know,
(05:54):
I was just doing a bit on the radio. That's
all I was doing. I was. There was nothing else
than that. I was just doing it. Snitches get stitches.
Was that that's that? I forgot about that one? Yeah,
that we got the phone call. You always try to
avoid the phone call. You don't want the phone call
where they call you up. And especially yeah, you'll see
when it's a conference call with five people on the line, Yeah,
(06:18):
and three of them you have no idea who they are.
You don't even know. They're like, what what is that?
And you're like, well, it's exactly here's HR and the
company's attorney on the conference. You know, you're I got
in trouble. Also, I'm trying to think a lot. I've
been doing this a long time, so Chris has been
a lot of things. I probably forgetting most of them.
(06:38):
But uh, we we got a cease and assist letter
from the Jeopardy people. We were doing Sports Jeopardy. I've
done Sports Jeopardy on the show for years, and probably
about ten years ago, they said you can't use the
Jeopardy name, and so we stopped. We we call it Balderdash.
Now it's the same game. We just call it all
(07:00):
the Dash and uh that that got us in some trouble.
There's a few all of those things. I a lot
of ceason assist letters, got a lot of those over
the years. I had a ton when I did the website.
I got a lot of trouble with the website too,
because that's one of the good things we have about
the radio. It's a little less now because the podcast,
because people go back and listen. But when we were
just doing terrestrial radio, if you didn't catch it live,
(07:22):
you didn't get it. It didn't exist and it just disappeared.
But now everything's recorded for posterity's sake, so we cannot
get out of the doghouse if you will g right so,
and he says, in light of Russell Westbrook's comments, have
you ever received a death threat? Seems like people say
(07:43):
that a lot, but do they really feel threatened? Ge
I have received multiple death threats over the years for
hot takes on the radio, which fascinates me. That you
would commit capital murder because of something someone says on
the radio just blows my mind. Uh, that that would happen.
But I have gotten them. I've never really taken them
(08:04):
that seriously. I made some comments about Ray Lewis when
the Ravens were in the Super Bowl against the forty Niners,
and some ray Lewis fans, appropriately enough, wanted to harm me,
wanted to kill me, which you know, Ray was involved
in the situation where some some blood was on the
street back in the day. Where's the white suit? Ray,
where are amazing? Yeah? So I got in trouble for
(08:27):
that one, all right, I get in trouble. I got
death threats. I trashed Lebron's cavaliers. Some nice folks in
northern Ohio wanted to put a hit out on me. Wow,
you know, but these are all the way I look
at it, and this is just mostly on social media.
Tough guys keyboard exactly exactly. They think they're you know,
(08:50):
myb boss is on you know, back in the old
days in the old country online, and they think they
all have anonimity and all that, and I that's just whatever.
I just block them or mute them. Usually the way
you get blocked is to threaten me. That's normally will
lead to a block. If you threaten my life, I
know it. I think that's fair. Like Rob Parker, I
have this conversation Robert, block you if you you say
(09:13):
you don't like the color of the shoes. He just
bought the air Jordan's you know, block But I'm not
like that. He's the Derek Carr of our network. He
just he just goes for it. Rob's like, and I
tried to you were there actually the Super Bowl thing.
I tried to explain to Rob, just mute people. Mute
People's great because they don't know that they're not part
of the conversation, so they keep sending you the offensive stuff,
(09:35):
but you don't see it, so out of sight, out
of mind. Like I muted a lot of people. You
annoy me. I mute you. I don't care keep him
in the Twitter fold. Yeah, the way I look at it,
they don't. The company does not pay me to be
on Twitter. I'm paid to do a radio show. That's bonus. Like,
I don't need to put up with people's books. You've
got your own issues. See a therapist. I'm not your therapist, Okay,
(09:57):
And and and and work it out. I hope. I
hope he's improved for you. But it's not my job
to work it out for you. And if you know
you have a problem with an opinion, there's this on
off button on the radio. You can turn it on,
you can turn it off or amazing, there's like a
zillion other radio stations. Same thing with a podcast. So
it's like I said, Danny, when I go to a restaurant,
if I do not enjoy the meal at the restaurant,
(10:18):
I don't go back to the restaurant. I move on.
That's it. If there's a snail in the sandwich I ordered,
I'm like, Okay, I don't I don't like snails. I'm
I'm out of here. But I don't stand there. You
don't go back to the restaurant and shoot the chef. No,
and I'm not. I'm not concerned. Maybe I should consider that,
but I've not done that, and I certainly don't stand
outside the restaurant like a dog barking. You know. I'm
(10:41):
not doing that, man, So it has it? Have you
been threatened? Any been radio a long time? Has anyone
threatened you? Yeah? I worked at a rock station when
I was a kid. There was a couple of different
guys who called up every night for a certain song,
and I know that they were part of the same
party because they were just really oxious about this song
(11:01):
they wanted. For whatever reason, the song wasn't on those
radio stations playlist, so I could not play it even
if I wanted to. There wasn't a copy of it there.
I couldn't play it, and they threatened me. It got
to the point where they came by the studios and
they shot paintball guns at the windows. Good day, sir.
(11:21):
They were just so pissed about you know, how dare
I not play the song they wanted? As a kid,
I was like, holy sh it, Like people are that
passionate about wanting a song played. It's not even like
they recorded the song. I think it was by the
Red Hot Chili Peppers, but it was an album cut
that wasn't on the playlist. There's nothing I could do. Yeah,
(11:42):
that's that's that's crazy. I actually wasn't. Are we allowed
to tell the story? I don't know we're allowed. I
think we could tell the story. I was at the
Fox Sports radio studios, trying to think it was probably
been almost fifteen years now, maybe maybe a little less,
but around fifteen years. I was there on a Sunday
night and uh got shot at. The student got shot at,
(12:05):
but a dumb thing to do. We tested whether or
not the bulletproof class actually works, and it does. And
we also found out the bulletproof glass is very expensive
to replace, and when it is shot, people don't like
to necessarily replace said bulletproof Class because they have to
spend a lot of money replacing it. But it did work,
(12:28):
and that is also one of those nights that I
will I will remember for some time. That was when
I first started at the company. They referred to those
as the Ben Mallard panels. There's been a lot of
interesting things at the corner of Ventura and S. Paul.
But we're moving out of those studios. We'll have to
do at some point a retrospective of the craziest, aniest
(12:50):
things that happened at the original Fox Sports radio studios
when they moved to burr Bach in a couple of
months before you know it, they do. We have an
update on that if you heard anything, if there has
been any more scuttle buttters, it's still August, Yeah, August,
It's still what we've been hearing. And of course the
famous stories about how that location used to be a Denny's,
(13:11):
yes before the network moved into the space, and that's
why some huge cock roaches still come out of the ceiling.
The cock roaches. My my favorite is when of all
the critters is when the skunk gets into the air
conditioning system and there's no windows, you can't open up
the windows, and it just reeks of for for hours.
(13:33):
Been the first time that happened. When I was there,
I was like, where's Coop? Where's Well? I think we
we know what Coop was doing there? Absolutely, Who the
heck is justin Cooper? Yeah, And it was always like
you knew when it started it was gonna be there
(13:53):
for a while, Like you just had to you had
a bucker down because that smell was just gonna be wait,
it was terrible. Oh my god, I don't miss that.
I don't know. I don't have that at the remote study. Alright,
who is next? He come back? It's sim that's right.
Patricia from Vegas, formerly of New England the Boston area.
(14:14):
She says, Hey, Ben, we know how long you've been
at FSR, but how long has Danny been with the company?
All right, so Patricia would like to know your employment history.
Danny g oh, I feel like I'm on a job
interview right now. Uh. Well, I'm a team player except
for the people I don't work well with, which is
half the staff. Along with everyone except the people you
(14:38):
don't Yeah. Yeah, I got hired by Fox Sports Radio December. Okay, yeah,
and it was for your show and the Jason Smith
Show with Mike Harmon. Are we got time for a
short one? Jeremy and san Diego says, I hate that
(14:58):
women expect men to always pick up the tab on
first dates and second third How do I get a
girl to pick up the tab for me instead? You say,
oh damn, I left my wallet at home. Uh no,
you know, you pay as much as you can and
spoil her and then she'll spoil you back here you go,
(15:20):
or just be really good looking. Yeah, I remember you
replaced Jake Warner, right, he was in for Jake. Jake
had taken a job. Did he go to I think
Jake took a teaching job, only we were in a school.
I think up late with Jake he did for his
alma mater. He took a job in the counseling office.
Is there something to help kids with? Stay? Yeah? Stay
(15:43):
awake with Jake. That was awake. That was his a
bit that he did. And now I'm done, and he
throwed the microphone down. And now he's got his own
podcast and we saw him. Yeah, well he was doing
some stuff out there, so he's doing very well. I've
been on his podcast. He's been on this podcast, so
you have. And of course he got to do a
rant about something that was bothering him every week. That
(16:04):
was his bit. I did Tinderroni chips and now it's
cooking with Roberto. Jake told me. I think he might
have said this on the Piace that his podcast, which
is I think just about Jake, has a tremendous female listenership,
which is I mean, good for Jake, but it's it
(16:25):
seems I don't know that's what he say, he swore.
I guess maybe he talks about relationships stuff or something
like that. But yeah, I think he does it. Do
a little bit of that. Okay, all right, And he's
Devin Air. That's right, that's right, he's unless he's not.
He's yeah, I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah, alright,
Kevin from Kansas. Kevin from Kansas says, Hey, Bett, if
(16:50):
you don't mind sharing sharing some more insider information. You
do a lot of show prep. When do you get
this done? Is it throughout the day? Do you have
set hours? Inquiring lines would like to know? So it's
kind of an all day think, Kevin. I'm always like
looking to see if there's anything that's gonna be good
talk radio, and I try to talk about something different
(17:13):
all four hours, and some days that's harder than other days.
And so anytime a story pops up, I'm like, okay, like,
what's my angle on that? Number one? What's my angle? Uh?
Number two? Is that something that would be good? Do
people actually want to hear that? And then number three
is always is there something better? Can I find something better?
(17:35):
Which is number three? F me up? Danny because I
I spend a lot of time thinking I can find
something better, and some days you just gotta kind of
go with it. So that's usually it. But it's it's
off and on all day, but we're really about six
hours before the show. We really get cooking about six
hours before the show, and we're on at night, so
(17:56):
it's oftentimes something will happen right now the NBA is
going on, so it'll be some story that will take place,
and obviously I don't know what's going to happen until
it happened, so I kind of have to play that out.
But usually there's a couple of stories that happened early
in the day that are gonna still have legs at night.
NFL moves or rumors and things like that. So you
(18:18):
and like we got to talk about a little bit
on yesterday's podcast during the pandemic, number three really came
in handy, Yeah, exactly. That helps help, That helps you out, Kevin.
But that's the that's the de leo on some of
the show prep and it's as you know, Danny, you've
been doing this for a while too. You just like
(18:38):
you're always trying to find something and you're hoping somebody
will text you something that you can go with and yeah, yeah,
last week, for instance, we got the Calvin Ridley story, Yes,
that's right, and then the Aaron Rodgers and uh, of
course the Denver Broncos story with Russell Wilson on the
same day, and then the baseball thing the next day.
(19:00):
And so for us, it's like boom boom boom, and
you know, you get to have your say on on
what's going on, and when there's that much action, it
makes the show even that much more exciting. Yeah, like
those are the days I think anybody could do the show,
like when there's a big but the day is where
you earn your money is when there's a little less
going on and you have to really really dig and
(19:22):
you use your mind and theater of the mind, right,
theater of the mine. That's what it's all about. Okay,
you don't need to yell Lugo from Lancaster, California, the
High Desert former home of the Lancaster Jet Hawks until
Rob Manford decided to kill the Lancaster Jetawks. Uh, Lugo says, uh,
(19:42):
Rob Manford has punished Major League Baseball fans more than
he did the Stros. Your thoughts, well, Lugo, you're correct. Uh.
And every time I see Rob Manford, I think there's
a clown right there. What are you doing? You lose
their just a piece of metal? Yeah, just a big
hunk of metal. Uh and uh what a wonderful leader
(20:05):
of business? Rob Manford is pathetic? And uh, you know
how I feel about that, Lugo. Chris and Marrick cocaa
IOA writes and he says, how would you go? This
is actually an interesting mind biddening question. He says, how
would you go about hiding or laundering one million dollars
(20:27):
you found buried accidentally to make sure friends, family, and
the taxman don't find out? So what is the best
way to launder money? It seems like this might be
an illegal question. He also says, go raiders. So he's
on your team and he Chris is a Chris and
Mary cocad io was a big fan of that, right
he is, Uh, So how would you launder money? I
(20:51):
think you'd go to a place like Vegas? Right, you
would go to a place like Vegas and you would
get you'd get a bunch of you put a much
of money down, maybe make one bet cash out wouldn't
that be a way to do it? You know, I'm
trying to think, like, again, we have the answer for you,
(21:12):
all right, what's the answer arbis? We you got the meats,
just invest in a bunch of Arbies and that's all
a facade for the mob anyways, there's no real Arby's. Yeah,
you go there and it's like, you know, you get
the beef and you get I heard you the first time.
You don't need to play that again? What's wrong? Uh? Yeah,
(21:33):
I've never spent I'm not spent a lot of time
on that. But you gotta think like swap meets places
like that, right, not a lot of places that deal
in in cash. But I would like to have that problem.
That's a problem with I was gonna say that's a problem.
Will research down the road when we run into being wonderful, wonderful,
(21:54):
wonderful like Travis from Roseberg, Oregon says, you guys had
mentioned the delicious smelling bacon wrapped hot dogs at the
Super Bowl. How closed did Ben come to trying one out?
Once you try bacon, you never go back. Travis says,
no buns. You have these maids I want. I didn't
(22:14):
come that close. I love the smell of it, and
that's a traditional l A smell when you go to
like sporting events in l A. Any of the teams,
it's it's the bacon wrapped hot dogs, and it's the corn.
This is it the sweet Mexican corner? Is that what
it is? Roberto actually did that this week. I'm cooking
with Roberto. But yeah, I've I've had bacon. I've just
(22:35):
had turkey bacon. I haven't had the authentic swine bacon,
which is which is the most popular and so but uh,
I don't. I don't think at this point. It's kind
of like coffee. If I like to brag about I've
not had a cup of coffee and I go to
Starbucks with my my wife and I'll get like lemonade
or not not lemonade. They have like a t thing.
(22:55):
I'll do that. But I think I'm I'm good in
that at a department. All right, let's see who's next.
We have Jason and Rocky Mount Virginia says, Hey, guys,
I believe it was Queen Roxanne who recommended this before
football season when the gas can was there. Can we
get the podcast dropped earlier in the day. I love
(23:16):
the podcast, I'll listen whenever, but it is more convenient
earlier on weekends. Well, I thought we had figured that out.
Now I don't know, Danny. On Friday, we're not allowed
to drop the podcast early because it interferes with my
podcast from the radio. So we have to we have
to separate, uh that with the time it out and
(23:37):
has to be with you know, so it's at the
normal time fight But on Saturday and Sunday we can
we can fire it off early, right, I fire it
off as soon as it's ready to go, so okay, Yeah,
there's post production involved. Every time you say fucking your
filthy mouth, I don't know what you're talking about. Ben's
curse words need to be believed. Please come on, how
(23:57):
dare you? But yeah, we try to get it done.
I think the goal had been like four am on
Saturday and Sunday, but it is. It's usually upright around
that time, sometimes even earlier, so you know, it varies,
but it's always in that six am window. Well, Jason
is in Rocky MoU so it's at seven and be
(24:18):
or four would be at seven in how early are
you getting up Jason? Saturday sleep in, dude, it's you
know you get up that early on Saturday, don't you?
Maybe you do, I don't know. Valls fan Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee. Right,
since this, we're both of you. If you could coach
any team in any league, he said, holdies, I didn't
play the right I didn't play the right sound bite,
(24:40):
and and these guys get upset, Danny, when I don't
play the right sound bites, they get angry. They said,
why didn't I get my little sound by a? Sorry
about that call? All right? Anyway, Jimmy says, if you
could coach any team in any league, what would it be?
You can bring two assistants with you from fs are uh?
(25:01):
He says, no l A Clippers, no l A Dodgers,
no l A Lakers, no l A Rams or Las
Vegas Raiders. What Yeah, she can't coach any of the
teams that we like. Okay, Um, I would I would
have fun managing the Boston Red Sox, that is, I
think that would be if coaching the like the Patriots,
(25:23):
like a town like Boston where there's a big passion
passion for sports and all that, I think that would
be fun. So I would. I would enjoy that. But
those are all great jobs. Like is there really a
bad job? Like, if you're managing the Toronto blue Jays,
is that a bad job? You're people like the blue Jays,
you're in Toronto, if you're the coach of the Toronto Raptors,
is that from a quality of life perspective? I think maybe? Uh,
(25:47):
Like the Miami Marlins would be great because nobody cares
about the team. You live in Miami and you've got
the great weather. There's a lot of games in baseball,
So maybe you'd rather coach the Dolphins or the Miami Heat.
But what about you, Danny. I would take you and
Clay Travis with me to the New York Knicks. Yeah.
(26:08):
The reason why I would pick the Knickerbockers is because
we could turn basketball around in the city of New York.
The glory days from the seventies would be back again. Ben,
You'd look like the big former player turned assistant. You
would just be my Finally would be my assistant. I
(26:29):
would tell him to go do things, uh and handle
pr That would be great on Twitter, Ben, The first
move I would make is I would trade for Lebron
James and make you his special coach. Wow, that's just
what I need. That's just you know, I don't know,
(26:49):
I don't know nothing about gott it. So well, if
you if the Knicks ever became good again, I don't
know that we'll see that in our lifetimes because they blow,
But if they ever really became good and all those
you'd be hanging out with hedge fund guys, Fall Street,
fat cats, the robber barons of business that all are
in Manhattan, and they like their sports and supermodels and
(27:10):
they'd give you like insider tips on what to bet on.
And you know I'm talking about Wall Street here, right,
and you know that's how that goes, right. They're not
they're not legally supposed to do that, but I have heard,
and maybe I've heard wrong, Danny, but I have heard
that the phones are the phones are ringing there, and
that they do they do give some tips. So yeah, yeah,
(27:33):
imagine owning the city of New York. That would be
pretty sweet. It would be pretty pretty cool, for sure.
I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah, alright, Pierre
from Springfield, Massachusetts. How many Pro Basketball Hall of Fame
where Muffett McGraw is enshrined and Pierre says, I know
you've got an itchy trigger finger with your sound effects
(27:56):
machine over there, much like Leslie Neils who was notorious
for his pocket fart machine. He says there. Uh, he says.
My question is for Danny and whether he adds his
drops in real time or does he add them in
post Sometimes when you don't react to them, it makes
it seem like they were added later. Also, Uh, if
(28:18):
you haven't yet checked out the Mallard Town podcast, I
would recommend episode thirty for some very clear, half pint audio,
much different than what we are used to. All Right,
that's from Pierre, so uh. Pierre's impressed that sometimes Danny
you try to throw me off my game, but I'm
(28:39):
so stone faced at times that it seems like you
put certain drops in later. But it's just me being
a professional broadcast. Well, I wish I could go along
with that story, but we've talked about this on the
podcast before. I do add stuff post production. But to
be fair, on the live radio show all those years
(28:59):
with you would slip drops in and you would ignore
me then too the man enjoy me. Well, yeah, because
I you know, I'm I'm on the train. Chue true
you know, I'm going down the tracks and just it's
all about the timing of the drop anyways, it's not
about your reaction to a drop. Yeah. And I have
not had a chance to hear the Mallard Town podcast
(29:21):
with half point, but I have not heard a half
point call the show. I'm worried about her. Hope she's okay.
It's very ugly what happened with beer drinking, Brian dying
and then the family his family and getting upset. I
guess with the finances. I don't know what's going on
with that, but it's uh a little a little awkward,
a little awkward. So I hope everything ends up well
(29:43):
for all involved. Uh. Next up on the old mail bag? Yes, uh,
let's see here we have Oh, here's a here's a
couple of fan favorites. Helen and Stu and Palmettow Bay
Florida says be and Danny g and Ukraine President lens
a Jew. May your strength be firm, h Ben. Uh
(30:06):
will save discussing the prose of working nights in Montana's
oldest profession for another day. That sounds like that's a shot.
And a certain female in Montana who who loves this show. Uh,
and Helen says, as Stu and I finish up this week,
the last leg of our RV road trip here in Orlando,
(30:28):
that sounds like fun. Let's begin with a timely fifth
hour joke and end with a question. As for the joke,
what's the difference between a Republican and a Ukrainian? Helen says, Uh,
The answer is a Ukrainian defends their capital. Wow, look
at you? How dare you? Helen? How dare you? It
was very threatening those guys walking around with American flags
(30:51):
at the capital. All right, Uh, she says. Ben asked
for the question, who's more disappointed and heartbroken? Is how
their other kids ives turned out? Johnny Manziel's parents Paul
and Michelle or your show producer Justin Cooper's parents Fletcher
and Marie signed Helen and Uh and Stu man they are,
(31:14):
they are firebrands. They are they're going for it wrong? Yeah, no,
they are. I'm sure Cooper still got he's got. I
think he's done pretty well for him. Like he had
a bunch of acting games when he was a kid,
so yeah, and he invested his money wisely. Yeah, So
I think he's he's good. And Johnny Manzel his family
(31:36):
came from old money, right. The Manzel family had old
old texts money, his oil money. So crude. When you
when you don't have to worry about paying your bills
and you don't have to worry about losing a job
because you don't have to worry about paying your bills,
then you you act very reckless. I remember as a
kid and I played Donkey Kong Danny, and if I
(31:56):
didn't really concern myself with how I was gonna do,
it was like carrying that noise. I don't care reckless.
So anyway, uh, next up, let's see here we have
a Moleman. Long message from mole Man. He says, Ben etcetera. All,
I mean a long time Mallard devotee. It's started with
(32:19):
sleep difficulties, and now I don't know if you are
the cause of or the cure of my occasional insomnia.
He says. I love the show, love the podcast, love
the Fifth Hour, very kind of talked about the work
ethic here I have subscribed to unlike both what maslet,
thank you God, bless you, love the Gang and irreverence
(32:42):
and the entire stick. I'm usually an I heart listening
occasionally terrestrial radio, and I'm a fan of all things
Mallard except that seven minute long Novo Nordisk commercial. He says, Well,
that commercial is so good it's its own podcast. It's
(33:03):
like a podcast within a podcast. That commercial anyway, says
lame jokes, Coop Scoop cooking with the Berto anything. Eddie
h points for him being a pirate Steeler fan have
become must listen radio. Thankfully, I can listen later if
I happen to actually fall asleep at night like you,
who I am a self described a logo file and
(33:25):
if you have to look that up, which I do, uh,
he says uh. I also like meat cooked well done,
financially financial frugality, so we have that in coverage. I
guess you validate my very existence. Yea. Well, we we
share a similar similar wants and desires in life, a
(33:46):
burned up piece of meat, and and then also not
blowing your money, not being reckless with your money. Uh,
he says Danny g Uh. He says, Danny G gag on,
and he says, you're better. He says, here, Danny g
it's not even closest. Wow, he says, some honor. People
are likable and become one's friends. Others are hard to endure.
(34:10):
I'll leave it at that. Uh, you know what's up.
Thank you for delivering us from the collateral damage of
exposure to the ego I shots fired. Now, he says,
he's gonna get to the point. But he did say,
Danny you are He says, you're smart, funny, interesting, and
a normal nice dude. Wow, which the bosses felt that way. Yeah,
(34:31):
this is actually sent by Don Martin. I know anyway,
Uh says, I'll get to the point. He says, two
weeks ago, you and Danny G were discussing the word oliguard. Hell, yes,
I love the word, and it seems timely, so I
want to nominate a new phrase of your official nickname list,
which I love, by the way, and got all off
(34:52):
the whole thing here one of these days. And don't
let Danny G talk you out of it. It's awesome
incorporating most exciting word to wit Uh, he says. Uh.
He says, how about the oligarch of after dark, the
oligark of overnight, or the overnight oligarch? Make it stop? Well, No,
those are all great suggestions, but which one will stick
(35:14):
the Oligarch of after dark, the Oligarch of Overnight, or
the overnight Oligarch. M hm, I kind of like the
oligarch of after dark. But what do you think? Which
one of those do you? Do? You like? Daddy? I
don't like nicknames. It's wrong with you. He lost your way,
he became an old, grumpy man. How there you. You
(35:37):
know it's my job to drop drops on you when
you try to give us a long list of nicknames.
But I agree with this guy. I agree with this guy,
mole Man that that oligarch is a fun word to say.
That's fine. I just thought that this was gonna lead
in to your usual bit about all your nicknames. So
I'm happy that you're mature enough to not do your
(35:58):
entire list of nicknames. Well, Danny, listen, you know I'm
a I'm a grown up, I'm an adults wrong. Yeah,
So I have been called the spin master of misinformation,
the bannering broadcaster, the Beethoven of Bascar, mudgeon of commentary,
Chasm of sarcasm csars. Any dark night of weeknight sports
(36:18):
radio can do a thing like this, Mogul of mischief,
Benny the Brazen King of zing money, mall Mallard, I'm fellasweep,
Benny the Bopper, Facetious Fox, Sultan of insulted, the Shaman
of schaden freude, Jumping Jack of wisecrack, Insight of Overnight Medicine,
(36:40):
Man Mallard, Miller, Naybob of negativity, Sage of Outrage, Pinnacle
of cynical What kind of radio show are you guys? Do?
The Prince of Preposters, Professor of propaganda, Oh no, we
shock again, Huszar of high Purpole, and the mad Hatter
(37:03):
of sports chatter. And that's just some of my officially
sanctioned nicknames, just a small dose of the nicknames. There
needs to be a new one added in there. About
bulletproof glass well, the older Gark of after Dark, the
older Gark of overnight, about the bulletproof gas bag, glass bag,
(37:26):
glass bag, glass bags. See, what's what rhymes with? Oligarch?
Rhymes with the word. That's not a word that would
have a lot of rhymes, is it? Yeah? No, park
dark sark. Well, there you are, the Oldagark of dark. No, no, yeah,
that's actually good. Do you like that? The older dark
(37:48):
of dark? Oh man, I can't believe I gave you
another one. There you go, they see we moll Man,
we've done this on the air. I mean, let me
let me write down a note here, the older garc
of dark. I think it works. I feel dirty right now,
like I need a shower because I'm part of this.
Now that's great. It can be another nick name to
add on to the nickname roll call, and we can
(38:10):
thank the mole Man. He says. I am always interested
in your take on all sports news events. Your monologues
are great. He says, you are the lone rational voice
in a noisy sea of pomp, mediocrity and stupid filler.
There you Sorry for the novel, he says, rock on, dude,
that's from mole Man. Well, it's very kind, mole Man.
(38:34):
And if you'd like to be my publicist, please send
me another message and we'll we'll make that happen. He
also says, f baseball, I'm sick of those whiney rich pricks.
He says, wow, well harsh uh. Let's see who is
next year? Any me? I got mail yea, I got
mail ya all right. Carlos in Houston, Texas says Ben.
(38:57):
A few weeks ago, you guys had a conversation about
Fox Sports Radio Alumni the Alumni Association. So my question is,
who is the one guy who absolutely hated working with
passed or present goes for you as well as Danny
g And also, will you guys be attending any minor
league games? Well, I haven't thought that far ahead, Carlos.
(39:18):
I love minor league baseball. I would love to get
to a game or two. And now we've always refrained
from answering this question, Danny, the Fox Sports Radio Alumni Association,
the people that you hated working it is for the
very reason I gave already on the podcast this weekend.
Because there's snitches, Yeah, exactly, and people they they will
(39:39):
the people we are going to name would not hear this,
but somebody that is listening would say, Hey, I heard
mallor ripped you. What's up with that? You know, certain
people are just wired, They're wired that way, Carlo. So
that is a non answer answer, which you just got, Carlos,
was a non answer. I'll give you one because I
don't know his name. We're still trying to figure it
(40:00):
out that one host that would fill in for you sometimes,
and we thought we kept going off the air because
his pauses were so long. Oh yeah, I remember you
guys telling me about that. You can't think of his
name though he's not on the network anymore. It's not
that I hated him, but I hated doing the shifts
when he was on because we constantly thought that we
(40:20):
lost the satellite link. Yeah it was he was he Ohio,
that guy? Where was he yet? Do you remember where
he was? No? I thought he was in Vegas. I
could be wrong, but I mean it's a far cry
from you, where sometimes it's hard to fit a drop
in because you won't give me a breath. And this
guy would pause so long you could drive an entire
(40:43):
train through the pause. Yeah. Like, I'm always like, I
gotta keep going because if there's a dead area, people
tune out. They don't want to keep listening. They're like, yeah, boring.
You're thoughtful with what you say, so sometimes you're a
deep thinker and you think about what you're saying. And
that's fine. But this guy would and man Fred should
(41:08):
really think about it, and he did that like constantly
through a monologue, to where there were ten times we
thought we went off the air. It was painful. Wow,
that is this craziness slapped me around a little bit.
I've had my run ins with some former athletes that
have passed through the building. Let's just leave it at that,
and uh, you know, be careful because some of them
(41:29):
end up. It's like a boomerang Danny. They leave and
then they come back. They leave and then they come back.
It's sign from I robbed from Lincoln, Nebraska, where when
I was a kid, Nebraska football was like right at
the top with Oklahoma. They've sucked for twenty plus years,
it seemed. But anyway, Robin Nebraska says, does Roberto bring
(41:53):
in any of the food he makes on the Cooking
with Roberto segment? Well, he he had in the past.
I'm not sure about recently. I've been doing the show
remotely from the remote studio, so I don't know if
that's the case. But the food was delicious, and he'd
usually bring in some tupper wear and they'd have to
have the food in there. Who is next year? All right?
(42:13):
Mike from Fullerton in southern California says, when you were
a kid, what cars did you think were the coolest,
real and fictional. Well that's a product growing up in
the mostly the eighties. I love the the eight Team
Van I thought was really cool. The the Batmobile was awesome.
(42:34):
Uh that night Rider car kit kit from the David
Hasselhoff I thought I was pretty neat. Those are the
three that popped into my head. Any cars any I
did the fictional? Uh you want to do the non fiction? Yeah,
well one more fictional. How about the Duke's a hazard car.
That's another one. Yeah, the Dukes wuld go on all
(42:55):
those jumps or the Jetson's plane thing George insert jets
in sound effect here, kitchen. They had. The sound effect
(43:22):
of that car is one of the greatest futuristic sound effects. Uh,
let's see. And now do you want real cars? Uh? Yeah, sure,
wonder Oh here we go, I got I found it
this um. You know when I was a little kid,
I you know, we loved it when Sports Illustrated came
(43:45):
in the mail Remember that feeling? It was great. Yeah,
the smell of it, the pages, you said, oh yeah,
running from the mailbox. I would tell my older brother
it's here. And I remember flipping through the pages as
a little kid. I was a small kid an elementary
school and there was a picture of Marcus Allen standing
(44:05):
in front of his jet black d R Testa Rosa
and that was it for you right there, you were smoke.
It looked fast. Yeah, And I remember doing research on
the car afterwards and asking my mom about it, and
she told me, well, you're gonna have to play football too,
if you want one of those. That's good motherly advice.
(44:28):
You want that, well, uh, yeah, you gotta. You know,
you end up like Randy Moss at something and you'll
be in you'll be in good shape. But was there
a car when you were a kid that caught your eye?
You know? Not, not really. I was more into like
the uh the ones from the shows I watched. I
didn't really get into cars until I got a little older,
(44:51):
so there really wasn't one. I was like, wow, I
gotta get that. But I always loved I was such
a loser. I was like, I love my My grandparents
had this RV and when they never took us on
the road, they took my cousins on the road because
my parents couldn't get off work. So they take the
cousins and they go on these summer vacations for like
(45:11):
a month. They'd go to all over the country. And
I remember before they would leave, we would all hang
out and I got to run through the r V,
and as a kid, I thought that was like the
coolest thing ever. You bring your house on the road
with you, and it was like really nice and it
was awesome. But but as far as like a speed
car anything like that, not really. I wish I had
(45:32):
a great answer, but I don't. Let's see what is
next year, any meany I thought that RV was great
until they had you empty the uh the waste receptacles.
Oh yeah, that's the funny thing is I was told
that they would go on the road and then they
would stay at hotels anyway, So what's the point of
it's a gas gust there? I don't gas was cheaper
(45:54):
back then, but it seems like the cheapest. I remember
gas under a dollar. It briefly got under a dollar.
It was I couldn't tell you when, but I remember
running we drove by the gas station. It was like
no ninety seven cents or something like that in California,
obviously before the gas tax kicked in and all that.
(46:16):
I remember like it was it had been for a
while when I first started driving, because I'm old, it
had been like, uh, two dollars and twenty cents or
something like that, and then it slowly would go up
and then eventually got to three dollars, and then it
got to four dollars and lately has been you know,
to the moon, to the moon. Yep, I got five
(46:38):
dollars and seventy nine cents yesterday. Um, I think I
paid five fifty earlier this week. That was and I
don't get gas as much as you probably do, but
it was five fifty. People. You talk to people who
have worked in the oil industry, like behind the scenes,
and they'll tell you that it's just complete bullshit. The
way that they adjust the oil price is and they
(47:02):
always panic before. They panic first, and then we'll adjust after.
So they'll you will end up paying more at the
pump because of panic. What could happen, not what's actually happening.
What could happen, And they raised the prices up, and
then when it doesn't happen, it's not like they give
(47:23):
you a discount and say, Okay, we were wrong. Insurance
you don't get any of it back for not using it. No,
and most insurance, let's be honest here, I've had to
file claims with various insurance companies over the years. They
they want you to pay the premium, but they don't
if you you actually need the insurance. They try to
find every reason not to pay you the insurance. That's
(47:45):
normally how that goes. So it's like, what are we
paying for? This is where I wish Tom Looney still
worked out the network so I could psyche the gas
out of his car. Yeah, well, let's please, we can
take the I'll take the tires off, you take the
gas out. Were good? Were good on that? Uh quotation?
For Danny g As, he still travel he said, he
(48:07):
said quotation, but he meant question. He misspelled question quotation.
Why would direct quotation if you make questions anyway? And
why would I read it? He says. For Danny g As,
he still travels with the studio. How much did you
have to cry when you last filled up your vehicle?
And have you asked for a raise from the I
Heart people to accommodate you. That's from Big Gregg in
(48:30):
Iowa insert left track here, thank you. And this is
where we point out we work for Fox Sports Radio,
not Fox Sports Television. We work for I Heart Radio
and as rich as Troy Aikman and these NFL broadcasters
(48:51):
are for some reason that I don't. I don't understand
what this is. It has not it has not gone
down to radio. Yeah, it hasn't quite trickled down to us.
And also, I got an email last week from my
Heart giving employees the first crack at buying I Heart
Music Festival tickets for Las Vegas. Man, it's a deal.
(49:14):
Eight hundred and eighty two dollars for one ticket? Are
you serious? I'm gonna get ten of them. Eighty two
for one ticket. Now, I get it. It's a huge festival.
It's a two day event, but for either Friday or Saturday,
not eight eight two for both days, eighty two for
one of the days. I'm sure you could resell that
(49:38):
for a couple of thousand bucks. But people are nuts
with what they'll pay for a concert. What's the most
you've paid for a concert? Probably a couple of hundred bucks.
There's no way I would go over two hundred dollars
for a concert ticket. When I was in Vegas, I
almost went to see Billy Joel. He was performing at
the uh The Stadium the Raiders team. Yeah, I didn't
(50:02):
do it. Now if it was yeah, now, if it
was a rock and roll band on their final tour.
Something special like that, almost like the super Bowl of
rock or hip hop something like that. I could understand
you paying a lot of money for that, But to
go see a top forty act that is on top
of the world right now, Oh, let's go see Drake.
(50:24):
Tickets are only six hundred dollars now, that's okay, I'm
cool on that. Um. Yeah, Like, who's one of the
Beatles guy? What's his name? Paul McCartney's performing in l A.
I think right, yeah, people have been complaining about his
ticket prices. Yeah, but he's how old is Paul McCartney?
I know it's like your last opportunity, right And the
(50:45):
same thing is going on right now in London at
the end of March, is going to be the last
show for Phil Collins in Genesis. Yeah, and so something
like that I would pay a lot. Man. As far
as gas, I can't really answer that because I don't
sit there and fill up my entire tank. I'm one
of those people where I think I'm saving money if
(51:08):
I get the gas in thirty Okay, I got you, Yeah,
Because I'm always on the lookout for the best gas
station well, this gas stations five seventy nine. Surely I'm
gonna find a gas station for five forty nine, So
I'll do forty here and I'll do forty there. So
I bounced around. This sounds like if you were watching
(51:31):
T n T the other night during the week Shock.
They were having a conversation about gas prices and Shock
that was his I think it was Shock. He was
trying to Kenny Smith and yeah, he was trying to
explain you. Uh. One of them was saying, I forget whish,
but they was saying, like, you fill up like you do, daddy,
we just put thirty or Philip halfway or whatever. It's
(51:52):
like a mine trick where it's you don't feel it
as much because you're not you're not paying for the
full tank. And it's so bad. Are they put limits
the credit cards? They used to put limits on for
a while, you couldn't spend more than like fifty bucks,
and then they raised it to seventy five. But the
price of gas now is so crazy they might have
(52:12):
to raise the price of you know, the limit on
the credit card again. Oh yeah. A friend of mine
posted a picture where she put a hundred and twenty
seven dollars into her SUV one two seven is insane
and it's probably gonna get her what three miles maybe
if she's lucky, you know, and the way these things go.
Oh thank god, I don't have a V eight anymore.
(52:34):
Although my car only takes premium, and I know you
disagree with that I do. I'm a anti premium. I
put and put the regular gas in. This one of
the great scams of our time, premium guests. It's not
a scam when you have a performance engine in your car. Man,
you can't just you can't put dirt oil into a
race car engine. Scam. You are fake news. You are
(52:56):
a fake moves now you are. He said it to you,
You didn't say it to me. Wrong. Don't use middle
grade because that's still dirty. It's still got the dirt
in it. Got to use premium to get that clean cool.
Even surveys study after study how much money Americans waste
on premium gasoline where they don't need it. You'll get
(53:17):
the knocks and the pings in that jet engine if
you use that dirt oil. Yeah, all right, let's see
who is next year? Any meany mint? All right? This
is John and Northern Colorado resubmitted. He says, what is
your favorite road food? What is your favorite road trip food?
(53:38):
I prefer slim Jim's and Twizzlers and the occasional fig Newton,
He says, John, I'm I love there's this trail mix
that I get from. I don't know if I should
name the story. I just one of the big box stores.
It's got and it's got like a bull's eye logo,
and they have this trail mix which has no nothing
(54:02):
good in it. It's just like cash shoes, peanuts, M
and M's. And then they've got these uh, these caramel
chocolate things. It's wonderful and that is my guilty pleasure
on the road. And my wife bought a bunch of stuff.
We like tons of snaxt night. I try to explain her.
(54:23):
I don't really eat that much these days, very rarely.
I did this past weekend. I went for it on
the road trip, but very rarely do I eat that much.
But she went crazy with that. So, what what's your
go to snack? Danniel put the baby to bed here soon?
What's your go to snack? My tender Roney does a
great job hooking it up from Trader Joe's. She'll get
the turkey jerky, She'll get the white cheese puffs, you
(54:50):
know the Yeah, I know what she's like. The pirates
booty type stuff is every time exactly that. With some
turkey jerky and some Capri Sun flavored, you're good to go.
Capri Son, that's good. That's a flashback to like high school,
junior high back in the day. Oh yeah, man, Bobo
every Sunday night in the studio he busts out Caprice sons.
(55:11):
I pulled some out of my bag and he looks
at me and he's like, yo, man, we're like brothers.
That's awesome. That's great. I think that's enough. On the
mail Back, we went a little longer than normal this week.
We had one more time, so thanks to everybody, we
didn't get to skip to Zip the official four star
roast manner Master General of the Mallar Misitian Akron Ohio
(55:31):
skips him with the show a long time. He asked
a hard old basketball question, which is really not what
we're looking to do here on the podcast and Brendan
in red Wing, Minnesota, he asked the timeless he wanted
to know how much would a wood Chuck would chuck
if it could Chuck Wood something like that, But we
(55:53):
don't have time for that. But thank you all. We'll
be back on the I'll be back on the terrestrial
radio tonight. Danny's working all day and I'll be back
to night on Fox. That's eleven p m. Sunday night
in the West, two am, two am on Monday in
the East, and we'll be doing four hours of original
audio content. And who knows what's gonna happen, but we
(56:14):
will be there and then we'll be yapping. And even
if nothing happens, we'll still be yapping. Well, whether there's
a lot going on or nothing. Right, that's the rule, Danny, Right,
that's the rule. Yep. Thanks for being part of a
fun weekend. It's been great. Thank you. Keep telling people
and promote the podcast. Get the word out and we'll
talk to you next time. Gotta murder, Gotta go. Population
Host
Ben Maller
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