May 7, 2022 • 38 mins
The fellas serve up a classic Saturday morning, as Ben gets in his wedding attire (and still is gangsta enough to join the podcast), Danny G. goes to audio work. Benny and G. on a classic edition of Tinderoni Tips, with the one and only Mr. Smooth! Clip of Mrs. Tinderoni getting pounded on a So Cal massage table - and - she hops on this podcast for a massage Q/A! Ben Maller once threw to Ben Waller on the radio! The show gets into a heated debate the day the Lakers signed LeBron! Plus, Danny explains the art of the Drop and has a special Maller treat for you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, and a
happy Saturday to you. It is Evergreen Betty with Danny
g Radio. Oh the drama? Have I returned from my hiatus? Wrong?
(00:48):
If I'm still traveling around today? This being Saturday, is
a big day. It's wedding day. The whole point of
me missing all this time from radio show was to
go to a wedding with the in laws. So while
you're listening to this, I'm putting on a clown costume
(01:08):
and and getting ready for a wedding on the shores
of the Atlantic Ocean in North Carolina. So that is
where I am right now. I will be back at
some point to the live radio show. But listen, this
is the podcast the kind of content you want, the
kind of content that you need. But some of the
fun things that have happened on the podcast, some of
(01:29):
the Zeni moments that have taken place on the radio show.
And we put it all together, and I know right
now Danny G's telling me, shuck the fuck. Okay, Danny,
I'm gonna I have to get ready anyway for the wedding.
So here it is make way for the latest Timeless.
It's called The Bank Show of the Fifth Hour with
(01:51):
Ben Mallor and Danny G. And we hope you love it,
five stars. You're probably watching sports your phone at the
wedding right now. Yeah, Well, chances are if I have WiFi,
though it's so far in the boondocks, I might have WiFi.
If I don't have WiFi, heads are going to roll,
(02:15):
all right, Danny G taking back over. So on Friday
we got to hear the great coop Adventure of the
hot Dog. Today Saturday morning, I feel like we should
flashback to Mr Smooth. He is a character from the
Live Ben Mallor show that I get asked about still
to this day. What happened to Smooth? What happened to
(02:36):
Mr Smooth? During the Tenderoni Tips segment. Once a week
he would call in and offer some corny advice, but
it was so corny it was good and of course
he had a golden voice. Good morning, then, dannyd This
old edition of Tenderoni Tips that I found in the
vault includes a call from the one and only Mr
(02:57):
Smooth Tips get a bit of a dry spell. Tinder
Guru Danny G is here to help when you have
a romantic queery and you are under the age of
(03:17):
fifth it and you're not freaking that the gut thin
feet give up the call and it is Tenderoni Tips
are Buddy Danny G Radio, the only single guy on
the show. That's him right there. He's sitting down, he's
putting his headphones on, adjusting the level. We have actual
questions from actual listeners to the show right here on
this piece of paper in front of me. And if
(03:38):
you want to follow along on Periscope, let's user name
Eddie on f s R. And you can also send
us questions as you want as well. We might use
some of yours as we're doing this. These are some
questions that we're sending earlier Tenderoni Tips with Danny G.
The Cincinnati Kid writes in on Twitter says, if your
girl gives you a hall pass? Do you use it
(04:02):
on a five or campaign for a celebrity date? Oh,
this is just like sports, go big or go home.
I gotta go for the celebrity. But what about the
who's the basketball player for the Utah Jazz back in
the day, Andre Carolinko who he had every year? He
had a hall pass a year. You know, then you
can take it like a five. Right if it's one
day a year? Now that one actress? Ben if your
(04:24):
wife gave you a celebrity hall pass? No, I didn't know.
I don't know. I don't know their names. Danny Gye,
who's uh? You were just talking about TMC. I like
their sports stuff. I don't know. I mean I I
watched the show. I I couldn't. That's the thing. Like
I Cooper Loop, who's like he's in movies and stuff.
He knows all these Hollywood do I have no idea
(04:46):
why I see I recognize them. And also because we
live here, I'll see them, you know in l A.
We'll see him around time. I don't know who they are.
I'm like, you have to be really really famous, um so,
but no, you know who's the I like the way
you dodged that who's the most most the curvaceous woman
in Hollywoo? Who would that be? She's like in New
(05:06):
York West Coast, West Coast Megan Good whoever? That is? Sure?
Why not? Alright? Google Googler all Google r A R.
Danny g with tinder RONI tips Casper Blue on Twitter
rights and it says I've taken a tender date out
for dinner twice and she hasn't said thank you either time.
(05:27):
Should this bother me? Yeah? I hate that. This is
a pet peeve of mine. I'm not saying that the
that the lady needs to bend over backwards kissing your
your bootet, but to not even get a thank you after,
you know, paying for a nice meal for a lady,
that's that's a red flag. Yeah, that's uh, that's a
de lete day. I get out of here. The girl,
(05:51):
that's a woman who's just used to getting everything she
wants without having to say thank you to anybody. Yeah,
and that's likely going to be a him like that
if you're the entire time you're with her, she's ungrat
who wants that? All right? Mr Smooth, Mr Smooth his
regular appearance, move time. Good morning, Ben Danny G, Joe Thomas,
(06:15):
and Almund across the nation. Now, Ben, for the last
few weeks, you guys have been inundated with Kate. They're
at the studio. But it's actually a good thing because
it reminds the fellas of something they need to tell
their ladies later on today, and that is been of
all the sweet treats a man can enjoy. Honey, you
(06:35):
are the best of them all because you are the
icing on my gate. I RM, We're we're inundated with sugar.
He's inundated with cheese. I can't get enough of Mr
smoothe work. Jim Listener Jim on Twitter, right, and he's
got a very good question, a very important question. Many
(06:56):
men over generations have tried to answer this question and
women also. Uh, it's really the ultimate question, and you're
the right guy to ask the question, Danny G. When
is it safe defart in front of your day Ah?
I would say never, never know how once you get married,
after that maybe I wouldn't even want to scare my
(07:21):
my future bride like that. I stay, I stay away
from that. That's that's like when we were in the
classroom as kids and the teacher says, Look, you need
to walk outside and handle your business. Do that, but
to the hot box your girl like that. That's just wrong,
that's wrong. So no, yeah, don't do it. No carpet
mom in there all right? Jake in Seattle? Right? Since
(07:41):
is my longtime girlfriend has baby fever and wants a kid,
but I don't one world? Uh is the compromise on
this one? Well that's maybe what would He's in Seattle,
He's not far from Disneyland in Los Angeles. So I
say borrow your nieces and nephews, take him on a
trip with your your longtime girlfriend to Disneyland, stay there
(08:03):
for twelve hours, and by the time that trip is over,
she's not gonna want to have kids anymore. Well that's what.
Or or just go for a dog, you know, just
that's a compromise right now, like a poodle yffrf. That
was back in the Tenderoni Tips days. Now we flash
forward when my Tenderni got jumped at a massage table.
(08:30):
That was one of the most downloaded episodes of the
podcast this past year so far. Chloe, did you hear
about how your mom almost got banged at a massage parlor? Well,
you're in luck because here is the clip of that
fifth hour podcast. Oh and stay tuned because the Queen
(08:50):
Tinderoni herself is going to answer a few questions after
this clip is over, ring bills Ben. She gets home
and tells me about the experience, and I'm losing my mind.
I cannot believe what happened. What happened? So let's sit
(09:14):
in the box. What happened? What's in it? She goes in.
She said everything was fine, and she said they were
burning incense in the lobby and it seemed like a
really cool place. They take her in. The Asian gal
that brought her in, look, she said, did look a
little stout like, kind of buff. So she was like, well,
(09:35):
I am gonna get a deep tissue massage. It looks
like so this lady Ben pulls her underwear down, which
she was not expecting. Uh, jumps up onto the massage table,
straddles my girl, sits on my girl's rare end. It's
(09:55):
going to town on her and and was kept slapping her,
even slapped her ass. My girl did not know what
to do. She said. It was one of those moments
in life where you wonder, am I enjoying this or
(10:17):
is this really strange? What massage is that? That's what
I asked her. I said, how is that a Swedish massage?
And she said, I don't know. I was really confused.
She said, while this lady was straddling her and massaging her,
she was also speaking very strangely in another language and
(10:41):
making noises as she was doing it, so it was
like she was enjoying it more than my girl was. Wow,
she's making strange noises. She's almost hurting her. What about
a pressure she's putting on her? And now she asked her,
you want hot stone? Ten dollars extra hot stone, throw
(11:03):
hot rocks at you. So my Tinderroni says, sure, okay.
Then so she puts the hot stones on her back,
and my Tinderroni said, honestly, it was a nice break
from this lady slapping and hitting me and pushing on
me too hard. So she's laying there with the hot rocks.
But then the massus takes a hot rock and sticks
(11:25):
it in her ass crack whoa whoa, Oh yeah, so man,
she felt violated. It's just like an S and M
type situation here. What do we got going on? I'll
tell you after I go next week. Oh yeah, I'm
trying up for a monthly membership. Yeah. Yeah. So she
(11:51):
also when this lady was done after this very strange
uh rape massage a massage, yeah, she looked at her
and said finished. She didn't ring a bell, like yeah,
I got done. Here we go ring the ring the
victory bell. By the way, she was always she was
(12:12):
also pushing on the side of my girl's chest and
kind of cupping her breasts. And after she after she
would do that, she would tell her this, okay, this, okay,
wow yeah, and my girls like you're doing it already.
What does it matter what I say right now? Well,
Deshaun Watson is probably like, good me give me that
(12:33):
number right there. They come on, hook me up on that.
My goodness. She massaged her butt for ten minutes, man,
and then she didn't have to pay extra for that.
She is, Wow, you should have saw how fast she
ran to the shower when she got home. Yeah. He's like,
I feel like I need a shower and a cigarette
(12:54):
and shower first. And so she was like, where did
you send me? What did you tell this lay the
I needed? No? I was like, no, I swear the
Yelp reviews were good. That's wild. That is crazy, man.
Now we know why the Yelp reviews were good. Yeah,
that was and that was out near you, and that's
(13:14):
part of the l a. Yeah, right on the border
of the San Fernando Valley in Ventura County. Hit me
up in my d M S. I'll give you the
name of the place. You can get a lot of
a lot of messages here, Danny. What's what's this all about? Man?
I just feel bad because I wasn't there. I know
that could have really been You could have recorded the
whole thing. That could have been big on the internet.
That would have been massive. Man. All right, well that
(13:37):
is the gift that she now. Is she okay to
go back and get him out at that place? But
is she or is this gonna like affect her for
massages from now? And she can be like, I'm anti massage.
I don't know. She was so confused about it all
night long. It was funny because when she was in
the shower I heard her bust out laughing, what do
you the hell is she laughing about? In the shower?
(13:59):
And then and she came out she told me, oh
my god, like certain things about the massage keep coming back.
She had already planned on picking up Panda Express for
us for dinner after her massage, so now she didn't
know what to do because she has PTSD or PTS massage. Ye, yes, man,
(14:26):
that's crazy. So what do you think you have? Do
you think the Well, if you go to you know,
a high end spa, they do the thing where they
tuck the the clean sheet by your butt and they
don't go down there. That was classic. And who better
(14:48):
to bring into the fifth hour podcast then my tender
RONI to talk about that experience. Lots of tweets and
lots of questions about it when that episode back in March.
So I'll start with this question. Did I describe the
massus properly? What exactly did she look like? Well? I
(15:09):
didn't see her til the end, which was weird because
my face was down it was dark. Well, you didn't
see her coming to the room with you no face down.
I knew that was coming, so it was a surprise.
But what did she look like once you did see her?
(15:29):
Different than I thought? She was bigger than I thought, more,
a little more manly than I thought. Sexist. Okay, I
got a few tweets in March asking if you would
go back. So, I've thought about this for a while,
drove drove past the place quite a few times. I
(15:50):
bet you did, daydreaming. So I am contemplating it, and
I would say, yes, I'm going back maybe tomorrow. Don't
play it up to the listener is right now? Would
seriously would you really go back? Yes? Wow, all right,
your freak a zoid. Let's see what other questions did
I get asked? Oh, if there was like a meter
(16:12):
from zero to ten, where would you put that experience?
Because at the time you said you were confused about it, Well,
I still am confused, and so that's why you want
to go back to make sure that it was a
weird experience. Yeah, I don't know. I'm in between. I
don't know if I liked it or if it was
I still don't know. I felt good after it, but
(16:32):
I don't know. But yeah, okay, And while we have
you here, A listener actually asked us, I think it
was last weekend's mail bag. In fact, if our significant
others actually listened to the podcast, Ben said his wife
does on Saturday because he tells stories about their family. Now,
do you listen to the Fifth Hour podcast. Oh yeah,
(16:54):
why do you say that all evil? Because I gotta
you know, keep tabs. Wow, falling chain. My life is
over women. Thank you for being on the best of
the best of the best. Thank you for having me.
You're listening to the best of the Fifth Hour. I
(17:16):
didn't even know that was a thing. I'm sure it's
not very long. Why long? But here it is the
best of the best of the best of the Fifth Hour,
you know, JM writes in he says, what was the
other name you said you used when you had a
(17:37):
daytime local show. I never heard about that before, And
he says, ps, I think that beer drinking Brian is
giving you a story about his power and heating being
shut off. He talked about that on the show this week.
JM jam says, I am about nine sure that Missouri
has a cold weather law that you are not alled
(18:00):
to shut off utilities in the winter months. Was he
talking about when you were little Ben Mallett? No, No,
that's how you've typed my name into Google. It comes
up Ben Mallett. But no, uh, this actually was pretty funny.
So I was doing the show at eleven fifty, young
guy and we got some positive pulp. And back in
those days, it was very important to be on in
(18:21):
the l A Times radio TV critic Larry Stewart, and
that was the big deal, like you knew you were
of Everyone in the industry read that column. That was
that was a sign you've made it. And Larry didn't
write a lot about radio. He seemed to enjoy television
more than radio, and so he didn't write about radio much.
(18:42):
But a few times a year he read right, and
maybe more than that, I'm exaggerated. Usually at the end
of his column he'd have a little bit of radio news.
So he wrote a really nice thing about me when
I was a young guy. I was in my early
twenties and he wrote a really nice thing. I thought,
why this is, I've arrived. My mom was impressed, my
dad was impressed. You know people I used to work with.
This like a big deal, right the l A Times,
(19:02):
back when everyone read newspaper and uh, except he wrote
my name, Ben Waller, how my name was in So
I on the air at that time, much like these days,
they made it. I had to do the show and
I had to do updates, and I hated doing the updates.
I just wanted to do the show. I didn't want
(19:24):
to worry about the updates, and they made me do
the updates, and so on the updates, I was Ben
Waller and I'd said I I was like Phil Henry,
like a mental patient. I was throwing to myself, all right,
let's go to the news desk. Here's Ben Waller, you know,
and then I Bill Miller, I'm actually on the live air. Wrong,
(19:44):
it is timeless, and here it is on the fifth hour,
just because he's a Laker. Think you think I'm not
gonna play drop stop it. I believe that you have
ulterior motives now because you've your tattoos and all that stuff.
Now you're gonna play it because I asked for it,
so you'll play it. Stop. I have no problem playing
(20:05):
Lebron James drops. We goof on him all the time.
What does that have to do with him on the
floor as a player. What what's that? Always? It's not
always is different. You've been very different because you're such
a Laker hater and anything we say, you're just gonna
call us houseman. So why open our microphones? Are you
admitting you are a houseman? I'm a Laker fan. You're
(20:28):
you're a houseman for your teams. We all like our team.
He's a difference, though. You guys have been unwilling to
say how bad the Lakers have been. I've been willing
to say, Ben, you just let me say it. But
you would never be willing to give credit where credits
due who no matter who gets credit. You watched you
sign a Lakers are gonna be hoisting up the championship
trophy and you're still gonna come on the year when
(20:52):
it's not sometime four years. You want to bet on that? Yeah,
I want hundred dollars. All right, let's do it, ud
bet right now? You know what. I would love to
bet you. But you don't pay up on your bets
when you lose. Oh really, what bets have I not
paid up on? Tell me give me the list? Go ahead? Uh?
The newby Night when I clearly wanted you, there was
a Mariner fan. It was a regular that you didn't
(21:15):
even know his name. I still don't know his name
right now. What's his name? I have paid up? And
what's his name? Single wager that I have lost? What's
that regular name? Single wager? Yeah, that's what that's what
I thought, and you know you called the man a bit.
You did not want to see Lebron James play for
the Lakers, red herring. And now that he has signed
with the Lakers, now you're gonna win a championship. He's
(21:37):
not gonna win anything. They're not they're gonna win the division.
They're not gonna win nothing. When it comes to the Lakers,
it's a lose lose with you. Nothing whatever, nothing would
ever satisfy you with that organism gets the job. You
call him a loser, you say anything. It was what
he just did. And now you go yours from the
(22:00):
best player in basketball still the best players not the
best player anymore for your Clippers or James Harden just
won the MVP. That's usually the best player. Yes, the
m VPS normally the best player, isn't that nor Michael
Jordan won a championship at thirty four years old? Yeah
you think that? Ron? This you got again? I'm talking
you guys are guys for the We're not absolutely wearing tattoos.
(22:23):
You wear Clippers and Dodgers. You still we talk about
they said that Dave Roberts should be fired the way
the Dodgers. We've we've ripped on the Lakers at times
you're neutral. Absolutely, I will rip all these I don't.
I don't care because you're not a fanboy like you
guys foy fans. So you've ripped the Clippers the way
you've ripped the Lakers. I have absolutely they've been you
(22:47):
have not. I absolutely have not. Listen, you only worked
with me a short time. Not you just call er
four hours. Your whole team on the Clippers is substandards
right now. They were for years. You just said they're
building the right way. Right, they're building the right way
that Jerry West West when it comes to l A
(23:09):
sports the right way with the great year. Okay, we'll
see who is the shining team in l A. Ben,
you know, the Clippers are more than just an afterthought.
Now it's just gonna be great because this this is
gonna be so much more painful for you and you
that's what you're hoping for because you're not gonna win squat,
We're just gonna win ten more games, like more taking calls.
(23:32):
When Carl Malone joined the LA joined the Lakers at
forty years old, Man, how about Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard
how many championships Malone, Winn Dwight how many? How many
White Howard was never the best player in the league,
and it's not once in his entire career. We're seriously
gonna compare Karl Malone to Lebron? Serious, I would rather
(23:55):
have Dwight Howard at a younger age than a thirty
four year old Lebron Here, how about that? I would
You guys don't understand the age your fanboys, you're you
are blinded by this. I get it, I don't. It's
not you keep bringing up age. You suck on Tom
Brady's toes all the time. You're comparing the Lakers to
(24:16):
the bottom of the barrels. That's the Browns. So if
the Browns could, the Browns could get Brady. Are you
telling me they wouldn't because of his age? Show me
the list of baskets. Ben Lebron is an outlier, he
had an outliner. He yes, he has one of the
best seasons of his career. Your varsity conference in the
same to the finals, he's in the same conference in
(24:40):
invasion with Golden State. He is playing well below his age.
You know it, You're wrong, you know you know he's
got two good seasons left in him. You know it.
You're being you know not, you're acting as contract, you're
acting different. Do you remember how bad, how horrible? So
(25:00):
full Bryant? Here you were talking about terrorist Africa tour.
He's Achilles. Yes, Bron James tears Achilles. When that happens,
let me if I have already torn as Achilles getting
on that private jet to Europe. He might have heard himself.
It's so funny that if Lebron had joined your Boston Celtics,
you'd be singing his praise. No, no, no, And he's
(25:23):
starred about death. He's a death. On the Boston Show,
we talked about the people don't want him. That's the different. See,
the Laker fan will take anybody's garbage. The Celtics fan
didn't want Lebron James. That's the Lakers. Mr Guy, so
jealous of what's going on right now, so jealous of
the Lakers. I'm I'm I'm gonna grippers. Were in the
(25:43):
headlines right now. What are the Clippers doing? What are
they doing? What doesn't it's a nonsect, it's not we're
not talking about stay focused, so you stay folcused. So
what about what about the Clippers? He matter what Bower?
It kind of great because you're talking about the Lakers,
you're Bron James. But the Browns fan talking smack to Patriots.
(26:05):
That's another doesn't matter. Gotten brown is three and six
in the NBA Finals against the West, that's what he is.
Lakers will be back in the playoffs in the finals,
the Clippers will be sniff It is the law of
diminishing returns. That is the reality. That's what you've got.
(26:29):
The deal so the same as C So you're taking
the CP three route, but on King James, that's what
you're doing. So he's doing right, he's done. Here's here's
the problem. I'm I'm right about this because this is unbeaten, right,
this is undefeated. This strategy and magic Johnson is apparently
clue as I know, it'll help market share, the franchise
(26:50):
value go up. But again, Lebron didn't sign with the
Lakers because he wanted to win. Uh, if he wanted
to win, they were like seven or eight other teams
he could have signed with ahead of the Lakers and
probably more than that. This is not about winning. Lebrons
knows he's not gonna win. With the Lakers. He's okay
with that. He wants to live in Brentwood year round
and hang out and make movies and do all that. Again,
your prediction on the Lakers was that Magic wasn't gonna
(27:12):
be able to correct about Chris Paul? Did he not
get hurt in the playoffs? About Chris Paul? Look how
far he when his team meeting the most. He was
a loser. Your teams a loser. He's a loser. Team
didn't even make Theoutyars won the championship. Your condors were
(27:33):
squat without Chris Paul gets hurt, that's what he does.
And Lebron James ain't gonna get to the NBA Frons.
He can't beat Golden State. He can't. Not gonna do
it all right, anyways, the Ben Mallers showing Fox and
we'll push back all this other stuff. The instant of
Vice line right now though, Eddie Garcia better late than never.
This is the Clay Travis Clark, Well, what's going on, Eddie?
(27:55):
From the We still have three minutes though, it actually
just just not do it at all. NBA News four
time League m v P four D time All Star.
Lebron James agree in a four year Do you guys
want me to turn my brain off? Because I'm a
huge bass by Q? Have a huge pass by Q.
(28:17):
One of the many Clippers versus Lakers arguments that happened
live on the show unplanned as you could tell. And
I will say this about Ben. He lets the crew
turn their microphones on. I'll pull the curtains back a
little bit. On radio, if you're the main host, it's
(28:39):
up to you whether or not you want to do
a show that's crew style where you involve everybody, or
it could just be you talking and maybe the update
person occasionally, but other than that, everybody has their mics off.
I've been on both types of shows, and I think
that one of the reasons Ben show is so fun
is he includes everybody. So I'm happy that I could
(29:02):
include that, even though it was a straight up argument,
See's a loser. I get questions from militia like crazy
about Clippers versus Lakers and oh my god, did you
guys ever get in trouble for those arguments? No, the Boss.
I remember the Boss telling me that one of the
Super Bowl radio rows when he was there, that that
(29:24):
was one of his favorite parts of The Mallard Show
is when we would just spontaneously get into it on
the air. Now, he didn't like it when we destroyed
the network clock, but he loved how organic some of
the arguments on the air because he said he could
tell how passionate we were about our teams. Passionate sports
(29:46):
talk is a winning formula. So it's been a lot
of fun working for Fox Sports Radio. Um Man, there's
been some loads too. Right before I got to do
the podcast here with Ben obviously kicked the coverage ended
and Clay moved onto the Limboss Show Talk. So personal
thank you to everybody who supports this podcast. It's been
(30:10):
a lot of fun every week. A lot of hard work,
but a lot of fun. I think what I'm gonna
do to close out the Saturday edition is I'm gonna
play some of the greatest moments on The mall Or Show,
which there dropped, some short, some long. What is a drop?
It's not trigonometry. It's when we capture a funny moment,
(30:32):
a moment that really stood out in a show. Usually
when a show would be ending, Ben would say, hey,
our one, take that, our two. There was this that
could be a drop? And or just something where we
all knew, oh my god, that's timeless, that's a drop,
and nobody had to say anything. I already was playing it.
Or something Ben said and we take it out of context,
(30:53):
or it just sounds funny the way he said it.
I was more concerned about him giving me a double fish.
You know. I went through the computer system at fs R.
I went back six seven years and found some gems.
I hope you enjoy tossed solid. That's so what didn't
(31:17):
you what? I wish I could pull off those suits.
I was so excited. I wanted to pick more guys.
I love it all right, thank you, Stanley, Well you
have more, um Sanley, take a deep breast. Then I
(31:38):
have intermittent chest pains and I shortness to breath and
painted my lips farm and my left shoulder and I'll
say hold on, I said, make sure this guy get
some some medical attention. Coop okay, a country concert live contry,
(31:58):
who's your favorite? Who's your who's your favorite? Country star?
That seed Dirty Boots played for the Orioles has a
porn stash. How about shut up? I want a camel packaging.
(32:23):
But wow, oh my, oh my god, Is that real?
Are you playing sound effects? Danny? Is that the bear
from that new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. I swear I'm not
playing any sound effects. All right, let's sit back and
get your popcorn and enjoy the work of hollerween James.
(32:46):
Is you waking up there? Oh? My god? Like a
water buffalo? The man? Enjoy me and you got to
get that broad here now. Two guys is enough for
(33:07):
me before they go? What's you think about the wizards?
All the way? We were ladies and gentlemen. Anytime I
see that scattered pictures, the smiles we left? Hello, Hello, Yeah?
(33:36):
What do you think about the oil Coop? The loops
rockers last Goop Loop And that's my man, Baby, you
want to hang out with me, you better get me
that good stuff. That's how loud it was great to
(33:57):
see Pooh go Kittie go to hell. King Eddie Boo boo,
back up, back up, Get jack up, Jack up that
beat down you mean? And then I gave you last
night like us on Facebook and Facebook dot com, Slash podcast,
make that boy, everything Eddie touches turns to ash. You
(34:17):
need to put it in this place. I'll tell you
another thing then you can put I'll put this on
my mama and you can you can make a note
of this and write it down. This may be my
last talk I'll ever make until Eddie drops the gin.
And I'll tell you what. I implore all Patriots, fans,
all New English fans, all fans of the NFL, to
rise against Eddie Garcia and fan who wheel talk against
(34:38):
this issue. Eddie. I thought you were Blair racist, all right,
Dan He started in such films as Hurry and Ready
see you. I pity the fool. It doesn't give me
my burto is did a really good job to lay games.
(35:00):
You can just use your arm I don't have to
pay for that. Shout out Westbrook. Here we go. It's
syndosing that that nuts chefalosa right cephalosa. That's not his name,
Jeff boy r d that chef cephalosa. Next thing I know,
I just saw this white thing flying at my face.
(35:22):
Hey I and at the top of your long scream
where the white women at the white women? The head
is good, but the hump is thick. You know what
I mean? How dare you? Danny g the microphone throttler.
(35:44):
I would like to work with Seth Rogan I think
that'd be really fine. Wonder why Luke will have to pay?
What if she's five ten and has a b dunka dunk? Hey, Ben,
I went all in on your picks and I went
all bro I'm gonna have Jamie, Ben, You're gonna have
(36:14):
them congratulation. This is weird. What's going on right now?
What is going on in Medford, Oregon? What's a guy there?
That's there's a guy there now. Also, that's Joe. They're
having a party in Medford and they're listening to our show.
It's a party in Medford. Hello, Joe, Hi, I like
(36:37):
the Saint and my Peach Cobbler lives alright, former heismoner
from USC He killed two people, cut their heads off,
You idiot, al right, passed. Took hours digging through the computers.
(37:05):
It's like digging in the crates if you're a DJ,
except this is all digital. I hope you liked and
remembered some of those moments, or if you're a new listener,
can appreciate the laughter from the Ben Mallor Show and
the Fifth Hour podcast, which will be returning for a Sunday,
I'll have more of the best of the best of
the best as Ben is at that wedding today in
(37:27):
North Kakalaka. He'll be back soon on the live show
and of course next weekend right here on the Fifth
Hour podcast. But I'm gonna have many more of your
favorite moments on tomorrow's show. In fact, when I'm in
the studio this afternoon with Hartmann and Schwartz, I'm gonna
(37:48):
do some more deep diving into the FSR computer system
and see what I can come up with for Sunday.
Should be good. See you back here tomorrow, Osta Pasta
Boolahan
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, and a
happy Saturday to you. It is Evergreen Betty with Danny
g Radio. Oh the drama? Have I returned from my hiatus? Wrong?
(00:48):
If I'm still traveling around today? This being Saturday, is
a big day. It's wedding day. The whole point of
me missing all this time from radio show was to
go to a wedding with the in laws. So while
you're listening to this, I'm putting on a clown costume
(01:08):
and and getting ready for a wedding on the shores
of the Atlantic Ocean in North Carolina. So that is
where I am right now. I will be back at
some point to the live radio show. But listen, this
is the podcast the kind of content you want, the
kind of content that you need. But some of the
fun things that have happened on the podcast, some of
(01:29):
the Zeni moments that have taken place on the radio show.
And we put it all together, and I know right
now Danny G's telling me, shuck the fuck. Okay, Danny,
I'm gonna I have to get ready anyway for the wedding.
So here it is make way for the latest Timeless.
It's called The Bank Show of the Fifth Hour with
(01:51):
Ben Mallor and Danny G. And we hope you love it,
five stars. You're probably watching sports your phone at the
wedding right now. Yeah, Well, chances are if I have WiFi,
though it's so far in the boondocks, I might have WiFi.
If I don't have WiFi, heads are going to roll,
(02:15):
all right, Danny G taking back over. So on Friday
we got to hear the great coop Adventure of the
hot Dog. Today Saturday morning, I feel like we should
flashback to Mr Smooth. He is a character from the
Live Ben Mallor show that I get asked about still
to this day. What happened to Smooth? What happened to
(02:36):
Mr Smooth? During the Tenderoni Tips segment. Once a week
he would call in and offer some corny advice, but
it was so corny it was good and of course
he had a golden voice. Good morning, then, dannyd This
old edition of Tenderoni Tips that I found in the
vault includes a call from the one and only Mr
(02:57):
Smooth Tips get a bit of a dry spell. Tinder
Guru Danny G is here to help when you have
a romantic queery and you are under the age of
(03:17):
fifth it and you're not freaking that the gut thin
feet give up the call and it is Tenderoni Tips
are Buddy Danny G Radio, the only single guy on
the show. That's him right there. He's sitting down, he's
putting his headphones on, adjusting the level. We have actual
questions from actual listeners to the show right here on
this piece of paper in front of me. And if
(03:38):
you want to follow along on Periscope, let's user name
Eddie on f s R. And you can also send
us questions as you want as well. We might use
some of yours as we're doing this. These are some
questions that we're sending earlier Tenderoni Tips with Danny G.
The Cincinnati Kid writes in on Twitter says, if your
girl gives you a hall pass? Do you use it
(04:02):
on a five or campaign for a celebrity date? Oh,
this is just like sports, go big or go home.
I gotta go for the celebrity. But what about the
who's the basketball player for the Utah Jazz back in
the day, Andre Carolinko who he had every year? He
had a hall pass a year. You know, then you
can take it like a five. Right if it's one
day a year? Now that one actress? Ben if your
(04:24):
wife gave you a celebrity hall pass? No, I didn't know.
I don't know. I don't know their names. Danny Gye,
who's uh? You were just talking about TMC. I like
their sports stuff. I don't know. I mean I I
watched the show. I I couldn't. That's the thing. Like
I Cooper Loop, who's like he's in movies and stuff.
He knows all these Hollywood do I have no idea
(04:46):
why I see I recognize them. And also because we
live here, I'll see them, you know in l A.
We'll see him around time. I don't know who they are.
I'm like, you have to be really really famous, um so,
but no, you know who's the I like the way
you dodged that who's the most most the curvaceous woman
in Hollywoo? Who would that be? She's like in New
(05:06):
York West Coast, West Coast Megan Good whoever? That is? Sure?
Why not? Alright? Google Googler all Google r A R.
Danny g with tinder RONI tips Casper Blue on Twitter
rights and it says I've taken a tender date out
for dinner twice and she hasn't said thank you either time.
(05:27):
Should this bother me? Yeah? I hate that. This is
a pet peeve of mine. I'm not saying that the
that the lady needs to bend over backwards kissing your
your bootet, but to not even get a thank you after,
you know, paying for a nice meal for a lady,
that's that's a red flag. Yeah, that's uh, that's a
de lete day. I get out of here. The girl,
(05:51):
that's a woman who's just used to getting everything she
wants without having to say thank you to anybody. Yeah,
and that's likely going to be a him like that
if you're the entire time you're with her, she's ungrat
who wants that? All right? Mr Smooth, Mr Smooth his
regular appearance, move time. Good morning, Ben Danny G, Joe Thomas,
(06:15):
and Almund across the nation. Now, Ben, for the last
few weeks, you guys have been inundated with Kate. They're
at the studio. But it's actually a good thing because
it reminds the fellas of something they need to tell
their ladies later on today, and that is been of
all the sweet treats a man can enjoy. Honey, you
(06:35):
are the best of them all because you are the
icing on my gate. I RM, We're we're inundated with sugar.
He's inundated with cheese. I can't get enough of Mr
smoothe work. Jim Listener Jim on Twitter, right, and he's
got a very good question, a very important question. Many
(06:56):
men over generations have tried to answer this question and
women also. Uh, it's really the ultimate question, and you're
the right guy to ask the question, Danny G. When
is it safe defart in front of your day Ah?
I would say never, never know how once you get married,
after that maybe I wouldn't even want to scare my
(07:21):
my future bride like that. I stay, I stay away
from that. That's that's like when we were in the
classroom as kids and the teacher says, Look, you need
to walk outside and handle your business. Do that, but
to the hot box your girl like that. That's just wrong,
that's wrong. So no, yeah, don't do it. No carpet
mom in there all right? Jake in Seattle? Right? Since
(07:41):
is my longtime girlfriend has baby fever and wants a kid,
but I don't one world? Uh is the compromise on
this one? Well that's maybe what would He's in Seattle,
He's not far from Disneyland in Los Angeles. So I
say borrow your nieces and nephews, take him on a
trip with your your longtime girlfriend to Disneyland, stay there
(08:03):
for twelve hours, and by the time that trip is over,
she's not gonna want to have kids anymore. Well that's what.
Or or just go for a dog, you know, just
that's a compromise right now, like a poodle yffrf. That
was back in the Tenderoni Tips days. Now we flash
forward when my Tenderni got jumped at a massage table.
(08:30):
That was one of the most downloaded episodes of the
podcast this past year so far. Chloe, did you hear
about how your mom almost got banged at a massage parlor? Well,
you're in luck because here is the clip of that
fifth hour podcast. Oh and stay tuned because the Queen
(08:50):
Tinderoni herself is going to answer a few questions after
this clip is over, ring bills Ben. She gets home
and tells me about the experience, and I'm losing my mind.
I cannot believe what happened. What happened? So let's sit
(09:14):
in the box. What happened? What's in it? She goes in.
She said everything was fine, and she said they were
burning incense in the lobby and it seemed like a
really cool place. They take her in. The Asian gal
that brought her in, look, she said, did look a
little stout like, kind of buff. So she was like, well,
(09:35):
I am gonna get a deep tissue massage. It looks
like so this lady Ben pulls her underwear down, which
she was not expecting. Uh, jumps up onto the massage table,
straddles my girl, sits on my girl's rare end. It's
(09:55):
going to town on her and and was kept slapping her,
even slapped her ass. My girl did not know what
to do. She said. It was one of those moments
in life where you wonder, am I enjoying this or
(10:17):
is this really strange? What massage is that? That's what
I asked her. I said, how is that a Swedish massage?
And she said, I don't know. I was really confused.
She said, while this lady was straddling her and massaging her,
she was also speaking very strangely in another language and
(10:41):
making noises as she was doing it, so it was
like she was enjoying it more than my girl was. Wow,
she's making strange noises. She's almost hurting her. What about
a pressure she's putting on her? And now she asked her,
you want hot stone? Ten dollars extra hot stone, throw
(11:03):
hot rocks at you. So my Tinderroni says, sure, okay.
Then so she puts the hot stones on her back,
and my Tinderroni said, honestly, it was a nice break
from this lady slapping and hitting me and pushing on
me too hard. So she's laying there with the hot rocks.
But then the massus takes a hot rock and sticks
(11:25):
it in her ass crack whoa whoa, Oh yeah, so man,
she felt violated. It's just like an S and M
type situation here. What do we got going on? I'll
tell you after I go next week. Oh yeah, I'm
trying up for a monthly membership. Yeah. Yeah. So she
(11:51):
also when this lady was done after this very strange
uh rape massage a massage, yeah, she looked at her
and said finished. She didn't ring a bell, like yeah,
I got done. Here we go ring the ring the
victory bell. By the way, she was always she was
(12:12):
also pushing on the side of my girl's chest and
kind of cupping her breasts. And after she after she
would do that, she would tell her this, okay, this, okay,
wow yeah, and my girls like you're doing it already.
What does it matter what I say right now? Well,
Deshaun Watson is probably like, good me give me that
(12:33):
number right there. They come on, hook me up on that.
My goodness. She massaged her butt for ten minutes, man,
and then she didn't have to pay extra for that.
She is, Wow, you should have saw how fast she
ran to the shower when she got home. Yeah. He's like,
I feel like I need a shower and a cigarette
(12:54):
and shower first. And so she was like, where did
you send me? What did you tell this lay the
I needed? No? I was like, no, I swear the
Yelp reviews were good. That's wild. That is crazy, man.
Now we know why the Yelp reviews were good. Yeah,
that was and that was out near you, and that's
(13:14):
part of the l a. Yeah, right on the border
of the San Fernando Valley in Ventura County. Hit me
up in my d M S. I'll give you the
name of the place. You can get a lot of
a lot of messages here, Danny. What's what's this all about? Man?
I just feel bad because I wasn't there. I know
that could have really been You could have recorded the
whole thing. That could have been big on the internet.
That would have been massive. Man. All right, well that
(13:37):
is the gift that she now. Is she okay to
go back and get him out at that place? But
is she or is this gonna like affect her for
massages from now? And she can be like, I'm anti massage.
I don't know. She was so confused about it all
night long. It was funny because when she was in
the shower I heard her bust out laughing, what do
you the hell is she laughing about? In the shower?
(13:59):
And then and she came out she told me, oh
my god, like certain things about the massage keep coming back.
She had already planned on picking up Panda Express for
us for dinner after her massage, so now she didn't
know what to do because she has PTSD or PTS massage. Ye, yes, man,
(14:26):
that's crazy. So what do you think you have? Do
you think the Well, if you go to you know,
a high end spa, they do the thing where they
tuck the the clean sheet by your butt and they
don't go down there. That was classic. And who better
(14:48):
to bring into the fifth hour podcast then my tender
RONI to talk about that experience. Lots of tweets and
lots of questions about it when that episode back in March.
So I'll start with this question. Did I describe the
massus properly? What exactly did she look like? Well? I
(15:09):
didn't see her til the end, which was weird because
my face was down it was dark. Well, you didn't
see her coming to the room with you no face down.
I knew that was coming, so it was a surprise.
But what did she look like once you did see her?
(15:29):
Different than I thought? She was bigger than I thought, more,
a little more manly than I thought. Sexist. Okay, I
got a few tweets in March asking if you would
go back. So, I've thought about this for a while,
drove drove past the place quite a few times. I
(15:50):
bet you did, daydreaming. So I am contemplating it, and
I would say, yes, I'm going back maybe tomorrow. Don't
play it up to the listener is right now? Would
seriously would you really go back? Yes? Wow, all right,
your freak a zoid. Let's see what other questions did
I get asked? Oh, if there was like a meter
(16:12):
from zero to ten, where would you put that experience?
Because at the time you said you were confused about it, Well,
I still am confused, and so that's why you want
to go back to make sure that it was a
weird experience. Yeah, I don't know. I'm in between. I
don't know if I liked it or if it was
I still don't know. I felt good after it, but
(16:32):
I don't know. But yeah, okay, And while we have
you here, A listener actually asked us, I think it
was last weekend's mail bag. In fact, if our significant
others actually listened to the podcast, Ben said his wife
does on Saturday because he tells stories about their family. Now,
do you listen to the Fifth Hour podcast. Oh yeah,
(16:54):
why do you say that all evil? Because I gotta
you know, keep tabs. Wow, falling chain. My life is
over women. Thank you for being on the best of
the best of the best. Thank you for having me.
You're listening to the best of the Fifth Hour. I
(17:16):
didn't even know that was a thing. I'm sure it's
not very long. Why long? But here it is the
best of the best of the best of the Fifth Hour,
you know, JM writes in he says, what was the
other name you said you used when you had a
(17:37):
daytime local show. I never heard about that before, And
he says, ps, I think that beer drinking Brian is
giving you a story about his power and heating being
shut off. He talked about that on the show this week.
JM jam says, I am about nine sure that Missouri
has a cold weather law that you are not alled
(18:00):
to shut off utilities in the winter months. Was he
talking about when you were little Ben Mallett? No, No,
that's how you've typed my name into Google. It comes
up Ben Mallett. But no, uh, this actually was pretty funny.
So I was doing the show at eleven fifty, young
guy and we got some positive pulp. And back in
those days, it was very important to be on in
(18:21):
the l A Times radio TV critic Larry Stewart, and
that was the big deal, like you knew you were
of Everyone in the industry read that column. That was
that was a sign you've made it. And Larry didn't
write a lot about radio. He seemed to enjoy television
more than radio, and so he didn't write about radio much.
(18:42):
But a few times a year he read right, and
maybe more than that, I'm exaggerated. Usually at the end
of his column he'd have a little bit of radio news.
So he wrote a really nice thing about me when
I was a young guy. I was in my early
twenties and he wrote a really nice thing. I thought,
why this is, I've arrived. My mom was impressed, my
dad was impressed. You know people I used to work with.
This like a big deal, right the l A Times,
(19:02):
back when everyone read newspaper and uh, except he wrote
my name, Ben Waller, how my name was in So
I on the air at that time, much like these days,
they made it. I had to do the show and
I had to do updates, and I hated doing the updates.
I just wanted to do the show. I didn't want
(19:24):
to worry about the updates, and they made me do
the updates, and so on the updates, I was Ben
Waller and I'd said I I was like Phil Henry,
like a mental patient. I was throwing to myself, all right,
let's go to the news desk. Here's Ben Waller, you know,
and then I Bill Miller, I'm actually on the live air. Wrong,
(19:44):
it is timeless, and here it is on the fifth hour,
just because he's a Laker. Think you think I'm not
gonna play drop stop it. I believe that you have
ulterior motives now because you've your tattoos and all that stuff.
Now you're gonna play it because I asked for it,
so you'll play it. Stop. I have no problem playing
(20:05):
Lebron James drops. We goof on him all the time.
What does that have to do with him on the
floor as a player. What what's that? Always? It's not
always is different. You've been very different because you're such
a Laker hater and anything we say, you're just gonna
call us houseman. So why open our microphones? Are you
admitting you are a houseman? I'm a Laker fan. You're
(20:28):
you're a houseman for your teams. We all like our team.
He's a difference, though. You guys have been unwilling to
say how bad the Lakers have been. I've been willing
to say, Ben, you just let me say it. But
you would never be willing to give credit where credits
due who no matter who gets credit. You watched you
sign a Lakers are gonna be hoisting up the championship
trophy and you're still gonna come on the year when
(20:52):
it's not sometime four years. You want to bet on that? Yeah,
I want hundred dollars. All right, let's do it, ud
bet right now? You know what. I would love to
bet you. But you don't pay up on your bets
when you lose. Oh really, what bets have I not
paid up on? Tell me give me the list? Go ahead? Uh?
The newby Night when I clearly wanted you, there was
a Mariner fan. It was a regular that you didn't
(21:15):
even know his name. I still don't know his name
right now. What's his name? I have paid up? And
what's his name? Single wager that I have lost? What's
that regular name? Single wager? Yeah, that's what that's what
I thought, and you know you called the man a bit.
You did not want to see Lebron James play for
the Lakers, red herring. And now that he has signed
with the Lakers, now you're gonna win a championship. He's
(21:37):
not gonna win anything. They're not they're gonna win the division.
They're not gonna win nothing. When it comes to the Lakers,
it's a lose lose with you. Nothing whatever, nothing would
ever satisfy you with that organism gets the job. You
call him a loser, you say anything. It was what
he just did. And now you go yours from the
(22:00):
best player in basketball still the best players not the
best player anymore for your Clippers or James Harden just
won the MVP. That's usually the best player. Yes, the
m VPS normally the best player, isn't that nor Michael
Jordan won a championship at thirty four years old? Yeah
you think that? Ron? This you got again? I'm talking
you guys are guys for the We're not absolutely wearing tattoos.
(22:23):
You wear Clippers and Dodgers. You still we talk about
they said that Dave Roberts should be fired the way
the Dodgers. We've we've ripped on the Lakers at times
you're neutral. Absolutely, I will rip all these I don't.
I don't care because you're not a fanboy like you
guys foy fans. So you've ripped the Clippers the way
you've ripped the Lakers. I have absolutely they've been you
(22:47):
have not. I absolutely have not. Listen, you only worked
with me a short time. Not you just call er
four hours. Your whole team on the Clippers is substandards
right now. They were for years. You just said they're
building the right way. Right, they're building the right way
that Jerry West West when it comes to l A
(23:09):
sports the right way with the great year. Okay, we'll
see who is the shining team in l A. Ben,
you know, the Clippers are more than just an afterthought.
Now it's just gonna be great because this this is
gonna be so much more painful for you and you
that's what you're hoping for because you're not gonna win squat,
We're just gonna win ten more games, like more taking calls.
(23:32):
When Carl Malone joined the LA joined the Lakers at
forty years old, Man, how about Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard
how many championships Malone, Winn Dwight how many? How many
White Howard was never the best player in the league,
and it's not once in his entire career. We're seriously
gonna compare Karl Malone to Lebron? Serious, I would rather
(23:55):
have Dwight Howard at a younger age than a thirty
four year old Lebron Here, how about that? I would
You guys don't understand the age your fanboys, you're you
are blinded by this. I get it, I don't. It's
not you keep bringing up age. You suck on Tom
Brady's toes all the time. You're comparing the Lakers to
(24:16):
the bottom of the barrels. That's the Browns. So if
the Browns could, the Browns could get Brady. Are you
telling me they wouldn't because of his age? Show me
the list of baskets. Ben Lebron is an outlier, he
had an outliner. He yes, he has one of the
best seasons of his career. Your varsity conference in the
same to the finals, he's in the same conference in
(24:40):
invasion with Golden State. He is playing well below his age.
You know it, You're wrong, you know you know he's
got two good seasons left in him. You know it.
You're being you know not, you're acting as contract, you're
acting different. Do you remember how bad, how horrible? So
(25:00):
full Bryant? Here you were talking about terrorist Africa tour.
He's Achilles. Yes, Bron James tears Achilles. When that happens,
let me if I have already torn as Achilles getting
on that private jet to Europe. He might have heard himself.
It's so funny that if Lebron had joined your Boston Celtics,
you'd be singing his praise. No, no, no, And he's
(25:23):
starred about death. He's a death. On the Boston Show,
we talked about the people don't want him. That's the different. See,
the Laker fan will take anybody's garbage. The Celtics fan
didn't want Lebron James. That's the Lakers. Mr Guy, so
jealous of what's going on right now, so jealous of
the Lakers. I'm I'm I'm gonna grippers. Were in the
(25:43):
headlines right now. What are the Clippers doing? What are
they doing? What doesn't it's a nonsect, it's not we're
not talking about stay focused, so you stay folcused. So
what about what about the Clippers? He matter what Bower?
It kind of great because you're talking about the Lakers,
you're Bron James. But the Browns fan talking smack to Patriots.
(26:05):
That's another doesn't matter. Gotten brown is three and six
in the NBA Finals against the West, that's what he is.
Lakers will be back in the playoffs in the finals,
the Clippers will be sniff It is the law of
diminishing returns. That is the reality. That's what you've got.
(26:29):
The deal so the same as C So you're taking
the CP three route, but on King James, that's what
you're doing. So he's doing right, he's done. Here's here's
the problem. I'm I'm right about this because this is unbeaten, right,
this is undefeated. This strategy and magic Johnson is apparently
clue as I know, it'll help market share, the franchise
(26:50):
value go up. But again, Lebron didn't sign with the
Lakers because he wanted to win. Uh, if he wanted
to win, they were like seven or eight other teams
he could have signed with ahead of the Lakers and
probably more than that. This is not about winning. Lebrons
knows he's not gonna win. With the Lakers. He's okay
with that. He wants to live in Brentwood year round
and hang out and make movies and do all that. Again,
your prediction on the Lakers was that Magic wasn't gonna
(27:12):
be able to correct about Chris Paul? Did he not
get hurt in the playoffs? About Chris Paul? Look how
far he when his team meeting the most. He was
a loser. Your teams a loser. He's a loser. Team
didn't even make Theoutyars won the championship. Your condors were
(27:33):
squat without Chris Paul gets hurt, that's what he does.
And Lebron James ain't gonna get to the NBA Frons.
He can't beat Golden State. He can't. Not gonna do
it all right, anyways, the Ben Mallers showing Fox and
we'll push back all this other stuff. The instant of
Vice line right now though, Eddie Garcia better late than never.
This is the Clay Travis Clark, Well, what's going on, Eddie?
(27:55):
From the We still have three minutes though, it actually
just just not do it at all. NBA News four
time League m v P four D time All Star.
Lebron James agree in a four year Do you guys
want me to turn my brain off? Because I'm a
huge bass by Q? Have a huge pass by Q.
(28:17):
One of the many Clippers versus Lakers arguments that happened
live on the show unplanned as you could tell. And
I will say this about Ben. He lets the crew
turn their microphones on. I'll pull the curtains back a
little bit. On radio, if you're the main host, it's
(28:39):
up to you whether or not you want to do
a show that's crew style where you involve everybody, or
it could just be you talking and maybe the update
person occasionally, but other than that, everybody has their mics off.
I've been on both types of shows, and I think
that one of the reasons Ben show is so fun
is he includes everybody. So I'm happy that I could
(29:02):
include that, even though it was a straight up argument,
See's a loser. I get questions from militia like crazy
about Clippers versus Lakers and oh my god, did you
guys ever get in trouble for those arguments? No, the Boss.
I remember the Boss telling me that one of the
Super Bowl radio rows when he was there, that that
(29:24):
was one of his favorite parts of The Mallard Show
is when we would just spontaneously get into it on
the air. Now, he didn't like it when we destroyed
the network clock, but he loved how organic some of
the arguments on the air because he said he could
tell how passionate we were about our teams. Passionate sports
(29:46):
talk is a winning formula. So it's been a lot
of fun working for Fox Sports Radio. Um Man, there's
been some loads too. Right before I got to do
the podcast here with Ben obviously kicked the coverage ended
and Clay moved onto the Limboss Show Talk. So personal
thank you to everybody who supports this podcast. It's been
(30:10):
a lot of fun every week. A lot of hard work,
but a lot of fun. I think what I'm gonna
do to close out the Saturday edition is I'm gonna
play some of the greatest moments on The mall Or Show,
which there dropped, some short, some long. What is a drop?
It's not trigonometry. It's when we capture a funny moment,
(30:32):
a moment that really stood out in a show. Usually
when a show would be ending, Ben would say, hey,
our one, take that, our two. There was this that
could be a drop? And or just something where we
all knew, oh my god, that's timeless, that's a drop,
and nobody had to say anything. I already was playing it.
Or something Ben said and we take it out of context,
(30:53):
or it just sounds funny the way he said it.
I was more concerned about him giving me a double fish.
You know. I went through the computer system at fs R.
I went back six seven years and found some gems.
I hope you enjoy tossed solid. That's so what didn't
(31:17):
you what? I wish I could pull off those suits.
I was so excited. I wanted to pick more guys.
I love it all right, thank you, Stanley, Well you
have more, um Sanley, take a deep breast. Then I
(31:38):
have intermittent chest pains and I shortness to breath and
painted my lips farm and my left shoulder and I'll
say hold on, I said, make sure this guy get
some some medical attention. Coop okay, a country concert live contry,
(31:58):
who's your favorite? Who's your who's your favorite? Country star?
That seed Dirty Boots played for the Orioles has a
porn stash. How about shut up? I want a camel packaging.
(32:23):
But wow, oh my, oh my god, Is that real?
Are you playing sound effects? Danny? Is that the bear
from that new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. I swear I'm not
playing any sound effects. All right, let's sit back and
get your popcorn and enjoy the work of hollerween James.
(32:46):
Is you waking up there? Oh? My god? Like a
water buffalo? The man? Enjoy me and you got to
get that broad here now. Two guys is enough for
(33:07):
me before they go? What's you think about the wizards?
All the way? We were ladies and gentlemen. Anytime I
see that scattered pictures, the smiles we left? Hello, Hello, Yeah?
(33:36):
What do you think about the oil Coop? The loops
rockers last Goop Loop And that's my man, Baby, you
want to hang out with me, you better get me
that good stuff. That's how loud it was great to
(33:57):
see Pooh go Kittie go to hell. King Eddie Boo boo,
back up, back up, Get jack up, Jack up that
beat down you mean? And then I gave you last
night like us on Facebook and Facebook dot com, Slash podcast,
make that boy, everything Eddie touches turns to ash. You
(34:17):
need to put it in this place. I'll tell you
another thing then you can put I'll put this on
my mama and you can you can make a note
of this and write it down. This may be my
last talk I'll ever make until Eddie drops the gin.
And I'll tell you what. I implore all Patriots, fans,
all New English fans, all fans of the NFL, to
rise against Eddie Garcia and fan who wheel talk against
(34:38):
this issue. Eddie. I thought you were Blair racist, all right,
Dan He started in such films as Hurry and Ready
see you. I pity the fool. It doesn't give me
my burto is did a really good job to lay games.
(35:00):
You can just use your arm I don't have to
pay for that. Shout out Westbrook. Here we go. It's
syndosing that that nuts chefalosa right cephalosa. That's not his name,
Jeff boy r d that chef cephalosa. Next thing I know,
I just saw this white thing flying at my face.
(35:22):
Hey I and at the top of your long scream
where the white women at the white women? The head
is good, but the hump is thick. You know what
I mean? How dare you? Danny g the microphone throttler.
(35:44):
I would like to work with Seth Rogan I think
that'd be really fine. Wonder why Luke will have to pay?
What if she's five ten and has a b dunka dunk? Hey, Ben,
I went all in on your picks and I went
all bro I'm gonna have Jamie, Ben, You're gonna have
(36:14):
them congratulation. This is weird. What's going on right now?
What is going on in Medford, Oregon? What's a guy there?
That's there's a guy there now. Also, that's Joe. They're
having a party in Medford and they're listening to our show.
It's a party in Medford. Hello, Joe, Hi, I like
(36:37):
the Saint and my Peach Cobbler lives alright, former heismoner
from USC He killed two people, cut their heads off,
You idiot, al right, passed. Took hours digging through the computers.
(37:05):
It's like digging in the crates if you're a DJ,
except this is all digital. I hope you liked and
remembered some of those moments, or if you're a new listener,
can appreciate the laughter from the Ben Mallor Show and
the Fifth Hour podcast, which will be returning for a Sunday,
I'll have more of the best of the best of
the best as Ben is at that wedding today in
(37:27):
North Kakalaka. He'll be back soon on the live show
and of course next weekend right here on the Fifth
Hour podcast. But I'm gonna have many more of your
favorite moments on tomorrow's show. In fact, when I'm in
the studio this afternoon with Hartmann and Schwartz, I'm gonna
(37:48):
do some more deep diving into the FSR computer system
and see what I can come up with for Sunday.
Should be good. See you back here tomorrow, Osta Pasta
Boolahan
Host
Ben Maller
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