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May 22, 2022 • 52 mins

Ben Maller is in the podcast studio with Danny G. to have some Sunday fun with the mail bag, answering select P1 questions from the #MallerMilitia on this edition! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben

(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and a
very good Sunday Sunday Sunday, another brand new pipe and
hot addition to the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and
Danny g Godless America and the mail bag is bursting.

(00:53):
Next thing I know. I just saw this white thing
flying at my face, tons and tons of letters and
we will answer all of the letters if we have time. Well,
we finite amount of time, as you know, Danny, even
though we're on a podcast which in theory could go
on forever, it has been proven if you go on
too long orring, people don't listen. So there's a finite

(01:17):
amount of time, and then after that we must go away. Yeah.
I feel like the forty minute mark we usually hit
is the perfect amount of time. Instead of a two
hour countdown show, we still get to be Casey Cason,
but for forty minutes. Yeah, and if we were making
Joe Rogan money, we might do a four hour podcast. Yeah,

(01:39):
I guess I got some money here. That's the the
way that that works there. Now, we mentioned on the
Saturday podcast you were you're getting around about America Online. Right,
we're talking about a O L all that, and so
before we get into the mailbag, this will bring back memories.
This is your first experience with the internet. If you're

(02:00):
at a certain age, you'll say, well, that's just a
bunch of old people. That's just old people playing a
sound by who cares about that. But this is how
the internet was when I first got on the chat
rooms and all that stuff. Here's how it sounded on
the Internet back in the day. Great, imagine the America

(02:23):
Online logo. Don't touch the phone and the kitchen I'm
trying to get on the internet. No, don't touch the
phone in the kitchen my ears or uh see we
connect connected. Oh it's dialing again. I don't know why

(02:45):
it keeps diving all right, anyway, what the heck? Why
not amount of time it would take to connect? Oh,
and then you get cut off and then you have
to do it all over again. What are we doing here?
Kids don't know the struggle? Man? Oh Man, oh man.
All right, let's go to it. Here we go, Yes

(03:08):
we do. These are actual letters, send it by actual listeners,
and we we must play the proper song here our
guy ohio al Yes, And the first letter this week
comes from Cliff from Nashville. By the way, if you
want to send a letter, you can send it right now.

(03:29):
You can email me and Danny Real fifth Hour at
gmail dot com, Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com,
or you can wait until Monday or Tuesday on the
Facebook page Ben Maller's show and I'll post something on
there usually in the morning. Send it in and we
might use your email on the show in a future
edition of The Fifth Hour. So Cliff from Nashville rights

(03:51):
and he says, I wanted to recognize Danny G. For
a very fun and entertaining weekend in your absence and
after your successful cross country tour, are there any plans
for an international journey? So so the way I'll answer that,
Cliff is, first, thank you and thank Danny G. For

(04:11):
doing a great job and making sure the podcast continued
even though I was away on assignment at a family function.
So I have no plans to go international. My wife,
on the other hand, has tremendous plans to go internationals.
She would like to go visit just about every country
outside of North Korea and a few places in the
Middle East. She would like to visit everywhere. And uh,

(04:35):
you know, so I, I, being married to her, will
likely be dragged around. I've not been outside of America.
I've been to Oceania. I've been North American Oceania. Wich
is Hawaii sounds better when you say Oceanica, And and
that's it. So I my my, my wife would love
to go to Europe and just drive around, visit all
the different countries and all that. And I knew it.

(04:56):
I was gonna say, she wants one of those colin
cowhard Europe trips. Oh yeah, hanging out in the south
of France, going to Norway. And when she wants to
see the Northern lights. Have you ever seen the Northern
lights standing your in your time? I have not either,
but that's one of the things. And she's got family
from on her side. She got family from Italy and

(05:17):
from from Norway. Is you would like to visit those
places and all that stuff. So I'm sure at some
point when we win the lottery or I end up
getting dan Patrick money, that that will happen. Until then
we'll be going to Santa Barbara on places like that
one more geographically desirable, which is not a bad life. No, no,

(05:42):
not not a bad life at all, Not a bad
life at all. I never really want to go anywhere
when I was young. As of getting older, I must
it's a sign him getting old, because now I'm like
kind of interested in it. A little bit before I
had no interest. I was like, I'm fine here, I
don't need to go anywhere else. People would say, hey,
you should go here there, and I'd be like, wait
a minute, shut the funk up, height, shut the funk up. Yeah,

(06:07):
our bodies are basically rotting away right now, so you
start thinking about the places you would like to see
before you croak. Well, it's very nice of you to say, well,
we do have a fatal illness. It's called life. No
one's gotten out alive, and from the moment you're born
to the moment you check out, that's uh, got just
a finite amount of time. All right, Uh, what about

(06:30):
you Danny any international. I guess you answered the question
by saying, yes, you do want to travel around, right. Yeah.
My dad's side of the family are from Sicily, and
I would love to go there and visit. Have family
there that run a wine bar on the water. Yeah,
and my uncle went last year. They put him up,

(06:51):
They had him help at the wine bar in the daytime.
He loved it and he was balling. He paid for
a translator to follow him around. Oh wow, how much
did that cost? That must have cost a lot some
of his retirement money. Man. All right, well that's cool.
Never balla ballah. Yeah, I'm like you. I'm trying to
afford one hotel for one night in Santa Barbara. Yeah,

(07:15):
he's got a translator in Sicily for a week. You
gotta go down to drive the half forty minutes down
the road to Uh what's that? What's the town I'm
thinking of, just south of Santa Barbara. Uh, where they
have the soup? Plays said, Oh, Buleton, Buleton, Yeah, Budleton, Buleton, Solving, Buleton.

(07:36):
I like Buleton and Solving. I like that. We've talked
about that beast village. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of cool.
We'll stop him. If you're in l a drive north.
It's uh, it's kind of neat all right, it's an
ostrich farm. You can stop there and eat ostrich, yeah,
and watch them run around at the same time, and
then go to the restaurant. And that's right here we

(07:59):
go Helen and Stu from Paul Betobe, Florida, and it
says Bannon Nanny g like two p's in a pod studio,
love you in the fifth hour. Will thank you, Helen
and Stu. You two controversial kids, you boys. The in
the mail bag, less is more, lesson learned. As stew

(08:21):
and I work to keep our bodies and now letters
uh tighter. Helen writes a shout out to our new
friend Ozzy Momentum and we predict two joke writer of
the year. His support shows that our astute opinions have

(08:41):
no boundaries. So Helen's very happy that the ring endorsement
from Ozzy Momentum. She says, been on a personal note,
adds stew and I to be fasting and time restricted
eating lifestyle. Yeah, good job by you two. I like you.
We've greatly reduced start daily eating window and for us,

(09:02):
I have begun fasting once every two weeks for twenty
four hours. Well good, I've been doing this for several years.
I've talked about it on the show, and I know
there was a story in The New York Times a
couple of weeks ago it said, oh it doesn't. You
don't lose any real weight because of this bullshit. I
am a believer. I am part of the cult when

(09:23):
it comes to Interi minute fasting, and I plan on
doing it. And you know, I don't know when my
time is gonna be up, but the rest of my
time here on this little blue marble, I will be
doing Inni minute fasting. And it it does annoy my
wife on the weekends because she's she likes to, you know,
do her thing, and she doesn't do the interimute fasting,
so it does annoy her a little bit. But I
am all about that action. I don't know that's what

(09:47):
I am so uh. Anyway, the email continues as for
great unfiltered guests, Please get Patrick Beverly, NBA player hater
of the Year on the show. I'd love to get
Patrick Beverley on show. Stu's favorite pet Beverly quote. Now,
if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go put water in

(10:07):
Grayson Allen's mama's dish. The amount of vitriol Danny that
Patrick Beverley got from ripping Chris Paul shows you he
was right because people were not attacking what he said.
They were attacking who Patrick Beverley is. Which if you
ever took a debate class back in the day, you

(10:27):
know that Patrick Beverley was on the right side of
that because they were thrown out all these you know,
all these nonsense straw man arguments, and they were they
were not attacking the meat of what Beverly said. Yeah,
ad hominem is that the term I was looking for.
Ad hominem I believe they said about Pat Bev. He's
been a role player his whole career. He's never won anything. Yeah,

(10:51):
why we weren't really talking about Pat Bev. We're talking
about what just happened with CP three. Yeah, and Beverly
was on TV. He was on TV to say outrageous things.
He said outrageous things, and all these people who were
very offended, they were their sensibilities were rocked because Patrick Beverly,
how dare him not go along with the group think

(11:11):
shame on you, and and it was ridiculous. Yeah, and
it's not surprising. It's that old Plaschet. He's one of
those players where you love him when he's on your
team and you hate him when he's on a different team. Yeah,
well he's not I'm not a Minnesota fan, but I
love him from his Clipper days. But everyone wanted to
box him and it was like, come on, man, I
got alone Beverly still celebrating the playing championship for the Timberwolves.

(11:34):
He can't be bothered with us. He did have that
good prediction. He was like, let's see who gets hurt first. Oh,
that was awesome. Yeah, who's gonna have a mysterious injury first? Yeah?
Chris Paul. It was actually it was Chris Paul I
did it. And it's so on brand with the NBA.
It's all part of the stick. And I don't I
don't hate the NBA. I talked about it. I wish

(11:56):
these games have been more competitive this past week. We
didn't get very many games. We would need a referee.
In that interview, though, somebody to stick up for CP
three a little bit and some of his accomplishments because
you and Pat BEV would be like that Spider Man meme.
You guys would just be pointing at together. I don't
know what you're talking about. We would just be a
couple of guys talking ball. That's all we've been doing.
What is still wrong with the Clippers? Helen continues the email,

(12:21):
She says boys in closing This week, a fan sued
both the Jets and Giants, demanding they dropped New York
from their names. What say you New York Jets or
New Jersey Jets, New York Giants or New Jersey Giants,
San Francisco forty Niners or Santa Clara forty Knights and
that that signed us fasting in Florida, Helen and Stu

(12:41):
in Palmetto Bay. Yeah, so the whole team thing, I mean,
we we went through. I was talking with buddy of
mine this week. We were going back and forth because
of that story with the New York slash New Jersey lawsuit,
which is likely going to lead to nothing. Uh, it's
it's branding, it's marketing. It's uh. And I think you're

(13:02):
allowed legally to do that. I guess we'll find out
whether you're not allowed to do it, because there's a
bunch of teams that don't actually play where they are
said to be from. Like, there is no actual Tampa Bay, right,
there's all the Tampa by Buccaneers. There's no Tampa Bay.
There's Tampa and St. Petersburg. There's no city Tampa Bay.
If you want to nitpick, you can go through that.

(13:24):
The Cowboys play in Arlington, Texas, Don't the Raiders. Isn't
the Raiders Stadium actually in Paradise, Nevada? Well, that's the thing,
if you want to get all technical, I mean, are
were they going to be the Chavez Ravine Dodgers. It's
just stupid. It's a region. It doesn't have to be
the actual zip code of where the physical stadium is.

(13:45):
In Chicago. They're talking about building something out in their suburbs, right,
that's right. Yeah, My my family in Chicago lives out
near where they're planning on building the stadium, which is
about an hour, little less than an hour outside of
downtown Chicago. It's not next door, I see. That would
be dumb. All of a sudden, they can't be the

(14:06):
Chicago Bears. They're gonna be insert that town's name bears. No,
come on, Well, but at the same time, like Santa Clara,
decent dry with Bay Area traffic from San Francisco, proper,
Anaheim and Los Angeles close to home where we broadcast
from the Los Angeles Angels who play in Anaheim, which

(14:28):
in rush hour is three hours away from Dodger Stadium,
give or take. So leave it alone and leave the
big city names that would be so weak. If they
were called the Santa Clara forty Niners, we'd have no
more Buffalo Bills. We'd have the Orchard Park Bills. Could
have that, and then we would have to get a
team in irwin Dale, because it would only be fitting

(14:50):
to have a team in the league with Irwin Dale
in front of the team name in the dale erwin Dale.
I laugh every time I drive past that pit. They
filled it in now they feeled when I I used
to be out that way. They filled in the pit.
It's there's no more hole there. It's just a big
field of dirt. I wouldn't want to be on that.
I would not want to be on that field of

(15:11):
dirt though, if there's an earthquake, because I don't I
don't know what's going on underneath the surface on that
I don't know about that one? All right, keep it going.
Here this is the mail bag. These are actual letters
from actual listeners of the radio show. No, we're not
doing cheese, We're doing this is important. Here, this is mail.

(15:33):
This is actual male and let's see who is next?
Any meany mighty moll come back. It's sign from May
I call? All right? Tammy in Montana writes it says,
Benn and Danny, are you guys ever going to do
a war of drops? Tammy says she loves hearing all

(15:56):
the drops. More Tinderoni tips that's all school. Well, the
problem with that is I have kind of a cheesy
board of sound effects that I have right here at
my disposal. But Danny has the full monthy god, he

(16:18):
would blow me away. Yeah that's Danny with the drops,
the evil m fire. So I concede to you. I'll
just tell you right now. Congratulations. Yeah, there's no contest
when it comes to the drops. You're You're the o
G when it comes to drops, Danny, I can't compete

(16:39):
with that. You know what's crazy? Ben? Last weekend I
had to have a friend at fs R helped me
with my laptop because my memory is now completely full
because my folder of Mallard drops is so huge right now,

(17:00):
laptop will not store anything else. So I literally was
going in and deleting family photos. No, it's okay, I
got them backed up their old pictures. Well, I'm sure
the company will take care of that right away. No,
that will not take care. Then they're efforting it right now,
they're efforting it. Never heard of him? What do we

(17:24):
got here? Tammy says, I hope Ozzy Bowl moved Bowel
Hazzy Bowel Movements. Damny Ozzy Bow Movement's wife has filled
a file for divorce since all he is interested in
is hideous Helen's dirty, smelly, pus filled warp covered Harry.

(17:44):
Grandma muff. Wow, Wait, can you say that on the podcast?
I don't ask me to say that again. That's a mouthful,
this hideous Helen's dirty, smelly, pus filled work covered Harry.
Grandma muff Wait you just said it again? Oh? Did

(18:05):
I was that into the microphone? I better go man,
all right? Anyway, hideous, this is I'm Tammy hideous ref
reference to suffrage K K K and P one. She
should know about women's suffrage since she was alive when

(18:25):
it was voted on Wow. Tammy's email continues attacking Helen
and Stu. She says, yes, I am a p one,
unlike hideous Hellen, who can't figure out how to use
a phone. Maybe one of her John's could help her
a while. Uh to uh couldn't figure out to use

(18:46):
the phone to call and take on my verbal Octagon challenge,
or she is just a coward, Tammy writes, As far
as those three letters I heard, since she wears a
white sheet to cover her disgusting appear and she was
voted Grand Wizard, Tammy says of Helen, knowledgeable, kind, kick
ass are the three k's I am associated with, Tammy

(19:10):
and Montana. Right, okay, so things are going well between
these two. Right, that's a nice, nice friendship, nice bond
that's going on here. No, yeah, okay, I got you.
Just another day at the podcast, they're going back, they're
going back and forth at each other. I got mail, yea,

(19:30):
I got mail yea. So this next one is one
of the coolest emails I have got. And I thought
it was a scam, but it was not. And I'm
gonna try to pronounce this person's name Danny, and I'll
not do it justice the name oiven Vain. Oiven Vain,

(19:53):
who does that ring a bell? I never heard of him.
So I get this email and initially I thought this
is probably somebody asking me for money, but I clicked it.
It says, Hello, I'm a radio enthusiast living in the
city of Trodden, Trondheim in Norway. It's my hobby to
catch different radio stations throughout the world, and at this

(20:16):
time of the year it's possible to hear quite a
few stations broadcasting from the United States due to favorable
atmospherical conditions. So what I do to record? The guy says,
So what I do is to record station identifications, and
I sent an audio clip and asked for a confirmation

(20:37):
on my reception. Now, this actually, believe it or not,
goes all the way back to December. Guy says, on December.
On the fifte December, I listened to w E n
E Fox Sports fourteen thirty am from to thirty five
am local time, just when the show comes on a

(20:58):
little after that to third five am local time in
New York State. And I made a recording at three am,
which I attached, and then he sent a recording of
w E n E, and the email continues UH and
says the point is I collect verifications and I would

(21:18):
much appreciate if you would email me a confirmation of
my reception. Blah blah blah blah blah. He says, the
receiver he uses is pretty advanced and connected to a
directional antenna, and this equipment is situated on an island
at our west coast, west coast of Norway, close to
the Atlantic and not far from where I live in

(21:42):
mid Norway. And the guy's been around the block a
few times. He says, it's been my hobby since nineteen
sixty nine. He says, this is the first time I've
ever heard W E N E fourteen thirty and so
that is the email, and he sent me the audio

(22:02):
link and did you click on it? What were you
rambling about on the air? Well, it was the top
of the hour and then it was my it was
our show, and it was it was kind of staticky.
But the fact that guy's in freaking Norway, Dandy, the
guys in Norway. I don't know why Kyler Murray rant
I know, I know, I you know what cares about that.

(22:26):
But that's kind of cool, and especially the fact that
this guy is still going for it. He's obviously an
older guy, has been doing this this nineteen nine, but
then he's still doing it. At this point, when you
can just click on a website and knock yourself out right,
you don't. You don't need to necessarily go to the
links that this guy's doing. But that's part of the
magic radio. To me, that's part of the magic radio

(22:48):
that that this guy is doing it. I'm looking. I
went to there's a pretty cool website if you're a
radio nerd radio and then slash a locator slash locator
dot com I think it is, and that you just
type in cities or call editors and they'll give you
the daytime coverage map and the nighttime coverage map. So

(23:11):
I clicked on our affiliate in Endicott, New York. That
station at at nighttime when I'm on that particular station
is not a boom and radio station. The coverage on
that it's five thousand watts, which is okay, but we

(23:34):
have fifty thou watch stations all over the United States.
That station is located in Binghamton, New York. So from Binghamton,
New York, all the way across the Atlantic, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing,
bouncing all the way to Norway, the middle of Norway.
Our electronics teacher when I was a kid used to
tell us, think of a rock skipping on the water.

(23:57):
That skip effect in the atmosphere, and so it could
skip to another country. It's cool. It's old school. It's
old school. I love that he's still doing it, so
thank you for that email. Oiven Vang from Troddenheim, Norway.
A listener to the Ben Maller showed Fox Sports Radio
from Binghamton, New York all the way to Norway. That

(24:21):
was that was pretty cool. So alright, let's go back
to it. Pierre from Springfield, right, since it's Ben, I
know that you've said sponsors are not really keen on
you improvising the ad copy, he writes, but in this case,
I feel like they would appreciate your input. I recently

(24:42):
heard an ad buy you for a popular sports betting
site where you mentioned the conference finals and the four
teams remaining, yet you didn't use your trademark final four.
I feel this addition to the copy would really make
the ad pop side. Pierre, well, that's that's a great idea.
I did get a nice message Danny this week from

(25:04):
a woman who's that they listened. She listens with her
husband to the show sometimes. Her husband's a p one
and she she said she wanted I debut a new
game on Monday night, Sunday to Monday the Mallard Militia feud.
So she commented on that, and she then said, I'd
like you to keep saying the final four. My husband

(25:27):
gets very upset. I'm paraphrase, my husband gets very upset
when you say that, and I like that, so keep saying.
So I'm doing it. I'm doing it for that woman,
is what I'm doing. That's that's pretty funny. How did
that game go? It actually went shockingly well. You've been
with me for some terrible game show ideas that I've had.

(25:49):
This actually was pretty popular. People liked it, which means
it will likely suck next week. But the beginning maiden
voyage very successful, very successful, and we'll see what happens,
and I might even give it more time next week.
Here we got mail, yea, I got mail yea. All right,
Kevin in Kansas, right, since it's dear ben at Danny g. Recently,

(26:10):
I had a dream where you and your crew were
doing lame jokes of the week from a small bar
that looked like a cave. He says, Eddie was faced
down on the table being your straight man. Roberto would
pop out of some side room periodically, and Coop was
in a separate cave room with the body of a

(26:34):
weightlifter and the head of a little boy, saying nothing, Wow,
quite the dream you, of course, where your usual serious self.
Benn and Danny ge what do you think that this
dream means? Okay, so you want to interpret the dream here?
What do you think, Danny? You into a dream interpretation?

(26:54):
What do you think is going on here with our
buddy Kevin in Kansas? Like a freak show at the circus? Yeah? Yeah,
I like that he has Eddie faced down on the table.
That's oh, you know, because Ed he's passed out. He's
at the small little bar and he's ham It's like
his wife forcing him to be a Chargers fan and

(27:16):
he's getting a thunderbolt up the butt and he's getting
on CBS every Charger game because the director says, find
me a Charger fan, and there's like five of them
and they have to that's a cheap shot. All right
about Roberto coming out of a side room. That sounds racist.

(27:36):
And he's got Coop as a weightlifter, but with the
head of a little boy. Well that you can explain
that from the internet because they did one of those
Where are they now as far as child stars child actors?
And remember they had that buff looking guy that was
supposed to be Coop as an adult. Oh yes, I
remember that. The tabloids in London did that. Yeah, that

(27:56):
was quite hilarious. Let's see what is next year? Come
back pay touching it's sign from now? Call all right
Nick in Wisconsin. Right, since as I recently injured my back,
I fractured it and with certain movements it hurts like
a son of a bit. Question for you guys is
what is the worst pain you have ever experienced and

(28:17):
what was the injury? Getting hit in the nuts excluded.
So the worst pain I've ever felt was the gall
bladder a couple of years back, and I had my
gall bladder cut out of me and I was in
the hospital for a week, and that was that was horrific.
I also I injured my tailbone years ago and that

(28:37):
was a real, real nasty situation with the tailbone. Those
are probably the two worst things to get the tailbone.
You have to everywhere you sit. It's painful and you
can't get comfortable. And you've got to get one of
those pads with like a doughnut pad so you can
sit down. Terry, what about you, daddy? Ah. The kidney

(28:58):
stone is the worst thing a man can deal with.
They say it's worse than childbirth, and I believe it,
ben because you are sitting in a scalding hot bathtub
just rocking back and forth, wishing you were just dead,
because it's that sort of pain where you would just

(29:18):
rather be dead. It hurts that bad. I've never felt
anything like that. And when you go through that and
you're done, you feel like, well, I pretty much died
and came back. I could go through anything. Yeah, That's
kind of how I felt with the gallbladder thing. I
was like, well, I man, I'm here still, and so
that was pretty nasty and I survived that, so I'll

(29:41):
just keep going. I'll keep keep doing my thing. Let's
see here, who is next? I got mail? Yea, I
got mail yea Fred in Spring, Texas. Right, so he says, hey, there,
welcome back. When preparing your Mallard monologues. Fred says, do
you compose the monologue and then pick out your three

(30:02):
keywords or do you first pick your keywords and then
flesh out the model. So, Fred, there's a method to
the madness. You're never supposed to know how they make
the hot dog. I was gonna say, I don't want
to know this. It's gonna for me. Yeah, I won't
give it away. I'll just say that it's there's not
one consistent formula, and there's a lot of bullet points

(30:23):
and putting things, the ideas together and things that you know.
So just just listen. You don't want to just enjoy
exactly eat the Baba Ga news? What's wrong with you?
Eat the baba Nose? I didn't mean to ruin his
question there, but there are some things in radio that
even US radio guys don't want to know the answer
to that is correct, seat right. It's like magic. I

(30:45):
love magic, but once you learn how it trick's done,
it it's magic a little bit, You're like, wait, because
then I'm gonna hear you cooking up the stew in
your monologue and I'm gonna be like, I know exactly
how he did that and I'll just turn the chat.
This doesn't have the number one station anymore, is it.
I'm proud of myself though this week, Danny, because I

(31:06):
mentioned Lionel Ritchie in the Commodore's in a Dallas Maverick monologue.
I was happy about that. I'm patting myself on the
back for that. And I know that's an outdated reference,
but the Commodore is I I made a reference to
they missed all those shots back in game one the Mavericks.
So I said, it's like, it's like Lionel Ritchie in

(31:27):
the Commodore is a brick house. But I'm bumped. You
know it's cool is when you were away on your travels,
I found that old Lionel Richie drop. Oh, you found
that the classic advice line where the caller would call
in all the time and anybody like, che hello. I

(31:47):
remember that. That's great. The Lionel Ritchie guy. Uh yeah,
I forgot about that guy. He just immediately came back,
come back. It's sign from now I call all right,
Mr Luciano. Right, So he says, question for both of
you guys on the podcast, if you guys were not
on the radio, what other things do you guys see

(32:08):
yourself doing for a living? He says, and then he
has more. He says, one last thing, kudo. So both
of you on doing a great job with the podcast,
Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen or Steph Curry and Clay
Thompson have nothing on you. That's Mr Luciano. So we
get asked this question from time to time. What would
you do if you were in radio and we've got
bills to pay, so we'd have to get a job.

(32:28):
I've often said in the past, Danny, that I would
work at Costco. I'd be the shopping cart guy. That
would be my thing. I think also like being a
lawyer would be kind of cool if I could do that, Uh,
playing the stock market investments something along those lines. I
can see you argue again Court you would just start

(32:49):
yelling louder than everybody else. Now I just saw you.
That's a red herring. That's a red herring. That's a
red herring. That's a strong mac that's a loud equitter.
You have the facts, you you pound the facts. You
have no facts, you pound the table or something like that.
But what would you do, Dannyway have you changed from

(33:13):
last time we got asked this question, have you. I
don't know. Realistically, I would be a house guest of
weed man, hippie. You're pushing a shopping cart somewhere, just
living on the beach, care free. Dream wise, dream scenario.
I would be like a fire captain, following my grandfather's
footsteps and run a firehouse. Now, when I was back east,

(33:36):
they have the smallest city, especially in the South, I
saw where they're like local neighborhood firehouses. But in where
where we are, we don't have that. We have like
professional firefight. Yeah, so I would have to move to
the East coast. You probably do that right now. If
you lived in like North Carolina, you could be a
community firefighter. Well that's probably what I'm gonna wind up

(33:57):
doing after this podcast. Yeah, I'm of money. I got mail,
I got mail. Yeah, your time today, Adrian in the
Mile High City Rights, He says, Ben and Danny Gee,
during the last few weeks, I've been able to catch
up on the Overnight Show podcast episodes. While driving the
water meter reading vehicle at my job, and he says,

(34:21):
what's with this guy Joe and Rhode Island And we
haven't heard from my favorite caller in a while, Sean
the Hood Guy. All right, we'll keep listening to the podcast, Adrian,
because you'll be in for a treat. And there's a
big update on Joan Rhode Island and uh, and we
also had a call from Sean Hoodgan uh. And then

(34:41):
Adrian says, there is a computer mounted over the passenger seat.
As I drive, the antenna on the top of the
vehicle picks up the water meter and reads and there's
a little dot on the screen and it disappears. Think
of it as a giant pac Man game. And you
can't see this to anybody. Sent me a photograph half
and it does look like a video game. That's pretty cool.

(35:04):
So he drives around and then just make sure all
the dots are clicked and he's good to go. He
also says my wife and I. Adrian says, we're at
Costco a few weeks ago, and I was pleased to
see samples are back. One guy even hooked me up
with a red bag of kettle corn chips. It was
like kettle corn, you'll like these chips. He sent me

(35:28):
a photo. Try them out next time you're at Costco.
I also saw a huge bag of the Mallard cold remedy,
and he's got, of course garlic in case you ever
need to stock the medicine cabinets of the kitchen for
the Mallard pizza paya. And he says, lastly, when will
you be in Denver for a meet and greet? We

(35:49):
could all meet at the sports Book Bar and Grill
in Greenwood Village for a Mallard buffalo chicken sandwich, signed
Adrian in the Mile High City. I would love to
at Denver and hang out and eat the chicken sandwich.
We should make that happen. And I was excited. I
did my first Mallard meet and greet since Seattle and Appleton,

(36:11):
Wisconsin a couple of weeks ago, and that was cool.
And if you can do a Mallard meet and greet
in Green Bay slash Appleton, you can do it anywhere.
You know. We were just talking Danny about surviving you
kidney stones and me the gall bladder, and you feel
like you're invincible. Well, when you do a meet and
greet and Appleton, Wisconsin, you feel like you can literally

(36:32):
meet anyone anywhere, at any time, any place. So Denver
would be outstanding. Lots of great places to eat obviously
your signature dish there, and lots of cool people, lots
of good things to smoke and drink and and ben.
You could get eight dollar loaded nachos at the stadium

(36:55):
there and watch the Rockies lose to our Dodgers. That's
what me and the ten Roni did at the start
of last baseball season. We flew with the kids to Denver,
went to watch our Dodgers beat the Rockies, and we
were blown away by the reasonable prices inside the stadium.
That's cool, that's that's neat five dollar to coke five dollars,

(37:18):
which is still too much, but compared to what we
were used to. Yeah, basically, it's half of what we
have to pay here where we live. Yeah, it's wild
and crazy, all right, we'll keep it going here on
the good to hear from Adrian. Adrian is like a
super duper fan. Like this guy's next level, Like he

(37:38):
has his kids wearing Mallar theme shirts and Stuff's wow.
I gotta meet Adrian at some point. I gotta come
to Denver to meet Adrian, or next time he's in
l A at Disneyland, I'll meet him. Chris and Marracca
to Iowa says for both you, Ben and Danny, g
do you subscribe to the household law of if it's yellow,
let it mellow and if it's brand, flush it down

(38:00):
in the land of bathroom etiquette? And he says, ps
go right as from Chris, Yeah, I like Chris, of
course you do. He's a fellow RADS fan. How upset
were you, by the way, Danny, that story that came
out the other day that the NFL considered moving the
Raiders to St. Louis and changing the name of the

(38:20):
rebranding the team. That would have sucked. What would you
have done? I would have had to find a different
team to root for. Yeah, I would have had people
vote on it the way you used to. That was
a fun bit until they started voting. Me a Jacks
fan and a Browns fan and a Jets fan. For
a while, I was a Cowboy fan Patriot fan. It

(38:40):
was going to rocking a Raider hat. You look good
in that Raider hat, all right? Is do you still
have your your Raider hat? You do? I have a
Ben Mallard Raider hate Then you're the pirate on the hat.
The greatest thing about that is no one knows unless
they they're in on the joke, so they think that's
just a regular Raider logo. But it's been doctor As

(39:04):
far as the yellow, let it mellow brown, flush it did?
I flush everything. I'm a flush thank you, thank you.
Nothing should be left in the bowl when you're finished.
Flush everything. And people that let the yellow, like my
cousin does this. I would visit him up in the
Bay Area and he would always have this gross piece

(39:26):
sitting in his toilet and I'm like, dude, what are
you doing. He's like, I'm saving water, and I'm like, yeah,
you're stinking up the bathroom, is what you're doing. That
old urine smell is one of the worst smells. So
how anybody can have that in the restroom, I'm not sure. Yeah,
I'm right there with you. It's a nasty smell. And
then and if you leave it in long enough, your

(39:47):
toilet starts to turn yellow. You gotta pour bleach in there.
It's a whole big to do. Who wants to deal
with that bullshit? I certainly don't say. When you're on
the throne, when you get off the throne, you you
hit that little button right there and a little switch
and then all of a sudden it goes away. All right,

(40:08):
all right, Michael listener, Michael, right, and he says it's
got a cup fan Mike from Fort Wayne, Indiana. He says,
are animal crackers a cookie or a cracker? All right, Danny,
cookie or a cracker? Well, I would say, since the
name is cracker, I go cracker. And it makes you

(40:31):
think that you're eating something that's somewhat healthy, because a
cracker on my big board, Danny's healthier than a cookie.
So if you tell yourself you're eating an animal cracker
and it's not a cookie, then boom, you're you're just
a little bit healthier. But I would just push back
on this because there's a lot of sugar in it.

(40:52):
You're eating sugar. You're not eating a salty cracker. That's true.
But it's like breakfast. You you know, the the cookie,
what's the cookie cereal? I'm thinking of here that I
can't cooking crisp cookie crisp. Yeah, you're eating little chocolate
chip cookies, true, or look in the form of a
cereal with milk. Yeah, but they call it a breakfast food.

(41:13):
They breakfast supposed to be healthy. You're eating chocolate chip cookies.
There're sitting a little seven rolls or whatever. And so
breakfast could be sweet or it could be salty or both.
I just think a cracker. I think of a saltine
and a or a wheat fin or like your crack
ass cracker. Not I love wheat thins, man, I could
eat Oh my god, they're like pringles. They're the healthier

(41:34):
version of pringles. You once you start eating them, you
just can't stop. I gotta get some wheat thins. I
have not had wheat thins. And sometimes but I'll eat
the whole box. I'll sit there and I will not
stop till that thing's gone. I will consume the whole
damn box. Yeah, now that's a cracker. But but those animals,
if there's sweetness involved, to me, that's a cookie. It's

(41:57):
like those years ago when I said I was younger.
My my mom would buy every new product the grocery,
sort of try out, you know, she saw something that
she liked, which most people do. But there was this.
There were these granola bars they were selling, but they
were just chocolate bars. They had granola, but they had
like Newgate and all the like this. It was all

(42:18):
the ingredients of a candy bar, but they were they
were marketed as a granola bar, and I would eat
so many of those freaking things. I got so fat
for me. But in my head, I'm eating granola bars.
They're healthy. It can't be bad for you. It just
happens to have chocolate on it. That's it, you know.
I have bad flashbacks to where my mom would get
trail mix, but instead of chocolate, it would be those

(42:39):
carab chips. Oh, you can't spring for some chocolate trail mix.
What is this carab crap in here? Yea nasty that's
not good. It's kind of like when you're at Easter
you get that Easter bunny and you bite into it.
You think it's solid, and then it's hollow, and you're like,
what's what's up with that? You couldn't afford a nice,

(43:02):
thick chocolate easter bunny, you gotta get the hollow and
what's up with that? All right? What is next? Here?
On the Old Male Bag? These again are actual letters
from actual listeners to the show, and alright, Mike from
Fullerton Rights, and he says, with the Chargers schedule release
video breaking all kinds of viewing Records. Is now the

(43:26):
perfect time for Coop Scoop on Entertainment to start covering
anime and video games as well. I guarantee it'll be
the highest rated segment of the show at Danny G's school. Danny,
are the kids at your school still into the anime?
Is it all about that anime? Boss? There's a couple

(43:47):
of emma looking kids who have some anime shirts that
I've seen them wear, but other than that, I don't
see it or hear about it. No. And it's funny
also because this has come up in a conversation with
my tender Rony. She is convinced that all anime is porn.
Uh and I I don't understand anime. Yeah, well I

(44:10):
have a close relative, shall we say, who does enjoy
the anime? And it'll be on sometimes and I'll be like,
what the what are you watching this? What is it?
What is it all porn? I mean there's a lot
of big breasted people, and uh, you know there's I
can't watch stuff that's not porn. Anime porn is does

(44:31):
it lean sexual even though it's not anime porn? I
gotta tell you, Danny, I have not watched I'm in
there and I watched it. I'm like, what are you doing?
And then I like I I yell and I kind
of mumble a little bit and then I move on.
But it's just not in my wheelhouse. That's before my
that's after my time. I mean, I'm old school. I

(44:51):
watching you know, Tom and Jerry and crap like that
and rerun that and the Jetsons, and anime to me
is the g force. That was where the Japanese cartoonists
would uh, you know, serve us up those awesome cartoons
and every other word would be huh. For some reason,

(45:11):
they think Americans say huh every other word and that.
But that was awesome, right, Like they turned into superheroes,
these characters. That was an awesome cartoon. But now flash
forward too, I'm not sure. I guess we need an
anime class from our buddy Alex tie shirt. Yeah, I
was just gonna bring Tysher's name up. We've had him

(45:32):
on the podcast. He is blowing up. I told him
the other night. He goes to these animated mentions. He
has a couple of podcasts about anime and you might
as well be speaking Russian. Uh. I had no, I
had no idea. I know it bushes, but that's about it.
But so you just tell me the whole story. And
and it's got this it's not evenly a niche. It's

(45:52):
it's really popular with young people and and so the
theory is when they get older, they're gonna still like it.
But he's he's got some gigs me like the Ryan
Seacrest of anime and travel around to anime conventions, and
so it's pretty pretty wild, man. We should do an
anime version of the show. We could do that, like

(46:13):
an anime version of the show. All right, what is
next year? Keep it going on the mail a little
more time. I got mail, yea, I got mail, yea,
Angelina writes, And she said, I heard your trip itinerary
on an earlier podcast and the two podcast about it afterwards.
It would have been really fun to have met you

(46:35):
in Wisconsin, but she says Appleton is about four hours
away from the k fan Minneapolis St. Paul, Western Wisconsin area. Bumber,
But she said she did enjoy hearing about the adventures.
Good job, she says to Danny g on the podcast
while you were gone, and glad to have you back.

(46:55):
Hope you get to the Twin Cities area at some point. Yeah.
So I was looking at the map, and it is
a long drive year and and I we had a
couple of people from Minnesota, had several people said they
were gonna drive over to Wisconsin. I was I was
slightly disappointed that none of them showed up from Minnesota.
I know there's a rival where you between Wisconsin and
Minnesota and all that, but I thought at least one

(47:16):
person from Minnesota a job. So I'm looking at the map,
and I do every couple of years. I figure I
have to go back to Appleton to visit my brother.
And I flew into Chicago because it's cheaper. But next
time I could fly into Minneapolis and then drive across Minnesota,
drive around all the lakes and all that, and drive
through Wisconsin and go and go that way. I think

(47:37):
I think I'll try doing that next time. That is
one state I've always wanted to visit. I'm very curious
to check out Minnesota. Yeah, I've only been to the airport.
I've changed flights in Minnesota a couple of times over
the years. And that's it so beautiful when you're landing,
very love I've not landed in the winter. I imagine
it's much different vibe in the winter. But I've been

(47:57):
there in the spring or the fall or summer where
you know, usually in the spring or the summer, it's
bright green, there's water everywhere. It's pretty if you're into
that kind of thing. Uh, we have a time for
one more, Only one more, alright. This one's from Jason
in Rocky Mount, Virginia and says, so, then you finally

(48:19):
had bo Jangles on your trip. I did, Jason in
Rocky Mount. I should have brought it. I did. Yeah, right,
I did eat it twice, So I finally had bo
Jangles in your trip. I'm glad you enjoyed it more
than the other places. It is my favorite in this area.
Although if I ever get out to the West one day,

(48:39):
I will try raising canes. Uh So no, no real
this this week. Just glad to have you like, all right.
So there's there's Jason and Jangles was good. Of the
fried chicken sandwich places in the South that I tried,
that was my favorite. I did enjoy that very much.

(49:00):
And as as you said, Danny, I went back and
my last meal in Virginia before we got on the
Big Bird to fly back to the West Coast? Was
was it bo Jangles? Now, since you've been back, have
you had any fried chicken withdrawals? Uh? No, I have
eaten a lot of In and Out though since I
got back, I've gone back to the In and Out,

(49:21):
which is the West Coast version of the as we
talked about, Culver's in Wisconsin, the great butter Burger Place. Anyway,
enough about that, what do you have to promote? What's
going on with you? In Danny G's world? You now
have a thirty second vignette to promote whatever you want
to do a commercial about you, you name it, anything
going on with you you want to promote. Yeah, Well,

(49:43):
first of all, I'm hungry, even though it's the morning
time right now, I'm gonna go get in and out Burger,
and then I'm gonna make my way to the FSR
studios to produce Covino and Rich and then in the
evening time it will be Arnie Spanier, who, by the way,
last week read a sweet from a listener of that
was trying to stir shut up saying that I only
referred to him and Chris Plank as your warm up. Uh. Alright,

(50:08):
here I am giving Arnie a plug, and he finds
a way to make it negative. Right. Did he then
pivot to talk about how he knew Steve Kerr in
high school? Did he didn't do that? I'm like, I'm like, Arnie,
you are the warm up to Ben Mallor and that
Chris Plank agreed. Yeah, it's kind of a fact, Arnie.
So here's a middle finger to Arnie, who's a joy

(50:29):
to work with every Sunday night. Oh Laker fairs on
the serious We all do get along with Arnie, but
the way he annoys all of us, and that comes
through on your speakers. I'm sure that is all real.
Arnie annoys everybody he works with. Because Ben, the day
that you're gonna work with him, he is constantly texting

(50:51):
you hours before his show is even gonna begin. He's like,
what which comrads am I going to connect on? I
don't know, Arnie. Your shows that for another ten hours.
That's great. Yeah, and I'm happy to report I am
not like that. I hope I never become like that. Not.
You know, I love Arnie. You know it's like a
Furman's like that too, the fur ball. Fur ball is

(51:14):
very similar. I want a mature guy, and I love
detail oriented people. But not ten hours before you're gonna
be on the air. There's some other programming on before you. Yeah, yeah,
you gotta you gotta pace yourself. It's you know, you're
gonna go go crazy thinking about all the stuff that
you have to worry about to get on the air
and get cooked up. Blah blah blah bla's not leave

(51:37):
it alone, leave it, let it breathe as attack. And then,
of course, after that show is over at eleven pm
R local time, that's when your first show of the
week begins. Yes, the new week will be here, and
I'm sure there'll be a lot of basketball and other
made for sports talk radio controversy, whatever the controversy, to

(51:59):
catch the week, the controversy of the week. We will
be there with blow by blows, a Brewder film style
frame by frame coverage of all of it and have
a wonderful arrest of your day. And again, if you
want to send an email in for a future podcast,
we'd love to read your question, just like these other
people that sent messages in. You can email me Real

(52:20):
fifth Hour at gmail dot com. That's R E A
L F I F T h our at gmail dot
com or go on the Facebook page Ben Maller Show,
usually Tuesday, sometimes on Monday. I'll pin it to the
top of the Facebook page and you can send a
question in and we could use it on the show.
So I have a great rest of your Sunday and

(52:42):
we'll talk to you next week in the podcast. But
tonight on the radio show, Asta posta gott a murder,
I gotta go
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Host

Ben Maller

Ben Maller

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