June 25, 2022 • 45 mins
Ben Maller and his 5th Hour home-slice Danny G. have a fun Saturday in the can for you! They talk chariot awaits, empty bottle, horse meat, say hello to my lil' friend, back scratcher and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and
welcome into the podcast, O Joe for yet another thrilling,
riveting Additionally, Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio.
(00:46):
All these a lot of drama. See I had the
wrong buttoner, But but anyway, here we are amazingly for
another Saturday, Life of Mallard, Life of Day any g
podcast A ton of stuff to get to. I hope
you enjoyed the conversation with Serge from yesterday's podcast. I
(01:10):
was so happy to track him down and he told
some stories. I I had worked with Serge a little
bit in the early days of Fox Sports Radio, but
he was telling me things I had no idea about
how he had gotten into the business and some of
the things he had accomplished, and how down on his
luck he was being homeless in Manhattan's Wild Stories that
(01:33):
he told. So if you miss that, go back and
check it out the Friday podcast. But Danny g we
have to keep marching forward, right, That's how that works. Yes, Well,
you know what was really cool about listening to that
Serge interview yesterday. He came up randomly in conversation when
we were doing the mail bag and we answered a
(01:53):
question about going on a cruise and yes, yeah, we
were like, we should get him on the podcast them
bam bang. So that that's cool. I like it when
things come up like that spontaneously. Yeah, I I I
was wondering his name, as you said. We came up
and he had told me stories about working on cruise
(02:15):
ships and what that was like like living on a
cruise ship traveling around the Atlantic Ocean, and it was
very interesting to me at the time. I was like, Wow,
I've never been on a cruise ship. I still have.
The only ship I've ever really been on is the
Queen Mary, which doesn't leave a long beach. And and
so you're telling me what it was like and you know,
living there and eating all the food, and the other
(02:37):
celebrities that would come and go off the boat. So
it was interesting and and I had no idea as
as I said, some of the other stuff that he
had done, but it was cool and hopefully we'll have
him on again at some point. So on the big
podcast today, the one you're listening to right now, which
is the most important podcast because that's the one you're
(02:57):
listening to, and so that means it's the most important
because it's the one you've got right now. So we
have your Chariot awaits empty bottle, horse meat, say Hello
to my little Friend, and another riveting back scratcher, among
other things. I don't know what else is gonna pop up,
(03:18):
but we begin with this. So what a night it
was on our Friday overnight show, the Ben Maller Show Friday,
which is Thursday and the Friday. Some people consider it
completely Friday. Other people say it's still Thursday night because
you haven't been to bed yet. I think of it
more as Thursday night. But nonetheless, it's the Friday shows
(03:41):
the last year of the week. So if you were
listening live and in stereo, you heard it all play
out on the air, as helmet Man would say, the
live air, as he used to say, And one of
the more enjoyable shows. I'm gonna say right now, I'm
going on the record, I'm not gonna pull any punches here.
That was my favorite show of the year. It was awesome.
(04:06):
What happened, I'm gonna tell you so, I if you're
listening here, I hope you enjoyed the Shenanis And that
was the two NBA Draft night. But that is not
why this was a special night. As you know, Danny,
I am luke warm when it comes to the NBA
(04:27):
JF This used to be one of my favorite things,
the NBA Draft, but I don't really get all that
worked up for the NBA Draft anymore. Uh, it's way
down on my list of things that are cool. So
that's kind of lackluster, exactly exactly. And the Clippers had
like a second round pick, a drafted some guy who's
gonna be stashed in a G League team somewhere for
(04:49):
five years, so who care? So Uh. The the show
that we did, though, and you know, it's up to
you something it was it was to me more enjoyable,
but you've a listener after the side. We had more
Razmatans on that show. We had more Razmatazz on our
show than the NBA did our one. Danny featured a
(05:13):
trip to the octagon, the verbal octagon, Justin and Cincinnati
versus blind Scott from Boston, and it was like razor
wire and highro technics and it's crazy. Maybe these guys
have been listening for a long time so they kind
of get the show and all that, and uh, it
(05:35):
was cool. I Justin came out very methodical, meticulous, disciplined,
and then blind Scott, because he's blind, Scott just came
out loose, cannon, scatter, shot, helter skelter, and Scott's phone
crap the bed. In round number one, it was all
(05:56):
all messed up. He actually sent me an email he
said he got a phone call about some Wall Street thing.
Next when you're when you're blind, obviously you talks to
you and so anyway, his phone cut out. So the
first round was a disaster, and and then in in
round number two, both of them Danny got dumped, both
(06:17):
got dump which was a problem. Now we let it
continue because Justin had a borderline dump. He made an
abortion joke which very controversial and well, you'd have to
talk to Cooper Loop and Roberto, who immediately hit the
button and ejacked, ejacked, ejacked, So that happened. I yeah,
(06:48):
you know, I would have let it go because we're
in the overnights. And but then part of me was like, oh,
that's a good call because the one thing we don't
want on a Friday show is a call from the boss. Yeah,
you know how that good point. I guess when it's
like on the borderline like that, it's better safe to
be sorry it's on the periphery. Is somebody really gonna
(07:10):
get that worked up at two three in the morning
because of that? And get ah, yeah, I gotta I
gotta get a pound of flesh now because somebody justin
and Cincinnati made a joke. So then we went to
Scott and blind. Scott then talked about um, actually he
said sexual acts with a goat. Uh, that's what he
(07:33):
did there, And so we had to dump that for
obvious reasons, and uh dumped. Yeah, that's definitely that, that's
a dump. That's definitely a dump. Uh. He was not
talking about Tom Brady, by the way, he was talking
about actual, actual goats. And so then we went to
the final round. We thought, why not, it's a mad house,
let's keep going. We went to the final round and
(07:55):
blind Scott, this is where it really took next level.
So on one, Scott's phone died. Round two, he made
a comment a joke, we had a dump. Round three,
blind Scott turns into a one man band, Like, just imagine,
if you will, Danny, You're like Vegas, Fremont Street in Vegas,
Venice Beach, the Atlantic City Boardwalk, South Beach in Miami,
(08:21):
New Orleans. Yeah, what did I what did it sound like?
I love you? Oh no, I don't do that. Don't
You're gonna give me a PTSD. Benny and the weed Man,
Benny and the weed Man. Uh So, anyway, so blind Scott,
just imagine we're doing the final round. They're both on
the air at the same time. It's a steelcage deathmatch,
(08:43):
and he starts doing this one man band thing. He's
like playing music like he's it sounds like he's got
some instruments and he's like, simultaneously in my head, he's
using his hands, his feet, his all of his limbs,
and he's got all these contractions contraction, it's not contract contraptions,
and and it was it was really I was like
(09:04):
genuinely defying It was so stupid and it was funny
and it was completely off the track. Even Eddie got
dumped Facebook dot Com, slash podcast make that boy, Well,
this was also a borderline dumb I want to get
your pig? Did he say Fox Sports Radio? Yes? Yes,
(09:25):
and he named all of our bosses went one by one. No, No,
Eddie was dump because he used and I can't even
say it because I'm told we'll get in trouble. He
used a trademarked phrase from a very litigious boxing announcer,
A ring announcer. Yeah, I got a cease and desist
(09:46):
from that guy when I was broadcasting in Santa Barbara. Yeah,
the guy's uh. I don't know how many lawyers he has,
but they are non stop going with a you know,
it's the actually we say the the rumble in the uh?
Can we say it on the podcast? No, I don't
think damn it. I don't like so how about we
can rhyme it though? Well, yeah, that's actually what I said.
(10:09):
Let's get ready to go in the jungle or something
like that. What else rhymes with that? What do this?
What get fetti to bumble? There you go? You can
do that, bom done anyway, So Coop freaked out when
I Eddie had said that, And then I'm looking at
the red I have this button like a game show
button in the studio and when something gets dumped, it
(10:31):
lights up. So this thing lit up, and I was like,
what did what got dumped? This Eddie got what do
you say? I didn't realize it, and then like like
ynt it? So now that's like instead of seven deadly words,
it's it's add that phrase to the to the deadly word.
It was all in fun. But that was just the appetizer.
(10:52):
That was just the appetizer on the Friday show to
the main event and in the third hour. So this happened,
This octagon happened in the first stour in the third
hour of the radio programs. There was Cooper opened up
all the blinds so we could look out onto Ventura Boulevard.
(11:14):
Paul Butter right there at the corner, and Danny I
saw something that was the most beautiful thing I had
seen in a long time as far as a non
human being. Our chariot, how do arrive? That's right right,
p one moving man. Matt made the pilgrimage all the
(11:40):
way from Boston to the mecca of Fox Sports Radio,
and there it was the rig from the gods. And
now I had hung out with Matt. I've met Matt
over the years a couple of times in the Commonwealth.
We had Mallard meet and greets in Boston, and I
even hung out with him Vic briefly at a truck
(12:01):
stop in the Inland Empire, Ontario in so Cal, but
never at the studio till this week. Um Maddie was here.
He was doing some business in San Diego and Orange
County Camp Pendleton, some military families moving their stuff back
to the Northeast, and he came by and for those
that maybe missed the show and don't know, Matt has
(12:23):
the only verified mobile billboard for a sports radio show
in the world. I mean, right there on the side
of his trailer, on the back of his rig is
the name of our radio show, my show. It's it's
all outstanding, Yeah, I mean, he spent a lot of
money on that. That stuff is not cheap at all,
(12:45):
and and he's he's going for it. And so it's
the greatest guerrilla marketing you could possibly want, because it's
not just like a billboard sits there and people see
the billboard whatever they drive by. But this thing wowsers.
It's all over the country, Dad is. He goes to
(13:06):
all forty eight continental United's, you know, every state in
the continental United States he visits, and it's it's really
one of the coolest things that's ever happened by any
fan of the show. Certainly it's better. I've been a
radio twenty plus year, and I can't believe it's been
that long. But by far, this is the coolest advertising
and really the only advertising I've ever had. Uh. You know,
(13:29):
all there's some shirts I I had made or listeners
made for the show, but but you know, Maco is
all over the place. He's a long haul mover and
he's on the road. He told us three hundred days
a year. And he said, business is really good right
now for a guy like that, because there's that mass
exodus Danny from California where people are leaving California still
(13:50):
and heading back to the eastern part of the United States,
and so, uh, it's really it's really good for him.
And he's making bank and I'm a guy works his
ass off working much and so it's really cool. We've
all heard the stories about how much a U haul
truck is from California to Arizona or Texas. They are
(14:10):
jacking those prices up the past couple of years. Yeah,
it's it's not It's not a pleasant situation on your
pocketbook at all. And as an added bonus, but wait,
there's more, dame. As an added bonus, moving man Matt
brought his travel buddy Louis Louis. Hey, Louie Louis is
(14:31):
an insanely cute French bulldog rff. Oh nice. Yeah, and
it was great our canine friend. We brought him into
the broadcast O Joe and it was going really well.
Louis was well behaved. But there was one thing that
went bad. Uh, you want to take a guess what happened?
What Louis did? He whizzed on Coope's foot. Well, that
(14:56):
that would have been That would have been great, That
would have been wonderful, RADI. It did not do that, alright, Yes,
number two here we yes, number two. Uh, he left
a doggy land mine on the carpet. Doggy land mine
on the carpet. Hey, fine, guess you would think that
possible Louis might have done that. No, it turns out
(15:18):
that Louis decided he wanted to leave some of Louis behind,
but not number one or number two. What did Louis do?
He was shedding. Yeah, so the floor of the studio. Like,
I put Louis on my lap. The guy I love dogs,
and Louis was a really cool, cool dog and I
(15:39):
was pett and Louis the doggie and I my lap
is covered in fur, you know that hair? And then
we put Louie down and uh yeah, it was his
hair in the air everywhere. And so and then we
did the segment. We had mad in for a segment
so we could chat with him. Why not at least
(15:59):
like could do the guy put the name on on
the bus of the program. And so did you post
a picture of the truck? Yeah, yeah, yeah yesterday on Friday. Uh,
if you if you go to the Instagram page or
the Facebook pitch Ben Mather Show on Facebook and Ben
Maller on Fox on Instagram, you can check out the
(16:21):
photos of that. It's pretty it's pretty cool. So, uh,
not only did Louie leave hair everywhere, uh, he attempted
to either eat or lick the microphone, which as you know,
as you know Danny from working a fox really would
not be the first or last gas bag to take
(16:43):
a bite out of a thousand plus dollar microphone. But
it was a wonderful night and Matt had he didn't
even stay at the end of the show. He had
head out to a truck stop. He was dead tired,
and a big tip of the camp I really I
wanna thank Louis. I want to thank moving man Matt,
and a big salut, a tip of the microphone to
all the hard working truck drivers, eighteen wheelers, guys with
(17:05):
those big rigs highways and byways all over America and beyond.
And that is really the backbone. If you do an
overnight radio show, who's listening, who's doing it live? A
lot of people on the podcast have normal jobs, but
the overnight it's a lot of truck drivers, security guards,
(17:25):
factory workers, people working for ups. So the post office bartenders,
short order cooks, dudes making donuts, the paper, more security
guards and drivers. Yeah, like all of that. So police criminals,
we got both sides, good and bad. Uh. Drug addicts, insomniacs,
(17:48):
those are those are my people. And I had a
fun time. That was a good night or radio that's
a good night. That makes up for the nights you
go in there and you're like, oh my god, what
am I it doing here? Which doesn't happen very awful everyone.
So we all have those days, no matter what your
job is, we all have those days. Right, You're like,
oh my god, that's a nice bonus for when you're
(18:09):
there in person. What what do you referring? What are
you referring? Well, I came in because of Matt h
and also being mandated by manager. So turning the page
on that, we have a Maller health update, a Mallard
health update. So last week we talked about some of
my dental issues Danny and my wife informed me. She
(18:33):
said she licks some stuff up on the internet that
if I had not gotten my messed up tooth, my
wisdom tooth taken care of that, it could have been
lights out. The infection was all over my face. It
was kind of spreading around my jaw. You could go
to your brain. I don't know, that's what she said.
(18:56):
She said she read some stuff on the internet and
people have died with this, So what is that even?
How's that passib But anyway, so it's something that has
actually k ode people. Lights out. That's it. Yeah. And
so I did have the dental surgery, and I've been
on all kinds of meds. Here only took I'm happy
(19:16):
to report I only took pain meds for two and
a half days after the operation. So I was worried
I was gonna get addicted, and so I decided to
I decided to use some decorum, some discretion and determination
and Grin and Barrett, just say no to the pills.
You're gonna stick to the weed, smoke weed. Yeah, I
(19:40):
don't need the pills. And so I was asked by
a listener on the mail I'll get to it. And
I forget who I should have put in the mail bag.
But it was like, was this worse than the gall bladder? No? No,
the gall bladder was I think that was was Mike
and something. But the gall bladder is worse, much worse.
The worst pain I've ever had in my life is
(20:02):
a gall blood. I thought I was going to visit
the Pearly Gates that night. That day, my uh, the
system stopped working there. That was That was it. But
is it true that the pill bottle is empty? Yes,
it is, damn not the painkillers, As I said, my
antibiotics have run their course. I was on ten days
(20:25):
every eight hours. I had to take these pills and
uh knocking all the gunk and the mold and the
slime and all that crap from the infection out of
my jaw and all that. So I am happy to reporter.
I'm not on any prescribed medications for any of the
illness or anything like that. One thing that I do
not want to have ever is on my plate horse meat.
(20:47):
That is not something I want. Danny is horse me chicken,
a burger, yes, but I don't want to have like
Secretariat on my plate. If you know what You know
what I'm saying. Well, I'm gonna get caught up on Twitter,
hopefully a TV show that I've been watching that I
haven't seen in a few weeks today on Saturday, after
I get done at the network, because all week long
(21:10):
it was a super busy week. It was my first
week teaching science for your people, Ben, you you could
appreciate this. It is a private Jewish school that I'm at. Yeah,
and you're a good mention. There's a mix of all
kids there, but obviously some of the regular students from
that school are there. Before you get carried. I gotta
(21:33):
tell you, Dannyl on the East Coast, like my my
brothers in Manhattan, like all the Jewish kids on the
East Coast go to summer camp, like that's the thing.
But I don't think that's really a deal. Out here
in California, right on the West coast, it's like a
Northeastern It's actually an art slash science camp. And I
am teaching science four classes in one day. So they
(21:56):
break it up and they have them out there doing
talent show stuff and throwing water balloons that's a classic.
They're dancing, they're singing. It's a pretty cool setup. But
for me, it's just been NonStop because they expect a
science project every day of the week and I have
(22:16):
sixty total kids. How many weeks is this? Is it
just this week or is it every you know? How
how long is the class after this week? Five more
weeks of this? Five more weeks where I am gonna
be dead? Wait? Wait? And you have every day you
have to come up with something new? Is every yep?
Every day a new lesson? Yeah? So what I did, though, well,
(22:40):
I got strategic and I stretched out a couple of
projects and I gave them two days for one of them,
three days for the other. So instead of doing one
new one every day, I was like, I told the
director of the program, I said, I didn't have enough
class time, so I had to stretch it into the
next day. And she's like, okay, that's fine. So they're
(23:03):
not sweating me, thank god. So next week, Ben, I
think I'm gonna do two days of finger painting, three
days of cutting out shapes. I have to find some
easier projects because I did these really cool cell phone speakers,
like a do it yourself project, and then I did
(23:23):
spaghetti bridges, a really cool engineering project. Dead tired because
I brought all the work home with me. But the
very first day, my first class comes in at nine am.
There's twenty kids in the first class and they're all
staring at me at the front of the classroom. So
I told him, all right, we'll go around the classroom.
(23:45):
You know that old deal. A lot of teachers do
that on the first day. Yeah, I'm like, I need
to know your names, tell me your favorite animal and
your favorite food. So now they're excited. They want to
tell us, they want to share this the class. So
of course there's a bunch of high maintenance kids, and
they're saying their favorite food is sushi. How all these
(24:07):
kids second to fifth grade, that's third and fourth grade
are eating sushi. A lot of kids in California. Man,
I've never had I've never had sushi, you know, Man,
I've never had sushi. I've never had coffee, I swear
to guy. Probably half the class said sushi. One kid though,
(24:31):
beating burgers and chicken fingers just like I'm eating. I'm
still eating that as a middle aged I mean. There
was some classics thrown in there. There was a couple
of pizzas, there was some pasta. Tacos. Tacos are gray.
Who doesn't love taco I think two kids said tacos.
Did anyone did any say get filter fish? Because if
they kicked them out of class immediately they say get
(24:52):
filth fan. So I get to Amber. She's in the
last row and she says, Hi, my name is her,
and my favorite thing to eat it's a horse. What
And she stopped, kind of realized what she said, and
(25:14):
the class just burst into laughter. She went in the
wrong runner. She meant to say her favorite animal. Uh,
she got carried away there. Yeah, what is she in
the goolag. If you'd like to eat horse meat, we
can send you to Russia and the Little China or
(25:35):
something like that where they eat horse. It is not
the horse thing, because I know I've talked about in
the past. I don't know if it's here somewhere else,
but like who it's always fascinated to me, like early
on when they decided to eat animals, like who made
the choice of the cow? And I did read somewhere
that the reason they didn't eat horses was not because
(25:56):
horses you couldn't eat horses, but it was because the
horse was so useful, because you needed the horse to
you know, move stuff around and to take you place,
as it was an automo beu. It was the old thing. Yeah,
otherwise people would just regularly beating horse, but it was
such a useful animal. They didn't do it the cows
like sits around and farts all the time. So that's
(26:19):
very cute to that girl though, That's hilarious. Yeah, it
was really funny. For the rest of the week, two
kids were reminding her of it there, like did you
have horse last night for dinner? Great? As you give
me pick it reminds me of that great Dennis Larry
stand up to where he talked about why do we
(26:39):
protect some animals but other ones we eat them? You know? Um,
Like he said, we throw out nets trying to catch
fish because we love to eat fish. Like we don't
give a shit about the fish or the tuna. But
if we accidentally catch a dolphin, everybody freaks out. It
is amazing. Like I've I've am and you ever swam
(27:01):
in like a school of fish, like I've done that
a few times, like sardines, surrounded by these little small
fish and it's one of the coolest things. I've done
it a few times, and it's amazing to me because
the fish have that sonar where even though you're surrounded
by a thousands of fish, you put your arm out,
(27:22):
you never actually hit one. Yeah, it's wild to me.
But yet they get caught all the time, don't they
get caught? I mean it's fascinating to me because because
of that. And then the other thing which is really
cool is in Catalina Island. You ever go to Catalina
off the coast, I don't know we brought this up
or not. Oh yeah, you gotta go, and there's a
(27:45):
there's a little trick you can do where you take
like ice. You know, you go to the frozen section
of the grocery store and you have like peas and stuff, Yeah,
frozen peas, and you take those and you you feed
the fish and they'll jump the there's so many fish
they will jump out of the water and like bite
your hand to get the frozen piece. Oh, that's crazy.
(28:08):
It is wild. It's like being in a reality a
fishing show or something like that where the fish attack
and it's like that. The missing I think is the
parts of the Mississippi River in Illinois. I believe it
is where they have the flying carp and all that.
That's uh, that's pretty cool. You just gave me a
great idea for a lesson plan. Get frozen peas. I'll
(28:29):
bring the kids out and we'll throw peas and I'll
tell them we're looking for fish. There. You go, no, no, well, there,
there's a ton of fish. I don't know us in
Fernando Valley or wherever you're at teaching, I don't know
about that. Are there any fish any an? They're like,
that's a muddy puddle. I don't think there's any fish
behind the school. Wait, that's not a puddle. That's that's
(28:50):
urine from the homeless people right there. And I can't
believe that. It's unbelievable. Dare you alright? So pressing on
here the the last hill that I have anyway? Is
this being again a Saturday Pod Life of Danny g
Life of Mallard? So I have a surprising update there.
A couple of days ago, I started doing something that
(29:13):
I had stopped doing because of COVID. I had not
done this at this location in over two years. What
do you think it is? And it's a Mallard riddle?
What do you think it is? And you listening can
play along as well. I haven't done Oh uh? You
fed the ducks? I wish I did. Here in the
(29:36):
north Woods, they don't allow you to fish to feed
the duck. Today, I think I'm gonna be a lawbreaker
and do it anyway. I think I might do that,
but but no, not feeling the uh it is. Say
hello to my little friend, a gentleman named Jim. I
returned to the gym, now my home gym. I have
been working at at home for a good amount of time,
(29:59):
but with all of the clutter, and even though I've
been in a new location for almost a year now.
It's still not completely done, and the home gym set
up I had hadn't been ready. I've been trying to
walk as much as I can around the streets and
the you know, the highways and all that around here
in the north Woods. So, uh, my wife, she's tired
(30:20):
of me complaining. I've been belly aching, bitching about the
lack of working out at a on a treadmill, which
I had, And so she decided randomly despoiled me and
get me a gym membership out of the blue, something
I would never do because my position, Danny was always
I don't need a gym membership. I have a I
have a tread anyway, So the gym's I didn't even
(30:40):
realize as they recently opened up in California again here
in l a or in the north Woods twenty four hours.
So I have returned to a place I never thought
I would go again. And I I had spent some
as I said, I spent a good amount of money
on this treadmill things. An industrial strength treadmill is gonna last,
(31:03):
supposedly for a long long time. And nope, bueno because
of the clutter. So I have returned to my nocturnal
workout regiment at a new gym. This is roughly the
fift gym that I have visited on a semi regular basis,
and the lesson I have learned the takeaway from this
(31:23):
Danny is that the same crowd is in every gym
I've gone to at the time I work out. It
doesn't matter where it is, that's the crowd. It's a
mix of the Jim Bros, the guys that were tank
tops that look at the mirror and flex and are
in love with themselves. There's a little bit of Jim Candy,
(31:46):
but not much. These are the women that go to
the gym all dulled up with the makeup and the
whole thing. I don't know. I think they're trying to
get the attention of everybody. Uh. There's the old guys
that can't sleep and just get there at the crack
of a dawn before the roosters, and they walk around
the locker room with their saggy balls dragging on the floor,
(32:07):
saggy balls and Harry everywhere like in hair is everything.
Unlike Louis the dog who's shedding, they don't shed it's
it's all there that's gross, old, wrinkled ball. And then
you've got like the few guys that you think are
are on some some kind of narcotics that have been
(32:28):
up all night. Then you've got the creepsters. Then you've
got the business people. They're starting to get there early
because they have a long drive and they're trying to
get there. So it's like the same people at every
every gym that I have paid a visit to. And
at first I was not excited about this, but it
did feel good. My legs are all messed up now
because I not really worked out that hard for a while.
(32:50):
So my wife was like, hey, why don't you go slow?
I didn't go slice. I went right back to where
I left off, not realizing that that's not a good idea.
Yeah really really, Yeah, you're supposed to ease yourself back
into it. Yeah, well, I wanted to go back to
your science thing here. So you're we gotta come up
(33:12):
with a nickname. Now you're not Bill Ny the science guy,
You're Danny G. We gotta come up with a nickname
for that. Let me send me a good nickname for
Danny G that we can We can call you, you know,
instead of doing the experiments that maybe take ten minutes,
like the elephant toothpaste. You could see that on YouTube.
I've been trying to do engineering stuff with audio waves,
(33:35):
which is why I did the speakers. Kind of been
going that angle with it. But yeah, I'm gonna have
to get creative here for the next five weeks. Yeah,
there's so many YouTubers that like the King of Random
stuff that's on YouTube. I think it's still on there.
Like that kind of stuff is awesome. I ordered all
these plastic tweezers off of Amazon, and I have a
(33:58):
bunch of dirty coins and then I have like six
different solutions in uh small Dixie cups for all the kids.
They're gonna guess which thing they dip it in will
clean the coin the best. Oh that's good. Yeah, that's
kind of cool. Uh are you gonna are you gonna
get like the big like half dollar dollar coin, like, yeah,
(34:19):
that's cool. And now, when we were shopping for materials,
the tinderoni grab some fabuloso that cleaning solution. Oh yeah,
that's supposed to be really good. Yeah, but I told her,
I said, I don't think the parents would appreciate their
kids sucking in the fumes cleaner. Yeah yeah, probably not
(34:39):
a not a great idea. Probably. Yeah. I had to
go with the vinegar. I think it's vinegar and salt,
catch up some sort of acidy orange juice or juice.
One thing they say that clean's coins is really good
taco bell sauce. Oh is that right? Yeah, So you
take some Cobell sauce. It will shine a coin up
(35:01):
right away. You should do some stuff with vinegar, because
the uses of vinegars fascinated to me. You can clean
stuff with it, you can you can kill weeds with it. Uh.
And I also saw because my wife, you know, she
loves flowers and stuff, and she likes to pick flowers
and put them around the house or whatever. But I
always hate that because they die right away. But there's
(35:25):
a mix, you want to do this, It would be
a good bit. I don't know if the kids be
that interesting because it's flowers. But you get flowers and
you try different things to keep the flowers alive. Because
supposely there's a mix of vinegar, sugar, Yeah, yeah, like
and one other thing and you mix it. I like that.
I remember that. I remember science class as a kid,
where we put different types of water mixtures into different
(35:49):
plants to see which plant would grow the fastest. I
do remember that, and you can like leave that around
the room and say you mark down what each one
is and see which one dies the quickest and which
one lives the long. No, that's a great I'm gonna
do that. That's a great, great suggestion. And if any
of our podcast listeners have any good science projects or experiments,
(36:12):
send them to me at Danny G Radio. Now I'm
working with about forty five minutes per class, and that's
on Twitter. Twitter. Have the same kids for the whole week,
and then the next week they rotate different kids in Okay,
all right, I got you. So you could could conceivably
repeat some stuff, but you should do do the sandwich.
(36:34):
Do the science version of the compliments. Saw you know
what that is. You know, like we all know the
compliments sandwich. When you go into a meeting with your
boss and they start out with the negative, they started
with a positive negative positive. Yeah, they sneak the sneak
the negative in the middle. Yeah, but the whole reason
for the meeting is the negative. Yeah, for sure, that's
(36:55):
the reason for me. But they always start out with it. Really,
you're doing a great job. We love you. And the
bread that's top piece of the bread. You're a complete
asshole and schmuck everyone here bologny, that's the blowney in
the middle. And then keep up the great work. We really,
we really appreciate your hard work. That's the bottom place.
So the science compliment would be sandwich you. You start
out with a great project, which you already did. Yeah,
(37:17):
then you do a bunch of shitty ones, and then
before the kids are done, boom another good one. Right,
Like I like your strategy. Yeah. So it's also just
human nature even when you're you know, we're all wired
the same way. You remember the last thing, right, so
they'll remember the really cool thing at the end. They'll
they'll block out the stuff that wasn't Now. I gotta
I gotta admit something to you, Ben, And I'm not
(37:40):
gonna say the name of the school, so it's not
gonna reflect poorly on them. And who knows if these
are regular students of that school. So there's probably ten
kids that are just can I say that? I don't
think you could say that word about a little slow
about are about meal? About that there is about ten
(38:05):
kids out of the sixty. Don't know how they made
it to the fourth grade. I did a graph when
we were doing the bridge building, and so you know,
you you measure out, you make the design for the
two sides of your bridge, and then you measure out
the dry pasta and you break the pieces and and
then you know, you put them all in piles, and
(38:26):
you got two sides to the bridge. Well, at the
bottom you do a graph. So I drew that up
on the board and I showed the kids, and I
was speaking very slow and clearly. Look it. It's just squares.
It's just lines down, lines across, really simple, and I
should you not probably ten to fifteen kids. First of all,
(38:51):
they looked like circles, and the ship was tiny. There's
no way you could put dry pasta on. I saved
it and I showed it to my ten to RONI.
She was dying laughing because it looks like something a
preschooler drew. And this is coming from kids that are
going into the fourth grade. So remember not all of
the kids are with it, so you've got to keep
(39:13):
that in mind. So my joke to the tender Roni
was that next week, I'm gonna spend two days having
them cut out shapes, go back to kindergarten. We're gonna
go out, I said, we're gonna cut out different planets.
That will take two days. Well, it's it's good and
they will continue that likely those kids for the rest
of their lives and be sloppy. And that's it all right.
(39:35):
We we have a little time left. Andy. Let's get
to the backscratcher. And this is where we beg for
people to like this podcast on the podcast page on Apple.
That helps us out a lot. We gotta get those
numbers up, keep those numbers coming. It does help us out.
Tell a friend, Tell a friend, tell a friend. And
this is where you scratch our back. We scratch your back.
(39:57):
And so this week, how many how many reviews Danny
did we get on the Apple podcast page? The answer
is two. That's right, we got you got it right.
So here the two reviews. We thank you, Blind Jake.
(40:18):
Blind Jake in Minnesota, he wrote in says five stars
the best companion podcast. Blind Jake writes have listened through
three Guide Dog lies. Wow, that's cool. I really enjoyed
the fifth hour from the beginning. But Danny g has
brought it up to a much higher standard. He says,
(40:40):
Gagan was present and posted the shows. But it is
extremely obvious Danny G cares. You see you care, Danny.
This is a passion for you. Man. I I spend
more time producing this podcast than I do making lesson plans.
God love you. And yeah, he says, here, blind Jake,
the blind listeners get it. See the blind Listener is
(41:02):
a better consumer talk Hawk radio program. This is everything
for them. They pay attention to the fine details. Yeah,
and he says, you're blind Jake and his three guide
dogs that he's been through that you can tell. Danny
G spends considerable time editing and producing a high quality program.
Keep it going. And he says, Ben, you need to
(41:23):
visit Minnesota. Now. If I visit Minnesota, blind Jake, you
gotta show up, man, you gotta find a way to
get there. I'd love to meet you. I was right
next to Minnesota and Wisconsin. I know it's a long
drive from Minneapolis St. Paul, where most of most of
our guys live in the metropolitan area there. But I
was blown away because I had so many people from
Minnesota say, Oh, if you come close, I'm gonna be there,
(41:45):
and then I did not realize the depths of the
hatred between Minnesota and Wisconsin, where crossing over state lines
is like there's a point of demarcation, nanny where I
think if you're in minute Anesota and you go to Wisconsin,
you get kicked out of Minnesota or something like that.
But but anyway, blind Jake, I would love to meet
(42:07):
you and come to Minnesota, and I have talked next
time I visit my brother, I don't know, maybe it's
a year or two years from now, I'll go back
to Wisconsin. Instead of flying in Chicago and driving, I'll
do the longer trip. I'll go in to Minnesota and
make the make the drive. At least that's my plan
at this point. He says, you have a huge following.
(42:28):
You need to get an authentic, juicy lucy. Yes I do.
He says they are over a dozen raising knes and
so somebody call uh. He says, you can go around,
round out your round out your menu. He says, uh,
I think it's a word missing. But yeah, listen, I
love raising kings. When I travel, I like to eat
(42:49):
the local food. I can eat raising cans here and
I love raising Kings it's great meal, but I enjoy
I want to eat juicy loose. I go to Minnesota,
I gotta eat the locals up, but not some of
that weird fish you guys in Minnesota. I don't want
to do that. I'm good on that. There's some weird
old traditions in Minnesota'm like, I don't need that. But
juicy Lucy, that's a good bir got the cheese in
(43:10):
the middle not kosher though. All right, Uh, this is
Robert twelve, writes in Danny last one on the Backscratcher
says fifth our great podcast, Big Ben Radio legend. Wow.
Well that this is Robin Biggs Marconi deserving good job
by you, Rob, huge upgrade, he says, adding Danny g
keep the great episodes Rolling Boys as Robin vague. All right, well,
(43:32):
thank you, Rob, Rob's a brigadier general. Thank you for
those Yeah, thank you for those reviews. And you know,
blind Jake, He's right, Ben, it is a good companion
podcast because I actually go back and listen to the
finished production to make sure everything is running smooth with
ad placements and just everything overall. And I'll be checking
(43:54):
things out from my drive where I'm at to the
studios in Sherman Oaks. And seriously, when I'm double checking
our podcast, the drive goes like that. But what I
don't have a podcast on, it seems like I'm in
traffic forever. So one crazy phenomenon with podcasts, I think,
(44:15):
is that they get you through traffic so much better
than other forms of entertainment. Yeah, I agree, And I'm
a big treadmill guy. That's my thing, you know. I'm
a Mr Benny the treadmill And I agree. When you're
on a treadmill, you're listening to something and you really
locked into it. It's it does help pass the time.
It's just like boom, You're done. That's it. You're get
(44:36):
in this trance like state. So anyway, we gotta get
out of here. Anything to promote Danny. I know you're
busy at the Mothership today, as you said, you get
the science class and all that. I gotta catch up
on some sleep, but I'll do it when I die.
Because there's short a couple of people at the network,
so they have me on from four pm to midnight.
That's terrible. Yeah, four pm to midnight today, It's gonna
(44:59):
be a long shift. But I got my drugs and
I'm ready to go, so pretty much the entire Saturday
programming lineup in the evening on the West Coast. It's
going to be a marathon. Wow. Alright, good luck with
that hydrate, drink a lot of water, pace yourself and
if you have a chance, you can maybe take some
(45:19):
of Louise's hair that's in the studio. And I'm about
bring a roller you gotta get out of You have
a great rest of your day. We get the mail
bag on Sunday and we'll talk to you then. Yeah,
see you tomorrow. Affliction
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of hot
takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
(00:23):
Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and
welcome into the podcast, O Joe for yet another thrilling,
riveting Additionally, Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio.
(00:46):
All these a lot of drama. See I had the
wrong buttoner, But but anyway, here we are amazingly for
another Saturday, Life of Mallard, Life of Day any g
podcast A ton of stuff to get to. I hope
you enjoyed the conversation with Serge from yesterday's podcast. I
(01:10):
was so happy to track him down and he told
some stories. I I had worked with Serge a little
bit in the early days of Fox Sports Radio, but
he was telling me things I had no idea about
how he had gotten into the business and some of
the things he had accomplished, and how down on his
luck he was being homeless in Manhattan's Wild Stories that
(01:33):
he told. So if you miss that, go back and
check it out the Friday podcast. But Danny g we
have to keep marching forward, right, That's how that works. Yes, Well,
you know what was really cool about listening to that
Serge interview yesterday. He came up randomly in conversation when
we were doing the mail bag and we answered a
(01:53):
question about going on a cruise and yes, yeah, we
were like, we should get him on the podcast them
bam bang. So that that's cool. I like it when
things come up like that spontaneously. Yeah, I I I
was wondering his name, as you said. We came up
and he had told me stories about working on cruise
(02:15):
ships and what that was like like living on a
cruise ship traveling around the Atlantic Ocean, and it was
very interesting to me at the time. I was like, Wow,
I've never been on a cruise ship. I still have.
The only ship I've ever really been on is the
Queen Mary, which doesn't leave a long beach. And and
so you're telling me what it was like and you know,
living there and eating all the food, and the other
(02:37):
celebrities that would come and go off the boat. So
it was interesting and and I had no idea as
as I said, some of the other stuff that he
had done, but it was cool and hopefully we'll have
him on again at some point. So on the big
podcast today, the one you're listening to right now, which
is the most important podcast because that's the one you're
(02:57):
listening to, and so that means it's the most important
because it's the one you've got right now. So we
have your Chariot awaits empty bottle, horse meat, say Hello
to my little Friend, and another riveting back scratcher, among
other things. I don't know what else is gonna pop up,
(03:18):
but we begin with this. So what a night it
was on our Friday overnight show, the Ben Maller Show Friday,
which is Thursday and the Friday. Some people consider it
completely Friday. Other people say it's still Thursday night because
you haven't been to bed yet. I think of it
more as Thursday night. But nonetheless, it's the Friday shows
(03:41):
the last year of the week. So if you were
listening live and in stereo, you heard it all play
out on the air, as helmet Man would say, the
live air, as he used to say, And one of
the more enjoyable shows. I'm gonna say right now, I'm
going on the record, I'm not gonna pull any punches here.
That was my favorite show of the year. It was awesome.
(04:06):
What happened, I'm gonna tell you so, I if you're
listening here, I hope you enjoyed the Shenanis And that
was the two NBA Draft night. But that is not
why this was a special night. As you know, Danny,
I am luke warm when it comes to the NBA
(04:27):
JF This used to be one of my favorite things,
the NBA Draft, but I don't really get all that
worked up for the NBA Draft anymore. Uh, it's way
down on my list of things that are cool. So
that's kind of lackluster, exactly exactly. And the Clippers had
like a second round pick, a drafted some guy who's
gonna be stashed in a G League team somewhere for
(04:49):
five years, so who care? So Uh. The the show
that we did, though, and you know, it's up to
you something it was it was to me more enjoyable,
but you've a listener after the side. We had more
Razmatans on that show. We had more Razmatazz on our
show than the NBA did our one. Danny featured a
(05:13):
trip to the octagon, the verbal octagon, Justin and Cincinnati
versus blind Scott from Boston, and it was like razor
wire and highro technics and it's crazy. Maybe these guys
have been listening for a long time so they kind
of get the show and all that, and uh, it
(05:35):
was cool. I Justin came out very methodical, meticulous, disciplined,
and then blind Scott, because he's blind, Scott just came
out loose, cannon, scatter, shot, helter skelter, and Scott's phone
crap the bed. In round number one, it was all
(05:56):
all messed up. He actually sent me an email he
said he got a phone call about some Wall Street thing.
Next when you're when you're blind, obviously you talks to
you and so anyway, his phone cut out. So the
first round was a disaster, and and then in in
round number two, both of them Danny got dumped, both
(06:17):
got dump which was a problem. Now we let it
continue because Justin had a borderline dump. He made an
abortion joke which very controversial and well, you'd have to
talk to Cooper Loop and Roberto, who immediately hit the
button and ejacked, ejacked, ejacked, So that happened. I yeah,
(06:48):
you know, I would have let it go because we're
in the overnights. And but then part of me was like, oh,
that's a good call because the one thing we don't
want on a Friday show is a call from the boss. Yeah,
you know how that good point. I guess when it's
like on the borderline like that, it's better safe to
be sorry it's on the periphery. Is somebody really gonna
(07:10):
get that worked up at two three in the morning
because of that? And get ah, yeah, I gotta I
gotta get a pound of flesh now because somebody justin
and Cincinnati made a joke. So then we went to
Scott and blind. Scott then talked about um, actually he
said sexual acts with a goat. Uh, that's what he
(07:33):
did there, And so we had to dump that for
obvious reasons, and uh dumped. Yeah, that's definitely that, that's
a dump. That's definitely a dump. Uh. He was not
talking about Tom Brady, by the way, he was talking
about actual, actual goats. And so then we went to
the final round. We thought, why not, it's a mad house,
let's keep going. We went to the final round and
(07:55):
blind Scott, this is where it really took next level.
So on one, Scott's phone died. Round two, he made
a comment a joke, we had a dump. Round three,
blind Scott turns into a one man band, Like, just imagine,
if you will, Danny, You're like Vegas, Fremont Street in Vegas,
Venice Beach, the Atlantic City Boardwalk, South Beach in Miami,
(08:21):
New Orleans. Yeah, what did I what did it sound like?
I love you? Oh no, I don't do that. Don't
You're gonna give me a PTSD. Benny and the weed Man,
Benny and the weed Man. Uh So, anyway, so blind Scott,
just imagine we're doing the final round. They're both on
the air at the same time. It's a steelcage deathmatch,
(08:43):
and he starts doing this one man band thing. He's
like playing music like he's it sounds like he's got
some instruments and he's like, simultaneously in my head, he's
using his hands, his feet, his all of his limbs,
and he's got all these contractions contraction, it's not contract contraptions,
and and it was it was really I was like
(09:04):
genuinely defying It was so stupid and it was funny
and it was completely off the track. Even Eddie got
dumped Facebook dot Com, slash podcast make that boy, Well,
this was also a borderline dumb I want to get
your pig? Did he say Fox Sports Radio? Yes? Yes,
(09:25):
and he named all of our bosses went one by one. No, No,
Eddie was dump because he used and I can't even
say it because I'm told we'll get in trouble. He
used a trademarked phrase from a very litigious boxing announcer,
A ring announcer. Yeah, I got a cease and desist
(09:46):
from that guy when I was broadcasting in Santa Barbara. Yeah,
the guy's uh. I don't know how many lawyers he has,
but they are non stop going with a you know,
it's the actually we say the the rumble in the uh?
Can we say it on the podcast? No, I don't
think damn it. I don't like so how about we
can rhyme it though? Well, yeah, that's actually what I said.
(10:09):
Let's get ready to go in the jungle or something
like that. What else rhymes with that? What do this?
What get fetti to bumble? There you go? You can
do that, bom done anyway, So Coop freaked out when
I Eddie had said that, And then I'm looking at
the red I have this button like a game show
button in the studio and when something gets dumped, it
(10:31):
lights up. So this thing lit up, and I was like,
what did what got dumped? This Eddie got what do
you say? I didn't realize it, and then like like
ynt it? So now that's like instead of seven deadly words,
it's it's add that phrase to the to the deadly word.
It was all in fun. But that was just the appetizer.
(10:52):
That was just the appetizer on the Friday show to
the main event and in the third hour. So this happened,
This octagon happened in the first stour in the third
hour of the radio programs. There was Cooper opened up
all the blinds so we could look out onto Ventura Boulevard.
(11:14):
Paul Butter right there at the corner, and Danny I
saw something that was the most beautiful thing I had
seen in a long time as far as a non
human being. Our chariot, how do arrive? That's right right,
p one moving man. Matt made the pilgrimage all the
(11:40):
way from Boston to the mecca of Fox Sports Radio,
and there it was the rig from the gods. And
now I had hung out with Matt. I've met Matt
over the years a couple of times in the Commonwealth.
We had Mallard meet and greets in Boston, and I
even hung out with him Vic briefly at a truck
(12:01):
stop in the Inland Empire, Ontario in so Cal, but
never at the studio till this week. Um Maddie was here.
He was doing some business in San Diego and Orange
County Camp Pendleton, some military families moving their stuff back
to the Northeast, and he came by and for those
that maybe missed the show and don't know, Matt has
(12:23):
the only verified mobile billboard for a sports radio show
in the world. I mean, right there on the side
of his trailer, on the back of his rig is
the name of our radio show, my show. It's it's
all outstanding, Yeah, I mean, he spent a lot of
money on that. That stuff is not cheap at all,
(12:45):
and and he's he's going for it. And so it's
the greatest guerrilla marketing you could possibly want, because it's
not just like a billboard sits there and people see
the billboard whatever they drive by. But this thing wowsers.
It's all over the country, Dad is. He goes to
(13:06):
all forty eight continental United's, you know, every state in
the continental United States he visits, and it's it's really
one of the coolest things that's ever happened by any
fan of the show. Certainly it's better. I've been a
radio twenty plus year, and I can't believe it's been
that long. But by far, this is the coolest advertising
and really the only advertising I've ever had. Uh. You know,
(13:29):
all there's some shirts I I had made or listeners
made for the show, but but you know, Maco is
all over the place. He's a long haul mover and
he's on the road. He told us three hundred days
a year. And he said, business is really good right
now for a guy like that, because there's that mass
exodus Danny from California where people are leaving California still
(13:50):
and heading back to the eastern part of the United States,
and so, uh, it's really it's really good for him.
And he's making bank and I'm a guy works his
ass off working much and so it's really cool. We've
all heard the stories about how much a U haul
truck is from California to Arizona or Texas. They are
(14:10):
jacking those prices up the past couple of years. Yeah,
it's it's not It's not a pleasant situation on your
pocketbook at all. And as an added bonus, but wait,
there's more, dame. As an added bonus, moving man Matt
brought his travel buddy Louis Louis. Hey, Louie Louis is
(14:31):
an insanely cute French bulldog rff. Oh nice. Yeah, and
it was great our canine friend. We brought him into
the broadcast O Joe and it was going really well.
Louis was well behaved. But there was one thing that
went bad. Uh, you want to take a guess what happened?
What Louis did? He whizzed on Coope's foot. Well, that
(14:56):
that would have been That would have been great, That
would have been wonderful, RADI. It did not do that, alright, Yes,
number two here we yes, number two. Uh, he left
a doggy land mine on the carpet. Doggy land mine
on the carpet. Hey, fine, guess you would think that
possible Louis might have done that. No, it turns out
(15:18):
that Louis decided he wanted to leave some of Louis behind,
but not number one or number two. What did Louis do?
He was shedding. Yeah, so the floor of the studio. Like,
I put Louis on my lap. The guy I love dogs,
and Louis was a really cool, cool dog and I
(15:39):
was pett and Louis the doggie and I my lap
is covered in fur, you know that hair? And then
we put Louie down and uh yeah, it was his
hair in the air everywhere. And so and then we
did the segment. We had mad in for a segment
so we could chat with him. Why not at least
(15:59):
like could do the guy put the name on on
the bus of the program. And so did you post
a picture of the truck? Yeah, yeah, yeah yesterday on Friday. Uh,
if you if you go to the Instagram page or
the Facebook pitch Ben Mather Show on Facebook and Ben
Maller on Fox on Instagram, you can check out the
(16:21):
photos of that. It's pretty it's pretty cool. So, uh,
not only did Louie leave hair everywhere, uh, he attempted
to either eat or lick the microphone, which as you know,
as you know Danny from working a fox really would
not be the first or last gas bag to take
(16:43):
a bite out of a thousand plus dollar microphone. But
it was a wonderful night and Matt had he didn't
even stay at the end of the show. He had
head out to a truck stop. He was dead tired,
and a big tip of the camp I really I
wanna thank Louis. I want to thank moving man Matt,
and a big salut, a tip of the microphone to
all the hard working truck drivers, eighteen wheelers, guys with
(17:05):
those big rigs highways and byways all over America and beyond.
And that is really the backbone. If you do an
overnight radio show, who's listening, who's doing it live? A
lot of people on the podcast have normal jobs, but
the overnight it's a lot of truck drivers, security guards,
(17:25):
factory workers, people working for ups. So the post office bartenders,
short order cooks, dudes making donuts, the paper, more security
guards and drivers. Yeah, like all of that. So police criminals,
we got both sides, good and bad. Uh. Drug addicts, insomniacs,
(17:48):
those are those are my people. And I had a
fun time. That was a good night or radio that's
a good night. That makes up for the nights you
go in there and you're like, oh my god, what
am I it doing here? Which doesn't happen very awful everyone.
So we all have those days, no matter what your
job is, we all have those days. Right, You're like,
oh my god, that's a nice bonus for when you're
(18:09):
there in person. What what do you referring? What are
you referring? Well, I came in because of Matt h
and also being mandated by manager. So turning the page
on that, we have a Maller health update, a Mallard
health update. So last week we talked about some of
my dental issues Danny and my wife informed me. She
(18:33):
said she licks some stuff up on the internet that
if I had not gotten my messed up tooth, my
wisdom tooth taken care of that, it could have been
lights out. The infection was all over my face. It
was kind of spreading around my jaw. You could go
to your brain. I don't know, that's what she said.
(18:56):
She said she read some stuff on the internet and
people have died with this, So what is that even?
How's that passib But anyway, so it's something that has
actually k ode people. Lights out. That's it. Yeah. And
so I did have the dental surgery, and I've been
on all kinds of meds. Here only took I'm happy
(19:16):
to report I only took pain meds for two and
a half days after the operation. So I was worried
I was gonna get addicted, and so I decided to
I decided to use some decorum, some discretion and determination
and Grin and Barrett, just say no to the pills.
You're gonna stick to the weed, smoke weed. Yeah, I
(19:40):
don't need the pills. And so I was asked by
a listener on the mail I'll get to it. And
I forget who I should have put in the mail bag.
But it was like, was this worse than the gall bladder? No? No,
the gall bladder was I think that was was Mike
and something. But the gall bladder is worse, much worse.
The worst pain I've ever had in my life is
(20:02):
a gall blood. I thought I was going to visit
the Pearly Gates that night. That day, my uh, the
system stopped working there. That was That was it. But
is it true that the pill bottle is empty? Yes,
it is, damn not the painkillers, As I said, my
antibiotics have run their course. I was on ten days
(20:25):
every eight hours. I had to take these pills and
uh knocking all the gunk and the mold and the
slime and all that crap from the infection out of
my jaw and all that. So I am happy to reporter.
I'm not on any prescribed medications for any of the
illness or anything like that. One thing that I do
not want to have ever is on my plate horse meat.
(20:47):
That is not something I want. Danny is horse me chicken,
a burger, yes, but I don't want to have like
Secretariat on my plate. If you know what You know
what I'm saying. Well, I'm gonna get caught up on Twitter,
hopefully a TV show that I've been watching that I
haven't seen in a few weeks today on Saturday, after
I get done at the network, because all week long
(21:10):
it was a super busy week. It was my first
week teaching science for your people, Ben, you you could
appreciate this. It is a private Jewish school that I'm at. Yeah,
and you're a good mention. There's a mix of all
kids there, but obviously some of the regular students from
that school are there. Before you get carried. I gotta
(21:33):
tell you, Dannyl on the East Coast, like my my
brothers in Manhattan, like all the Jewish kids on the
East Coast go to summer camp, like that's the thing.
But I don't think that's really a deal. Out here
in California, right on the West coast, it's like a
Northeastern It's actually an art slash science camp. And I
am teaching science four classes in one day. So they
(21:56):
break it up and they have them out there doing
talent show stuff and throwing water balloons that's a classic.
They're dancing, they're singing. It's a pretty cool setup. But
for me, it's just been NonStop because they expect a
science project every day of the week and I have
(22:16):
sixty total kids. How many weeks is this? Is it
just this week or is it every you know? How
how long is the class after this week? Five more
weeks of this? Five more weeks where I am gonna
be dead? Wait? Wait? And you have every day you
have to come up with something new? Is every yep?
Every day a new lesson? Yeah? So what I did, though, well,
(22:40):
I got strategic and I stretched out a couple of
projects and I gave them two days for one of them,
three days for the other. So instead of doing one
new one every day, I was like, I told the
director of the program, I said, I didn't have enough
class time, so I had to stretch it into the
next day. And she's like, okay, that's fine. So they're
(23:03):
not sweating me, thank god. So next week, Ben, I
think I'm gonna do two days of finger painting, three
days of cutting out shapes. I have to find some
easier projects because I did these really cool cell phone speakers,
like a do it yourself project, and then I did
(23:23):
spaghetti bridges, a really cool engineering project. Dead tired because
I brought all the work home with me. But the
very first day, my first class comes in at nine am.
There's twenty kids in the first class and they're all
staring at me at the front of the classroom. So
I told him, all right, we'll go around the classroom.
(23:45):
You know that old deal. A lot of teachers do
that on the first day. Yeah, I'm like, I need
to know your names, tell me your favorite animal and
your favorite food. So now they're excited. They want to
tell us, they want to share this the class. So
of course there's a bunch of high maintenance kids, and
they're saying their favorite food is sushi. How all these
(24:07):
kids second to fifth grade, that's third and fourth grade
are eating sushi. A lot of kids in California. Man,
I've never had I've never had sushi, you know, Man,
I've never had sushi. I've never had coffee, I swear
to guy. Probably half the class said sushi. One kid though,
(24:31):
beating burgers and chicken fingers just like I'm eating. I'm
still eating that as a middle aged I mean. There
was some classics thrown in there. There was a couple
of pizzas, there was some pasta. Tacos. Tacos are gray.
Who doesn't love taco I think two kids said tacos.
Did anyone did any say get filter fish? Because if
they kicked them out of class immediately they say get
(24:52):
filth fan. So I get to Amber. She's in the
last row and she says, Hi, my name is her,
and my favorite thing to eat it's a horse. What
And she stopped, kind of realized what she said, and
(25:14):
the class just burst into laughter. She went in the
wrong runner. She meant to say her favorite animal. Uh,
she got carried away there. Yeah, what is she in
the goolag. If you'd like to eat horse meat, we
can send you to Russia and the Little China or
(25:35):
something like that where they eat horse. It is not
the horse thing, because I know I've talked about in
the past. I don't know if it's here somewhere else,
but like who it's always fascinated to me, like early
on when they decided to eat animals, like who made
the choice of the cow? And I did read somewhere
that the reason they didn't eat horses was not because
(25:56):
horses you couldn't eat horses, but it was because the
horse was so useful, because you needed the horse to
you know, move stuff around and to take you place,
as it was an automo beu. It was the old thing. Yeah,
otherwise people would just regularly beating horse, but it was
such a useful animal. They didn't do it the cows
like sits around and farts all the time. So that's
(26:19):
very cute to that girl though, That's hilarious. Yeah, it
was really funny. For the rest of the week, two
kids were reminding her of it there, like did you
have horse last night for dinner? Great? As you give
me pick it reminds me of that great Dennis Larry
stand up to where he talked about why do we
(26:39):
protect some animals but other ones we eat them? You know? Um,
Like he said, we throw out nets trying to catch
fish because we love to eat fish. Like we don't
give a shit about the fish or the tuna. But
if we accidentally catch a dolphin, everybody freaks out. It
is amazing. Like I've I've am and you ever swam
(27:01):
in like a school of fish, like I've done that
a few times, like sardines, surrounded by these little small
fish and it's one of the coolest things. I've done
it a few times, and it's amazing to me because
the fish have that sonar where even though you're surrounded
by a thousands of fish, you put your arm out,
(27:22):
you never actually hit one. Yeah, it's wild to me.
But yet they get caught all the time, don't they
get caught? I mean it's fascinating to me because because
of that. And then the other thing which is really
cool is in Catalina Island. You ever go to Catalina
off the coast, I don't know we brought this up
or not. Oh yeah, you gotta go, and there's a
(27:45):
there's a little trick you can do where you take
like ice. You know, you go to the frozen section
of the grocery store and you have like peas and stuff, Yeah,
frozen peas, and you take those and you you feed
the fish and they'll jump the there's so many fish
they will jump out of the water and like bite
your hand to get the frozen piece. Oh, that's crazy.
(28:08):
It is wild. It's like being in a reality a
fishing show or something like that where the fish attack
and it's like that. The missing I think is the
parts of the Mississippi River in Illinois. I believe it
is where they have the flying carp and all that.
That's uh, that's pretty cool. You just gave me a
great idea for a lesson plan. Get frozen peas. I'll
(28:29):
bring the kids out and we'll throw peas and I'll
tell them we're looking for fish. There. You go, no, no, well, there,
there's a ton of fish. I don't know us in
Fernando Valley or wherever you're at teaching, I don't know
about that. Are there any fish any an? They're like,
that's a muddy puddle. I don't think there's any fish
behind the school. Wait, that's not a puddle. That's that's
(28:50):
urine from the homeless people right there. And I can't
believe that. It's unbelievable. Dare you alright? So pressing on
here the the last hill that I have anyway? Is
this being again a Saturday Pod Life of Danny g
Life of Mallard? So I have a surprising update there.
A couple of days ago, I started doing something that
(29:13):
I had stopped doing because of COVID. I had not
done this at this location in over two years. What
do you think it is? And it's a Mallard riddle?
What do you think it is? And you listening can
play along as well. I haven't done Oh uh? You
fed the ducks? I wish I did. Here in the
(29:36):
north Woods, they don't allow you to fish to feed
the duck. Today, I think I'm gonna be a lawbreaker
and do it anyway. I think I might do that,
but but no, not feeling the uh it is. Say
hello to my little friend, a gentleman named Jim. I
returned to the gym, now my home gym. I have
been working at at home for a good amount of time,
(29:59):
but with all of the clutter, and even though I've
been in a new location for almost a year now.
It's still not completely done, and the home gym set
up I had hadn't been ready. I've been trying to
walk as much as I can around the streets and
the you know, the highways and all that around here
in the north Woods. So, uh, my wife, she's tired
(30:20):
of me complaining. I've been belly aching, bitching about the
lack of working out at a on a treadmill, which
I had, And so she decided randomly despoiled me and
get me a gym membership out of the blue, something
I would never do because my position, Danny was always
I don't need a gym membership. I have a I
have a tread anyway, So the gym's I didn't even
(30:40):
realize as they recently opened up in California again here
in l a or in the north Woods twenty four hours.
So I have returned to a place I never thought
I would go again. And I I had spent some
as I said, I spent a good amount of money
on this treadmill things. An industrial strength treadmill is gonna last,
(31:03):
supposedly for a long long time. And nope, bueno because
of the clutter. So I have returned to my nocturnal
workout regiment at a new gym. This is roughly the
fift gym that I have visited on a semi regular basis,
and the lesson I have learned the takeaway from this
(31:23):
Danny is that the same crowd is in every gym
I've gone to at the time I work out. It
doesn't matter where it is, that's the crowd. It's a
mix of the Jim Bros, the guys that were tank
tops that look at the mirror and flex and are
in love with themselves. There's a little bit of Jim Candy,
(31:46):
but not much. These are the women that go to
the gym all dulled up with the makeup and the
whole thing. I don't know. I think they're trying to
get the attention of everybody. Uh. There's the old guys
that can't sleep and just get there at the crack
of a dawn before the roosters, and they walk around
the locker room with their saggy balls dragging on the floor,
(32:07):
saggy balls and Harry everywhere like in hair is everything.
Unlike Louis the dog who's shedding, they don't shed it's
it's all there that's gross, old, wrinkled ball. And then
you've got like the few guys that you think are
are on some some kind of narcotics that have been
(32:28):
up all night. Then you've got the creepsters. Then you've
got the business people. They're starting to get there early
because they have a long drive and they're trying to
get there. So it's like the same people at every
every gym that I have paid a visit to. And
at first I was not excited about this, but it
did feel good. My legs are all messed up now
because I not really worked out that hard for a while.
(32:50):
So my wife was like, hey, why don't you go slow?
I didn't go slice. I went right back to where
I left off, not realizing that that's not a good idea.
Yeah really really, Yeah, you're supposed to ease yourself back
into it. Yeah, well, I wanted to go back to
your science thing here. So you're we gotta come up
(33:12):
with a nickname. Now you're not Bill Ny the science guy,
You're Danny G. We gotta come up with a nickname
for that. Let me send me a good nickname for
Danny G that we can We can call you, you know,
instead of doing the experiments that maybe take ten minutes,
like the elephant toothpaste. You could see that on YouTube.
I've been trying to do engineering stuff with audio waves,
(33:35):
which is why I did the speakers. Kind of been
going that angle with it. But yeah, I'm gonna have
to get creative here for the next five weeks. Yeah,
there's so many YouTubers that like the King of Random
stuff that's on YouTube. I think it's still on there.
Like that kind of stuff is awesome. I ordered all
these plastic tweezers off of Amazon, and I have a
(33:58):
bunch of dirty coins and then I have like six
different solutions in uh small Dixie cups for all the kids.
They're gonna guess which thing they dip it in will
clean the coin the best. Oh that's good. Yeah, that's
kind of cool. Uh are you gonna are you gonna
get like the big like half dollar dollar coin, like, yeah,
(34:19):
that's cool. And now, when we were shopping for materials,
the tinderoni grab some fabuloso that cleaning solution. Oh yeah,
that's supposed to be really good. Yeah, but I told her,
I said, I don't think the parents would appreciate their
kids sucking in the fumes cleaner. Yeah yeah, probably not
(34:39):
a not a great idea. Probably. Yeah. I had to
go with the vinegar. I think it's vinegar and salt,
catch up some sort of acidy orange juice or juice.
One thing they say that clean's coins is really good
taco bell sauce. Oh is that right? Yeah, So you
take some Cobell sauce. It will shine a coin up
(35:01):
right away. You should do some stuff with vinegar, because
the uses of vinegars fascinated to me. You can clean
stuff with it, you can you can kill weeds with it. Uh.
And I also saw because my wife, you know, she
loves flowers and stuff, and she likes to pick flowers
and put them around the house or whatever. But I
always hate that because they die right away. But there's
(35:25):
a mix, you want to do this, It would be
a good bit. I don't know if the kids be
that interesting because it's flowers. But you get flowers and
you try different things to keep the flowers alive. Because
supposely there's a mix of vinegar, sugar, Yeah, yeah, like
and one other thing and you mix it. I like that.
I remember that. I remember science class as a kid,
where we put different types of water mixtures into different
(35:49):
plants to see which plant would grow the fastest. I
do remember that, and you can like leave that around
the room and say you mark down what each one
is and see which one dies the quickest and which
one lives the long. No, that's a great I'm gonna
do that. That's a great, great suggestion. And if any
of our podcast listeners have any good science projects or experiments,
(36:12):
send them to me at Danny G Radio. Now I'm
working with about forty five minutes per class, and that's
on Twitter. Twitter. Have the same kids for the whole week,
and then the next week they rotate different kids in Okay,
all right, I got you. So you could could conceivably
repeat some stuff, but you should do do the sandwich.
(36:34):
Do the science version of the compliments. Saw you know
what that is. You know, like we all know the
compliments sandwich. When you go into a meeting with your
boss and they start out with the negative, they started
with a positive negative positive. Yeah, they sneak the sneak
the negative in the middle. Yeah, but the whole reason
for the meeting is the negative. Yeah, for sure, that's
(36:55):
the reason for me. But they always start out with it. Really,
you're doing a great job. We love you. And the
bread that's top piece of the bread. You're a complete
asshole and schmuck everyone here bologny, that's the blowney in
the middle. And then keep up the great work. We really,
we really appreciate your hard work. That's the bottom place.
So the science compliment would be sandwich you. You start
out with a great project, which you already did. Yeah,
(37:17):
then you do a bunch of shitty ones, and then
before the kids are done, boom another good one. Right,
Like I like your strategy. Yeah. So it's also just
human nature even when you're you know, we're all wired
the same way. You remember the last thing, right, so
they'll remember the really cool thing at the end. They'll
they'll block out the stuff that wasn't Now. I gotta
I gotta admit something to you, Ben, And I'm not
(37:40):
gonna say the name of the school, so it's not
gonna reflect poorly on them. And who knows if these
are regular students of that school. So there's probably ten
kids that are just can I say that? I don't
think you could say that word about a little slow
about are about meal? About that there is about ten
(38:05):
kids out of the sixty. Don't know how they made
it to the fourth grade. I did a graph when
we were doing the bridge building, and so you know,
you you measure out, you make the design for the
two sides of your bridge, and then you measure out
the dry pasta and you break the pieces and and
then you know, you put them all in piles, and
(38:26):
you got two sides to the bridge. Well, at the
bottom you do a graph. So I drew that up
on the board and I showed the kids, and I
was speaking very slow and clearly. Look it. It's just squares.
It's just lines down, lines across, really simple, and I
should you not probably ten to fifteen kids. First of all,
(38:51):
they looked like circles, and the ship was tiny. There's
no way you could put dry pasta on. I saved
it and I showed it to my ten to RONI.
She was dying laughing because it looks like something a
preschooler drew. And this is coming from kids that are
going into the fourth grade. So remember not all of
the kids are with it, so you've got to keep
(39:13):
that in mind. So my joke to the tender Roni
was that next week, I'm gonna spend two days having
them cut out shapes, go back to kindergarten. We're gonna
go out, I said, we're gonna cut out different planets.
That will take two days. Well, it's it's good and
they will continue that likely those kids for the rest
of their lives and be sloppy. And that's it all right.
(39:35):
We we have a little time left. Andy. Let's get
to the backscratcher. And this is where we beg for
people to like this podcast on the podcast page on Apple.
That helps us out a lot. We gotta get those
numbers up, keep those numbers coming. It does help us out.
Tell a friend, Tell a friend, tell a friend. And
this is where you scratch our back. We scratch your back.
(39:57):
And so this week, how many how many reviews Danny
did we get on the Apple podcast page? The answer
is two. That's right, we got you got it right.
So here the two reviews. We thank you, Blind Jake.
(40:18):
Blind Jake in Minnesota, he wrote in says five stars
the best companion podcast. Blind Jake writes have listened through
three Guide Dog lies. Wow, that's cool. I really enjoyed
the fifth hour from the beginning. But Danny g has
brought it up to a much higher standard. He says,
(40:40):
Gagan was present and posted the shows. But it is
extremely obvious Danny G cares. You see you care, Danny.
This is a passion for you. Man. I I spend
more time producing this podcast than I do making lesson plans.
God love you. And yeah, he says, here, blind Jake,
the blind listeners get it. See the blind Listener is
(41:02):
a better consumer talk Hawk radio program. This is everything
for them. They pay attention to the fine details. Yeah,
and he says, you're blind Jake and his three guide
dogs that he's been through that you can tell. Danny
G spends considerable time editing and producing a high quality program.
Keep it going. And he says, Ben, you need to
(41:23):
visit Minnesota. Now. If I visit Minnesota, blind Jake, you
gotta show up, man, you gotta find a way to
get there. I'd love to meet you. I was right
next to Minnesota and Wisconsin. I know it's a long
drive from Minneapolis St. Paul, where most of most of
our guys live in the metropolitan area there. But I
was blown away because I had so many people from
Minnesota say, Oh, if you come close, I'm gonna be there,
(41:45):
and then I did not realize the depths of the
hatred between Minnesota and Wisconsin, where crossing over state lines
is like there's a point of demarcation, nanny where I
think if you're in minute Anesota and you go to Wisconsin,
you get kicked out of Minnesota or something like that.
But but anyway, blind Jake, I would love to meet
(42:07):
you and come to Minnesota, and I have talked next
time I visit my brother, I don't know, maybe it's
a year or two years from now, I'll go back
to Wisconsin. Instead of flying in Chicago and driving, I'll
do the longer trip. I'll go in to Minnesota and
make the make the drive. At least that's my plan
at this point. He says, you have a huge following.
(42:28):
You need to get an authentic, juicy lucy. Yes I do.
He says they are over a dozen raising knes and
so somebody call uh. He says, you can go around,
round out your round out your menu. He says, uh,
I think it's a word missing. But yeah, listen, I
love raising kings. When I travel, I like to eat
(42:49):
the local food. I can eat raising cans here and
I love raising Kings it's great meal, but I enjoy
I want to eat juicy loose. I go to Minnesota,
I gotta eat the locals up, but not some of
that weird fish you guys in Minnesota. I don't want
to do that. I'm good on that. There's some weird
old traditions in Minnesota'm like, I don't need that. But
juicy Lucy, that's a good bir got the cheese in
(43:10):
the middle not kosher though. All right, Uh, this is
Robert twelve, writes in Danny last one on the Backscratcher
says fifth our great podcast, Big Ben Radio legend. Wow.
Well that this is Robin Biggs Marconi deserving good job
by you, Rob, huge upgrade, he says, adding Danny g
keep the great episodes Rolling Boys as Robin vague. All right, well,
(43:32):
thank you, Rob, Rob's a brigadier general. Thank you for
those Yeah, thank you for those reviews. And you know,
blind Jake, He's right, Ben, it is a good companion
podcast because I actually go back and listen to the
finished production to make sure everything is running smooth with
ad placements and just everything overall. And I'll be checking
(43:54):
things out from my drive where I'm at to the
studios in Sherman Oaks. And seriously, when I'm double checking
our podcast, the drive goes like that. But what I
don't have a podcast on, it seems like I'm in
traffic forever. So one crazy phenomenon with podcasts, I think,
(44:15):
is that they get you through traffic so much better
than other forms of entertainment. Yeah, I agree, And I'm
a big treadmill guy. That's my thing, you know. I'm
a Mr Benny the treadmill And I agree. When you're
on a treadmill, you're listening to something and you really
locked into it. It's it does help pass the time.
It's just like boom, You're done. That's it. You're get
(44:36):
in this trance like state. So anyway, we gotta get
out of here. Anything to promote Danny. I know you're
busy at the Mothership today, as you said, you get
the science class and all that. I gotta catch up
on some sleep, but I'll do it when I die.
Because there's short a couple of people at the network,
so they have me on from four pm to midnight.
That's terrible. Yeah, four pm to midnight today, It's gonna
(44:59):
be a long shift. But I got my drugs and
I'm ready to go, so pretty much the entire Saturday
programming lineup in the evening on the West Coast. It's
going to be a marathon. Wow. Alright, good luck with
that hydrate, drink a lot of water, pace yourself and
if you have a chance, you can maybe take some
(45:19):
of Louise's hair that's in the studio. And I'm about
bring a roller you gotta get out of You have
a great rest of your day. We get the mail
bag on Sunday and we'll talk to you then. Yeah,
see you tomorrow. Affliction
Host
Ben Maller
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.