June 26, 2022 • 44 mins
Ben Maller is in the podcast studio with Danny G. and they're having fun inside the mail bag for your Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Welcome in
another edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and
Danny G. Radio. In the podcast do Joe is a
(00:48):
very exciting year and one of my favorite moments of
the week. The mailbag is that not? Is that now? Wonderful?
The mailbag tremendous, tremendous, tremendace and interesting conversation. Danny G.
If you missed the Saturday podcast, you are the modern
(01:09):
Bill Ny the science guy. We gotta come up with
the nickname. We have not yet come up with a
nickname for you, but we well, what runs Danny G
Radio really flows like. That's a great what you're known
as Danny G Radio? Something science to have the spit ball.
One thing I know about the listener to this program
(01:29):
and and the radio show The restaurant radio show is
very creative. Some people like just Josh, Justin and Cincinnati.
They might be X rated names, but they're interesting. The
one thing I found out is that science is gonna
kill me, literally because I had to bring those projects
home in big boxes every day. And my tinder ronis
(01:52):
gotta shout her out because she helped me cut holes.
I had like a whole workshop going on on our
kitchen table, talk about over time, hours been and that's
why all teachers across the board, the good teachers, not
the old grouchy ones that are tenured, but the good ones,
they bring their work home and so you're really working
around the clock. That week felt like three weeks. So yeah,
(02:17):
I'm definitely looking for some easier projects and experiments to
get into here. The good thing is the longer you
do this, you're you're going to be like that tenured
teacher where you have like a whole roll of decks
of projects and all that. But then you also want
to keep it fresh, right, you know what to do
the same things over and over again. So it's like
that give and take. Do you wanna yeah, have everything
laid out? It's like, uh, my, my mother in law.
(02:40):
She's a she's a teacher, just actually just retired. But
she'd been doing it for a long time, so she
had like all of her like she knew everything, all
the lessons, plans and all that stuff because she's been
doing it for so long, so she had all laid up.
But it's kind of like doing a radio show. That's
one good thing about the radio show. Like every day
is different though, there's so much us to react to,
so you've got some built in stuff. But you no,
(03:03):
you're right. The rundowns that we do for the show,
it's similar to lesson planning. There's a lot of similarities. Yeah,
it's you're planning stuff out and making you know, kind
of looking at the clock and figuring out what needs
to go. Were putting a jigsaw puzzle together every day.
Sometimes you don't have enough pieces for the jigsaw puzzle,
but you still gotta put it together. And when one
of the little kids burns their hand on the hot
(03:24):
glue gun, it's like a bad segment on the radio.
Exactly exactly. All right, let's get to the mail back
here we go, hit us, strike up the band, ohio, wow,
hit that button right there. It's all right. The first
(03:53):
email comes from a very polarizing figure on this show,
Helen and Stu from Mallard Town, USA. It is signed
and the email reads boys extended vacation Deshaun Watson settlement
dittos from Cape Cod How about that they're hanging out
(04:15):
on Cape Cod? Uh? They say Benjamin is short on time,
but suffice to say that wherever we holiday, the Mallard
Militia juggernaut is with us. In the air everywhere. Next week,
in the fifth hour mail bag, crazy vacation drama including
(04:38):
Code three, Lights and sirens, Stu almost die stayed Helen
and Stu. Good to hear that Stu still with us.
Now that's a tease, Danny, that's an email tease. She
didn't tell you how he almost died. No, no, no,
(04:59):
she's she said she's gonna tell us in the next
mail So we have to wait. I'm on the edge
of my seat right now. I cannot wait for the
next email. Do you want to take a guess? How
do you think Stu almost died? Why don't we take
a guess? Here they were hiking and he almost fell
down a cliff. I almost fell down a cliff. I
(05:21):
am going to go. He ate a meal that some
combination of foods that caused his innerds to react in
a negative way. Or he was playing tennis at a
country club on on the Cape and he overdid a
(05:42):
little bit and then he kind of passed out, so
they had to call am. I've got two answers. I'm
going with one of those, right, What is his food picks? Yeah, exactly,
I'm gonna go oodles and noodles, pizza, hot dog, you
know a new hot dogs and lamb chops. Yeah right.
(06:04):
Marcel gets so upset, like Friday, we didn't have time
to do the food picks, and you can tell he
gets upset. It's it's pretty amusing, like he's bummed out.
He doesn't get to tell us what he had for
dinner the night before when it's one of four things.
Next up, Tammy and Montana back to back and belly
to belly, Tammy and Helen bitter good, Fey to mambo.
(06:27):
Exactly right, these two get together, is yeah? Tammy rights in.
I have been listening to the podcast while at work
and enjoying the guests stories, life lessons and emails. My
question is about fan loyalty out of your top three
teams you are loyal to. Which one would you quit
(06:49):
being a fan of if your life dependent on it. Well, Tammy,
if my life depended on it, I quit all. All
of the teams aren't like. But but to answer your question,
this one's gonna surprise a fair amount of people. I
you'll be the judge of that. So my three favorite
teams are the Rams, the Clippers, and the Dodgers. The
(07:13):
one I would get rid of. You want to take
a guess which one it is name, I'm gonna say
Rams because they've flipped flop cities. That is correct, the Rams.
Because I lived many years of my life without the Rams.
In my life, I I liked football, I watched games.
I was a gambler. We did the bid on the
(07:34):
show where every year I had a different team that
I would follow in support for that year, and I
was wearing the clown makeup and all that. So I've
lived the life without the Rams, and so for me,
it's like, I liked the Rams that are back, and
I love the fact they won the Super Bowl and
I got to go to the NFC Championship game and
all that stuff was really cool. But I would dump
(07:55):
the Rams in a second, like I need to see
the Clippers win in my life, just one, just one championship.
I've seen the Dodgers win back in the day, although
it wasn't you know, the World Series I went to.
They didn't win the one, the one that was played
in Texas, uh, and not at Dodger Stadium. They won
all the games in Texas, So that would be Now
(08:16):
what about your Dadny, You're you're the Lakers, Dodgers, and Raiders.
So those are your top three? Yeah? This is hard.
I guess I would have to say baseball though, because
there's a lot of stuff with MLB that I don't
agree with. I don't like the commissioner, I don't like
the greed of the stadium here in Los Angeles. It's ridiculous.
How Yeah, And because of that, I guess have some
(08:39):
sort of reason to walk away from baseball. It would
be hard. I love the Dodgers a lot, but well,
the Dodgers had always treated their fans so well, now
they're just price gouging. I mean, I love the Dogs,
That's what I'm saying. I feel like the Dodgers are
like the baseball version of gasoline here in Southern California. Yeah,
it's yeah, they know I'm still gonna be a fan.
(09:02):
They know I have to pay it to see them.
And then Ben, they're pulling this crap where now I'm
paying every month for spectrum and some of the games
aren't even on the Dodgers station. Now, yeah, well that's
going everywhere. That's that's the whole thing you gotta buy.
Rob Manford has bent over every hardcore baseball fan. And
(09:22):
there's no vasseline. Uh and he's just uh, you know,
you know what's going on there. You not only have
to have your local cable, you've got to have on Fridays,
it's APT on Sundays it's the pea cock yeah them. Yeah,
it's like you're supposed to be growing the sport. But
(09:45):
it's just as you said, it's greed personified. It's it
doesn't matter. We don't care about the customer. And and
that's the bullet excuse my French from the work stoppage,
which didn't last very long. It was like both sides, well,
we care about the fans. We're all about the fan. No,
you're shut up, shut up, all right. I mean I
(10:05):
like going to a game and here in the Oregon,
you know, and then here we go like that's cool
and all that, but ridiculous. And then and then you've
got the angels, and you've got the angels treating media
like pieces of crap. They are the pieces of crap
for doing that. But at least they're trying to do
(10:29):
like family night style promotions. Every ballpark in our country
should be bending over backwards to help the working man
and the working class families out right now. Yeah, it's like,
do you really need to charge the price? Like the
concession prices are so obscene. Yeah, it's bad enough we
(10:49):
have to pay those prices at the grocery store, we
have to get raped at the gas pump. If you're
baseball and you really want to grow your sport, I
would do what Atlanta did with their concession stands a
few years ago and make those prices one of the
selling points of Hey, come here, we're gonna take care
of you. Yeah, or at least have a value, manu,
(11:13):
like a legitimate like there is not everything, but some
of the items are reasonably priced. It's like, why do
they charge so much? Because they can write? Because they
can and they know that they've got you. You're like
Pavlov's dogs, that you love the team and no matter
what you're trained, you are anyway. I'm getting carried away
(11:35):
on that. It's like we're at a rave and we
took some e We're really dehydrated and it's eight dollars
for a bottled water. We really need that water. We're
gonna pass out and die? Is it the electric Daisy Carnival?
Is that what it is? That? Yeah? They got you trapped? Baby,
I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah, all right,
(11:58):
next email, else, says Dear Danny g. And Mr Maller
he says, He says, so Mr Mallor has an ongoing
streak of not having coffee or pork at sushi in
there as well for the rest of his life, as
he already already made it this far without them, like
a good mench listen from our buddy in Miami, he says,
(12:21):
do you have any similar michigas or streaks you are
keeping outside of gambling since selling off your baseball cards?
Who could have known? I grew up in the nineties
too and had tons of rookie cards and stars and
uh in the nineties, But say, lave any chance to
(12:42):
get a comedian on the Salad Days Friday episode. What
we had we had? I know you sent this before,
but we did have a comedian, Sarge, a professional comedian,
a lifetime comedian, was on the show on Friday. I
hope you heard that and enjoyed it, and we will
(13:02):
we have more. Is it from Neil, the real Neil
in in Miami? Who sent this in? Uh? He says,
I saw this at a Whole Foods as well on
my way to get beer and instantly thought of you
Ben and all the guests. Uh. He says here he
knows from the Salad Days on Friday, and yeah, it's
(13:24):
a sixteen dollar, sixteen dollar nine cent bottle of uh
of salads drink called Salad Days. That's what it is,
so you can drink your Salad Days. And he then
asked the real Neil in Miami says, is Bill Burr
and your roll of Days seems like a good Salad
(13:44):
Days guests? Well, sure, I'm sure Bill Burr, very hot
comedian these days, would love to come on the fifth
hour right no, in between filming Boba Fette. I'm sure
he'll be right on it. Yeah, I'd be like, oh,
the Mallard Show Yeah, let me go get a at
all that salad days white wine, and then I'll I'll
(14:04):
do a good twenty minute hit on the Mallard podcast.
What could possibly go wrong? Uh? You know, I loove
if in anybody listening who has a friend or somebody
that you think would be good for the podcast that is,
Do we have to do semi famous or at least
famous to us? Yeah, put anybody on. I mean, I'm
willing to put listeners on. I don't care, I'll put
(14:25):
them in here. I don't I don't want. We can
do we can do a series if you want with
just random p ones. We did that during COVID in
and it was some of the most popular stuff that
we did. But I think that might be because there
was nothing else going on. Yeah maybe, yeah, but I
guess I'm interested to know the backstory of some of
the p ones too, So yeah, I could see how
(14:47):
the listeners would like that. All right, next time come back,
it's time from that. I'll call our friend Jennifer from
Richmond and Virginia, right, Sin says a little. Ben and
Danny always like when Jennifer takes time out to write,
and she says, have you ever been rehashing a movie
with someone fully confident in your description, only to be
(15:10):
corrected and told that you combine two movies and gave
a mash up description. She says, men, hope you're feeling
better from your wisdom teeth issue. I am feeling better, Jennifer,
thank you. Yes, Well, that's one of the things that's
very scary about the way courts worked for so many years,
(15:31):
where it was based on eyewitness testimony, and because what
you remember and what actually happened are often two totally
different things. You know, It's like it's our our memories
are so flawed. Like we we we remember certain things,
but there's a lot of stuff we leave out. And
(15:55):
and yeah, there's quotes that I've given from movies that
I was conveyed Jennifer that I was like, I know that,
and then upon further review, it was like, oh man,
that's that's that's not it at all. A great example
of that is feel the dreams. You know what, you
(16:15):
know what the line is, the great line in that
old baseball when you feel the dreams? Yeah, what if
if you build it, he will come. Yeah, if you
build it, he will come. But that is that is
not it, right, the actual the actual line. Oh, it's
a little different. Yeah, if you build it, they will come, ye,
(16:39):
not he will come, They will come. I guess we're
waiting for his dad. So that's why we all say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but that's just something that said. You know, once it
becomes the legend, you go with the who shot Liberty evilence?
Once the legend you go with the legend and all
that stuff. And there's there's a bunch of movie references
like that. But I'm sure that's happened to you too, right,
(17:02):
Danny and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Just last week, I
was talking about that Robert Redford classic The Natural Speaking
of Baseball, and I was explaining to my tender Rowni
son about that movie. He's never seen it, and I'm like, oh,
you would love that movie. So I started explaining the
movie a little bit my tender OROWNI was like, is
(17:25):
that what happened? I don't remember that? And then she
tried to play it off like she didn't want to
watch it. She said, oh, yeah, Danny made me watch
that movie. H handcuffs or something. No, And then I
started reminding her parts of the movie. She's like, I
don't remember that. No, that wasn't in that movie. I
(17:46):
think I know that movie. I had it on VHS
tape as a kid, and we watched that movie over
and over and over again. That was in a full
time rotation. She just kind of thumbs her nose out
of classic, like, yeah, it's ok it's okay, it's shot
think Redemption. She had never seen that. I showed her
that movie and she's like it was all right. She
(18:11):
has bad taste in some movies. Yeah, well bad damn.
And also I just did the As far as the
memory thing though, again like the distorted memory, it's it's
kind of like I've brought this up before, because all
we do is audio here. We promote audio, we we
sell audio, and that's what we're in when the audio business.
And they've done studies that point out that in a
(18:34):
podcast like this or a radio show, most people only
remember seventeen of things they listened to spoken word, that's it.
So that means all of this content, at most, at
(18:55):
most is retained, which means you can do the math
on that at seventy five right down to toilet. So
could we record seventeen minutes for a podcast and then
repeat the same seventeen minutes. Again. That's a great idea.
That is an absolute wonderful Like it's like some sports
guys on the radio doing the first hour live and
(19:19):
then playing it over and over and over again, yes,
or doing one topic and yeah, repeating the bullet points
every hour the audience turns over. I don't need any
new content. We're good to happy to say. They do
not allow that at Fox Sports Radio. I wouldn't want
to be part of a show like that. Would not
(19:40):
come back. It's Finn from now. Call Pierre from Springfield,
mass home of the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame were Muffett,
mcgraws and Shrine. Says, far be it from me to
put the kabash on any fun or for volity on
your daily show. But the is a butt. Yeah, I'm
(20:03):
a fan of butts, but not this. But I don't
like this kind. Better be a nice one. We don't
like those flabby asses. Yeah, says the other day on
the Mallard Feud, you're contestant. I couldn't believe that his
answer to the question names something that you do when
you first get up in the morning, and he said
take a pee. Wasn't in the top five of the
(20:24):
one people survey Pierces. My question is, without exposing your
game show, who in the hell are the one people
being surveyed besides Mrs Bella Bella, Mrs Mallar, rather, Earf Bella, Cooper,
Roberto Eddie and yourself, Well, Pierre, as we like to
say Danny, on this show, we don't talk about how
(20:47):
we make the sausage. Just enjoy the sausage. Don't worry
about how we make the sausage, because if you see
how we make the sausage, you won't want to eat
the sauce. Only when it comes to monologues and games,
though everything else is fair game, Yeah, everything else is
are we talked a lot of behind the scenes, but yeah,
when people ask you your secret recipe to your monologues
(21:10):
or how does this work with a game, that's where
we draw the line. We're like, Nope, can't ruin it
for everybody will give you some chicken shit answer, some
piecemeal answer that would be that. Next up is Carlos
in Houston. He says, quick comment on the guy who
asked about old Ben Mallard episodes. Carlos as a life hack,
he says, claims on Spotify that they have episodes going
(21:36):
as far back as seventeen. He said they have an
archive of old shows. He says, I listen to them
from time to time, and I'm not gonna lie. He
enjoys some of the old content, the old takes from
back in the day, says ben Kin, you add Astro
Mallard to your list of nicknames since you like to
(21:59):
cheat at the game. Should I do not cheat? That
is a misconception that has been thrown out erroneously by
my colleagues who have tried to slander my good name.
Been going on for years. Well, it's all lies. It's
all lies. It's all fake news, is what it is. Anyway,
Carlos says, uh, let's get a full rundown of those nicknames.
(22:23):
It's been a while since you've done on the podcast.
And he says, also, Danny, will there ever be a
day that you fill in for Roberto on the show?
I think I know the answer that Danny, that that
will not happen. Uh, you can forget about that, right.
You have to be honest with you. I don't even
know how to fly the spaceship any longer. I'm back
(22:46):
behind the pilot and I haven't done that in so
many years. To be honest with you, I would crash
the spaceship so I would know how to play the drops,
but I wouldn't know some other stuff that's been changed
or updated through through the years, like the computer system
and some of the methods of connecting the com rex
boxes and things like that. Ben, the last time I
(23:08):
was doing that, we were still using I SDN boxes. Yeah,
which I'm a fan of the I S D. I
like the D but yeah, it's like that's like a
hard line for people that are wondering. And as far
as the nicknames, you know, Carlos, I would love to
give you the nicknames. So I'm gonna give you the nicknames,
is what I'm gonna I am noticed, the spin master
(23:35):
of misinformation, the bannering broadcaster, the Beethoven of bs. You
pay me five thousand dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine.
How dare you, Kurmudgeon of commentary, Chasm of sarcasm, czar
of zany I'm on drugs right now, man, the dark
night of weeknights sports radio now dumber for having listened
(23:58):
to it. Mode of Mischief, Betty the Brazen King of Zing, Moneyball, Mallard,
Betty the Bopper, Bill Miller, Facetious Fox, Sultan of insulting.
I was gonna post up and take a nap right now. No, no,
I'm not. I'm not even halfway down. The Shaman of
schaden Freud, the jumping Jack of wise Track, the Insight
(24:23):
of Overnight Medicine, Man Miller, the name Bob of negativity,
this Sage of outraged, Pinnacle of senecal, Prince of preposterous,
Professor of propaganda, Tzar of Hyperperly. This isn't the number
one station anymore, is it? And the Mad Hatter of
(24:47):
Sports Day. Now that Dandy is only half of the nicknames.
Carlos wanted the full Monthy wanted the entire menu, and
on a radio show, I can't really do that, but
this is the podcast Danny, so dreams can't come true.
That would take up the whole seventeen minutes of fresh content.
So the rest of my fifty officially sanctioned nicknames are
(25:11):
the Baron of Balgladesh, Big gall Bladder, Bennice, the Menace,
Captain Nietsuer stop Eddie, General of the Genus, the Tycoon
of Tease, Master of Disaster, the hustler of filibuster. My
right hand was getting a workout. Night Light of Nightlife
(25:37):
of Producers, Benny Brightside, Manity of Insanity, Marconi Mallard, money
Line Mallard, the Emissary of embellishment, week Night, wind Bag Beach,
Wizard of Wacky, Slayer of Naysayers, Grand Goober of gab,
the olda Gark of Dark. That's one of my newer names,
the Oldagark of Dark, Tower of babel On. Oh my,
(26:04):
oh my god. Now, don't don't act like your board
you're enjoying. Honest Adonis, nocturnal Colonel, the underdog of monologue
and wait for it, I am such a radio loser,
the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope. And that is
(26:26):
all of the nickname Holy sh it. You don't have
to say holy, you say boy, that's impressive. That's a
lifetime of people giving you great nickti is what that is?
All right now? Out of time because of that, we've
used all the a lot of time on the podcast.
(26:48):
And let good job. Who was responsible for that. That's
Carlos in the Den of inequity for sports anyway in Houston, Texas.
Are you owe me some barbecued ribs, Buddy John and
San Francisco is very upset. He says, all these commercials,
(27:08):
very little content. He's talking about the radio shows, and
no one listens to the last fifteen minutes of any
hour anymore. I used to love this show. It's just
unbearably the hours commercials. That's from John. Well, it wouldn't
be as bad if you weren't been Andy Reid, Clock
Management Mallard. If that should be a new nickname for No, No,
(27:31):
Nothing to do Now. They have added some more commercials,
but there is a It's like it's like making a
cake and you have to have all the ingredients. It's
gonna be like there's that sweet spot where it's the
right mix of everything. And sometimes we do get a
little carried away John where it becomes problematic and I
feel your pain. I would recommend the podcast We're we're
(27:55):
not supposed to say this, but you can fast forward? Wow,
now that you should do that, because that's taboo, right
then he should not do that. No, we need you
to support the sponsors that support us. I'll make a
deal with you though, if you want to fast forward
to the podcast, I will send you a list of
the sponsors. You can support the sponsors, and then you're
(28:15):
free to just fast forward through the podcast. Hey that's
a good idea, right, and then they get what they want,
you get what you want. We're all everyone's happy. The
list of the sponsors with a link that would be
good a link, just click on it. But so I
do thank you, and John, I feel your pain. It
sounds like you're tremendously hurt by this, which means a lot.
(28:37):
I'd rather you be upset. There's too many commercials than
have apathy. I don't want apathy. Uh to me. That
tells me you're a fan, John, you like the show,
and you want to see a change, you want to
see transformation. And um, I'm somewhere in the middle on
this because I do agree with your point that he's
gonna be as a perfect amount and and I don't
(28:59):
know what that that barometer is, where where that baseline is.
But as we've talked about, Danny, when you do a
radio show and there's not a lot of commercials, you
got crickets, that's all we got, you start to get
a little worried. At least you're not doing a live
read every two minutes, because you listen to, like politics
(29:21):
on the radio or talk talk radio. There is live
commercial after live read after, live read after live read. Well,
we do do a lot of live reay, surprising a
surprising number, Lady. We've been doing a lot of live reads,
but I hear not as much as the daytime political
talk radio people. We don't do that. Well, we'll keep
(29:43):
it going. Hang in there, John, hanging there, buddy, stay
with us. We're gonna figure this out. I got mail, yea,
I got mail, yea. Kevin in Kansas writes, and he says,
Dear Benn and Danny, g it's summertime and the living
is easy. You have the entire weekend free, including not
having to go into work to do any radio show
(30:06):
on Sunday. Are you more likely to take it easy
around the house or would you prefer to go away?
I feel like we've been asked a version of this question,
and uh oh wait, right then, you've talked about that
you like to go on weekend trips and that ye
hell yeah, and I mentioned it before. I can slap
my girls ass super hard. There's no complaints. I mean,
(30:31):
there's no complaints at home either, but there are kids
in the house, so you gotta be careful a little
bit about what you're doing. Her little rat dog barks
at me when I slap her too hard. Offensive yea,
she thinks I'm hurting her. But when when? But when
we're away, Ben, it's hotel sex. And you know the
(30:52):
difference between hotel sex and kids at the house sex.
You can let it all hang down, all hang here
you go, look at you at the room service, the
whole thing. Yeah, I think at that. Uh well, I
I like a little bit about We love doing weekend
day trips and stuff. And I mentioned like the last
(31:14):
couple of months it's been all about the beach. Like
I I never used to go to the beach that much,
but now where I'm in the north Woods, it's not
that far away, so I've been going to the beach
a lot. I love it. It's been great. It's like
therapeutic to get my mind off the the rat race.
It's also good because that particular beach that the WiFi
doesn't the internet on my phone doesn't really work, so
(31:38):
I have to like really shut it down, like I
have no connection to the outside world there. That's pretty good.
But I like these little day trips around the area
in California here, so we do a lot of that.
But if you're in Kansas, like Kevin, you know a
lot more, have many more options you're geographically it's not
that far to drive to multiple different states to leave California.
(32:01):
When you're near the Pacific. It's a long haul to
get the Arizona or Nevada just to get to the
state line. It's a long Yeah. Alright, next up on
this Ni meny mony mo. Let's see who is next.
We don't need to play the SoundBite. Tony in Seattle
writes in he says a favorite sitcom and why he says,
(32:22):
keep up the good work. Well, thank you, Tony, as
you are hanging out in a city. We had a
Mallard meet and greet, the second to the last one.
We did Appleton, Wisconsin this year, but we did Seattle
back at the end of twenty nineteen before Armageddon. Uh so,
I gotta go old school with the sitcoms. Well before
(32:44):
I do old school does curb your enthusiasm? That's not
really a sitcom, right, Yeah, it's not a sitcom. Yeah,
there's no laugh track. I love Curby in my favorite
scripted or loosely scripted show old school. I watched the classics.
It depends on how old you want to go. I
love The Office. I think The Office is great, but
(33:04):
that's an old show. All the shows I like, all
the sitcoms are old, like Cheers Seinfeld. I was not
a huge I didn't watch every sign Feld episode, but
I sporadically watched a sign of Frasier. Uh, like, these
are all old shows w k RP and were kids
watching reruns? Yes, that we can blame that show for
(33:27):
our careers. Also reruns of the show Chairs. Yeah, Cheers,
Cheers is great? Yeah, of that, let's see. I like, um,
everybody loves Raymond and also King of Queens. Sure, sure
those are classics. Who doesn't love the Golden Girls, Rob Parker?
(33:47):
I know that he's over there. I'm kidding that is
Rob Parker's and uh and as a kid, I really
love The Fresh Prince of bel Air. Yeah, yeah for sure. Uh,
what are is the most popular show today? What's the
most popular sitcom today? I don't know. I don't watch
network TV. Yeah I don't either, I have no idea.
(34:08):
Me and the Tender RONI we watched stuff like Ninety
Day Fiance, I watched Better Call Saul stuff like that.
But yeah, Network TV. Well over here, my wife watches
like the French baking shows and all the foreign shows.
She loves foreign movies, and she likes movies where it's
in a you know, a different language and they've got
(34:28):
the words on the screen. And I hate that crap.
But I watched a lot of documentaries. I'm pretty boring,
all right. Next up balls fan Jimmy from Big Orange Country.
He writes into the podcast. He says, the word is
that Tiger Woods turned down a billion dollars to play
in the Live Golf League. So when you were Danny
(34:51):
g turned down a billion dollars to do another job.
Let me think about that. If it was blood money, right,
you put up what they're getting at You can rationalize anything.
Everyone's got their price. And I'm gonna go I'm not
gonna be a phony and said I wouldn't do it. Uh,
I would do it. But the goodness is based on
(35:12):
my upbringing. I'm pretty sure the Saudies an't gonna throw
any money, so I don't worried about that. I think
I'm on the wrong tribe for them to send me
any money. But I uh, yeah, I would. Yeah, a
billion dollars, Come on, billion dollars, that's life changing money
for It's not a good comparison though, because Tiger Woods
(35:33):
is already filthy rich, whereas you know, we don't have
anything near a billion dollars. So but they're taking these guys,
the Saudis are taking these guys that had twenty million,
which a lot of money, and they're giving them a
hundred and twenty million. But how much is enough? I mean,
how much? I'm sorry. If I had twenty million dollars,
then no, I would not sell my soul. I wouldn't. Well.
(35:55):
The other argument I've heard is that all of these
guys are around more something, around the same age, they're
from the same generation of golf, and so they don't
want to be the one left behind all of their
It's like, imagine, if you will, a world where all
of your buddies, all of your friends are no longer there.
(36:16):
It's all different, and you're the last one left. But
they're over there doing their thing in a different place,
and you could be part of it, but you stayed behind,
you know what I'm saying. We had a really good
debate about this on the Covino and Rich Show last weekend.
I told them, if you guys had a C in
our shoe and it was being made in a sweatshop
(36:40):
by kids, would you be okay making the profits off
of that? I just feel like, you know, everybody wants money,
and it's so it's everything is so greed driven money, money, money, money,
But in the end, what is it? My mom always
taught me and my siblings, it's paper with m's on it. Now,
(37:01):
don't get me wrong, I would love to make a
ton of money, but at what cost? Where do your
morals lie? If you have any? Well, everyone has morals,
but everyone, as I've said, everyone has a price. Like
you say, you wouldn't do this, that and the other thing,
but there is a dollar amount and you are true.
As I've gotten older, when I was younger, I always thought, well,
(37:22):
it's all about getting money and stuff. And as I've
seen my parents die and friends of mine die and
all that, it's like I've been at so many funerals
over the years and like, well, all these people work
their lives to get all this money and all this stuff.
And my mom busted her ash you had her own business.
And then at the end, you leave it all behind,
so you don't take it with you. You know, whatever
(37:43):
you got you're leaving. You come into the world with
what you had, and yeah, everything else is just you
leave it behind. What's the old saying you can't pack
that ship into a hearse? Yeah, well not anyone, but
they used to it, like and that's the funny thing, Like,
that's why all this two right in the Yeah, I
guess if you're Egyptian, right, I'm bringing all my golden
(38:05):
riches with me, bitches. Just think all those poor pharaohs
in Egypt too, though. I'm gonna leave all my richest
right here and I'll be good. I'll come back. And
then a bunch of m came in there and then
tore the whole thing up. Man oh man uh. A
couple more real quick Berry in Music City, he writes,
And he says, Benny, after your trip out east where
(38:27):
you experience Zaxby's bow Jangles, And he says, Culvers, what's
your ranking of all the fast food joints? Now and
Nashville will have a raising Keynes in December. Will enjoy
raising Keynes in December. There'll be a long line Berry
Kney at combo, no colest Law, extra fries, toast. You
(38:50):
can get it regular or on both sides. They'll cook
it on both sides. For that's my My order would lemonade,
light ice, lemonade on light eyes, so Culvers. Of those two,
I bo Jangles better than Zaxby's. That was a surprise.
I thought I was gonna like zax because I've read
so much about Zaxby Zachs actors. But I like bo
Jangles better and Culver's. I think Culver's is better than
(39:14):
bo Jangles. So of those three, Barry, I would have Culver's,
which is a local chain in Wisconsin and Illinois and
that part of the country. I would have Culver's ahead
of bo Jangles, and then Zaxby's would be third. I
love the cheese curds at Culver's. That a lot of
different things on the Maybe it's like the in and
out Burger of Wisconsin, so it's it's really good. I
(39:36):
was looking up online Culver's and I was like, maybe
they put one out closer where I am. You know,
I think the closest one is in Arizona. I don't
like it enough to go to Arizona. I'm just saying,
but we may be there for the super Bowl though. Well,
that's true. We are planning on going for the Super
Bowl and next year that's gonna be fun. I can't
wait for that little roady yass. Mike from Fullerton Rights
(40:00):
and he says, Ben, was there any blowback when you
exposed Blake Griffin from winning the NBA slam Dunk Contest
or anyone that was slam dun contests in twenty even, Well,
that's a good story, Mike. I haven't thought about that
in a long time. I can't believe it's been eleven years.
And uh and he says, for Danny g can you
slam dunk? Yeah? When I was a teenager, me and
(40:23):
my older brother could get up and touch the rim
because we had enough hops when we were teens. But yeah,
as an adult, hell no, I can't get off the
ground like that anymore. You need some flubber, that's what
you need. You get that flubber. That's an outdated reference
to flubber. That's an old movie. But Mike, Yeah, the
Blake Griffin thing was interesting because the slam Dunk contest
was at Staples Center. Blake was he was a rookie
(40:46):
but he had missed his first year with injury, and
he was a big deal. He was like the breakout
star in the NBA. The marketing arm of the NBA
wanted Blake Griffin to be this big deal and so
it was a slam Dunk contest. It was in l
A at Staples Center. Were just now the crypto we're
losing our ass arena or whatever it's called, and so uh.
The NBA had sent out a press release before the
(41:09):
Slam Dunk Contest was concluded, and it's actually before it,
actually I remember it was before it, and it said
congratulations to Blake Griffin on winning the Kia Slam Dunk concin.
Blake was also a brand ambassador for Kia. Whoops, that's
how Wait a minute, And that was the one. If
(41:31):
I remember, JaVale McGhee had an amazing dunk where he
had like multiple basketballs. It was like an octopus kind
of dunk. That should have been the one that won it,
but they gave to Blake Griffin. It was all about angles,
like girls holding their phone up above their head. That's right,
because he didn't really jump over a car, that's true.
(41:52):
He did not. You're right, Yeah, it's over the front
of the hood. Yeah. If the car had been parked
in the land in the painted area facing yeah, jump
the length of the car, Now that's something. Yeah, he
would have landed on the hood. That would have been
great TV. Yeah, so that's a that's good. As far
as blowback, I mean, there were some people saying, you know,
(42:14):
what are you doing here? And the NBA people tried
to spin it. The PR people for the NBA, as
I recall, they were like, well, you know, it's a
it was just a test email. I'm like, bull crap.
Do you think Jordan and his heyday, do you think
he could have cleared a car like for real as
a car? Yeah? But I just him. I think there
(42:34):
are a bunch of like Dominique Wilkins was an epic
dunker in his day. I think he could have done it.
Dr j Julius Irving and there's probably a bunch of
other guys right now they could do it. We gotta
get out of here, Danny, it's Sunday. You are working
your behind off, You're the science guy. Anything to promote here, anything.
(42:54):
I'm back on my regular FSR schedule for Sunday. So
Covino and Rich at five pm Sific time, and then
the lead in show to you, which is Chris plankin
Arnie Spaniard and of course your first show of the week.
I'll be listening to that as I drive home to
lesson plan for Monday. All right, we will be back
in the radio studio tonight another week of wholesome sports
(43:18):
talk radio programming. And remember, if you want to support
the podcast, give us five stars on the Apple podcast page.
If you write a review, we'll read it on the show,
good or bad, mainly good. I will do that. And
also if you want to send a question in for
a future mail bag like this and you want us
to read your question and give you lots of love
and answer your question or just goof on you either way. Uh,
(43:40):
It's Facebook page Ben Maller Show and it don't forget
if you want to see the photos as well from
Moving Man Matt and his dog Louis, who stopped by
the studio. First visit by a listener since COVID haven't
had any listeners in studios since early and so over
two years years. It was great to have mad and
(44:02):
he's a super fan of the show. You can check
out the truck, the Moving Billboard, so Ben Mallery Show
on Facebook, also the Instagram page Ben Maller on Fox
and Real Fifth Hour. At gmail dot com you wanna
send an email in for a future mailbag, Have a
great day and we'll catch you next time. Austa pasta
gott a murder, Gotta go.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. Welcome in
another edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and
Danny G. Radio. In the podcast do Joe is a
(00:48):
very exciting year and one of my favorite moments of
the week. The mailbag is that not? Is that now? Wonderful?
The mailbag tremendous, tremendous, tremendace and interesting conversation. Danny G.
If you missed the Saturday podcast, you are the modern
(01:09):
Bill Ny the science guy. We gotta come up with
the nickname. We have not yet come up with a
nickname for you, but we well, what runs Danny G
Radio really flows like. That's a great what you're known
as Danny G Radio? Something science to have the spit ball.
One thing I know about the listener to this program
(01:29):
and and the radio show The restaurant radio show is
very creative. Some people like just Josh, Justin and Cincinnati.
They might be X rated names, but they're interesting. The
one thing I found out is that science is gonna
kill me, literally because I had to bring those projects
home in big boxes every day. And my tinder ronis
(01:52):
gotta shout her out because she helped me cut holes.
I had like a whole workshop going on on our
kitchen table, talk about over time, hours been and that's
why all teachers across the board, the good teachers, not
the old grouchy ones that are tenured, but the good ones,
they bring their work home and so you're really working
around the clock. That week felt like three weeks. So yeah,
(02:17):
I'm definitely looking for some easier projects and experiments to
get into here. The good thing is the longer you
do this, you're you're going to be like that tenured
teacher where you have like a whole roll of decks
of projects and all that. But then you also want
to keep it fresh, right, you know what to do
the same things over and over again. So it's like
that give and take. Do you wanna yeah, have everything
laid out? It's like, uh, my, my mother in law.
(02:40):
She's a she's a teacher, just actually just retired. But
she'd been doing it for a long time, so she
had like all of her like she knew everything, all
the lessons, plans and all that stuff because she's been
doing it for so long, so she had all laid up.
But it's kind of like doing a radio show. That's
one good thing about the radio show. Like every day
is different though, there's so much us to react to,
so you've got some built in stuff. But you no,
(03:03):
you're right. The rundowns that we do for the show,
it's similar to lesson planning. There's a lot of similarities. Yeah,
it's you're planning stuff out and making you know, kind
of looking at the clock and figuring out what needs
to go. Were putting a jigsaw puzzle together every day.
Sometimes you don't have enough pieces for the jigsaw puzzle,
but you still gotta put it together. And when one
of the little kids burns their hand on the hot
(03:24):
glue gun, it's like a bad segment on the radio.
Exactly exactly. All right, let's get to the mail back
here we go, hit us, strike up the band, ohio, wow,
hit that button right there. It's all right. The first
(03:53):
email comes from a very polarizing figure on this show,
Helen and Stu from Mallard Town, USA. It is signed
and the email reads boys extended vacation Deshaun Watson settlement
dittos from Cape Cod How about that they're hanging out
(04:15):
on Cape Cod? Uh? They say Benjamin is short on time,
but suffice to say that wherever we holiday, the Mallard
Militia juggernaut is with us. In the air everywhere. Next week,
in the fifth hour mail bag, crazy vacation drama including
(04:38):
Code three, Lights and sirens, Stu almost die stayed Helen
and Stu. Good to hear that Stu still with us.
Now that's a tease, Danny, that's an email tease. She
didn't tell you how he almost died. No, no, no,
(04:59):
she's she said she's gonna tell us in the next
mail So we have to wait. I'm on the edge
of my seat right now. I cannot wait for the
next email. Do you want to take a guess? How
do you think Stu almost died? Why don't we take
a guess? Here they were hiking and he almost fell
down a cliff. I almost fell down a cliff. I
(05:21):
am going to go. He ate a meal that some
combination of foods that caused his innerds to react in
a negative way. Or he was playing tennis at a
country club on on the Cape and he overdid a
(05:42):
little bit and then he kind of passed out, so
they had to call am. I've got two answers. I'm
going with one of those, right, What is his food picks? Yeah, exactly,
I'm gonna go oodles and noodles, pizza, hot dog, you
know a new hot dogs and lamb chops. Yeah right.
(06:04):
Marcel gets so upset, like Friday, we didn't have time
to do the food picks, and you can tell he
gets upset. It's it's pretty amusing, like he's bummed out.
He doesn't get to tell us what he had for
dinner the night before when it's one of four things.
Next up, Tammy and Montana back to back and belly
to belly, Tammy and Helen bitter good, Fey to mambo.
(06:27):
Exactly right, these two get together, is yeah? Tammy rights in.
I have been listening to the podcast while at work
and enjoying the guests stories, life lessons and emails. My
question is about fan loyalty out of your top three
teams you are loyal to. Which one would you quit
(06:49):
being a fan of if your life dependent on it. Well, Tammy,
if my life depended on it, I quit all. All
of the teams aren't like. But but to answer your question,
this one's gonna surprise a fair amount of people. I
you'll be the judge of that. So my three favorite
teams are the Rams, the Clippers, and the Dodgers. The
(07:13):
one I would get rid of. You want to take
a guess which one it is name, I'm gonna say
Rams because they've flipped flop cities. That is correct, the Rams.
Because I lived many years of my life without the Rams.
In my life, I I liked football, I watched games.
I was a gambler. We did the bid on the
(07:34):
show where every year I had a different team that
I would follow in support for that year, and I
was wearing the clown makeup and all that. So I've
lived the life without the Rams, and so for me,
it's like, I liked the Rams that are back, and
I love the fact they won the Super Bowl and
I got to go to the NFC Championship game and
all that stuff was really cool. But I would dump
(07:55):
the Rams in a second, like I need to see
the Clippers win in my life, just one, just one championship.
I've seen the Dodgers win back in the day, although
it wasn't you know, the World Series I went to.
They didn't win the one, the one that was played
in Texas, uh, and not at Dodger Stadium. They won
all the games in Texas, So that would be Now
(08:16):
what about your Dadny, You're you're the Lakers, Dodgers, and Raiders.
So those are your top three? Yeah? This is hard.
I guess I would have to say baseball though, because
there's a lot of stuff with MLB that I don't
agree with. I don't like the commissioner, I don't like
the greed of the stadium here in Los Angeles. It's ridiculous.
How Yeah, And because of that, I guess have some
(08:39):
sort of reason to walk away from baseball. It would
be hard. I love the Dodgers a lot, but well,
the Dodgers had always treated their fans so well, now
they're just price gouging. I mean, I love the Dogs,
That's what I'm saying. I feel like the Dodgers are
like the baseball version of gasoline here in Southern California. Yeah,
it's yeah, they know I'm still gonna be a fan.
(09:02):
They know I have to pay it to see them.
And then Ben, they're pulling this crap where now I'm
paying every month for spectrum and some of the games
aren't even on the Dodgers station. Now, yeah, well that's
going everywhere. That's that's the whole thing you gotta buy.
Rob Manford has bent over every hardcore baseball fan. And
(09:22):
there's no vasseline. Uh and he's just uh, you know,
you know what's going on there. You not only have
to have your local cable, you've got to have on Fridays,
it's APT on Sundays it's the pea cock yeah them. Yeah,
it's like you're supposed to be growing the sport. But
(09:45):
it's just as you said, it's greed personified. It's it
doesn't matter. We don't care about the customer. And and
that's the bullet excuse my French from the work stoppage,
which didn't last very long. It was like both sides, well,
we care about the fans. We're all about the fan. No,
you're shut up, shut up, all right. I mean I
(10:05):
like going to a game and here in the Oregon,
you know, and then here we go like that's cool
and all that, but ridiculous. And then and then you've
got the angels, and you've got the angels treating media
like pieces of crap. They are the pieces of crap
for doing that. But at least they're trying to do
(10:29):
like family night style promotions. Every ballpark in our country
should be bending over backwards to help the working man
and the working class families out right now. Yeah, it's like,
do you really need to charge the price? Like the
concession prices are so obscene. Yeah, it's bad enough we
(10:49):
have to pay those prices at the grocery store, we
have to get raped at the gas pump. If you're
baseball and you really want to grow your sport, I
would do what Atlanta did with their concession stands a
few years ago and make those prices one of the
selling points of Hey, come here, we're gonna take care
of you. Yeah, or at least have a value, manu,
(11:13):
like a legitimate like there is not everything, but some
of the items are reasonably priced. It's like, why do
they charge so much? Because they can write? Because they
can and they know that they've got you. You're like
Pavlov's dogs, that you love the team and no matter
what you're trained, you are anyway. I'm getting carried away
(11:35):
on that. It's like we're at a rave and we
took some e We're really dehydrated and it's eight dollars
for a bottled water. We really need that water. We're
gonna pass out and die? Is it the electric Daisy Carnival?
Is that what it is? That? Yeah? They got you trapped? Baby,
I got mail, Yeah, I got mail. Yeah, all right,
(11:58):
next email, else, says Dear Danny g. And Mr Maller
he says, He says, so Mr Mallor has an ongoing
streak of not having coffee or pork at sushi in
there as well for the rest of his life, as
he already already made it this far without them, like
a good mench listen from our buddy in Miami, he says,
(12:21):
do you have any similar michigas or streaks you are
keeping outside of gambling since selling off your baseball cards?
Who could have known? I grew up in the nineties
too and had tons of rookie cards and stars and
uh in the nineties, But say, lave any chance to
(12:42):
get a comedian on the Salad Days Friday episode. What
we had we had? I know you sent this before,
but we did have a comedian, Sarge, a professional comedian,
a lifetime comedian, was on the show on Friday. I
hope you heard that and enjoyed it, and we will
(13:02):
we have more. Is it from Neil, the real Neil
in in Miami? Who sent this in? Uh? He says,
I saw this at a Whole Foods as well on
my way to get beer and instantly thought of you
Ben and all the guests. Uh. He says here he
knows from the Salad Days on Friday, and yeah, it's
(13:24):
a sixteen dollar, sixteen dollar nine cent bottle of uh
of salads drink called Salad Days. That's what it is,
so you can drink your Salad Days. And he then
asked the real Neil in Miami says, is Bill Burr
and your roll of Days seems like a good Salad
(13:44):
Days guests? Well, sure, I'm sure Bill Burr, very hot
comedian these days, would love to come on the fifth
hour right no, in between filming Boba Fette. I'm sure
he'll be right on it. Yeah, I'd be like, oh,
the Mallard Show Yeah, let me go get a at
all that salad days white wine, and then I'll I'll
(14:04):
do a good twenty minute hit on the Mallard podcast.
What could possibly go wrong? Uh? You know, I loove
if in anybody listening who has a friend or somebody
that you think would be good for the podcast that is,
Do we have to do semi famous or at least
famous to us? Yeah, put anybody on. I mean, I'm
willing to put listeners on. I don't care, I'll put
(14:25):
them in here. I don't I don't want. We can
do we can do a series if you want with
just random p ones. We did that during COVID in
and it was some of the most popular stuff that
we did. But I think that might be because there
was nothing else going on. Yeah maybe, yeah, but I
guess I'm interested to know the backstory of some of
the p ones too, So yeah, I could see how
(14:47):
the listeners would like that. All right, next time come back,
it's time from that. I'll call our friend Jennifer from
Richmond and Virginia, right, Sin says a little. Ben and
Danny always like when Jennifer takes time out to write,
and she says, have you ever been rehashing a movie
with someone fully confident in your description, only to be
(15:10):
corrected and told that you combine two movies and gave
a mash up description. She says, men, hope you're feeling
better from your wisdom teeth issue. I am feeling better, Jennifer,
thank you. Yes, Well, that's one of the things that's
very scary about the way courts worked for so many years,
(15:31):
where it was based on eyewitness testimony, and because what
you remember and what actually happened are often two totally
different things. You know, It's like it's our our memories
are so flawed. Like we we we remember certain things,
but there's a lot of stuff we leave out. And
(15:55):
and yeah, there's quotes that I've given from movies that
I was conveyed Jennifer that I was like, I know that,
and then upon further review, it was like, oh man,
that's that's that's not it at all. A great example
of that is feel the dreams. You know what, you
(16:15):
know what the line is, the great line in that
old baseball when you feel the dreams? Yeah, what if
if you build it, he will come. Yeah, if you
build it, he will come. But that is that is
not it, right, the actual the actual line. Oh, it's
a little different. Yeah, if you build it, they will come, ye,
(16:39):
not he will come, They will come. I guess we're
waiting for his dad. So that's why we all say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but that's just something that said. You know, once it
becomes the legend, you go with the who shot Liberty evilence?
Once the legend you go with the legend and all
that stuff. And there's there's a bunch of movie references
like that. But I'm sure that's happened to you too, right,
(17:02):
Danny and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Just last week, I
was talking about that Robert Redford classic The Natural Speaking
of Baseball, and I was explaining to my tender Rowni
son about that movie. He's never seen it, and I'm like, oh,
you would love that movie. So I started explaining the
movie a little bit my tender OROWNI was like, is
(17:25):
that what happened? I don't remember that? And then she
tried to play it off like she didn't want to
watch it. She said, oh, yeah, Danny made me watch
that movie. H handcuffs or something. No, And then I
started reminding her parts of the movie. She's like, I
don't remember that. No, that wasn't in that movie. I
(17:46):
think I know that movie. I had it on VHS
tape as a kid, and we watched that movie over
and over and over again. That was in a full
time rotation. She just kind of thumbs her nose out
of classic, like, yeah, it's ok it's okay, it's shot
think Redemption. She had never seen that. I showed her
that movie and she's like it was all right. She
(18:11):
has bad taste in some movies. Yeah, well bad damn.
And also I just did the As far as the
memory thing though, again like the distorted memory, it's it's
kind of like I've brought this up before, because all
we do is audio here. We promote audio, we we
sell audio, and that's what we're in when the audio business.
And they've done studies that point out that in a
(18:34):
podcast like this or a radio show, most people only
remember seventeen of things they listened to spoken word, that's it.
So that means all of this content, at most, at
(18:55):
most is retained, which means you can do the math
on that at seventy five right down to toilet. So
could we record seventeen minutes for a podcast and then
repeat the same seventeen minutes. Again. That's a great idea.
That is an absolute wonderful Like it's like some sports
guys on the radio doing the first hour live and
(19:19):
then playing it over and over and over again, yes,
or doing one topic and yeah, repeating the bullet points
every hour the audience turns over. I don't need any
new content. We're good to happy to say. They do
not allow that at Fox Sports Radio. I wouldn't want
to be part of a show like that. Would not
(19:40):
come back. It's Finn from now. Call Pierre from Springfield,
mass home of the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame were Muffett,
mcgraws and Shrine. Says, far be it from me to
put the kabash on any fun or for volity on
your daily show. But the is a butt. Yeah, I'm
(20:03):
a fan of butts, but not this. But I don't
like this kind. Better be a nice one. We don't
like those flabby asses. Yeah, says the other day on
the Mallard Feud, you're contestant. I couldn't believe that his
answer to the question names something that you do when
you first get up in the morning, and he said
take a pee. Wasn't in the top five of the
(20:24):
one people survey Pierces. My question is, without exposing your
game show, who in the hell are the one people
being surveyed besides Mrs Bella Bella, Mrs Mallar, rather, Earf Bella, Cooper,
Roberto Eddie and yourself, Well, Pierre, as we like to
say Danny, on this show, we don't talk about how
(20:47):
we make the sausage. Just enjoy the sausage. Don't worry
about how we make the sausage, because if you see
how we make the sausage, you won't want to eat
the sauce. Only when it comes to monologues and games,
though everything else is fair game, Yeah, everything else is
are we talked a lot of behind the scenes, but yeah,
when people ask you your secret recipe to your monologues
(21:10):
or how does this work with a game, that's where
we draw the line. We're like, Nope, can't ruin it
for everybody will give you some chicken shit answer, some
piecemeal answer that would be that. Next up is Carlos
in Houston. He says, quick comment on the guy who
asked about old Ben Mallard episodes. Carlos as a life hack,
he says, claims on Spotify that they have episodes going
(21:36):
as far back as seventeen. He said they have an
archive of old shows. He says, I listen to them
from time to time, and I'm not gonna lie. He
enjoys some of the old content, the old takes from
back in the day, says ben Kin, you add Astro
Mallard to your list of nicknames since you like to
(21:59):
cheat at the game. Should I do not cheat? That
is a misconception that has been thrown out erroneously by
my colleagues who have tried to slander my good name.
Been going on for years. Well, it's all lies. It's
all lies. It's all fake news, is what it is. Anyway,
Carlos says, uh, let's get a full rundown of those nicknames.
(22:23):
It's been a while since you've done on the podcast.
And he says, also, Danny, will there ever be a
day that you fill in for Roberto on the show?
I think I know the answer that Danny, that that
will not happen. Uh, you can forget about that, right.
You have to be honest with you. I don't even
know how to fly the spaceship any longer. I'm back
(22:46):
behind the pilot and I haven't done that in so
many years. To be honest with you, I would crash
the spaceship so I would know how to play the drops,
but I wouldn't know some other stuff that's been changed
or updated through through the years, like the computer system
and some of the methods of connecting the com rex
boxes and things like that. Ben, the last time I
(23:08):
was doing that, we were still using I SDN boxes. Yeah,
which I'm a fan of the I S D. I
like the D but yeah, it's like that's like a
hard line for people that are wondering. And as far
as the nicknames, you know, Carlos, I would love to
give you the nicknames. So I'm gonna give you the nicknames,
is what I'm gonna I am noticed, the spin master
(23:35):
of misinformation, the bannering broadcaster, the Beethoven of bs. You
pay me five thousand dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine.
How dare you, Kurmudgeon of commentary, Chasm of sarcasm, czar
of zany I'm on drugs right now, man, the dark
night of weeknights sports radio now dumber for having listened
(23:58):
to it. Mode of Mischief, Betty the Brazen King of Zing, Moneyball, Mallard,
Betty the Bopper, Bill Miller, Facetious Fox, Sultan of insulting.
I was gonna post up and take a nap right now. No, no,
I'm not. I'm not even halfway down. The Shaman of
schaden Freud, the jumping Jack of wise Track, the Insight
(24:23):
of Overnight Medicine, Man Miller, the name Bob of negativity,
this Sage of outraged, Pinnacle of senecal, Prince of preposterous,
Professor of propaganda, Tzar of Hyperperly. This isn't the number
one station anymore, is it? And the Mad Hatter of
(24:47):
Sports Day. Now that Dandy is only half of the nicknames.
Carlos wanted the full Monthy wanted the entire menu, and
on a radio show, I can't really do that, but
this is the podcast Danny, so dreams can't come true.
That would take up the whole seventeen minutes of fresh content.
So the rest of my fifty officially sanctioned nicknames are
(25:11):
the Baron of Balgladesh, Big gall Bladder, Bennice, the Menace,
Captain Nietsuer stop Eddie, General of the Genus, the Tycoon
of Tease, Master of Disaster, the hustler of filibuster. My
right hand was getting a workout. Night Light of Nightlife
(25:37):
of Producers, Benny Brightside, Manity of Insanity, Marconi Mallard, money
Line Mallard, the Emissary of embellishment, week Night, wind Bag Beach,
Wizard of Wacky, Slayer of Naysayers, Grand Goober of gab,
the olda Gark of Dark. That's one of my newer names,
the Oldagark of Dark, Tower of babel On. Oh my,
(26:04):
oh my god. Now, don't don't act like your board
you're enjoying. Honest Adonis, nocturnal Colonel, the underdog of monologue
and wait for it, I am such a radio loser,
the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope. And that is
(26:26):
all of the nickname Holy sh it. You don't have
to say holy, you say boy, that's impressive. That's a
lifetime of people giving you great nickti is what that is?
All right now? Out of time because of that, we've
used all the a lot of time on the podcast.
(26:48):
And let good job. Who was responsible for that. That's
Carlos in the Den of inequity for sports anyway in Houston, Texas.
Are you owe me some barbecued ribs, Buddy John and
San Francisco is very upset. He says, all these commercials,
(27:08):
very little content. He's talking about the radio shows, and
no one listens to the last fifteen minutes of any
hour anymore. I used to love this show. It's just
unbearably the hours commercials. That's from John. Well, it wouldn't
be as bad if you weren't been Andy Reid, Clock
Management Mallard. If that should be a new nickname for No, No,
(27:31):
Nothing to do Now. They have added some more commercials,
but there is a It's like it's like making a
cake and you have to have all the ingredients. It's
gonna be like there's that sweet spot where it's the
right mix of everything. And sometimes we do get a
little carried away John where it becomes problematic and I
feel your pain. I would recommend the podcast We're we're
(27:55):
not supposed to say this, but you can fast forward? Wow,
now that you should do that, because that's taboo, right
then he should not do that. No, we need you
to support the sponsors that support us. I'll make a
deal with you though, if you want to fast forward
to the podcast, I will send you a list of
the sponsors. You can support the sponsors, and then you're
(28:15):
free to just fast forward through the podcast. Hey that's
a good idea, right, and then they get what they want,
you get what you want. We're all everyone's happy. The
list of the sponsors with a link that would be
good a link, just click on it. But so I
do thank you, and John, I feel your pain. It
sounds like you're tremendously hurt by this, which means a lot.
(28:37):
I'd rather you be upset. There's too many commercials than
have apathy. I don't want apathy. Uh to me. That
tells me you're a fan, John, you like the show,
and you want to see a change, you want to
see transformation. And um, I'm somewhere in the middle on
this because I do agree with your point that he's
gonna be as a perfect amount and and I don't
(28:59):
know what that that barometer is, where where that baseline is.
But as we've talked about, Danny, when you do a
radio show and there's not a lot of commercials, you
got crickets, that's all we got, you start to get
a little worried. At least you're not doing a live
read every two minutes, because you listen to, like politics
(29:21):
on the radio or talk talk radio. There is live
commercial after live read after, live read after live read. Well,
we do do a lot of live reay, surprising a
surprising number, Lady. We've been doing a lot of live reads,
but I hear not as much as the daytime political
talk radio people. We don't do that. Well, we'll keep
(29:43):
it going. Hang in there, John, hanging there, buddy, stay
with us. We're gonna figure this out. I got mail, yea,
I got mail, yea. Kevin in Kansas writes, and he says,
Dear Benn and Danny, g it's summertime and the living
is easy. You have the entire weekend free, including not
having to go into work to do any radio show
(30:06):
on Sunday. Are you more likely to take it easy
around the house or would you prefer to go away?
I feel like we've been asked a version of this question,
and uh oh wait, right then, you've talked about that
you like to go on weekend trips and that ye
hell yeah, and I mentioned it before. I can slap
my girls ass super hard. There's no complaints. I mean,
(30:31):
there's no complaints at home either, but there are kids
in the house, so you gotta be careful a little
bit about what you're doing. Her little rat dog barks
at me when I slap her too hard. Offensive yea,
she thinks I'm hurting her. But when when? But when
we're away, Ben, it's hotel sex. And you know the
(30:52):
difference between hotel sex and kids at the house sex.
You can let it all hang down, all hang here
you go, look at you at the room service, the
whole thing. Yeah, I think at that. Uh well, I
I like a little bit about We love doing weekend
day trips and stuff. And I mentioned like the last
(31:14):
couple of months it's been all about the beach. Like
I I never used to go to the beach that much,
but now where I'm in the north Woods, it's not
that far away, so I've been going to the beach
a lot. I love it. It's been great. It's like
therapeutic to get my mind off the the rat race.
It's also good because that particular beach that the WiFi
doesn't the internet on my phone doesn't really work, so
(31:38):
I have to like really shut it down, like I
have no connection to the outside world there. That's pretty good.
But I like these little day trips around the area
in California here, so we do a lot of that.
But if you're in Kansas, like Kevin, you know a
lot more, have many more options you're geographically it's not
that far to drive to multiple different states to leave California.
(32:01):
When you're near the Pacific. It's a long haul to
get the Arizona or Nevada just to get to the
state line. It's a long Yeah. Alright, next up on
this Ni meny mony mo. Let's see who is next.
We don't need to play the SoundBite. Tony in Seattle
writes in he says a favorite sitcom and why he says,
(32:22):
keep up the good work. Well, thank you, Tony, as
you are hanging out in a city. We had a
Mallard meet and greet, the second to the last one.
We did Appleton, Wisconsin this year, but we did Seattle
back at the end of twenty nineteen before Armageddon. Uh so,
I gotta go old school with the sitcoms. Well before
(32:44):
I do old school does curb your enthusiasm? That's not
really a sitcom, right, Yeah, it's not a sitcom. Yeah,
there's no laugh track. I love Curby in my favorite
scripted or loosely scripted show old school. I watched the classics.
It depends on how old you want to go. I
love The Office. I think The Office is great, but
(33:04):
that's an old show. All the shows I like, all
the sitcoms are old, like Cheers Seinfeld. I was not
a huge I didn't watch every sign Feld episode, but
I sporadically watched a sign of Frasier. Uh, like, these
are all old shows w k RP and were kids
watching reruns? Yes, that we can blame that show for
(33:27):
our careers. Also reruns of the show Chairs. Yeah, Cheers,
Cheers is great? Yeah, of that, let's see. I like, um,
everybody loves Raymond and also King of Queens. Sure, sure
those are classics. Who doesn't love the Golden Girls, Rob Parker?
(33:47):
I know that he's over there. I'm kidding that is
Rob Parker's and uh and as a kid, I really
love The Fresh Prince of bel Air. Yeah, yeah for sure. Uh,
what are is the most popular show today? What's the
most popular sitcom today? I don't know. I don't watch
network TV. Yeah I don't either, I have no idea.
(34:08):
Me and the Tender RONI we watched stuff like Ninety
Day Fiance, I watched Better Call Saul stuff like that.
But yeah, Network TV. Well over here, my wife watches
like the French baking shows and all the foreign shows.
She loves foreign movies, and she likes movies where it's
in a you know, a different language and they've got
(34:28):
the words on the screen. And I hate that crap.
But I watched a lot of documentaries. I'm pretty boring,
all right. Next up balls fan Jimmy from Big Orange Country.
He writes into the podcast. He says, the word is
that Tiger Woods turned down a billion dollars to play
in the Live Golf League. So when you were Danny
(34:51):
g turned down a billion dollars to do another job.
Let me think about that. If it was blood money, right,
you put up what they're getting at You can rationalize anything.
Everyone's got their price. And I'm gonna go I'm not
gonna be a phony and said I wouldn't do it. Uh,
I would do it. But the goodness is based on
(35:12):
my upbringing. I'm pretty sure the Saudies an't gonna throw
any money, so I don't worried about that. I think
I'm on the wrong tribe for them to send me
any money. But I uh, yeah, I would. Yeah, a
billion dollars, Come on, billion dollars, that's life changing money
for It's not a good comparison though, because Tiger Woods
(35:33):
is already filthy rich, whereas you know, we don't have
anything near a billion dollars. So but they're taking these guys,
the Saudis are taking these guys that had twenty million,
which a lot of money, and they're giving them a
hundred and twenty million. But how much is enough? I mean,
how much? I'm sorry. If I had twenty million dollars,
then no, I would not sell my soul. I wouldn't. Well.
(35:55):
The other argument I've heard is that all of these
guys are around more something, around the same age, they're
from the same generation of golf, and so they don't
want to be the one left behind all of their
It's like, imagine, if you will, a world where all
of your buddies, all of your friends are no longer there.
(36:16):
It's all different, and you're the last one left. But
they're over there doing their thing in a different place,
and you could be part of it, but you stayed behind,
you know what I'm saying. We had a really good
debate about this on the Covino and Rich Show last weekend.
I told them, if you guys had a C in
our shoe and it was being made in a sweatshop
(36:40):
by kids, would you be okay making the profits off
of that? I just feel like, you know, everybody wants money,
and it's so it's everything is so greed driven money, money, money, money,
But in the end, what is it? My mom always
taught me and my siblings, it's paper with m's on it. Now,
(37:01):
don't get me wrong, I would love to make a
ton of money, but at what cost? Where do your
morals lie? If you have any? Well, everyone has morals,
but everyone, as I've said, everyone has a price. Like
you say, you wouldn't do this, that and the other thing,
but there is a dollar amount and you are true.
As I've gotten older, when I was younger, I always thought, well,
(37:22):
it's all about getting money and stuff. And as I've
seen my parents die and friends of mine die and
all that, it's like I've been at so many funerals
over the years and like, well, all these people work
their lives to get all this money and all this stuff.
And my mom busted her ash you had her own business.
And then at the end, you leave it all behind,
so you don't take it with you. You know, whatever
(37:43):
you got you're leaving. You come into the world with
what you had, and yeah, everything else is just you
leave it behind. What's the old saying you can't pack
that ship into a hearse? Yeah, well not anyone, but
they used to it, like and that's the funny thing, Like,
that's why all this two right in the Yeah, I
guess if you're Egyptian, right, I'm bringing all my golden
(38:05):
riches with me, bitches. Just think all those poor pharaohs
in Egypt too, though. I'm gonna leave all my richest
right here and I'll be good. I'll come back. And
then a bunch of m came in there and then
tore the whole thing up. Man oh man uh. A
couple more real quick Berry in Music City, he writes,
And he says, Benny, after your trip out east where
(38:27):
you experience Zaxby's bow Jangles, And he says, Culvers, what's
your ranking of all the fast food joints? Now and
Nashville will have a raising Keynes in December. Will enjoy
raising Keynes in December. There'll be a long line Berry
Kney at combo, no colest Law, extra fries, toast. You
(38:50):
can get it regular or on both sides. They'll cook
it on both sides. For that's my My order would lemonade,
light ice, lemonade on light eyes, so Culvers. Of those two,
I bo Jangles better than Zaxby's. That was a surprise.
I thought I was gonna like zax because I've read
so much about Zaxby Zachs actors. But I like bo
Jangles better and Culver's. I think Culver's is better than
(39:14):
bo Jangles. So of those three, Barry, I would have Culver's,
which is a local chain in Wisconsin and Illinois and
that part of the country. I would have Culver's ahead
of bo Jangles, and then Zaxby's would be third. I
love the cheese curds at Culver's. That a lot of
different things on the Maybe it's like the in and
out Burger of Wisconsin, so it's it's really good. I
(39:36):
was looking up online Culver's and I was like, maybe
they put one out closer where I am. You know,
I think the closest one is in Arizona. I don't
like it enough to go to Arizona. I'm just saying,
but we may be there for the super Bowl though. Well,
that's true. We are planning on going for the Super
Bowl and next year that's gonna be fun. I can't
wait for that little roady yass. Mike from Fullerton Rights
(40:00):
and he says, Ben, was there any blowback when you
exposed Blake Griffin from winning the NBA slam Dunk Contest
or anyone that was slam dun contests in twenty even, Well,
that's a good story, Mike. I haven't thought about that
in a long time. I can't believe it's been eleven years.
And uh and he says, for Danny g can you
slam dunk? Yeah? When I was a teenager, me and
(40:23):
my older brother could get up and touch the rim
because we had enough hops when we were teens. But yeah,
as an adult, hell no, I can't get off the
ground like that anymore. You need some flubber, that's what
you need. You get that flubber. That's an outdated reference
to flubber. That's an old movie. But Mike, Yeah, the
Blake Griffin thing was interesting because the slam Dunk contest
was at Staples Center. Blake was he was a rookie
(40:46):
but he had missed his first year with injury, and
he was a big deal. He was like the breakout
star in the NBA. The marketing arm of the NBA
wanted Blake Griffin to be this big deal and so
it was a slam Dunk contest. It was in l
A at Staples Center. Were just now the crypto we're
losing our ass arena or whatever it's called, and so uh.
The NBA had sent out a press release before the
(41:09):
Slam Dunk Contest was concluded, and it's actually before it,
actually I remember it was before it, and it said
congratulations to Blake Griffin on winning the Kia Slam Dunk concin.
Blake was also a brand ambassador for Kia. Whoops, that's
how Wait a minute, And that was the one. If
(41:31):
I remember, JaVale McGhee had an amazing dunk where he
had like multiple basketballs. It was like an octopus kind
of dunk. That should have been the one that won it,
but they gave to Blake Griffin. It was all about angles,
like girls holding their phone up above their head. That's right,
because he didn't really jump over a car, that's true.
(41:52):
He did not. You're right, Yeah, it's over the front
of the hood. Yeah. If the car had been parked
in the land in the painted area facing yeah, jump
the length of the car, Now that's something. Yeah, he
would have landed on the hood. That would have been
great TV. Yeah, so that's a that's good. As far
as blowback, I mean, there were some people saying, you know,
(42:14):
what are you doing here? And the NBA people tried
to spin it. The PR people for the NBA, as
I recall, they were like, well, you know, it's a
it was just a test email. I'm like, bull crap.
Do you think Jordan and his heyday, do you think
he could have cleared a car like for real as
a car? Yeah? But I just him. I think there
(42:34):
are a bunch of like Dominique Wilkins was an epic
dunker in his day. I think he could have done it.
Dr j Julius Irving and there's probably a bunch of
other guys right now they could do it. We gotta
get out of here, Danny, it's Sunday. You are working
your behind off, You're the science guy. Anything to promote here, anything.
(42:54):
I'm back on my regular FSR schedule for Sunday. So
Covino and Rich at five pm Sific time, and then
the lead in show to you, which is Chris plankin
Arnie Spaniard and of course your first show of the week.
I'll be listening to that as I drive home to
lesson plan for Monday. All right, we will be back
in the radio studio tonight another week of wholesome sports
(43:18):
talk radio programming. And remember, if you want to support
the podcast, give us five stars on the Apple podcast page.
If you write a review, we'll read it on the show,
good or bad, mainly good. I will do that. And
also if you want to send a question in for
a future mail bag like this and you want us
to read your question and give you lots of love
and answer your question or just goof on you either way. Uh,
(43:40):
It's Facebook page Ben Maller Show and it don't forget
if you want to see the photos as well from
Moving Man Matt and his dog Louis, who stopped by
the studio. First visit by a listener since COVID haven't
had any listeners in studios since early and so over
two years years. It was great to have mad and
(44:02):
he's a super fan of the show. You can check
out the truck, the Moving Billboard, so Ben Mallery Show
on Facebook, also the Instagram page Ben Maller on Fox
and Real Fifth Hour. At gmail dot com you wanna
send an email in for a future mailbag, Have a
great day and we'll catch you next time. Austa pasta
gott a murder, Gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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