July 2, 2022 • 39 mins
Maller and his 5th Hour homie Danny G. have a fun Saturday broadcast for you on this holiday weekend, talking the Shell Game, Wal-Mart or Target, contraband, back scratcher, Scientifical and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
in another random edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben
Mallard and Danny G Radio back in the podcast do
(00:44):
Joe for another day of podcast magic, even on a
holiday weekend, Danny G the extended elongated holiday weekend. We
are here because there is no such thing as holidays
when you work in radio. Is that true, Danny? I
think that's true. That's more than true. And Ben, some
people eat dozens and dozens of hot dogs and buns.
(01:08):
We do dozens and dozens of podcasts. That's right, One
after another saying it is an assembly line. We are
mass producing podcasts. It's what we're doing here, unless we're not.
But you know, we have a good time. We do it, yeah,
depending what some some weeks we do it earlier in
the week. Some weeks we do it late in the week.
You never know the magic of podcasting, you never know
(01:31):
when it happens. The key is to avoid dead air, right,
you don't want to you don't want that sound. You
don't want to hear that your problem. So anyway, we'll
get into it. We have the shell game, walmart or Target, contraband, backscratcher,
and the scientifical if we have time. Who all right,
(01:56):
so let's get right into it. The check engine light
has popped up on the mallarmobile I have driven more recently.
My wife drives a lot for work. I've been driving
into the studio more. So. We took the car to
the shop. They did a bunch of tests, which is
never a good thing. It's never gonna all these cars
(02:16):
today have computers all over the place, so did. They
did a bunch of tests, and the mechanic determined that
the catalytic converter, a component in the engine that keeps
the fuel you know, the gas mileage pretty low, was
slowly dying. And the guys like, well, you need to
replace it. You probably should have replaced it yesterday, and
(02:38):
I'm not hoping so the repair shop because this is
The Life of Mallard podcast of the Repair Shop. I
want to tell you what I've been dealing with your
the family here, So me and the wife, we we
went to the repair shop. They quoted us a price.
It was an outrageously expensive price. It was so expensive
for this part of the car. Then I put my
(03:01):
foot down and said, no, we're not going to spend
that money. Uh no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no. It was really ridunculous how expensive it was.
And so it's anyway, it was such a silly price. Yeah,
I said, no, no, no no, I'm gonna find that part
somewhere on the interweb. I don't know where, but it's
(03:24):
the internet age. I guarantee I can find that part
for cheap. You can check the local chop shop in
Sherman Oaks, California. Verse our producer at Fox bur Singer
and yeah, yeah, I he recently had one of those
stolen off his car at the parking garage at fs
are Yeah, wonderful, murder wonderful. It's great. Well that that
(03:51):
is the number one area or car theft in Los
Angeles where we do the show from the Fox Sports
Radio studios are number one, number you can get on
either the four oh five Freeway or the one on
one within about thirty second, or Ventura Boulevard or Burbank Boulevard. Yeah,
(04:16):
or you can go up in the hills and get
lost in the hills. I mean, there's a million ways
to get out of there. And so car thieves have
figured out over the years that that's a great area.
And there's also a lot of people on the hills
that have a lot of dough a lot of cash,
so that helps as well, and they drive nice cars
and all that. Anyway, so yeah, Bursche, I had heard
(04:37):
some of the Bursche in your head some mission. But anyway,
this mine wasn't stolen. It just started dying. And so
I told the ves a door, get the part number.
I'll go on the internet. I'll find it. So I
get the exact partner. So now the scavenger hunt is on.
And the cool thing about the internet is it doesn't
take that long once you know the right part and
(04:57):
all that stuff. So I'm a man on a mission,
and within a like a minute, Boom found the part.
And I found the part for eight hundred dollars cheaper
at a car shop in Texas. Eight hundred dollars cheaper
than maybe they were. So I ordered the part and
they we we were the part. They said, well, that's
(05:19):
I'm back order. So I'm like, fine, I'll wait. I
don't care, I'll play the waiting game. So then like
a week went by and yeah, I really hadn't heard anything.
And then all of a sudden they cancel the order
and he said no, there's no reason really given. So
(05:40):
now I'm like, okay, well there must have been a misunderstanding,
but maybe they just couldn't get the party. So I
went back on the scavenger hunt, and again bingo, I
found the part again, this time for about seven hundred
dollars cheaper. Then the dealer slash repair shop I went
to was charging for the specific part. So again we
(06:03):
order the part. No problem, do it online. Uh. And
now a couple of weeks later, oops, it happened again.
They canceled apart, and so anyway, it happened again. It's
now happened three times, and so I had an epiphany
that there's a shell game going on and I don't understand.
(06:23):
I don't understand how they're making money on it. Person
I guess they get we buy it and then they
I don't know how they can play with the money
or not. But there's a bunch of places that advertise
all these different It's not just my car, but a
bunch of random parts. And because of several issues possibly
related to Sleepy Joe or Vladimir Putin, depending on who
(06:45):
wanna blame, there are major supply chain issues, and so
these car shops are advertising these parts really cheap, and
then dopes like me end up ordering the part and then, uh,
you know, had a certain finite amount of time, they
end up canceling. So I don't know what the hustle
is per se, but something doesn't smell right. All right,
(07:08):
something doesn't smell right. And I still do not have
the piece for the car that the car still driving.
It's not like I can't drive the car, the Matamobile,
but it's not getting a good gas mileage, and so
the catalytic converter, which there's that's why people are stealing
them right there. This is big money here. You're getting
big money for these things. And so we did order
(07:29):
from a different place. Again, so far they have not canceled,
and hopefully one day I can come on this podcast
Danny and say zipp any dude does zipp any day,
and I'll have the part, and and and it's they're
all cheaper, and like I don't understand, like why why
(07:50):
there would be that big a disparity for the same part,
Like is it you're telling me it's just eight more
in California then it would in Texas or Louisiana or
North Carolina. Doesn't make any sense, so some kind of
shell game. Can you figure out how they're making money
on that? Or why would why would they bother doing it?
(08:12):
I don't understand. If you don't have the part, don't
advertise the part, and you don't have to worry about it.
But if you're advert if you advertise a product, if
if I put an ad on the internet and say
i'm I'll say I'm running a restaurant, and you'll come
to my restaurant. I have the greatest Philly cheese steaks
sandwiches of all the time at my restaurant. And then
(08:34):
you show up to the restaurant to order the sandwich
and they said, well, you know, we don't really have it,
but I'm sorry, we don't have sandwiches anymore. Well, who
does that? You gotta be prepared. So yeah, it's not
like they're charging a service fee or something like that
to pull the part from a shelf, so they're not
gaining anything. If it's hackers, I guess they could try
(08:55):
to get people's information. That would be the only thing
I could think of. Yeah, these are legit in meant places,
like I've as far as I can tell, unless I'm
getting hornswoggled by the Internet, and who the heck knows
whether or not you're getting hornswoggle by the Internet. But
but no, I don't have had had not had any
like weird activity anything like that. It's on my account.
(09:16):
It's just it's like one time, okay, even two times.
I'm like, all right, but it's happened three times, and
I played baseball, Danny g I know three strikes are out.
I know that that's the case. Tomorrow never comes when
you order these parts. It's not right. We got to
hear from some mechanic friends who are listening. Oh yeah,
that's a good call. Yeah, we we have some in
(09:37):
the Mallary militia. We have a few mechanics who are
not bullshitters, who will give us the inside skinny on
what's going on, and it's it could be just that
there are these parts don't exist because they're not making
them and they have to come from another country. And
but again I go back to if you don't have them,
spare me with the advertising on the internet. I don't
(09:58):
need I don't need that, to be honest with me,
So you don't have it. It's fine. Onwards and upwards
we go. And an angel question is it Walmart or
is it Target? It really is a question that goes
back many many years, Danny back to the I think
the Neanderthals where they were walking around wanted to know
do you go to Walmart? Target? What's crazy? Is you?
(10:20):
And I have a similar theme going on here because
this didn't pass the smell test either. Okay, a couple
of nights ago, I go into Target. My girl wanted
some gatorade, some Gatorade zero. So I told her, all right,
she's always at the grocery store, She's always getting what
we need. So I said, I'm gonna go to Target.
(10:41):
You rest, I'll get your gatorade for you. So like
the hero I am, which I go to the store
probably once a month compared to her five times a week.
Did you did you ride in on a horse that
like a like a night and shining armor to the
to the target. It was more like night rider. And
I was walking in like Hastlehoff. I spoke into my
(11:05):
Apple watch and I'm like, kit, meet me out in
front of the target right now. Um. So I go
in there, and as I'm walking through the parking lot,
there's this couple and they are pushing a huge cart
filled with cases of Ensure Red bull which I thought
was a weird combination, a bunch of sodas and cokes
(11:28):
and mountain dew. That's how many drinks were in this cart.
And they're pushing it towards the target, and the lady
says to the guy, you better not be seen with
me going in. That's the only way this is gonna work.
What Yeah, And I'm like, what okay, I'm just gonna
buy my own business. I didn't hear see that, and
(11:49):
so they split up. She's now pushing the cart and
he goes into the other side of the target, and
as I'm walking in, I grabbed my own cart because
I'm thinking, I'm a low up on this gatorade. Let
me throw it in this cart. I've pushed the cart
past where people are doing returns. As I'm passing the
return counter, there's this kid calling for a manager. This
(12:12):
lady is there with that huge cart. I saw them
pushing in or her pushing in now, and she's calling
for assistance because she's like, this lady wants to return
all of this. Wow, So it's a little hustle they got.
So I walked to the back of the target. I
find the drinks, throw it in my cart, wheel it
(12:33):
towards the front. This Targets have a nice part of town.
It's very clean. It's usually a very nice, easy experience
in and out of there, except the lines get kind
of long because like a lot of stores around the country,
they have three people working. And so, yeah, they have
the self checkout options, yes, and that self checkout line
(12:55):
is always pretty long there at this target. But I
get into that line patiently waiting, and all of a sudden,
I hear this voice just screaming, what do you mean,
get away from you, get away from you? Did you
hear that? Did you hear that? And I craned my
head over to take a look, and it's that guy
(13:16):
that was in the parking lot with the lady. He
has two Target employees next to him at the self checkout,
and he is raising hell. He's telling this lady, it's
because I'm black. It's because I'm black, right, because I'm back.
And I'm like, whoa, what is going on over here?
(13:38):
And now the people who are in the line next
to me for the regular checkout they're also are all
looking over This is now an official commotion. And then yeah, yeah,
I get to give a couple other words too. It
was a ship show too. Yeah. He's screaming at specifically
(14:00):
at one of the two standing there next to him,
and he's like, I don't give a funk. If you
are a manager, you're a racist. You just told me
to get away from you. And she and she's like, sir, sir,
and she pulled her mask down. This is what it
started to get really good. Ben. She pulls her mask,
She pulls her COVID mask down, which only employees have on.
(14:23):
Okay inside this store. She pulls the mask down and
she says, look at me, I'm Mexican, okay. And he's like,
so I'm black, and now we're doing William, which is
okay yeah, and she's like, no, sir, sir, I'm Mexican.
My point is we're all from diverse backgrounds. It has
(14:46):
nothing to do with race. And okay, it doesn't have
to do with race. Then why did you just tell
me to get away from you? And she's like, no, sir,
what I said is to back up because I was
busy trying to put my code in And he's like, post,
you told me you weren't gonna put your employee code
in because you said I didn't pay for all these items?
(15:10):
Is he on drugs or something like that, or what's
what's the hustle? What's he going? First thought in my
mind was was this guy purposely causing a distraction so
that that chip could steal some stuff? Yeah, that went
through my mind. Also, he grabbed a receipt. It might
have been another return from another time they were there,
(15:30):
because he was like, see this return receipt because this
lady was nowhere anywhere in sight, nowhere near him, the
one he walked in with that did that big return,
she was nowhere in the picture now. So I'm like,
where is that lady that didn't want to be seen
with him going in? But he's now holding up some
other old receipt. See this receipt. I'm a longtime customer.
(15:52):
And and in his cart ben he now has more
Red Bull, more Insure, more cases of drinks. He went
into the store, grabbed all that stuff and went to
the self checkout. I'm now sitting there like a private detective,
like what is going on here? He tells the lady,
Fuck you, I don't care if you don't think I
(16:13):
didn't pay for all this. I'm walking out with all
my drinks. Oh, here we go. They just walked? Did
he just walk out with all that? So he's flipping
them the bird. He's pushing his card out with all
the drinks, and she's like, sir, sir, you didn't pay
for all of those? Uh? And that's what I was.
(16:35):
That's what I wanted to ask you, because I'm like, okay,
so do you think the hustle was he caused a
big distraction, got out of there, and then they returned
the stuff and got credit or money and he didn't
pay for all the items? Is that the hustle? Yeah?
Like here's the thing that you know in in l A,
(16:55):
you're allowed to steal. The district attorney what's his name,
gascon Or whatever his name is, George Gascon. They allow you.
You're free under a certain amount, right, there's I forget
what the cutoff is, but they you can walk out
of the store and they won't do anything. So but
the return part, it was like they steal stuff and
(17:16):
then plan on returning it so they can get money
for it. But why would you go to the same
story you stole it from. That doesn't make a lot
of sense. No, yeah, they doesn't unless they had gotten
that first cart of stuff came from a different target. Yeah, yeah,
that that could have been where it was from a
different different Are they like gypsies going around stealing stuff
(17:37):
and that's how they make their money or they just
I don't know. That was entertainment for everybody inside that
target though. It was like a real life what's that
the movie with George Clooney Oceans eleven? Is that the one? Yeah?
And that does That's like something you'd expect to see
at Walmart. So, like there's two types of people. There's
the Target people and the Walmart people. I'm on team Walmart.
(18:00):
My wife loves Target. She hates Walmart. She will not
go to Walmart. And I love going to Walmart. Because
it's like you get the shop and see a show.
It's it's like to me, it's just it's I I
used to love when I lived in UH In certain
parts of l A. I would go to Venice Beach,
the Bennette Venice Beach Boardwalk, which is a big tourist place.
But that's like the freak show in l A at
(18:22):
Venice Beach. And when I'm in Vegas, I love to
go to Fremont Street because that's where the freaks are.
And you know, it's like Times Square used to be
like that in New York, not so much anymore. Miami
South Beach, like those are the place. Going to Walmart's
like a little taste of that, and it's what you expect.
There's there's people with all kinds of body art and
(18:42):
uh weird piercings, and people that look like they've been
up for a week or two and haven't slept, and
and there's like all kinds of people that are you
can tell are introverts and don't get out much. This
is their only trip. There's it's just wild. They're at Walmart,
but you don't always see that at Target. Target has
the reputation of being more more upscale, obviously than the
(19:04):
Walmart tar j as we like to call it, my
tender rowning. She also refuses to walk into a Walmart. Yeah,
my wife, I'm like just coming up with let's go
to Walmart. You get the better deals. The people are crazy,
She's not. I don't like the she don't like the lighting.
She complains about the lighting is I've heard that to
the lighting makes some people ill. What the hell? I've
(19:25):
never had an issue with the lighting. Like whatever, I
to walk in, I get my stuff, walk out whatever.
The light it's like hospital lighting, and you also have
some sick people inside, like the Camaio hospital. Yeah, yeah,
it might be that. These are some of the people
that call me. Would be the Walmart crowd, right, some
(19:45):
of my regulars might be the Walmart crowds. I'm not
naming names here. Holler and James would be checking you out, Yeah,
hollering James and Jet well, well, Jet fueld George he
called for a while, he stopped calling, uh, And then
our our friend in Florida who likes to do the
(20:09):
drug fled. Jeah. Yeah, Jet who fled would be pupils
on his eyes, would be like really like wide open
all that stuff. So there you go, alright, wonderful. I
wonder how often people do go to Target and Walmart
and try to return stuff they didn't actually buy and
how that works. But I know what Walmart do you
(20:31):
have to have the receipt, right, That's that's the deal, apparently,
I Target, you can just scream at managers flip birds
and put your card out. Yeah. I last year we
had the first ever and this is a this is
a a podcast exclusive, a fifth hour exclusion. So last
(20:52):
year we had the first ever Mallard flea market for
you know, just for laughs and giggles. We had eempted
to unload some of our excess. As you know from
listening to the podcast over the last couple of years,
I've I've lost my father last year. So my dad
had all my mom's stuff and his stuff obviously because
(21:14):
he was still with us. And then when he passed on, I,
along with my brothers and you know, got all my
dad's stuff. But since my brothers live respectively in Wisconsin
and New York, they're not in California, so I ended
up having to take care of me and the wife.
We had to take care of all that stuff. So
(21:35):
we tried to have a flea market, didn't he did
not go all that great. We had bought some sandwich
board to advertise around the north Woods and it was
not very effective. One of our neighbors not part of
it was because COVID was still very active and it
hadn't things hadn't opened back up. That was one issue. Uh.
(21:59):
And so one of the neighbors who had kind of
walked around and seeing what we were doing, and he
just he was doing some shopping looking looking at the
the crap we were selling at the garage sale. He
mentioned this. This old guy said, yeah, I got a
little life ACTU debonair. Gentleman said that he was one
(22:19):
a hat. He said, you know we should do and
he says he's done this. He says, you wait till
the next election, and then the election signs are wonderful
to repurpose for yards sits. And so the guy's giving
this whole rap. He said, there's a city ordinance which
he said says he says in a a fair game, he says,
(22:42):
you can use it to your advantage. He sayd's after
an election, the candidates, whether they win or lose, it
doesn't matter you have. I think it was two days
to pick up all of you know, those plastic signs
that are all over the place before. So in this
in this town, he said, you can pick those things
up and if if they don't pick the signs up,
they'll get fine. The politicians and the residents are free
(23:05):
to take them. It's like a blight in the community.
So we had an election not that long ago, like
all over California, right it was like a mid term
thing or something. Anyway, So there's an election and I'm
driving around and I remember what that guy had said,
and I'm driving back home and I noticed there was
some really good looking signs, some really sexy signs, and
(23:29):
I made a deal with myself. Danny Gait, did you
say sexy signs. Yeah, they were good looking signs. They
were like signs like you could say, oh, that's gonna
get a lot of traffic of the yards. And so
I made a deal with myself. If those signs, I said,
in my head, you know you have that, you have
yet that that that soundtrack in your head. So the
voice in my head is like, Okay, here's the deal.
(23:49):
I'm not gonna take the signs right now. I'm gonna
give these politicians all the time I can. I don't
even know who they were. I didn't pay, but I
I said, listen, if those things are still there in
a couple of days, they're mine. And so a couple
of days, each day I drove by, they were still there.
Drove by, there were fewer and fewer signs, but they
(24:11):
were still some there. And so after a couple of
days had passed, I was driving back from the gym.
Actually I was driving back from the gym, and they there,
they were. I saw them like a beacon off in
the distance as I was driving, and I saw the signs,
and I drove by them, and then I made a
(24:32):
U turn and it was on like Donkey Kong. I
stopped the malamobile right on the side of the highway.
There I got out with the comps. I was like
a peacock with my feathers off, very confident, and I
snatched these political signs and I took him like they
belonged to me, and uh, and then I headed back home.
(24:57):
I hid the contraband on the side eight of the
Mallard mansion, so very smooth. And my my wife, she's
probably gonna hear this podcast and find out about this,
but she doesn't even know. I have not informed her
that I did this. But he would have told me
not to do it. But I did it and as
smooth as Tennessee whiskey. Uh. And so so now we
(25:21):
are locked and loaded. Whenever the next Mallard flea market happens,
hopefully we'll do something by the end of the summer,
late July, August, something like that. But I have a
couple of political signs, so I will be able to
put the way it works here, Danny, is you take
the sandwich board, you put it over the sign to
cover the obviously you don't want to promote the politician
(25:43):
and uh. And these are very effective and I'm excited
to see if it does work to increase traffic to
sell products because I'm in I'm a businessman, Danny, I'm
looking out for the business. You know, there's items to
be sold. I know, I'm a supposedly a radio guy.
Why would you think Colin Cowherd is doing this? You
think God leaves doing this kind of stuff. No, probably
not probably. I don't think Colin Coward's driving back to
(26:05):
a seven million dollar mansion in Uh. Near the beach
there in l A in Manhattan Beach and saying, what's
going on with these signs here? Maybe I could pick
one up for my garage. So I don't think he's
doing it. But see I'm I'm more relatable that way, Danny.
That's the way I look at You are John Q taxpayer,
So you have every right to those signs, that's right. Listen.
(26:27):
And the rules are if you don't pick the signs
up after a couple of days, it's free game, free rein.
And so that people did not pick the signs up.
And that little birdie or that old Debonair guy who
came by, he told me the whole thing, give me
the inside skinny, and so there you go. I I
I took the opportunity and I pounced, is what I did.
(26:49):
So when are you going to have your next Mallard
flea market? Yeah, we're we're looking probably the end of
the ind of summer. As I said, so nothing, nothing said.
The problem with the flea market is you have to
like go through everything and price it and it's a
big pain in the behind. So we'll see labeling, the
(27:10):
waking up early, moving it all out, then setting it
all out for a nice display, and then you have
to be out there with everything. You have to be
a show guy or a show girl with the items. Yeah,
and then you're like disappointing because not enough people come
by or they don't buy it. And then they try
to they try to work in and get even less
for they want to pay less for the item, right,
(27:32):
they try to hustle. So that's the whole thing. A
lot of haggling going on. Yeah, yeah, a lot of that.
Or only I only have cash, or I only have
this much cash. I don't have the full amount, but
I only have just just what's in my pocket right now,
and I can't I'll by the way, this weekend a
big weekend, Danny g. It's the wife's birthday was back
(27:52):
on Thursday, so this is her birthday week, which means
we have a very busy schedule and she has requested
that I surprise her. So we are going on a surprise.
I'm not even allowed to reveal it here on the podcast,
but I uh it invine. I can't even say what
(28:15):
it runs, but listen then I will give complete details
that if I pull this off, maybe it will not happen.
But the plan is, as we are talking right now,
me and you, a little birthday surprise that will be
taking place hopefully. But you're gonna take the car that
doesn't have the catalytic converter issue. God, no, we're taking
(28:36):
the one of the catalytic converter issue. No, no, we're
taking that way. But here's here's the thing. Like I
I'm not a planner per se. My wife usually plans
most of the stuff that we end up doing. I'm
like just going along with the flow kind of. So
now I'm in charge. Now I'm the one making the plans.
Let's see if it works out or not. Now the Backscratcher.
This is our weekly feature on the show Danny where
(28:57):
we we help out and we asked people to give
us reviews. Some of these podcasts like millions of reviews,
so popular and we're just a little engine that could here.
We only do the podcast a few days a week.
We're not a daily podcast. We're not you know, we
don't have a big advertising budget. So one of the
things that helps us out to keep the good podcast
(29:18):
going is a review, a simple review on the Apple
podcast page. You can go wherever you get podcasts, but
on the Apple podcast page. For some reason, management seems
to be fascinated with that podcast page. It's a very
big deal. Uh. And so anyway, we asked you to
do it. What help us out? Nice review? Five stars
on there. I know it's a pain in the the
(29:40):
assis and all that, but why not because this show
is a solid two five stars for each of us.
I I captain five stars, Hi, I like to saint.
So the way it works is if you take the
time out of your busy life you have to do
you have responsibilities. Why are you doing it? But if
(30:03):
you take the time out of your life to do it,
you scratch our back. We scratch your light. You're you're back.
And it's it's our weekly tip of the on air
light the microphone if you were the headphones to the
p ones. And so this week we go to the
podcast pagency who has giving us a review? Do we
have any reviews? Danny? Do you think we have any reviews?
This and give you two dollar drum roll here number one? Hey,
(30:31):
but we'll take that loud and proud. We'll take number
one right here. It is river Rat is the nice
person to gift us a good review on the Apple
podcast page. He gave us Danny five stars. He did
not tell us to shut the hell up. It's a
wonderful thing. And uh and here's what he wrote. He
(30:52):
wrote smart, humorous, relatable. See that Danny were relatable. Listeners
to this podcast also have taken political signs to repurpose.
They've also sold crap in the front yard like we
have absolutely anyway, River Rats says Benn and Danny G.
Are a great pairing for the podcast format. It is
(31:12):
clear they like each other and the repartee is funny, enjoyable,
and relatable to everyday life Boom, he says. Ben stories
on toothaches, garlic cures, the veteran moves for sampling food
at Costco, and losing a wedding ring at the beach
make you feel like you're sitting there with them. Danny
G's teaching experience is fun to hear, along with inside
(31:36):
school stories about the bureaucracy, kids attitudes, and preparing science
lessons place well lesson plans. Well, this is somebody that's
a p one right here. This guy, Danny, this guy
gets he's he's taking copious amounts of notes on all
the nonsets we talked about on a weekly basis. Here
he says Danny's stories about personally talking to Donald Trump
(31:56):
while trying to book him on the show was very entertaining.
You guys are the best. Thank you for taking the
time to share a little life with your listeners. Well,
thank you, River Rat. That's one of the nicest reviews
we've had. That was wonderful, So thank you. And it
came from a rat. It came from vermint Man. Believable.
(32:18):
That's a really nice review. And Ben, who would have
thought that it would take more emails and more calls
to book Joey Chestnut than it would Donald Trump. Well,
in fairness, President Trump very he likes the media. Well,
he liked friendly media. We we that was friendly a
media right with media who agrees with him. Yeah, yes,
(32:38):
I think every president likes the media that agrees with them,
whether it's Trump or Biden whoever. So there's that with
President Trump. And Trump was a media guy before he
became the president. And Joey Chestnut though, we're talking about
Babe Ruth in his prime. This is bigger than Lebron James.
(32:59):
It is bigger than Tom Brady. It just is. There
is debate whether or not Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback.
Most people say he is, but there's a Joe Montana crowd.
There's other people that say random quarterbacks Peyton Manning or
Drew Brees or somebody else's better, more talented, that Brady
just happened to be lucky with the Patriots. There's that argument.
(33:20):
There's an argument I'm a Michael Jordan fit. Other people
like uh Lebron and some people old school guys will
give you a wilt or something like that. There is
no debate. There is a consensus that the great Joey
Chestnut is the single not a generational talent, He's an
all time talent in his athletic endeavor of competitive eating.
(33:43):
And how lucky Danny. I want to hug you. That
was such an a minute, What an amazing get to
have Joey Chestnut. I mean, I've been wanting to talk
to him for years. We had last year we had
on the podcast the guy that is the Carnival Barker
for the for the the Nathan's Hot Dog Contest which
(34:03):
is on Monday, the fourth of July, and we had
him on. He was a very good guest and and
and it was nice to talk to him, and he's
the guy I wanted, behind the scenes guy major league eating.
But this is talking too, and I don't want to
embellish this. If you missed the Joey Chestnut conversation, this
is akin to talking to Michelangelo. Uh is what is
(34:26):
I mean? It's it's just crazy. And I watched this
thing every year and I'm amazed the amount of hot
dogs that are consumed. And Joey Chestnut's got so many
world records, so many unbreakable records. He is secretariat now
he is, He's Secretary of the man. It's it's a
(34:47):
once in a lifetime thing, once in ever so wonderful too.
He has been a big part of our childhood. It's
great to talk to to the great Joey Chestnut. And
we did. We don't have much time left. That's scientifical.
I did see something that I wanted to mention the
scientifical section. Travel could be changing, could being a weasel
(35:09):
word in our lifetime. Now, you know about cruise ships
and all that. Right, you're on a cruise ship. You're
out at sea for however long the ship is looked for.
How would you like to go on a flying cruise? Ship, Danny,
Would that interest you at all? Yeah? They they're working
with technology to have a nuclear powered flying cruise ship
(35:30):
that sounds safe, that could stay airborne for years at
a time, years at a time because it's nuclear. They
estimate that if they do this right, they could carry
five thousand guests on an airborne flying cruise ship. How
(35:55):
wild is that? Sky cruises? How fat would you be
coming off of that it? Yeah, you're not you're not
kidding me, all those years of buffets. I don't know
if I can, like, there's something about the boat. I've
never been on a cruise I've been on boats, obviously,
but you're on a cruise ship. You think, well, I
got a shot. If this thing hits an iceberg, I
(36:17):
can maybe swim and I can tread water for a while.
I got a shot, yeah, and find a whistle to blow.
But if you're on a sky cruise, yeah, if something
goes wrong, if for some reason that does not work.
You gotta see the photos of these things. Damn me,
you see if I can send this to you, Sai here,
I'm gonna send this over. I wanna get your reaction.
This looks like something out of like Star trek or
(36:39):
something like that. This thing is really fat. Is there
even a need for this? Like? Why? I don't where
is this coming from? Who wants to be on a
cruise for that long? Is this if there's some sort
of armageddon on the planet and you have to be
up in the air on a cruise ship? No, No,
this looks just like it's some people that have you know,
it's it's not like it's in the works right now,
(37:00):
but it's Yeah, I sent you a photo of that. Yeah,
it looks like a cross between Epcot Center, the Love
Boat and the biggest air Force one that we have. Yeah.
So this guy in Berlin, uh, he's the guy behind
it here, and he claimed there's no destination. You simply
(37:23):
hop on and you fly around and and no one
ever sees you. Again, I guess it is it like
a traditional sea based cruise ship. Guests can enjoy luxuries
on this thing, including three degree panoramic platform, entertainment deck.
Imagine you're playing basketball and that the ball goes overboard.
(37:43):
That's it. Game over. What is that jet above the
cruise lot? I don't know what that is. It looks
like a toy, do it? Yeah? What in the world.
What in the world, uh, says, I have an entertainment deck,
shopping mall, jym swimming pools, restaurants and bars, theater and cinema.
(38:05):
Do you think that will happen in our lifetimes? Maybe
they say that it could become reality before. So if
we can make it another twenty years day and we'll
be old dudes. But if we can make it to
then we could live to see this in our lifetime. Man.
Pretty well, anyway, we gotta get out of here. Anything
(38:27):
to promote Danni's fourth or July weekend? It's a Saturday.
Anything going on here? Anything you want to promote. Man,
it might be a holiday weekend, but I'm a man
at work. Jeff Schwartz and Steve Hartman the Hartman and
Schwartz Show, and then after that it is the No Show,
the weekend version with from Salam. All Right, the radio
station does not close. The doors are open twenty four
(38:49):
hours a day, seven days a week, and especially in
network radio, local radio is let's flip on the network.
We'll get out of here for a couple of days.
We are the network, so we gotta have me there.
And anyway, listen, have a great rest of your day.
We will have another podcast on July three. July three,
the Mailbag Podcast. We look forward to that. We'll catch
(39:11):
you then. Asta Pasta to be funny go What do
you think of posta Wizards
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
in another random edition of the Fifth Hour with Ben
Mallard and Danny G Radio back in the podcast do
(00:44):
Joe for another day of podcast magic, even on a
holiday weekend, Danny G the extended elongated holiday weekend. We
are here because there is no such thing as holidays
when you work in radio. Is that true, Danny? I
think that's true. That's more than true. And Ben, some
people eat dozens and dozens of hot dogs and buns.
(01:08):
We do dozens and dozens of podcasts. That's right, One
after another saying it is an assembly line. We are
mass producing podcasts. It's what we're doing here, unless we're not.
But you know, we have a good time. We do it, yeah,
depending what some some weeks we do it earlier in
the week. Some weeks we do it late in the week.
You never know the magic of podcasting, you never know
(01:31):
when it happens. The key is to avoid dead air, right,
you don't want to you don't want that sound. You
don't want to hear that your problem. So anyway, we'll
get into it. We have the shell game, walmart or Target, contraband, backscratcher,
and the scientifical if we have time. Who all right,
(01:56):
so let's get right into it. The check engine light
has popped up on the mallarmobile I have driven more recently.
My wife drives a lot for work. I've been driving
into the studio more. So. We took the car to
the shop. They did a bunch of tests, which is
never a good thing. It's never gonna all these cars
(02:16):
today have computers all over the place, so did. They
did a bunch of tests, and the mechanic determined that
the catalytic converter, a component in the engine that keeps
the fuel you know, the gas mileage pretty low, was
slowly dying. And the guys like, well, you need to
replace it. You probably should have replaced it yesterday, and
(02:38):
I'm not hoping so the repair shop because this is
The Life of Mallard podcast of the Repair Shop. I
want to tell you what I've been dealing with your
the family here, So me and the wife, we we
went to the repair shop. They quoted us a price.
It was an outrageously expensive price. It was so expensive
for this part of the car. Then I put my
(03:01):
foot down and said, no, we're not going to spend
that money. Uh no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no. It was really ridunculous how expensive it was.
And so it's anyway, it was such a silly price. Yeah,
I said, no, no, no no, I'm gonna find that part
somewhere on the interweb. I don't know where, but it's
(03:24):
the internet age. I guarantee I can find that part
for cheap. You can check the local chop shop in
Sherman Oaks, California. Verse our producer at Fox bur Singer
and yeah, yeah, I he recently had one of those
stolen off his car at the parking garage at fs
are Yeah, wonderful, murder wonderful. It's great. Well that that
(03:51):
is the number one area or car theft in Los
Angeles where we do the show from the Fox Sports
Radio studios are number one, number you can get on
either the four oh five Freeway or the one on
one within about thirty second, or Ventura Boulevard or Burbank Boulevard. Yeah,
(04:16):
or you can go up in the hills and get
lost in the hills. I mean, there's a million ways
to get out of there. And so car thieves have
figured out over the years that that's a great area.
And there's also a lot of people on the hills
that have a lot of dough a lot of cash,
so that helps as well, and they drive nice cars
and all that. Anyway, so yeah, Bursche, I had heard
(04:37):
some of the Bursche in your head some mission. But anyway,
this mine wasn't stolen. It just started dying. And so
I told the ves a door, get the part number.
I'll go on the internet. I'll find it. So I
get the exact partner. So now the scavenger hunt is on.
And the cool thing about the internet is it doesn't
take that long once you know the right part and
(04:57):
all that stuff. So I'm a man on a mission,
and within a like a minute, Boom found the part.
And I found the part for eight hundred dollars cheaper
at a car shop in Texas. Eight hundred dollars cheaper
than maybe they were. So I ordered the part and
they we we were the part. They said, well, that's
(05:19):
I'm back order. So I'm like, fine, I'll wait. I
don't care, I'll play the waiting game. So then like
a week went by and yeah, I really hadn't heard anything.
And then all of a sudden they cancel the order
and he said no, there's no reason really given. So
(05:40):
now I'm like, okay, well there must have been a misunderstanding,
but maybe they just couldn't get the party. So I
went back on the scavenger hunt, and again bingo, I
found the part again, this time for about seven hundred
dollars cheaper. Then the dealer slash repair shop I went
to was charging for the specific part. So again we
(06:03):
order the part. No problem, do it online. Uh. And
now a couple of weeks later, oops, it happened again.
They canceled apart, and so anyway, it happened again. It's
now happened three times, and so I had an epiphany
that there's a shell game going on and I don't understand.
(06:23):
I don't understand how they're making money on it. Person
I guess they get we buy it and then they
I don't know how they can play with the money
or not. But there's a bunch of places that advertise
all these different It's not just my car, but a
bunch of random parts. And because of several issues possibly
related to Sleepy Joe or Vladimir Putin, depending on who
(06:45):
wanna blame, there are major supply chain issues, and so
these car shops are advertising these parts really cheap, and
then dopes like me end up ordering the part and then, uh,
you know, had a certain finite amount of time, they
end up canceling. So I don't know what the hustle
is per se, but something doesn't smell right. All right,
(07:08):
something doesn't smell right. And I still do not have
the piece for the car that the car still driving.
It's not like I can't drive the car, the Matamobile,
but it's not getting a good gas mileage, and so
the catalytic converter, which there's that's why people are stealing
them right there. This is big money here. You're getting
big money for these things. And so we did order
(07:29):
from a different place. Again, so far they have not canceled,
and hopefully one day I can come on this podcast
Danny and say zipp any dude does zipp any day,
and I'll have the part, and and and it's they're
all cheaper, and like I don't understand, like why why
(07:50):
there would be that big a disparity for the same part,
Like is it you're telling me it's just eight more
in California then it would in Texas or Louisiana or
North Carolina. Doesn't make any sense, so some kind of
shell game. Can you figure out how they're making money
on that? Or why would why would they bother doing it?
(08:12):
I don't understand. If you don't have the part, don't
advertise the part, and you don't have to worry about it.
But if you're advert if you advertise a product, if
if I put an ad on the internet and say
i'm I'll say I'm running a restaurant, and you'll come
to my restaurant. I have the greatest Philly cheese steaks
sandwiches of all the time at my restaurant. And then
(08:34):
you show up to the restaurant to order the sandwich
and they said, well, you know, we don't really have it,
but I'm sorry, we don't have sandwiches anymore. Well, who
does that? You gotta be prepared. So yeah, it's not
like they're charging a service fee or something like that
to pull the part from a shelf, so they're not
gaining anything. If it's hackers, I guess they could try
(08:55):
to get people's information. That would be the only thing
I could think of. Yeah, these are legit in meant places,
like I've as far as I can tell, unless I'm
getting hornswoggled by the Internet, and who the heck knows
whether or not you're getting hornswoggle by the Internet. But
but no, I don't have had had not had any
like weird activity anything like that. It's on my account.
(09:16):
It's just it's like one time, okay, even two times.
I'm like, all right, but it's happened three times, and
I played baseball, Danny g I know three strikes are out.
I know that that's the case. Tomorrow never comes when
you order these parts. It's not right. We got to
hear from some mechanic friends who are listening. Oh yeah,
that's a good call. Yeah, we we have some in
(09:37):
the Mallary militia. We have a few mechanics who are
not bullshitters, who will give us the inside skinny on
what's going on, and it's it could be just that
there are these parts don't exist because they're not making
them and they have to come from another country. And
but again I go back to if you don't have them,
spare me with the advertising on the internet. I don't
(09:58):
need I don't need that, to be honest with me,
So you don't have it. It's fine. Onwards and upwards
we go. And an angel question is it Walmart or
is it Target? It really is a question that goes
back many many years, Danny back to the I think
the Neanderthals where they were walking around wanted to know
do you go to Walmart? Target? What's crazy? Is you?
(10:20):
And I have a similar theme going on here because
this didn't pass the smell test either. Okay, a couple
of nights ago, I go into Target. My girl wanted
some gatorade, some Gatorade zero. So I told her, all right,
she's always at the grocery store, She's always getting what
we need. So I said, I'm gonna go to Target.
(10:41):
You rest, I'll get your gatorade for you. So like
the hero I am, which I go to the store
probably once a month compared to her five times a week.
Did you did you ride in on a horse that
like a like a night and shining armor to the
to the target. It was more like night rider. And
I was walking in like Hastlehoff. I spoke into my
(11:05):
Apple watch and I'm like, kit, meet me out in
front of the target right now. Um. So I go
in there, and as I'm walking through the parking lot,
there's this couple and they are pushing a huge cart
filled with cases of Ensure Red bull which I thought
was a weird combination, a bunch of sodas and cokes
(11:28):
and mountain dew. That's how many drinks were in this cart.
And they're pushing it towards the target, and the lady
says to the guy, you better not be seen with
me going in. That's the only way this is gonna work.
What Yeah, And I'm like, what okay, I'm just gonna
buy my own business. I didn't hear see that, and
(11:49):
so they split up. She's now pushing the cart and
he goes into the other side of the target, and
as I'm walking in, I grabbed my own cart because
I'm thinking, I'm a low up on this gatorade. Let
me throw it in this cart. I've pushed the cart
past where people are doing returns. As I'm passing the
return counter, there's this kid calling for a manager. This
(12:12):
lady is there with that huge cart. I saw them
pushing in or her pushing in now, and she's calling
for assistance because she's like, this lady wants to return
all of this. Wow, So it's a little hustle they got.
So I walked to the back of the target. I
find the drinks, throw it in my cart, wheel it
(12:33):
towards the front. This Targets have a nice part of town.
It's very clean. It's usually a very nice, easy experience
in and out of there, except the lines get kind
of long because like a lot of stores around the country,
they have three people working. And so, yeah, they have
the self checkout options, yes, and that self checkout line
(12:55):
is always pretty long there at this target. But I
get into that line patiently waiting, and all of a sudden,
I hear this voice just screaming, what do you mean,
get away from you, get away from you? Did you
hear that? Did you hear that? And I craned my
head over to take a look, and it's that guy
(13:16):
that was in the parking lot with the lady. He
has two Target employees next to him at the self checkout,
and he is raising hell. He's telling this lady, it's
because I'm black. It's because I'm black, right, because I'm back.
And I'm like, whoa, what is going on over here?
(13:38):
And now the people who are in the line next
to me for the regular checkout they're also are all
looking over This is now an official commotion. And then yeah, yeah,
I get to give a couple other words too. It
was a ship show too. Yeah. He's screaming at specifically
(14:00):
at one of the two standing there next to him,
and he's like, I don't give a funk. If you
are a manager, you're a racist. You just told me
to get away from you. And she and she's like, sir, sir,
and she pulled her mask down. This is what it
started to get really good. Ben. She pulls her mask,
She pulls her COVID mask down, which only employees have on.
(14:23):
Okay inside this store. She pulls the mask down and
she says, look at me, I'm Mexican, okay. And he's like,
so I'm black, and now we're doing William, which is
okay yeah, and she's like, no, sir, sir, I'm Mexican.
My point is we're all from diverse backgrounds. It has
(14:46):
nothing to do with race. And okay, it doesn't have
to do with race. Then why did you just tell
me to get away from you? And she's like, no, sir,
what I said is to back up because I was
busy trying to put my code in And he's like, post,
you told me you weren't gonna put your employee code
in because you said I didn't pay for all these items?
(15:10):
Is he on drugs or something like that, or what's
what's the hustle? What's he going? First thought in my
mind was was this guy purposely causing a distraction so
that that chip could steal some stuff? Yeah, that went
through my mind. Also, he grabbed a receipt. It might
have been another return from another time they were there,
(15:30):
because he was like, see this return receipt because this
lady was nowhere anywhere in sight, nowhere near him, the
one he walked in with that did that big return,
she was nowhere in the picture now. So I'm like,
where is that lady that didn't want to be seen
with him going in? But he's now holding up some
other old receipt. See this receipt. I'm a longtime customer.
(15:52):
And and in his cart ben he now has more
Red Bull, more Insure, more cases of drinks. He went
into the store, grabbed all that stuff and went to
the self checkout. I'm now sitting there like a private detective,
like what is going on here? He tells the lady,
Fuck you, I don't care if you don't think I
(16:13):
didn't pay for all this. I'm walking out with all
my drinks. Oh, here we go. They just walked? Did
he just walk out with all that? So he's flipping
them the bird. He's pushing his card out with all
the drinks, and she's like, sir, sir, you didn't pay
for all of those? Uh? And that's what I was.
(16:35):
That's what I wanted to ask you, because I'm like, okay,
so do you think the hustle was he caused a
big distraction, got out of there, and then they returned
the stuff and got credit or money and he didn't
pay for all the items? Is that the hustle? Yeah?
Like here's the thing that you know in in l A,
(16:55):
you're allowed to steal. The district attorney what's his name,
gascon Or whatever his name is, George Gascon. They allow you.
You're free under a certain amount, right, there's I forget
what the cutoff is, but they you can walk out
of the store and they won't do anything. So but
the return part, it was like they steal stuff and
(17:16):
then plan on returning it so they can get money
for it. But why would you go to the same
story you stole it from. That doesn't make a lot
of sense. No, yeah, they doesn't unless they had gotten
that first cart of stuff came from a different target. Yeah, yeah,
that that could have been where it was from a
different different Are they like gypsies going around stealing stuff
(17:37):
and that's how they make their money or they just
I don't know. That was entertainment for everybody inside that
target though. It was like a real life what's that
the movie with George Clooney Oceans eleven? Is that the one? Yeah?
And that does That's like something you'd expect to see
at Walmart. So, like there's two types of people. There's
the Target people and the Walmart people. I'm on team Walmart.
(18:00):
My wife loves Target. She hates Walmart. She will not
go to Walmart. And I love going to Walmart. Because
it's like you get the shop and see a show.
It's it's like to me, it's just it's I I
used to love when I lived in UH In certain
parts of l A. I would go to Venice Beach,
the Bennette Venice Beach Boardwalk, which is a big tourist place.
But that's like the freak show in l A at
(18:22):
Venice Beach. And when I'm in Vegas, I love to
go to Fremont Street because that's where the freaks are.
And you know, it's like Times Square used to be
like that in New York, not so much anymore. Miami
South Beach, like those are the place. Going to Walmart's
like a little taste of that, and it's what you expect.
There's there's people with all kinds of body art and
(18:42):
uh weird piercings, and people that look like they've been
up for a week or two and haven't slept, and
and there's like all kinds of people that are you
can tell are introverts and don't get out much. This
is their only trip. There's it's just wild. They're at Walmart,
but you don't always see that at Target. Target has
the reputation of being more more upscale, obviously than the
(19:04):
Walmart tar j as we like to call it, my
tender rowning. She also refuses to walk into a Walmart. Yeah,
my wife, I'm like just coming up with let's go
to Walmart. You get the better deals. The people are crazy,
She's not. I don't like the she don't like the lighting.
She complains about the lighting is I've heard that to
the lighting makes some people ill. What the hell? I've
(19:25):
never had an issue with the lighting. Like whatever, I
to walk in, I get my stuff, walk out whatever.
The light it's like hospital lighting, and you also have
some sick people inside, like the Camaio hospital. Yeah, yeah,
it might be that. These are some of the people
that call me. Would be the Walmart crowd, right, some
(19:45):
of my regulars might be the Walmart crowds. I'm not
naming names here. Holler and James would be checking you out, Yeah,
hollering James and Jet well, well, Jet fueld George he
called for a while, he stopped calling, uh, And then
our our friend in Florida who likes to do the
(20:09):
drug fled. Jeah. Yeah, Jet who fled would be pupils
on his eyes, would be like really like wide open
all that stuff. So there you go, alright, wonderful. I
wonder how often people do go to Target and Walmart
and try to return stuff they didn't actually buy and
how that works. But I know what Walmart do you
(20:31):
have to have the receipt, right, That's that's the deal, apparently,
I Target, you can just scream at managers flip birds
and put your card out. Yeah. I last year we
had the first ever and this is a this is
a a podcast exclusive, a fifth hour exclusion. So last
(20:52):
year we had the first ever Mallard flea market for
you know, just for laughs and giggles. We had eempted
to unload some of our excess. As you know from
listening to the podcast over the last couple of years,
I've I've lost my father last year. So my dad
had all my mom's stuff and his stuff obviously because
(21:14):
he was still with us. And then when he passed on, I,
along with my brothers and you know, got all my
dad's stuff. But since my brothers live respectively in Wisconsin
and New York, they're not in California, so I ended
up having to take care of me and the wife.
We had to take care of all that stuff. So
(21:35):
we tried to have a flea market, didn't he did
not go all that great. We had bought some sandwich
board to advertise around the north Woods and it was
not very effective. One of our neighbors not part of
it was because COVID was still very active and it
hadn't things hadn't opened back up. That was one issue. Uh.
(21:59):
And so one of the neighbors who had kind of
walked around and seeing what we were doing, and he
just he was doing some shopping looking looking at the
the crap we were selling at the garage sale. He
mentioned this. This old guy said, yeah, I got a
little life ACTU debonair. Gentleman said that he was one
(22:19):
a hat. He said, you know we should do and
he says he's done this. He says, you wait till
the next election, and then the election signs are wonderful
to repurpose for yards sits. And so the guy's giving
this whole rap. He said, there's a city ordinance which
he said says he says in a a fair game, he says,
(22:42):
you can use it to your advantage. He sayd's after
an election, the candidates, whether they win or lose, it
doesn't matter you have. I think it was two days
to pick up all of you know, those plastic signs
that are all over the place before. So in this
in this town, he said, you can pick those things
up and if if they don't pick the signs up,
they'll get fine. The politicians and the residents are free
(23:05):
to take them. It's like a blight in the community.
So we had an election not that long ago, like
all over California, right it was like a mid term
thing or something. Anyway, So there's an election and I'm
driving around and I remember what that guy had said,
and I'm driving back home and I noticed there was
some really good looking signs, some really sexy signs, and
(23:29):
I made a deal with myself. Danny Gait, did you
say sexy signs. Yeah, they were good looking signs. They
were like signs like you could say, oh, that's gonna
get a lot of traffic of the yards. And so
I made a deal with myself. If those signs, I said,
in my head, you know you have that, you have
yet that that that soundtrack in your head. So the
voice in my head is like, Okay, here's the deal.
(23:49):
I'm not gonna take the signs right now. I'm gonna
give these politicians all the time I can. I don't
even know who they were. I didn't pay, but I
I said, listen, if those things are still there in
a couple of days, they're mine. And so a couple
of days, each day I drove by, they were still there.
Drove by, there were fewer and fewer signs, but they
(24:11):
were still some there. And so after a couple of
days had passed, I was driving back from the gym.
Actually I was driving back from the gym, and they there,
they were. I saw them like a beacon off in
the distance as I was driving, and I saw the signs,
and I drove by them, and then I made a
(24:32):
U turn and it was on like Donkey Kong. I
stopped the malamobile right on the side of the highway.
There I got out with the comps. I was like
a peacock with my feathers off, very confident, and I
snatched these political signs and I took him like they
belonged to me, and uh, and then I headed back home.
(24:57):
I hid the contraband on the side eight of the
Mallard mansion, so very smooth. And my my wife, she's
probably gonna hear this podcast and find out about this,
but she doesn't even know. I have not informed her
that I did this. But he would have told me
not to do it. But I did it and as
smooth as Tennessee whiskey. Uh. And so so now we
(25:21):
are locked and loaded. Whenever the next Mallard flea market happens,
hopefully we'll do something by the end of the summer,
late July, August, something like that. But I have a
couple of political signs, so I will be able to
put the way it works here, Danny, is you take
the sandwich board, you put it over the sign to
cover the obviously you don't want to promote the politician
(25:43):
and uh. And these are very effective and I'm excited
to see if it does work to increase traffic to
sell products because I'm in I'm a businessman, Danny, I'm
looking out for the business. You know, there's items to
be sold. I know, I'm a supposedly a radio guy.
Why would you think Colin Cowherd is doing this? You
think God leaves doing this kind of stuff. No, probably
not probably. I don't think Colin Coward's driving back to
(26:05):
a seven million dollar mansion in Uh. Near the beach
there in l A in Manhattan Beach and saying, what's
going on with these signs here? Maybe I could pick
one up for my garage. So I don't think he's
doing it. But see I'm I'm more relatable that way, Danny.
That's the way I look at You are John Q taxpayer,
So you have every right to those signs, that's right. Listen.
(26:27):
And the rules are if you don't pick the signs
up after a couple of days, it's free game, free rein.
And so that people did not pick the signs up.
And that little birdie or that old Debonair guy who
came by, he told me the whole thing, give me
the inside skinny, and so there you go. I I
I took the opportunity and I pounced, is what I did.
(26:49):
So when are you going to have your next Mallard
flea market? Yeah, we're we're looking probably the end of
the ind of summer. As I said, so nothing, nothing said.
The problem with the flea market is you have to
like go through everything and price it and it's a
big pain in the behind. So we'll see labeling, the
(27:10):
waking up early, moving it all out, then setting it
all out for a nice display, and then you have
to be out there with everything. You have to be
a show guy or a show girl with the items. Yeah,
and then you're like disappointing because not enough people come
by or they don't buy it. And then they try
to they try to work in and get even less
for they want to pay less for the item, right,
(27:32):
they try to hustle. So that's the whole thing. A
lot of haggling going on. Yeah, yeah, a lot of that.
Or only I only have cash, or I only have
this much cash. I don't have the full amount, but
I only have just just what's in my pocket right now,
and I can't I'll by the way, this weekend a
big weekend, Danny g. It's the wife's birthday was back
(27:52):
on Thursday, so this is her birthday week, which means
we have a very busy schedule and she has requested
that I surprise her. So we are going on a surprise.
I'm not even allowed to reveal it here on the podcast,
but I uh it invine. I can't even say what
(28:15):
it runs, but listen then I will give complete details
that if I pull this off, maybe it will not happen.
But the plan is, as we are talking right now,
me and you, a little birthday surprise that will be
taking place hopefully. But you're gonna take the car that
doesn't have the catalytic converter issue. God, no, we're taking
(28:36):
the one of the catalytic converter issue. No, no, we're
taking that way. But here's here's the thing. Like I
I'm not a planner per se. My wife usually plans
most of the stuff that we end up doing. I'm
like just going along with the flow kind of. So
now I'm in charge. Now I'm the one making the plans.
Let's see if it works out or not. Now the Backscratcher.
This is our weekly feature on the show Danny where
(28:57):
we we help out and we asked people to give
us reviews. Some of these podcasts like millions of reviews,
so popular and we're just a little engine that could here.
We only do the podcast a few days a week.
We're not a daily podcast. We're not you know, we
don't have a big advertising budget. So one of the
things that helps us out to keep the good podcast
(29:18):
going is a review, a simple review on the Apple
podcast page. You can go wherever you get podcasts, but
on the Apple podcast page. For some reason, management seems
to be fascinated with that podcast page. It's a very
big deal. Uh. And so anyway, we asked you to
do it. What help us out? Nice review? Five stars
on there. I know it's a pain in the the
(29:40):
assis and all that, but why not because this show
is a solid two five stars for each of us.
I I captain five stars, Hi, I like to saint.
So the way it works is if you take the
time out of your busy life you have to do
you have responsibilities. Why are you doing it? But if
(30:03):
you take the time out of your life to do it,
you scratch our back. We scratch your light. You're you're back.
And it's it's our weekly tip of the on air
light the microphone if you were the headphones to the
p ones. And so this week we go to the
podcast pagency who has giving us a review? Do we
have any reviews? Danny? Do you think we have any reviews?
This and give you two dollar drum roll here number one? Hey,
(30:31):
but we'll take that loud and proud. We'll take number
one right here. It is river Rat is the nice
person to gift us a good review on the Apple
podcast page. He gave us Danny five stars. He did
not tell us to shut the hell up. It's a
wonderful thing. And uh and here's what he wrote. He
(30:52):
wrote smart, humorous, relatable. See that Danny were relatable. Listeners
to this podcast also have taken political signs to repurpose.
They've also sold crap in the front yard like we
have absolutely anyway, River Rats says Benn and Danny G.
Are a great pairing for the podcast format. It is
(31:12):
clear they like each other and the repartee is funny, enjoyable,
and relatable to everyday life Boom, he says. Ben stories
on toothaches, garlic cures, the veteran moves for sampling food
at Costco, and losing a wedding ring at the beach
make you feel like you're sitting there with them. Danny
G's teaching experience is fun to hear, along with inside
(31:36):
school stories about the bureaucracy, kids attitudes, and preparing science
lessons place well lesson plans. Well, this is somebody that's
a p one right here. This guy, Danny, this guy
gets he's he's taking copious amounts of notes on all
the nonsets we talked about on a weekly basis. Here
he says Danny's stories about personally talking to Donald Trump
(31:56):
while trying to book him on the show was very entertaining.
You guys are the best. Thank you for taking the
time to share a little life with your listeners. Well,
thank you, River Rat. That's one of the nicest reviews
we've had. That was wonderful, So thank you. And it
came from a rat. It came from vermint Man. Believable.
(32:18):
That's a really nice review. And Ben, who would have
thought that it would take more emails and more calls
to book Joey Chestnut than it would Donald Trump. Well,
in fairness, President Trump very he likes the media. Well,
he liked friendly media. We we that was friendly a
media right with media who agrees with him. Yeah, yes,
(32:38):
I think every president likes the media that agrees with them,
whether it's Trump or Biden whoever. So there's that with
President Trump. And Trump was a media guy before he
became the president. And Joey Chestnut though, we're talking about
Babe Ruth in his prime. This is bigger than Lebron James.
(32:59):
It is bigger than Tom Brady. It just is. There
is debate whether or not Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback.
Most people say he is, but there's a Joe Montana crowd.
There's other people that say random quarterbacks Peyton Manning or
Drew Brees or somebody else's better, more talented, that Brady
just happened to be lucky with the Patriots. There's that argument.
(33:20):
There's an argument I'm a Michael Jordan fit. Other people
like uh Lebron and some people old school guys will
give you a wilt or something like that. There is
no debate. There is a consensus that the great Joey
Chestnut is the single not a generational talent, He's an
all time talent in his athletic endeavor of competitive eating.
(33:43):
And how lucky Danny. I want to hug you. That
was such an a minute, What an amazing get to
have Joey Chestnut. I mean, I've been wanting to talk
to him for years. We had last year we had
on the podcast the guy that is the Carnival Barker
for the for the the Nathan's Hot Dog Contest which
(34:03):
is on Monday, the fourth of July, and we had
him on. He was a very good guest and and
and it was nice to talk to him, and he's
the guy I wanted, behind the scenes guy major league eating.
But this is talking too, and I don't want to
embellish this. If you missed the Joey Chestnut conversation, this
is akin to talking to Michelangelo. Uh is what is
(34:26):
I mean? It's it's just crazy. And I watched this
thing every year and I'm amazed the amount of hot
dogs that are consumed. And Joey Chestnut's got so many
world records, so many unbreakable records. He is secretariat now
he is, He's Secretary of the man. It's it's a
(34:47):
once in a lifetime thing, once in ever so wonderful too.
He has been a big part of our childhood. It's
great to talk to to the great Joey Chestnut. And
we did. We don't have much time left. That's scientifical.
I did see something that I wanted to mention the
scientifical section. Travel could be changing, could being a weasel
(35:09):
word in our lifetime. Now, you know about cruise ships
and all that. Right, you're on a cruise ship. You're
out at sea for however long the ship is looked for.
How would you like to go on a flying cruise? Ship, Danny,
Would that interest you at all? Yeah? They they're working
with technology to have a nuclear powered flying cruise ship
(35:30):
that sounds safe, that could stay airborne for years at
a time, years at a time because it's nuclear. They
estimate that if they do this right, they could carry
five thousand guests on an airborne flying cruise ship. How
(35:55):
wild is that? Sky cruises? How fat would you be
coming off of that it? Yeah, you're not you're not
kidding me, all those years of buffets. I don't know
if I can, like, there's something about the boat. I've
never been on a cruise I've been on boats, obviously,
but you're on a cruise ship. You think, well, I
got a shot. If this thing hits an iceberg, I
(36:17):
can maybe swim and I can tread water for a while.
I got a shot, yeah, and find a whistle to blow.
But if you're on a sky cruise, yeah, if something
goes wrong, if for some reason that does not work.
You gotta see the photos of these things. Damn me,
you see if I can send this to you, Sai here,
I'm gonna send this over. I wanna get your reaction.
This looks like something out of like Star trek or
(36:39):
something like that. This thing is really fat. Is there
even a need for this? Like? Why? I don't where
is this coming from? Who wants to be on a
cruise for that long? Is this if there's some sort
of armageddon on the planet and you have to be
up in the air on a cruise ship? No, No,
this looks just like it's some people that have you know,
it's it's not like it's in the works right now,
(37:00):
but it's Yeah, I sent you a photo of that. Yeah,
it looks like a cross between Epcot Center, the Love
Boat and the biggest air Force one that we have. Yeah.
So this guy in Berlin, uh, he's the guy behind
it here, and he claimed there's no destination. You simply
(37:23):
hop on and you fly around and and no one
ever sees you. Again, I guess it is it like
a traditional sea based cruise ship. Guests can enjoy luxuries
on this thing, including three degree panoramic platform, entertainment deck.
Imagine you're playing basketball and that the ball goes overboard.
(37:43):
That's it. Game over. What is that jet above the
cruise lot? I don't know what that is. It looks
like a toy, do it? Yeah? What in the world.
What in the world, uh, says, I have an entertainment deck,
shopping mall, jym swimming pools, restaurants and bars, theater and cinema.
(38:05):
Do you think that will happen in our lifetimes? Maybe
they say that it could become reality before. So if
we can make it another twenty years day and we'll
be old dudes. But if we can make it to
then we could live to see this in our lifetime. Man.
Pretty well, anyway, we gotta get out of here. Anything
(38:27):
to promote Danni's fourth or July weekend? It's a Saturday.
Anything going on here? Anything you want to promote. Man,
it might be a holiday weekend, but I'm a man
at work. Jeff Schwartz and Steve Hartman the Hartman and
Schwartz Show, and then after that it is the No Show,
the weekend version with from Salam. All Right, the radio
station does not close. The doors are open twenty four
(38:49):
hours a day, seven days a week, and especially in
network radio, local radio is let's flip on the network.
We'll get out of here for a couple of days.
We are the network, so we gotta have me there.
And anyway, listen, have a great rest of your day.
We will have another podcast on July three. July three,
the Mailbag Podcast. We look forward to that. We'll catch
(39:11):
you then. Asta Pasta to be funny go What do
you think of posta Wizards
Host
Ben Maller
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